A Belly Full of Blood
by karapuui
Summary: The great War has just ended and yet an old enemy returns. But why is this happening? As secrets from the past are revealed, Zero finds himself thrown into the madness, with Kaname naturally the source of it all... kaname/zero, takuma/shiki, kain/aidou COMPLETE
1. His Majesty

**Hey everyone, this is my first fanfic! this is technically a VEEEERY adapted version, inspired from the manga/anime, so dont go by this for accuracy, and please dont penalise me for any false info. **

**Summary:  
>It's after the great War with everyone finally growing accustomed to the idea of peace between the humans and vampires. A peace treaty is about to be passed, when suddenly news comes from the Council of a sudden coronation to claim Kaname as their rightful King. No one understands where this idea suddenly sprang from, why things are happening so quickly now - a coronation in a week? Plus there are the rumours that the War isn't over. And it isn't over, not at all. ~<br>**

**Pairings will be: kaname/zero, kain/aidou, ichijou/shiki **

**Disclaimer: dont own anything, e.g. Vampire Knight, property of Hino Matsuri. this includes all characters etc. etc. (is there anything i've left out of the disclaimer?) please review, so i know if this story is worth continuing at all! thank you!**

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><p>The room was silent and dark and tension was thick in the air. All eyes were on a certain Pureblood as he sat, in the best seat of course, brooding. Exactly an hour earlier a letter had arrived, strange since it was quite late into the morning and most of the students were just about to go to bed. The letter hadn't caused much commotion at first. It was a common occurrence that their Prince received mail from the Vampire Council, he was a very busy person. But then Kaname had raised a beckoning hand to his closest friend, Ichijou Takuma, and they had pored over the letter together silently.<p>

This was strange.

And they reached the point that they were at right now - heads bowed together over the letter and everyone tense in anticipation.

It flooded the room, rooting everyone to the spot they stood.

Kaname's face was pinched into a small frown, his furrowed brow causing some of the First Years to bite their lips anxiously. His sister, their beloved Princess Yuuki, was sat by his side sipping rosehip tea. She appeared to be the only one unconcerned about the situation, never mind the fact that she also didn't know what was happening.

Kaname's closest friends had collectively gathered as though sensing they were needed for support. Aidou was tensely perched on one of the plush sofas, gripping the cushions so tightly his knuckles were icy white. His cousin, Kain was hovering on the armrest beside him, a heavy hand clamped down on his shoulders to keep his fidgety cousin still. Ruka and Rima were both calmly sharing the divan, as was to be expected of the strong young women, though their eyes kept flitting over to Kaname every now and again, betraying their nerves. Takuma stood beside Kaname, the letter held in his hands, and he couldn't help but sigh as he found his roommate Shiki had once again decided to sit himself on his feet (whilst eating his pocky).

Then suddenly, Yuuki sneezed.

It broke the otherwise perfect silence.

She gasped, fingers pinching her tiny nose tightly and eyes wide.

At times the class were slightly resentful that Yuuki had been raised by _H__umans_ before. In situations like this, when _no one_ was breathing, that they were reminded of this fact. Vampires didn't need to breathe, but the habit had stuck with her, which caused her to do Human things, like _sneezing_.

She sat there, blinking rapidly. Everyone gasped as Kaname raised his hand, would he strike her, would he...?

Of course not, he merely touched her shoulder lightly and a small, fond smile appeared on his lips.

"Ruka, please take Yuuki upstairs, I believe it is getting quite late."

"But onii-sama-"

"Hush, Yuuki, I will explain everything later," he patted her shoulder again.

The dazzling beauty, known as Ruka, floated to her in an instant and gently took Yuuki's hand as they exited gracefully. It seemed that this interruption had woken Kaname from his musings and the Pureblood signalled to Takuma, who promptly rose.

"Everyone, as you know we have just received some very important news," he began. "The Council have agreed that as of Kaname's turning eighteen, he would be crowned upon the noble tradition of all the Pureblood Kings. A Coronation Banquet and Ball is to be held in exactly a week from now, to celebrate this event."

Immediately the room dissolved into excited whispers and hushed conversation. The air was alive with the news. A coronation! At last the decision to make Kaname the King once more had been presided.

And it was wonderful news that their beloved Prince was to be crowned, finally! After the War, when the world had been rid of Rido and his followers, some of which were in the Council itself, the Vampire world had been thrown into a dilemma. They were horrified at the betrayal committed by their Council members, but that didn't hold a flame to the destructiveness Rido had caused.

And that had been only _one_ Pureblood's mad bloodbath.

It had reminded the Vampires of the terrifying power Purebloods wielded, the superiority they had over all other beings, bestowed on them by blood.

But then again, they conceded that it had been another Pureblood who had killed Rido - _Kaname_ - his own nephew, had destroyed the destroyer to save them all. Not only that, Kaname had cleansed the Council, ridding them of all remaining traitors.

In every Vampire's heart, they knew that Kaname was their King already, even if the Council hadn't announced it. He was a saviour and they adored him.

It was good that he was going to be King for real though!

Takuma sighed as the girls began to break into squeals and high-pitched giggles about their dresses they were planning to get for the Ball.

He called for _order._

"Alright, alright! Everyone, it would be appreciated if you could contact your families at once. School will be formally dismissed in three days time. That will give everyone a four day period to get prepared. The Coronation is to be held, of course, at Kuran Castle. Your Elders will know the routes. Is everyone clear?"

There were a series of nods, grins and excited squeals once more. Takuma smiled triumphantly.

"Excellent! Well then, everyone ought to go get some rest then. To bed!" he called, attempting to usher some Second Years to the doors whilst Shiki continued to anchor his feet.

Shiki snorted softly, shifting so he was even _more_ on Takuma's feet.

"They left it pretty late to announce something like that so suddenly," he muttered.

"Yes, well we've been waiting for something like this for a while now, obviously," Aidou cut in, he was now fully bouncing in his seat. Kain had given up holding him down some while ago, "I mean, it's _Kaname_-sama! Everyone knew after the War this was bound to happen!"

"I've reminded you many times to call me 'Kaname' Aidou," Kaname sighed, rubbing at the frowning crease between his brows in frustration, "Just _Kaname."_

"Sorry, force of habit-"

"I expect you all to go to bed now," Kaname said, unusually snappish, "It's almost eleven already."

The friends bid him goodnight quickly, slightly unnerved by the fact that he seemed rather peeved off at the announcement instead of excited like everyone else. Only Takuma and Shiki remained in the room with Kaname, quite simply because Shiki wouldn't move. One of the reasons for this was that he would stubbornly not move from one spot until he had finished his pocky. The other was concern for his cousin.

Although they weren't as close as they would've been, had they grown up together, Shiki was almost as attuned to Kaname's moods as Takuma was, since he _had_ grown up with Kaname, so he could read them off Takuma's face. They both knew something was brewing beneath Kaname's frown.

"What is it, Kaname?" Shiki mumbled around a pocky.

Kaname shot him an irritated glance before sighing in defeat, "This _is_ rather sudden, that's all. I'm just... _suspicious."_

"But you turned eighteen last month. They said that was the reason for this-" Takuma began.

"My age doesn't matter in something like this. There is something else at work here. For every coronation that has been, a Kuran has had to be crowned following some disaster or for the purpose of solving some problem that is yet to pass. There always has to be a _push," _he scowled, "Some _foul _reason for the passing of the crown."

Shiki brushed some crumbs off his lips and hefted himself to standing, climbing half up Takuma who flailed comically at this invasion of his personal space.

The redhead scowled uncharacteristically, since his default expression was no-expression.

"Well, perhaps it is a coincidence," Takuma laughed uneasily, attempting to diffuse the tension that was once again building.

"No," Kaname said simply.

"No," Shiki agreed. "I've read our history," he nodded at Kaname, "And what he says is technically true. There has sometimes been a feud amongst the power-levels in the family, whether someone is entitled to so much of some inheritance, for example. The council settle this with either a coronation or a marriage. Or sometimes there has been a coronation which was purposefully arranged in a roundabout way of declaring a war on a rival clan. Sometimes there have even been assassinations," he paused, "There is always a push."

"This is why I don't like the look of this at all," Kaname summarised. He rolled his neck a few times, popping the stiff joints, "And after the War, well..." he glanced almost apologetically at Takuma, "Let's just say that I _really_ don't like the idea of _this_ Council playing around with me."

Takuma's grandfather had been the former Head of the Vampire Council before he was found to be siding with Rido during the War, and had consequently been 'dealt with'. Technically Kaname was now the Head, but he had then given the responsibility to Takuma, since he was already swamped with work from the continuous project of making Peace between Hunters and Vampires. There was no love lost between the grandfather or grandson, however it was always a sore topic to touch on.

Takuma suddenly began to flail his arms once more, "I had no idea about this, Kaname! I don't know why they didn't contact me about this beforehand-"

Kaname dismissed him with a glance, "Time for bed now," he said more firmly, ushering them away like an experienced father, "I need to go talk to Yuuki about this. I expect she is keeping everyone on her side of the dorm awake."

Takuma chuckled and lead Shiki away and up the stairs, in the opposite direction to Kaname. He could only guess at the giggles and squeals that would be bubbling and brewing along the corridors Kaname was crossing. Kaname's aura in the girls' side of the dormitories would cause some excitement he was sure, despite the fact everyone knew it was only Yuuki Kaname was going to visit.

Surely enough, he heard one girl's enamoured squeal break free behind a closed door.

Grinning, Takuma only shook his head.

"Ne, Taku..."

He turned his attention back to the redhead.

"I'm worried now. About Kaname - he's right. And I'm wondering now..."

"Hmm?" he pressed, nudging Shiki along to quicken their paces.

"...what do you think the _push_ will be, for Kaname?"

Takuma's light mood disappeared, and he only gave a small shrug in response. It was never a good idea to dwell on bad feelings, in Takuma's opinion, and so he covered up his worry with well-concealed excitement for the coronation, even as it became ever more nagging at his mind, the prospect of bad things to come.


	2. Hunting Hunters

Kaname's footsteps echoed down the empty corridors.

It was well into noon by now, and he had tended to Yuuki's curiosity and endured her numerous high-pitched squeals and "glomps". To be frank, he was quite exhausted, but he knew that he would have to speak to the Headmaster before he could retire to his room.

The letter be damned - it said that every _Vampire_ was invited to attend, but he would invite a Hunter who he saw of as one of his dearest friends nonetheless - Kaien Kurosu. There was nary a man as cheerful as Kaien (perhaps only Takuma), even at over two-hundred years old, he retained a youthful bounce in his step.

It always brought a smile to Kaname's face when he visited him, whether it was reluctant or truly amused.

He knocked at the Headmaster's door twice sharply.

The door swung open on the next beat.

"Kaname! You've not been by for a while!" the cheerful blonde greeted, inviting him in with a swing of his arm, "Come in, come in!"

"I visited last week Headmaster," he replied shortly, striding in with the ease of a common visitor. He settled himself on the receiving chair opposite to the Headmaster's intimidating wing-backed chair, shaking his head as the Kaien threw himself down in it like a King in his throne. He smirked at the irony of that.

_"Far_ too long! You should visit every other day at the _least_! And where is my Yuuki? My precious little daughter, oh I hope she isn't missing her pa-"

"Much as I enjoy the chatter, Headmaster, I have something I need to speak to you about."

Kaien flustered at the suddenness of the change in mood but acquiesced with a gesture for him to continue.

"We have received news from the Council that there is to be a coronation held in a week."

"A coronation?" Kaien mused. Kaname watched as the cogs turned ever so slowly, noticing with a glance that Kaien had not yet had his midday coffee, "Oh! _Your _coronation?"

"Yes. And I would like to invite you to it," he said, watching Kaien carefully.

"Is there a letter? May I see it?"

Kaname handed the letter over, watching as the Headmaster pored over it much as he and Takuma had. He saw his eyes flit back up at the embossed official Council seal again and again. Kaname knew what the answer would be before he even replied.

"I apologise Kaname, but I believe this ceremony is strictly for Vampires only?"

"It's a ceremony held for _me_," Kaname frowned, "And _I_ am therefore inviting you to come. Do not worry about such things as Vampires. I'm sure two centuries is enough time for you to have become used to them."

Kaien laughed, "Oh I am! I am! But the presence of a Hunter at such an event would be a scandal! Kaname, I appreciate your invitation, but I will have to... politely decline."

Kaname nodded, standing to leave. Kaien winked at him, "But no worries, I will of course be there in spirit - thinking of you!"

Kaname smiled and bid Kaien 'Goodnight', even as the man replied with a swift 'Good afternoon'.

He intended to go straight to his chambers to sleep. It had been an eventful few hours, and knowing that in less than a week he was to be crowned King was a lot to think about. It was just so _ridiculous._ It was well into the afternoon now, and after he had conceded to some tea and cakes with Kaien (a bad idea before going to bed, but he couldn't resist Kaien's pleas when he was already so exhausted), he was ready for bed.

Kaname decided on walking back to the boys' side of the dorm rather than teleporting. He needed the time to think, or rather _stop _thinking.

But just as he was approaching the boy's wing, he recognised the familiar tug of a Bond, directly over the healed bite mark on his neck. He hesitated, debating on whether he should respond to it or ignore it. The pull was strong and needy though, and he knew he would not be able to pass by and ignore it, especially since his rooms were at the very end of the wing.

Damn.

It seemed that there would be no sleep for Kaname that night...

* * *

><p>...Kiryuu Zero glared at his wall.<p>

It had beautiful wallpaper, with ornate wood panelling near the skirting boards and ceiling, and a subtle floral pattern hand-painted onto the padded wallpaper.

Zero spat on the face of the sick injustice that made it so he was _certain_ even one _tiny_ square patch of the damned wallpaper was worth more than the cost of all his clothing combined.

And he didn't even want to get started on the carpet.

The carpet was _ridiculous_.

It was so plush and fluffy that he could easily go around barefoot in the winter without discomfort.

He could _sink his toes in it like it was sand._

Utterly ridiculous.

One day he vowed he would get down on his knees and measure the length of the carpet thickness with his own ruler. He was sure it would be something like three inches thick.

Oh the luxury these damn Vampires lived in.

Zero had refused, and refused again and _repeatedly_ refused the Headmaster's suggestions to join the Night Class over and over again that he had been sure he was never going to end up there.

Oh, not so.

It was with great reluctance that he agreed to join them, for his own safety and the safety of the Day Class students, he surrendered.

Over the past year, after the War especially, he had begun trying to take blood tablets once more. It had been the War which had shown him directly the importance of blood and how limited the supply really was. With weapons the opposition used of blood-borne diseases infecting blood suppliers all over the Vampire world, he had seen the shortages and the dangers faced from them. The consequent fights over who had the right to the limited fresh blood - the rich or the poor or the sick or the needy? The sacrifices... the horrible, nightmarish tales of familial sacrifices for the sake of blood.

It made him appreciate (with great reluctance) his fortunate situation - he was fed by the blood of Kuran Kaname (the blood of a Pureblood being his last resort from falling to a Level E status - the worst, most savage Vampires who had no conscience or mind to speak of). However he realised that he could not depend on Kaname forever. Eventually he would have to be weaned off onto a more stable diet, especially with them growing up and, well, he guessed that eventually Kaname would most likely want to live his own life, which he couldn't do with a hungry Level D holding him back...

Zero decided that he had to prepare for this separation, so he began to take the pills.

However, his body didn't agree with this plan.

It continued to reject the pills, much to his chagrin. And he hadn't really taken into account the damage the pills were doing to his system until he began vomiting blood...

...in the middle of one of his classes.

That had brought about a long, _long_ lecture from the Headmaster, with Kuran present and watching with an annoyingly blank stare.

That blank stare had been more frustrating to see than the disappointed or disapproving stare he had been expecting.

With this incident, he was transferred to the Night Class within the next term.

And that had meant he had to join the Moon Dorms as well.

And the Moon Dorms, he realised, were so much better than the Sun Dorms, damn it! It wasn't fair!

It must be because those of the Night Class tended to be either rich, or very, _very_ rich and therefore they expected _quality_. Damn spoiled brats.

He sat down on his downy, quilted bed and sighed in frustration.

Earlier there had been a meeting in the common room, for all Vampires.

He didn't know if that included him, so he had remained in his room.

And now, the hunger had him.

Zero groaned as another wave of fresh bloodthirst rolled over his body, clenching his stomach and making his throat achy and unbearably dry.

None of the luxury around him could distract him from it.

He had traipsed down to the kitchens and gotten himself a glass of his favourite pineapple juice earlier, but the taste was too overwhelmingly sweet and sugary for him, so he had thrown it down the drain. What a waste. He had also taken a glass of pomegranate juice, since it was apparently good for the cardiovascular system. But then he had noticed that although it was red, it was not thick or dark enough to be blood. And he had thrown this down the sink too. Zero hated wasting it, but it actually _disgusted _him so much that he had to get rid of it.

It was these symptons that indicated an impending bloodthirst. The aches and pains, getting easily distracted, and the illusions of blood in the strangest of places (puddles, toilets) drove him up the fucking _wall._

But he was determined not to give into the madness that was part of being a low-level Vampire.

It was like he was constantly treading water to remain afloat. Kaname's blood kept him head above water most of the time, but the threat of sinking to a Level E was always there, pulling on his feet - urging him to sink in the deep, dark water of madness.

Ah, it was foolish to wish for a long life. As long as he lived long enough to see the Peace treaty established and working, he would welcome death.

Zero sighed again and decided he would go get a glass of _water_ this time. He would definitely not mistake the water for blood, and perhaps it would settle his stomach. Some nice, cold ice water might calm him down.

But just as he opened the door, he immediately tried to shut it.

A flash of brown and the scent of roses had hit him in the face, literally.

He knew then that Kaname had come by.

"Kiryuu-kun," Kaname said.

"...what are you doing here, Kuran-senpai?" Zero said, trying to stay civil as he grasped at his throat without drawing attention to it.

Kaname followed the movement and raised one eyebrow loftily.

This made Zero scowl angrily and drop his hand. How typical. He hated feedings, but, knowing that they were necessary for keeping him safe, he always accepted them when they came by.

Because it was always Kaname who came by to feed him, never the other way around.

It was understood that Zero would never ask for blood from Kaname. He vaguely remembered the time where he had stubbornly refused to feed for over a month, by which point he was literally starving, so most of his memory of it was blurry with delirium. He was mortified to this day to admit that he had been found (by Aidou and Kaname) slumped on the floor of his room, practically comatose, his fingers raw from clawing the (rougher) floor in his madness. He had been even too weak to bite Kaname, and had to be fed through a drip. Utterly humiliating.

Kaname wasn't an unwilling donor. He was actually surprisingly generous with his donations, supplying blood whenever Zero needed it. Zero never asked how he knew when that was.

But the feedings...they were so bloody _awkward._

"Uh...so how are we doing this then?" Zero asked, gesturing to them... between them... somewhere.

He hated feedings _so much._

"Sit," Kaname instructed, pointing to the bed, "You look unstable as it is. We don't want you collapsing."

Kaname's face never changed once throughout the feeding. Zero was dumbfounded. Surely it hurt to be bitten? He was sure it hurt, possibly as bad as gun shots. It was someone _digging their teeth in your flesh_ so they could _eat_ you. It sounded positively traumatic.

Zero couldn't remember what it had been like to be bitten - he had been too young, all he could recall was the pain and the terror of not knowing when the pain would end.

But Kaname barely reacted to feedings. Even in situations where he bit really roughly, like he could tell he was about to right then, due to a particularly long fasting period, he hardly flinched. Or when he practically tore at Kaname's neck to get to the fresh blood after another failed attempt at taking the blood tablets - nothing, not a wince. Stoic bastard.

Zero took a seat beside Kaname and then cringed a little at his blank expression. It was so cold. The action of taking blood was quite intimate, or at least the position it put them in was involuntarily intimate. But he had to face this blank, unapproachable face every time he fed from him.

It was really off-putting. If he hadn't been starving, he might be put off his meal.

However, he eventually managed to ignore Kaname's blank stare and dipped his lengthening fangs directly into his carotid artery. Immediately the bloodthirst sang and he closed his eyes as he began to draw blood.

Kaname's blood was actually surprisingly sweet, like a dark hot chocolate drink, but it had the iron-y sharpness any blood had. But what made Kaname's Pure blood utterly delectable was not just its exquisite taste but the flood of energy and power it gave with every tiny sip. Every molecule of blood seemed to be liquid gold, working in extraordinary ways to make Zero feel as though power was leaking through his skin.

But Pure blood was just as potent a poison as an antidote, Zero knew. If he were to drink too much, he would be overwhelmed with the powers of a Pureblood and his body, not knowing how to handle so much energy, would shut down_._

He sipped quietly as he felt the pulsing artery beneath his lips vibrate steadily, and let himself be immersed in the scent of rich, velvety blood as it quenched his mental thirst as well. The bloodthirst was not only a physical hunger for fresh blood, but a denial of treatment. His mind punished him for not feeding himself adequately. For the first time in at least two weeks, Zero began to feel calm enough to think properly.

Soon enough he felt a pat on his shoulder. The signal to stop.

Obediently, he pulled back from Kaname and hesitantly licked the blood from his lips. Kaname shoved a handkerchief in his direction, which he swiftly pressed against the wound.

This was the awkward silence again. Zero gingerly pulled the handkerchief away after a few seconds. The wound was already healed.

"Is that enough for now, Kiryuu-kun?" Kaname asked.

Zero nodded brusquely, handing him the bloodied handkerchief. Those stains were _not_ going to come out. Vampire blood had the nasty habit of not complying with human devices such as stain removers.

"You didn't come to the meeting before."

"No, I wasn't feeling well," he replied. It was a fairly passable excuse, with his bloodthirst and everything.

"Well, there was some rather important news you needed to hear."

"Hmm?"

Kaname stood carefully, and began to pace so slowly Zero had to watch a few times before he understood he was pacing.

"There was a letter from the Council about a coronation."

"A coronation... oh, _your_ coronation?"

"Yes. It's a essentially going to be a Banquet and Ball, with all Vampires invited to the Kuran Castle in precisely a week."

"A week...?"

Zero frowned. That was rather late news...

A Ball. He hated the idea of parties, and balls fitted into parties as the "POSH" parties. All the dancing, and mingling and... ugh, it wasn't his game. And the idea of meeting Vampires, probably hundreds of thousands of Vampires, all crammed in one place, was not appealing.

He may be a Vampire, but he was still a _Hunter_ too.

They would probably try to poke him with a stick for sport or something, he mused, the strange Hunter-Vampire hybrid. _Look at the face he makes. _Ugh.

No. He wouldn't go to a _ball _anyway - that suggested _dancing_, and that was enough to scare him off.

"Well, unfortunately I don't think I will be able to attend the coronation. My apologies Kuran-senpai."

During the War, Zero had learnt to set aside the greater part of his hate for Kaname. He realised that although he was a Pureblood, and a snob, he was still a rather good person. For this reason, he began to treat Kaname less of an enemy and more of a reluctant ally. Civility that was responded to in kind.

Kaname's expression... changed. He was _frowning_.

"You... won't be coming?" he asked uncertainly.

Zero blinked. "No, I won't. But I'm sure you'll have a wonderful time."

"Kiryuu-kun, this is a once-in-a-lifetime experience," Kaname said, possibly in a hurt tone, he wasn't sure, "I was hoping that you would see it as an opportunity to indulge in one of the better parts of Vampire culture."

"Such as?"

"Celebration. When there is such a big event as this, Vampires gather from all over the world to celebrate. It is a wondrous thing, and to be part of it... are you sure that you cannot come?"

Zero found himself wondering the same thing. _Once in a lifetime, huh?_

Even though it _would _be stuffed to the brim with Vampires, and he had dealt with enough Vampires for one lifetime... he _was _sort of one of them now. That wasn't going to change until he died. He had even worked alongside many vampires during the War and had to agree that some vampires were _okay_. Basically - he couldn't shun Vampires _forever. _They were a part of his life now.

And hadn't Kaname said that it would be held at a Castle...?

"Did you say...it's going to be held at a Castle?"

Kaname's face unexpectedly brightened, "Kuran Castle."

Ah. Zero had a hidden guilty pleasure of reading gothic novels and had somewhat a fascination in the novels about giant, haunted castles and acres of grounds that spanned through the great wilderness, the mysteries held within those ancient walls...

He couldn't help but be a little intrigued at the prospect of visiting a _real _Castle.

"Well, I suppose," he paused to settle an according reluctant scowl on his face, "I _could_ come to this thing then. If it's so important."

Kaname surprised him once more with a rather sweet smile.

"Good," he nodded and Zero bowed, "I will bid you goodnight then."

"Yeah, see you at class," Zero agreed, watching the Pureblood let himself out of the room.

Zero was no longer an official member of the Disciplinary Committee. Neither was Yuuki, for obvious reasons. Instead, Sayori and another trusted friend of Yuuki's Day Class group had taken their places. Zero sometimes watched them jealously, reminiscing in the days where the only duty he had was to protect the Humans from the secret of the Vampires. Now, the most they did was to protect the Night Class from being sexually harassed by a crowd of over-amorous Human-students.

The Day Class knew about the existence of the Vampires now. They had responded with varying degrees of acceptance. The majority had been alright with it, some even claiming that they knew something was "fishy" about the Night Class being so perfect and pretty (there were often mentionings of someone named Edward, and diamond skin...). The fangirl masses had gained some and lost some. Some of the children were pulled out of school as the news of Vampires spread to their parents, though their minds were quickly wiped of all knowledge of Kurosu Academy and the Vampires before they all left.

Sometime Zero worried about the fact that he was feeding from a Pureblood in a place filled with said Pureblood's followers. The scent of Pure blood was intoxicating, and hung in the air for a long time after. But then again, Kaname had never said anything about it. And if Kaname didn't worry about such a thing, he had to assume that everybody was pretty much okay with it. Of course, the others could always believe that it was Yuuki who was feeding from Kaname, and that was perfectly acceptable since they were family.

He sighed, lying back on his bed as his body began to radiate sweaty heat - he needed to rest to digest all the blood he had taken in.

Meanwhile, Kaname tried not to notice the feeling of the Bond unravelling between them, like a thin gossamer thread. It had a certain limit, since the bond was only one-sided, and by the time he had reached his room, he began to feel the uncomfortable strain of the distance the feeder would always feel until the Bond was completed.

They had only around seventy metres of corridor between them and the Bond was already at its straining point. And it even seemed to Kaname, if he truly paid attention, that with every feeding the Bond began to tighten.


	3. Brains Beats Brawn

The coronation was all the talk throughout the Night Class, and Zero was just about fed up about it by lunch time (Which was midnight. He still found the damn Vampire time patterns utterly confusing). The girls just wouldn't shut up about their dresses and the guys were all groaning about getting their ears talked off by them constantly, though they were making just as much noise themselves.

Zero sighed as he reckoned that the next few days leading up to the coronation would be hell.

He wasn't wrong.

The same meaningless chatter continued over the course of the next day.

It was only then that Zero realised that some of the conversations were actually about useful things.

_He_ certainly didn't have anything suitable to wear for something as formal as a coronation or a ball. He sighed to himself. Perhaps this ball was going to be more trouble than it was worth?

By the time his free period rolled by, he was sat at one of the tables in the common room, attempting to focus on some "free-radical substitution" nonsense for his chemistry homework. But every time he managed to get a piece of information in his head, he caught the sound of a giggle and lost it.

Finally he could take no more and stormed off to his room.

On the way he almost barrelled straight into Takuma.

"Ah, sorry Ichijou-senpai," he muttered, bowing quickly.

"Whoa! What's the rush Kiryuu-kun?" Takuma chuckled, steadying him. Shiki peered around his shoulder too curiously.

"Nothing to worry about," he answered shortly, attempting to side-step around them.

"Oh, from your face I'm sure you've heard about this coronation, right?" Takuma asked, grinning brightly, "Well I noticed you hadn't gone to the meeting, so I could tell you about it if you want-"

"Ah that's not necessary, Ichijou-senpai, but thank you. Kuran-senpai told me about it earlier."

"Oh, he did?"

Shiki tugged on Takuma's sleeve, and they seemed to share some sort of silent conversation, much to Zero's bemusement.

"You _are_ going to go, right?" Takuma asked for Shiki.

Zero shrugged, "Perhaps. I'm kind of... not so sure anymore."

"There isn't much time you know? You'd better come!" Takuma insisted, Shiki leaned around him to nod in agreement.

"I..." Zero frowned, thinking of a way to say it without sounding too girly. He couldn't think of one. "I have nothing to wear."

"Hmm? Is that all?" Takuma asked. Zero cursed under his breath. These bloody Vampires would never understand the difficulties of being financially challenged, did they?

"Takuma knows a really good rental tux company," Shiki suddenly said from over Takuma's shoulder, whilst sticking a chocolate stick in his mouth.

"Yes, I do! You can get good quality ones for a good price there," Takuma said, grin as bright as ever.

Zero twitched in annoyance.

He wondered what exactly a "good price" was for these rich people?

"That's really helpful, Ichijou-senpai," he smiled a little. Takuma looked so eager to help, that sometimes Zero couldn't help but smile back at him. He was, for lack of better adjectives, happy - _too_ happy maybe, but _always_ happy which surprised many. Sometimes Zero forgot he was a Vampire (not to say that Vampires weren't happy people, but they tended to be quite a lot more concerned with their appearances, so to appear so happy _all _the time wasn't _proper_).

"Well, I'll contact Kantou-san for you then, and perhaps...could I see you after lessons? I think he would prefer I send your measurements straightaway. We are running short on time!"

Zero frowned slightly. Measurements? Did rented tuxes require measurements? He had never had to rent one before, so he wouldn't know.

"You could come to my room later on, I guess."

"Alright! Well we have to get moving now, Kiryuu-kun. Afternoon classes are starting!"

With this, Takuma waved cheerily and dragged Shiki off to their next lesson.

Zero simply shook his head at his energy and slunk off to his next class: maths.

* * *

><p>Kaname often found himself the "odd one out". How could he not? He was the Prince, soon to be King, of the entire Vampire race, and so it was a given that anywhere he went he would stick out like a sore thumb.<p>

Some of the Night Class gasped as Seiren appeared out of seemingly thin air, directly beside the Pureblood and Aidou (who actually squeaked). She however was as calm as Kaname, and bowed to him.

"Kaname-sama," she said, her voice barely above a whisper, "The Headmaster is asking for you."

Kaname was excused from class, teleporting to the Headmaster's office directly with Seiren at his right elbow.

To his surprise he found not only the Headmaster there, but Yagari Touga and Rima too.

The Headmaster was untouched, but there was a whole other story to the other two. Yagari Touga had large rips in his already tattered clothing, some showing bare skin where the rips had gotten through his own flesh, leaving the pungent scent of Hunter blood hanging in the air.

Rima, worryingly enough, was leaning on the desk, possibly to support her wounded leg. Kaname could see she was favouring one leg over the other and her ankle was raised from the ground to relieve pressure on it. She also had many cuts on her arms and hands. Her fingertips looked singed. This was likely from the effects of overusing her powers.

Not only that, Kaname found, to his surprise, three Level E corpses on the floor, half-rolled in plastic bin bags. The fact that they were not dust already was quite alarming, but as Kaname prodded one with his shoe, he realised they were not dead but simply unconscious.

Most likely drugged.

Heavy tranquilisers sometimes managed to hold down Level E's for some time. The time period was always... varying. Kaname eyed them warily.

"Kaname," Kaien said, motioning for him to sit.

"Headmaster, what is this about?"

Kaien gestured to the bound Level Es, "As you can see we've recently had an attack."

After the War, they hadn't managed to round up all the Level Es that remained from Rido's forces. They lingered in the corners of society, like they always had, but in numbers far larger than Kaname could imagine or even wanted to consider. Since they were still such a threat, often the Nobles tended to go on patrols around the school to secure the grounds.

Still, it wasn't often that they were found by the Nobles.

The Nobles' own guards usually picked them off before they got to their masters.

But Rima was clearly there, which must mean that she had been the one who caught them. Most likely with the help of Yagari Touga.

"Three Level Es," Yagari grunted, "I caught the last two with her," he pointed at Rima, "And we cleared them up."

"Then why aren't they dust?"

Rima stepped forwards, "We couldn't kill them, Kaname-sama. We tried, but," she stifled a gasp of pain as she accidentally pressed on her ankle, "They were remarkably fast this time. And they are really strong. They also had the element of surprise."

"Always be alert," Yagari growled, turning to Kaname, "Usually works, but this time Kuran, we've noticed recently that they _are_ becoming more organised."

"Recently?" Kaname pressed. As far as he knew, Yagari operated at the Hunter Headquarters for the most part. His visits to the school were rare, and when he did he did so, it was for good reason (usually to visit his ex-pupil, Kiryuu, or to visit the Headmaster with news from the Association). For him to say "recently" meant that he must have been monitoring the Level E activity in the area for a while.

"I've asked Touga to monitor the perimeter . The Level E attacks are becoming more frequent, Kaname-kun," Kaien explained.

"And why was I not told about this?" Kaname asked. Why wasn't he informed about the Level E crisis, or Yagari? He hated the feeling of missing out on information. It was in his duty to be informed on everything. Sure, he had felt the increase of Level E auras, sometimes overwhelmingly close by, but when he had asked, Kaien has assured him that they were being dealt with efficiently. Now knowing that Yagari had been called in it was a clear indication that all was not under control.

"You've been busy," Kaien shrugged, looking rather apologetic. Kaname glared but conceded with a small nod to continue.

"As I was saying," Yagari drawled, "These idiots are getting smarter. I'm not sure why, but... do you remember in the War, what Zero was saying? That fire kid... Kain said it too."

He remembered. The Level Es, usually far too mad with bloodthirst to think clearly, were supposedly becoming more intelligent and organised, attacking Humans and Vampires alike in small units. They almost seemed to be planning ambushes at one point during the War, but Kaname and many others had dismissed it as a silly theory. The Level Es were known to be the bottom, the lowest of the low, of the Vampire hierarchy - those who lived in a poverty cycle of blood-famine. They hungered so desperately for blood that no other thought was held in their minds.

But sometimes Kaname _wondered._

He remembered during a patrol he himself went on, just before dispatching one of these groups of Level Es, he had noticed it too.

It wasn't easy to describe the expression on a Level E's face. It was purely disturbing. Their empty grins eager for blood, flashing fangs and eyes deranged. But as he had faced one of them, he had looked into their eyes, and for once he had seen something other than madness. Kaname had seen hate, anger and a _conscience_. The Level E was fully aware of who Kaname was, it seemed, and had goaded him to kill him with its soulless eyes.

"He said they are getting clever, like - fighting with plans in mind, getting into formations, using strategies," Yagari continued. "I don't like it. It means they're getting stronger too, harder to kill."

"So, you're saying that you couldn't _actually_ kill these?" Kaname gestured to the bodies.

"We could, if we had been prepared. As it was, _she_ wasn't even on patrol. The attack was a total surprise at first, and I only managed to come in at the last few moments. At this point she was pretty damn tired, I don't blame her. They're getting tougher to beat. Just what we need, these hoodlums are finally growing brains. It's gonna make them fucking _nuisances_," Yagari scowled.

"It proves the necessity of brains over brawns," Kaien chirped, in his usual way, trying to lighten the mood.

"So, the Level Es are getting stronger, and smarter, which is what we noticed during the War?" Rima asked.

Kaname nodded. He stood and went over to the bodies, kicking one again. They all flinched as the Level E shuddered.

"You know what this means?" he asked them.

"This shit ain't over yet," Yagari supplied.

"Correct. What we deduced from the War was that the Level Es were being possessed by Rido, and that they were becoming smarter and stronger. There was definitely some control which Rido had over them. How else would they come to learn how to attack successfully?

"And therefore, by this logic, and from the fact that the Level Es still appear to be somewhat intelligent, what might we deduce from that?" Kaname turned immediately to pin Kaien with his red eyes. He _knew_.

Kaien's expression was uncharacteristically grim, but Kaname could also see that he had already reached the same conclusion as he had.

"Rido must be back," Kaien answered.

Kaname nodded.

* * *

><p>"Rido must be back?" Aidou hissed. He was crouching by the Headmaster's door, right ear pressed against the wood.<p>

Kain stood beside his cousin, simply wondering why he put up with his sneaking and eavesdropping all the time. He was also wondering why Kaname hadn't kicked them out by now. No doubt the Pureblood knew they were there. Perhaps he was so used to Aidou's snooping around that he couldn't be bothered to discipline him anymore.

"Shush Hanabusa, you'll get us caught," he whispered in mock-fear. Aidou gave him the stink-eye. "I don't understand why you have to follow Kaname all the time. Don't you get bored following him everywhere?"

Aidou pouted. "Kaname-sama is not boring. Anyway, I need to know what was going on. I was worried there was something important Kaname was being told, and guess what? I was right!"

Kain had to admit, Aidou was right for once. This was huge news. Rido was back. Could the peaceful life they all thought had finally been won be lost once more? They hadn't even finalised the damn Peace treaty...

Aidou tugged on his sleeve.

He looked down to see his cousin peeking up at him with his wide blue eyes.

"Akatsuki, _Rido's back_. He's back," Aidou whined.

Kain supposed he had reason to whine this time. Aidou had faced Rido before in a fight.

A fight with a Pureblood usually ended in death.

Aidou shivered, "What are we going to do?"

Kain knelt down next to him, a small smirk on his face, "Don't worry Hana-chan, your dear cousin is here to protect you."

Aidou's face bloomed bright red as he leapt to his feet, an indignant expression spreading, "Shut up, Kat! You jerk!" he snapped, striding down the corridor. He had completely forgotten about their "quiet" mission, requiring them to be _quiet_, of course.

Kain shook his head as his overactive, childish cousin flew down the corridor in endless bounds of energy. Although Aidou was sometimes wiser than any of them and had a genius level IQ, he could never be taken seriously because of his odd mannerisms.

However, he supposed he was one of the rare "happy" ones in their group, who in turn kept them all relatively amused. He _was _very amusing in his childishness.

He would hate to see him return to being as lost and frightened as he had been after fighting Rido. Kain could scarcely imagine what it must be like to fight a Pureblood as powerful and ruthless as Rido. Aidou had been found almost unresponsive after his meeting with Rido, his own fingers encased in bloodied ice from overuse of his powers, and his eyes empty, as though he had already accepted death.

It was a huge surprise when Kiryuu had leapt over them and led Rido further away off the battlefield.

Kain never wanted to see his cousin like that again.


	4. The Journey PART 1

**Author's Note:**

**This chapter is a little bit long-winded, and I'm not sure if it's necessary or not. I always wonder why they don't tend to put in the travelling arrangements part of stories. Maybe because it might be boring, but at some point I must have thought this was relevant.**

**If it bores you too much, tell me. I won't include chapters like this again.**

**FILLERS. _That's _what they call them. I just remembered. Well this is _sort _of filler-ish, but it has details I thought were important.**

**Thanks for reading,**

**puui x**

* * *

><p>The Night Class were chatting ever louder and more excitedly by the minute about the next day, when many of them would be returning to their families to go to the Castle all together.<p>

This was something Zero had _not _taken into account. How the hell was _he_ getting to this castle?

Where was the Castle anyway?

All he had managed to overhear from the excited Vampires was that the Castle's location was "known by the Elders".

At the end of the day he waited in his room for Takuma. He clearly didn't have any "Elders" who knew the location of the Castle.

He let Takuma in after the first knock. The blonde had a tape measure and notebook at hand and a wide grin on his face.

"Alright, now this is Aidou's tape measure. I promised him I wouldn't fray it. He said you have to stand like this - like a scarecrow, arms out - okay -"

"Ichijou-san, senpai-"

"Yes?"

"There's a problem," Zero began. "It's about me going to this thing. I don't think that's possible anymore."

Takuma's smile dropped, "Eh? But we've got this tux sorted out, there's no problem-"

"No, that's not it. I don't have any way of getting there."

"...I totally forgot about that!"

Zero nodded, beginning to roll the measuring tape up carefully. "Yes. It's not a problem, don't worry about it senp-"

"No! No, _you _shouldn't worry about this. It was totally idiotic of me to forget something like this. Don't worry, Kiryuu-kun, we'll figure something out. Let's see… have you asked anyone if you could tag along with them?"

Was Takuma joking? Sure, Zero got on reasonably okay with the Vampires now, but he wasn't exactly _buddies _with anyone enough to ask that of them.

"You should, just in case they can help you. But if not, hmm… most of us (he assumed he was referring to Kaname's Inner Circle) are travelling together. We already know the way there. So as far as I know, Ruka is meeting up with her family. Rima is accompanying Yuuki to the Castle the day after tomorrow. Um… I _think_ Kain said something about taking a plane with Aidou -"

A _plane_? How far away was this bloody Castle?

"-and Shiki and I are going by train. I doubt you can go with Ruka. Her family isn't one that would like to take aboard extras - they're stingy, don't tell her I said that. Rima and Yuuki can't have anyone else with them, two's enough by themselves -"

What did he _mean_ by that? Why wasn't any of this making sense!

"-Kain and Aidou… well I think you should definitely ask them about it. I mean, there's a chance you could get a last-minute ticket on the same plane. Probably wouldn't be first-class though. Unfortunately you can't come with me and Shiki - the train was practically full when we booked."

Takuma had manhandled Zero into the scarecrow position while saying all of this and smiled apologetically at him.

"You should go around tomorrow really early and ask around. If by lunchtime you haven't got anyone, come straight to me. Okay?"

"Why do you want me to come?" Zero groaned, "I don't even like formal things like this very much, and all I wanted to see was the Castle. It doesn't matter, really, Ichijou-senpai, if I don't come,"

Zero watched the blonde as he furrowed his brow in concentration as he measured the circumference of his ribs, and then under his armpits. Thankfully he wasn't too ticklish there. Takuma looked every bit determined to make him go to this ceremony. But he just couldn't understand why he was.

Takuma sighed, scribbling down the last measurements. He stood up to stare down seriously, for once, at Zero.

"It does matter, Kiryuu-kun. It would be really good for you to come," he went to take a seat on Zero's bed, "You have only ever seen the _bad_ parts of the Vampire world. From that, your view on being a Vampire has always been that it's _bad._ You don't know the whole story.

"Being a Vampire isn't a bad thing. We're a species, not an abomination. You _must_ come to terms with that, Kiryuu-kun, because you're one of us now. Denial isn't going to help you anymore.

"The best way I can think of to do that is by experiencing something completely _wonderful._ Some people have said that when they first saw Kuran Castle, they could only see the light in the world for days afterwards, dazzled by its beauty. And ceremonies as big as this are just as _awe-inspiring,_ Kiryuu-kun! You have never been to a Vampire Ball," his grin turned even brighter, "But let me tell you, Vampires _love_ to party. We go all out, and it's not a thing to miss."

Takuma began to gather his things, signalling the end of conversation.

Zero was meanwhile still dumbfounded by him. His reasoning did make sense, and in a way, Zero actually did want to go see this thing. Maybe it could change his life. Maybe he would be so blown away by the whole spectacle that he could finally -

-finally accept that this was it - he was a vampire. He was one of them.

Just as Takuma reached the door, Zero stopped him.

"So… I should find people to go with then?"

Takuma nodded at him, smiling once again, "You should hurry Kiryuu-kun, good luck."

Next day, the majority of the students were meeting with their parents or family members in the morning and leaving school. Zero did as Takuma had said: he hurried.

He went around all the breakfast tables, frustration mounting as each time he was totally ignored, rejected or scoffed at. What was with these damn Vampires?

By first period - literature - Zero had given up . It seemed that all his determination had been sucked out of him. It was late into the morning and he didn't see any chance with any of the other Vampires. That meant he would have to go ask Them.

Oh hell. Kain and Aidou.

Would he really have to-?

Out of all of the Vampires, why, oh why, did it have to be Them?

He and Aidou had never really seen eye-to-eye.

In fact, Aidou annoyed the hell out of Zero, with his Pureblood-worshipping, Kaname-stalking nonsense and his childish behaviour. During the War he had threatened Aidou plenty of times that he was going to chain him up in Vampire Hunter shackles he would never be able to come out of, and likewise, Aidou had threatened to turn him into a popsicle.

Kain, well, he was just always around Aidou, so he came under the same label. Zero only found him annoying because he had _no _control over that cousin of his, and pretty much let him bother the world without any restrictions.

_But_, if he really wanted to go to this coronation thing, then he would _have_ to ask Them.

He'd already decided he was going, and now there was a crisp (practically new) reasonably priced rented tux hanging in his wardrobe, waiting to be used, he would have to do it.

He knocked on their door twice.

Kain opened the door, eating an apple. As he saw who it was, his eyebrows raised, but he stepped aside to let him in. His cousin was lounging on his bed, a magazine dangling upside down from his fingers. He too glanced up and raised an eyebrow. Zero sighed, but bowed in customary Japanese greeting, it would help to be polite to these two.

"Good morning, Kain-san, Aidou-san," he greeted in an even voice, _Good _Night_ more like_, he thought to himself.

"Kiryuu-kun," Aidou crooned from upside down, rolling onto his belly to smirk at the silver-haired teen as though he were a toy to be poked at. "What brings you here?"

"I have a favour to ask."

"A _favour_?" Aidou raised his other eyebrow. Zero sighed again. "Do tell-"

"Cut the crap, Aidou," Zero snapped. His frustration loosed his temper. "I don't have a way to get to the coronation. I haven't made any travel arrangements. Well, I would first have to actually know _where_ the bloody Castle _is_ to make those arrangements, but unfortunately I don't. I've been trying to ask everyone for help, but they won't listen. So you're my _absolutely __**last**_ resort, and I _hate _having to ask you, but will you let me travel with you? I will pay for myself, don't worry about that."

Aidou flicked over a page, humming thoughtfully. Zero clenched his teeth.

"Oi, are you even list-"

"We would," Aidou said, startling both Zero and Kain. Kain even had something akin to pride in his eyes at his cousin's uncharacteristic generosity. "But we can't."

"We can't?" Kain asked.

"You could've just said so," Zero grumbled, turning away.

"No, listen Kiryuu-kun, we can't because the plane is booked full now. A lot of the other families have booked seats. It's just not possible."

"Alright then, I get it. _T__hanks_ I guess," Zero opened the door.

"Oi I'm not done talking with you yet!"

"Speak, then! I have other people to beg," Zero snapped.

"You better try hard to get someone to say yes. I heard Kaname-sama invited you himself, so you'd better be grateful about it," Aidou snapped right back.

Zero rolled his eyes, "Yeah, yeah, stop wasting my time!"

He slammed the door shut, storming down the corridor and glaring at his feet. It wasn't fair.

Trust Aidou to say something like that. But it was just typical. He was just getting into the idea of going to this coronation, and then he can't actually get there, what the hell-

"Fuck!"

He somehow found himself sprawled on the floor, his nose throbbing upon collision with - with something-

Looking up, he saw Kaname, barely ruffled at their collision. The Pureblood kindly offered his hand. Zero ignored it angrily, standing up and brushing himself off.

He brushed past Kaname and stormed off towards Takuma's room. Screw the fact that it wasn't even lunch yet. There was no chance he was going at this rate.

He opened the door without knocking, finding Takuma sprawled over his desk, half-asleep. Shiki was sat on his bed staring at the ceiling in some sort of daydream.

"Ichijou-senpai."

Takuma forced himself upright, "Huh?"

"What… what happened to _you_?"

The desk was swamped with note cards, and Takuma was still gripping a pen in his half-asleep state.

"He's been preparing a speech for the Ball," Shiki drawled, sighing deeply, "For _hours_."

"Ah," Takuma laughed, "I've probably been boring you to death, Senri! Sorry-"

"Look, senpai, I've given up. Aidou said no, everyone said no," Zero cut in, "Thanks for everything, but I'll return the suit."

Takuma laughed again, "It's all sorted, Kiryuu-kun. I've talked to Kaname and he says you can travel with him. Technically, he should travel alone, but desperate times call for desperate measures."

Zero could only gape at him incredulously, which spurred on extra giggles from the blonde.

"Fucking…"

To think he'd worried for nothing…

Zero cursed to hell the invention of lousy, quiet alarm clocks. He crammed a slice of badly burnt toast into his mouth and grabbed his old-fashioned wooden suitcase, cursing at its troublesome squeaky handle, and then carefully draped the rented tux over his free arm. Once he was fully loaded with all his luggage, he dashed out of the Moon Dorms, sprinting for the gate.

_Six fifty-eight, I don't believe it_, he thought, pushing himself even faster. He only hoped Kaname hadn't been joking when he had offered him a ride.

But sure enough, he eventually spotted the King-to-be leaning against the gate bars. But behind him was _not _a "car" as Takuma had called it. It was a freaking _limo_.

"Good morning Kiryuu-kun," Kaname said pleasantly, taking his suitcase from him before he could stop him. He glanced at the burnt toast clenched between his teeth, "I see I've rushed you for breakfast."

They slid into the sleek limo, Zero muttering cynical jibes into his toast.

"Would you like a drink?"

"At seven in the morning?"

Kaname smirked, "I meant, peach iced tea. Yuuki made some before she left."

Zero accepted a glass of rather thick looking iced tea. Despite its odd appearance, it was actually rather sweet and took away the bitter taste of burnt toast.

Zero glanced around the interior of the limo, it being his first time in one. It was fancy. He sighed as it began to move, so smoothly and quietly; a well-oiled machine.

He bit back a yawn.

"Tired, Kiryuu-kun?" Kaname - was he smirking?

Zero scowled, "I hate your damn Vampire times. I stay up all night, what you call _day_, and have to wake up to morning, when I'm just getting used to going to sleep!"

To his surprise, Kaname laughed lightly, a faint, fragile sound which shook as though he was not used to it. He watched Kaname's face transform from breathtakingly handsome to ethereal in one split second.

To his horror, he blushed, "Shut up!"

"You could sleep on the way there, you know. It's a long drive," Kaname replied, straightening his face again.

"How long?"

"It'll take the whole day, we'll arrive late in the evening."

Zero's eye twitched.

"I don't get it. Where is this Castle for everyone to be given three days to get there? Some people are going by plane, by train - where is it?"

"The Castle is in a hidden location. Not many know the way, which is why the students have been given time to join with their families, so they can be taken there by their Elders. Kain, Aidou and the others are going in various ways because they are going by the routes that _they_ remember. We decided to give everyone ample time because some of the routes they can take to the Castle require more time than others."

It made sense, and Zero yawned again. Kaname grinned briefly.

"Get some sleep, Kiryuu-kun, you have plenty of time."

Nodding, Zero closed his eyes. The plush seating meant it wasn't very difficult to find a comfortable position and he drifted off in seconds.


	5. The Journey PART 2

"Why does it take so long to get some water? Is it that hard?"

Kain sighed. They were just into the second hour of their plane journey. Aidou had already complained about everything once. This was the second round of it.

And they had three more hours of flying to do.

He sighed again.

If he hadn't known Aidou for practically all his life, he would have been reduced to crying puddle of boredom by now. Since he _did _know Aidou pretty well, he had much more stamina.

_Now_ he was only stabbing himself repeatedly in the thigh with one of the flimsy plastic forks they gave with the meal (not even First Class on this plane had proper silverware - which Aidou had complained about) to try to distract the pain in his head with the pain in his leg instead.

"You should've asked for water when the trolley came by," he said through clenched teeth.

"Well I didn't need it then. They should write on these packets of nuts that they are not _"coated"_ in salt but _swimming_ in salt. It's just disgusting-"

Kain rolled his eyes but kept quiet. He knew that if he were to argue with Aidou when he was _already_ cranky (from no sleep - Aidou couldn't sleep in moving vehicles due to the noise), well, then he would not only lose his hearing, but his sanity.

Sometimes Kain asked himself why he put up with someone like Aidou.

They were cousins, but even then, their families were related by marriage, not blood. In terms of Vampire customs, he had no real obligation to Aidou, unless he was in financial distress. He hadn't been _told_ to be friends with Aidou. He could barely remember his first meeting with Aidou. His mother always told him stories about how he had been taken to greet the new baby Aidou when he was just one year old, and how they had made fast friends in a sand pit.

Since their first meeting, the friendship just seemed to emerge when the grainy sand-bombs in his pockets were stolen in baby-Aidou's hands. He had to wait for baby Aidou to crawl and walk before he could play with him for real, but he had taken this theft as a sign of great potential in mischief, and after waiting for Aidou to grow some more, they played their childhood away together.

"Finally! This _is_ water from a bottle, right? I won't drink water from a tap-"

Kain watched Aidou as he whined at the steward, the way he was ranting almost joyfully and the little sparkle in his eye told Kain that he was enjoying it. Aidou loved to annoy people to tears when he was supremely bored. It was, as he called it, "Hana-chan's sadistic streak".

He ripped open the plastic-wrapped blanket and began to tuck it around himself carefully.

"I'm going to sleep, Aidou."

"-it will _have_ to be boiled if - what? No! Don't you _dare_, Kat! You promised. You promised you'll always stay awake with me."

Kain groaned loudly, rolling his head to stare woefully up at Aidou from his shoulder.

"Hana-chan, you have _insomnia_. And there are three more hours on this plane. And I'm driving us from the airport. And the drive takes another two hours, damn it!" he growled.

Aidou pouted, "You _promised_."

Yes, yes, Aidou was right. Kain had promised many things to Aidou, during childhood, and he had been forced to keep every promise, or else be nagged about them for the rest of his life.

There were several promises he had made which he was being held to at the moment. For example:

I will stay awake with Aidou on moving vehicles, no matter the length of the journey.

I will accompany Aidou on moving vehicles.

The second promise, he had made himself, to himself. It was also a promise to always watch out for Aidou on trips, and make sure he was (reasonably) happy and comfortable (to a degree).

It was spurred by one of the many memorable childhood events they had shared.

One year, Aidou and Kain's parents had organised to have a holiday abroad together. Kain and Aidou were as thrilled as four and five-year-olds could be (that is - they didn't know where they were going, why they were going there, or what a "holiday" was, because for four and five-year-olds, _every_ day was practically a holiday. Even if they didn't know it).

But then, the two of them had a massive row. He actually _could_ remember what it had been about, surprisingly enough. Aidou had been whining (surprise, surprise) about how cold it was in the airport, and that he was sleepy, and that he didn't want to go on the "holiday". Kain had gotten fed up of his cousin's whining (not yet having the stamina to withstand it) and had yelled insults at Aidou.

The four-year-old had thrown a tantrum, and somehow, with the parents scolding a five-year-old Kain for provoking the obviously sweet and innocent Aidou, he managed to slip past them without being noticed.

Everyone had been frantic. The child was nowhere to be found.

For hours they had searched for him, fearing that he had been kidnapped.

They eventually found him in a janitor's closet, curled up, in a bucket (Aidou nowadays refused to believe he would ever do such a thing) asleep. He was cold and shivering, and later had gotten a high fever. They missed the plane and the holiday too.

From then on, Kain blamed himself for it, and his guilt forced him to look out for Aidou whenever they travelled.

Nowadays, Kain understood that it hadn't been his fault, but force of habit made him continue to look out for Aidou. It had almost become a duty.

Sighing ever more heavily, felt Aidou shaking him from his tired musings.

"Oi, oi you aren't allowed to sleep, Kat-chan!"

"I know, I know already. Don't blame me if we crash and die on the road."

"Whatever. I was telling you about that steward. God, wasn't he rude? He totally ignored-"

Kain took a deep breath in and let it out hissing through his teeth to calm his patience the hell down.

He grabbed the plastic fork with more fury. Distract pain with pain. Don't hit your cousin, he doesn't even know he's being annoying.

_Stab stab stab stab stab- SNAP! Oh, OUCH- what the fuck-_

"-and he looked at me like- whoa. I smell blood. What the fuck, Kat? You're bleeding-"

* * *

><p>One of the reasons why Takuma and Shiki always chose to travel by train was because it was slower so they could enjoy the scenery at a better pace, and both of them had been obsessed with trains since very young. Also, they could save travelling costs and spend it more on comfortable hotels (although this time they wouldn't have to, they had been invited to stay at the castle) and nice food.<p>

Right now they had reached the station. Shiki had gone off to find a place to eat while Takuma was checking up on why the taxi they had arranged to meet them hadn't arrived yet.

"…yeah, yes alright. In twenty minutes… I see, it's no trouble at all. We're going to get something to eat right now anyway… alright then. See you,"

"Taku, I found a café. It looks good. It sells breakfast all day-"

"We eat _dinner_ at this time, Senri," Takuma said, glancing around carefully at all the humans, "In the _evening_, don't we?"

Shiki nodded, "Yeah, sorry. It's just so _weird_."

They went over to the café, Takuma slid their suitcases under the table and Shiki ordered for them both.

"He said he will be arriving in twenty minutes, so don't take too long eating, Senri."

"Okay."

As they were handed their meals and had begun to eat, Takuma smiled and said cheerily, "Didn't you like the ride? I really liked going through that forest. We should go back by train too, Sen."

But Shiki wasn't paying attention to Takuma anymore.

In fact, he had stopped eating too, which was quite alarming. Takuma dropped his smile.

"Senri? Is something wrong?"

Shiki's expression - Takuma didn't like it. He looked frightened, and seemed to be frozen in time. He patted Shiki on the arm, which shook him from his trance.

The redhead gasped, as though he had been cut off from air during the trance (which he might have been, he might have been holding his breath). His chopsticks clattered on the table and he gripped Takuma's arm back.

"Senri? What's wr-"

Then Takuma felt something. It could've been a breeze, but he didn't feel any movement of wind on his skin. But he felt a shiver, like a ripple on water's surface, moving through his body. He was frozen. The air in the room suddenly felt cold and… prickly, like it the particles of air were needles, piercing through his skin and stabbing inside him with every icy breath of air he took.

Takuma held his breath.

It could have been hours.

But eventually the coldness passed and Takuma could move and breathe again. This time Shiki was shaking him to get his attention.

"Takuma. Takuma, we have to leave, we have to-"

"What _was_ that? Did you feel that Senri? That cold-"

Shiki nodded furiously, squeezing his arm urgently.

"That's why we have to go _now_, to warn them. We have to get to the Castle first,"

Shiki didn't wait to convince Takuma, but dragged him from their seats - food forgotten, suitcases forgotten. He began to lead them from the café, building speed with every lengthening, quickening stride.

"Where are we - what just _happened_ Senri!"

"I saw him."

"Saw who?"

Shiki just shook his head. Takuma noticed how wide his eyes were, how tightly he was gripping his arm, and the pale, nervous expression on his face. Shiki was terrified. He simply replied with,

"We have to warn them."

And they were off.

* * *

><p>Kaname frowned. Again. Zero rolled his eyes.<p>

"I'm _really_ not hungry. Thanks for the offer, but when I eat, I eat. And I eat a _lot_. But I can go for days without eating sometimes," he insisted.

Kaname smirked, "So you're like a snake?"

Zero smiled a little, sipping his drink.

He could barely remember the ride in the limo - since he had been solidly asleep for most of the time. They were now sitting in one of Kaname's _private jets_ waiting for lift-off.

Zero had never been in a plane before either. He was again, mightily impressed _and_ pissed off by the grandeur he found inside. Kuran rose logos were found printed along the borders of the _wallpapered _interior, with plush carpet under the seats (he could appreciate, since he had taken off his shoes and socks) and fully adjustable plush seats.

And serve-yourself drinks coolers between the seats.

Jesus. He rolled the glass between his fingers thoughtfully. The rich sure lived the good life.

"So, how long's this flight then?" he asked.

"Approximately an hour."

An hour? That wasn't very long. Maybe they had travelled much further by limo than he had thought. He still didn't understand why they had to fly instead of just going on the road. Perhaps the Castle was isolated, off the mainland like Kurosu Academy, like an island where you could only access it by air.

But that wouldn't make sense. How would Takuma and Shiki be getting there by train then?

It was as if everyone was taking a useless winding route to the Kuran Castle. Maybe it was a way of keeping the location "hidden" for whatever reason, but going by strange routes.

"You can sleep again if you're tired."

Zero scowled, "I've slept enough. Tell me, is the coronation happening at daytime or night time?"

"It's happening in two days at night time - the _Vampire _daytime," Kaname smirked. "The invitation dinner is happening tomorrow night, for just us and my close friends."

Another dinner? Zero groaned.

"I've been meaning to ask, Kiryuu-kun, how are you adjusting to Vampire life?" _'Since you _finally_ chose to live with us _vampires_ in the Moon Dorms'_ was what remained unsaid, but they could both hear it. It was one of the main arguments that coloured their life - "them" being him, Kaien and Kaname.

Zero shrugged, "I dunno. Would you really call it 'living'?"

"Pardon?" Kaname looked shocked.

"Well, Vampires are dead, aren't they?"

Kaname froze, and then burst into louder laughter than last time, though it was still shaky. Zero was beginning to like hearing Kaname laugh. It was much better than being faced with his stoicism from before for sure.

"What?" he snapped, mock-angrily.

"You think that Vampires are dead?" Kaname chuckled. "We aren't dead, or _un_-dead, or any type of dead!" he paused to take breath, his cheeks flushing attractively, "We Vampires are very much _alive_."

Zero sipped his drink slowly, gesturing for Kaname to explain.

"Look, those myths that Vampires are un-dead or living dead are total rubbish. See it this way, Kiryuu-kun, can you kill a Vampire?"

Zero nodded, "Yup."

"If a vampire can be killed, mustn't they first be _alive_? It's impossible for a Vampire to be killed if they're already _dead,"_

It was Zero's turn to flush. "I see your point."

Kaname placed a hand on the left side of his chest solemnly. Zero blinked in confusion.

"Are you… _swearing_ on your heart or something? I'll believe you," Zero finally asked after a few moments.

"No, I was just checking for my heartbeat," Kaname smiled.

Zero stared.

Sometimes this vampire just plain baffled him.

"What?"

"Yes, it's there. Kiryuu-kun, the best way to check if a Vampire is alive is to see if their heart is beating, like this," he stretched out his wrist and grabbed Zero's hand, pressing two of his fingers to his pulse, "See? As long as my heart is beating, I must be alive."

Zero felt the steady, strong heartbeat and nodded, releasing Kaname's wrist.

"I believe you. So then it's total bollocks to believe that stuff about you Purebloods being immortal right? I should stop listening to other people…"

To Zero's surprise, Kaname drew back and stopped smiling. He felt the mood dampen slightly as Kaname heaved a sigh.

"Well…"

Zero watched him pour another glass of water slowly.

"…those rumours are only made around the well-known fact that Purebloods live for an incredibly long time."

"How long?"

"Centuries," Kaname took a sip, "Some have even been said to live for millennia. The Class of a Vampire determines its life expectancy. Many Nobles also live incredibly long."

Zero nodded, "So Purebloods aren't immortal,"

"In a sense, we are. We cannot die from wounds, unless from another of our kind. Some have claimed to have lived forever."

Kaname drifted off, his face solemn. Zero could only sympathise. He liked to believe that he was not as naïve or foolish as others who wished for endless life. An immortal life was surely a lonely one.

Suddenly one of the members of staff came to them to tell them that they were about to lift off.

Zero was instantly reminded of the fact that he had never flown before.

He tried to act nonchalantly, following Kaname's lead of clipping on his seatbelt, only it was a different design from what he had seen on the movies. Where was the lever thing? Why wasn't it fitting in? Zero tugged at the metal clasp, even though it clearly didn't open-

"Let me," Kaname said, reaching over and clipping it in, _the other way_. Zero could've slapped himself. "These new belt models are sturdier, but they're a pain. Have you flown before, Kiryuu-kun?"

"That obvious, huh?" he drawled.

"Take one of these," Kaname said, opening a bag of hard boiled candies.

Zero raised an eyebrow, "What for?"

"To suck on. The change in pressures will cause some pain in your ears. You aren't used to it, but these may relieve some pain."

He took a sweet, popping it on his tongue.

It tasted less sweet than other candies, more creamy, and flavoured with... what was the fruit? Strawberries, mango, melon…

As he rolled it in his mouth, the plane began to move down the runway. The triangular shape reminded him of these unusual shaped sweets he would have as a child, where he got them from this little sweet shop, what was it called…

The engines were picking up, the noise increasing and a rumbling beneath his feet telling him that they were building speed.

"This sweet is good," Zero told Kaname, although it sounded more like "_Zith thwee ith goo_."

Kaname nodded, "These are my favourite too, they're called 'Summer Fruits'."

_Summer Fruits_… yes, Zero was sure these were the sweets he had bought. The same triangular shape and myriad of tangy flavours. He could just about see a blurry image of the young couple who ran the shop. It had been a small shop. Most definitely not a franchise. What was it called…

"I used to get sweets like this," Zero said.

"Hmm, I found these at a small shop on the way back from a meeting last year. I now order some every month from them. They're very unique."

"Yeah, no bad aftertaste."

Zero was desperately trying to concentrate on remembering the name of the shop, but he couldn't ignore the feeling that he wasn't going to enjoy flying at all - and they hadn't even lifted off the ground.

The noise was deafening, and the rumbling vibrations were now causing him to shake (or was he trembling in fear?). He knew deep inside, that he was quite safe in this _flying tin can_, but somehow there were disturbing questions running through his mind. How can something this size _fly_? Would they even survive take-off?

"Are you alright? You're shaking."

He turned to see Kaname's concerned face. He began to concentrate on his face. It was quite a surprise to see that Kaname's stoic default expression could morph into so many expressions that he had seen on the trip so far -

The engines were screaming. They weren't going to make it. Theywerentgoingtomake it -

"WHOAAAA!"

He was being thrown back in his seat, plastered flat against it. Tipping his head to the side, he could see out of the window, the slanted ground. The nose was tipping up.

"Close the window," Kaname said calmly from beside him, although he reached across to close it himself, "The clouds will be very bright."

"Senpai! Can we get off- WHOAAA!"

The pressure was mounting. Not only was he pressed so far in his seat that he could barely breathe; his stomach was being pushed down down down to the floor-

"Relax, Kiryuu, suck on the sweet. Look at me, look at me."

He forced himself to look at Kaname, fingers clenching the armrest. Kaname held his hand comfortingly, his face calm and concerned. Zero didn't like his concerned face. It made him feel inferior -

Suddenly his ears began to ache. It wasn't a normal ache, like a bruise or headache. His ears felt like they were being tugged at the sides, and his temples began to blossom with pain.

"Is the sweet helping? If it isn't, you should do this," Kaname pinched his nose and blew his cheeks out, making such a ridiculous face that Zero wanted to laugh.

He copied him, wincing as his ears went POP and he was left with the feeling that this awful pain was going to repeat several times.

"Keep sucking the sweet, Kiryuu-kun."

He nodded, blinking back the sudden bright light. It was clear that they were going higher in the air, closer to the bright sun.

And then they reached their target altitude.

And the plane began to level off, tipping them upwards. His stomach flew up to his throat and then settled once again in its rightful place. Zero sighed in relief.

"Don't stop sucking the sweet. Or else your ears will continue to ache. You have to get used to the pressure change."

Zero nodded. It was only now that he realised he had closed his eyes in relief too. As he opened his eyes to look at Kaname gratefully, his eyes fell on one of the air stewardesses, down in the aisle. She was giggling at him. He blushed.

He glanced over at Kaname, hoping he hadn't seen her. But he had. And he seemed to be glaring at her.

She realised this pretty quickly (it was hard to ignore a glaring Pureblood) and blushed brightly, lowering her head apologetically. Zero found this somewhat _more_ embarrassing, but looked at Kaname thankfully all the same.

"I like these sweets," he said quietly.

Kaname handed him another one.


	6. The Journey PART 3

They were running. They were running so fast that the world was a dizzying blur. Takuma could only feel the tug of foliage catching on their clothing, ripping through his favourite jumper, the wet stream of wind tears down his numb cheeks.

Every now and again they would glance backwards, scanning the trees for him, for-

"Ugh!"

His foot caught on a root, pain erupting from his ankle as he tumbled to a stop.

Shiki immediately stopped beside him, tugging on his arm to help him up. But as soon as he put his foot down on the ground he groaned in pain and his knee buckled to the floor.

"I'm sorry Sen, we have to stop. I think I've sprained my ankle."

"We can't stop! Come on Taku, I'll help you. We'll go slower, come on."

Shiki looped one of his arms around Takuma's waist, but after a few yards he began to droop. Takuma's taller frame was dragging down on him, and they were already exhausted.

How long had they been running for?

Shiki slumped to the ground beside Takuma, his wary eyes still scanning the forest. He hadn't let his guard down for a second. Already his concentration was beginning to waver.

During the War, he would've been able to keep his concentration for far longer, but he was no longer in that kind of mindset.

"Takuma, I don't feel safe like this," the trees seemed to be closing in around them, and it was getting darker as they went further into the trees, the denseness blocking out the sunlight. "But we'll have to rest."

Takuma nodded, "Sorry," he winced. As he poked his ankle he realised that it was swelling rapidly. Just as Vampires healed quickly, the rest of their body worked quickly, and he could see that they would be resting for some time if he didn't get treatment soon.

Either that or they would have to hobble agonizingly slowly.

Why did he have to trip?

There was a sudden whiff of blood in the air which startled Takuma. He rarely drank blood anymore, thanks to the tablets, so he had forgotten how sweet the scent was…

"Here, drink Taku, you have to heal and get strong. We can't wait here like this," Shiki said, pushing his wrist to Takuma's face, offering his sweet blood to him.

Takuma closed his mouth over the wound quickly, careful to avoid contact with his fangs, he drank deeply and quickly. What if _he_ caught this scent? He probably already had and was coming for them. Oh god, oh god, oh god…

It was only a year after the War, but funnily enough, amongst the peace, Takuma had forgotten what it was like to be scared.

"Enough," Shiki gasped, pulling his wrist away so he could lick it clean. "Do you feel better?"

In such short time? He had barely had time to digest any of the blood. But the urgency in Shiki's face told him he should say yes.

"Let's go," Takuma nodded, staggering to his feet. He still felt like his leg was going to collapse, but leaning heavily on Shiki's shoulders, they began to hobble again.

Hobble, hobble, he could have laughed at how pathetically slow they were moving.

They were such easy bait.

It was almost as if they were begging to be caught.

And finally, they were.

Before he could see him, before he could smell him, he was there.

In a split second, he was separated from Shiki by a massive force. The hit was so hard, he though he had blacked out for a moment, until he saw _his_ face.

Just as handsome as Kaname's, but sinister, with his blue eye laughing and his red eye screaming.

Takuma bit back a scream as his ankle was grabbed roughly, trying with all his might to glance at Shiki, but he didn't even know where to look. And he couldn't tear his eyes from that terrible face.

For a moment, all that could be heard was their heavy breathing.

Then he spoke.

"Hmm, I thought I'd smelt some blood."

* * *

><p>"We aren't going to die, are we? You look really tired now-"<p>

"Shut up, and get in," Kain snapped, shoving the blonde in the car. He was finally losing a grip on his temper. Having had no sleep, no breaks from Aidou, and having had to cope with all the whining whining whining-

He drove quietly, fuming to himself and cursing his promises.

"Maybe we should rest before we drive, Kat. It's dangerous to drive when tired."

"The only way we die is if you keep talking. You shut up, we live."

Aidou pouted and crossed his arms, but remained quiet. Maybe he was actually worried they were going to crash. For _once_ he was listening to him.

They began to drive down the long road that ran through the forest surrounding the Castle from view. In the dark, they could still see perfectly clearly. He had, in truth, no problem with driving in his condition - even tired and bleary, and annoyed, and grumpy - he could still drive with hand one the wheel and one eye on the road.

Because he was an _awesome_ driver.

He really was.

And also, they had taken this route so many times as a child when going to stay at the Castle, that he barely had to concentrate on it. It was, as they say, like riding a bike - ingrained into his brain.

"Shit, it's raining," he groaned, glaring up at the sky. Why was this trip getting worse and worse? What had he done to deserve this torture?

The scent of rain was soothing, but also annoying - the cool scent of air mixed with water always freaked Kain out. He could imagine drowning in the wet air. Not being able to breathe. Aidou told him his fear of drowning was because he had had a drowning incident as a child. Hardly likely! He could imagine it was Aidou who had almost drowned and he had to jump in the water to save him, as always. And perhaps the fear of water filling his lungs as he dove deeper and deeper to get to that idiotic cousin of his had stuck in his mind.

Kain glanced at Aidou quickly, to check that he wasn't cooking up some mischievous plan at a time like this. He _might_ just kill him if he did. Kain's mood had plummeted ever since Aidou had vomited into _his _sick-bag seconds after the plane had landed (I mean, what the _hell_?).

Aidou was looking remarkably well-behaved and calm, though he rubbed his eyes every now again and stifled yawns per second.

Nodding at this display of unusual maturity, Kain turned his attention back onto the road.

"Kat!"

Kain yelled, jumping in his seat. The car bolted forwards a few metres as he stomped on the gas by accident.

Aidou hadn't only broken the silence, he had yanked on his sleeve and yelled in his ear.

Oh, _now_ he was _**so**_ getting it…

"I told you we'd die, but now I think only _you_ will!" he snarled, reaching to trap his cousin in a firm headlock. Aidou dodged his lunge and forced his arms still. Kain calmed down marginally - enough to recognise the lack of humour in Aidou's eyes and his confused expression. "What? What is it, you hellion?"

"Kat, I smell blood," Aidou said, eyes widening.

Aidou's nose had always been more sensitive than Kain's, an admirably acute sense of smell that they had often used during the War to scan for poison tainted blood.

So Kain stopped the car and rolled down the window - two things you usually shouldn't do on an empty road at night time. The rain splashed on his face as he leant his head out. He took a sniff too.

There _was_ the faint metallic tang of blood in the air. He marvelled at Aidou's nose.

"It's nothing. Probably just an injured animal," he remarked, reaching to turn on the engine again.

"No, it's not! _Smell it_. That's not animal blood."

The difference between Human and animal blood was quite distinct actually. Animal's bloods tended to smell similar to all of their species, with the only changing factor tending to be the inflections on their diet (if they were carnivorous they had a heavier scent, or if they were herbivorous they had grassy, starchy flavours).

Whereas Human blood smelt unlike any animals in its sweetness. It was a fainter, more delicate scent, which was the major attraction for many of the lower Vampires. But to the higher classed Vampires, they found the scent bland and common, like the smell of any animal blood.

Vampire blood was altogether a different territory. It wasn't often smelt beyond a battle, and its salty tang would permeate the air for miles around to any other Vampire. It was pungent, and saline, and had this _familiarity_ about it - because of course, it was another Vampire. You could never forget the scent of a Vampire's blood, unlike animal or human blood, because it was as distinctive as seeing a face. Once you knew a Vampire's blood, you would have no problem identifying it ever again . (Which was one of the reasons a Vampire should never have to worry about their mate cheating, his father had told him, because they could smell them from miles away)

Something about Aidou's tone said that he wasn't thinking it was a Human's blood either.

That would leave only…

He took another tentative sniff. Yes, it was Vampire blood.

His eyes began to widen in shock and disgust like Aidou's.

He could _recognise _this scent.

He had smelt the same blood months ago, last year in fact. At Takuma's supposed "birthday party". He had nicked his finger on the cutting knife for his cake.

How could it be Takuma's blood? No, maybe he was mistaken.

But another glance at Aidou's face told him that he was absolutely correct.

There was another's blood mixed with Takuma's, but Kain didn't recognise it. As he began to sniff deeper, disbelieving every second that he was smelling Takuma's-

"Ichijou!"

Aidou had flung open the door, running straight into the rain.

"Hana!" he yelled, scrambling out of the car to follow his cousin.

They began to stumble around in the dark, noses sniffing out the blood scent trail. It suddenly hit Kain's nose, that Takuma and the other mystery blood were closer than they had thought.

The rain was ruining their accuracy -

"Ichijou!" Aidou bellowed, heading in one direction, Kain hurried after him.

"Hana, you can't! What if the other one is his attacker-"

They both lifted their heads as the blood scents, alarmingly enough, began to come _towards them_.

Kain was torn between grabbing Aidou and making a run for it, or waiting to see why they could smell their friend's blood. The other scent… it didn't smell threatening, but you had to always be wary of strangers' bloods. But there was so much of this other Vampire's blood scent in the air, that he might be _more_ injured than Takuma. Oh god, Takuma was _hurt…_

They began to see a form emerging through the rain, a mass of darkness that carried deadly amounts of blood with it. Kain only just realised that his fangs had begun to lengthen stealthily from his gums.

Aidou shook off his hand, launching forwards to the form. Kain followed him numbly.

Why was he thinking so slowly? Why hadn't he thought it through like Aidou? Who was the only other person travelling with Takuma? A blood scent they had never smelt before -

"Oh _shit!_ Kat, get over here. It's bad, it's so bad…"

It was Shiki, slung over Takuma's shoulders, the taller blonde dragging his friend up the road. How did Takuma have the strength to carry his friend, when he himself was torn to shreds? There were so many wounds. The smell of blood was overwhelming. The colour of red - you couldn't tell what colour their clothes had been before, and it was dripping in pink rivulets down their faces, mixed with the rain. Their faces were stained, even the rain couldn't wash it out. _Oh god…_

Aidou caught Takuma just as he slumped forwards, collapsing under the weight of them both. Kain took Takuma from him, letting Aidou steady Shiki's weight.

"Get them to the car!" he ordered, lifting Takuma in his arms like a child. Had enough blood drained from him that he was lighter? He barely weighed a thing. Maybe it was an adrenaline rush. Kain couldn't figure it out, he couldn't figure it out, he…

They bundled the two injured vampires in their spare clothes and night clothes, not caring for the fact that they themselves were also soaked to the bone now.

For a while, they both sat in the car, stunned and horrified.

Aidou was beginning to hyperventilate.

"…I…I'm going to call K-Kaname-sama," he whispered, pulling out his sodden phone. Luckily it still worked.

It occurred to Kain that he should start driving, he had to get them to help as fast as possible.

He turned on the engine.

"…Hello? Kaname-sama. There's - what? No, we haven't arrived yet…"

Aidou shifted uncomfortably, his expression told Kain that Kaname was talking and he was being too polite to interrupt. _Damn it Hanabusa, there's no time for your Kaname-complex!_

"Tell him, Hana," he snapped, glancing back at the two unconscious bodies in the back. He felt strangely like a serial killer on the run. With the blood on his hands not being his own, the scent of death uncomfortably close, his hands clenching the steering wheel and his foot on the gas, the furthest it could go.

"Kaname-sama," Aidou cut in with a wince, "I need to say something. There's been an accident. I don't know… we don't know…" he began to pant for breath, "…Ichijou-kun and Shiki-kun are bleeding. It's so bad, Kaname-sama! I don't know what to do… Yes, we're going to the Castle right now… How far away are we, Kat?"

"Ten miles approximately," he glanced at Aidou's expectant face, "I'll make it in ten minutes."

"Ten minutes… They're unconscious! We don't know what happened! We just found them on the road, I smelt the blood… They look really bad, Kaname-sama… Okay…Okay, we'll do our best… Okay, we'll meet you there. Goodbye."

If Kain weren't so shocked by the whole situation, he would've remarked on the fact that that was the fastest he had ever seen Aidou say "Goodbye" to Kaname in his entire life.

As it was, he was desperately trying to concentrate on the road. It wouldn't do for them to crash and die now. Takuma must've worked so hard to carry Shiki from wherever they had come from, with the redhead having been unconscious from when they first found them.

For once in his life, he had to concentrate. He had to stop himself from freaking out, to keep his eyes on the road and not on the bloody bodies, to keep his mind on the road and not on the possibilities of what had happened, on the road, on the road…

For once in his life, Kain found that driving was not so easy.


	7. The Castle PART 1

Rima was a very quiet girl in general - some called her cold, or stoic, but she saw herself as just reserved. She reserved her energy for her best friend, Shiki Senri, for when the met up and played around childishly, eating pocky and bugging Takuma.

You wouldn't believe it if she was to tell you that - _they_ were the ones who bugged Takuma.

It was one of their hobbies. When the three of them hung out, she and Shiki would bug him with strange questions, or pose rhetorical questions for him to answer. He would get flustered. What many saw as a "cheery personality" that Takuma had, was in fact his method of distraction, hoping that he could distract them from pestering him.

It was all in good fun though. Ah, she missed them…

Often she wished they were her brothers. But then she would realise that this meant she couldn't crush on them, because that would be incest (and that was usually only allowed in Pureblood families, for the means of preserving the purity of their blood). And she unfortunately _was_ crushing on-

"Rima-chan, how much longer is this ride?"

She blinked, turning to the princess beside her. Yuuki could be a model. She was petite like Rima, but had a prettier face than her even. Of course, this was due to the Pureblood genes.

Incomparable beauty.

Rima sighed, "I'm not sure, I'd say around two hours, Yuuki-hime,"

When Yuuki had been made aware of her heritage, and re-announced as a princess, the dynamic had changed within the group. Though Rima was quite on the periphery of their "Inner Circle" group of friends - she was friends with Takuma, but not as close with Kaname - yet she still noticed the change.

Their Inner Circle was comprised itself of two smaller groups that interlinked.

Souen Ruka, Kain Akatsuki and Aidou Hanabusa had grown up very close together, since their families branched, and they stood on the side of the monarchy.

Ichijou Takuma had grown up with Kaname, and thus they were practically brothers. He later grew close to Shiki, and herself on extension.

Between the groups, Ruka and Rima made good friends - particularly because they could both complain and giggle about the boys together, and they _understood_ the importance of clothes (well Takuma dressed well, she had to admi t- he was quite good with fashion. But Shiki was shockingly _bad_ at choosing matching clothes. She had to dress him - which she wasn't completely complaining about).

When Yuuki came along, things changed.

Kaname had always been suspiciously involved with the supposedly _Human_ girl, but when she had been revealed to be his _sister_, he had begun to spend time accommodating her and enjoying playing "big brother" with her.

Around this time, Shiki's relation to Kaname had been revealed. It had been a shock to see them related as cousins. The only feature they seemed to share was their dark auburn hair - trademark of Kuran genes. Kaname began turning his attentions to him as well, drawing him into the "family", since the three of them (Kaname, Yuuki and Shiki) were all that remained of the Kuran clan.

This left her and Takuma together for most of the time. They got on well together, and she had begun to enjoy his sole company. (he was a true gentleman)

Aidou and Ruka had fumed quietly at the invasion into their group by Yuuki. She was stealing even _more_ of Kaname-sama's attention. Kain hadn't really been that bothered.

But there was this uncomfortable _change_ in their group. She couldn't really explain it. Whenever they were all together in the common room at the Academy, they were fine. But when Yuuki was around, there were these "boundaries" that suddenly appeared. She couldn't feel comfortable like that. It was as if one of them were to offend Yuuki in a certain way, or to reveal something unpleasant about Vampire life (Kaname was introducing Yuuki to Vampire life very carefully to not spook her), Kaname would punish them.

She could hardly imagine Kaname punishing them.

He was an unusually kind Pureblood (from what horror stories she'd heard from other Pureblood clans), who rarely was angered to the point of violence.

He only disciplined Aidou when he was becoming "too much", or Ruka when she was "smothering him".

But there was this very real, detectable danger in the room whenever Yuuki was present. She could almost imagine Kaname being crouched over the dainty girl in a protective stance, daring anyone to corrupt her.

Rima found the change disturbing. She couldn't even be comfortable around her friends anymore.

Kaname had begun relying on her and Ruka to spend time around Yuuki, since they were "all girls, so they would get along fine", she rolled her eyes. _Boys_. They thought they could stick a bunch of girls together and expect them to get along fine? What were they? Puppies in a crate?

Since Ruka detested Yuuki, it had fallen on her to befriend the girl. It wasn't very difficult to do, to be fair. Yuuki was a very sweet girl, whose childish innocence was charming, and like her brother, she was incomparably kind.

"Rima-chan! Were you listening?"

"Eh?" she blinked again. Maybe that was a reason why people thought she was cold. She daydreamed too much. "Pardon me, I was not paying attention."

"Rima-chan…" Yuuki mock-scolded, grinning as she wagged her finger, "I was just asking you if you knew what Kuran Castle is like."

"Ah, no, I don't. I've never been there before. Takuma has though, and he told me many things."

"So? Tell me, tell me, please!"

Smiling a little, Rima said, "He said it is the most beautiful place in the world. It's a place he can imagine fairytales happening."

Yuuki's eyes twinkled and she giggled excitedly, unable to stop herself, Rima giggled too. It was rather exciting to be finally going to a place she had only ever heard of.

"I wish _I _could remember. Kaname told me I was there as a child. Well, I must have been, I guess. But I don't remember anything…" Yuuki whined. Rima laughed, patting her hand comfortingly.

"I'm sure it will all come back to you when we arrive."

Nodding, Yuuki grinned wildly again, bouncing in her seat like a sugar-high toddler. Rima laughed again. Yes, she liked Yuuki like this - when she wasn't with Kaname. With Kaname around, Yuuki somehow, despite being sweet and gentle, also became unintentionally deadly.

* * *

><p>Kaname folded the packet of sweets and tucked them away. Barely a half a handful were left, but they'd been put to good use. Zero was walking beside him, his ridiculous wooden suitcase making a rattling sound every time it knocked against his leg as they walked in the tight spaces between the crowds of people.<p>

There was, however, a marginal path that cleared wherever Kaname walked. That was one of the perks of being a Pureblood, he supposed - even Humans tended to give him his respectful space.

Zero shuffled behind, in his wake, making use of this privilege.

He was being stubbornly silent and moody. The plane landing hadn't been a fun experience. In fact, it had been worse than take-off, he was sure they were crashing as the walls of the plane had rattled and the landing wheels had bounced on the tarmac _three_ times before landing properly.

But Kaname didn't realise that Zero was actually paying attention to where they were walking, and he was noticing that Kaname was taking an unusual path through the crowds, swerving every now and again. How long was it taking for them to get to the damn exit?

"What the hell are we doing, senpai?" Zero finally snapped, as they almost reached the edge of the crowds to double back a bit and head for a different exit.

"What you cannot detect, but _I _can, Kiryuu-kun, is the number of Vampires in this place,"

Zero growled.

"I _can_ detect Vampires, you - _you_! I'm still a Hunter, you know!"

"Lower your voice please, the Humans are listening."

Zero snapped his mouth shut, glancing around at the Humans suspiciously.

"You know, even Humans are sensitive to powerful auras, Kiryuu-kun. They don't see _everything, _but they can notice when a big enough danger is near," Kaname said quietly, "There are a surprising number of _us_ here in this airport at the moment, which is unfortunate. So I'm trying to avoid overlapping my aura with theirs, or else we could make a scene."

"I heard that you Purebloods can suppress your auras. Just do that and stop leading us in circles!"

Kaname sent him an amused look, "What do you think I'm doing? My aura _is_ suppressed. It's just too big to be ignored," his lips quirked.

Zero rolled his eyes at the "size" joke, but quickly snapped back to his previous scowl. He wanted Kaname to know exactly how annoyed he was, putting up with his Pureblood nonsense.

They eventually made it to the parking lot, where Kaname got them into a fancy car. Zero didn't even bother checking out the type (AN: because the author doesn't understand cars!) before belting up. He breathed out in relief and snuggled into the seat.

But he was too restless to sleep. He had slept on the plane too, after the freaky take-off. He was now full of pent-up energy that needed a release.

He glanced at Kaname driving. He didn't know the guy _could_ drive. Didn't he have personal drivers?

Kaname glanced at him, his lip still quirked in quiet amusement.

"Is something wrong, Kiryuu-kun? Are you tired? You could sleep, the drive is quite-"

"You're not even being funny, _don't start_," Zero snarled. Kaname laughed. "I've slept more in this day than I have since I was a baby. I don't think I could sleep if you stuck me with two shots of ketamine," he huffed at Kaname's snort, "I'm serious. So I think I'll bug you to keep you awake."

"I'm perfectly awake, Kiryuu-kun. But I appreciate your company. And I was joking, the drive isn't long at all, we'll be there in an hour."

The scenery was far too dark to be admired. All that could be identified was the abundance of trees. They were probably passing through a wood. Zero shuffled so his head was resting on the bottom of the window, and he could peer up at the black sky, hoping to see some stars.

In the pitch black, he could pick out a few pinpricks of light.

"I've been meaning to thank you for taking me to this thing, Kuran-senpai," he muttered quietly.

"It's been my pleasure, Kiryuu-kun. Please call me Kaname. I feel like we are becoming friends."

"Don't joke with me."

Kaname laughed. His laugh was finally beginning to become more steady and relaxed. Zero smiled.

"I usually travel alone. It's customary for us Purebloods to travel alone."

"Huh, why's that?"

"Think about it Kiryuu-kun. I told you about the humans being able to sense us before. With Vampires it's even worse. My aura is like a beacon. It draws far too much attention in public. It's dangerous for me, and anyone travelling with me."

Zero blinked.

"Was that meant to scare me, Kaname?" he asked jokingly. Kaname grinned.

"I'm sure you can cope. You can be my bodyguard."

Zero snorted.

A strange shrill sound rang from Kaname's pocket. He groaned, stopping the car abruptly. He pointed at his phone, "This ringtone is almost as annoying as its caller."

He flipped it open, "Moshi-moshi."

He rolled his eyes, "Where are you Aidou?...I'd have thought you would've arrived by now. Didn't you leave yesterday? Where are you-"

Zero zoned out - Kaname was always scolding Aidou for doing stupid things. He closed his eyes tightly, willing away the grogginess travelling brought. It had been the strangest day.

During the trip, Zero found himself looking at Kaname in a way he had never seen him before. Before the War, he knew he hated Kaname with all his being. There was no question about it. He hated Purebloods, and Kaname was a Pureblood, ergo he hated Kaname.

Because, who had Made him? Who had bitten him, injecting their venom in him to curse him? A Pureblood.

They owed him his life.

The War forced him to work with Kaname, since they were working with the same goals - protect the Humans, kill Rido. It had been a simple alliance which he had grudgingly allowed, for the sake of doing what needed to be done. In the War he had seen Kaname as exactly the monster he had imagined - bloodthirsty, deadly, a _killer_. He was death on the battlefield. But he had also seen a military man, fiercely loyal to his people, and he respected that he protected his people.

But those three images of Kaname were the only ones he had ever seen for the whole of his life - the enemy Pureblood, blood hungry vampire and the valiant ally. He had never believed there was anything Human about Kaname.

Who knew one day could change everything?

He had seen Kaname laugh, and smile and joke. It was the little things that were niggling at the back of Zero's mind, urging him to open his mind the slightest bit wider to see Kaname in a whole new light. It was something that fought against his instincts as a Vampire Hunter - to befriend a Pureblood (he stubbornly ignored the fact that Kurosu Kaien, one of the most famous Vampire Hunters in existence was a very close friend of Kaname, a Pureblood on the basis that Kaien was _really __weird_).

This was, perhaps the first time Zero had ever considered Kaname, the _person_.

Smiling slightly, Zero ran over the events of the day through his mind (obviously not the sleeping moments) and took his stash of _Summer Fruits_ out of his pocket, popping one in his mouth.

But when he turned to check up on why the call was taking so long again, he found Kaname's face had become frighteningly stoic again, though there was a churning emotion in his eyes that Zero didn't like.

All of a sudden, Kaname flipped on the engine and they were flying down the road at a speed _much_ greater than before. Zero was propelled back in his seat and had a momentary flashback to the plane's take-off, he turned a little green.

"What's going on, Kuran?" he asked shakily, fingers curling around the edge of his seat.

"There's been an accident. We're needed at the Castle."


	8. The Castle PART 2

Zero had imagined that entering the Castle would be grand and thrilling. It was one of the main reasons why he had agreed to come to the damn celebration, since he had always wanted to see a real castle. But in reality, it was pitch black when they arrived, so he couldn't see a thing.

Also, the circumstances of their hasty arrival left no time to dally.

They arrived at almost the same time as the others. The pungent smell of excessive blood hit Zero in the face, literally, like a _slap_. He quickly pinched his nose shut, though he couldn't control the red colour leaking into his eyes or the uncomfortable lengthening of his fangs.

Kaname was already outside the car, making his way to the other one, just as Aidou and Kain practically fell out of it.

Stumbling after him, Zero grimaced at the heavy smell of blood - so delicious, but in overpowering abundance. It reminded them all of the War, and that was not a memory he liked to think of.

"I've alerted the infirmary for their arrival. You've both done well. Go inside and clean up. Rest. I'll meet you in the infirmary," Kaname ordered, once again slipping into his leader-role.

Nodding, with obedient, "Hai, Kaname-sama" replies, the two cousins headed to the castle, their red eyes flashing in the darkness.

Zero turned to watch the doors of the car open by themselves, no, by _Kaname_, and two bloodied bodies were levitated out of it. Even as he pinched his nose so hard he could feel it burning, he could smell their blood and it made him feel sick rather than hungry.

Kaname frowned at him, "Didn't I tell you to go inside?"

So he was being ordered as well… usually he would have snapped a snarky reply at Kaname and done the opposite of what he said, but at this time, he obeyed.

He wanted to escape that horrible smell of blood. It was too much. He could remember… he could remember… _the screams, the hot splash of blood, stabbing, slicing-_

It made him feel sick _sick_ _**sick**_.

He ran into the castle.

* * *

><p>What Zero hadn't thought of was that he had no idea where he was going.<p>

How very unlike him.

But luckily enough, Kain had been thoughtful enough to wait for him in the grand entrance he found himself in. The redhead nodded at him briefly and led him straight to a private room. Along the way there, all Zero was thinking about was _Whoa, this place is big. Where is everybody?_

But clearly Kain didn't want to speak at the moment. He looked dead on his feet, his footsteps heavy and clumsy as they climbed two flights of stairs. Zero by this point was also exhausted.

Once Kain had deposited him in a room, telling him that he would collect him in half an hour, Zero heaved a sigh of relief. The clothes Kain were soaked in blood.

He dumped his suitcase on the bed, pulling out some spare clothes.

After a quick shower, he dressed and sat down on the bed, trying to digest what had just happened.

There had been an attack, clearly, which had left four of Kaname's friends covered in blood, two of them having to be taken to the infirmary (the Castle had its own _infirmary_).

What the hell was going on?

He was really glad that he had fed from Kaname not so long ago, otherwise, he couldn't bear to think of what his reaction would have been to so much blood.

What had attacked them though? Level Es? No. They were too weak. It had to be something else.

Something that had managed to injure two powerful Vampire Nobles.

Zero frowned. Vampire Nobles were equivalent to Level Bs. They were the upper crust of vampire society, just below Purebloods (ranked Level A), and the most powerful of the Nobles tended to have special abilities they could use as weapons, generated as by-products from the power in their blood.

How could two of these powerful Vampires be so mortally wounded? Didn't they have peace-

Kain knocked on the door, taking Zero upstairs, to the infirmary.

* * *

><p>The infirmary was actually quite small, but maybe it was made worse with the ten odd people crowded inside it.<p>

Takuma had woken up during treatment, crying out in pain when the nurse swabbed his wounds in stinging alcohol. He had been so terrified, you wouldn't recognise him from what he was usually like. Even after settling down, his green eyes were wide and alert, and he shifted closer to Kaname for comfort.

"What happened to you?" Kaname asked quietly.

To their horror, Takuma started weeping, "He came. We came to warn you Kaname. We were running. We tried to reach you first-"

"Shh, calm down Taku, calm down."

Takuma nodded and took a few gulps of air, "We saw him," his eyes darted imploringly at anyone, finally stopping on Aidou's, "We saw _him_."

Aidou shuddered, curling in on himself, "I think we know who you mean."

"No we don't!" Zero snapped, hating the secret conversation they seemed to be having, "You saw _who?_"

Takuma whimpered, but shakily said, "We saw Rido, at the café. I thought I was seeing things, but it was so cold. And then Senri said we must warn you, so we ran-"

"You should've phoned us! By running you made yourself a target!" Aidou yelled.

"Stop shouting Aidou, or you'll be sent outside," Kaname warned, then turning to his best friend again, "And what happened next?"

"We were running, through the forest. We couldn't wait for the taxi. And it was so dark, I couldn't see anything. I tripped and sprained my ankle. We had to stop, and Senri gave me blood," his eyes shifted warily to Kaname's, "I didn't bite him. He cut himself to give me blood. And then he caught us. He smelt it. He smelt him," he began struggling to sit up, "Where is he? He went for him! He went for him!"

"Calm down," Kaname soothed, pushing him down on the bed carefully. Zero watched in wonder as Takuma's pale, distraught face relaxed instantly. Was it a Pureblood thing again? "Tell me what happened next."

"He split us up," Takuma sobbed, his face pinching again, "He threw us apart, and went for Senri. I couldn't see where they were! All I could hear was Senri screaming, and I could smell blood. And then he… he came for me…" his eyes blanked. Kaname stroked his hair comfortingly, gently urging him to continue.

"He told me he would come."

Takuma closed his eyes.

"He's coming."


	9. The Castle PART 3

**okay, i _really_ dont like this chapter. again, i apologise for the filler. it was useful at one point in my head. maybe someday the reason will come back to me. for now you will have to bear with reading this.**

**if anyone is getting terribly bored, i assure you, the action will pick up soon.**

**thanks for reading, readers! your reviews make my day!**

* * *

><p>By the morning, it was like the nightmare of last night had passed. The only remains from the previous day were the invalids still sleeping in the infirmary, though apparently they would be released in the afternoon. Kaname had shot them with some of his blood to speed up their recovery.<p>

In the light, the beauty of the Castle could finally be admired.

Truly, it was the most beautiful building Zero had ever seen. The interior had everything he had dreamt of from reading his gothic novels. There were winding narrow corridors, cold grey stone walls, galleries with tall arched ceilings and giant stone bay windows overlooking the grounds.

But Zero's first goal of the day was so burning bright in his mind that he barely spared the corridors anything over an awed once-over (though his face was carefully masked in an outraged glower).

He followed Kain down to the dining room for breakfast.

"Good morning, Kiryuu-kun," Kaname greeted. Zero nodded and bowed politely in greeting. A quick glance showed him that Kaname was sipping some tea, Aidou was stirring some oatmeal and Kain was chowing down on something that smelled _incredible_.

The room, and the table were of course, ridiculously oversized for the number of people using them. But Zero took his seat silently, trying to shush his rumbling stomach discreetly. He stubbornly refused to look up from his food. Anyhow, it was taking a lot of concentration and effort to remain eating in a civilised manner instead of scoffing the food like he usually would.

It was a perfectly delicious Eggs Benedict with a spoonful of _caviar_ on the top.

Though Zero was by no means a miser with money, he couldn't help but compare everything on his plate (and the plate) to his usual food. It probably cost the equivalent of a week of groceries for him. Maybe even a _month._

But it was delicious. And free. So he shut up and ate.

"How are you this morning?" Kaname asked. Zero shrugged. He knew he was being rude, but there was anger biting at him with every time Kaname spoke, so he decided to cram his mouth with food to stop himself speaking.

"Kaname-sama asked you a question, Kiryuu," Aidou bit out. From the corner of his eye, Zero could see Kain immediately clamp a hand on his cousin's arm below the view of the table.

"I'm fine," he mumbled, sipping on the juice. It was true what he had told Kaname- he was like a snake, and now that he had decided to eat, he ate and all his focus went on eating. It wasn't even deliberate anymore.

"Let him eat, Aidou," Kaname said, smirking a fraction. He turned to Zero, flicking his tongue from between his teeth like a snake's forked tongue.

Despite the anger he held, Zero smirked a little back.

Aidou looked totally confused, glancing between the two of them with a concerned expression on his face. Had the Level D and Kaname-sama made _friends_?

The break in his angry thoughts shook Zero from the hell-bent rant he had been planning to give privately to Kaname after breakfast. He was being ridiculously childish. Like Aidou.

"Kaname-san, I've been wondering about something," he said, forcing himself to let go of the glass reluctantly.

"Hmm?" Kaname set down his tea as well.

"Why don't I know anything about Rido? Why does everyone else know?"

This made everyone's gaze snap to him. He steadily glowered at them all.

He could just predict Aidou was going to say something about him not being important enough to be informed of these things. But he didn't even care about what his Vampire status meant to any of them. He had the right to know these types of things by association. Didn't Kaname feel any sort of need to tell him, as his ally, to warn him about something as vital as _their old enemy coming back __**from the dead?**_

As he had predicted, Aidou bristled. But Kaname cut in before he could.

"I agree that you have been neglected in this matter, Kiryuu-kun. On behalf of everyone, I apologise, but we simply weren't definite that Rido was back. It wouldn't make sense to scare you for no reason."

_I wouldn't be _scared.

Zero scoffed, "That's a cheap excuse."

"Don't you talk to Kaname-sama like that!"

"Enough. Aidou, Kain, please could you excuse us for a few minutes. We won't be long."

Aidou trudged out of the room like a wounded bull, Kain shaking his head behind him.

"Rido was killed. I _saw_ you kill him."

"I did. And trust me, I'm just as at a loss as you are. But the fact remains that now we have solid proof that Rido is back. Takuma saw him."

"So what are we going to do?" Zero urged, "Does anyone else know?"

"Kaien does, as does Yagari-san and Rima. Apart from them, no. And in my opinion it wouldn't be wise to spread panic just before the coronation."

"In my opinion you should call _off_ the coronation," Zero exclaimed, "You're certainly asking for trouble if you don't."

"Pardon?" Kaname's voice was deadly quiet, but Zero didn't care.

"You're being stupid if you don't, I said," he spat, "You'll be putting thousands of people in danger if he comes here. Which he will, if Takuma heard correctly."

"You think that if I call off the coronation it will save them?" Kaname laughed bitterly, "It won't make a difference. They've all decided to come, and nothing will stop them now. I may be a Pureblood, but even I don't have control over free will. They _want _to come, Kiryuu-kun. Plenty of them have been dreaming of coming for a long time, so I can almost be certain that they will come anyway."

_I don't have control over free will._

Zero remembered Kaname whispering Takuma to calm down, and he immediately had. But maybe it had just been the comfort of a friend that had calmed him.

"You can _try-_"

"It will make no difference!" Kaname yelled, running a hand through his hair, "They will come, and he will come. I can't stop it. What we must do is remain vigilant. We must try our hardest to catch him when he comes before he can do anything."

_We're sitting ducks_, Zero mused. He glanced down at his breakfast. He had strangely lost his appetite.

"Kiryuu-kun, there's nothing we can do but wait for him and match him with everything we can. I've already called for Yagari-san to come with some of his team for security."

Kaname called Aidou and Kain back in to eat, but no one was really eating anymore.

"Yuuki and Rima are arriving within the hour," Kain said, "And Ruka is coming in the afternoon,"

"No one will tell Yuuki about this, because I must tell her," Kaname said firmly. With this, he excused himself from the table and left the room swiftly.

Zero left too. He was still deadly pissed, and the only way he was going to calm himself down was to satisfy the life-long passion he had had for Castles since childhood. He was going to explore.

* * *

><p>Takuma groaned, rolling onto his stomach to relieve the pain on his back.<p>

Unfortunately, that awoke the pain on his chest.

He groaned again.

"Stay still," a quiet voice said from across the room. "Then it won't hurt so much."

"Senriii," he groaned happily, struggling to push himself upright to see his friend in the bed across from him. "You're okay!"

"I'm alive, I'm hardly okay."

Senri didn't look too good, wrapped in a number of bandages. Takuma really couldn't tell if he looked particularly pale, because he was already very pale. But he could smell the scent of blood, telling him that they were both still wounded. He could also detect the dustier scent of dried blood, meaning the wounds were at least scabbing and healing.

They were healing quite fast…

Only then did he realise that they were in beds, in a room very familiar to him. The infirmary at Kuran Castle.

He couldn't help but grin. After having had to drag himself and Shiki up a long road, he had prayed they would be found. Clearly last night hadn't been a dream. They were safe.

Takuma snuggled in the sheets, sighing in relief. They were safe.

He'd never been so scared before in his life.

In the War, he hadn't managed to get near Rido, so he wasn't really aware of how terrifying he was. And having known Kaname since he was little, knowing him as being a kind Pureblood, he had been perhaps a little biased view of what Purebloods could be like.

Rido was certainly nothing like Kaname.

Takuma was feeling much, much better than he thought he would have. There could only be one reason for this.

He began patting along his arms for it- ah yes. The small circular band-aid in the crook of his elbow (AN: I totally don't know where injections tend to be given! So sue me- please don't-!). He rubbed it a little, remembering when he found these all the time.

As a child, he hadn't had the best immune system and picked up bugs practically every other month. Whenever it got too bad, little Kaname would sneak into the room, stab his own arm with a syringe and draw out some blood to give his friend.

If he ever mentioned it to anyone, he would be in _such big_ trouble.

It was an extreme privilege to be given Pure blood on any occasion. And the number of times over the years Takuma had been given it, to help him break a fever, or soothe the aches of the flu, were startling.

He was truly blessed to have Kaname as a friend.

"Taku, what happened?"

He blinked, sitting up again to speak to Shiki.

"You… remember in the woods, right?"

There was a pause where he watched Shiki's emotionless face.

"…Yes."

"We were brought back here," Takuma remembered Shiki had never been there before, "This is the Castle, we made it."

Shiki smiled, "You told me we would."

Takuma grinned, though his face hurt from… he was sure his face had been scratched a ton by Rido's nails, and being dragged through those bushes by his ankles-

"You carried me?"

"I dragged you," Takuma said sheepishly, "Only part of the way. I blacked out after a while."

Shiki nodded. They lay in companionable silence for a little while.

"You better not be making a jibe at my weight, Taku."

"Senriii…"

* * *

><p>Yuuki approached the castle in a daze. It was the most incredible moment of her life…<p>

The midday sun caught every expression of glass on the building and around it- the ornate stained glass windows in the towers, the mirror-like glass sculptures surrounding the courtyard, the glass fountain at its centre.

The outside of the building was made of a creamy, peachy marble that might have come from the similarly coloured hill cliffs in the background.

She didn't know if she should knock on the door or enter it like it was her home.

It _had _been her home.

Taking a deep breath, she pushed the doors open. Immediately she was greeted by a butler and had her luggage and overcoat taken from her, and a drink of juice given to her.

A smile was painted on her face, almost permanently as she was led to the dining room for a late lunch with Kaname. The staff here was so friendly! She was glad. As she passed one corridor, she was almost certain she had smelt blood, but she ignored it. It must be her tired imagination fooling her. She was exhausted.

Still, she managed to enjoy her _mouth-watering_ lunch with Kaname quite well, and he escorted her to _her room_.

This was the room she'd had when she was a child.

Yuuki looked around the room carefully, her eyes tracing every detail of the floral wallpaper and cream bedsheets, the small bookcase half-full and pearl-white wardrobe. It didn't really spark any memories, because there were only essentials in it- no photos, or childish toys, or posters… it wasn't anything like the room she had at the Academy.

But, she perked up, that only meant she had a reason to decorate!

Kaname excused himself since had to attend to some "business", so Yuuki was left alone to ponder her room. Ever curious, she poked around at everything in it.

No, it was her room but there were no personal memories in it.

It was almost as if anything personal had been purposefully _removed_.


	10. Manger vous, sil vous plais

**haha, you know what i saw which tooootally convinced me about the "canon"-ness of kz pairing (gawd i hope i used that word correctly...)**

**i went on the vampire knight wiki to check up on the accuracy of my notes, and have you noticed that the background of the site are**

**kaname**

**and**

**zero**

**looking sexy?**

**well I havent. but this is a PUBLISHED website. (sureitsforfans) it's OFFICIAL**

**one**

**two**

**three**

***SQUEEEEEEEEEEEE***

* * *

><p>A thousand sweet childhood memories filled Ruka's eyes with happy tears as she walked through the open doors of the castle, feeling the warmth of the building also sinking into her skin. She could almost feel herself shrink into her childish, five-year-old body, back to the day when she had first entered the Kuran Castle.<p>

It was as if nothing had changed. Even though she knew _she_ had changed and grown, the castle seemed to have grown to accommodate her further - it was still _massive_ and awesome.

She shivered as she spotted Kaname further down, coming out of the great hall. It was _just_ like those years ago. Spotting him, falling in love…

"Ruka-chan!"

Ruka spun around to be tackle-hugged by Aidou. Yes, it was _just_ the same.

Sure enough, the other one of the Kaname's "right hand men" came waltzing down the stairs, she smirked at his "cool" act. That was a perk of knowing these handsome men from being little - she knew all of their tricks and could laugh at their attempts at looking "cool" whenever they did it.

"Yo, Ruka-chan," he greeted, pulling her into a rough one-armed hug.

Ever lady-like, Ruka bitch-slapped him on the face and scolded him for not treating her right.

Then both of them took her by the hand to greet Kaname. By now, Ruka could have outright giggled by how déjà vu this was getting.

She greeted Kaname with a small bow, sufficient for close friends, him returning the same.

"I hope your trip went well, Ruka," he took her coat, ever the gentleman (unlike those two- _she glared at them from the corner of her eye_).

"It was quite pleasant, actually," she gratefully took his arm, "The weather was nice and cool, so I didn't perspire too much."

"I hope you stayed out of the sun."

"I brought a parasol."

Kaname hummed approvingly, leading them towards the dining room, she noticed.

"You've come in good time. Jiro-san has just finished preparing dinner…"

Ruka could've sung with joy. Years ago she would never have believed she could talk so comfortably with Kaname like equals, like friends. He had been something unattainable to her from the moment they met, from the moment she fell in love.

But the War, despite its horrors, did some good for Ruka.

She found in Kaname a comrade, and had earned his respect by leading several successful patrols.

But the pride she felt was not only for pleasing Kaname. Ruka found she was proud of herself, and her capabilities as a strong woman (in fact, recently Aidou had been complaining that she was turning into a nagging feminist. She promptly whacked him over the head).

Ruka even thought that Kaname liked her _more_ this way. He was, for once, enjoying her friendship.

What frightened Ruka was that she was enjoying it too.

There was no real longing for his attention anymore, or pining for him, or crying over him.

Had she fallen out of love?

Ruka wanted to believe that the love she had felt, and still felt for Kaname was real, but perhaps, it was only puppy-love.

Now, all Ruka felt for Kaname was a deep affection, and of course, respect.

She would always stand beside him, and she vowed to make sure he fell for someone who was perfect for him.

Ruka smiled, as Aidou began to whine on the other side of Kaname, Kain hovering beside him to pull him back if he got too bothersome. It was just like old times! But as she caught Aidou's eye, she could also see there was a change in him. His face wasn't always turned to Kaname's, nor did he follow behind him like a lost puppy. She was so happy for them all moving on - but moving on _together_.

"Oi, oi Hana! Don't rush ahead of us!" Kain yelled at the blonde boy disappearing around the corner.

They chased after him, scolding and laughing. Nothing had changed.

Apart from one thing.

Ruka was ready to fall in love again.

* * *

><p>Everyone was seated around the table, and still the dining table wasn't anywhere near full! The scale of the castle just <em>wasn't funny<em>. Zero had gotten lost a countless number of times, and he thought that he had a good sense of direction. Kaname had had to go round to find him (lost even more in the aisles of the library) and bring him down to dinner.

The atmosphere around the table was markedly tense.

Zero winced as the udon noodles escaped his tightly gripped chopsticks and splashed in the soup, luckily not dumping any liquids on his lap.

Ruka had arrived at dinner late. Apparently she had gone up to the infirmary to visit the two invalids with Rima. Takuma had healed enough to be able to come down for dinner technically, but since Shiki still required more rest he decided to eat upstairs.

They could've done with having Takuma with them to break the ice.

Zero was glad to see Yuuki was eating happily though. He believed there was some sort of _"protection from awkward moments"_ that she had, due to her rather oblivious nature, which he was at the moment quite jealous of.

Kaname had politely excused himself from dinner to spend it notifying Yagari about sending the back-up Hunters, for protection against Rido. He had sent a note calling Zero up to his room after dinner.

They could've done with Kaname to force one of them to speak.

Zero sighed, dipping his spoon into the deliciously salty soup. It was the quietest, most awkward dinner he had ever been to.

And the weird thing was that he was looking forward to being dismissed, so he could escape it.

Even if he would have to go to Kaname's room for whatever reason.

He glanced down at the expensive, appetizing, uneaten food in his bowl. It was such a waste. But he was the type of person you couldn't force to eat. Smirking, he bit his tongue. He was a snake after all.

* * *

><p>"Did you enjoy the dinner?"<p>

Snort, "Hardly. It was the most awkward dinners I've ever been to in my life."

"You exaggerate."

"There was no one talking. Everyone was just eating."

"Did you enjoy the food at least?"

Zero slithered his tongue out, hissing, "So sorry sir."

Kaname chuckled, "You have strange eating habits, Kiryuu-kun,"

Zero hesitated, before smiling uncertainly, "Call me Zero. I feel like we are becoming friends,"

Kaname blinked, and then smiled warmly. Zero rolled his eyes at how unreasonably _handsome_ Kaname was looking, and took a seat on one of the settees in _Kaname's private lounge_. Geez…

"So what did you call me for?"

"Ah, I just wanted to discuss how you're feeling."

Zero's eyes widened, he patted himself down in mock-fear, "Why? What did you do to me?"

Kaname snorted, "You'll never know. No. I just was thinking in advance about a few things-"

"Get to the freaking point, I have sleep to catch up on."

Kaname sat down beside Zero, and casually began unbuttoning his shirt.

Zero panicked, smacking away Kaname's hands and cursing loudly.

"What the hell, Kuran?"

"My name is Kaname, Zero-kun," Kaname said calmly, grasping Zero's hands with one hand and resuming unbuttoning his shirt with the other, "I thought I would give you a little top-up before tomorrow,"

"I fed two days ago!"

"It's a necessary precaution, Zero-kun," he peeled he shirt down to his shoulder, "After all, you know what it's like to be deprived of blood. We had this situation in the War. Take the blood whilst you have the opportunity. You never know when your next feeding will be,"

There was an infuriating amount of logic in that reasoning.

So Zero closed his eyes, willing his fangs to lengthen, which was much more difficult when he was not hungry. He remembered when he had first been Turned, he had experimented with lengthening and retracting his fangs- it was a strange feeling that required practice, like going cross-eyed. When he had realised what the fangs were for, he had stopped, disgusted with himself….

Zero glanced up at Kaname, who was watching him patiently. "You ready?"

Nodding, Zero jerkily knelt up on the settee to reach Kaname's neck. He could hear the strong pulses of blood thrumming through the carotid artery, below the smooth skin, but he found himself having to sniff around a little to find the proper position to bite down on. It wasn't as instinctive as when he was actually hungry.

When he bit down, a stream of blood dribbled down his chin messily. He bashfully wiped it with his fingers (smearing it into a worse mess) and concentrated on clamping his lips down around the bite wound to prevent any spills.

_Oh why is this still so awwkwaaaard…._

It wasn't lost on Zero how compromising their position was.

Him, crouched over Kaname, lips clamped down on his neck, his hands clutching Kaname's shoulders to steady himself. _Bloody hell!_

He had been sure that things would be less awkward this time because now they were "friends", but how could drinking blood _not_ be awkward?

Except, this time Zero sensed a different atmosphere lingering around them. He could feel Kaname's strong shoulders under his fingertips, and the heat that pored through the thin material of his shirt. He could also feel this warm, comforting heat right against his _face_ as it was buried in the crook of Kaname's neck. He had no choice but to inhale Kaname's woody, pine and rosewater scent.

It was so _intimate_.

Zero grunted, signalling he was done, he was _so_ done.

But Kaname suddenly grabbed his waist, probably thinking he needed extra _support_.

Zero could've laughed at the situation, if he wasn't _in it_.

He pulled his fangs out carefully, snatching the handkerchief from Kaname and tying it tightly around his neck (almost strangling him) so he could _evacuate_ as quickly as possible.

As he extricated himself from Kaname, Kaname also wiped the excess blood onto the handkerchief.

They stood in silence for a few moments.

"You shouldn't use those," Zero said quickly, gesturing at the bloody handkerchief.

"Oh? I shouldn't?"

"Yeah, it's so bloody wasteful, having to throw them away every time. Why don't you use tissues?"

"This is softer on the wound."

"Ah…" Zero shuffled, nodding, shifting… gah! It was so uncomfortable!

He hastily bade Kaname "Goodnight" and hurried down the corridor to _hopefully_ where his room was meant to be…

It wasn't fair! Things were going weird already.

And they had only been friends for two days.

* * *

><p>Aidou sat bolt upright, so suddenly that Kain fell off his bed in shock.<p>

"What the hell man-"

"Don't you smell it?"

"Eh?" Kain grunted, heaving himself up on the bed again.

"Smell," Aidou urged, sniffing for himself. Kain watched his cousin's eyes flicker red slightly. Could Takuma and Shiki be in trouble?

He sniffed. No, it was _definitely _not them.

"It's Kaname-sama's blood," Aidou informed him. He rolled his eyes.

"We smell Kaname's blood all the time at the Academy. He's probably feeding Yuuki, as usual."

"Yeah, that's probably it," the blonde agreed, settling back down on his bed.

Kain shuffled into a comfortable position, rolling his shoulders and kicking the duvet down.

Of course, he was sharing a room with Aidou.

Somehow, Kain was convinced Kaname was trying to duplicate what their childhood had been like when they stayed at the Kuran Castle. They had always shared a room because Aidou got lost easily.

_Like Kiryuu-kun_, he thought, groaning at the idea of having to collect Zero again in the morning. He didn't hate him, like Aidou, but _because _of Aidou and Zero's mutual hate for one another, Kain had to put up with Aidou's complaints about the Hunter _all the time_.

"_Just let him get lost,"_ Aidou had said, cruelly as they had waited outside the dining room for Kaname to stop speaking with Zero at breakfast.

He had whacked Aidou on the bottom, just like good old Aidou-chichi (Aidou's father) did when he was being mean to his sisters.

"Wait a second, Kat."

"Eh?" he glanced at Aidou as the blonde wriggled out of his carefully arranged sheets. "What?"

Aidou frowned, "I'm sure I saw Yuuki-chan going the opposite direction to Kaname-sama's room."

"Well maybe they're trying to be discreet," Kain supplied, tugging on Aidou's nightshirt. He hoped he wasn't going to go _investigate_, "They aren't exactly out-in-the-open about the feeding with us, are they?"

"I guess not. It's just…" Aidou paused as he concentrated on crawling back into the tight space he had made with his sheets, "I… well wasn't Kiryuu-kun going up to Kaname-sama's room?"

"Yeah, so?"

"So wouldn't Yuuki-chan have to send Kiryuu-kun back to his room before feeding from Kaname-sama?"

"_Yeah_, so?"

"Well, I haven't heard anybody walking past our door, and Kiryuu-kun's room is that way," he gestured down the left of their room, "Which means he would have to pass it to get from Kaname-sama's room."

Kain closed his eyes, sighing heavily. He rolled onto his stomach to peer at Aidou's speculative face.

"You know what I think?" he drawled.

Aidou twitched. He could already tell he was about to be teased.

"What?"

"I think that you're being unreasonably investigative at unreasonable hours of the night, and you're sticking your nose into places it shouldn't be, as per usual, Hana-chan,"

"So?"

"Well, what I'm really saying is that I would prefer if you wouldn't do this when we're about to go to sleep."

Aidou's face brightened, "Oh, okay. Goodnight Kat-chan," he turned over to sleep. Kain smirked.

_Oh Hana-chan_... He clearly thought that he had gotten away with being allowed to nose about this "feeding" business, but Kain was going to keep an extra careful eye on him. A meddling Aidou was a troublesome Aidou, and if they bothered Kaname- Aidou's punishment would, by default, be Kain's punishment too, so in the end... he was really sparing himself.


	11. Flowers in my Hair

Finally, the invalids met everyone the next day for breakfast. Rima, Aidou and Kain looked noticeably more relieved than the others at seeing the two up and okay (though Shiki still had his face partially bandaged. He refused to say what Rido had done to it, but it wasn't healing as fast as the rest of his wounds).

Takuma greeted them all cheerfully, looking as good as ever. He brushed Aidou and Kain's shoulders thankfully as he crossed the room, eyes shining in appreciation as they slid over both of them carefully. Without them, he and Shiki would almost certainly not have made it.

Kaname informed them all that the staff had told him the Council were arriving at noon, and that preparations for the coronation were well underway. They were to avoid entering the ballroom or the East wing and be careful around the Castle (his gaze fell critically on Aidou at this commandment, who blushed brightly).

As they were dismissed, Zero aimed to go for another wander around the Castle alone, when Takuma tugged on his sleeve.

"Kiryuu-kun, I am so glad to see you here!" the merry blonde exclaimed.

"I'm so glad to see you alright again, Ichijou-senpai."

"I _am_ feeling very well, thank you. For this reason, I was wondering if you would accompany me for a walk. Shiki is still quite achy, so he's going to his room to rest," he saw Kaname escorting his cousin out of the room carefully out of the corner of his eye, "But I'm _dying_ to get out of that infirmary! I've spent far too much of my life in that room. But Kaname won't allow me to go anywhere alone, in case I get too tired."

"Sure," Zero shrugged, looping his arm under Takuma's armpits to help pull him out of his chair, "That would actually be perfect. I think Kain's getting fed up of dealing with me _and_ Aidou all the time, and I don't know anywhere very well."

"It would be my pleasure to give you a tour!"

They decided that indoors wasn't a good idea, when they were hampered by the busy staff in their preparations (Zero was sure there hadn't been so many staff before, but maybe they had been preparing another part of the castle. The place was certainly big enough for an army to go unnoticed!), and headed out to the gardens.

The weather was wonderfully warm and sunny, which meant that Zero had his hands full, steadying Takuma with one arm and holding a wide parasol in another. This was one aspect of Vampirism that Zero appreciated a little - he had always hated the heat, and with Vampires it was totally normal to go around with parasols without looking strange.

They headed westwards, to one of the most favoured gardens on the grounds. Takuma babbled on about how he and Kaname often played in the garden, even after being told many times that it wasn't a place for playing, but a place for taking leisurely _strolls_.

As then entered it, Zero could see instantly why they had played in it rather than _strolling_.

It was the most colourful scene he had ever seen. Flowers of every type cluttered the place in a strangely ordered mess of multicolour madness. Primroses, daffodils, hydrangeas, begonias, dahlias, tulips, blue-bells, hyacinths… Zero couldn't even name them all!

He was totally shocked when Takuma took his arm out of his and threw himself back on one of the flowerbeds; throwing himself back like it was a bed mattress.

The blonde breathed in deeply.

"Come down here, Kiryuu-kun. It smells _incredible_."

Zero considered the flowers, which were probably _flattened_ under Takuma's weight, squashed into pulp as he had thrown himself down-

He threw himself back on the flowers too.

_He could always blame Takuma_.

Grinning, he inhaled the sweet myriad of flower nectar and fresh grass. They laughed joyfully at the wonderful scene, the terrific sunshine (which was pleasant despite its threatening heat) and the comfortable company.

Zero closed his eyes, seeing the glowing redness of the inside of his eyelids as the sun shone through them.

He didn't have to struggle hard to imagine a younger, smaller, chubbier Takuma hurtling through the flowers, trampling all their delicate petals, laughing wildly and being chased by an angry gardener.

But what would Kaname have looked like?

A little Kaname was hard to imagine. He seems like he had always been a man. Zero squeezed his eyes shut. If he _tried _he could just about picture a small child with dark brown curls, but that could be anyone… he wondered what Kaname had been like.

"Do you like it, Kiryuu-kun?" he heard Takuma's voice ask.

"I do. By the way, senpai, call me Zero from now on... I feel like we're becoming friends."

* * *

><p>Kaname was waiting outside the entrance of the castle. He could see the jet black cars coming up from the bottom of the road, which was further off at the bottom of the long driveway.<p>

The Hunters still had at least five minutes to go.

He was planning to meet with Yagari Touga and plan patrols with him. He was pleased that their work together during the War had allowed them to tolerate each other better. The Hunter had been surprisingly compliant in his requests for a group of his people to come and protect a bunch of Vampires against their back-from-the-dead enemy.

He spotted the first car was now approximately two minutes away.

"Seiren," he called quietly. In an almost comical puff of smoke, she arrived by his side, bowing respectfully. "I will introduce you to Yagari Touga and his Hunters. After I have spoken with him, I want you to give them a tour of the castle. Do not leave a single place, even something as small as a store cupboard, uncovered."

"Hai, Kaname-sama."

They waited for the first car to park, Yagari leaping out of the car as soon as it came to a still.

He strode over to them whilst simultaneously lighting a cigarette and sliding it into his mouth.

Clearly they weren't warming up as friends _just_ yet, Kaname mused, resisting the urge to pinch his nose as the acrid smoke accosted his sensitive nose.

Yagari came to a stand-still in front of Kaname, pausing to bark at his Hunters over his shoulders before he stopped.

"Good morning, Yagari-san," Kaname said, offering his hand to shake. Yagari took it.

"Yeah, so let's get down to it then. He's back?"

Kaname nodded, "Ichijou and Shiki were attacked and badly wounded by him before arriving here. We were warned that he would be arriving soon enough."

Yagari's cigarette spun in his mouth as the Hunter squinted thoughtfully.

"What do you need us to do?" he finally asked. Kaname raised his head. Yagari was acknowledging them as allies still.

"I would appreciate if you and your Hunters would run surveillance over the proceedings. I want to minimize the danger as much as we can."

"Can't you call off the whole thing? That would help things."

Kaname looked around Yagari to see someone he had not expected to see, Kurosu Kaien.

"Kaien, I didn't think you'd come," he admitted.

"Well, this guy coming back requires some extra attention, doesn't it?" the Headmaster said, "So I stuck _Kaito-chan_ in charge!"

Kaname could not remember who "Kaito-chan" was, but greeted his friend with another handshake nonetheless.

"I can't call it off," he explained, "The Vampires will come regardless. They are too keen, and a last-minute note will not deter them."

Kaien nodded understandingly. "Then we have no choice but to protect them."

"Yes. I am delighted that you have arrived so quickly, but I'm afraid that I have to deal with the Council very shortly. If you don't mind, I will leave you with Seiren for a tour around the grounds."

"Of course, today is a busy day! At least I get to see you being crowned, Kaname-kuuun!" Kaien cheered, slinging his arm around Kaname's shoulders affectionately.

The King-to-be smiled grimly, he was _not_ looking forwards to dealing with the Council…

* * *

><p>"Waah, this is so fun!"<p>

Zero pushed Takuma again, and again, and again. He still got tired when he swung alone, so Zero didn't mind pushing him higher, higher, higher.

They had found the little tree swing Takuma and Kaname had played on as children, and Takuma had consequently squealed, squeezing himself onto the tiny plank of wood seat and staring at Zero hopefully.

The garden _was_ a playground. Zero could never imagine _strolling_ in it anymore.

"Okay, okay, let me down now Zero-kun!"

He stopped pushing him and waited for Takuma to slow down, watching the clods of earth he kicked up as he dug his heels in the grass.

"I _have_ to show you another garden! This one is Kaname's favourite."

Takuma took Zero's arm and literally dragged him out of the jungle garden and down another path...southwards, he thought.

_Another_ garden? How many gardens were there?

The grounds they walked across were also being worked on in some places, where lanterns were being tied to invisible threads from trees and shrubs were being trimmed meticulously.

As they neared the other garden, Zero actually smelt it before he saw it.

But it was very easy to spot.

There was a vine archway filled with blooming blood red roses that they were heading towards. Through it, he could see a large circular water basin. It was expertly made with the same pink marble the castle was built from, carved into the ground. The water was perfectly still and clear.

Takuma coaxed him into the small clearing. He grinned at Zero's awed face.

"I can tell you prefer this garden too. You _really_ don't play here."

Zero snapped his jaw shut, levelling a mock-glare at Takuma, before detaching himself from him. He felt like he wanted to explore the area alone for a bit.

It was so tranquil here, in comparison to the crazy jungle-like garden before.

It felt like even time could stand still here.

Zero shut his eyes, breathing in the overwhelming scent of roses. They were _everywhere_. No wonder the Kurans were obsessed with them.

He reached out blindly, catching a soft handful of rose petals in his palm. The texture was so smooth and perfect, he stroked it like a kitten, and felt a smile spread across his face. Even as he took his finger off the petals, he could feel the cool, smoothness on his fingertips.

Again he reached out. This time, he hit a thorn and gasped.

"That wasn't clever, Zero," Takuma chastised mildly from somewhere on his right. Zero quickly sucked the wound in his mouth and spun around to see where Takuma had gone off to.

The blonde was too stroking the petals of a rose tenderly.

"These roses make the best rosehip tea I've ever tasted," he commented lightly. Zero watched him snapping off a few of the red fruits. "I'll make some when we get back. Kaname really enjoys it too."

Zero grunted in response, _strolling_ across the clearing to the other notable feature.

It was a strange arch-like corridor, like the arch they had walked through before but _extended_. Zero wasn't sure he could tell how far it extended. And it was gated.

As he stepped over to enter it, Takuma stopped him.

"Ah, Zero, I forgot to tell you about this… this garden has a rather odd story attached to it."

"Oh?" Zero asked, peering around Takuma to look into the corridor. The more he looked at it, the more he wanted to go in it.

"Yes. One of the reasons why this is Kaname's favourite garden is because it was built for Juri."

That caught Zero's attention, "Juri? As in his mother, Kuran Juri?"

"Exactly. Kaname's father designed and built this garden for her especially for his own wedding present to her. It has remained a special place to visit, and often Kaname closes it off from other people when he comes alone to be here."

Takuma placed a hand on the gate, as if protecting it.

"_This_ is something even more special that was added onto the garden. Do you know, Zero, that we are currently standing at the top of a hill?"

Zero shook his head.

"The Kuran Castle was built on a hill, it's a classic historical vantage point during a siege, but it was more for the view, or so Kaname says.

"Anyhow, this thing here is called a _pergola_. It's basically like a tunnel archway which leads up to a pavilion. As you can see, this one is built like a bridge," he gestured to the wood-planked floor, and supposedly it leads down to an unseen location, to the private pavilion which Juri-sama used to visit."

Takuma walked to the side of the archway, tugging the gateway open slowly. Zero was confused. He thought it had been locked, which was why Takuma had prevented him from trying to enter it.

But Takuma swept his arm in the direction of the pergola, nudging Zero to enter it.

"You are perfectly allowed to go in it, Zero. It's completely safe."

"But why is it barred? I thought it was locked-"

"No. The only reason for that gate is because no one really goes in there. You see," Takuma shut the gate carefully again, "This place is literally magical."

Zero narrowed his eyes in disbelief, just as Takuma raised an eyebrow sceptically.

"Don't be dense, Zero-kun. You already are aware of the powers Purebloods possess, as well as the Hunter magic you can perform. Why is magic any less believable?"

He supposed that was a rhetorical question.

"This place seems to have built its own magic after its mistress died," Takuma said, stroking the gate bars, "It closed itself off. No matter who enters it, no one can reach the pavilion. Not even Kaname.

"Many have tried to reach the end of it, but it is _endless_. And it's _frustrating_ to be walking for hours and still be at the same place you started in.

"It isn't malicious. No one has gotten lost in it. No, it's a straight path, which you can see quite easily. But what can you see when you look into it, Zero?"

Zero peered through the bars, into the tunnel of green leaves and vines. It was strange. He was sure he was looking through the tunnel, right to the very end, but then the tunnel seemed to stretch in his eyes, and he was looking further again, and deeper, and when he reached the end, the tunnel stretched again, like a coil-

"It's _endless_ Zero-kun. Believe me. I've spent many childhood days sneaking into there, running and running and never getting anywhere. I think that place was just for her, and it will only ever be hers."


	12. Those Who Creep, That Which Scars

As Zero stepped out of the rose archway with Takuma, and the smell of roses cleared, he was immediately hit with a very familiar smell.

Cigarettes.

"Shisho!" he exclaimed, an instinctive excitement leaping in his chest as he saw his childhood teacher and mentor.

Yagari gave the merest smidgen of a smile at Zero, grunting a greeting.

"You're looking alright kid," he muttered, reaching out to ruffle his silver hair. _He must be pleased to see me too,_ Zero mused at the odd gesture of affection.

"Can't say the same," he said with a cheeky smile, earning him a huff.

Yagari turned to Takuma, reaching out without a word to hook his arm around the vampire's waist. Zero blinked. He must have missed something. This was a behaviour he hadn't seen since the War (arguably, he hadn't seen much of Yagari since then).

"Kuran sent me to collect you," he told Takuma, "Says you've been out in the sun too long."

"Ah," Takuma agreed, "Yes, I probably have. I bet he told you to send me to nap until the coronation now."

"You betcha," Yagari said in a sarcastically cheerful tone, "What am I now, a babysitter? Bloody hell…"

* * *

><p>Kain could have kicked himself when he found himself in the familiar position, crouched with his ear pressed against a solid oak door, with his cousin bundled below him at a lower perch. Every time he moved to shift his weight, Aidou would either elbow him in the gut (or close to somewhere <em>very<em> sensitive) or hiss at him to be quiet.

They were sneaking.

Hadn't he just promised himself last night that he was going to _stop_ Aidou's nosing about?

He sighed. There was no getting around it. He was stuck to Aidou like glue. They went through thick and thin together (or at least he _followed_ Aidou through thick and thin).

Currently, they had followed Kaname, finding him greeting a bunch of _Hunters_, though it had been expected. It was the first time in a while that they had encountered so many Hunters, which made Kain's skin crawl uncomfortably.

But rather quickly, the Hunters had been sent to follow Seiren around the castle, and one Hunter they recognised as Yagari Toga ran off in a different direction. They followed Kaname inside with the Headmaster, ducking behind various tapestries and decorative furniture comically, although Kain was certain Kaname and Kaien could both detect them very easily and were only humouring Aidou.

Kain had been about to drag Aidou away after one particularly ridiculous moment where they had _apparently_ managed to evade Kaname's long, sweeping glance by squirming into the tight space between a tall vase and the wall. It had been _very _cramped and Kain was a large man which made it worse.

Aidou had nagged him that they would _miss _something if they left, "he could feel it".

So they continued to tag along, and found that something _did_ happen. Kaname escorted two very well-known Vampire Council members (known for their loyalty to Kaname, since they had survived the "washing out" of the previously corrupted Council).

There was a meeting, with Kaname, two Council members, _and a certain famous __**Vampire **__**Hunter**_.

Kain knew they couldn't miss this anymore.

So he listened in as best as he could (the doors in the castle were very sound-absorbent).

All they could hear were well-mannered, calm tones of conversation. They were clearly getting along well.

"I can't _hear_ anything!" Aidou hissed, a frustrated scowl on his face.

"Neither can I, let's scram."

"No way! How can you say 'scram' when Kan- AHH!"

The door fell in.

Well, actually, _Kaien_ had pulled the door in.

The Headmaster grinned at them cheekily.

"Kaname said you two should come in. He wants you to hear this anyway."

* * *

><p>"Kaname, why are those two hiding from us?"<p>

"It's Aidou's idea. He likes to watch over me."

"That's cute! But can't they just come with us anyway?"

"…I suppose so. They _are_ some of my most trusted," Kaname cast a long glance behind him, "But sometimes I wonder why they insist on spying on me like this. It's absurd."

"…We'll make them wait outside a bit, right?"

"Of course. I wonder how long it will taks them to realise my doors are soundproofed…"

* * *

><p>Rima was perched on Shiki's bed, stroking his spiky auburn hair as he slept peacefully. She knew that he was actually probably as healthy as Takuma by now. He was just being lazy, as always, and would prefer sleeping than doing anything else.<p>

What a sloth.

She poked him in the cheek, increasingly harder until he finally opened one eye.

Sighing, he swatted her away, but she pulled him back to her, running her fingers through is unruly hair to neaten it.

"You're being immature," she said slowly.

Shiki groaned. "Let me sleep."

"Stay still, I'm going to check your face. It's probably healed like the rest of you, you big baby."

She picked off the bandage tape gently, batting away Shiki's hands every time he reached to stop her. He was being such a _baby_. She rolled the bandage from under his chin, then the back of his head, around his forehead, there was so much bandage -

She gasped.

Shiki winced. "I know it doesn't look good. I didn't expect it to."

"What happened to it?"

Rima trailed her fingers across his right cheek, just below the eye socket on his bruised cheekbone. There was a long jagged wound that was still open, welling with blood and pus. It wasn't very long, but was deep enough that it just _wasn't healing_. She pinched it shut, ignoring Shiki's painful hiss, but the edges had to stretch to meet. It was as if the flesh on his cheekbone had been gouged out.

"What did he do?"

"He used the blood whip. I tried to retaliate with my own, but you can't defeat the master, can you? He knew all the tricks, and when I was distracted, he caught me with it," he caught her hand, "Don't touch it, it burns."

Rima let go, staring at the wound for a few more moments before covering it with a new gauze and bandage. She knew she wasn't a vain girl, despite being a model, but that wound was _ugly_, and it upset her because Shiki didn't deserve it.

She patted the bandage to smooth it out, ruffling Shiki's hair again.

"It will scar," she whispered.

Shiki closed his eyes, a cleft appearing on his smooth forehead which meant that he was deeply troubled or angry.

He took a deep breath.

"I know,"


	13. The Coronation PART 1

Aidou and Kain were sat facing the two Council members, too nervous to even scratch their noses. They weren't allowed to take part in the discussion, but allowed to listen, according to Kaname's orders. Aidou blushed with pride at Kaname's trust in them, but he found the Council members very, very intimidating.

"You did receive my message regarding Rido's return, didn't you?" Kaname began.

"Yes Kaname-sama," one of them replied, "And we are sure you are planning to cancel the coronation on account of that. But our advice to you is to keep-"

"Not at all. The coronation is going ahead."

The Council member nodded, "Good. We think it's best that it does so."

"Why is that?" Kaien cut in, "Though the Hunters and I are fully prepared to support you, I would like to know why you can't minimize the potential damage by stopping the people coming."

"Rido-sama has contacted us," the other member said.

This drew a deadly silence.

"A few of the Council members, including ourselves, have been contacted by Rido-sama, inviting us to join his ranks like the last Council did. We refused straight away, knowing that if we were to simply ignore him, he would take that as a rejection too."

"Is he raising the Council against Kaname-sama again?" Aidou burst out, receiving a glare from Kaname and ending up bundled up against Kain, a hand on his mouth to restrain him.

"We don't think so, otherwise he would have forced us rather than giving us an option. It's curious, his behaviour. He's almost…playing with us."

"If he is, we need to know his game," Kaname said, "Have any of you been threatened?"

"No, Kaname-sama. He simply disappeared afterwards. It happened soquickly that we thought it had been a nightmare."

Kaname began to pace slowly.

"So, he's not after the same type of War, but he's certainly aiming to stir some sort of new battle. We just need to figure out who he's pitting against who."

* * *

><p>By late afternoon, they were all sent to their rooms to rest and prepare for the coronation, with small snacks to sustain them until it began.<p>

Zero was astounded at the number of Hunters he could sense throughout the Castle as he headed to his room. Dozens of them, scattered around the building, discreetly watching over their own portion of the Castle.

He curled up on his bed, unable to sleep, and only picking at his food a bit.

He was nervous.

Not of Rido, of the damn celebration.

Zero glanced at the wall clock, seeing that there was still an hour to go before they apparently had to meet in the great hall.

He decided to take a long shower, washing his hair twice and letting the warm water drown out the thoughts of what was to come.

It was rather funny, he found, that when most people were told the word "party" they would be excited to go, thinking a party meant _fun_. He was _frightened_.

It was the overabundance of smells and auras that he could sense which drove him mad.

His Vampire side could sense all the Hunters or Humans in the vicinity.

His Hunter side could sense all the Vampires in the vicinity.

In short, his senses went haywire with all the hundreds of people milling about. And it stopped him from feeling in control, because there were so many people he was subconsciously paying attention to, he couldn't concentrate on having "fun".

That was why Zero hated parties, or gatherings of any type.

Zero stepped out of the shower, towel-drying his hair as much as he could, blow-drying it, combing it, slapping himself for being such a girl with his hair, sliding in his earrings, wondering if they were appropriate, realising it wasn't a bloody wedding in a church he was attending, unwrapping the tux suit-

Where was the tux suit?

Zero actually squeaked (luckily no one was there to hear him) as he dug through his suitcase, even though he knew it hadn't been packed there.

_Where was the fucking suit?_

Then a small piece of paper fluttered into his vision, probably flown on the gusts of wind generated from his frantic searching through his things.

In neat writing, it said:

_Dear Zero-kun,_

_Kaname scolded me when he heard that I had given you a tux to wear! I'm so sorry for making trouble for you. I thought a tux was the necessary garment- anyhow, Kaname tells me that the Council specifically requested we wear traditional Japanese outfits. It's a pain, but if everyone's wearing them, we'd rather fit in than not, right? I'll pay you back for the rental tux, so don't worry!_

_I've found an old kimono in the store room which I've hung in your wardrobe, it's still really good quality! Since it's not fitted, I've left some pins too for you to adjust the length. Hopefully it's not too short, hehe. _(Zero rolled his eyes, he could hear Takuma laugh off the _page_)

_If you need help with the kimono, go to Kain and Aidou's. Kain is a total expert with obi. It's weird, I know._

_When you see me at the coronation, don't hit me for this, okay Zero-kun? _

_Remember, we're becoming friends! Hahaha…_

_-Takuma_

Trust a person like Takuma to _write in_ his own nervous laughter.

He took a deep, calming breath, and went to open the wardrobe, muttering curses under his breath. All that trouble with fitting the tux, and it had all been for nothing! And for some reason Takuma seemed to believe that he was _great friends_ with Kain and Aidou, or something, because he kept sending him over to _them_ for things…

Like hell he'd let Kain help him.

Zero pulled open the wardrobe doors, indeed finding rather nice looking deep brown and grey robes. The colours were nicely understated.

He rubbed the fabric between his fingers, grimacing at the starchy stiffness of the material. It felt as if it hadn't been worn very much, and it had been put away for a very long time.

But, he guessed it would have to do.

Zero was in fact quite well practised in tying obi, since he had trained in martial arts a lot with Yagari-shisho as a child.

He pulled the robes on carefully, relieved that the inside of the material was quite soft on his skin actually. They were a little long, so he took a few of the pins, turning up the hem half an inch. Then he pulled on some white tabi socks and zori sandals.

Zero glanced in the mirror. It fit quite well, even though he wasn't used to seeing himself in the strange traditional garb. He frowned, noting how anaemically pale he appeared in contrast to the dark, solid brown colour of the cloth, though the lead grey accents drew attention to his shinier, silver hair.

He looked alright.

He glanced at the clock, it was still too early- eight PM.

But he could go down early, right? He could just stick to a corner and wait for people to arrive.

Zero headed down.

As the cords began to untie, and the material began to droop, he realised that he might not have made such a good job of it. Especially when the hakama began to slip down his legs.

He backtracked to Kain and Aidou's room.

Suddenly he wasn't so sure about the obi either…

* * *

><p>The room was already full! Or at least there were already plenty of people there early, clearly too excited, therefore they had arrived early.<p>

Zero had to take a few minutes to admire the detailed handiwork Kaname's staff had managed with the room. The chandeliers were polished so brightly, with real flames dancing atop the delicate beeswax candles. Everything was polished so bright! He was sure he could see his face in the ground if he crouched down to look.

And the windows that stretched almost to the top of the tall domed ceiling acted like mirrors to the dark outside, reflecting all the faces and elegant kimonos in muted darker tones.

Glancing down, he tugged at the starchy fabric, grimly noting that he hadn't done a good job with the pins, the hem was still covering his feet.

In the bright light he managed to pick out a detail he hadn't seen before- the shimmering silk outline of dark brown roses sewn into the bottom half of the fabric. Huh.

"How's the obi?"

Zero scowled over his shoulder at Kain, dressed in slightly more copper browns accented with black. The smug redhead had had to practically rip Zero's tightly tied obi off him, iron it speedily with his hands whilst Aidou yelled insults over his head about the difference between tying an obi for a formal kimono and for "stupid martial arts". Aidou had then (unexpectedly) taken over with removing all the badly tied cords and layers, straightening them out and tugging them back on him properly; dressing him roughly like an angry mother does to a restless child.

Clearly Kain had found Zero's lack of skill in dressing himself amusing.

"It's fucking _lovely_."

Kain sniggered, loping after Aidou to supervise him. Zero scanned the room for Takuma, indeed ready to give him a little piece of his mind.

He didn't find the blonde anywhere, and it was getting increasingly difficult with the room filling up with Vampires.

But he managed to spot a flash of wild auburn locks.

He grabbed Shiki's shoulder.

"Oh, Kiryuu-kun, it's you," the redhead said, eyes looking over him slowly, "You look good."

"Thanks, you do too," _as always_. Shiki wore navy blues which made his pale blue eyes "pop" as they liked to say. "Have you seen Takuma anywhere?"

"No, well yes, but he's busy with Kaname. They're preparing his entrance."

_Of course they were._

Now Zero stuck to just sulking sullenly, every now and again glancing around the room for familiar faces, or admiring the vibrant décor.

Shiki and he managed to stand in silent peace for a long time, eventually snagging flutes of champagne to sip as they waited for things to begin.

After his third sip, a speedy hand stole the flute out of his fingers, and a gruff voice growled at him,

"Aren't you a little too young to drink, kid?"

Zero was stunned to see his shisho in full traditional dress, without his hat or any smoke, in a room full of Vampires, looking perfectly at ease in his formal black kimono.

He snatched back the flute.

"Get your own, shisho. There's plenty around."

Yagari grinned, "I'm just trying to be the responsible adult. No underage drinking," his eyes flitted over to Shiki too, who meekly placed his champagne on a passing waiter's tray.

He grunted in approval, disappearing into the crowd once more.

"I didn't realise that he was here," Shiki murmured.

"Yeah, he and the Headmaster came, because of _him_," Zero said meaningfully, taking a deep rebellious sip of champagne.

"Won't the Vampires get nervous?"

"I think it's better to be nervous than dead."

Shiki stole another fresh flute off another passing tray, clinking his glass against Zero's.

"True," he agreed.

* * *

><p>Yuuki played with her lilac silk kimono sleeves. She couldn't remember ever wearing such formal clothes, and she occupied her long wait outlining the delicate hummingbirds that shimmered on the silk in embroidered silver.<p>

She glanced at the doorway for the thousandth time, wondering how long it took a guy to dress up?

_But it's for a coronation, it's important, Yuuki!_ She scolded her impatience.

…still. She must have been waiting for at least forty-five minutes by now. By her standards she was quite impressed that she hadn't managed to ruin her outfit with her fiddling already!

Well, Ruka was sat beside her, keeping an eye on her for that to happen. Whenever Yuuki reached up to mess with her hair, Ruka would calmly take her hands and clasp them in her own in her lap, like handcuffs.

"Let me do your nails for you, Yuuki-hime," Ruka finally said, taking one of her restrained hands and pulling a nail file out of her sleeve. She began to carefully sculpt Yuuki's nails as they waited for Kaname and Takuma to appear.

She squirmed, "I wonder why it's taking so long."

Ruka shot her an amused look, "Yuuki-hime, a coronation robe is made up of many, many different pieces of cloth."

"Even more than mine?"

Ruka nodded, "And since Takuma insisted on helping him dress, it's likely that the whole thing has been made even more complicated."

Yuuki giggled, imagining a frustrated Kaname, unable to move as his friend struggled to fit the pieces of silk on him, getting more and more frustrated as things got worse.

Then, the door finally opened, and Takuma walked out, striding triumphantly.

He grinned at Ruka, "Twenty-three pieces."

Ruka raised her eyebrow, "Twenty-three pieces?" Kaname glided out from behind Takuma, raising his own eyebrow and not looking as annoyed as they had thought he'd be.

"There are definitely more than twenty-three layers," he leered at Takuma, "You don't want to know how many layers make up the underwear."

Yuuki again burst into a fit of giggles, going over to bury her face in the folds of Takuma's handiwork, resting over Kaname's chest.

The robes were magnificent, a masterpiece! Red, gold and a pearlescent white patterned the silk, with dark blues at the bottom. There was an entire scene of noble red-crowned cranes flying across the fabric, soaring through golden clouds with the red morning sun adorning the tips of their wings in iridescent gold thread. The darkness of the blues at the bottom was the change between day and night, as night spilled onto the back of the kimono. The flight of the cranes morphed into one large serpentine body of an Oriental dragon, coiling around a silver moon.

It was the perfect blend of balances, sewn, embroidered and painted onto one kimono.

And Kaname wore it like a king.

Kaname lifted a long delicate pin with one hand, gently working it into Yuuki's hair.

"A kanzashi," he explained, fiddling with it so the ornament was artistically angled in her hair. "Wisteria."

"Wisteria?"

"Takuma collected some from the garden."

She stroked touched the hair pin, tentatively trailing a finger down the strings of hanging flowers. They were real flowers! As they swayed, they released a faint sweet aroma.

She smiled winningly at Kaname, linking her arm in his.

"Are you ready?"

He nodded determinedly, "Let's go."


	14. The Coronation PART 2

**this chapter was soooo hard. ive tried to make the coronation exciting, but it ended up less smooth and cool than i had imagined.**

**but, i guess that fits my style : intentions = cool, outcome = not.**

**lol, forgive me for my inadequacy in writing quality scenes.**

**and thanks for reading! im sooo chuffed with the number of reviewers this story has got! i really appreciate it, and thank you all from the bottom (and top) of my heart.**

**enjoy (hopefully)!**

* * *

><p>Shiki placed the empty champagne flute back onto another tray. It was his fifth glass, which wasn't much by Vampire standards, especially with his commendable alcohol tolerance. Glancing at Zero… he was surprised to see him also as unaffected by the alcohol. Not even rosy cheeks.<p>

But he tapped Zero on the hand when he went to drink again, shaking his head.

They had broken the law enough for one night.

He checked his watch, staring in disbelief - it was already eleven! They hadn't even had fun, but time had flown. Shiki frowned, it had only been quarter to nine the last time he had checked. He was sure of it.

Shaking it off as a play of his imagination, he pinched Zero's sleeve, leading him towards some vacated seats. Both of them weren't the type to mingle. They hadn't spoken for _three hours_ which was quite incredible. They had been crouched in a corner of the room, leaning against the wall, sipping the free alcohol like _loners_.

Had Takuma been there, or Rima been around, Shiki might have not been acting so much like this.

But funnily enough, he wasn't having a bad time either.

He just wondered where Takuma was, and why he was taking so long.

He bet he had messed up Kaname's kimono.

_Idiot_.

"Oi, Shiki-san, are you healed up now?"

Shiki caught Zero's eyes lingering on the band-aid that still covered his right cheek.

Rima had struggled to find one big enough to cover it, without it being bulky, or too obvious. She had had to custom-cut a band-aid out of old cloth and an absorbent wad of material, and adhesive tape.

So all in all, it still looked pretty hideous.

"It twinges, but its healing."

Shiki's eye fell on a blonde head, which was only just visible, peeking around the corner of one of the ends of the grand staircase. Was he imagining a floating head? No way. The head poked out again. This time Shiki also caught sight of the face - it was Takuma. The blonde peeked around the room discreetly, then disappeared again. No one noticed this apart from Shiki.

He narrowed his eyes. What was Takuma up to?

Then there was almost a ripple over the whole room, which caused it to collectively quieten down, so that Shiki could hear the ringing of a bell - its bright chiming sound called everyone to the grand staircase.

Takuma appeared again, walking proudly down the right side, carrying something that was wrapped in white cloth on top of a large, ornate box. To Zero's surprise, everyone applauded as he descended the stairs, taking a place on the landing.

Takuma placed the box down in clear view of everyone, and then levelled the white covered object in his arms.

From the left staircase, Ruka descended in just the same, graceful way Takuma had. She carried another box, similarly shaped to the other one, which she placed beside it. She took her place beside Takuma, a demure but dazzling smile on her lips.

And then it began.

Everyone watched the Prince and Princess descend simultaneously from either staircase.

Though, Zero noted, Yuuki was the most beautiful at that moment than any other time he had seen her, dressed in a soft, shimmering lilac kimono, with a longer deeper purple robe wrapped around her small shoulders, and he could've admired her for far longer than he had - his eyes, and everyone else's were dazzled by their future King.

Kaname's robes were like a story in themselves - he could just spy a shimmering crane motif that shone with red tones from the crimson details. The warm light from the chandeliers cast a divine radiance which made him appear as if he was on fire.

His eyes were trained on them all, with a neutral, but intense expression on his face.

He already looked like a King.

The whole ceremony was pointless, Zero thought, because everyone was already treated him like a King, and he already acted like a King. It was nothing more than a formality.

Zero jumped when Kaname's eyes swept right over his area of the hall. It was like a shot of fire had lit up the air around his face for one second. Perhaps he was flushing from the heat of the bodies surrounding him. Wait, when had he moved from the wall to join the crowd?

He trailed his gaze down to his waist, where Shiki had hooked one of his fingers in a cord loop and was dragging him slowly into the crowd, mouthing something over his shoulder which he couldn't catch.

He shook his head, turning his attention back to Kaname, who had reached the bottom of the stairs, and had taken Yuuki by the arm.

The Royal siblings came to the centre of the landing, where Yuuki then detached herself from his side to give him centre-stage.

"Here, we have a better view," Shiki whispered near his shoulder. They were now in the centre of the floor space, and could see everything in great detail.

Ruka moved first, towards her box which she unlatched and opened away from their view.

She drew out a necklace, which had oddly shaped beads on it. Zero frowned at the ugly necklace. What on earth was that?

"That is the necklace of teeth of the legendary first vampire," Shiki commented lowly.

Zero grimaced. Teeth, of an ancestor…

"How primitive," he mumbled, just loud enough for Shiki to hear. The redhead raised an eyebrow, as if to say _'That _is _the point.'_

He watched Kaname bow lowly as Ruka approached him, maybe so that she could reach his neck, so she could tie that hideous necklace on him. _Teeth…_ Zero inwardly shook his head. These Vampires and their oddities.

Kaname lifted his head once Ruka had returned to her previous place. Zero eyed the nasty jewellery resting on his chest. Strangely, it didn't detract from the overall appearance.

"It symbolises benevolence."

"Teeth?"

Teeth symbolised kindness.

No. Zero twitched. He would _never_ understand the way these Vampires thought.

Takuma then went to his box, unlatching it and drawing out of it-

"Is that a dish?" Zero hissed.

Shiki smiled, "That's the Rose Shield."

_Shield? It's rather small for a shield._

Zero eyed the delicate, silver plate that was handed to Kaname. It was deep like a bowl, but without a flat base. Kaname held it with both hands, as Takuma poured some water into it - there was no splash, and the water hardly made a sound.

Kaname then gazed down at the water for a few moments. Everyone watching with bated breath.

He then raised the bowl and drank from it, the crowd applauding again. Zero was utterly lost in the proceedings.

"It symbolises wisdom, and foresight. Supposedly the water showed Kaname the future difficulties he will face, and by drinking, he has accepted the challenge."

Takuma took the "Shield" away and returned with the white cloth-covered item.

With a quick flick of his wrist, the cloth fell back to reveal a long, curved dagger.

"Hold your breath, Kiryuu-kun."

_Why?_ Zero wanted to ask, but before he could Kaname took the dagger and pierced his finger.

He gasped.

The permeating scent of thick Pure blood plunged into the room, filling every crevice and recess with its intoxicating aroma.

Zero watched as some of the crowd dismissed themselves silently, making their way to the back and out of the room - they couldn't handle the temptation. Others were visibly pinching their lips together (pinching their noses may be seen as rude) as they tried not to breathe.

Zero felt quite comfortable with the smell of Pure blood. Maybe that wasn't such a good thing.

From the corner of his eye, he could see a flash of a Hunter's profile. Clearly they were watching. This was certainly a viable trigger for attack.

_Rido hadn't attacked yet._

Zero had completely forgotten about him!

But his mind was at a completely different place right now. His eyes were still fixed on Kaname, as his finger dripped with blood, onto the white cloth that had clothed the dagger.

Takuma took the items away, reaching into the box to pull out a plain ring of metal.

"This is it," Shiki nudged him, "The final one,"

Kaname's bloodied finger reached out to touch it, the bloody colour seemed to seep into the metal. Immediately the metal shifted, and began to change shape, morphing and twisting. It was turning into the shape of a-

Crown. Of course.

And the crown was becoming was incredibly ornate. Delicate spikes rose out of the brow, curving outwards and unfolding into wings. The metal twisted and sparkled as pieces of it were pulled into metal vines, which curved back to the top of the crown. The blood colour started to clear to the pale, white gold it had previously been, and little pockets in the metal cleared further to the shimmering quality that could only be diamonds. Each alternate jewel was a dark blood red, with the largest central jewel also turning blood red, as if the blood had drained into colouring these individual jewels.

When the crown had been made, Takuma placed it on his friend's dark head.

As soon as it touched his head, the room erupted into applause, and cheering, with every face in it was beaming with delight for Kaname, for their King.

"Long live the King!" Takuma called, Kaname turning to bow to his people.

Zero laughed in delight, caught and lost in the excitement everyone seemed to share. His eyes shone with it. And as Kaname's fiery gaze swept the room, passing over him again, and fire his heart jolted upon contact, again, he only cheered louder.

Never had he felt so much, like a Vampire.

* * *

><p>Yagari tensed as the room behind the door he was leaning on erupted with noise, his hand reached for his gun. But they were happy cheers, <em>ecstatic<em> cheers even. He rolled his eyes and sipped his champagne, though he was glad nothing bad had happened.

"Ah, well done Kaname-kun," Kaien said from beside him. He sent a disgruntled glare at his mentor, but noticed that for once the old fool wasn't looking quite so ditzy. He looked like a proud father, eyes clear yet moist, mouth twitching in a wide smile.

Yagari sighed.

"Let's hope he does a good job."

"He's been doing an excellent job so far," Kaien defended, pouting. Ah, he was back to the childish-mode.

"I wonder where that bastard is," Yagari said seriously, touching his gun again.

Kaien sobered up. Yagari was getting impatient.

"He's not crashed the coronation," Kaien stated. "But we didn't know when he would strike. It might be tomorrow, or the day after-"

"How long does he expect us to wait?" _Screw the vampires_, he thought, lighting up a cigarette, "We have no obligation to waste our time waiting for one of their kind, who's screwed in the head, to show up, if we don't even have proof that he's out there!"

"What about Ichijou-kun and Shiki-kun? They were injured by _him_!"

"How can we know that? Maybe they were fooled by something else. Anyway, I think we shouldn't be waiting here, _especially_ if he's out there."

"Oh, and what _do_ you propose then?" Kaien scoffed. "We go track him down?"

He watched Yagari warily, eyes turning sharper as the answer was settled by their staring.

"Are you mad? You want us to Hunt down that murderer? He'll have the advantage!"

"No he won't. He won't know we're coming," Yagari insisted. Kaien knew his young friend had never been one to sit still, but this plan was ridiculous.

"We don't even know where he is, Toga."

Kaien tugged his friend down the corridor, far into the shadows, just in time to see the great hall's doors being opened and the flood of guests heading towards the ballroom. Some of the guests nearer to them sometimes glanced in their direction, sensing the Hunters' presence, but after their temporary alliance with the Hunters during the War, the Vampires seemed to think the Hunters weren't threatening.

The Headmaster pinched his friend's arm to get his attention.

"We're here for a surveillance job, Toga. Nothing more. If by the end of this night, everything is still okay, then, if you want it, you can go Hunt him. But for now we will stay here and guard these people, are we clear?"

Yagari nodded.

Kaien wasn't sure why Yagari was being so uncharacteristically impatient and eager to Hunt that beast, Rido. He wasn't aware of any personal grudges the man had towards Rido, but that didn't mean they weren't there.

Or maybe it was just fear, fear of an enemy they had thought dead, that motivated him.


	15. Blind Man's Bluff

The guests rushed out of the great hall like floodwaters through sluice gates, spreading into the huge ballroom and coalescing in little groups. Already there was a small group of musicians playing strange instruments that Zero didn't recognise (probably _Vampire_ instruments).

The room was even bigger than the great hall, with polished white marbled floor. The ceiling was lower and made of a material that made it mirror-like, so Zero could look directly up at himself. The height of the ceiling was to echo the music so it spread around the room. There were large windows, larger than doors that lead out to the "Winter Garden", which they couldn't see due to the dark, but which Takuma had told him was quite ordinary compared to the favoured two they had visited.

The ballroom went up two floors, with the second floor spread along the window-side of the room. The music stopped, and from this floor, Kaname descended again to the people, with Yuuki by his side.

He was bowed to by everyone he passed as he led the way to a tall throne (which Zero couldn't believe he had overlooked), where he and Yuuki sat.

The music began again, at Kaname's gesture, louder and jubilant, coaxing a few brave people to go dance.

Zero shuffled to the side of the room, far from the centre.

He detested dancing, just like he hated parties.

He wondered if he could slip away to his room without anyone noticing. He had only come for the coronation, and to see the Castle, _not_ for the after-party.

Unfortunately, as he hesitated, he had been spotted.

"Zero-kun!"

Zero spun round to see Takuma's jovial face coming towards him. _Shit. _His moment of escape had now vanished.

"Ah, Zero-kun, how did you find the coronation? Did you like it? Do you like that kimono? I'm sure Kaname will give it to you. It looks so good on you! Are you hungry, Zero-kun? There is lots of food coming-"

"Whoa, slow down!" he laughed, steadying the jittery blonde. "It was… it was really, _fantastic_, senpai."

"I'm so happy! It was so magical! Oh I could smile forever!"

Takuma's smile was infectious. The blonde grabbed Zero by the arm.

"I have to take you to him."

"Eh?" Zero yanked back on his sleeve. He glanced over at the King sitting on the throne; there was a clear boundary, like an impassable barrier between them and the rest of the room - a clear patch of ground amongst the many guests. It was practically labelled "spotlight-area". People would notice him!

"Yuuki-chan has been asking about you. She wants to see you in a kimono, come on Zero!"

Takuma was surprisingly forceful when he wanted something done. It was hard to imagine that he had been an invalid only the day before.

"Also, Kaname wanted to say that he _'told you so'_," Takuma said, glancing at Zero's puzzled face, "Look around at all the people who came _despite_ his warnings, Zero-kun. He was right. No matter what disaster he told them was coming, they would still come."

That _bastard_.

He was dragged over towards the two Royals, cursing and kicking.

"Kiryuu-kun!"

Zero stopped kicking as he heard a voice he _did not want to hear_.

Aidou, Kain and Ruka were standing nearby, the idiotic blonde grinning fiercely. Zero was dreading what he was up to.

"Kiryuu, tell me how you found it? I thought it was absolutely-"

"We have no time for you right now, Aidou," Takuma chirped, oblivious to the sputtering Aidou he left behind, "We have to go, see you later!"

Takuma tugged him along again, Zero twisting around to mouth at Kain over his shoulder, "_It was fucking lovely!"_

They eventually made it to the spotlight area.

"Zero!"

Zero was beginning to hate hearing his name being called out.

He stepped forwards, into the empty zone, to approach Yuuki, feeling a thousand eyes on his back.

"Oh Zero, you look wonderful," Yuuki exclaimed. He could see that she was itching to hug him, but knew that she should act '_like a Princess'_ so he sent her a warm smile instead.

"You look stunning," he replied, amused as she blushed. Then he felt a gravitational tug, forcing him to look to the left, at Kaname.

The King was watching him, a polite smile on his face, but some other emotion in his eyes.

Zero's smile faltered, but he forced himself to bow respectfully.

To his amazement, he heard a soft chuckle. Instinctively, anger boiled in his mind at the thought of mockery, but when he looked up, he saw Kaname's smile had warmed.

"What's all this, Zero? I thought we were becoming friends," he smirked.

Zero's face coloured, but he straightened slowly and coolly.

"Well, Kaname-sama, I thought that proper etiquette called for _respecting your King_."

"I suppose it does," Kaname said, eyes twinkling with mirth. Zero rolled his eyes. "You _do _look nice in that kimono. I'm sure I've seen it before,"

Zero glanced down at his clothes, "Well Takuma said you'd loaned it to me."

"Mm, I wore it quite a while ago. It's good to see it's in such good condition. Might you want to keep it?"

"I wouldn't mind," Zero said truthfully. The kimono was rather comfortable after he had moved around in it for a bit.

"Well, it suits you better than me. And anyhow, I'm expected to wear _this_ thing to formal events from now on."

Zero looked over Kaname's ensemble up close, stubbornly ignoring the tooth necklace, and noticed a hundred more details that he had not been able to see from afar. The kimono was truly outstanding, and added to Kaname's natural beauty, he looked like some sort of deity.

He snorted, "I was impressed that you didn't trip down the stairs with that robe, Kaname-sama."

"Hmm, it _is_ rather bulky," Kaname agreed.

"It has more than twenty-three layers!" Yuuki added, giggling as Kaname shot her a fake exasperated look.

All of a sudden, Zero remembered his place, and realised that he was chatting to the King and Princess, _in front of thousands of people_! He had been so comfortable talking to Kaname, that he had completely forgotten where they were, or that so many people were watching them and probably wondering who the heck he was to speak with Kaname so casually. His ears flushed bright pink, and he bowed again to them.

"I think I should leave you two, now," he said hastily, not waiting for a response as he darted out of the empty circle and into the crowds again. He tried to ignore the hushed whispers of "_Who is he?" _and "_Does he know Kaname-sama?"_

Zero crossed his fingers, hoping against some hope that no one would approach him with an interrogation. He was already regretting coming for so many reasons, although he was equally glad he had come to see such an incredible event.

He disappeared amongst the people.

* * *

><p>Takuma was still feeling giddy. He was swimming in the endorphins that had exploded from his brain as soon as the crown had touched Kaname's head. He could still remember feeling the crown go hot and malleable in his hands as it had morphed into Kaname's chosen crown. He pressed his fingers together, imagining the bending metal. It had been <em>magical<em>.

Nothing could beat this moment. He only wondered if Shiki had felt as ecstatic as he had. They were such close friends that sometimes he was sure they shared emotions, despite Shiki often dismissing him for being a sentimental fool.

He wanted to see Shiki as crazily hyped up as he was, or at least see his stoic face attempt to calm him down with food.

Takuma swept through the crowds, scanning the people, searching for his dear friend.

It was like he would explode with emotion if he didn't get to Shiki!

But after a few rounds around the room, Takuma's euphoria began to dissolve into a niggling feeling of worry. Where was Shiki? He wished they had been allowed phones at the moment so he could call him. His senses prickled suddenly. Something was wrong.

Where was he? Where was Shiki?

He came across Kain again and paused to ask him if he had seen him, but he said no, and Takuma was left with his worry again. Something was wrong.

Takuma spun in a circle, vertigo hitting him just behind his eye-sockets.

He shut his eyes to calm himself, taking deep steadying breaths.

Then he opened them again, and yelped.

There was Shiki, head cocked in curiosity.

"What are you doing, Taku?"

"Ah, nothing at all! I was just looking for you," he placed a hand on Shiki's back, leading him… he didn't know where he was leading him, "What were you doing?"

Shiki blinked. Takuma's eyes widened a fraction as he picked out the little cleft in the middle of his forehead.

"I…I think…" Shiki shook his head, "What am I saying?" he laughed, "I went to open the windows. It was getting hot."

Takuma's eyebrow popped in disbelief. If anything, the room was quite cold!

Suspicious, but relieved to see his friend, Takuma continued to lead him… somewhere. He still didn't know where they were going, just that he was trying to get Shiki somewhere that felt _safe_.

* * *

><p>Zero frowned, was there a breeze? Even in the midst of a group of people he was feeling a chill, which shouldn't be possible to feel through the layers of clothes he was wearing.<p>

His eyes moved to check out the windows. Not one of them was open, as far as he could see. Maybe it was the… breeze from the dancers' movements? Who was he kidding?

Something didn't feel right.

He wasn't sure if it was the coldness of the room, or the fact that the noises of people chatting was steadily quietening too. The Vampires could feel it too.

It suddenly dawned on Zero.

_Oh shit_. It's happening.

Kaname leapt up from his throne, in that same moment time appeared to pass in the blink of an eye.

No one could see how he appeared, or where he appeared from.

But standing in the room was Kuran Rido, drenched in rain and poorly clothed.

The guests all froze in fear.

Zero couldn't quite comprehend how Rido stood there, in the flesh. His mind kept being drawn back to the day he had been wounded, lying on his side with only one eye visible to witness the bastard having his heart plunged out of his body by Kaname. He couldn't _possibly_ be alive.

Rido strode in the direction of the thrones, and no one was stopping him! Where the Hunters? Why was no one moving?

Zero knew _exactly_ why no one was moving. Rido was the walking dead. You just couldn't _not _be afraid of him. The crowds parted, giving him a wide berth. In a way it was ironic, that the crowds which had been so faithful to Kaname moments ago were leaving him wide open to Rido right now, like some sort of twisted sacrifice.

Rido clapped his hands, a wolfish grin spreading across his dirtied, but perfect face.

"Kaname-kun! It's been too long!" he exclaimed, arms spread open as if he was about to embrace him.

Kaname sprung to stand in front of Yuuki, whose face was ashen and eyes clouded from the memories. _Poor Yuuki…_

"Kuran Rido, are you aware that you have been exiled from this castle?"

_Are you aware that you should be dead?_ is what Zero wanted to ask.

Rido chuckled, "You cannot keep me from my home, Kaname. It's mine to visit when I want."

Kaname's eyes narrowed to ruby slits, "This is not your home."

"Oh, I beg to disagree," Rido continued to walk in measured paces to Kaname, "I am the Head of Kuran, am I not?"

Kaname growled, "You are _banished!"_

As Rido reached within arms' length of Kaname, Zero stopped breathing.

Rido reached up towards the crown, Zero thought he was going to take it, when he simply ran a finger around the rim.

"Ah, now you are _King _Kaname, aren't you?" he said, his voice laced with amusement, "_King_ Kaname huh? Well at least I can see us as _equals_."

Kaname's jaw tightened, shifting even closer over Yuuki. Rido's eyes lit with sadistic pleasure.

"Oh, don't worry Yuuki-chan," he cooed, "I'm just greeting your brother first, I'll eventually get to you. That's how it goes, you know," his voice began to turn bitter, "King first, _then_ his Queen."

Rido pitched forwards suddenly, right into Kaname's face.

_What on earth was he doing?_

Zero wanted to yell at Kaname to _do_ something, but he found his mouth wouldn't work.

_Where were the Hunters?_

Rido sniffed, inhaling audibly and releasing a sigh.

"Mm, I thought I smelt something delicious. The blood of a Pureblood," he turned to the frozen masses before him, "Delectable. _Divine,"_ he crooned, "None of you will _ever_ taste it, but I know for one, that it is the drink of the gods, because we are the gods who make it, are we not Kaname?"

"Be quiet, and tell me why you're here, Rido!" Kaname roared.

"I smelt you make your crown," Rido said, swiftly ignoring Kaname, "That crown will never break, so long as you are alive. The crown lives for the King. The people live for the King. If you were to die, Kaname, what would happen?"

Zero tried to force himself to move, anything! Why wasn't he moving? It was like he was paralyzed by his own fear.

"If you're here to harm anyone, I will kill you," Kaname snarled, his face was twisted into a fierce expression now, "If you try to take Yuuki, _I will rip out your throat_."

Rido laughed, a horrible shrill sound.

"What happened the last time you killed me? Do you really think you can do it again? Where is my darling son, Kaname? Where are you hiding him?" Rido asked, like one would ask about the weather.

Kaname flinched, his eyes solidly trained on Rido's, refusing to give away Shiki.

Rido's expression flickered, revealing for a moment a terrifyingly cold, stoic face, before his smile returned even wider. "Senri! Senri! Come here, your father's calling!"

Zero managed to turn his head, like everyone else, to watch the redhead being extracted from the crowd by the simple device of Rido's command. He wanted to yell at Shiki not to go, but still, his voice was frozen.

"Senri!" Rido cheered, leaping down to meet his son in the middle of the ballroom, he scooped the boy into his arms for a tight hug. Across the room, Zero could see Takuma's face was unhealthily pale and strained, and Kain's amber eyes wider than ever.

Rido buried his face in his son's neck, causing Kaname to jerk unstably, reluctant to leave Yuuki defenceless but horrified by the movement.

"Mm, delicious," he said, "But unfortunately not as delicious as _Pure_ blood," he raised his voice for everyone to hear, "Because I mixed my blood with that _whore_, this child has had to suffer the unprivileged life of a non-Pureblood, isn't that right Senri-chan?"

Shiki trembled but didn't say a word. Rido didn't seem to mind. He pressed a kiss to Senri's forehead, and then leant down to mock-whisper into his ear, "Not. Good. Enough."

"That's enough, Rido!" Kaname bellowed. Zero could see his fangs had lengthened and were pressing against his lips. They'd better not bleed. "You will leave, _now!_"

Rido pulled away from Shiki, walking back up to the thrones. While Kaname was shaking with rage, Rido nimbly plucked the crown off his head, darting a few feet away before he could be stopped. It was almost ironic how easily Rido moved around Kaname resembled a teasing uncle and his nephew, only with these two there were much more dangerous intentions.

He stroked the crown and sniffed it, closing his eyes.

"Yes," he sighed, "The smell of Pure blood. None is better than Kuran. We are the only three left, you know, Kaname? And if I close my eyes, I can smell us all, our blood, our…"

Rido stopped mid-sentence, eyes snapping open. His fangs were fully elongated as he bore them in a menacing grin.

"What's this then?" he asked Kaname, "Why can I smell extra blood?"

Kaname's eyes narrowed in confusion, before widening in realisation, he swore.

"I can smell this… _mass_ of Pure blood, Kaname. What is it? It can't be a baby," he laughed, "You wouldn't corrupt your sweet sister _yet_," Rido sniffed again, whirling around the room.

What on earth was he doing?

His eyes lighted on Shiki again, and he grasped his son by the arm.

"Come help Daddy, Senri," he urged, "Sniff it out-"

"Rido,** no!**" Kaname yelled, staggering forwards. Zero frowned, he was leaving Yuuki wide open! What was he doing? "Please, no!" he begged.

"Find it, Senri," Rido hissed, patting him on the shoulder.

To their shock, Shiki wordlessly closed his eyes and began to sniff "it" out.

_Why was he listening to him?_

Shiki began to stumble blindly around, his nose perusing the air. Rido called out encouragements, while Kaname looked torn between protecting his sister and stopping them.

But time seemed to stand still as Senri stopped turning blindly, as his head was turned towards Zero.

He paused.

And then he began to careen towards him.

_**I can smell this mass of Pure blood.**_

_**Sniff it out.**_

Zero recoiled, but Rido had already spotted his movement. _Shit._

Rido's eyes gleamed.

"What's this-?"

"**NO**!"


	16. The Bond We Share

One blue eye shining with curiosity, one red eye trembling with malice.

Zero wanted to run, but his feet felt like they had melted into the floor.

Just as Rido took one step towards him, there was a ripple of power as Kaname appeared between them.

"Who's this-?"

"Step back, Rido!"

Rido's smile twisted into a vicious snarl.

"You filthy, insolent cur!" he spat, "You shared your blood with a- a _low-breed-_"

"Get _**back**_**, **Rido!" Kaname spread his arms across, obstructing Zero from Rido's view.

"Why does he have your blood? _What have you **done**_?"

Kaname roared, shoving Rido back with a blast of air that erupted from the palms of his hands.

Rido barely stumbled, striding straight back to where he'd been before.

He flung the crown in his rage onto the floor, letting it scrape and clatter against it.

"It's a crime," he said, suddenly switching personalities to a cold, clinical tone, "It's a crime to drink from a Pureblood. You know the penalty, Kaname," he stared hard at his nephew, sliding his finger across his neck slowly.

From what he could see, Zero thought Kaname was practically spitting fire by now, his face was so deadly, his eyes _inhuman-_

"Not if I gave my blood by choice!"

There was a pause, where all Zero could hear was the pounding of his heart rushing through his ears. He could imagine inside him, the cause of this - a warm belly full of Pure blood.

Rido's head tilted thoughtfully, his blue eye bright and calculating. Then his red eye gleamed, as though he had understood something crucial. He stooped to pick up the crown.

He tried to peek around Kaname to see Zero, but was unsuccessful as Kaname moved instantly to block his view. This only seemed to make the smirk on his face grow wider.

Rido leaned into Kaname's space again, his mismatched eyes boring into Kaname's appalled ones.

"I get it, Kaname," he whispered, "You've given the game away already. _I **get** it_."

He turned to speak to everyone, arms raised in the air like he was praising them.

"My dear vampires," he exclaimed, "Your new King defends a criminal, after giving him his sacred blood! He feeds this Vampire, lowest of the low, because of what? Pity? Or does this scum have some filthy secret, some blackmail on your beloved King's head?

"How we have fallen - no, how **_you _**have fallen! Look at yourselves - worshipping a phony King!"

"Is that what you've come for, Rido?" Kaname growled, "The crown? What a pitiful excuse of a Vampire you make. How you dirty the name of Kuran with your greed!"

"Oh Kaname, _Kaname_, you have no right to speak to me so. Who are you, to call me a traitor?" Rido sneered, gesturing behind him to Zero, "You gave him blood."

Kaname suddenly backed up, forcing Zero to be pressed against his back. Even with only the tip of his nose against Kaname, he could feel him imperceptibly trembling. Was Kaname afraid?

"Leave, Rido," Kaname hissed, "If you want something from me, you will talk to me, _alone_."

Rido nodded, amazingly enough handing Kaname back the crown.

"There will be a war, Kaname. And like last time, we will fight on opposite sides of it, unless you are willing to make a deal with me right now."

_There will be a war…_ Zero's mouth flapped as he still struggled to speak, but he managed to nudge his nose into Kaname's shoulder. _Do something_. _Stop this._

"What deal?"

Rido pointed over his shoulder at Zero,

"Give me him."

Zero's heart was pounding so hard now, he was certain everyone could hear it.

He flinched as Kaname's hand came behind him to grasp at his arm tightly.

Would he really…?

Kaname's grip tightened, and Zero closed his eyes, readying himself to be thrown out at Rido.

"Get out,"

Zero opened his eyes, his jaw had dropped in shock.

Immediately his mind began to whirl with the knowledge that _a war was being waged because Kaname was refusing to give him up! _His gut began to sting with guilt, before he even knew he was at fault, and he tugged at his arm weakly.

"Kaname…" he gasped, throat dry and croaky.

But Kaname ignored him. Nothing would tear his gaze from Rido.

"War..." Rido hissed, stepping further back. His fierce eyes seemed to see through Kaname, straight at Zero's crumpled face, "Do you even know what you're fighting for?"

And with that, Rido stepped back and vanished.

* * *

><p>In the moment that Rido disappeared, everything rushed back into motion.<p>

There were screams of fear from the crowds as they shuffled and collided into each other in panic, scraping at the doors to escape. As soon as the doors were open, like the floodwaters again, they piled out of them.

Meanwhile Kaname called for Seiren and Takuma, with the others instinctively gathering too.

When Seiren didn't appear, he turned to Aidou and Kain.

"Take _him_," he pointed at Shiki, "To the basement. Lock him in, I will be down there soon, but until then you will _not _leave his side _or_ talk to him, understood?"

The cousins looked completely startled at the order to lock up their friend, but with Kaname looking ready to murder, they hurriedly snatched Shiki by his arms, taking him out of the room. Shiki had barely struggled in their hold. In fact, he had barely reacted at all.

"Kaname!" Takuma cried in horror, lunging towards Shiki's retreating figure.

"Ruka, Rima," Kaname snapped, ignoring Takuma's burning gaze, "You will take Yuuki to her room. _Do not leave her side_."

"Hai, Kaname-sama," they both took Yuuki's arms in a similar fashion to Shiki, but lead the dazed girl out of the room more slowly.

Kaname swerved around, grabbing Zero quickly and snapping at the distraught Takuma to follow him, his orders leaving no space for discussion.

Zero's feet were barely touching the ground as Kaname practically scooped him up, flying down the corridors at such a fast pace, he wondered if Takuma was even able to follow them. His mind was in a similar state, moving at too fast a pace for him to make any sense of it.

But as they were moving, to his horror, Zero spotted slumped forms in the shadows. _The Hunters…_ were they dead? What the _fuck_ had happened? Where was Yagari-shisho and Kaien-sensei?

He was eventually set down in Kaname's room, near the bed, which his jelly-legs made him collapse onto.

The door slammed shut.

"Kaname, you didn't have to do that to him!"

Zero twisted to see an irate Takuma storming into the room, looking every bit as furious as Kaname.

But Kaname pounced onto his best friend, crashing him into the wall, knocking his head onto the wall. Zero leapt to his feet straight away, screaming and pulling Kaname off Takuma. It was a feeble attempt to stop a vampire as powerful as Kaname, but it seemed to be just enough to knock some sense into him.

He tore himself from Takuma, pushing Zero down onto the bed too. The three of them stood, panting like dogs, but in anger and fear.

"Shiki," Kaname spat, "Has somehow _betrayed_ us. He followed Rido's orders, and _embraced him_."

"He was possessed, it's happened before! Rido controlled him last time too."

"But he _wasn't_ possessing his body. Rido was right there, in that room with us, as was Shiki, and he _told _him things to do, _**which he did-**_"

"Shiki wouldn't do that, you _know_ he wouldn't do that!" Takuma begged. Zero could see tears wetting his eyes and felt his own heart twinge in sympathy for Takuma.

"I don't know him anymore-"

"_**Please**_, Kaname-"

"We will question him!" Kaname yelled, "And what he answers will determine what will be done to him. If he will not speak the truth, he will pay for it."

"Kaname," Zero whispered beseechingly. Kaname cast a quick glance at him before shaking his head.

"This is _treason."_

The newly crowned King looked like he was drunk on rage at the moment, swaying as he paced deep in thought. He mindlessly tossed the crown onto the bed, besides Zero, to free his hands so he could run them over his face.

Zero bit his lip.

The guilt throbbed from his gut again. Was this his fault? What had he done?

Rido had come to the Castle, spoke a bunch of nonsense, _sniffed him out_ and demanded war.

What part of any of that made sense at all?

"Takuma, I must speak with you."

Zero's eyes fell on the usually cheery vampire who was currently wiping away his tears. The blonde's expression when he looked at Kaname made Zero sceptical of how much Takuma was willing to cooperate, but clearly something in Kaname and Takuma's friendship must have convinced him to not hold grudges for the moment. It wasn't the time for them to be enemies.

"Did you hear what he said?"

Takuma nodded stiffly, "I heard it all."

Kaname's voice became so quiet that Zero had to strain his ears, "So you understand what has happened?"

Takuma also whispered, "I do, but I don't understand why you wouldn't tell me."

"I apologise, but it was meant to be a secret from everyone, my friend," for the first time since they entered the room, Kaname's expression began to soften in apology.

"Well I do understand your reasoning, however I still find myself slightly insulted," Takuma whispered, tilting his head in disappointment.

"Don't be. I regret not telling you anything, but it was to protect you, do you understand?"

Takuma rolled his eyes, "Of course I do, I know the way you think, Kaname."

Zero was growing annoyed. Why were they whispering in code? Were keeping things from him? He glared at Kaname, "Oh _for god's sake_, speak at a normal volume, alright? I've heard everything you've said, and I don't understand your code anyway."

Kaname and Takuma started, as if they had forgotten he was even there. Zero was offended.

Both of them kept glancing at Zero as they began to speak in speeds that exceeded Zero's comprehension. He groaned in annoyance. Damn these vampires!

He yanked on Kaname's robe, "Tell me what the fuck is going on, damn it!"

The brunette narrowed his eyes contemplatively, slowing down his words so Zero could finally understand them.

"…we need to keep him safe," Kaname said, Takuma nodding in agreement, "After what the public has seen and will think, he will need to disappear. We'll keep him here-"

"Whoa, whoa, are you talking about _me_?" Zero snapped. "Explain," he shook Kaname's arm, "Now!"

Kaname untangled himself from Zero, and sat down beside him, beckoning Takuma to sit on Zero's other side. Now that he was surrounded, he felt even more ill at ease. What were these vampires doing to him?

Takuma clasped his shoulder.

"Zero-kun, you are aware now that Rido knows that you are feeding from Kaname?"

Zero nodded. He _knew _that was a bad thing. Vampire culture stated that drinking from a Pureblood was incredibly taboo. He knew he was in trouble for doing it, but it had been Kaname's choice, hadn't it? He knew however, that from Rido's perspective, and probably the rest of the Vampires' perspectives, he looked like the one "In the Wrong" though.

Life sucked.

"Yeah, I'm in trouble for that now, aren't I?" he muttered, "I've broken a Law, haven't I?"

"Yes. To drink from a Pureblood is _very_ 'frowned upon', Zero-kun. Now the public might think of you as a criminal. You cannot roam free. They will be looking for you, and you'll have to pay the price."

"What is it, death?" Zero joked, yet his tongue felt heavy as he spoke the word.

Kaname took his other shoulder, comfort seeping from his touch.

"You will have to stay here, at the Castle. It's the only safe place for you,"

Zero took a deep breath. He was going to have to stay there, because he was _Wanted_.

"Go on," he muttered.

Kaname and Takuma shared a few hasty glances and seemed to have a silent conversation over his head.

"Does he know?" Takuma asked finally.

"No," Kaname answered, squeezing Zero's shoulder, "And he doesn't need to know."

"He needs to understand, Kaname. Zero-kun has the right to know why Rido is threatening _war_ over his head-"

"_He doesn't need to know!"_

Kaname abruptly drew Zero to him protectively, despite Zero kicking and punching at him all the way.

"Tell me what it is, Takuma," Zero demanded, twisting in Kaname's hold to glare up at him, "And don't you dare stop him!"

He almost stopped when he saw the devastated expression on Kaname's face, which was comprised of a mixture of shame, fear and desperation.

"Rido knows that you have Bitten Kaname. Do you know the significance of Biting, Zero-kun?"

Zero frowned.

"Biting is a binding contract. Once someone has been Bitten, they are bound to that person by their life."

Zero's jaw dropped and the colour drained from his face.

_T-That meant…_

_He_ had Bitten Kaname.

_Why the hell hadn't he said anything?_

"What the fuck, Kaname?" he shrieked, shoving against Kaname, who still wouldn't loosen his grip. "You're bound to me? Why didn't you tell me? I have the fucking right to _know_!"

"Please Zero-kun, this isn't the important part. What you must understand is that Rido is going to seek you out to get to Kaname. He is bound to your life, therefore if you are taken, so will he be taken-"

"Can't we undo this bond?" Zero pushed at Kaname's stubborn arms. _Why wasn't he letting go?_ The irony of the position he was in was _ridiculous._

"No. A Bond can never be broken. Kaname is bound to you in a one-way Bond. Until you allow him to bite you, his life lies with you. If you become fully bonded, your lives will be each others."

"Who made these fucked up rules?"

"That's just the way it is, Zero-kun," Takuma smiled apologetically, "That's just the way it is."


	17. To Feel, To Keep, To Protect We

As soon as Zero's body slackened in his hold, exhausted from kicking, screaming and clawing at Kaname through his robes, Kaname laid him down on the bed and left the room silently. Zero was numb and unresponsive - the expected reaction of a man told he was on death row, but until then Zero had not known he was _bound for life_ to a Vampire he had only just begun to not hate.

It was almost as bad as that to Zero; life at the moment held no justice, as he was bound to a Pureblood, one of those creatures that had damned his life once already. There was no visible freedom in his future.

It didn't occur to Zero that his part of the Bond was numb- he couldn't even feel it. He hadn't even known the bond existed until they had told him last night.

It was very different for Kaname, who could feel the Bond stretching out as he walked further and further away, like he had for the many times he'd walked away after feeding Zero.

But this time, the Bond tightened like a leash around his neck when he reached the end of the corridor, barely twenty metres from Zero's room.

It had shortened again.

Kaname gasped, feeling the Bond choke him in punishment as he tried to push forwards. He was like a dog, he realised. He had angered his master, and now, as if the leash was being tugged back in malicious anger, the Bond did not want to let him go.

But there were things that he had to do. He had no time to wait for Zero to forgive him.

He couldn't let this little _hindrance_ stop him, especially when time was of the essence.

Kaname grit his teeth against the suffocating pain as he braved through the agony of pushing past what felt like a metal wire (a far cry from the fine-spun gossamer thread it had used to be) cutting into his neck and gut. It was a physical sensation despite nothing being there- the blood vessels in his neck bursting around a bruise, the heavy weight on his gut squeezing all the air out of his body-

He would've died if it had been real. The wire would have sliced clean through his neck, from all the agonising weight he had pushed against it.

And one shaky step later, and he was on his way.

Kaname didn't bother rubbing away the stinging imaginary bruise on his neck.

What pain was real?

The only thing Kaname knew was that while he had just been through self-inflicted torture, denying the Bond's will and suffering for it-

Zero was lying barely twenty metres away had not felt a thing.

* * *

><p>Shiki eyed his guards, his friends, with guilty eyes. He knew what he had done.<p>

It made him feel sick.

He had betrayed them, his friends. Kaname… he dreaded facing him the most.

After what felt like hours, Kaname appeared at the entrance to the basement. His face showed no emotion as he approached the cell, yet Shiki quivered with fear.

"_Explain_," Kaname barked.

"He cursed me, Kaname," Shiki pleaded, "It wasn't my fault."

"Tell me what happened, Senri," Kaname spoke rationally, "No punishment will come to you if you have done no wrong."

Senri whimpered, but recalled the flashes of memory of _what he had done_ that had burst forth in his mind as Rido had kissed his forehead.

Guilt bit into him again.

"Speak," Kaname urged.

"I thought three hours had passed in the blink of an eye," he whispered, "I had attributed this to the alcohol I had drunk. But Rido showed me different.

"It was at a quarter to nine when I lost track of time. I could not have remembered it if Rido hadn't shown me it again. I had been standing with Kiryuu, when I dismissed myself and left the great hall.

"For the next three hours, I caught every Hunter, unaware and trusting, and drugged them or ambushed them in the dark. I lied to Yagari-san and Kaien-sensei," his face flushed hotly, "I told them that the Hunter Association had called for them, asking why they had taken the Hunters with them unauthorised. I returned to Kiryuu's side when they had all been either knocked out or sent away.

"Then when we left the great hall to the ballroom, I slipped away to the upper floor of the ballroom, and opened a window for Rido to come through…

"I was not in my own mind, Kaname. I swear, it was like watching my body being moved around like a puppet. I couldn't stop him, what he made me do-"

"I believe you Senri."

Shiki sobbed in relief, reaching through the bars towards Kaname, but the King recoiled from his embracing arms.

"I can't, Senri. You must understand that you are a danger to me, and to everyone. As long as Rido can control you, I have no choice but to treat you like a spy," Kaname's face mellowed, "But you won't be punished. And I will send for your things to be brought down here."

Shiki nodded. It was a small price to pay, compared to what most Purebloods would punish him with. Kaname was truly kind-hearted.

"I must go and check on those Hunters now. Aidou, if you aren't too tired, I would appreciate you watching him for a little while longer. Kain, come with me."

"Hai Kaname-sama," they chorused.

Kaname clasped them on their shoulders, Shiki felt a stab of jealousy at his loss of comfort, but took it as his punishment.

As Kaname reached the stairs leading up the basement, he paused, turning back to Shiki.

"Do you have any idea, any at all, on how Rido could be controlling you?"

Shiki was taken back to the days when he had been possessed by his father, but those days were a blur, hazy and unfocused. He could barely remember anything that had transpired during that period, and named them as "blackouts". Before they had started, he had been taken unknowingly to face the bloody remains of his father, sitting in a vat of blood and fluids. His body had been stolen then, and only glimpses of what his father had done, whilst possessing his body, haunted his mind.

This time, he could hardly fathom how Rido was controlling him.

Rido had been far away, with his soul fully contained in his _own_ body.

He couldn't have _possessed _Shiki, but had it been some other sort of control?

Then, it hit Shiki.

He remembered what his father had whispered into his hair as he had kissed it.

Shiki's lips trembled, "Kaname, he told me…" he touched his cheek gingerly, "_'I am your scar'_."

* * *

><p>It had taken Yagari Toga and Kurosu Kaien four hours to reach the Hunters' HQ, round up the members of the Association Board and explain to them why their Hunters were being loaned to the Vampires at the moment.<p>

They had both been totally bemused when the Board had listened to their explanation, without asking at all for any permits, and when they had asked about the message, there had not been any message sent.

That was when things started to go downhill.

Another message came to them from the Castle, with a detailed report on the invasion of one Kuran Rido, and his declaration of war on Kaname, neatly written in Takuma's cursive.

Written on a separate piece of paper was Kaname's note, telling them _everything_ about the threats to Zero and Rido's underlying intentions.

By the end of all this, Yagari was ready to return to the Castle in _under an hour_ (motivated by his incredible _rage_) and beat Kaname into shit.

Their Hunters were unharmed, but had been _drugged_. Rido had wreaked havoc _without them being there._ Zero's _**life**__ was in danger._

Kaien had to stab several of Yagari's pressure points, tie him up with seven ropes _and_ stick some restraining seals on him to hold him down.

Then he had talked Yagari to reason.

Kaname hadn't known anything about them being sent away. It had been Rido's manipulation of an unnamed Vampire who had mislead them (he had to talk extra about the _"consequences"_ Yagari would have to face if he killed some high-ranking vampire).

And the part about Zero…

Kaien found himself struggling to appease the enraged Hunter, who was already bucking himself out of the third rope.

The thing about Zero was extremely unfortunate. Neither Kaname nor Zero should be put to blame. Kaname was only trying to save Ze-

"He fucking showed him off as a target to Rido!"

Kaien frowned, shaking his head. "No, it was that other vampire who revealed him, Kaname wrote-"

"_Kaname_ wrote! _**Kaname**__!_" Yagari roared, "I don't trust this Kaname bastard, Kaien! He's fucking messed everything up. Zero didn't do anything to deserve this!"

"It may not matter to you, Toga, but Zero _has_ done something. He has drunk blood from the King of the Vampires, the purest of the Purebloods. He has stolen what is considered a _treasure_ to the vampires, and bound Kaname to his own life. Whether he did it unknowingly or not, he plays some part in this."

"He didn't know, he couldn't have," Yagari shook his head. Zero hated those vampires. He wouldn't have willingly gotten himself into their business like this.

Kaien sighed, thinking exactly the same thing. _What are you doing, Zero-chan?_ he wanted to ask. It wasn't in Zero's nature to do something like this. He didn't understand it. The Zero he knew would never have _dreamed_ of asking someone like Kaname for blood. _Especially someone like Kaname_. Why would he do this when he had the blood pills?

He gazed affectionately at his friend, still bucking wildly in his restraints, like a mad bated bull. He would not give up. He would _never_ give up, for Zero. Kaien's old heart hummed with compassion as he recognised the same feelings he had for Yagari, Yagari had for Zero - the love of a father to a son.

From the moment Kaien had seen Yagari cradle Zero's small, bloodied form, after the Kiryuu Massacre, he had known that Yagari's life would from then on revolve around the boy. Even as Yagari had handed Zero to him to care for, his eyes had held a promise, to always protect Zero where he could, even if he couldn't trust himself to raise him.

It hurt Kaien greatly to tell Yagari that they could do nothing.

Kaname had written clearly in his note, the chances that Zero faced, if he were to leave the castle. The possible outcomes were grim. The public would have already spread the news by now, not just of Rido, but of the strange lowly Vampire who was stealing blood from their new King. He would be hunted down on sight, and would immediately be executed.

Not to mention Rido, who was no doubt keeping an eye out for Zero. Zero was now a liability to Kaname, if he was to be kidnapped by Rido, and killed, then Kaname- by proxy of the bond, would die too.

"Toga, this isn't over," he said, crouching down to look up at the young man's troubled face. He tenderly brushed some of his bedraggled locks away from the eye patch Yagari wore. "We still have a duty, to help Kaname get rid of Rido."

"The hell we do!" Toga renewed his fighting vigour, working now on the fifth rope. Kaien winced as he saw the raw skin that had been rubbed off and the rope burns that were beginning to blister. He quickly pinched another pressure point near Yagari's sternum which made him release a pained yell, and his stomach slumped concave as he gasped for breath.

Kaien certainly didn't have to think hard to figure out where Zero had got his _immense_ stubbornness from.

"There's no way we'll help that shithead to kill Rido. The last time we left it to him, look what happened! He came back!"

"Only a Pureblood can kill a Pureblood," Kaien reminded him, "So our best chances are with Kaname."

Yagari's face twisted in an ugly grimace as he struggled to find a way out of _that_ fact.

Finally he glared venomously at Kaien.

"If there's no other choice, we'll have to do it," he grumbled.

Kaien nodded, "Otherwise he'll always be looking for Zero," he added, hoping to build some rapport with his stubborn friend.

"Kaien, you heard what the Board said though."

The Board hadn't been impressed with one event of last night in particular- the manipulated Vampire who had knocked out _all of their Hunters_.

They had demanded that the Hunters be brought back immediately, and any work between Hunters and Vampires to cease until they were repaid for the betrayal.

They were unlikely to now agree to take part in the war.

"We will have to persuade them," Kaien shrugged, "They know it themselves- whenever a war involving Vampires comes about, us Hunters will have to get involved too. There's no way the Humans will not be dragged into this somehow, and it's our duty to protect them."

"So our part in the War will be to defend the Humans?"

"It seems that we can serve no other purpose. The Board refuses to let us take a fighting part in the war," Kaien grinned, "However, it didn't say anything about us fighting in _defence_. We'll fight for the Humans, when the time calls for it, Toga," he said, beginning to unwrap the ropes. Yagari shook them off, growling at Kaien, "We'll fight for Zero."


	18. In Caverna

_He had stopped having fun at least an hour ago, when getting lost was less of a game of "chase" with the adults, and more of a horrible, never-ending mistake. The adults seemed to have given up looking for him. Did anyone even know that he had gone? _

_Zero regretted not telling Ichiru where he was going._

_Or, at least, he regretted telling him the _wrong _location of where he was going. At the time he had wanted to lead him and the annoying adults off. He wanted to explore the gorgeous forested scenery _alone_, without a little brother to watch out for. _

_He knew he loved his brother more than anything else, but it was tiring to keep watching out for his feet, making sure he wouldn't trip on the tall tree roots or cut himself on rocks on the ground. It took the fun of exploration out, if he had to always look back over his shoulder, to make sure Ichiru was still healthy and well-rested._

_Sometimes Zero just wanted to be free to go as he pleased. _

_He was sure it would be wonderful to be so independent- that is, until he had gotten lost, and even more lost, and now he didn't even know which direction his parents were…_

_But he remembered his shisho's words of inspiration:_

"_A Hunter must never show their fear. It will make them weak to any predator that may be about."_

_He wouldn't be afraid! He still had his compass with him. Sure, it was rather wonky, and plastic, and the North was wrong, according to shisho… his uncle had laughed when he saw it…_

_Zero's small, aching feet trudged along a narrow rocky path at the foot of the mountain._

_There was only one mountain in the forest, so he knew if he was to climb it, he would be able to see where he was. But he also knew that it would be stupid to climb a mountain without any equipment, so he figured if he stayed there, they would eventually find him. (if they were looking)_

_In one hand was the useless compass, the other he held to his forehead, to block out the sunlight. It was noon now, and he hadn't had any food! Well, he wasn't really hungry, although his mother would be arguing to him about "eating to grow up well" with him right now, at the dining table…_

_Shisho had always said to keep moving. When you feel tired, you keep moving. Once you stop, and rest, your body has to work harder when you want to move again, and you get tired faster. Moving will make you faster._

_So Zero kept walking on, despite not knowing where he was, or where he was going._

_Trails of tears kept falling down his face, but he just licked the tears away and kept walking._

_Walking, walking, walking-_

_Zero yelped as his foot crunched on something._

_He checked his shoe, which was still intact, and then the thing he had stood on-_

_What _was_ that? The image kept flickering and going out of focus. Zero rubbed at his wet eyes angrily. _

_Reaching down, he lifted the object in his hands. It was heavy, so he had to put down the compass. It was cold and smooth, and he felt over it with his dirty hands, feeling small ridges and grooves, and up along the object was a small part that stuck out smoothly. His eyes were still blurry though. He blinked them quickly, but did not want to wipe them again, now his hands were_ really_ dirty._

_Zero reluctantly looked for someplace to place the object, other than the ground. He didn't want it to get broken by someone bigger than him. He was lucky that because he was small he had not smashed the object with his weight._

_Then he caught sight of it. A small hole in the wall of the mountain. His heart pricked with excitement. _

_He carefully set the object down beside the entrance and took his compass back, eyes flitting back to the entrance again and again. Adventure. He had come out looking for it. He'd watched films about treasure-hunters who squeezed into tiny cracks to find treasures hidden in the caves they lead to._

_Could this be one of them?_

_Zero walked through the entrance, wincing at the musty smell of still, wet air and the sudden darkness. But he wasn't afraid of the dark, so he reached for the side of the cave wall, and proceeded to edge forwards slowly. He couldn't wait to tell Ichiru about this!_

_Zero walked through a path that was gently sloping downwards, the air getting colder and colder the further he went into the mountain. _

_But soon enough, he tripped, blindly in the dark, and tumbled down the slope into puddles of freezing water, and bumping against every sharp corner until he was bruised and bloody._

_Zero decided he could cry at this point, so he did, to comfort himself. What a stupid plan it had been, to _explore_. Shisho would be so disappointed in him, and he would most certainly be punished by his mother and father._

_Still, Zero suppressed his sobs and drew himself up again, wincing at his bloodied knee that was gross and oozing thickly. Shisho had said that you should always wash a wound as soon as you could to prevent infection, so Zero followed the sound of drips, eyes narrowed as he began to notice the darkness clearing. _

_He found himself in a large cave at the end of the tunnel he had come through. It had a really tall ceiling. Zero couldn't tell how high it was. He could see at the very top was a large crack, a shaft of light streaming in and filling the place with cold blue light. The walls of the cave were trickling with water in some places, so he made his way over to soak his sleeve in it, and daub his knee tenderly._

_Suddenly Zero heard a strange noise. _

_He whirled around. It had been completely silent, apart from the running water, and his own noises. But he had been still. Was there a creature in the cave? He began to cry silently again._

_Then he caught sight of a strange rock formation in the centre of the cave. _

_As he approached it, he saw that it wasn't a _natural_ rock formation. It was a slab of the cave's stone, carved into a long box-like structure. Was it the treasure? Zero brightened up a little bit, but approached the stone carefully still, wary of the sound he had heard before._

_As he got closer to it, the top of the rock slab appeared bumpy, with odd shapes, not smooth like the sides. There was a small platform stair leading up to it. He went up and leant closer to the box, finding it filthy. Zero took a huge breath and blew off the dust._

_He screamed, but quickly quietened down. It was only a rock carving!_

_On the top of the box lid was a carving of a man's face, moulded and smoothed over so it was realistic like the statues Zero had seen at the Roman museums. What a strange box! It had a man on it. Zero trailed a finger over the nose of the man with his little fingers, marvelling at the cool, smooth stone._

_He grinned, stepping back. He didn't even feel like opening the box anymore (not that he _could_, since the box lid was bigger than himself, and was likely to be made of heavier material too). This man statue was enough of a discovery for himself!_

_He blew at the rock again, gasping as he discovered that there was a crown on his head. _

_He had found a _prince_ statue! Zero's chest puffed with pride. He bet no one could _ever_ say they had found a prince statue like this! _

_The crown wasn't connected to the rock, Zero found, as he poked at it. In fact, it was a separate piece from it- it was a real crown!_

_Oh, he couldn't wait to tell Ichiru about this._

_But then, that noise sounded again, and it was much closer this time. _

_Boom!_

_Zero jumped, leaping back off the platform. What was that noise? He scampered around the platform, cupping his ears to listen for the sound. It sounded like a drum._

_Zero circled the platform to find _another_ statue on the other side! It was a different one, not raised on a box like the first one, but flat on the floor. _

_He made his way over to it, but just as he reached within a yard of it, he heard it again._

_Boom!_

_Zero stepped back. Something wasn't right about this. He felt his skin crawl as he stared at this statue. It was suddenly very scary in the cave. He was afraid._

_There was something frightening about that noise. Zero wanted to leave._

_He turned around, looking for the tunnel, and started to head towards it._

"_Nnnn…"_

_Zero jumped. A monster! There was a monster in the cave! It must have been watching him in there! Zero yelped as he tripped on himself, but he ran through the tunnel, eyes squeezed shut in the darkness. _

_He couldn't let it get him. He couldn't let it get him. No, no, no, no…_

"…no, no, no-"

"Kiryuu-kun! _Zero_!"

Zero gasped, wrenching away the covers as he struggled to sit upright. A hot hand pushed against his back, patting his back roughly as he gasped for breath.

"Blimey, Kiryuu! You were having a bad nightmare there. I've been shaking you for ages."

Zero looked blearily at the side to see the wild, redhead, Kain Akatsuki, leaning over him with a devilish smirk. Out of instinct, Zero punched at him and scowled, hating the blush that crept over his face. He was totally humiliated in front of one of the people he detested! Life wasn't fair.

"What were you dreaming about?" Kain asked, his smirk slipping away to real concern. Zero watched him with a guarded expression. He really didn't want to give him extra material to bait him with. He already knew anything he said was very likely to be passed onto Aidou, and then he would _never _hear the end of it.

But something about Kain's concerned expression told Zero that he probably had been reacting very badly to the nightmare. It certainly hadn't been a regular nightmare. In fact, Zero was sure he hadn't dreamt it for years.

"It wasn't really a nightmare," he told Kain. "Just a bad dream."

Kain's eyebrow popped in disbelief, and his jaw tightened, probably to stop another smirk. "If you say so Kiryuu. Takuma came by with some food," he gestured to a plate of mochi.

Zero frowned. That wasn't going to be enough to feed him, now that he was _hungry_.

Maybe he could go down later to get some more food, he mused, wriggling around in the bed to reach the plate more easily. He looked down, surprised to find himself still in the kimono he had borrowed, which was now crumpled badly. He grimaced at the thought that he had slept in the same clothes.

He ate the mochi in seconds.

Kain whistled loudly, "Well, you liked _those_."

Zero rolled his eyes, hearing his stomach growl for more. He leapt off the bed gracefully, springing up and strolling around to where he thought the bathroom was. He opened the door. It was a closet.

"That one," Kain pointed at the opposite door. "There are some casual clothes in the cupboard there. I'm sure Kaname won't mind you borrowing them."

Zero made a face at Kaname's name being spoken, but nodded thanks to Kain. He barely spent any time _staring in awe_ at the luxurious bathroom, with its Jacuzzi sized bath and modern installed studio lights. He just showered quickly, dressed and re-entered the bedroom.

_Kaname's_ bedroom. He sniffed the air. Yes, it smelt like him _everywhere._

Immediately he went to leave the room, but Kain was at his side in an instant.

"Where are you going, Kiryuu?" he asked seriously, his hand holding the door shut.

Zero scowled, "What, am I not allowed to leave this room? Seriously? What does he take me for, his prisoner?"

Kain copied Zero's expression, "Kaname told me to watch over you."

"Yeah, well you can do that when I'm walking out of here," Zero snarled, shoving him off the door and stepping through it into the corridor.

"Kiryuu!"

Zero ignored him, striding down the corridor, to the left side. He had no freaking clue where he was heading, but he just wanted to get away from that _room_.

"Kiryuu, you can't run off like that," Kain cried, grabbing hold of the back of his shirt.

"Relax. I was barely two feet from you, and I wasn't going to 'run off' anyway. Kaname and Takuma have made it quite clear to me that I'm to stay 'safe' in this castle, so don't worry. I wasn't even going to try to run away."

Kain released his shirt, following after Zero's footsteps carefully.

"Oh? Then where are we going?" he asked curiously.

"We're going to get some more food," Zero said, grunting as Kain grabbed him by the shirt again. This time, he was turned around and pushed the opposite direction, down the _right _side of the corridor.

* * *

><p>Kaname sat down on the hospital bed, smiling at the doctor reassuringly. He eyed the edgy nurse and her needle warily, not liking at all that her hand was shaking so violently.<p>

"Have you done this before?" he asked gently. She nodded vigorously. "Then you shouldn't have to worry at all. This is the first time I've ever done this. You are completely the expert here," he lied.

The nurse smiled shakily, shuffling a little closer to the intimidating Pureblood.

She lowered her head, "A-Are you sure you want to do this, Kaname-sama?"

Kaname nodded, pulling his sleeve up his pale, white forearm confidently. "I am. And I have complete faith in you, Mizuri-san, so you needn't be so nervous."

She nodded, biting her lip as she steeled herself for the job at hand, taking one deep breath through her nose before she held her breath, the needle pierced Kaname's skin.


	19. What Friends Can Do

There was the sound of pencil lead scratching on paper in rough scribbles, the pencil being hastily dropped, and a frustrated curse spat out. Then the young blonde scrambled over to the beaker, labelled "_no this one damn it"_, lunging under the scalding hot tripod to twist off the gas knob. Immediately the plume of bubbles slowed down in ferocity in the beaker, and the white particles in the cloudy liquid began to settle.

Aidou lifted the beaker with a pair of wooden tongs, taking it to cool in an ice bath.

He returned to his first experiment, this beaker labelled "_this one"_, and continued to drip feed it through his meticulously fluted filter paper funnel, watching the white precipitate collect on the filter.

It was this white solid that he was after.

After he had poured all the contents in, he let it drip dry and turned to his third experiment. Well, this one was hardly an experiment. He grounded a small lump of white powder with mortar and pestle into fine powder.

Then he folded the paper in half, tapping the paper so the powder so it collected in the middle. He poured some of the powder into a glass of water, stirring the contents with a glass rod.

The powder dissolved into a light, pinkish solution.

Aidou sipped it, humming thoughtfully.

"Does it taste any better than the old ones?"

Aidou whirled around, almost smashing into the experiments. Kaname entered the lab wearing the mandatory white lab coat and safety specs, walking to the bench Aidou was working on and taking a stool. He folded his long limbs over and under the bench so he was resting his head on his hands, watching Aidou's experiments thoughtfully.

Aidou took another sip. He stuck his tongue out at Kaname.

"Nah, it's just as bad, Kaname-sama. This time I've substituted a few of the chemicals with natural herbs. I'll just go and test this sample," he said, taking the remaining powder to another beaker of water.

Kaname watched him swirl the powder in, turning the water pink.

Aidou scooped some small vials of the solution, and then turned to the Pureblood. Kaname came to check on Aidou, not frequently, but not rarely either. But this visit was unexpected, especially with everyone aware that Kaname was currently under a _major_ workload with all this Rido-business.

"What brings you here, Kaname-sama?" he asked conversationally, turning to place the vials in a small holder.

Kaname let his head slide down into the crook of his arm, sighing heavily.

"To be honest with you, Aidou, I came here to rest."

"To a _lab_?" Aidou asked incredulously, "It's not the safest place to rest, you know-"

"I have nowhere else to go," Kaname frowned, "I don't know if Zero has left my room yet, or where he may be wandering. I'm trying to make myself scarce. No doubt he would hate to see me right now…"

Aidou frowned too. Kaname's tone sounded almost mournful, and with his shoulders hunched in his strange position, slumped over the bench, Aidou was sure he was going to get terrible back pain if he slept like that.

Especially with those ridiculous safety specs on- he would get a specs print on his face.

It made Aidou mad that Kaname was so concerned with pleasing Zero when it should be exactly the opposite. That idiot hybrid Hunter-Vampire had done nothing but bring them trouble.

Kaname shouldn't care about him at all.

But he could see Kaname staring off to one side, he could practically _see_ the thoughts floating through is head. Constant worries, pressures, duties… he wondered how much of his thoughts consisted about Zero (he seemed to tick the box of all of those types of thoughts).

He had to distract him from his thoughts.

"Where are the others?" he asked, noting down the vials' volumes.

Kaname blinked blankly. Aidou's frown deepened. Kaname must be really stressed and tired to be acting like this.

"Kain is with Zero. Yuuki is in her room. I sent Ruka and Rima off to inform the Vampire Council about everything. Shiki is… Takuma is with him."

Aidou's eyes widened, "Is that wise?" he asked, referring to the last two people.

"I trust them. But yes, I agree it's risky. I've instructed to Takuma that he will meet me in my study in…" he checked his watch, "…fifteen minutes. They'd have been together for only a half hour then."

"Still," Aidou worried, "Perhaps it isn't wise to leave them alone. You know how close they are. Ichijou trusts Shiki so much."

Kaname nodded sternly. His frown was almost permanent on his forehead.

"I know, Aidou, but I've been so harsh to them in the past few hours. They needed some time together."

_Kaname_… Aidou thought, _you're too kind. Somehow I fear it will be your undoing._

"Can I rest here for a little while then, Aidou?"

_It's _your_ laboratory_, Aidou felt like saying, but he nodded, halting Kaname with one hand. He scurried off to a cabinet, bringing back a stack of books and lab coats. He quickly built a platform with the books and padded it with the folded lab coats- a make-shift pillow.

At least Kaname's head would be elevated from the table, where many chemicals might be still.

"These are fresh from the dry cleaners," Aidou said, patting the lab coats, _perfectly clean_.

Kaname sent him an incredulous look, before collapsing into a fit of laughter.

Slightly affronted, Aidou patted the lab coats pillow again, "Come on, _sleep_."

Kaname obediently laid his head on the _pillow_, snuggling into the lab coats comfortably. "Very comfy Aidou," he purred, shutting his eyes. Aidou grinned, reaching to ruffle Kaname's hair, like he would Kain's. He froze with his hand barely centimetres away from his hair, stunned as he realised, this was the first time he had _ever_ ordered Kaname to do anything before!

_Sleep_. He finally settled a hesitant hand on Kaname's head, ruffling it only a little, and then walking off to conduct the rest of his experiment.

With all the commotion happening everywhere, maybe what Kaname had needed was a friend to be with, to watch over _him_ as he slept.

Aidou hoped he had done an adequate job.

* * *

><p>Shiki watched the bundles of thick duvets being smoothed on his mattress. Already the rather dank cell had been cleaned properly by the maids and Takuma had dragged rugs down to cover the cold floor. He would have helped Takuma with the furnishings, but Takuma was like an orderly hurricane whenever he was furnishing a room, and getting in his way would be troublesome.<p>

Also, he tugged on his right foot, there was now a limit to how far he could walk.

A shackle, padded with bandages (by Takuma) chained him to the cell. Just in case.

Shiki could still feel the sharp iron through the bandages, but he didn't complain.

"Is this alright, Senri?"

He glanced over his now, very comfortable looking bed, watching Takuma fluff the pillow till it looked bloated with air. He smiled.

"It's really good."

"Hmm, maybe you could do with some more books. You'll get bored otherwise-"

"Please don't bring anything else down."

Takuma paused. They both knew what Shiki meant.

_Please don't bring anything else down. You're making me feel like I'm moving in here for good._

"I won't. Kaname said I can visit you every day, so you won't be too lonely."

"Right."

Their conversation was so cold and colourless, Shiki could not feel any warmth from it at all.

He could see Takuma from the corner of his eye, struggling not to reach out to hug him. Takuma was such a _comforter_, always looking to make people feel better. Shiki smiled again.

"You don't have to come all the time, if you're busy."

Takuma pouted, "Do you not want me to come, Senriii?"

He laughed, "Of course I do!"

"I want to too, so I'll come," Takuma promised, leaning close enough to Shiki that he could see his green eyes through his fringe, "Every day I'll come to see you, I promise."

He reached out to touch Shiki's shoulder.

Shiki jolted out of reach, stumbling over the chair he'd been sitting on. He glared fiercely at Takuma.

"What are you playing at?" he demanded. "You can't touch me. You're not allowed to touch me!"

"Senri-"

"Don't come near me, don't you dare- _Takuma!"_

Takuma had managed to corner Shiki, and dragged him close to him. Shiki couldn't resist leaning into Takuma's warm hold. This man was _made_ to comfort people. And even though it hadn't even been one full day yet, Shiki felt like he hadn't touched someone for ages.

He wasn't even a very affectionate Vampire. It was the fact that he was _not allowed_ to touch people which made it so desirable.

And Takuma's hugs were always perfect, in Shiki's opinion. He squeezed him with just enough strength that he could feel his heart beating, and his body was warm, and apple-scented.

"You don't need to go through this alone," Takuma whispered, stroking his hair. Shiki pushed against him weakly.

"I do. This is just like last time, Taku. I don't know when he'll take a hold of me. I'm dangerous to you, you have to let _go!"_ he shoved Takuma off him, pulling on his best glare again.

"Senri-"

"No! The next time you try to hold me, I could grab you, and strangle you, or snap your neck. I could stab you with my chopsticks," he gestured to the food tray on the floor, "Or knock you out with a freaking _tray_.

"You trust me too much, Takuma," he stated, folding his arms tightly, "But you must keep away from me. The next time you hold me, I could Bite your throat-" he took in a shaky breath, "And then you will be bound to me. And then Rido will have a hold on _you_ too by proxy."

"Okay, enough," Takuma said, holding his hands up in surrender, "I get it," his eyes flashed mischievously, "I'll have to treat you like a feral kitten!"

Shiki rolled his eyes. Trust Takuma to take this _"seriously"_.

Takuma glanced at his watch, his smile wiping off.

"I have to be going now."

Shiki returned to his chair, taking a book off one of the bookshelves. "See you."

He was startled to feel a finger stroke his right cheek, where the band-aid covered the _Scar_.

"We'll find a way to get rid of this."

Before he could catch and scold Takuma for touching him, he saw a flash of blonde, and then the cell door shut, locking automatically.

* * *

><p>Kain watched in awe as Zero finished off a fourth sandwich, his stomach not even bloated with food. Where did he put it all? How did he eat so much in the first place?<p>

Zero glanced up at him disgruntled.

"You don't have to watch me all the time _literally_, you know?"

"How are you eating so much?" Kain asked, polishing off his own apple.

"I'm a snake," Zero said, as if that answer made sense. The Hunter wiped his fingers clean and took a sip of juice, then smiling at Kain, "I'm done."

"Thank goodness. I thought Kaname was going to go _poor_, for a second," he snorted, "Not even Hanabusa eats that much!"

"You're going to give me a tour after you're done eating," Zero said, matter-of-factly.

"I am?"

"You are," he insisted, "Unless you want me to wander around the castle unaccompanied, and have Kaname find me gone."

"You little shit."

Zero frowned at the size comment. It wasn't his fault that Kain was freakishly tall and he _wasn't._

He really wanted to go talk to Kaname right now. He had a thousand questions to ask him.

Starting with the Bond.

Zero twitched.

He really needed to know about _that_ first.

But before he even tried to find Kaname, he first wanted to call someone closer to home, to have a good rant and pep-talk.

"Oi Kain, can I borrow your phone?"

"There's no reception here, Kiryuu. But you can use a land-line phone, come on."

Kain lead him to a hallway phone, which he frowned at. Not exactly the best place for a private conversation. He glowered at Kain. "A bit of privacy please?"

"Who're you calling? Girlfriend?" Kain teased. Zero growled. He was like the annoying older brother Zero had never had!

"Fuck off, I'm calling Yagari-shisho?"

"The Hunter guy? What for?"

"Never you mind. Now get lost for at least fifteen minutes."

Kain lingered, casting a distrustful look at Zero as he backed off a few paces between glances.

"Yeah, further back. More. _More_. Scat, Kain!" Zero barked, about to throw something at the infuriating redhead. He was beginning to think that all vampires just _loved_ to bug him.

"Whatever Kiryuu, I'm going to go check on Hanabusa. Stay here, okay?"

Zero gave him the middle finger as he left, sniggering all the way. He just couldn't understand vampires!


	20. To Help Each Other

**Sorry for the chemistry jargon in the last chapter. I wanted to make myself sound clever. LOL.**

**Because chemistry rocks my socks off.**

**Seriously LOL.**

**By the way, this is a message to say that I am in fact leaving for holiday on Saturday, for ten days.**

**It will be a painful separation: me and my laptop, and there will be severe withdrawal symptoms.**

**But most of all, I will miss updating this story and reading your lovely reviews! You have no idea what every one of your reviews does to me! I feel like I can't stop smiling.**

**You're all the real driving-factor behind these super-fast updates. I really appreciate it guys.**

**But soon, there will be a break where THERE WILL BE NO STORY, AND I AM _SO _SORRY, BUT I WANT TO GO ON HOLIDAY TOO.**

**And as soon as I come back I will begin updating IMMEDIATELY. I promise you! So please be patient and wait for me! Don't leave me… (desperate much)**

**Don't expect chapters during that time, this is a notice to those people who have been faithfully reviewing every chapter (looks at Sonzai-chan, Hashi-chan, etc…) ILU 3**

**K, on with the story while I'm still here then…**

* * *

><p>Kain found a surprising number of people in the lab.<p>

_Two_ Vampires.

Usually it was only _one_ Vampire who hung around the labs in his free time, and that Vampire was certainly _not_ Kuran Kaname.

Aidou was still fiddling around with his chemistry shit, but Kaname was fast asleep on the bench across from Aidou, arms curled around a bunch of lab coats which he was sleeping on.

"Yo Hana," he said, strolling in carefully. He knew from experience that if he jumped him during an experiment and Aidou messed it up, there would be dire consequences.

Aidou glanced behind him, "Hey Kat. Aren't you watching Kiryuu?"

"He's on the phone with his Hunter master," Kain leant against a lab bench. "What's up with you?"

"Blood pill experiments," Aidou said, jerking his thumb towards the clutter on the counter. He didn't bother explaining further. Kain didn't care anyway, and he knew he'd get frustrated explaining things to Kain. Over the years he'd accepted that some parts of chemistry were just too complex for Kain to grasp. It wasn't that he was _stupid_. On the contrary, Kain was very smart, even though he looked more like a brainless jock. It was just that Kain's level of intellect compared to Aidou's was like comparing a chicken to a dolphin (a.k.a. Aidou was out of his league).

And that gap left Kain in the dark on _many_ of the things Aidou babbled on about, since they were usually well above his head.

Aidou enjoyed teasing him mercilessly about this.

Until Kain would get angry and would whack Aidou's ass _Aidou-chichi style_.

"What's up with him?" Kain mock-whispered, pointing at the sleeping Kaname.

"He's just tired," Aidou said, a little smile playing on his lips. He began to clear away the equipment with a practised ease.

"So, did you find anything out with your experiment?" Kain asked, trying to read Aidou's chicken-scratch writing.

"Nope. Just that any natural herbs that we could ever use to substitute the chemicals we usually put in these pills tastes just as bad as the original recipe. Also, no matter how many times I try, they won't work for-"

Aidou stopped mid-sentence, snapping his mouth shut as if he was about to let out a secret.

Kain quirked his lip, "For?"

"Nothing," Aidou said quickly, "You wouldn't understand it."

Kain rolled his eyes at Aidou's "you wouldn't understand it" play, poking at a spare folded piece of fluted filter paper and twirling it around the table. It looked like a ballerina's tutu to him.

"How's it going with Kiryuu?" Aidou asked, washing his hands.

"I found out he can eat tons of shit without stopping, and is _still_ skinny," Kain complained. Aidou rubbed his shoulder comfortingly. Not many knew that Kain's impressive physique had only been acquired through long workouts and a strictly controlled diet. "I can't believe some people are _born_ like that."

"I can't believe some people think we're born like _this_," Aidou added, poking his own flat stomach. "Fucking gene inheritance. Our ancestors gave us a bunch of fat genes that no one will ever know about. Suuure, they helped us survive the Ice Age and whatnot, but now we have supermarkets and tons of money!" he whined.

Kain chortled, hushing down when Aidou flicked him on the forehead, looking pointedly at Kaname.

"So, apart from the eating," Aidou pressed.

"He's okay. He's actually not _awful _to get along with. Kind of annoying at first, but you get used to it. He's quite a lot like you, you know- ow, OUCH. Stop it Hana. Let go, _let go_."

Aidou finally released Kain's ear after a harsh tug.

"Don't compare me to that grump."

"I think he just needs some time to get used to us Vampires. Once he gets past all that, I think we'll actually be able to get along."

"Sure, we'll get along all _buddy-buddy,"_ Aidou snorted sarcastically, "Over my dead body. That asshole is blackmailing Kaname to give him his blood."

Kain's teasing grin smoothed out, "You can't be sure of that."

"No, but what other reason would Kaname have to feed him? He must have something over Kaname's head. Something big like… maybe he saved Kaname's life or something. We _have_ to find out what it is and confront him about it-"

"I wouldn't try that if I were you."

Aidou and Kain almost jumped ten feet in the air as Kaname raised his head.

Kaname levelled both of them with warning glares.

"You will _not_ poke around Zero and my business, Aidou. Kain," he added, "You will _not_ give in to your cousin's foolishness. You will treat Zero with due respect, am I clear?"

They nodded.

"I appreciate your concern about my well-being, but I can assure you that nothing is being held above my head. And it's none of your business why I do what I do, alright?"

"Hai Kaname-sama."

Kaname nodded approvingly, checking his watch. He swore, hurriedly shucking the safety specks and lab coat and leaving the room with great speed.

* * *

><p>Ruka hurried upstairs to go to their rooms to grab a few things as Rima continued towards Kaname's study to report back. Rima walked quickly, wanting to set off as soon as possible again. She ran down the corridors as quietly as she could, wishing Seiren was there beside her and well enough to show her how true sneaking was done in <em>absolute silence<em>. That girl was incredible, like a Vampire-ninja. Rima ran so fast that she barely saw the person walking by before she knocked into them, propelling the other person to crash into the adjacent wall.

"OW, ow what the-?"

She blinked, cocking her head to the side. It was Kiryuu-kun. His hand was patting around the ground for something. He peered up at her, groaning as he did.

"Why is it whenever I bump into one of you, _I'm_ always the one ending up on the fucking floor?"

Rima pulled him up easily enough, apologising quietly.

"Have you seen Kaname-sama?"

"No," Zero said gruffly, "Not since last night anyway. Where the hell did that phone go?" he began patting around in the dark carpet, eventually finding it, "Shit. It hung up."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it, he never hangs around much anyway."

It had taken seven calls before Yagari had bothered to pick up, and he hadn't been very happy when he had. He hadn't spoken much either. Rima nodded, not knowing much about Yagari, other than he had been a rather comforting face to see during the Level E ambush she had survived a few days ago.

"Where did you go?" Zero asked suddenly, noticing Rima's windswept hair and flushed cheeks from going outside.

"To the Vampire Council. Kaname sent me and Ruka to inform them about the war, but… they already knew."

Zero blinked, "_How_?"

Rima shifted uncertainly, "I need to speak to Kaname, please excuse me Kiryuu-kun," she began to walk again but Zero followed her.

"I need to speak to Kaname too," he insisted.

He saw the hesitant look she shot him with. Maybe she had picked up on the underlying anger in his tone, or was it the pissed expression on his face? Zero knew he was being rather obvious with his emotions, which showed how furious he really was. Usually it wasn't difficult at all to keep his emotions and facial expressions under control, but with Kaname… there was something deeper in his anger than _just_ anger. There was disappointment too. There was his hurt pride. Zero wasn't one to make friends easily, what with his standoffish personality and short temper, his gruff attitude and scary aura that he maintained to keep a comfortable distance with society. He didn't have very many friends at all... so Kaname proposing friendship to him was a huge deal to him.

To know that Kaname had possibly only been trying to make friends with him because he had forged a Bond with him, binding Kaname's life to Zero, so that he could control his own life more easily… well, how could that _not _be taken in offence? It was disheartening to know that this all could be a scam for Kaname to keep a closer watch on Zero's safety, and by proxy, his own safety.

He had to talk with Kaname about it. He had to soothe his own insecurities regarding their relationship, to know how he should act towards him. If all Kaname wanted was for Zero to watch his own life carefully, he would agree to do so without complaint, because he knew he owed his life to Kaname for feeding him instead of letting him starve. If this was all Kaname wanted, then he would have to tell him that that was fine, but they couldn't be friends anymore.

What was the value in a fake friendship? He didn't need or want Kaname's pity.

Rima sighed, "I don't think that is a very good idea, Kiryuu-kun," she confessed.

"Toya-san, I really don't care, and I'll come with you either way," _Maybe _she'll _be able to find him_, Zero thought to himself. He hadn't been searching for Kaname in any way that day, but the Pureblood's absence wherever _he_ was made Zero think Kaname had completely vanished for the day.

The petite girl bowed her head in submission.

No one would ever win against Zero's blunt stubbornness.

* * *

><p>Takuma wondered where Kaname was. It was unlike him not to be prompt.<p>

He waited outside Kaname's study, respecting his best friend's personal space too much to intrude without his permission. Kaname was a very private person.

Any time that Takuma had been inside his study, the walls had been artistically decorated with regularly spaced simplistic paintings. The bookshelves were strictly factual, but not pertaining to any particular hobbies or interests of Kaname's of which Takuma knew of. On the desk was only his laptop, usually a few stacks of paperwork, pens and a few paperweight decorations (a couple of them were clay rabbits, from Yuuki).

It was a totally generic study, with nothing that detailed it specifically to Kaname.

But Takuma had the feeling that it was purposefully bare. He was sure Kaname was hiding secrets right in plain sight that no one would ever uncover. He _was_ a cunning man.

He was also a punctual man. Where was he?

Sighing, Takuma checked his watch again. What did he want to talk to him about anyway?

Takuma's mind flickered to Shiki.

He could _guess_ what it was about.

"_You shouldn't trust Shiki so much,"_ he could imagine Kaname saying. It was like Kaname was accusing Shiki of being like Rido. But that was a lie. Blood doesn't make a person who they are. Shiki was completely different to either of his parents. He was _Shiki_. He was good.

Takuma's heart thudded as he thought of Shiki in the cell in the basement, all alone.

The poor boy was probably agonising over the fact that he had endangered everyone, even though it hadn't been _his _fault that Rido had cursed him. It had been beyond their control, especially as Rido had dragged Shiki away from Takuma in the bush, all that he could hear was Shiki screaming, the sickly snap of twigs and bone, the pungent smell of blood and flesh torn-

Takuma had to find the cure to the curse. He had to get rid of that scar.

What could heal a scar? It was no ordinary scar either. Takuma thought hard over his rather limited knowledge about curses and _scars_… his expertise lay more in knowledge about Vampire Law and management, since he was Head of the Council now.

He would have to research. Shiki couldn't. He didn't think that anyone other than him was really thinking about curing Shiki.

It was up to him.

Now, he asked himself again,

_What could heal a scar?_


	21. Get In Trouble

Ruka knew that Rima was going to go tell Kaname about the meeting with the Council, but she couldn't help herself as she spotted him marching down the corridor.

She quickly bowed to him, stepping into his path smoothly.

"Kaname-sama, there's been an attack."

Kaname immediately grasped her shoulder, leading her to the side, although no one was there to listen in. She quickly filled him in on the details they had been told.

They had already known about the declaration of war on Kaname. Rido had again approached them, this time terrifying a few enough to join him. He had told them that this war would decide which of them deserved to be called "Vampires", which ones of them were worthy of living on into the next era of the Vampires.

After this, the Council had been notified only a couple of hours later that the attacks had begun.

A few towns close by had been raided by Vampires in the night, _Level Es_, who had stolen people out of the beds in their sleep. The Humans who resisted had been eaten.

The Council's messenger had also told them that there was word of a platoon of Hunters coming towards the towns, rescuing the few surviving Humans and catching the Level Es. But the Hunters were vastly outnumbered and the damage was done. No one had been prepared for the _numbers_ of Level Es coming from out of nowhere.

When had these Level Es been made? No one knew. All they knew was that there were plenty of them to match at least three to a Hunter, and they were unusually smart, able to clearly think out simple strategic patterns and plans to keep the Hunters fighting for a couple of hours longer than they would have usually.

Luckily no Hunters had been killed. There had been injuries, but they weren't going to die from them.

It was shocking that the battle had already begun so _quickly_, so _soon_. Had Rido been alive earlier with them simply remaining unaware with him living undercover? Had he been converting all these Level Es whilst they were completely ignorant?

Kaname's jaw tightened, but he thanked Ruka for the information stiffly.

He _definitely _needed to talk to Takuma, his most reliable confidante. Sometimes just talking to Takuma cleared Kaname's head. He knew how to help Kaname organise the problem, isolating different aspects of it into solvable divisions, so he knew which an area to tackle first.

He headed off down the corridor again, strides a little longer and hastier.

Then a second person obstructed him.

A panting, red-faced Kain, whose eyes doubled in size as they caught Kaname's. Clearly Kain hadn't expected to bump into Kaname either, and he was looking suspiciously shifty about their meeting.

"Kana- Zero- he's-" Kain gasped, panting heavily. He had been running, Kaname could smell the sweat on him. His eyes immediately narrowed to dagger slits as he noticed Zero's absence.

"Where is Zero? I thought you said he was phoning Yagari-san."

"He _was_, last time I checked-"

"Kain."

"-I swear Kaname-sama-" Kain only ever called him _Kaname-sama_ when he knew he was in really deep shit, "-he promised he would stay at the phone in the hall, but I can't find him anywhere!"

"_Kain_."

"Y-Yes Kaname-sama?"

"You're fired," Kaname snapped, turning straight down the corridor without a second glance back at Kain's gaping mouth.

"_Fired_?"

_Fired?_ Fired from what? He had left Kain Akatsuki in a _completely _befuddled mess.

But Kaname didn't care. He knew that Zero could take care of himself, so truly he wasn't too worried about him, as long as he knew to stay inside the Castle. He just wanted to punish Kain a little for not doing his job efficiently. He was supposed to maintain a watch over Zero, but he had lost him in mere _hours_.

He sighed. Clearly Zero was more devious than they had anticipated.

Now all he wanted to do was find Takuma for his ever-helpful advice and counsel.

* * *

><p>Rima and Zero arrived at Kaname's study door to find Takuma humming a rather chilling tune as he leant against the door. Apparently he was waiting for Kaname too.<p>

"Is he in there?" Rima asked, receiving a shaking of his head. Takuma explained that he was waiting to meet Kaname at his study himself, because Kaname wanted to talk to him.

They all leant against the wall in a similar fashion.

"How did things go?" Takuma asked.

"They already knew about the war. There was an attack on a nearby town by a mass of Level Es. The Hunters seem to be helping to exterminate the Level Es and rescue the Humans," Rima reeled out monotonously.

Takuma and Zero took a few moments to unravel all that she had said.

"The battles have begun-!"

"The Hunters were there-?"

Rido nodded to both enquiries, biting her lip. "We were requested by the Council to begin recruiting Vampires for our army immediately. Things seem to be progressing at a much faster rate than in the last War. We are much more at a disadvantage due to the random nature of their attacks, and the numbers of Level Es that are attacking people."

"How many?"

"Hundreds, maybe more? We're not sure. But there were definitely enough to face off the Hunters, three-to-one I'd say."

Takuma whistled lowly.

"I've also been asked to help the survivors of the town," Rima added. "They want me to help track the direction where the Level Es came from. Hopefully we can find their source."

"That's dangerous Rima-chan!" Takuma protested, dropping a hand on her shoulder.

"I have to," Rima insisted, shaking him off, "The Hunters want there to be only one Vampire among them to help because they don't want to be thrown off if more Level Es come by. Ruka was meant to do it but I volunteered in her place because she wants to help with the recruiting instead."

Ruka was not yet as confident a fighter as the others, though she could fight if the time called for it.

"I should be leaving _now_ really," Rima said, beginning to move down the corridor again. "Tell Kaname everything I've told you," she called over her shoulder.

"Wait, I'm coming too," Zero called, rushing after her, much to Rima's chagrin, and Takuma's distress.

By the time Kaname arrived at his study, he found one very agitated Takuma, shifting from leg to leg. He hoped he didn't need the bathroom, because he very much wanted to talk to Takuma as soon as possible.

"Kaname! There's so much I have to tell you!" Takuma burst out. Kaname quirked an eyebrow,

"There is much I need to speak with you also-"

"Rima came to talk to me, she was saying about this attack on a town nearby, and the Level Es-"

"I've heard it all from Ruka already," Kaname interjected. He narrowed his eyes, "Where is Rima?"

"She was asked by the Council to assist the Hunters track down the Level Es source, she left minutes ago."

Kaname nodded. Rima was perfect for this job. She had a good nose, and her wits about her at the moment, unlike the rest of them who were struggling over their own internal troubles caused by Rido's returning.

"You told her to report back as soon as she is done, right?"

"Of course Kaname."

Kaname nodded, pondering over the significance of the attack - it was so sudden. They hadn't been prepared in the slightest. They would need an army immediately.

Rido was moving so quickly. He wondered why he was rushing. What was the motive behind this war in the first place? Revenge for killing him?

No, there had to be a bigger game being played behind the first impressions of their war.

Rido rarely fought for something as trivial as a very _Human_ emotion like revenge. Though he had gone against his own ideals during the last War, where he had gone after Yuuki, chasing after his unrequited love for Kaname's mother, infatuated by the similarities between her and Juri.

Why was Rido calling this war?

What were his goals?

Kaname's mind kept returning to the Coronation night, when Rido had peered around his shoulder at Zero. He had hissed in his ear, "_You've given it all away already."_

He shivered inwardly. Rido's interests were shifting. He had barely glanced at Yuuki at all, so he wasn't interested with her anymore.

Rido's mind was an infuriating thing to try to understand. He was like a child, in Kaname's opinion. He had fallen in love with Kaname's mother millennia ago, and when he could not have her, he had fallen down a pit of despair, and he had begun to lose control of his already unstable mind. He had begun to obsess about Juri, wanting to possess her more than anything, like a toy he would have to play with. He wanted everything she was, even wanting her children.

And when he had killed her in his rage, he had begun to see Yuuki's resemblance to her, and switched his obsession to the poor girl. The last War had practically been constructed around his obsession with Yuuki, his desire to take her and eat her.

Now, he seemed to have lost his previous obsession, and was turning to look at Zero, with a more than interested eye.

Kaname could only guess that Zero would be Rido's next victim.

He couldn't control his anger when he thought of the words Rido had used when he had called Zero, "_scum"._

What right did Rido have to call him that when he himself was a monster?

Kaname shook himself out of his thoughts. He realised that speaking to Takuma would have to wait for the moment. This new snippet of information meant there was more work to be done.

First of all, he had to find Zero.

"I'm going to find Zero, Takuma. You go and start drafting a message to the public-"

"Kaname, I saw Zero go with Rima."

Kaname flinched, "_What?_ Zero is not meant to leave the castle! Why did you let them go?"

"I'm still not in the best condition, Kaname," Takuma said, pointing at his still sprained leg, "I had to wait for you."

_Wonderful, _Kaname thought, leaving his friend as he hurtled down the corridors towards the entrance hall. He couldn't let Zero leave. Everywhere was getting more dangerous. What was Zero thinking?

Kaname spewed curse words as he practically flew down the corridor, praying that they hadn't left the Castle already, and preparing himself for one _**angry**__ Zero._

* * *

><p>Zero kept glancing back at the Castle, urging Rima on faster, even though they were already running as fast as they could. He knew - he could just tell - Kaname would find out he had left. Maybe it would be through the <em>Bond<em>. Maybe Kain would tattle on him. He just knew that he had to move faster.

He kept in his mind the images of Hunters and dying Humans, scattered amongst the dead bodies littering a town nearby. Would he be able to smell it before they reached it?

"Come on," he growled, dragging Rima forwards, even though he didn't know where they were going.

"It's a long run, Kiryuu-kun, it's wise if we pace ourselves," she said calmly.

Zero growled again, but stayed beside her. He could almost tell already that he was not going to be successful. But was he trying to go with Rima just to escape the castle, and Kaname?

Possibly.

He didn't want to admit he was. He wasn't the type of person to run away from things, or people. But there was more than that driving his need to escape - he couldn't bear the thought of staying safe in the Castle while battle was going on around him. He was a _warrior_, trained for battle specifically - it was _his job _to use his skills to protect those who weren't able to protect themselves.

"Do you hear that?"

Zero turned to Rima, "Hear what?"

"_That_. It sounds like a - an engine, or some sort of motor."

Zero frowned, glancing around the road for any approaching cars. He looked forwards. None. But when he looked backwards-

"Oh _shit_."

There was a tiny figure rapidly growing larger by the second. The noise he couldn't hear a moment ago was suddenly audible, sounding indeed like a motor. It was Kaname's feet pounding on the ground from a great distance, although that distance was being covered at a remarkable pace. Should he even try running anymore?

Zero considered surrendering.

Then he realised his instincts were winning over that plan, and his instincts were saying: _RUN_.

So he began to sprint ahead of Rima, chanting curse words under his breath.

Kaname caught up with him, like a gust of wind.

Two hard arms swung around his front, pressing the air out of him as he was dragged towards Kaname by his waist. The Pureblood slung him over his shoulder, abruptly turned and began running back to the castle.

Zero yelled, twisting on his shoulder, but realising pretty quickly that if he fell at the speed they were going, he would skin himself raw on the ground and probably crack his back.

Kaname's arm tightened around him even more, crushing him to his back. That squeeze told Zero one thing: _you're in __**trouble**_**.**


	22. And Make A Mess

The speed at which they were travelling made the world a dizzying blur of greens and blues. What irritated Zero the most, which was strange and rather funny, was that he couldn't see anything but his arms hanging in front of him. He could feel Kaname's shoulders pressing into his belly and his legs knocking into Kaname's hip, and his strong hands holding them firmly.

They slowed down when the dot that the castle had grown by a hundred times, and then they could see Takuma waving at them from the front door.

As soon as they were at a more reasonable speed, Zero kneed Kaname hard in the chest and rolled off his back into a cat-like crouch. He would have leapt right up and gone running back to Rima, but instead he found his knees wobbling and his stomach churning horribly, so he collapsed on the side of the road, emptying his stomach onto the grass. The stench of stomach acid, breakfast eggs and leftover blood made him gag again, and hurl even more.

"Are you alright-?"

"Shut up," he groaned, "Go _away_."

Kaname backed off to the side a little, his shadow still hovering over Zero's shoulder. Zero felt him bend down behind him and pat his back awkwardly. He wiped his lips off, grumbling about _bloody Purebloods who can't run normally_.

"You shouldn't have done that, Zero," Kaname said softly.

"Shut up. I knew it was stupid," he grunted. Even his excuse sounded phony to his ears, "I heard about the attack, and wanted to go help the Hunters with Rima."

"You know that you aren't supposed to leave the Castle. It isn't safe."

"The war has started, Kaname - I'm not gonna just stand by and watch it all happen. I'm a part of this too."

Kaname's lips pinched together into a thin, angry line, but he simply took Zero by the elbow and began frogmarching him towards the castle with Zero fighting him every way. Kaname barely reacted to the hits which made Zero even more angry - writhing and snapping his teeth. He _hated_ Kaname. He hated the fact that he was being dragged so easily towards the castle like a wayward child, which despite its beauty, had begun to look more like a prison in his eyes.

"You will stay here," Kaname said firmly, pushing him through the doors.

"You can't tell me what to do!" Zero snapped, shoving Kaname out of the way of the doors, but Kaname's hand suddenly shot out and Zero felt himself being lifted into the air by an invisible force, the space under his body felt like it was expanding, encasing him in invisible bonds so strong he couldn't even struggle.

Zero saw Kaname's eyes flashing at him dangerously as he made to spit at his face.

"I can and I will. Your life is mine too now, Zero, so for as long as you live I will protect it."

So this really was all about protecting himself. Zero _did_ spit at Kaname this time, though he missed by a few feet as he was thrown out of range. What did Kaname take him for? He could protect himself. Maybe this was Kaname telling Zero that he was really only worth his life to Kaname, nothing more. He just wanted Zero to be safe so that he himself was safe. Suddenly Zero felt lit up with anger - anger at himself for trusting Kaname, and at Kaname for being so _selfish!_

"My life is _my __**own**_! You cannot keep me here!" he screamed but Kaname didn't look as if he was even listening to him. "_You cannot keep me here_!"

"Kaname only wants you to be safe," Takuma said gently as he closed the door.

"I don't care! You can't tell me what to do-"

Kaname's hand swept over his forehead, and suddenly Zero's eyes rolled back in his head and he slumped in Kaname's invisible hold. He was sent off, floating up the stairs to his room.

Takuma ran a hand over his face, shaking his head dismissively. Kaname had been too arrogant and pushed Zero too far. They were already on unfriendly terms, but now that Kaname had hurt Zero's pride by dragging him back to the Castle and forced him to obey, Zero was probably going to go back to hating Kaname completely.

And they had just begun to get along too, _what a shame_.

"That was wrong Kaname," he said softly, slipping into his role as Kaname's conscience, "You know that was uncalled for."

Kaname remained silent, but his hunched figure spoke of his regret.

"Follow him."

Takuma looked up to see Kaname's face, just as upset as he was. Kaname knew his faults, and that when he got desperate, he tended to throw his position around, demanding that people do as he said or making them pay the price for not doing so.

"It would be best for him if you would be there when he wakes up," _He still trusts you._

"Okay," Takuma patted him on the shoulder as he passed by, "I will."

The blonde Vampire hurried up the stairs, after Zero's floating unconscious body, hoping that Zero could find it in himself to forgive Kaname.

000

* * *

><p>Yuuki was startled to find Kaname sitting on her bed in her room, looking at her collection of books, and the large swirly lollipops she had collected over the years, arranged in colour groups on her dresser. He clashed with her peach coloured bed sheets in his blue button down shirt and grey slacks. She didn't hesitate in barrelling into him, scrambling onto his lap, hugging him happily (and tightly around his neck, which had strengthened due to her many hugs over past years.<p>

"What are you doing here, Kaname?"

Kaname sighed deeply, lowering his head to rest on hers so that he could smell her sweet floral scent.

He had stayed in the entrance hall for a long time, staring at the area where Zero's body had hovered in the air, going over what he had said and the look on Zero's face. He had paced _many_ times, up and down the downstairs gallery, thinking over what Zero would possibly do when he woke up (Zero was incredibly impulsive and unpredictable, so Kaname mostly pondered over what _he_ might say to Zero instead).

The look of betrayal on his face...

He had seen it after the Coronation, when he and Takuma had explained Biting to him. Having seen it twice now, Kaname felt like the lowest of the low… would Zero ever trust him again?

Kaname had left the gallery, gone to write some drafts for recruitment for the Council to distribute, writing that their target minimum number of recruits drafted was to be one thousand. He had found himself completely shattered after finishing the draft and sending it off, physically and mentally drained. The past few days had finally caught up to him… and Kaname wanted nothing more than to sleep, to feel safe and loved and looked after.

He came to the one person who had loved him unconditionally when he was little, and loved him still when they first met again, even after such a long separation. Yuuki provided a comfort that Kaname sorely needed, and couldn't find in any other person. All he wanted was to hold onto her, like an anchor, and be hugged by her, and loved by her…

"I just wanted to say hello," he said meekly, burying his face into her hair, "I haven't talked to you much lately."

"No, but you've been so busy."

Sweet Yuuki, always so understanding… Kaname hauled her up onto the bed with him, cuddling her small body against his comfortably. She was understandably taken aback. Kaname was not the most affectionate of people, so what had brought on this clingy behaviour?

"I have been. But it wasn't fair to ignore you like this."

"It's alright Kaname, I've managed fine. I've been decorating!"

Kaname's eyes landed on the lollipops again. "I can see that."

Yuuki thumped him on the chest, giggling merrily. She had missed Kaname terribly, even though they hadn't been apart for long. He was so busy with everything that she hadn't wanted to disturb him. Now that he was here with her, she wanted him to stay for at least a while.

She brushed a hand against his cheek lovingly, "Why do you look so sad, Kaname? Has something happened? Has Rido-"

"No, it's nothing about Rido," Kaname kissed her hand, "It's about Zero. I've upset him."

Yuuki frowned. At the Coronation Kaname and Zero had amazed her with their civility, behaving almost like friends, with their fun teasing. She wondered if they were finally getting along. If they were, then it was a _miracle_. Zero was well-known for hating Kaname, and Kaname usually ignored Zero. She wondered if they had bonded over the journey to the Castle. If so, they must've had a _real_ change to their relationship for Kaname to be this distraught about "upsetting Zero".

"What did you do?" she asked, watching Kaname's expression fall even more. "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to!"

"I ordered him about, and that… may have wounded his pride somewhat."

Yuuki winced.

Zero _would_ be very upset at this. He was by no means prideful, but he _did_ have quite a lot of pride anyhow. And ordering Zero about was something you simply_ did not do_. He was an independent guy, who did as he _liked_. She didn't know what Kaname had been thinking, but clearly he didn't know Zero very well yet.

"You should apologise to him as soon as you can then," she suggested, "He's actually quite good with apologies if you can prove you're absolutely sincere."

"I don't know, Yuuki. This wasn't a little teasing gone wrong. I think I've actually _hurt_ him."

Kaname began to fold in on himself, curling around Yuuki and hiding his face. Yuuki's heart warmed in empathy, and she wrapped her arms around his waist, drawing him closer to her.

"Do you want to sleep here?" she asked, blushing hotly at the suggestion. Yuuki could feel his arms tense around her.

"I will stay for a little nap, Yuuki. Then I must go and deal with some more things."

Yuuki whined, "You're doing too much! You need to rest, Kaname! I know you didn't even go to sleep last night. I heard you in the library, all night…"

"I am a King now, Yuuki," Kaname laughed bitterly, "I have a lot more on my plate. And I'm not a little boy anymore," he sighed, kissing her hair, "So even if I don't like to do so, I can't ignore what's on it."

* * *

><p>000<p>

Zero blearily opened one eye, smacking his dry lips together and grimacing at the cottony taste in his mouth. Judging by the lack of light peeking through the curtains, it was night time. The last time he had been awake, it was the afternoon. Zero kicked back the covers, or at least _tried_ to. His limbs felt abnormally heavy and numb. They dragged lethargically along the covers. He could just raise his head high enough to see his weak movements, the odd lumpy shapes of his body under the thick duvet covers.

He struggled to turn his head towards the direction where he could sense a Vampire was at.

Of course, it was Takuma, reading one of his manga novels and humming one of his creepy tunes. Just as he flicked over a page, his eyes flicked up from the book and lit up when they landed on Zero's half-open ones.

"Zero-kun! You're finally awake! How are you feeling?" he chirped. Zero managed a long, angry moan and tried to motion to his body with his eyes.

"You probably feel quite tired. Are you finding it difficult to move, Zero?" Takuma rolled his eyes, "I completely know how you feel. Once Kaname did this to me when I went with him to an amusement park. Apparently I had too much sugar and was bouncing off the walls. I was probably being quite annoying to be fair-"

"Oh you were," a smooth voice said coolly. Zero didn't even try to turn his head to face the speaker. In fact he purposefully shut his eyes as soon as he heard it. It was the only way he could try to ignore him. "You were an absolute menace at that park. _Completely_ out of control."

_Completely out of control_.

Inside Zero's foggy mind, he could still feel himself beginning to panic.

Had Kaname literally _made_ him pass out? He could remember yelling at Kaname, seeing his hand move, and then total darkness.

Had he just shut Zero down? Could he do that? Were Purebloods able to control people like that? Zero couldn't help but feel violated, and _sick_. If he had just been literally _shut up_ by Kaname, and _shut down_ just as easily, he wondered what else Kaname could make him do. What if Kaname controlled people on a regular basis?

There was nothing right about stealing someone's free will, or controlling their bodies like some sort of _puppet_.

Zero was only glad about one thing - with his body in such a motionless state, he couldn't hyperventilate in his panic. He felt so _vulnerable_ like this.

_Completely out of control_.

"Zero, I need to speak to you."

Did he have any choice but to listen?

He felt Kaname's movements towards the bed, and the dip in the bed as he sat down, rolling his left leg towards Kaname and the dipping mattress. If he could, he would've kicked Kaname in the back, but as it was, he could only twitch mutinously against him.

"I am sorry, Zero. I never wanted to make you to do anything you don't want to do, but I need you to be safe. With Rido starting the war so early, things are getting completely out of hand. I want at least to be sure of your safety before everything else goes into utter chaos."

Zero didn't believe Kaname's guilty tone, assuming it was meant to trick him into forgiving him. He had already decided to listen to Kaname anyway and stay in the Castle where it was _safe_. He may have Kaname's life in his hands, but Kaname had been the one to save Zero from the darkness, when he may have fallen further into the pit of madness, becoming a Level E and losing his humanity.

The least he could do was stay safe. Even if he wasn't going to be happy about it_ at all._

He wasn't going to forgive Kaname though.

"I know you might not believe me, but I _am_ truly sorry, for many things. I should have told you about the Bond, but knowing you, you would have rejected it. I hoped that if I could make friends with you, you would not hate the idea of it so much. I shouldn't have ordered you to listen to me. It was rude, and unfair, and I had no right. I'm sorry if I've made you feel inferior because of this. You aren't inferior to me at all, Zero. I know you know that, but I don't think you know that _**I**_ feel this way about you. You are my equal, in every way, and you deserve to choose what you do. All I want is for you to be safe, Zero. We're _friends_ now. You said so yourself."

Zero had to admit, Kaname was good with apologising. He shakily forced a smile at the "friends" Kaname claimed they were. Maybe he had been wrong about that - maybe Kaname valued him as a friend for real. He felt Kaname's body heat shift closer to him, and his arm roll towards the dip in the mattress that was closer to the top of the bed now.

He opened his eyes as soon as he felt a breath on his face. He would have frozen in shock if he wasn't already still.

"You are important to me, Zero, and I hate not having your trust. I will try to redeem myself in your eyes, with everything I can. You have no idea how much I value your life."

Zero's smile dropped.

_I value your life_.

Life. Zero's life was Kaname's life.

What an _idiot_.

Zero would've fallen for all Kaname's talk, had he not ended with that mocking phrase: _I value your life_.

Zero closed his eyes, focusing his efforts on working his mouth, and his voice box-

"Hmm?" Kaname leaned closer to Zero, so his warm breath was brushing his forehead.

Zero's mouth trembled, he whispered.

"_You…_ willcall me.._. __**Kiryuu**__,_ not _Zero._"


	23. When It Hurts

**Author's Note: OMG GUYS, WE HAVE REACHED TRIPLE DIGITS!**

**100 Reviews! I can't thank you all enough. I'm so happy to have reached the 100 mark just before the holiday! It makes me leave feeling accomplished!**

**i will be gone until the 21st July, and im leaving tomorrow. i MIGHT just be able to fit in another chap before we leave, but no promises...**

**THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU.**

**i love you all!**

**btw, this will be the last chapter until after the holiday, unless... i have exactly ONE HOUR left before the taxi comes...**

**K, tell u what, if i manage to do another one, you will see it!**

**if not, this is the last one for now!**

**a few of you have been asking about how many chapters long this story will be... I DUNNO. ." i havent really planned much, im just letting it _"flow"_.**

**im guessing this is gonna be a big one, like 50 chap or something? i dunno. i kinda jumped into the deep end with my first fanfic really, i didnt want to make a small one, i wanted to make a BIG ONE. lol.**

* * *

><p>Despite the cleaner, brighter appearance of the cell, it was still a cell. Thankfully there were no rats. Shiki would have killed them if there were. He was <em>so bored<em>.

Maybe that was because Takuma hadn't been around to visit yet. He had already finished reading all the books he'd left him (including the manga books, which he didn't understand very well) and had doodled on all the paper. Takuma hadn't had much time to find many things for him to occupy his time with because he was only allowed half an hour with Shiki before he had to leave.

Shiki bit his lip.

Being alone meant that he had much more time to think.

But the one thing he thought the most about was his mother.

He had thought, like the rest of them, that the Coronation would be only a two-day event, and that he would be able to pass by his home on the way back to the Academy to visit his mother.

Usually, Shiki visited his mother at least once a month. He had to make sure she was still healthy, taking her medicine and not driving the staff too insane. He had to make sure she wasn't lonely, or feeling forgotten by him. He had to make sure she was comfortable and happy (enough), that she understood where she was, and why he had to go away for so long each time.

Shiki hated that he had to leave her alone so often. The only thing he worried about in life was his mother. She couldn't take care of herself anymore. He remembered when he was younger, she had had more of a grip on life then: washing his hair for him, playing silly games with him… those had been good days, when he had been dependent on her, like a son should be to his mother (at least, until adulthood).

Now he felt like the roles had reversed somehow. He couldn't remember when exactly she had begun to change. At first she had stopped playing with him, talking to him… eventually she had tried to be around him as little as possible. He understood now why that was. That had been the time after his father had left them, and he was the living reminder of him.

She had started to fade after that, and Shiki hated that she completely different to the person he had known before. It was like she wasn't herself anymore.

Then, there came a day when she had gone completely volatile, bouncing between being totally infuriated and being patronizingly sweet. Shiki had almost lost his temper with her, moving to strike her for being troublesome. But then she had begun to cry.

Shiki hated it when she cried... more than _anything._

She begged him to kill her, saying that all she wanted was a sip of blood. _A sip of blood._

Shiki should have run away at that point.

But he had only been twelve, and she had been clinging to his sleeve, begging for his blood.

He had cut his wrist with a steak knife; young and anxious, only a little cut.

"_Only a little, Mom."_

She had leapt at him, knocking him to the floor, and instead of taking his wrist she had aimed for his neck and _**Bitten **__him._

"_Ah! It hurts, please stop!"_

She had latched on with her fangs in her lower jaw, practically _chewing _on him, and so much blood had spilt out of that wound.

The staff had smelt the blood. They had torn her off him and tied her up in a strait jacket for the night. All his clothes had been burnt and he had been sent to the other side of the manor.

But the Bond had been formed. It was done.

Shiki was aware of the fact that she did not actually require his blood. She had the blood pills. But like a child, she often refused to drink the bitter pill drink, or spat it back out.

If she didn't take blood in some form, like any other vampire, she would waste away.

Since they shared the Bond, he could feel her hunger and knew that if he her bloodthirst wasn't sated, she would die, and then he would too. She wasn't a _Pureblood_.

So he was forced to feed her as frequently as he could.

He wondered if she was hungry now.

How could he feed her now? He was restrained. He couldn't leave the Castle. Would Kaname allow her to be brought to him? What if he had to stay there for a long time, and she killed herself, or died of bloodthirst? He would die then too.

Shiki sometimes wondered if the only connection between his mother and himself was the Bond now. He didn't even know her anymore. Perhaps he was only protecting her, feeding her because she had his life in her hands, and so he had no other choice.

Maybe it was his duty to her which kept him from running away from home.

Did he feed her out of love? No. One thing Shiki knew was that he no longer loved his mother. His mother had been dead inside for so long that there wasn't really anything of her left to love.

No, he fed her out of **fear**.

000

* * *

><p>Kaname had left immediately after Zero had spoken. Takuma was quite fed up of them both. Why did Zero have to be so untrusting? Sure, Kaname had lied to Zero a few times, but if Zero had only opened his eyes, he would've seen why Kaname resorted to lying - it was all to protect him. When he made that apology, he'd poured out his <em>heart <em>in doing so.

He had never seen Kaname so open with his feelings before, confessing his faults and flaws with no pause. And Zero had completely disregarded it.

But Kaname's timing had been equally bad. Talk about putting your foot in your mouth… he had done exactly that, _just_ when Zero had opened his eyes.

Takuma wanted to scream at them both.

Things had gotten messed up between them _again _just due to stupid misunderstandings.

He wanted to go after Kaname to explain where he had gone wrong, like he usually did, but Kaname had shaken him off, telling him to go see Shiki if he wanted.

He hung back though, to check on Zero. If he couldn't scold Kaname, he would at least deal with _one _of those idiots whilst he was still there and listening.

Takuma knelt on the side which Zero was facing.

He rested his head on the edge of the mattress, painting on his best "_you've done something stupid"_ expression on his face.

"Why did you say that, Zero?" he asked quietly. "Why did you have to do that?"

Zero opened one eye and then huffed. He opened the other eye when Takuma leaned over him, pressing one hand next to his right ear. For the first time, Takuma looked _threatening_.

"I think you're a nice guy, Zero, and I like being friends with you, but I've known Kaname for way longer than I've known you, and I won't allow you to trample on his feelings like they're worth shit. I know Kaname has his faults, but at least he _tried_ to do the right thing and apologise. I have never _ever _seen Kaname give an apology like that. Just try and think about what you've done, _Kiryuu_, think about what you've thrown away."

With that, Takuma left the room, intent on going straight down to the basement.

* * *

><p>000<p>

"NO, no, no, you fold the paper like _this_. See? You've done it in halves, and quarters, and eighths… now in sixteenths but _outwards _- no, _shit_, Akatsuki!"

You would have thought they were doing origami, which is strange enough to catch the two of _them_ doing. What they were really doing was folding fluted filter papers for Aidou's experiments.

And Kain was doing a terrible job of it.

There were dozens of filter papers scattered around the lab benches, all ripped and crumpled.

"_Look_," Kain growled, "When I said I wanted to help you with your experiment, I thought I'd be doing something like… pouring in the stuff, or pounding the powder. I didn't mean this boring shit."

"_Look,"_ Aidou mocked, "If you don't want to help with the preparation, you don't get to do the experiment. If you don't want to do this anymore, just go away," Kain remained seated (though his considering expression was promptly overlooked by Aidou) "Good. Now take your paper, start again, a new piece. Fold it in half, in quarters… in eighths…"

Kain ripped the paper.

He incinerated it in his palm.

When he turned to Aidou, he winced at the fierce icy glare he received.

"My hands aren't dainty like yours, Hana-chan; it's not my fault if the paper crumples in my hands."

"Bullshit… just - go light the Bunsen burners or something, Kat."

Kain stood up, just as the door opened and Kaname came marching in. Aidou squeaked, crumpling up his own delicate paper in his surprise.

Kaname glanced once at the many ruined papers, then at Aidou's wide-eyed expression and shook his head.

"Kaname-sama!" Aidou stuttered, leaping for his notes on the adjacent lab bench, "I've done more experiments. They've all turned out pretty much the same though. I don't think it's the quantities of each chemical that I add-"

"I'm glad to see you working so hard Aidou, but that's not why I came here."

Kaname watched Kain surreptitiously sticking a hand under Aidou's experiment tripod, his finger lit as he heated the beaker. He must have been really bored to seek Aidou out, _whilst doing his experiment_, for fun.

"I have a job for the two of you, but only if you're willing-"

Kain sat up straighter, "Sure."

"I'm sure the two of you are well aware of the recent attack on the town," Aidou and Kain (especially Aidou) were always well-informed on gossip,

"With the war starting so soon, we have to get prepared, which is why I have already written to the Council about recruiting Vampires to our army. I would like the two of you to go to HQ and oversee the recruitments."

Kain rose to his feet, grinning in relief, "Of course, Kaname. When would you like us to leave?"

Kaname glanced at Aidou watching Kain's finger-flame intensely. It had been a fun game when they were little, to see Aidou and Kain neutralise each others' powers. Whenever Kain lit a flame, Aidou would douse it with his ice, which made the ice hiss and let off steam. As kids they had been positively delighted by it.

"In the morning," he said, watching Kain's face droop and Aidou's pout disappear, "You can finish your experiments then. But make sure to get a good night's sleep before you leave."

Aidou happily saluted Kaname off as he left the lab, turning to Kain excitedly. He actually enjoyed having Kain around in the labs. They got rather dreary when he was all alone with his experiments, unless it was one of those days when he was fully immersed in work, lost to the world around him.

On _those_ days he didn't want Kain in a mile radius of the labs.

His mood dipped a little when he saw Kain's painfully bored expression. Maybe Kain found him boring. Sometimes Aidou wondered if Kain stuck around him out of obligation rather than by choice. What if he stuck with him because he felt bad for Aidou, thinking that then at least Aidou would not be all alone?

He nudged Kain, dropping a ball of ice into his other palm with a small encouraging smile.

The redhead gasped at the coldness of the ice, immediately lighting his hand up to warm it.

They both watched the ball sizzle, hiss and almost explode with steam.

After the ice had completely melted to water, and the water had begun to steam off his hands… they began to giggle hysterically, just like the five-year-old kids they were at heart.

000

* * *

><p>It was the middle of the night, and there was of course, little light to see by, but Kaname still stood in the cool night breeze, enjoying the calming scent of the many roses around him. He didn't need to see the roses to smell them, and it was just the sweet smell of the roses which he needed to remember his most treasured memories.<p>

The reason why Kuran Juri had a garden full of roses was, unsurprisingly, because she adored them. Whenever Kaname saw one or even caught a whiff of one, he would think of her and the unconditional love she had given him.

He only realised needed her so much when there were moments like these, where he hurt with no visible wounds and he needed someone to tell him what he had done to deserve the pain and what he should do to alleviate it.

Usually Takuma was enough to go to for these types of pep talks. He was good at being tactful, yet direct enough to provide good criticism. But even though he had known Takuma for far longer than anyone else, Takuma ultimately could not provide all the comfort he wanted.

Kaname inhaled deeply, sinking his nose into the soft head of a rose. He tangled his fingers in the vine and kissed it softly.

After a few minutes, Kaname circled around the basin in the middle of the garden, refusing to gaze down at the water. He had made his own little superstition about the basin. He had only ever seen his mother and father look down at the water together, happy and in love. He promised that one day, he would take his love to the basin and they would look down together, and he would believe that they would live together forever.

He stopped in front of the pergola, gazing down its black depth. In the dark, he couldn't see the endless green path. If he walked through it, he might just believe he could reach the end.

But it was impossible to reach the end, and Kaname knew it would only frustrate him, so he left the garden and turned back to the Castle.


	24. Running Dry

Takuma stumbled down the basement stairs, blinking rapidly at a strange pungent smell. He could smell Shiki- a musky, salty scent that was sharp and irony like blood (understandable since Shiki's power involved the blood whip). But there was another scent, one that he did not recognise, that was even stronger than Shiki, and it didn't smell nice at all.

He quickened his pace, covering his nose as the smell rapidly became overwhelming. What was Shiki doing? The irony taste of blood hit his mouth as he approached the cell. His eyes widened in horror. That wasn't Shiki's usual blood-tinted scent, it was _real blood_.

Shiki was bleeding.

"Senri!" he gasped, frightened to go closer to the cell. The scent was blood. There was a stream of blood flowing, just within view of the bars of the cell from where Takuma was standing.

He took a step closer.

Immediately his stomach churned and Takuma retched.

Shiki was soaked in blood, just like they had been in the woods. But the source of the blood wasn't obvious. The colour red was spread too evenly over his body, showing that he had been bleeding for long enough that he stains had managed to merge.

"Senri…"

Shiki immediately looked up, surprisingly sharp enough to recognise Takuma's face. His mouth spread into a wide smile and he reached out a dripping arm, beckoning him closer.

Takuma crouched by the bars, reaching towards Shiki. _What have you done?_

Then Shiki brought something out which had been obscured from Takuma's sight, a glass. The top of the glass was cracked smashed in jagged shark-teeth like shards. There was a little blood in the glass, only about two finger's width full.

Shiki pushed the glass to Takuma.

"Take it to her," Shiki whispered hoarsely, "Give it to her. She needs to feed."

Takuma almost burst into tears at that moment. It was almost laughable how little blood Shiki had managed to drain into the glass, barely enough for a sip.

"What were you thinking?" Takuma whispered, staring at the glass of blood, smeared with Shiki's fingerprints.

Shiki pushed it towards Takuma insistently.

"She needs it."

He toppled over.

"Senri! _Senri!"_

Takuma gingerly took the glass from Shiki's limp grasp, deciding that all of his efforts should at least not go to waste, he placed it at a safe distance on the ground. It was ironic that there seemed to be more blood spilt on the ground than in the glass.

He strained against the bars, metal biting into his shoulders as he reached for Shiki's slumped form, but he was just too far away. Even as Takuma shook the bars with all his strength, they did not so much as rattle. There was no lock on the cage, no _door_, since Kaname had charmed it to only allow him to enter.

He would have to call for Kaname.

Takuma already knew how reluctant Kaname would be to open the cage for Shiki, but he was _bleeding to death_ and he could barely stand and watch-

"**KANAME!**"

His voice echoed through the basement, a sound that made his own hair stand on end.

Could Kaname even hear him?

There was a blast of wind whistling through the corridors, and within seconds Kaname stood beside him, eyes peeled for any disaster. Of course he would hear him, of course he would be there. He was on always listening out for Shiki anyway.

Immediately the Pureblood went to the cell's side and gazed down at his bloodied cousin. He didn't bother to ask what had happened, levitating Shiki's body out of the cage like there were no bars obstructing himat all.

Kaname walked at a brisk but steady pace, carrying Shiki ahead of himself.

"What are you waiting for? Run, Takuma, call the doctor!" he barked.

Takuma shot off like a bullet, feet barely touching the floor. Meanwhile Kaname walked as fast as he dared with his fragile cargo, pushing away the irregular dripping of blood on the ground, the splash of it on his clean leather shoes, the smell, the worrying slow beat of Shiki's heart...

* * *

><p>000<p>

All of them stood around the single bed, watching its occupant's slow, even breaths. The doctor among them had a trained neutral expression on his face, though something in it was grim, and he was constantly reassessing the data clutched by the clipboard in his arms, which made them all nervous.

"He will be fine," he announced, pleased to see the visitors all sighing in relief or otherwise relaxing slightly.

"Alright then," Kaname motioned to Aidou and Kain, "Go to sleep. You two set off early tomorrow."

The cousins bowed obediently, dropping comforting pats on Takuma's shoulders and leaving the room.

Kaname glanced at the anxious Takuma, whose face hadn't changed at all, even at the doctor's reassurances. He squeezed his arm in comfort, what little it provided.

"I am glad that Shiki will be alright," he crouched to Takuma's ear-level, "He _will _be alright, Taku."

Takuma grunted, aching to reach for Shiki's hand, yet staying back as Kaname had insisted on _no_ contact with Shiki beyond what was necessary. Wasn't this necessary? Injured people needed the comfort of friends, and the comfort of physical contact to ground them-

"You know you can't," Kaname said over his thoughts, "In fact. This is exactly the time you should definitely _not_ touch him. His mind is vulnerable while he is unconscious, perfectly ripe for Rido to attack."

Kaname hooked an arm around Ruka's elbow, leading her out of the room when he decided Takuma was not going to do anything. He lowered his voice so only she could hear him.

"I am leaving as well, tonight. There is little time. This thing with Shiki was terrible, but I cannot be there for them," _them_ meaning Shiki _and_ Takuma, "So I'm leaving it to you. You're in charge for now."

Ruka's eyes widened.

"I can't leave this responsibility to Takuma. He's the most at risk right now with Shiki. You must keep an eye on them _all the time_. Not only that, I'm entrusting you with Yuuki and Z- Kiryuu-kun's protection."

"B-But Kaname-sama!"

"I know you have your differences, Ruka, but I'm counting on you. Aidou and Kain are leaving tomorrow morning. Can I trust you'll do this?"

But without an answer, he left.

Ruka sighed. He hadn't even told her how long he would be gone for. And she was going to be stuck _babysitting_ people her age - one she didn't know very well, one who was annoyingly energetic and two who she _loathed_.

000

* * *

><p>Zero sat up, slowly, stiffly, internally groaning but refusing to make an outward sound. His eyes were still firmly shut against anyone who may be in the room. He just…he wasn't in the mood to face anyone. After he had rejected Kaname's friendship, they were back to square-one, and now that he knew Takuma thought so little of him for the way he had acted…<p>

The sharp sting of loneliness hit Zero in the chest.

Or was that the pang of bloodthirst again? It was getting worse. He was noticing the length of time between each feed was getting shorter.

How would he face Kaname to ask for blood _now_? For some reason, Zero could almost already tell that Kaname would agree without much of a fuss, but that just made it _worse _- the fact that Kaname would very likely brush off the incident (friendship) as nothing, and would've moved past the incident by then. Meanwhile, Zero would be the only one feeling awkward, rude and greedy for taking blood from someone he had rejected.

Zero sighed, he was sure there was no one in the room- he couldn't smell a thing, and there wasn't the sound of anyone breathing. He opened his eyes.

Yes, the room was empty.

But there was something on the bed. Something red.

Zero shimmied off the thick sheets and wobbled onto his legs, hanging onto the hospital bed railings for support as he staggered over to the end of the bed. His grip loosened. He fell on his knees in shock.

On his bed, a **blood bag**, a straw, a note attached.

He read it, disbelieving:

"_If this amount is insufficient, please inform the nurse. She will show you the supply that I am building up for you. –KK"_

Zero shakily called for the nurse, cradling the precious blood in his hands, he asked her to show him the "supply". What was Kaname talking about...

He was taken to a small cabinet, Zero realised it was a mini-fridge, and already he began thinking _no, no, no, no, no..._

Then the nurse pointed at a tiny lock on the door, and at his throat before hurrying off to her other duties. Zero prodded at his neck, feeling around and finding a small chain with a key on the end.

He opened it. In it were three bags already. Plump, full bags. Three pints' worth of Pure Blood.

What is he doing? _Why is he doing this...?_

000

* * *

><p>Kaname ran. There was no need for Vampires to use vehicles really. Even a lowly Level C could keep a pace with speeding cars for a fair amount of time - and Kaname could travel much faster and longer than they could.<p>

He knew where he was going, he was likely to be disrespected in every way.

Especially after the Coronation fiasco, where every Hunter had been disarmed and left like rubbish sacks in their hidden hideout posts.

"Seiren, have you done as I've told you?" he called out, feeling her materialise by his side and hurry to match his pace.

"Hai Kaname-sama, Kaien-san is aware that we are coming. He has alerted the patrol guards, they will escort us into the grounds."

The Hunters' Association HQ appeared at the horizon after around twenty-five minutes of their sprint, obscured in woodland like many of the Vampire/Hunter establishments, far away from Human civilisation.

As soon as the HQ became distinguishable as a building, a large building at that, two patrol guards appeared at their sides. They slowed down their paces to the guards' and followed them into the building.

At the entrance stood Yagari Toga, arms folded and expression borderline murderous. Kaname gave a small greeting bow, but whisked past him when he was solidly ignored. He had no time to waste with angry Hunters. He needed to speak with his friend.

"Kaname-kun."

He spun around, amazed to see Kurosu Kaien so… sober, and serious-looking. The Hunter was halfway down the staircase and beckoned for him to follow. Kaname noticed that Yagari had moved from the entrance and was following them upstairs too.

He was aware that Yagari was the true Head of the Association nowadays, and Kaien was only the public figurehead, since he had the better known reputation of being the "legend of the Hunters". It wasn't going to be long till Yagari took his title too though. Both men weren't grappling over the title of Head of the Association though. They were old enough to know that hungering for power from the title was pitiful and ended with problems they would rather not deal with. Instead, it was like a partnership. He supposed that was why Yagari was coming. He just hoped he wouldn't be much trouble.

He was counting on Kaien to keep him in line.

"Kaname-kun, I must warn you that even though you aren't _unwelcome_ here, you aren't exactly _welcome_ either," Kaien said, pouring some tea for him and gesturing for him to sit. Kaname awaited the tea with some trepidation.

"I am aware of that, and I am not sure if I have apologised yet for what happened at the Coronation-"

"Back-up my sorry ass, our people got stuffed and shoved to the side. Not _one _of you fucking Vampires kept an eye out for that shithead Rido! You knew there was a threat yet you all-"

"Enough, Toga, we're not enemies here," Kaien intoned.

Yagari slammed his hand on the table, "I know we aren't, but we sure as hell aren't friends. What were you playing at?"

"We were deceived. Rido already had taken hold of one of us by the time the coronation began. Shiki was possessed. That isn't why I've come here though," Kaname snapped, patience running thin.

Yagari made to snarl, when Kaien stopped him, "Let him speak."

Kaname accepted the cup of tea carefully, barely sipping it, "I've already got the Council to start drafting soldiers in, but my concerns are with the recent attack at that town. The _numbers _of Level Es there was apparently incredible. _Hundreds_. Already. I don't understand how Rido has managed this, or how he has trained them to follow his command so well."

"And you want our help to figure this out?" Kaien asked, topping up his full cup. Kaname smiled thinly.

"We are short on numbers and time. Though we Vampires are natural-born hunters, my people aren't well-trained to work on such short notice. It will take time just to gather people to join the army, and to train them too - though they are willing, But the Hunters are always ready for a fight," Kaname glanced at Yagari. He knew the Hunter thought he was just buttering them up, but what he said was genuine, "You are always prepared, and I need you now. You owe me nothing, but I need you. We have to find out how to slow Rido down before he attacks again."

Kaien nodded, but his eyes were trained on Yagari, whose gaze was unreachable, staring at something beyond Kaname.

"It will be disaster if Rido strikes before we are ready," Kaname urged.

Yagari made a shooing motion, "Yeah, yeah. You've convinced us. We'll help," he lit a cigarette and smirked, "Now kindly fuck off."


	25. The Blood Calls

Kain loved the outdoors, as did Aidou, and they were both fully pumped up on their run through the fresh coniferous woods, despite carrying heavy packs for their trip. The solid crunch of the earth and snap of twigs under his feet was so satisfying, and for once, Aidou was being quiet to enjoy the scenery.

They arrived at the HQ, breathless, refreshed and grinning like fools.

Their smiles dropped as they saw the number of Vampires that had arrived.

Seventy Vampires, at most.

Didn't Kaname say that the Council had publicised the recruitment? Where were all the Vampires? This couldn't be _it._

Aidou scowled, "There'd better be more than this!"

"It's still early," Kain rationalised, heading for the centre of the meeting place, and calling for attention. He motioned Aidou over, "We'd better get set up."

They noted down all the vampires present, finding that the numbers were even fewer than they had thought. A measly fifty-nine. Sixty, if they counted the brother of one Vampire who was supposedly too ill to come himself.

They were done in an hour.

Kain dumped his pack on the floor, watching as it shuddered with the vibrations from its own weight. He had packed, expecting it would at least take the whole day, overnight, maybe even a few _days_ to note down everyone. But it had all been finished in an _hour._

Even training days, which he had thought they might get started on to gauge how well the Vampires were prepared, he had packed for. But if they even did _that_, it would only take a day at most.

And it didn't look like there were any more Vampires coming either.

"Where are they all? There were more at the Coronation! This is pathetic," Aidou snapped, standing on a boulder off-side with his hands planted on his hips. He glowered down at all the recruits.

"I don't know," Kain admitted, running over the list of people, "This is only enough for a squadron! What the hell?"

Aidou leapt off his boulder, grabbing a random man by the collar and peering up at him with cold fiery eyes.

"Where is everybody, eh? We're recruiting an army, not some musical production! Where is everyone?"

The man surprisingly pulled himself free of Aidou and sneered right back at him.

"_Sir_, the Council _did_ mention the war, and that we should recruit, but many of us are wondering what exactly we will be fighting _for_."

"What?" Aidou screeched, Kain shifted closer when he saw a flush of angry red developing over his cheekbones, "You don't know what you're fighting for? _The fucking return of Kuran Rido, you harebrained asshole!_"

The man flushed but quickly rose again.

"We all thought him to be dead. Since when did he return? We knew nothing of this! We don't even know why we're fighting! You should be giving us answers before you force us to fight your wars! _That's _why no one has come!"

To their horror, the rag-tag crowd began to unite, calling out agreement to the man. Aidou shrank back a fraction, but then leapt higher up on his boulder so he could glare down at the man.

"Oh yeah? That's your reason? What about your allegiance to the King? What about the fact that only days ago, Kaname-sama became our King, and we should be supporting him in this war, no matter what? It doesn't matter what questions you might ask. All we should be doing is following Kaname-sama! He has called for _you_!"

This drew even more cheers from the crowd, and the man stepped back in shame.

Aidou grinned at the cheering faces. The Vampire world loved Kaname. As long as you said his name, you would have their loyalty.

"So," he scoffed, "What is with this pathetic number of Vampires? Look at yourselves! What is the number, Kat?"

"Fifty-ni-"

"**Fifty-nine!**" Aidou roared over him, "_Disgraceful_! Where are the thousands of proud Vampires who came to witness his Coronation? Where are they when we need them now?"

The crowd turned around to survey themselves, their expressions taking on that of shame when they saw how small their group really was.

"Exactly," Aidou nodded smugly.

Kain leapt onto the boulder next to him, exclaiming, "Kaname has called us!"

The crowd cheered madly, Kain was grinning so much it was painful.

"We will gather here tomorrow. Everyone, go to your homes and spread the word!"

The crowd dispersed, as did Aidou and Kain soon after, deciding that they would take on the task of searching through villages themselves.

000

* * *

><p>Takuma's hand was dangling, so close to Shiki that if he was to extend his fingers they would brush with the back of his palm. He was watching Shiki closely, just like Ruka was watching him closely.<p>

It was aggravating, but he already knew that Kaname must have given Ruka the responsibility of watching over him.

Takuma desperately tried to remember the last time he had run his fingers through Shiki's hair, and could barely remember the feel of it. Boys didn't tend to play with each others' hair very much. He only ruffled Shiki's hair when he was feeling down, or unmotivated.

His finger twitched.

He gasped as Shiki's did too.

"Senri?" Takuma peeked over the edge of the bed, grinning as he saw Shiki's pale blue eyes open slowly. "Oh god, what were you thinking-"

"Taku."

Shiki's eye was amazingly focused and sharp, latching onto Takuma's like a lifeline and drawing him closer, simply by their strange energy.

Takuma leapt backwards, laughing joyfully, "I'll go get the doctor straightaw-"

"Taku," Shiki urged, causing Takuma to freeze, smile still in place. "I… how long have I been…"

"Oh, not as long as you'd think. About four hours. You lost so much blood-"

"Where's the glass? The blood, it's for her…"

Takuma choked, dropping back onto the chair he had remained vigil at for the four hours. He hadn't spared one thought on the broken glass, with its measly amount of blood. He had been preoccupied with devoting himself to as many religions as possible, praying to deities he'd never even heard of that Shiki would survive this. He had been so pale and weak, and by the time the doctor had arrived, the stink of death was working its way to his body-

"I seem to have forgotten it."

Shiki's breathing was steadily becoming more erratic and raspy, with it beginning to heave, Takuma was scared he was going to reopen some of his wounds with the amount of movement he was making. It had been horrifying to see the doctor find more and more self-inflicted wounds that they had had no clue about hidden around Shiki's body. It was like he had tried to bleed himself out, just so that he could get the blood out of his body.

"You ha-have to get it to he-her," Shiki wheezed, clutching the sheets, "She's _dying_. I c-can feel it."

Takuma knew that Shiki shared a Bond with his mother, he knew about the accident. He completely froze when he heard this. _If she died, that meant that Shiki would die too…_

"I d-don't want to die, Taku. Please take it to her."

Takuma bit his lip, watching his best friend begging him in his hoarse voice. He, in all honesty, hated Shiki's mother, for the simple fact that she had stopped him from living his own, free life. He didn't care about her sob story, or that she had also given life to Shiki. Right now, she was ruining everything…

"Please, Taku. I don't want to die. I'm so scared. Please, Taku, please…"

He couldn't bear to see Shiki babbling, using precious breaths to beg him to feed his mother.

"Okay."

He couldn't stop himself-

He grabbed Shiki's hand comfortingly, shooting a glance over his shoulder for Ruka. She was gone.

"Don't let me die, Taku…"

"You won't," Takuma squeezed his hand, "I promise you, you won't."

000

* * *

><p>Zero set the drained bag down. The itching hunger pain was gone now. All he felt was warm, hot even, from the power his body was absorbing. It put him in a slight sweat.<p>

But the blood had been cool, like fruit juice, kept in the mini-fridge.

It was odd-tasting like that. Not quite as silky smooth, or sweet.

Bland.

And he had got a damn brain-freeze, _from blood!_ Zero had never imagined he would get that… the irony…

Still, the blood bag bothered him.

He had thought things would go back to normal between him and Kaname; that Kaname would feed him every few weeks, and that would be their only interaction, just like before. Indifference, he could deal with.

He had _never_ anticipated this reaction.

It was like Kaname couldn't even bear to face him.

Blood bags.

Did he hate him that much?

It was cold, clinical… _unnatural_. Zero shook his head. What was he thinking? It was an excellent solution. But what he wanted to know was _why_ Kaname did this, where things stood between them.

He had to talk to Kaname.

Zero wiped his lips, glanced down at the crumpled clothes he wore, from yesterday, he cringed. But what did he have to wear? There weren't any clothes around, apart from the infirmary's hospital gowns.

He trudged out of the room, almost knocking right into Ruka.

One of the most beautiful vampires of the Night Class, with her strawberry blonde flowing locks and rose quartz eyes, now flashing red at the scent of Pure blood. Her pretty face twisted into a disgusted snarl.

"You fed from Kaname-sama, Kiryuu?"

Zero shrugged, surprised with how unbothered he was with the question. The secret had been revealed already. What was the big deal anymore?

"I'm sure you know that answer already, Souen," he answered in the same tone, moving around her, "I need to be going now."

Ruka's eyebrow twitched at the mocking tone in Zero's voice. The nerve!

"Kiryuu!"

Zero sighed, turning around, "Just go ahead and ask your question so I can leave. I have things I need to do."

"Where's Kaname-sama? You fed from him but I can't sense him anywhere."

Zero frowned. Was this some secret he should be keeping again? The blood bags… he already knew they were practically equivalent to Kaname giving him bags of diamonds for free. Inconceivable. But these Vampires were Kaname's most-trusted. And he was sure that eventually they would be told anyway.

"Kaname left me his blood to drink. Blood bags."

For a couple of seconds, it was like Ruka just didn't understand. And then her eyes bugged out comically.

"He _what_?"

"I need to go now, Souen-"

"**No**. Stop, wait. You have _no idea_ what you've just said, do you?"

"I do," Zero sighed, "I bet it's a huge deal that Kaname's giving me his blood like juice boxes, but hey, it's his choice, so who am I to tell-"

"No, you don't get it!" Ruka fumed, grabbing Zero by the shoulder and turning him to slam him against a wall. Her nails bit into his thin shirt, "You know nothing about Vampire culture!"

"Is that really my fault?" Zero choked, quietening down when Ruka shot him a venomous look.

She hissed, "You've Bitten Kaname. The Bite forges the Bond, but only _he _can feel the Bond at the moment because it's an incomplete Bond. Whenever he feeds you, the Bond grows stronger. Do you know how many times you've fed?"

Zero blinked. Over the last _year?_ How was he meant to keep tabs on that? If the Bond grows stronger with every feeding… Zero didn't want to imagine how strong it was now.

_And he couldn't even feel the Bond_.

"That many? Well, Kiryuu, I can tell you that now the Bond is strong, it's like a leash. Kaname can only be a certain distance from you before that leash begins to tighten on him, anywhere beyond that and the pain becomes suffocating."

"How do you-"

"I know because my aunt's friend had this problem when she Bonded far too young with a childhood sweetheart. The strain drove him _mad_. He couldn't bear to be apart from her, until he Bit her too. But by then, they already loathed each other, and now they are forever Bonded for life."

Ruka shoved Zero's shoulders harder.

"Bonding is a commitment," she poked his chest with her talon-like nails, "You must take it seriously. Kaname is relying on you to be kind to him, to ease his suffering by staying close. I have no idea why he's distancing himself from you. If it's because of that stupid fight you've just had, I want you to sort this out immediately. Kaname isn't just inflicting pain on himself, he's actually harming himself. With the Bond strengthening with each feeding, the Bond is becoming overpowering to Kaname and it needs to be satisfied too, and that can only be done by your Bite. You need to talk to him about it."

"That's what I was going to do!" Technically he was just going to ask _why_ Kaname was doing this, but now he knew he would have to stop Kaname from doing this blood bag thing. Zero faltered… "Is Kaname going to go mad?"

Ruka's eyes flashed, "Not if you talk to him. I don't care that you've had a fight, that you're not friends or whatever. If Kaname is made to suffer any more because of you, I'll beat the shit out of you, screw the consequences. You need to somehow find a way of delaying the Bond's demands. It wants to be completed. Otherwise, you will have to let Kaname Bite you; let him complete the Bond."


	26. Blood Blood Blood

Zero waited anxiously in Kaname's room. Ruka had unceremoniously shoved him in and forced him to stay there, saying that he'd probably get lost in the Castle looking for Kaname, so she would find him and bring him to him. The room was made of fine materials, Zero could tell, but it was sparingly furnished and quite Spartan. Only a bed, wardrobe, desk and chair were the main furniture in the room. Kaname's personal lounge was connected to the room, and it was also simple, with only a sofa, an armchair and bookshelf.

Since he was already in the room and had broken whatever trespassing rules may lie there, Zero had decided to investigate Kaname's rooms. They were quite boring though. Impersonal.

Then the door opened quietly, and footsteps approached him.

Zero glanced up to see Kaname's emotionless face.

He could see beyond the stoic mask Kaname was wearing. He could see the little quiver in Kaname's wrist as he flicked it minutely in impatience, the tightness in his lips probably meaning he was trying either not to talk or not to bite his lip, and the… the pain in his eyes.

Ruka's silhouette was just visible on the edge of the hallway light, seeping through the open doorway. She shut the door silently, and they both heard a lock click.

It was rather stupid. Kaname could easily unlock that door, but the message was clear: _d__on't leave until you've both sorted this out._

"Kiryuu-san."

Zero flinched, shaking his head, "Don't call me that. I was being stupid, Kaname. I didn't mean it."

Kaname's eyes seemed to flood with relief, chasing the pain from them, and he even let out a deep sigh. Zero wondered if he had been bothered by the fight that much. It felt like such a long time ago since it happened.

"Ruka said you wanted to talk to me," Kaname said, taking a seat on his bed. Zero wordlessly joined him, trying to arrange his thoughts into some semblance of order. "Did you get the blood?"

Zero nodded. He still felt rather hot still from the blood's power working through him. It was a strange heat that was also sleepily soothing, a paradoxical mixture.

"Good," Kaname said, pulling a tight smile on his face. Zero wondered if he was overdoing the blood bag thing, draining himself too much.

It was something he would do...

"You shouldn't overdo it, Kaname," he said quietly.

Kaname laughed, "Most people would say 'thank you' or something."

"Thank you," Zero rolled his eyes.

Kaname nodded, "It's fine. I'm only giving a pint every other day. Hopefully you'll have a good stock of blood there for whenever you need it. I'll even freeze some, to keep it fresh for longer-"

"Why are you doing this, Kaname?"

Kaname quirked his head in confusion causing Zero to flush. Was the King trying to act cute? Zero tried to ignore Kaname's odd, kitten-like expression.

"What - you mean giving you blood? That's because you need it still, Ki- Zero," Kaname stated, smiling a little, "Zero," he repeated.

"Yes, but these blood bags, are they necessary? That fight's over now. I understand what you were trying to say, and I'll stay safe in the castle I guess or whatever. So… are you still mad at me?"

"I don't understand, Zero."

Zero sighed. He would have to share his _feelings_ with Kaname. How embarrassing. He glanced at Kaname's still curious expression from the corner of his eye. It looked genuine. How could the genius Pureblood not understand these things?

"I was thinking, that you might _hate_ me after the way I treated you. So these blood bags are a way of avoiding me," Zero admitted, slowly and painfully, as his cheeks filled with red.

Kaname blinked, and then shook his head little by little, "No, that was not my reasoning. I've thought of this plan as a back-up for our convenience. This war is picking up pace, Zero, and you might not be able to feed if I'm not around. At least you'll have these blood bags as back-up."

_Oh. That made sense._

Zero's red face flushed more in mortification at the misunderstanding.

Kaname was being logical. He was being tactical, not scurrying around because of his _feelings_ like Zero was.

"I'm pleased the blood bags have worked then," Kaname said smugly, "It's not really been done before in terms of feeding. I was worried the power properties of the blood would disintegrate from the cold."

"It tastes _weird_ cold."

Kaname raised an eyebrow, smirking, "My goodness, Zero, someone's getting picky with his blood. He wants it at body temperature, fresh, shaken not stirred-"

"Oh shut up," Zero snapped, "I'm just telling you your plan isn't perfecto, genius. It tastes like shit when it's cold, and it gave me a frickin brain-freeze."

"Don't drink it too fast then," Kaname suggested, reaching over and placing his hand on Zero's face. He frowned lightly, "You're awfully red."

"Whatever," Zero scoffed, smacking away his hand.

"And you feel quite hot."

"I guess it's me absorbing your powerful blood," Zero sneered, ignoring Kaname's concerned expression.

"Hmm, maybe. I've never fed anyone before, so I don't know how this stuff is meant to work first-hand."

Zero was surprised. Had Kaname never even fed Yuuki? He must have to have awakened her. It made him feel strangely privileged, _special_ even, to have received this supposed 'honour'. But it also made him feel edgy. This meant that Kaname was new to this as well. Did he really know what he was doing?

It reminded him of what Ruka had told him to talk to Kaname about.

"Kaname," he said, catching the Pureblood's attention instantly, "Ruka told me about Bonds."

This made Kaname's relaxed demeanour turn serious once more, and Zero almost immediately regretted bringing it up. It was nice to know they were back to normal. The pain flashed in Kaname's eyes again, urging Zero to speak.

"What she said has made me want to tell you to stop doing this blood bag thing. She said that by not letting me feed directly from you, you're harming the Bond or something, and we have to satisfy the Bond, otherwise it will cause you pain." Zero poked Kaname in the knee, "Are you in pain? She told me about the distance thing, how staying far apart hurts you. Why didn't you tell me?"

Kaname sighed, "You weren't meant to know."

"Are you in pain?" Zero repeated, poking him again.

Kaname shot him an annoyed glare, but swivelled round to face him more directly, his expression troubled.

"Right now, the Bond is happy," Kaname said, "You have to think of the Bond almost like a person. It's grown stronger and keeps me bound close to you. Whenever we're more than… twenty yards or so apart, I feel it strain around me, here," he pointed around his throat, "Like a dog collar on a leash."

"…But we've been far away from each other for a while now."

Kaname gave him a grim smile, "Yes. I won't lie to you, it felt like I was being strangled when I 'broke out' of the leash. From then on, I've been feeling quite detached from everything, maybe because I've technically "beheaded myself" with it, or something. But as soon as I came within range of you again, it was like a whip, here."

Zero chewed on his lip. It sounded like the Bond was agony. Why would Vampires ever invent something like this?

"I'll admit, I thought up the blood bag idea so that I wouldn't have to be around you all the time. It was during our fight. I knew that you would hate for me to be hanging around you all the time, so I broke away as fast as I could. It's bearable once you get used to the distance."

Kaname was right, Zero realised. He hadn't wanted to be around Kaname at all during the fight. Maybe it was because they had had time apart, for Zero to cool down, that they were alright again.

"Ruka told me that you'll go mad without me feeding from you. Feeding soothes the Bond," he told Kaname, wondering if he knew what Ruka had told him. Kaname nodded.

"Yes, but if I feed you, the Bond will strengthen and tighten too. We'll be leashed closer than before. It's a double-edged knife."

"How does this work? Are we gonna end up stuck together like magnets?" Zero asked in disbelief, "This bloody Bond doesn't make sense at all! How are you meant to function like this?"

"The incomplete Bond is meant to be temporary. Usually vampires will quickly sate it with the second Bite, forming the complete Bond."

Zero wanted to hit the wall. Or shoot something. He desperately missed Bloody Rose, having left it behind in his room at the Academy when Takuma had convinced him that weapons would not be permitted into the Castle.

Forming a complete Bond between them would mean Kaname _Biting_ him.

It made his heartbeat accelerate in fear, not excitement. The memories, however blurry and vague of his transformation night, were filled with unimaginable fear, and the feeling of pain shaking every cell in his body.

And the darkness. It had been overwhelming. A crushing darkness that pressed down on him, as he realised he was really dying, his heartbeat slowing down, the cold, the blood being drained from his body-

It was his greatest weakness, his biggest fear, he realised - being Bitten.

But Kaname coped with being Bitten on a regular basis by him without much fuss. The competitive streak in Zero challenged him to match Kaname. If he could stand the pain, so could Zero! It was only pain, after all. There was nothing to fear but pain…

"Complete it then."

He actually heard the breath being sucked into Kaname's lungs, and the whiplash sound of his head turning to face him, ruby eyes wide. Were they filled with disbelief, dismay or anticipation?

"No…" he breathed, "Don't tempt me, Zero. This isn't something you want to do-"

"The Bond we have is already permanent, isn't it? What worse could happen-"

"You don't understand. This is complete commitment. It's not something a teenager would like to agree to-"

"I'm not talking about what _I'd_ like! I'm talking about you. I want to stop your suffering!"

Kaname groaned loudly, standing to tower over Zero. Zero scoffed at his attempt to intimidate him.

But Kaname wasn't trying to intimidate him. He was trying to hold eye-contact with him, to force him to understand the severity of what he was offering Kaname.

"Don't tempt me," Kaname said sternly, holding his hand up to stop Zero from interrupting, "Yes, I'm ordering you, because this is a time where you must listen to me. Look, Zero, we're friends, yes, but we've only been so for a short time so far. How much do you really trust me? Are you willing to give your life to me? That's what you'd be doing if we complete it. You'd have my life and I'd have yours."

Zero rolled his eyes, suddenly shooting his arms out to shove Kaname out of his face. The melodramatic fool.

"You're missing the fact that _you've _trusted me with your life already," he pointed out, "With that type of trust placed on me already, how can I _not_ trust you?"

Kaname shook his head, "It's not a two-way thing. You have to really _mean_ it."

Ridiculous. Kaname was an idiot.

Zero shrugged, what could he do? Kaname was a stubborn fool, he was beginning to recognize, just like him, ironically enough. He couldn't force Kaname to Bite him. In all honesty, he didn't really want him to.

He decided their talk was over, and made his way to the door, where he paused to sort out his thoughts once more.

"So, getting this all straight, you're gonna give me blood bags from now on and stay far, far away from me, because you think it will help the Bond?"

"It will help my control," Kaname argued.

"And you're willing to go through all that pain because you think I can't handle a little commitment, due to your trust issues?"

"_Your_ trust issues," he muttered.

Zero ignored him, yanking open the door.

"You're a frickin masochist, Kaname."

Zero tried to ignore the idea of Kaname in pain as he left the room, reasoning that he was only doing what he had _wanted_.

He left Kaname in his room, stomaching the pain by focusing his thoughts on what exactly an 'masochist' was…

* * *

><p>Although Zero had left the room quite chipper, pleased with the fact that he and Kaname were alright again, he eventually began to notice something he could not quite ignore.<p>

His forehead was sticky, covered in a film of cold sweat, though his face felt hot to him, and he felt like he was wearing several blankets and duvets when he was only wearing a thin-cloth shirt and jeans.

Was he getting a cold? The signs were pointing that way. But the way the heat was radiating through his body wasn't similar to colds. He could feel the heat in his face right now, but there was also a patch of skin on his lower thigh, near to the inner part of his knee, that was feeling uncomfortably hot.

And there was this achy feeling, not like flu-aches, but like his bones were wearing away. He knew he was only imagining the pain this way, but that was how it felt like. Also, his blood felt like hot acid in some places - what on earth was happening?

Was there something strange with the blood he had drunk?

Maybe chilled Pure blood had strange side-effects.

Nah, he knew it couldn't be that. Maybe it was a cold. It was probably just a cold.

Zero decided to pick up the pace, go to his room quickly and lie down for a bit.

But his legs wouldn't cooperate. They had dissolved into jelly-like legs that wouldn't move when he told them to. _Oh shit, _Zero thought as his unstable legs failed him and he tumbled straight out onto his belly, spread-eagled.

What was going on? Mere minutes ago he had been completely fine.

Now he was shivering on the floor, fluctuating between heat and cold with sharp pains erupting in random places in his body. Did he have a fever?

Zero managed to utter a rather feeble whimper, wondering if anyone would hear him or pass him by on the corridor. It was madness. One minute he was fine, the next he was spiralling into a crazy sickness. He lay there for a while, face pressed against the thick carpet. It felt rough on his sensitive skin, which made him groan again. "Zero?"

Zero grunted. He recognised that voice.

There were the small vibrations of light padding footsteps and then a thud as a small body knelt down beside him. A delicate hand rested on his shoulder.

"Oh my god, Zero! What's happened? Zero…"

_Yuuki_, he wanted to say, but all he managed to do was grunt before he blacked out.

* * *

><p>He woke up suddenly, eyes snapping open and gasping like a fish out of water.<p>

He was back in the Infirmary, with the Kuran siblings both hovering over him, and a doctor talking quietly to Takuma at the side of the bed. His Hunter senses picked out Ruka hanging out somewhere at the bottom of the bed. He moaned.

"You're in the-"

"I know where I bloody am. It's not that difficult to guess when there's a doctor standing beside you," he shot at Takuma, immediately feeling bad for snapping at the friendly Vampire.

He was feeling inexplicably grumpier than usual. It was probably because his lungs felt like they were on fire, making breathing difficult.

"You fainted," Yuuki supplied. He sighed. He hated it when everyone started pointing out the obvious, "I carried you here," she giggled.

There was something quite mortifying about that image. He was almost three quarters of a foot taller than Yuuki, and she was so delicate and _tiny_. The image of her carrying him was absolutely ridiculous.

"So what's the deal?" he growled, pushing himself into a sitting position.

"The doctor has a theory," Kaname said, "But it isn't good."

"I'm suddenly sick and there's no reason for it?" Zero supplied.

"There's a possible reason for it. The problem is, if his theory is correct, then there may not be a cure."


	27. Interal Warfare

**Author's Note: **

**HE'S NOT PREGNANT GUYS, NOT PREGNANT.**

**LOL, a few of you reviewers there have slipped into the fangirl mindset that makes every disease a yaoi contender gets look like MPREG. ****I apologise, will ask you all kindly to turn MPREG-radars**** off****,**** guys. It's not gonna happen (…yet… ?)! ****I've been there myself, so…I don't want anyone to get disappointed if there are no KZ-babies!**

**If there are LOTS of you guys who want that to happen, let me know in your comments. I'll see what I can do…**

**I'm BACK! HOLIDAY WAS AWESOME. I love USA. To all Americans- YOU GUYS SO FRIENDLY, SO AWESOME SRSLY!**

**And I have so many quarters and dimes from change (from candy-shopping-spreees) that my purse is really fat. A fat purse is a happy purse.**

**I went to HarryPotterLand in the Islands of Adventure.**

**It is magical, I swear. I even got a Hogwarts letter… a bit late, but who cares I still got one! WOOHOO I knew it! I'm NO MUGGLE!**

**This chapter was soooo hard to write. If it's difficult to understand, please forgive me, I tried my best. But REVIEW about it, tell me what you didn't understand, and I'll try to fix it!**

**Anyhoo, thanks for being patient. Back to the story!**

* * *

><p>The doctor quickly stepped forwards, folding his arms over his clipboard calmly.<p>

"Kiryuu-san, you currently have three different types of blood in your system right now."

Zero stared at him blankly.

The doctor's lips pinched, "There is your natural Hunter blood, the Vampire blood your body has generated yourself, and Kuran-sama's own blood which you have ingested.

"My theory is this: your bloods are fighting amongst themselves. You must have expected that your body would begin to reject one blood or another. There is no way a body can support more than one type of blood inside it for a prolonged time. Your natural Hunter blood has obviously been in you since birth. It is therefore likely to be the most abundant blood.

"The Vampire blood you have generated-" he glanced at Zero's confused expression, "You were _transformed_ into a Vampire, were you not? Therefore all the Human parts of your Hunter cells were killed off and you were regenerated as a Vampire. Yes?"

_Killed off_? All the Human parts of him were gone?

Every Hunter knew that the Hunters had been formed long ago from Ancient Humans who had eaten Vampire blood, and therefore Hunters were technically a cross between Human and Vampire. But what the hell did this doctor mean that his "Human parts" had been killed off to make him a Vampire? It didn't make sense!

"Your Vampire blood, Level D blood," the doctor paused, but continued when Kaname turned his gaze on him, "Is likely to be the second most in abundance. It supports the last blood you take, which is K-Kuran-sama's own blood.

"This blood is the one which seems to be causing the problem."

"But I've been drinking his blood for a while now," Zero protested, pointedly ignoring Ruka and the doctor's appalled faces.

Surely if there was a problem, it would have cropped up by now.

"Yes, but recently I've heard that you have been taking Kuran-sama's blood when it had been chilled for storage?"

He nodded.

"That is where the problem may lie. This is something you must understand - Hunter blood, Vampire blood and Pure blood are all completely different to the Human blood you must have learnt about at your school. They are active cells that can target certain areas in the body to carry out processes - they're almost sentient in that way. That is the reason why Vampires and Hunters can control the energy in their bodies to generate powers.

"By taking blood from Kuran-sama, you are prolonging the life of your Level D Vampire cells because they are essentially weak, and Kuran-sama's blood is the strongest, even stronger than your Hunter blood," the doctor barely smirked, but Zero could feel the jibe at his Hunter genes and felt his nostrils flare indignantly, "It provides them with the power they need. Due to the… _Bond_ between you and Kuran-sama, the Pure blood has adapted to you and does not attack your Hunter cells.

"However, it seems the ingestion of chilled Pure blood is the reason why your current problem might have arisen.

"I have examined some of Kuran-sama's blood, and concluded that while it still can provide the power essential to your Level D cells, the Pure blood cells are currently in a partially dormant state due to the cold. They're almost like _enzymes_ which denature at higher temperatures - only, these cells denature when they are cold. Your Hunter cells appear to be taking this opportunity of weakness to attack the Pure blood," the doctor's neutral expression became quite disgusted as he spoke.

Zero was speechless.

"Your Hunter blood has always been adverse to accepting Vampire cells, which may be part of the reason why - as Kuran-sama informed me - you cannot take blood pills. The Hunter cells weren't strong enough at first to attack Kuran-sama's cells, but with them now being dormant, they are taking that chance. This is what is causing you pain at the moment.

"Your bloods are fighting to be the dominant blood."

"Are you suggesting then, that I stop taking Kaname's blood?" Zero watched the doctor wince as he said 'Kaname' so casually, and the way that he shot daggers through his eyes at him. Something was telling him he shouldn't really be asking for advice from a doctor that seemed to hate him with every fibre of his being.

"Yes," the doctor said quietly, glimpsing quickly for Kaname's expression, which was _**not**__ happy_, "But there is the dilemma we face by the fact that your Vampire cells need Kuran-sama's blood to survive. You're a Vampire now, you need to take blood in some way."

"But I'm still Hunter."

"You are. _That's the problem_. Your body is designed to be one thing only - either a Hunter, or a Vampire, _not __**both**_. It is suffering right now because it is in conflict with itself. You want to be a Hunter when you have already been Changed into a vampire. You need the Pure blood too to stabilise things, so… it appears, Kiryuu-san, that you are in a bind."

"But there is a solution," Zero said, turning to look at Kaname, who was glaring at the doctor, "If Kaname agrees, I could feed from him again. Then the blood won't be dormant."

"That won't work," the doctor snapped, jumping when Kaname shifted over towards his area. He straightened up and wiped his face clean of his snarling, disgusted expression - back to professionalism again. "I don't think that will work, _Kiryuu-san_. Your Hunter blood has become dominant. I'm sure it will attack any form of Pure blood now that it has begun to attack Kuran-sama's chilled blood already. There is nothing you can do. To survive, you will have to simply continue as you are doing. Drinking Kuran-sama's bagged blood," the doctor said through gritted teeth, "This pain is something you will just have to put up with."

* * *

><p><em>My body is at war with itself<em>, Zero thought bleakly. _And there's nothing I can do. _

"I'm sorry."

He glanced up, Kaname was staring down at his feet, looking for all the world like a moping child. He baffled Zero, sometimes - no, _all the time_. What was he apologising for? His blood was saving Zero's life.

"I didn't know that my plan would cause you these problems."

"How could you have known?" Zero asked with a shrug, "It's not _your_ fault. It's my Hunter blood being opportunistic, I suppose. It saw your blood being all loopy from the cold and decided to beat it up. It's just bad for me because I have to take the brunt of the attack on either side."

Kaname nodded, slumping down in one of the bedside chairs.

"So, can I leave the infirmary then?" Zero asked, tugging at the sheets. Kaname's hand immediately shot out to push him back onto the bed. "Okay… I guess _not_, then."

"I'd prefer if you rested for a bit," Kaname's face twisted, "I can smell you bruising."

"Bruising?" Zero asked in surprise, instinctively reaching down to pat down his shins - the place he always found bruises from knocking against chair legs and tables. Kaname shook his head, tugging at Zero's arm and peeling down his sleeve. To his astonishment, there was a small patch of reddish purple skin, just around his wrist bone and spiralling towards the back of his palm. It was even more amazing that he could actually _see_ the skin darkening into a darker bruise, and the bruise spreading over the back of his hand steadily, per millimetre.

This must be… the blood battle happening right beneath his skin.

"You can _smell_ it."

"Mm-hmm, like an overripe peach."

Zero sniffed his wrist, wrinkling his nose, "Nah, like a slightly mouldy peach."

"No, it's sweet. It's not mouldy," Kaname squinted as he examined his wrist, "Mouldy smells mean infection."

Zero grimaced. Kaname shot him an amused look, and then stood, going towards the door.

"You're allowed to get out of bed if you wish, Zero," he drawled, grinning over his shoulder, "But I want you to be careful. Treat yourself as if you have a cold- take it easy."

"Yes _mom_," Zero called back sarcastically, "Get some rest yourself too!" Kaname looked dead on his feet.

Zero sighed. It was really Sod's Law. The blood that was saving him was also making him ill. He could already tell that he was going to get weakened by this illness, and it wouldn't be getting better. From the start, as soon as he was old enough to understand that he had been cursed with Vampirism, Zero knew he was living on borrowed time. His life expectancy had been cut down a long way. He already knew he was going to die young.

But what a way to go. Dying of some blood disease.

He couldn't help but be furious at himself.

He was going to get weaker and become useless, a burden to those around him. And it was worse that this was happening during wartime, when his skills as a Hunter could've been put to use against the Level E army. On top of that, he was causing Kaname trouble, since he was having to take blood from himself to build up store. Soon Kaname would be leaving, Zero guessed, to go command his army and begin counter-attacking Rido.

Was he holding Kaname back from his duties, with all these problems popping up that Kaname had to deal with too?

Zero clenched his jaw. _Why was he so useless?_

He glared at his bruised wrist, now dark purple and slightly swollen. When he curled it into a fist, it twinged painfully.

He hated it.

_He hated himself._

* * *

><p>Ruka shrieked.<p>

She slapped at the hand on her shoulder, whipping around with a snarl,

"_Damn it_, Hana! I've _told _you to **stop doing-**"

It was Kaname.

_Shit._

"Someone's jumpy," Kaname chuckled.

Ruka huffed, straightening her skirt out, "Someone's happy."

Kaname graciously took her hand and began walking with her, smiling apologetically at her.

"What made you jumpy?"

"I'm tired," she admitted. She blushed, embarrassed by her weakness, but she knew she couldn't lie to Kaname. He could see right through her.

He turned her chin towards him, making her blush more as he studied her eyes.

"Yes, your eyes are red. You should rest."

"I will. I've just been trying to keep an eye on Takuma, like you said," she paused, wondering if he thought she was blaming him, "He's a lot sneakier than I thought."

"Oh? What's Takuma been up to?" he asked, voice alive with humour.

"He's not done anything, really. It's just that he can disappear in like, a _second_. One minute I see him talking with Shiki, the next he's gone, and I'm having to track his scent. He spent a long time in the library. Time when I could have been napping."

"What was he reading?"

"I don't know."

_It was probably to do with Shiki,_ Kaname mused. Probably about Purebloods and how they possess people's bodies. It was good for Takuma to work on that. At least he stayed away from Shiki, and he was doing something useful to help him.

"How is Shiki?"

Ruka scrunched up her nose, making Kaname's gaze soften slightly. He was glad she was warming up to him again, relaxed enough to not always act "like a lady" and treating him like a friend rather than a crush. It had been awkward when she had been so blatantly infatuated with him. He was happy they were starting to be friends again.

"He stinks of blood. I have to be honest with you, I feel uncomfortable around him," she confessed.

His eyes narrowed, "Is it the smell of blood, or can you feel something else about him?"

Ruka shrugged, "I'm not sure. There's something strange about him."

The reason why Kaname had stuck Ruka with the duty of watching over things was also because of her blood power. She had the power of mind control. She wasn't very well-practised with it, but she could pick up on people's "auras" like Kaname could. She could keep an eye on Shiki and see when Rido might be possessing him.

Was she sensing Rido ?

"I want you to pay special attention to him. Scan him if you must. If you see anything alien in him, you must tell me immediately."

"Hai Ka- Kana-kun," she blushed. Kaname laughed. And Ruka-chan was back! _Kana-kun_ was what Ruka used to call him when they were little.

"Good. Don't bother Takuma unless he's around Shiki. I think he's doing some useful research, so you should leave him be."

"Hai," Ruka tugged him back, "Does this mean that you're leaving again?"

He nodded, "I'm going to go check up on Kain and Aidou."

She smirked, "Yeah, you should. I bet Kain's at his wit's end by now."

"I'll go save him then."

"You need to sleep too, Kana-kun," Ruka protested. Kaname scowled, like a child being told their bedtime. "Your eyes are getting bags too."

He bowed his head in submission. She was right. He was exhausted, what with going through the pain of breaking the limit of the Bond when he had left Zero again, and having not slept in a _long while_…

"Fine, I'll go to bed, _as will you_," he drawled, kissing her affectionately on the cheek before heading off to bed.

Ruka touched the place where Kaname's lips had been, taken aback by his unusually affectionate display.

She smiled a little, blushed a little, but hummed with internal pride. It was just a kiss. She didn't feel ecstatic, and her heart hadn't skipped a beat at all…

No, she wasn't in love with him anymore.


	28. Losing

Kaname suppressed a shudder as the needle was pulled out of his arm. He stared at his blood contained in the transparent membrane, connected by a tube. He thanked the doctor, who held the blood bag like it was made of gold. He watched him take the blood and store it away in the locked freezer.

He was handed the key.

"You should sit for a while, sir," the doctor said, tentatively taking off the nose plug. He sniffed the air, his eyes flashed red once, and then he shrugged, deciding that he could cope. He handed Kaname a juice box and offered him a cookie.

"Cute," Kaname mumbled, poking the straw in the juice box.

"Ha, don't think that I'm patronizing you, sir. I'm only following protocol. You should rest for a while, drink something, and have something to eat."

Kaname ate the cookie.

He brushed off the crumbs and stood up. The doctor tsked loudly as he began to walk to the door, but only shook his head.

Kaname checked his watch, tsking himself at how late he was. He "flew" down the corridor, running at speeds only Purebloods could really reach without breaking a sweat.

He stopped outside Zero's door, leaning his head towards it to listen for any movement in the room.

He could only hear the whistling sound of quiet snoring. He sniggered, pushing the door open slowly, to not aggravate the old hinges that squeaked sometimes.

Zero was sprawled on the bed, his head hanging off to the top-right corner. Kaname couldn't see where his pillow had ended up. The duvet had been kicked completely off him, and was crumpled in a heap at the bottom of the bed. Zero's face was half hidden by his arms, which were folded around his ears, crossed to create a cradle for his head to lie in.

Kaname's mouth twitched. The fearless, grumpy Hunter curled up like a baby when he slept.

He silently shuffled over to the bed, taking in the musty, warm smell that enveloped him as he stepped closer to Zero. The smell of sleep. Sweet and warm.

He tucked the key into Zero's curled up hand. The Hunter didn't even stir. Kaname wondered why he hadn't woken up already. He remembered once before when he had come to feed Zero and he had been asleep, he had only managed to glimpse Zero on the bed before the Hunter had leapt up, fully awake, snarling about his stinking Pureblood aura when he went to sit on his bed. The bed had been warm where Zero had slept, and it smelt sweet like it was now.

Now, Zero barely reacted to him.

Kaname's happy mood sank when he caught sight of the bruise, the large dirty mark on Zero's left wrist, now spread to cover the back of his hand and a few centimetres up his arm.

He stroked it gently, feeling the swollen tissue under his fingertips.

Before he could stop himself, he dropped down on one knee, bent over and kissed Zero's hand, right on the bruise.

Kaname flew back in the following milliseconds, just as Zero let out a huff and shuffled around to stick his leg out so it hung off the bed.

_What did I just do?_

Kaname stared at the hand, as if he could see an imprint of his lips on it.

He touched his lips, blushing. There was nothing, no lingering warmth, no evidence of the kiss. It was only evident that something strange had happened because his cheeks were flushed pink. He was happy Zero was sleeping, and they were otherwise alone, without anyone to see him like this.

All he had was the imprint of the two seconds he'd spent, with his face so close to Zero, so close that he could feel when his eyelashes had caught on Zero's arm and smell the Sleeping Smell's intensity multiplied by a hundred, the wash of moist air on his forehead where Zero had huffed-

Kaname's hand moved without his permission, shooting out to touch Zero's lips.

_What am I doing?_

His hand shot back.

_You know exactly what you're doing,_ he told himself, forcing himself to step backwards, _you're giving in. You're losing contr-_

Kaname chewed on his lips and closed the door carefully, quickly "flying" back down the corridor towards the castle entrance.

Maybe he should've listened to the doctor.

The blood loss must be making him act funny.

* * *

><p>Ruka peeked into the library, though this action was not incredibly useful, because the library was <em>huge<em> and she couldn't see anything from where she was. That didn't matter. She held her breath and waited, listening carefully.

Yes, there was someone flicking through a book, and there was a hum of interest. That was Takuma. She left the library.

Next on the list was Shiki, so she hurried over to his room, even though the guy was still probably sleeping. She wondered why he had bled himself out. Was Rido driving him mad? Before, when Kaname had asked her about Shiki, she'd told him the truth. There was something _strange_ about Shiki. She couldn't feel the presence of Rido in him, but when she tried to scan him, there was nothing there.

Ruka wasn't very practised at mind reading at all, but like all the Nobles and their powers, there was always this connection she had with her power. It was instinctive, a part of her, something she was always doing subconsciously and had no control over. When she was around people, she would not only take in their appearance, what they were saying and what they were doing. She also picked up on what their general mood was, what thoughts were currently at the forefront of their minds, sometimes she got a little taste of who they were, when they were being nothing more than themselves.

She didn't know Shiki very well, or at least, not as well as she knew the others. She even knew Takuma and Rima better than she knew him. As a kid her friends group (with Aidou, Kaname and Kain) sometimes included him, when she and the Troublesome Two came over to visit, and Takuma was already there with Kaname. With Rima- she shared a room with her at the Academy, so they were pretty close with just the fact that they had to live with each other and their daily interactions building a solid, comfortable friendship.

All she knew about Shiki was the general sweep she did with all people she met. She knew basic things, like he had an obsession with sweets, he always looked bored with the world when he was actually intrigued by it, he thought that Takuma was the world's happiest idiot because was the most optimistic fool he knew. She related his mind to the colour teal. At first, you would think he was blue- sad and cold, but she could sense that if she dug deeper, the colour blue would go by another name… he was mysterious, like Kaname.

She didn't know what she was looking for in Shiki, though. With Aidou or Kain, who she knew them like the back of her hand, she had references she knew very well that she could compare with. She could identify a "normal" Aidou from a "possessed" Aidou without a single hesitation.

But with Shiki, she wasn't completely sure what was "normal"…

She knocked on the door before entering. Shiki was lying on the bed, staring at the ceiling.

She hurried over to him, a calm smile on her face.

"Good morning, Shiki-kun."

He turned to her, eyes bored and… vacant. She suppressed a shudder.

Something was strange.

"Hello Souen-chan."

She nodded, taking a seat next to his bed, and poked at one of the books on his bedside table.

"Those look interesting," she said lamely. Ruka inwardly cursed Kaname for this job he had given her. She knew she didn't have good 'bedside manner' and she also knew she wasn't a natural with the social phenomenon known as '_small talk'_.

"I wouldn't know," Shiki mumbled. She nodded, opening her mouth to try saying something else, when Shiki cut in rudely, "You're here because?"

"Kaname told me to watch over you," she said.

Shiki sighed, tiredly. Ruka bit her lip, suddenly wishing her best friends were here. If there was one thing she hated (though there were plenty more), it was feeling awkward. Aidou would've livened the place up with his childish excitability, and Kain was actually _really good_ at dousing awkward situations with witty small talk (in Kain's own words, which he had said whilst rolling his eyes at Aidou, he was very good at _breaking the ice_).

She wrung her hands together, wincing at the feel of her sharp, long nails. Maybe she should trim them soon.

"Ruka, I don't want you here."

Ruka froze.

Something was strange- something was _wrong_.

She could feel something settle on Shiki, like a mist. It made her gasp. It was cold.

"Ruka, I can see you."

What did he mean by that? She narrowed her eyes at Shiki, about to snap at him what the hell he was _on_, when her eyes caught his. The coldness trembled through her body, causing goose bumps to erupt on her skin. Was it a trick of the light, or was one of Shiki's eyes darkening-

"Ruka, I want you to leave this room."

_I want you to leave this room_.

Ruka stood shakily, shooting a nervous glance at Shiki, and straightening her skirt. She frowned. _I can see you, _echoed in her head. _I want you to leave this room_. She shuddered.

"I have to go now, Shiki-kun," she said quietly, wanting nothing more than to leave the room at that moment.

Shiki smiled, "It was nice to see you."

She nodded, turning the handle quickly and heading…anywhere. Somewhere far away from Shiki's room. It didn't even matter to her in the slightest that she was doing the opposite of what Kaname had told her to do. There was something very strange with Shiki. Something very wrong.

* * *

><p>Takuma panted under the weight of the pile of books balanced precariously on his arms. Behind him a maid was in a similar state, red-faced and panting under a smaller pile. It hadn't felt very gentlemanly to agree to let her carry books for him, but he'd decided to chop off a good ten books from his pile to hers, giving her a <em>small portion<em>. It always occurred to him at the _end _of a visit to the library, when he was carrying books to his room, that perhaps he had chosen _too many_.

"Ah, thank you miss, can you place them there, on the floor please? I would be grateful if you could open the door for me, I can do the rest!"

He took the books the last part of the way, placing them cautiously onto the bed. The mattress dipped with the weight of it, far further than when _he _was sitting on it. Were there really that many books? Huh, maybe he wasn't very heavy! Or maybe he was carrying more than his own body weight-

"Is that all, Ichijou-sama?" the maid asked. Takuma laughed, patting her on the shoulder as he dismissed her. She'd done a great job!

"You must be really strong!" he cheered as he waved her out of the door. "Go to the infirmary though, make sure you've not damaged your back!"

The reason why he was so _incredibly_ happy today was because thought he had found something. Accomplishment, even a smidgen of it, always brightened Takuma's day.

He grinned at his books.

Takuma was just a very strange boy who loved _work_.

The word 'workaholic' made Takuma laugh.

He reached for one that was sticking out oddly, pretending it was Jenga-

The door slammed open.

Takuma knocked the book over. The book tower collapsed. He sighed sadly at the mess he'd made.

A different maid was panting at the door this time, doubled over as she tried to breathe.

"I…I…chi…"

"Whoa, whoa, you need to sit down!"

He ushered the girl to his desk chair, scrambling around his desk for some papers which he collected together to fan her with.

After a few moments she began to vomit words in a weird order, but Takuma unfortunately found the message incredibly clear.

"…Madame Shi…ki… Kuran-sa…ma…" she grabbed Takuma's arm, "…could…n't… stop… he kill… her…"

His bright mood shattered, and his head dropped respectfully. Madame Shiki was dead. Shiki's mother. Rido had murdered her? Takuma's knuckles were aching as he tightened his fists even more.

What was _wrong_ with that bastard? He killed his own ex-lover. For what reason? Rido didn't need a reason. It actually didn't surprise Takuma very much what he had done. He was mad. He didn't love. He probably killed her on a whim.

It was so random, so unexpected that Takuma didn't know how to react.

He hated Shiki's mother. She was causing him so much trouble, and Takuma hated to see the pain, the love and humiliation in Shiki's eyes as he talked about her. No mother should make their child feel that way. It was abuse.

Shiki loved her though.

Shiki-

Takuma's blood ran cold.

Shiki…

He ran out of the room, running as fast as he could towards Shiki's room. Why did they have to be so far apart?

"Oh Shiki no," he gasped, "No, no, no, no…"

Shiki had a Bond with his mother.

"Please!" he cried, wincing as his bad ankle gave in a little from running.

His mother was dead. Soon, since he was Bonded to her…

"No," he threw open the door to see Shiki was lying on the bed. Takuma doubled over with the force of the sobs falling out of his throat.

…he would die too.


	29. Taming

**Author's Note:**

**To Atheist1- you are on the same brainwave as me, my friend. (nods) very well done to anyone else who has worked through this with the same conclusion! i bet it wasnt as unpredictable as i had thought it would be...but i hope i created some suspense!**

**this is the MOST yaoi-ish chapter i have ever written, and when you read it, im sure youll think "what's the big deal?" but i tell you, you have no idea how red my face was as i was typing this... my Mom asked what the hell i was doing, and i told her it was "biology homework"**

**tch. i dropped biology ages ago!**

**but _everyone_ knows what "biology homework" means. learning about "it" _many years ago_ gave me a permanent blush for a year, every time i walked into the labs...**

**but im like, TOTALLY more maturer nowadays. i dont even giggle when i say peni-hihihihihi-s. (straightfaced) yeah.**

**has anyone had this stupid thing going around school, called the Pen 15 Club? my friend was like- "Hey [puui'srealname], want to join the Pen 15 Club?"**

**and i said "Ok!"**

**so she grabbed the my hand and wrote in HUGE, AMBIGUOUS letters "Pen 15" and i was like "dude! you wrote PENIS on my hand" and then the teacher walked in.**

**gawd, i was sooo stupid and naive last year, srsly.**

**read on folks!**

* * *

><p>He staggered over to the bed, one hand covering his face, his eyes - he didn't want to see…<p>

"Sen…Senri…"

Takuma's hand fell on the mattress, he blindly scrabbled around for Shiki's hand, squeezing it like a lifeline. Ironically, it was like he was the one dying.

He was so cold.

"No," he moaned, pressing his face onto the mattress, just beside Shiki's shoulder. He shook with his sobs, letting his tears melt into the cloth.

"No? No what?"

His head snapped up, and he let out a strangled yelp.

Shiki was staring right at him, under the mess of his auburn hair.

Takuma leapt onto his friend, squashing him to himself, burying his face in Shiki's shoulder as he sobbed loudly.

Shiki bit his tongue as fiery pain laced up his arms and around the wounds on his body, but he didn't want to make Takuma feel worse, since he was… crying. Since when did Takuma cry? He couldn't pat his friend's back with his arms trapped by Takuma's against his chest.

"Why did you look dead?" Takuma whined, wiping his tears on Shiki's shoulder clumsily. He placed him back on the bed, hovering over him on his hands. A few droplets of tears fell onto Shiki's face, but the redhead wasn't bothered by it. His hands were at the source, wiping tears from Takuma's cheeks with his thumbs, like windshield wipers.

"I was _sleeping,"_ Shiki said pointedly, smiling at the blush that began to form on Takuma's wet cheeks. "That's when you _close your eyes_ and lie _really still-"_

"Senri, that isn't funny. There's really bad news."

"Hmm?" Shiki hummed distractedly reaching over to the tissue box on his nightstand. It was just out of reach-

"Your mother, she was killed."

Shiki's arm dropped in shock. His head turned slowly, blue eyes wide. Takuma nodded, drawing him close again and rocking him side to side comfortingly.

"I'm sorry Sen, I'm so sorry…" he whispered, feeling Shiki beginning to cry this time. He felt guilty that while Shiki was mourning, he was just feeling so _happy, _so _relieved _that his best friend, his precious friend was still alive. He could barely imagine what life would be like without Shiki. For just those few moments before, he had already felt despair beyond anything he had ever experienced in his lifetime. It was terrifying, how the world seemed empty, cold, harsh- everything he had felt in only a _few moments_. What would he be without Shiki-

"God, I'm sorry I scared you."

"It's okay. You're fine, I'm so relieved Senri…"

"Takuma," Shiki pulled his head away from his shoulder. Takuma gazed down at his face, confused at the frightened expression on his face. "I'm scared of dying."

"You're fine," Takuma insisted, stroking his cheek tenderly. His heartbeat began to sound louder in his ears as he felt that something bad was about to happen. His other arm swept under Shiki's waist to draw him closer. As long as he was close to him, he would be fine…

"Takuma, I'm going to die."

He shook his head vehemently, "You won't, you're fine," he insisted, beginning to rock them back and forth again.

"I was Bonded to her."

"But you're alive!" Takuma yelled, shaking Shiki. "You're still alive!"

"Only for a while. Soon enough the Bond will catch up to me."

He watched as Takuma's eyes welled up with tears again, and caught his body as he collapsed into another fit of sobs. Shiki wanted to hug Takuma back, but the shock of what he'd been told… His death sentence…

"I hate her!" Takuma hissed.

There was no guessing who "she" was. Shiki hated her too. He hated his parents. What a messed up bunch they were.

He clung to Takuma. As the thought of death sunk in, he realised that he would be apart from him forever. His best friend. The person he'd first met at Kurosu Academy. The person who'd made him feel so welcome in a strange place, more at home than when he was at his real home, more loved than the love his family gave him. Takuma was so much to Shiki, more than he really thought he could ever be to Takuma. Where Takuma had a thousand friends, Shiki could only really count one who stood out from all others.

"I was wondering why it felt so cold," he whispered, shivering as Takuma placed an unexpected kiss on his forehead.

"I'll stop it," he gripped Shiki's chin, "I won't let you go."

Shiki gasped as Takuma began to unbutton his shirt, tugging it away from his neck. He watched Takuma lower himself so his face was right above his, their breaths mingling together. Immediately, he knew what Takuma was going to do.

He shoved him back.

"No!" Shiki cried, "You…you can't do this!"

Shiki knew many of Takuma's dreams, and one of his dreams was to Bond with his someone he loved- something clearly inspired from those ridiculous, girly mangas he read. Shiki had rolled his eyes when he had heard that one, but he remembered it now, and he knew that dream would be broken if they- if he-

Takuma's eyes were shiny, eyelashes matted with tears, this time of embarrassment. What was he thinking? Shiki might not want to be Bonded to _him_. It was a total crime to suddenly push this idea onto him. He lifted himself again, ducking his head in shame.

"It's the only thing I can think of to save you. If I Bite you, your life will be Bonded to mine," he mumbled, shifting to rub his red face self-consciously.

Shiki's heart warmed at the sentiment, so selfless and kind- so _Takuma_. He blushed too. That kind of selflessness proved to him, at least, that Takuma cared about him, a **lot**, which he appreciated. But...

"You told me once, that you dreamt of Bonding with the one you love."

Takuma's blush deepened, but he turned to Shiki again, this time with confidence he dropped another kiss on Shiki's forehead.

Shiki could feel the burning heat of both their faces combined.

If this was the last moment he lived, he would die a happy man.

Takuma smiled shyly as he pulled back from him.

"And that's what I intend to do."

Shiki inhaled sharply, trying not to read too much into what he had just said and done. Who was he kidding…?

"If you're sure," he replied simply, pressing himself flatter on the bed and lengthening his neck.

The heat of Takuma's blushing face radiated onto his skin as it neared the flesh of Shiki's neck. Shiki trembled as he felt Takuma open his mouth, a cloud of warm moist breath, the delicate touch of two needle-sharp fangs perched on the surface of his skin.

The prick at first didn't feel like much, just a little sting.

But then the fangs slid deeper, tentatively- Shiki was aware that Takuma hadn't fed from anyone for a long time, not even a Human (though the Noble families tended to dabble into Humans sometimes as a luxury, at least for old traditions' sake). Shiki almost found it funny that he was able to blush even _more_ at that thought.

As the Bite slid in completely, Takuma's mouth flush with Shiki's flesh, they both groaned at the feeling.

Takuma's tongue flicked out to catch the first droplets of blood. This was the first time he'd ever tasted it, and he moaned at the taste. Unbelievable. Rich and creamy like butter, smooth and _delicious_. His eyelids hooded over bright red eyes as he sank in deeper, opening his mouth to drink more of it.

"Oh god," Shiki gasped, feeling something strange happening. A connection forming, the _Bond_. It was like the arms around him weren't just there, Takuma was _everywhere_. Hugging all around him. So warm and wonderful. He ran his fingers through Takuma's hair, tugging him closer.

With every mouthful of blood Takuma drank, Shiki felt the unbreakable Bond grow and the essence of Takuma he was encapsulated in thrum warmly. The coldness he had felt before had all been cancelled out.

"Takuma," he sighed, closing his eyes in pleasure, "Taku…"

* * *

><p>Ruka headed to Yuuki's room, deciding to deal with the lesser of two evils first. She hoped at least the sunshine-y, bouncy, energetic, generally <em>too happy<em> girl was in her damn room. She was not in the mood to deal with an impromptu hide-and-seek at the moment. The visit to Shiki's had left her feeling on-edge, and Ruka _hated_ feeling uneasy. She didn't even remember what had happened to make her leave like that. All she could recall was feeling like she had to leave, so she did.

"Yuuki-hime?" she called, knocking sharply on the door.

The door opened promptly, and Yuuki's smiling face popped through the gap. "Ruka-chan?"

"I was just coming by to check up on you," she said as pleasantly as she could muster. Ruka tried not to behave rudely around Yuuki, but she had a personal grudge against the girl. Before, she had been jealous of Yuuki for Kaname's attention. That was in the past. Now she was jealous of Yuuki for her happy-go-lucky personality, and how she could breeze past in relative happiness, in her own personal protective bubble Kaname had constructed for her.

It was thanks to Kaname being too protective of her that Yuuki was too innocent. Ruka often wondered if Yuuki would even know that the world had blown up if that was to happen someday. She mused that by overprotecting Yuuki, Kaname was making it much more dangerous for the time when Yuuki would break into the real world, where there was the _real_ pain. The shock of it would be devastating.

"I'm fine," Yuuki chirped, "Just fine. I've been to the library. There's not much to do around here, you know? Especially with Kaname gone again."

The way she spoke - as if there wasn't a war happening at all...

"Ah, well there are lovely gardens around the Castle, though I suppose Kaname-sama would not want you to go outside at the moment…"

"Hmm? Well I'm alright. I can entertain myself fine. Anyway, Yori-chan sent me some homework," Yuuki groaned, pointing out a small pile of books on her desk, "So I'm gonna be kept busy anyway."

"Alright then, good day Yuuki-hime," Ruka bowed and shut the door.

Last on the list: Zero.

Joy of all joys.

She scurried down the halls, for once, hating the sheer size of the Castle. She was going to be worn out babysitting these people!

Ruka slowed down as she caught the whiff of… blood? She shook her head, it was only small.

Zero… she had saved him till last because she could already imagine what trouble she was going to run into. With the other lesser evil of two (a.k.a. Yuuki), she was easy to deal with. But with Zero? Ruka was going to have a struggle to get him to speak to her, let alone to question how he was doing.

She rapped her knuckles on his door sharply.

"Kiryuu, I'm coming in, are you decent?" she yelled, well-used to dealing with boys who liked freaking out girls in various states of undress.

Kain was so shameless.

"Yeah!"

She opened the door, quickly locating Zero under a pile of blankets.

Upon closer inspection, she could see that he wasn't even _dressed_, but was swaddled in the blankets, _naked_ shoulders peeking out of the top.

"I asked if you were _decent_," she said through gritted teeth.

"This is the most decent I can manage," he snapped.

"What, you can't dress yourself?" she strode over towards him, recoiling at the powerful smell of sweat.

"Not in enough time to greet you. I'd want a shower first," he grumbled, tugging the blankets to cover his shoulders more. It made the part covering his legs shimmy up, revealing bruises on his shins.

"I certainly hope you aren't _completely_ naked under there."

"I've got fucking boxers on," Zero growled moodily. Clearly he wasn't even in the mood to rally back with a teasing comment, or a sneer.

"Are you alright, Kiryuu?" Ruka asked, finally feeling a bit concerned when his scowl twisted into a grimace.

"I feel like my body's on fire one second, and then cold the next. My body is getting bruised everywhere when I haven't even done anything to get them. I feel like shit."

Ruka stared at the bruises on his legs. Her eyes widened as she saw it actually spreading down to his ankle in real-time. What was going on? It had to be the strange blood disease thing Kiryuu was going through.

"I know what it's like to feel hot and then cold at the same time," she said attempting to cheer him up, "You haven't ever been on the caught in the middle of one of Kain and Aidou's water versus fire tournaments, have you? At least they cancel each other out, otherwise I'd have gotten toasted and frostbite at the same time!"

Zero's mouth twitched, but he otherwise didn't look at all cheered up.

Ruka sighed.

She needed to work on her social skills. A pretty face she had, but that was only good enough to look at.

She stared at Zero, seeing the darkening bruise, the way he was shuddering every now and again, from the waves of pain and heat or cold battling his body.

"You need blood," she realised.

Zero shook his head, "I drank yesterday."

"But from what the doctor said, it suggests that the Pure blood you're getting from Kaname is mostly being destroyed by your Hunter blood. That would mean you need more Pure blood, wouldn't you?"

"I don't think it works that way Souen."

"Let me get you some," she said, holding her hand out for the key. Kaname had told her that Zero had the only key to the fridge. She had been permitted to force Zero to drink if he refused.

"It won't help me," Zero protested, but handed over the key anyway.

Ruka retrieved a bag of blood from the infirmary, her hands holding the bag like it was a baby.

Zero rolled his eyes, taking the bag from her. She watched, aghast, as he casually nicked a hole in the plastic with his fang and sucked on it like it was one of those yoghurt tubes.

What a way to drink Pure blood.

She sighed as he handed her the empty bag, wincing as some blood dribbled onto her fingers. She was glad she was used to being around Kaname. The temptation was great to lick off some of the blood, it smelt so good, but Ruka knew somehow that Kaname would be furious with her if she tasted it. She knew what he looked like when he was furious, and she didn't want to face that.

"Feeling any better?"

Zero rolled his eyes again, "It takes some time for it to start working, if it even _will_."

They waited in tense silence for anything to happen. Both of their eyes ended up focusing on the visible bruise on Zero's leg. Nothing changed.

After a few minutes, Ruka got impatient.

"Can you feel anything happening?"

"Nothing," Zero admitted with a shrug, "Maybe that's a good thing. I don't think the fever thing is as bad, though I can't be sure. It's only been a few minutes."

"That's good, I suppose," she agreed.

"I shouldn't have drunk that though," Zero muttered, "Kaname's left, hasn't he? We don't know how long he'll be gone for. If I drink them all too quickly and they run out, I don't know what will happen."

"If you don't drink enough and die before then, what will happen?" Ruka sniped back. She scoffed, "Don't be stupid. Kaname won't leave you starving. He won't even let you go hungry. Have you seen the fridge?"

Zero nodded. He wasn't worried about the blood supply. Kaname was already being more than generous enough to drain himself of blood for him, and there was plenty of blood in the fridge, let alone the freezer, to last him a while.

But Zero was afraid. He didn't completely know why he was, but there was this sense of _danger_ that was nagging at the back of his mind.

When he woke up that morning, he had felt this hunger for blood hit him in the face.

It was strong, like a bloodthirst, but even more desperate than he would have expected. It was the feeling of "must drink blood or die" that he got at the very end of a fasting period, when he was beginning to lose his right state of mind and obsess about drinking Kaname's blood.

Only this time, the thought was different, he felt an unexplainable rage burning in his chest, the desire to lash out, even at Ruka who was being quite civil and even _kind_ to him.

It was animal, and wild, and Zero could only hope it didn't mean what he thought it did.

After drinking the bagged blood, he felt better, but only like his thirst had been quenched, and he knew somehow that it would come back sooner than later.

The thought had been more like "must drink or kill".

In Zero's opinion, it could only be the mindset of a Level E.


	30. Planning

**Author's Note:**

**Hello guys! OMG we have reached 30 chapters! I told you this story would be a long one.**

**I still can't predict how long it will be. 50 chapters? 60 chapters? If this seems to long to anyone, please say so. I don't blame you if you decide it's too long. There are those who like long, juicy, jam-packed full, explosive, 100000+ word long stories...**

**And there are those who dont'. I'm not _favoring anyone _or anything, but I'm personally with the first lot :)**

**There's nothing i love more than sinking my teeth into a huge, whopper of a fanfiction. I tooootally obsess with the story till I've got through all 100 of the chapters! (no joke, most of the time i target 60000 words + for a good read, not that i dont love one-shots)**

**Anyhoo, enough about me! On with the story!**

**ps. this looks like a filler chapter. i swear i didnt plan it this way, but that's the way it turned out ." what a let-down for a 30-chap-kiriban, huh?**

* * *

><p>"Shit, there's this stupid root I swear-"<p>

"Get off," Kain snapped, grabbing the writhing figure swaddled in foamy sleeping bag. The irritating thing was stopping him from sleeping, and after having trekked some thirty kilometres through local villages, calling out Vampires till his voice was hoarse and meeting with village Elders, _he wanted to __**sleep.**_

And Aidou had even taken the _good_ side of the roll mattress to cushion himself higher on the bumpy ground. _He _was the one suffering with feeling the rocks and sticks under his aching muscles through the thinner side he was on.

Kain rolled the sleeping cocoon over, dodging the mild attempts Aidou made at biting his fingers, as he dug underneath him and pulled the rock out from under his mattress.

"We're sleeping in the fucking woods, Hana-chan. You're gonna have to deal with some nature, princess," he growled, shoving him back on the mattress.

Aidou snapped his jaws at Kain, yelping as burning hot fingers poked his forehead. Kain quickly cooled himself down and rubbed his forehead apologetically, though Aidou smacked him away so he could cool the red mark on his forehead with his own powers.

"Fuck, Kain, get a grip! You nearly burned a hole in my head."

Kain backed off sulkily, just the way he always did when he was anxious. It made Aidou smirk to himself. Really, Kain was too naïve sometimes, thinking he had to treat Aidou so carefully. When they had begun to grow from children to the "men" they were now, they had _obviously_ strived to become the tallest, but Kain had won hands down. He dwarfed Aidou, being a full four and a half inches taller than him, and just generally _broader_ in shoulder width etc. It used to bug Aidou, but then he grew up and decided to not care about those childish jealous feelings. Kain could be tall if he wanted to be. Aidou could be smaller and _not suck at hide-and-seek,_ so **there**!

Kain always freaked out when he thought he hurt Aidou, because he was just ridiculously _small and weak_ compared to him, in his opinion (Aidou rolled his eyes at Kain's ego). And because Aidou thought Kain needed some punishment, if he was going to be so _stupid_ to think he was _**small and weak**_, he laid it on _real thick_ when Kain "hurt" him.

"Geez, this is gonna bruise!" he warned Kain, sniggering inwardly as he saw Kain's ears flush red.

"You aren't _that_ delicate, Hana," he griped, tilting Aidou's head back anyway so he could check it in the moonlight.

They both froze as they heard the sound of snapping footsteps. Kain immediately lit his palms, holding them up carefully, aware that they were surrounded by trees.

He stood up slowly, holding his arms out.

"What are you doing?" Aidou hissed, "You're making us a target!"

"Hello?" Kain called, ignoring Aidou. "Is somebody there?"

Aidou tugged on the hem of his trousers, but otherwise followed him with his eyes as Kain stalked around their small campsite. He also curled his fingers, forming sharp ice spikes in them, ready to lease them like darts to any intruder.

There was another loud snap of a branch as the intruder neared the, Aidou flinched as a branch was pushed aside.

It was Rima.

How anticlimactic.

They both whined.

"Holy crap Rima-chan, could you be any creepier?"

Rima shrugged, going to sit on the edge of the roll mattress and beginning to root through Kain's pack for some food. The fire-master didn't even bother trying to stop her. She had the same obsession with snacking as Shiki did, and the two of them got their snacks no matter how hard you tried to stop them. He briefly glared at her though. She was _another _one of those annoying people who could eat and not gain weight.

"So, I thought you were on a mission," he grumbled, watching her dig out a pack of wrapped toffees.

"I finished it. We cleared up the mess," she paused to unwrap the sweet. "It was over quickly."

The mess. The remains of a Level E ransacked village. The whole village was probably stained in blood. They tried not to breathe with their noses. Rima stank of death.

He unwrapped the toffee for her, feeling sympathetic to what she had had to face.

"Then when I was going back home, I heard you two bickering."

They blushed.

"I thought I was imagining things, but I guessed you had some food, so…"

"We're here on a mission too. We're recruiting for the army," Kain told her. She nodded, chewing slowly.

"Hmm, well if you don't mind, I'd like to join you. The Hunters warned me about going back home alone. They said it was dangerous to travel alone now. It was almost like they were suggesting they escort me home," a small smile sprung to her lips, "I think they might have warmed up to me a bit. They were almost grateful for my help."

Aidou gaped. Kain nodded. He expected that the Hunters would be repeating the same _almost-_camaraderie they had shared during the previous War, when they had been allied against a greater enemy. This behaviour didn't surprise him.

"Okay Rima-chan, you can have my side of the mattress," he said tugging his sleeping bag onto the ground. "You can steal some of Aidou's covers, he doesn't mind."

"Hey, I _do-!"_

Rima crawled into Kain's space and unzipped Aidou's bag, grabbing a good portion of the covers for herself. Aidou balked at her, but grudgingly unzipped the rest of it, spreading it over them like a blanket.

Kain nodded in approval, squeezing into his own bag and wincing at the hardness of the floor.

He cushioned his head on his arm, remembering why he was suffering the hard floor for his _delicate_ cousin, and the only girl among them. His father had always said to him, being a Vampire meant being a gentleman.

* * *

><p>Takuma's red eyes mirrored Shiki's. He hovered above him, so close that their noses tickled each other, and he could see the reflection of his own eyes in Shiki's, fading out to his usual green colour.<p>

He licked his lips.

"That was…"

Shiki reached up a finger to wipe away the droplets of blood on his face. He was panting and looked weaker than before. Takuma wondered if he had taken too much blood. But once the blood had hit his tongue, it had totally seduced him, and he had surrendered to his lust, sucking the blood out of Shiki faster than his heart could pump it to him.

He touched the two little dots where his fangs had punctured, watching them fade as they healed.

Perhaps he had been too rough.

"How do you feel?" he asked quietly, ducking down to lick away the scabbed blood. It startled him how forward he was being. He wasn't usually this physical with Shiki, but somehow he was beginning to feel incredibly comfortable with touching him.

"I feel warm," Shiki smiled at Takuma, tenderly wrapping his arms around him. "Thanks, Taku."

The blonde nuzzled his friend's neck, also appreciating the warmth between them.

* * *

><p>Kaname caught the smell of smoke on the wind and began to head in that direction. He had long since lost Aidou and Kain's scent trails. They were well-seasoned with the art of masking their scents so as to not be followed. But he could smell fire, in a <em>forest<em>.

He found three of his friends curled up on the floor sleeping, Kain occasionally shifting or twitching. A small fire to the side of them, contained by a circle of rocks.

Kaname shook his head. Where was the lookout? One year of peace after the War had softened them, they had forgotten that you should always have one person stayed awake and alert whilst the others slept. They were the perfect bait for unsuspected attack.

He circled them contemplatively, choosing his victim.

He kicked Kain unceremoniously on the rump.

Kain squawked, scrambling upright, with one hand still trapped in his sleeping bag and the other holding a flame.

Kaname crouched down beside him, raising a brow at his friend's dumbfounded expression. He poked Kain in the forehead.

"Kaname?"

He hummed, gently slapping Kain on the back of the head to show his disapproval. The fire-master jostled Aidou awake, expertly dodging badly aimed blows, even in his half-awake state. Rima was already awake, her cerulean eyes half-lidded calmly.

"Hello Kaname," she mumbled, rubbing sleep from her eyes.

"Kaname-sama?" Aidou squeaked, peeking out from under Kain.

"I've come to check up on you," Kaname explained, turning to coax the fire. The others watched in awe as he simply reached into the flames, looking like he was arranging a flower bouquet, the way he tugged the flames higher with his fingers and made them glow brighter. "How did it go?"

"Badly. We only have fifty-nine so far," Kain answered. Kaname pulled a face.

"That's barely enough for a platoon."

"We've asked them to get more people to come," Aidou exclaimed, "And they're now going to their towns to spread the word. We've been going around the local area too, talking to village Elders to get people to come tomorrow to HQ. We're meeting there, hopefully with a larger number."

"Good job," Kaname said, standing up and brushing off his pants. "But I want you to do something else now for me."

Seiren stepped out of the bushes, causing Aidou to gasp harshly and fall half onto Rima in a coughing fit from swallowing cinders.

"Seiren will go with Rima to HQ tomorrow, to round up the recruits. You two will scout ahead. Find someplace suitable for training the new recruits. Kain, I suggest that you head north of here," Kaname pointed off to one side, where Seiren scratched an arrow in the dirt, "Go up to the border, you will feel it- a slight resistance in the air. That is the Hanadagi territory border."

Kain and Aidou's eyes widened drastically. The Hanadagi clan was one of the remaining Pureblood clans, but one that had long been dormant. The whole family had suddenly decided to go into hibernation around a hundred years ago and were supposedly intending to continue to sleep for another four hundred years. No one knew very much about them because they had been isolated from the world for so long.

Kaname noticed their trepidation. He quickly pulled out a small scroll from his jacket pocket, it roughly equivalent to the size of a tube of lipstick. It was slightly pink, perhaps from the fire light? But no, as Aidou was handed it, he caught the smell of rich blood and felt the coarse, porous surface of the paper, similar to blotting paper, but thicker like parchment.

It was blood paper- a tool which Vampires (usually the higher ranked ones) used to write Wills or Pledges- any formal document that was serious enough that you'd want to put your blood in it.

"I'm almost certain they are still Sleeping," Kaname said in a soothing voice, "But should you encounter that bodyguard of theirs, you will have to tell them that you come under Kuran Kaname's protection and by his name you wish to borrow their land. That location is really ideal. If there is any further trouble; if they Awaken, all you should do is show them this," he gestured to the scroll, "That should sort things out."

"What is it?" Aidou couldn't help but burst out, curious as ever. Though he didn't dare to untie the string on the scroll.

"Never you mind," Kaname drawled, shooting a look at Kain which clearly said "_Watch him"_.

He smiled at them all encouragingly, "Thank you, everyone. You're all doing a fine job. I hope you continue to be careful though, watch out for each other."

With that, he left.

* * *

><p>Takuma was back in his room now, flicking through the books at random and adding to his carefully scripted notes. Even with three pages filled with little titbits of information on Pureblood powers (which were all written vaguely) and possession (which was usually written briefly and then avoided skilfully before they went too far in depth), he found himself being drawn to one conclusion. They all pointed to the same solution.<p>

Pure blood.

Pure blood was equivalent to an elixir. It was referred to in every medical journal Takuma came across. But, like most things written about Purebloods, the notes were sketchy. Not many people had ever been able to use Pure blood as a medicine. It wasn't surprising. Purebloods were held as the most precious people in Vampire society. To harm a Pureblood was to face death.

Probably even _writing_ about using Pure blood as a medical product was rather risky.

However, Takuma knew personally how Pure blood worked as a cure. He had, of course, used it many times himself as a child, when young Kaname had been horribly bored waiting for Takuma's recurring illnesses to pass and decided to shoot him with Pure blood shots in secret.

They definitely had a healing factor in them, even a curing or strengthening quality, because Takuma's health nowadays was much, much better.

Takuma wondered if Kaname would be willing to give some of his blood to Shiki.

But Kaname hadn't really hung around Shiki very much, which was startling in itself to Takuma. He expected Kaname would be dealing with Shiki _first_, not only because he was his cousin, but because he was a direct link to Rido, if he _really was_ being possessed by him.

Why was Kaname neglecting Shiki? Takuma didn't even know where Kaname was, or what he was doing, which unsettled him. Out of all Kaname's friends, he liked to think that he was Kaname's most-trusted. Kaname had on occasion referred to Takuma as his confidante; he even remembered one birthday when Kaname had gazed at him warmly, handed him a bundle of rare first edition mangas and called him 'brother'.

It annoyed- no, it saddened Takuma, very much that he had no idea what Kaname was up to, or why he was letting his new Bond mate suffer.

Maybe he had to look at it from a different angle, he mused. Kaname had a lot on his plate already. He was one man, after all, he couldn't do everything himself. Maybe Kaname was dealing with the problems _he_ prioritised, and was leaving the rest to Takuma, his most-trusted.

If that was so, Takuma thought, _Kaname will not be alone in this War_.

He would have to deal with things on the "home-front" he decided.

And Takuma knew exactly what problem he would start with.

Of course, now, his priority had to be _Shiki_.


	31. Pureblood Secrets

**Author's note:**

**oji-san = uncle**

**I read somewhere that Yagari called Kaien "oji-san" at one point, and I thought it was cute, so I've used it.**

**Isnt it cute?**

* * *

><p>Zero woke the next day, again thirsty for blood but reluctant to get it. He stumbled out of bed, his foot catching on the mess of damp blankets, and tumbled onto the floor with a yelp. Groaning, he continued to crawl towards the bathroom, grateful that no one was there to see him in such a pitiful state. He washed his body slowly, careful not to press on the bruises which he solemnly counted one by one, on his arms, chest, legs…<p>

In Zero's mind, in his dream even, he imagined the three bloods inside him were like little armies of cells. The Pure blood army and Hunter army fought ruthlessly beneath his skin. The bruises were the abandoned battlefields, filled with the wounded and the dead.

He dressed back into his old clothes, noting that he had finally run out of all the clothes he had packed in his little wooden suitcase. He hadn't anticipated spending more than a few days at the castle, of course. He left the room and headed towards the Infirmary, hearing the cries of the Vampire blood cells in him starving for blood. They were quite persistent, and he wasn't in a mood to put up with his hunger pangs. The Infirmary was empty, which confused Zero, since Ruka had explained to him the evening before why the Castle was so empty. Shiki was supposedly sick, and Takuma was hanging around him as usual. Shouldn't they be in the Infirmary?

Zero unlocked the fridge and counted the number of bags there were: three. He took one and quickly nipped it with his fang, sucking on it leisurely. He still didn't like the way the cold, thick liquid stuck to his throat and made his stomach feel uncomfortably numb. Zero had to admit that Kaname's blood tasted much better when it was straight from him, fresh and hot and soothing… he drained it and chucked it into the incinerator like Ruka had told him to before locking up and going out to wander the corridors. How long had it been since he had walked around? His legs were like a deadweight, difficult to move and stiff, but the rhythmic beat of his feet on the floor and feel of his muscles moving once more was quite therapeutic.

Zero let his feet take him where they wanted. He was tired of trying to control his body anymore.

It almost made him laugh when he found his feet had taken him outdoors without him noticing it, on the path he recognised which led to the "strolling" garden, filled with roses. He eagerly reached out to the trailing rose vines and ducked into the little hideaway, behind the green walled hedges.

He didn't expect to see Yuuki in the little garden.

She was playing with the water bowl, dropping rose petals in them. They floated like little red boats on the surface, making it ripple in currents.

Zero was struck by the thought that he hadn't spoken to Yuuki since the Coronation. He hadn't actually seen her since then, apart from when he had blacked out and woken up in the Infirmary before. Where had she been, and what had she been doing? He guessed the reason why she'd been so scarce was because Kaname was making sure she stayed out of the picture this time. Rido had really done a number on her in the last War, trying to steal her from them as a substitute for her mother.

Zero purposefully let his footsteps be heard.

She immediately looked up, her mouth spreading into a wide smile.

"Zero! I've not seen you for forever," she sighed, hurrying to his side and hugging him tightly. He sighed, holding her close. She would always provide a comfort to him, just because she was always ready to give him a hug when he needed it. Yuuki was like a stable anchor who always kept him grounded.

"I've missed you," he said truthfully, grinning at her pleased blush. "Princess, have you been hiding from the world? I've not seen you around."

She smacked him in the chest, "I've been busy!" she pouted, "Kaname told me I have to stay in the Castle, so I've been doing that. I've been in my room, doing my homework."

Zero's eyebrow rose all the way up to his hairline, causing Yuuki to whack him again.

"You're supposed to be impressed!"

"Oh I am. I'm impressed you even brought your homework with you- ow. OW," Zero rescued his ear from Yuuki's grip, glowering at the equally glowering girl.

Yuuki took his hand and began leading him around the space surrounding the fountain. Her awed expression was so endearing that Zero allowed her to do so without much complaint.

"I just got so bored, you know? Oh, don't answer that," Yuuki huffed, "And I went outside, and I found this place! Isn't it wonderful? I've never seen so many roses in my life!"

"It is wonderful," Zero agreed, plucking one rose from its stem and sniffing its contents contentedly.

"You don't look as thrilled as I thought you'd be, Zero. I thought you loved roses?"

"I do. But I've been here before, with Takuma."

Yuuki made a hum of understanding, taking a rose for herself to tuck behind her ear.

"I heard this was my mother's garden," she said quietly. Zero glanced down at her, worried she would be upset by this. But she only looked thoughtful.

She dragged him over to the pergola, he was again faced by its green depths, this time smelling a citrusy scent as a breeze wafted through it.

"Have you heard the story behind this?" she asked, gesturing to it. He nodded. "Isn't it strange? It's like a mystery!" her eyes sparkled, causing Zero to chuckle, "That was _her_ special place. I wonder why it won't open anymore…"

"Takuma said not to bother with it, Yuuki-chan," he said, trying to leading her away from it, "It's a waste of time. No one has made it to the end."

"Nooo," she whined, tugging him back, "There must be a _clue_, Zero! Like a puzzle we have to solve to get there!"

"Why would you care about getting there?" he scoffed, regretting saying that as soon as he did. Of course she'd want to see what was there. That was her mother's garden.

Yuuki shrugged, "I don't really know," she said honestly, "But when there's a secret like this, don't you just wanna know?"

Zero realised she was right. His curiosity had been peaked.

"It's strange enough that a garden can just close itself off," Yuuki mused, "I wonder if she wanted to hide something in it."

* * *

><p>Kain threw his bag a few feet in front of him. The two of them glanced around the area suspiciously, wary of anything lurking in the bush around them. Nothing moved. He motioned Aidou to go forwards.<p>

When Kaname had said that the location of the Hanadagi grounds was perfect for training, he was absolutely right. The land was flat and clear of vegetation, unlike the dark, forested grounds of the Kuran territory.

"Did it go through the border?" Aidou hissed from somewhere near his left elbow. Kain nodded. "Is it zapped, or smoking, or something?"

"No, it's safe, just _go_!" he snapped, nudging the small blonde to crawl out of the undergrowth.

As they had approached the border, which like Kaname had said, they could literally _feel_ like it was some sort of light force-field (only strong enough to make them aware of its presence, not enough to block them out), they had become more edgy in the unfamiliar territory. They were also cautious because this was one of the few other Pureblood clans in the world they were trespassing on. Kaname was the only real Pureblood they knew well, and as his friends, they knew him on a level that unfamiliar Purebloods may not appreciate. Kain feared what may happen if they offended the Hanadagi clan. He could not even guess what may happen.

He sent Aidou first because he had vehemently laid claim over responsibility for the blood paper scroll, refusing to hand it over to Kain, because "Kaname-sama gave it to _me_ to look after!"

Kain didn't mind at all. He only told Aidou that _he_ would have to go first into the territory then.

Aidou literally tiptoed out of the forest, sticking his leg out like one would approach a cold swimming pool, testing the waters with his shoe-clad toes.

"It kind of… feels weird, Kat!"

"How unexpected," he drawled sarcastically, deciding Aidou was taking too long, since he was inching his way _along_ the border rather than crossing it. He stepped forwards, feeling his skin prickle uncomfortably as he stepped across and retrieved his bag.

"See Hana?" he said, patting the ground with his feet, "It's perfectly solid."

"I'm not talking about the ground," Aidou huffed, striding across to join him. "It's this _place!_"

"What do you expect? We're in foreign territory now."

"I dunno… I don't feel welcome…" Aidou whispered.

Kain rolled his eyes at his melodrama, thinking Aidou was teasing him.

He realised he wasn't when he felt a rope going around his wrists and his knees being kicked in.

His own weight crushed his ankles when he was forced into a kneeling position, the ropes on his wrists tightening and rubbing his wrists raw. Kain began to struggle when he realised what was happening, and he heard the sound of Aidou also panicking against their attackers. Caught off guard, it totally escaped his mind that he could burn the ropes off. And he just didn't have time to when his attacker yanked his head back so he could see him.

It was a middle-aged man whose eyes looked like they were examining Kain's face, searching for something. He twisted his arms, but that hurt more.

"Who _are_ you?" the man asked.

Kain grimaced, "I could ask the same."

"You're a trespasser. Hanadagi-sama could have you down in the Cell for a month," the man threatened.

"Akatsuki Kain," he blurted, nodding his head towards where he thought Aidou was, "That's my cousin, Aidou Hanabusa."

He heard Aidou squawk in indignation but ignored him. The situation had gone from cautious to actually dangerous. He was willing to give the man their names if it was required.

"Ah, Nobles," the man said, releasing Kain and Aidou's ropes. They both staggered to their feet, gasping and rubbing their wrists that would definitely blister. "What brings two Nobles onto Hanadagi-sama's land, _uninvited_."

"We're looking to borrow Hanadagi-sama's land for training," Kain said slowly.

"Training?"

"Our armies," Aidou blurted, blushing at Kain's deathly glare.

"Armies…" the man repeated. Kain shifted. He couldn't help but feel uncomfortable with sharing information with this man, though he couldn't figure out why. Kaname had said the Hanadagi family were served by a guard. This must be that man.

"We come under Kuran Kaname's name," he added.

There was a flash in the man's eyes.

Before Kain could order Aidou to _Run, go get Kaname!_ the man had already pounced on them, somehow managing to bind Aidou in ropes in seconds, and have Kain under his own body, wrestled to the ground.

"Kuran Kaname, eh?" the man hissed into his ear, "Well isn't that a shame?"

* * *

><p>Kaname was secretly quite pissed under the charming exterior he projected to the two Hunters he sat with. He had "flown" right over to the Hunters HQ to meet with them about a sudden "update" that Kaien had obtained from his spies. Some of the junior Hunters had been sent out as spies to scout the area for Rido, and to investigate the sudden splurge of Level Es and their source. But the note he'd been sent by Kaien suggested there was something else he was going to be told.<p>

When he had arrived at HQ, he'd been told the Hunters had decided to meet him at Kuran Castle instead. He had to "fly" all the way back to the Castle. By this time he _still_ hadn't broken a sweat, but he _was_ beginning to lose his breath a little.

He wasn't in the mood for pleasantries.

"What did you find, Kaien?"

Kaien too looked rather drawn and out of humour, which worried Kaname more.

"Have you found anything?" he asked Kaname, "We haven't. No locations. We only have a theory-"

"Kaien worked something out," Yagari cut in, shooting a look at his mentor, "Cut to the chase, oji-san."

"I've been thinking," Kaien said, ignoring his hated nickname, "About the Level Es."

Kaname nodded.

"It's a very simple idea that I have, but I'm almost certain it must be true."

"Fucking spit it out," Yagari snarled. Kaname wanted to punch them both.

"Level Es can only be created by Purebloods, can't they? No other Vampire has the power to do so. I'm sure that Rido is creating a lot of them, but he couldn't have made hundreds all on his own."

Kaname's blood ran cold.

What was Kaien suggesting? That another Pureblood was helping Rido make his armies?

How _dare _that Pureblood betray Kaname like this? He was their King.

"What if it isn't just him Turning the Humans?"

Kaname shook his head in denial. He couldn't _believe_ the other Purebloods would betray him. They were probably the only other Vampires who knew, from their own personal histories, how much damage a tyrant like Rido could cause. He was a _monster_. They knew this. They knew-

"Kaname? What do you think?"

_What did he think?_

"I think it's preposterous," he announced in a misleadingly calm voice, "...but I cannot reject your hypothesis because it disagrees with me. It is a logical deduction."

"I don't mean to offend any of the Purebloods," Kaien said in a placating tone. Kaname nodded. He wasn't so mad with fury that he couldn't see that Kaien was only offering a theory.

It was just that the theory terrified Kaname.

He was the King. He still could control the highest of the Vampire classes - no problem. But so much blood would be spilt, so much _Pure blood_ he would have to spill, to get them under his control. There were only two ways things could go, if what Kaien suggested was true.

Either the Pureblood clans would have to return to his side, or they would have to die by his hand.

Treason meant death. Even to Purebloods.

How would his people see him if he had to resort to killing Purebloods to defeat Rido? They wouldn't understand. None of his people would understand why he had done it. They didn't _know_ the danger Rido was to them, or that a thousand lives may pay the price to have him dead, and Kaname would fully maintain that the sacrifices weren't in vain.

"I think it's a mad idea, but it must be true. I don't want it to be true, but it is," Kaname said, glancing over at his friend warily, "Is there anything else you have to tell me?"

"There were a few of my people scouting around the perimeter of your grounds. It has occurred to us that there are two Pureblood families who share a border with your grounds. They are the prime suspects since they are so close by. Rido would have perfect access to your Castle from their grounds if he has been using one of their homes as a base, which would explain why all the Level E attacks are so local."

"The Purebloods' names are Hanadagi and Shouto," Yagari said, lighting a cigarette. "And since oji-san is friends with this Shouto Isaya guy, and trusts him with his life and shit, he doubts he'll have dealings with Rido, which leaves-"

"Hanadagi."

Kaname's heart had dropped.

Kain and Aidou were in Hanadagi territory.

_**What have I done?**_


	32. We Find In Blood

**Author's Note:**

**OMG. I went crazy at the first part of this chap. It's kinda... weird. Tell me if it bothers you. It bothers me...**

* * *

><p>Takuma only heard from a passing comment from Ruka that Kaname was in the Castle when she was complaining to a maid about the state of Kaname's clothing.<p>

He decided to catch Kaname before anyone else could. He was taking the chance.

He knocked on Kaname's door, opening it straight after. If Kaname didn't want him in, he wouldn't be able to get in.

"Kaname, I have something I need to ask you."

Takuma stopped when he saw the distraught face of his best friend. He quickly grasped Kaname's shoulder, asking him what was wrong.

Back before when Takuma had complained about not knowing what Kaname was up to?

That was smashed completely as Kaname spilled everything to him.

Takuma was left speechless. Perhaps it wasn't the best time to ask for Kaname's help. He was already holding so much on his shoulders, including the recent guilt that he had sent some of his closest friends possibly straight into the hands of the enemy.

"We can't be sure," he tried to reassure Kaname. It was scary to think of what potential danger Kain and Aidou could be in, but until they had proof it would be unwise to accuse the other Pureblood clan. That would surely raise even more trouble if they found out they were in fact innocent, and Kain and Aidou were actually okay.

Takuma's heart throbbed when Kaname rolled his hung head back to look up at him, and he asked determinedly,

"What was it you need my help with?"

He wanted to say, "_Nothing, you have enough on your shoulders. I can handle it,"_ but he could also see in his mind something he couldn't ignore: the fear in Shiki's eyes, the way he traced the new scar on his face repeatedly, the way he begged him to save him-

"It's Shiki."

He regretted saying it like _that_ when Kaname almost fell out of his chair as he tried to reach Takuma. Kaname was probably thinking that Shiki had attacked him or something! He flailed, quickly correcting his mistake.

"He's fine! Well… he's healthy again, almost. And Rido hasn't done anything to him. But I think I've found a way to help him before Rido _can_ take him. It's all to do with the scar, I think. I've been reading-"

"Taku, Taku," Kaname growled, "Get to the bloody _point_."

"Sorry. I've read that Pure blood is often a cure-all solution to many things, _including_ scars and curses. Possibly possession…"

He watched, feeling confidence fall away as Kaname's face darkened and he began to rub his temples. This meant Kaname was both pissed and about to flip his lid. What did he say to piss him off…?

"So, let me get this straight, you want me to give Shiki some of my blood?"

"Yes," Takuma said quietly. "It's the only thing I can come up with. Maybe Pure blood can cure a Pureblood-inflected wound."

Kaname thought to himself that for the second time in the hour he was hearing a perfectly logical theory from a close friend, and everything he was saying made perfect sense.

And yet again, he wasn't happy to hear it.

For some reason, he felt anger far beyond anything Takuma deserved boiling in his gut. It was considered an insult to ask a Pureblood for their blood, but between Takuma and Kaname, he knew there were none of those restrictions between them. Takuma could insult Kaname all he wanted - he could completely disrespect him for all that he was, and still Kaname would never deny him his blood if he asked for it.

However. He couldn't help but recoil at the thought, at this very moment - the fact that he was asking for his blood, to feed someone… _other_ than Zero was coompletely repulsive. It felt so wrong to Kaname. _That_ felt like an slight against Zero, and for some reason, Kaname found he was even angrier at the idea of Zero being insulted.

_His blood was Zero's, and Zero's alone._

"I can't do that," he told Takuma. "It wouldn't work anyway," he added quickly. Knowing that Takuma was going to do what his grandfather had many times before made Kaname's anger grow.

He was going to demand Kaname's blood.

Takuma's jaw tightened.

"How do you know?"

The blonde's eyes were also filled with rage as he circled Kaname's desk to get closer to him, so he could tower over him and try to make Kaname **see** how angry he had become.

"Shiki's suffering, you know?" Takuma cried, "And you don't even want to _try_ to help him! He's your cousin- your family! Don't you feel at all obligated to-"

"He's my family?" Kaname sneered, "Well _Rido_ is my family too, and I'm not leaping to help _him_. Oh, and you know what? Rido is Shiki's _father-_"

"What are you trying to say? You know Shiki is nothing like Rido!"

Kaname knew that. Of course he loved Shiki, his cousin, too, and immediately felt a rush of shame fill him at what he had said. He had compared Shiki to Rido, just like he had during the last War. And Takuma was defending Shiki, just like he had back then. Takuma was right. Shiki was good, unlike his father. _What was Kaname saying…_?

"I'm sorry Takuma, I'm sorry, I just…" _losing it. I'm so tired. I'm weary, and angry. I lost control._

Takuma's anger melted, and he smiled at Kaname, rather tightly but with the warmth he always reserved for his best friend. "It's alright Kaname. It was rather rude of me to ask something of you like this, when you're already busy with other things…"

"No," _I always have time for you, my friend, "_You're right. It's worth a try. Let's go to the Infirmary. We can ask Dr Minami to take my blood again. He already hates doing it for the blood bags…"

Kaname stood and looped an arm around Takuma's shoulders. He was glad that Takuma understood him and forgave him so easily. A friend like Takuma was priceless-

But then he froze.

Takuma's chatter also stopped when Kaname began to sniff him insistently, particularly around his mouth.

"Kaname? What are you do-"

Takuma was suddenly faced again with a furious Kaname.

But this time Kaname actually shoved Takuma so his back was pressed against the wall and Kaname was hovering over him with fire in his eyes.

"What the _hell_ Kan-"

"Why do I smell Shiki's blood on your breath?"

Takuma's jaw fell again, snapping shut and opening, he was at a loss for words, looking like a drowned goldfish with the way his mouth struggled for words to say. How could he explain this to Kaname? It was customary for the Head of a clan or a family to be made aware of a member of said clan or family who was planning to Bond with someone _**before**_ they had Bonded.

Takuma was already partially Bonded to Shiki.

_Shit._

"Answer me," Kaname's eyes were beginning to darken to black. Takuma had never seen him ever so terrifying angry up close, he'd never made Kaname this angry before!

"I- I… I had to do it, Kaname. He would've died-"

"Tell me, _Takuma!_"

"Shiki's mother is _dead_ Kaname. Rido killed her. And she had forged a Bond with Shiki before, Biting him. He was going to die, I had to," Takuma choked, "_I had to_."

He watched vigilantly at Kaname's face as he ran over what he had said.

Takuma slumped with relief as the ruby colour began to return to his eyes and Kaname pulled Takuma in a crushing hug.

This was crazy. This was absolutely crazy. He had come into Kaname's room, not prepared for such a rollercoaster ride of emotions to completely knock him around like this! He clung to Kaname's back, grateful that his friend was not angry with him for practically _forcing marriage _onto his cousin. How could he have accused Kaname of not caring about Shiki when it was so obvious that he did? The thought made Takuma's stomach clench in anxiety (the commitment no teenager wanted to face) and flutter with some other warm, unidentified emotions… He was _so_ glad Kaname didn't want to kill him for that. _He _would've killed himself if he was in Kaname's position…

"You saved him," Kaname said, "Thank you."

"No problem," Takuma wheezed, patting his back.

Kaname slung his arm over his shoulder and began dragging Takuma to the Infirmary, the two of them desperately clinging to each other as they scrabbled around for something peaceful and cheerful to say between them. Kaname glanced at Takuma from the corner of his eye, taking in his tired face and messy hair atop it (from the frantic hair-pulling and combing Takuma tended to do when stressed. How stressed was he?), and the tightness in his jaw, even as he spoke. He was afraid of Kaname. Only a little bit afraid, but Kaname saw that the last portion of their conversation, where he had completely snapped, clearly had shaken Takuma. _Even Takuma, who knew him so well was scared of him_…

His heart panged. He relied, he _depended_ on Takuma's friendship, throughout most of his life. Takuma was his rock. He was the one who never feared Kaname, was never afraid to tell him the truth or what Kaname's flaws were (always diplomatically, so Kaname barely even knew they were _insults_, the sneaky thing…). He couldn't bear the thought that Takuma was scared of him, like everyone else.

"I never want to fight with you, my friend," he whispered, smiling when Takuma smiled at him.

But Kaname still found himself partially mad at Takuma though. Even though he was holding him like a brother, and laughing with his jokes. This was their friendship that he wanted to protect. He didn't feel it was the right time to bring up the fact that _Takuma had disobeyed him_.

By forming a Bond with Shiki, did Takuma have any idea how dangerous that move was? He could be linked to Rido, through Shiki. Kaname wasn't sure how possession of a body worked, or how far Rido could reach the outside world through Shiki, but Takuma had put himself in danger. What if Rido could control him to? Who could Kaname depend on then? There were now two people that were potential traitors in his Castle. And now one of them was Takuma.

* * *

><p>Rima felt quite accomplished. Kaname would be much more pleased with the <em>five-hundred<em> vampires they had rounded up on the recruitment list. There had been so many vampires that she and Seiren had run out of pages to write them all down in. They had to organise the last two hundred by their families or clans, since whole families of brothers, sisters, fathers and some mothers had come to join. It worried her that in some cases the whole family had decided to volunteer. It was almost guaranteed that one of their family members would be lost in battle. Every family would grieve.

But there was no way around it. This was war.

She and Seiren were leading the recruits to the Hanadagi grounds now. She rolled her eyes at the small scorch marks on the path _very clearly_ taken by Aidou and Kain, which they were now following. There were even small bundles of melting snow here and there. The boys had been bickering again, it showed. She could see it in her mind.

_Boys_.

Rima reached the edge of the forest, amazed by the complete change in scenery, the clear flat land of the Hanadagi ground were distinct from the Kuran forest. And in the centre of her vision, she saw the tall, grey-walled Hanadagi castle. It cast a heavy black shadow towards the right side of the land, ghostly grey fingers creeping up the landscape- shadows from the castle's thin tall towers.

Rima could sense the border a few yards in front of her. A fizzy wall that made the tip of her nose prickle.

She surveyed the area. It was empty.

There was this _emptiness_.

The Hanadagi's were asleep.

She wondered where Aidou and Kain were. Perhaps they had already gone inside. Kaname had said that they were to use the grounds if no one came. If the guard came, they should say they came under his name, and were to give him the blood scroll if he was still suspicious.

"They must have already gone inside," she told Seiren, glancing back at the silent girl. The recruits were tired. She was tired. "Come on," she called, moving towards the border.

Seiren caught her arm.

"Seiren-san?"

She followed Seiren's extended finger, which was pointing into the grass.

Rima gasped.

The floor was spattered with blood.

She quickly crouched down, touching the bloody grass. Seiren crouched beside her, placing her small hand in the patch of crushed grass.

"One body here," she said quietly, "It's smaller than that one," she said pointing over at another area of crushed grass. Rima peered over at the other patch, and decided not to go over there. The grass was darker there, with more blood. "Aidou-san was here, Kain-san over there," Seiren whispered.

Rima bit her lip, "Why is there blood? What happ-"

Her trembling fingers brushed against something, something in the grass…

She plucked it from the sticky blood.

It was the blood scroll.

* * *

><p>He groaned loudly, rotating his shoulder the furthest it could move. It popped. He shuddered and then moaned happily as his neck also gave a satisfying crack when he moved it. Kain blearily opened his eyes.<p>

"That's disgusting…"

Kain lifted his head. That was Aidou's voice. Suddenly he remembered what had happened and turned his head to try to see his surroundings.

The room was black, or dark, or he _couldn't see anything_. He twisted to where he thought he had heard Aidou, wincing as his neck cracked again.

"Hana?"

"That's _disgusting_, Kat," Aidou's voice whined. Kain blinked, hoping his eyes were adjusting. He couldn't see him, but at least he could hear that they were in the same room.

"It feels good," he grunted, straining against the bonds tying his limbs. All of his limbs were secured, but he could feel he was upright, not lying on a bed. He wasn't tied up on a wall either. He was just… hanging, by his wrists, with his feet also spread apart and bound.

"If it doesn't sound healthy, it can't be healthy."

Kain snorted, wriggling and tugging at his wrists.

"Where are you?" he called. "I can't see anything."

"Same here, and dunno," he could hear Aidou also shaking his chains, "I'm tied up in something. I think there's something in front of my face. I can hear my voice echoing back at me when I yell."

Kain tilted his head forwards, yelling out. Aidou was right. And by the sounds of it, the thing was a wall, or something flat.

"Ugh, my arms are _numb_."

Kain twisted his wrists. The binds were cutting into his wrists. They were far too tight. He wondered if he could melt them. They felt like metal, but he didn't know-

He flicked his fingers, calling fire into his hand.

There was no fire, but he heard Aidou yelp.

"What? What happened?"

"Ugh, I dunno," Aidou groaned. "I just got spooked, it's nothing."

Kain sighed, and tried to call on his fire again, but before he could do so, there was a sudden gust of wind.

Cold wind.

Goosebumps erupted on his skin, and Kain found his head swivelling back to his front, he strained against his bonds. Something was happening. Someone was there.

Someone was there.

_It's so cold…_

He gasped as a cold hand touched his face.

"You're the one… that uses fire, aren't you?"


	33. Homeostasis

**Author's note:**

**oh god. i almost cried writing this chapter. please forgive me for being so cruel to them. **

**btw, dont read too much into Rido's behaviour. he's a sick fuck, and he's crazy. he's a sociopath/psychopath thing. there's nothing personal about his behaviour, so dont go off thinking he's in _lurve_ or anything...**

**...it doesnt sound right if i say "enjoy" for this chapter, does it?**

* * *

><p>"Rido-sama…"<p>

The cold fingers pinched Kain's cheek. He caught his fang on his inner cheek and tasted blood in his mouth. He winced as the fingers tightened more.

"Kain-kun, what are you doing here in Hanadagi-kun's house?"

Kain felt Rido press his palm against his face, dragging it down. His hands were so cold.

"I… I…"

"That's your cousin over there, hmm? Aidou…Hanabusa. Ah, that's Aidou's son then. How cute," Rido yanked his face over to the right, "Have you said hello to him? Say hello,"

"H-Hello,"

"Hello Hanabusa,"

"Hello H-Hanabusa,"

His face was released. Kain blinked, wondering where Rido was in the inky blackness.

"Akatsuki?" Aidou's voice.

Kain felt the coldness leave him. Rido was moving away.

"Yes?" he called.

"Where are you?"

There was a loud crash, the clanging sound of metal. He heard a lock being opened.

"What?" he replied, desperately trying to hear for Rido's footsteps. Where was he going?

"W-Where are you?"

He tried to light a flame again. Aidou yelped again.

"Ah! That hurts!"

"_Hold still_,"

"Akatsuki, is that you?"

"No, I'm over here," he called. He heard something that sounded liked cloth ripping.

"_Come now, be quiet-"_

"Stop it! Stop, please-"

Kain's neck was straining as he tried to peer through the darkness. What was Rido doing? Was he hurting Aidou? Kain yanked on his wrists.

"What's happening?"

"_Just a little more. Good boy, good-"_

"No, please-"

Suddenly there was a dim light.

Kain finally saw what was happening.

Aidou was tied up with his arms and legs pulled apart, like the vitruvian man, each limb hanging from chain cuffs attached to the corners of the large cage he was in. He saw he was in a similar state, in a cage directly facing across from Aidou.

Rido was in Aidou's cage. It was the first time Kain had seen Rido up close.

The Pureblood had changed out of the rags he had been wearing at the Coronation. He wore a dark blue robe which emphasised his pale skin. Kain was amazed by how much he resembled Kaname.

Rido was stood beside Aidou, a wicked grin on his face.

He couldn't see what Rido had done, but Aidou's face was red and he was biting his lips.

There was a candle lit on the table, the source of light.

"You two don't look at all alike," Rido mused. Kain's jaw clenched as he saw Rido stroke back a few tendrils of Aidou's hair.

"What do you want from us?"

"Oh, nothing," Rido drawled, resting his hand on Aidou's neck, "We're just passing the time. Getting to know each other,"

The way he spoke sent shivers up Kain's spine. His nonchalance was the most disturbing thing, though, that Kain found about him. He was also afraid of Rido's eyes. He had heard many times that one was red and one was blue. Right now Rido was just staring at Aidou, his expression sharp with interest.

Kain felt his numb hands form fists. Rido was stroking Aidou's face.

"You're a pretty one," he remarked softly.

"Why are we…passing time?" Kain asked. That caught Rido's attention. The Pureblood grinned at Kain.

"We're waiting for Kaname, of course,"

Kaname was coming? Kain inwardly slapped himself. Of course Kaname was coming. He would definitely come as soon as he heard they had been captured.

This was all a trap. They were the bait.

Kain cursed.

"While we wait, I thought we could play a game,"

Rido curled his hand in Aidou's hair, ignoring Aidou's whimper as he leaned close to him.

Kain bit his lip. He hated the expression on Aidou's face- his eyes were teary and his face was still red. He was trembling. Kain had to get Rido away from him. He knew how frightened Aidou was of Rido.

"I would like to play a game," he said loudly.

Rido raised an eyebrow, his hand still playing with Aidou's hair. He leaned his head on Aidou's shoulder. "Oh?"

"Yeah," Kain insisted. He wondered why no one had ever told him Rido was _insane_. How was he supposed to act in a situation like this, "I'm bored. I'd like to play a game,"

Rido licked Aidou's neck. Aidou sobbed.

"I'd _really_ like to play a game! Any game you want!" Kain yelled, his eyes trained on Rido, urging the Pureblood to look at him. _Look at me. Focus on me. Leave him alone…_ "Please!"

Rido laughed and kissed Aidou's neck, "He's cute,"

"Please," Kain begged, "I'll play a game with you,"

"Oh, I want _both _of you to play," Rido said, kissing Aidou again, he casually strolled out of his cage and relocked the cage door. "But I'll have to stand here to play,"

Kain kept his eyes on Rido, every part of him was focused on Rido. He could hear Aidou crying in the background, but he knew he should not let Rido out of sight. The candle flickered. Rido laughed again, a chilling sound.

Rido wandered over to Kain, the coldness that seemed to follow him seeped into Kain's vicinity and he sucked in a breath as Rido leaned against his cage bars.

"How do you feel?" Rido whispered, fingers curling around the bars.

The temperature was dropping further, goose bumps reappearing. Kain saw his breath turn misty. The feeling of cold was at first, welcoming- reminiscent of Aidou's ice. It comforted him a little.

Then it got colder.

"Cold," he choked.

The metal around his wrists were constricting in the cold, biting harder.

"Cold?"

"Hmm," he grunted, puffing smoke.

"Well shouldn't you warm up then? You can control fire, can't you?" Rido cooed, pushing off from the bars.

Kain nodded. He could control fire. But his fire hadn't worked before. Was he drugged? Was Rido suppressing his powers somehow?

He hated the cold when the cold wasn't Aidou. It felt sickening. It was Rido.

He wanted to feel warmth again.

Kain reached for the heat inside him, his instincts allowing him to grasp the warmth and amplify it, drawing it out of his body.

He thought: **fire**_**. **_

Aidou screamed.

* * *

><p>The blood scroll left a bloody print on the desk. It rolled open. Two words were on it: "Fuyu Pass", and Kaname's signature.<p>

Kaname was on his feet before the scroll could roll any further.

"Kaname!"

"We have to go," he said firmly, turning to Takuma. He handed him the small vial of blood they had extracted minutes ago. It was still warm.

"But Kaname, there's something wrong with this-"

"I don't care. This is the proof. We know they've been taken now. We know Hanadagi is on Rido's side. It's time to go," Kaname turned to Seiren, "Rima and the recruits?"

"They're at the border. They told me they are waiting for you,"

"See? We have to go," Kaname snapped, tugging Takuma onto his feet. Seiren was already packing things into a bag for Kaname.

"It's a trap. It's so obviously a trap-" Takuma protested.

"So? Do you care? I don't care. I want them back,"

"So do I, Kaname, you know that-"

"I don't think you do. I think your mind is stuck on Shiki," Kaname squeezed his arm, "Shiki is alright. He's safe here at the castle. But we need to get those two back. If you want to stay, you can stay,"

"I have to," Takuma said, shifting from one foot to the other, "He needs me,"

Kaname gave a curt nod, going to grab some items from his wardrobe- anti-vampire weapons. He bundled them up and tossed them into the bag Seiren was packing.

"Do you have any idea what happened?"

"No, Kaname-sama," Seiren replied, rolling up a med-kit, "As I told you, there was blood on the grass and signs of a struggle. Otherwise, we don't know what happened,"

But Kain and Aidou were nowhere in sight. That was enough to tell Kaname that they were in trouble.

Seiren slung the bag around her shoulders. The door opened.

"I saw Seiren fly in here, what's going on…?"

Ruka's eyes flitted from Kaname, to Takuma, to Seiren and the bag. She frowned.

"Kain and Aidou are in trouble. You can come with us," Kaname said, quickly taking her hands just as her legs began to quake.

"What happened?"

Horrific images of Kain and Aidou broken, hurt, _dying_ flitted across Ruka's mind. She shook Kaname's hands off, her eyes filling with tears. _Tell me!_

"We'll tell you on the way. Come on, we have little time-"

"Kaname!"

Takuma was holding the blood scroll. He'd unravelled it all the way. Kaname snatched it from him, seeing nothing but the normal writing on the front. The "Fuyu Pass" details and his signature. With a glance at Takuma, motioning for him to turn it over, he found a message messily written in blood.

**Bring the Hunter.**

* * *

><p>The flames licked at Aidou's toes, but even as he tried to draw his legs up, the chains held them there. He shrieked as the fire blistered his feet.<p>

"_Hanabusa!_"

_What was happening?_ Kain shook at his chains, not believing his eyes as he saw the flames erupting from the bars of the cage. The room lit with the flames, casting eerie shadows which danced around the walls. _What was going on?_

Rido roared with laughter, applauding. Kain was confused. It didn't make sense. He stretched his fingers towards Aidou.

"Ice, Hana, _ice!"_ he yelled, _Make it cold again. Stop it. Ice it._ He growled, turning on Rido, "What are you doing? What- What-"

Suddenly the bars of his cage began to frost. Kain gasped as the metal holding his wrists became cold and constricted like before, the shackles on his feet also squeezing his ankles. He saw mist pouring out of his mouth with every time he panted. The air was freezing.

_What the fuck?_

Kain's body began shaking violently, his muscles fighting against the cold. His teeth chattered at the icy temperature. Nothing made sense!

"W-What are you doing?"

Rido was still laughing, but soon the sound subsided and his expression was of rapt interest. Cold and analytical, like a scientist watching his experiment succeed- there was a glint of pride in his eyes. Kain grunted as the cold began to make the air difficult to breathe in. Was Rido doing this? No. There was something about the coldness that was achingly familiar.

The Pureblood smiled, and then began walking towards the door. Kain panicked. He hated Rido being there, but he also needed to know what the _hell was going on_.

"Rido!" he screamed.

Immediately the Pureblood's face was pressed close to his. He had literally walked through the cage bars.

"You're a smart boy, Kain-kun, so you'll know to respect a Pureblood," Rido in a deathly low voice, his smile fixed on his face. He patted Kain's cheek with his icy fingers.

Kain gasped. He couldn't bear coldness like this.

Instinctively he drew on his fire to warm him.

His eyes snapped open in horror when Aidou shrieked louder and the fire rose higher. Now he could begin to smell the burning of flesh. Kain screamed desperately, leaning forwards as much as he could. Aidou was writhing, trying to curl up and dodge the flames, but it was impossible with is limbs bound like that.

All of a sudden, ice erupted from the bars of his cage, and around the shackles on his feet. The freezing temperatures burned. Kain yelled as his fingers were encased in ice.

He tried to melt them, and then Aidou screamed louder. It was madness.

He glanced up at where Aidou was, the fire was obscuring his view, but he could see the dark outline of Aidou's fingers wriggling madly through a plume of smoke.

There was a link. There was something happening between-

"You've got to cool yourself down, Hana!" Kain yelled hoarsely. His throat was so dry. The air was so dry-

Then the ice around his fingers grew bigger. Kain glared up at them. There was- It was… he struggled to make sense of it, but something _was_ happening between him and Aidou. Whenever Aidou… when Aidou… Kain growled. It was so hard to focus. The painful biting sensation around his fingers and toes frightened him. The thought of frostbite frightened him. He just couldn't concentrate.

"Do you get it?" Rido leered, Kain leaned back as Rido leaned forwards, pressing his face up towards him. "You get it now, don't you? When you want fire, you get ice,"

_Of course_. Kain didn't know how Rido was doing it, but when he called on his fire, Aidou got burnt. Similarly, when Aidou called on his ice, he was getting frozen.

"This game is fun," Rido told him, "You see, it's all about teamwork. You give some, he gets some. He gives some, you get some. It all makes sense now, no?" he laughed, kissing Kain on the cheek.

"You're gonna die here, Kain-kun,"

Aidou was sobbing. Kain groaned, feeling Rido lick his jaw.

"I wonder which happens first, burning to death or freezing to death?"

He felt tears tracking down his face, and Rido licked them off.

"It's sounding like burning works fastest, doesn't it? Hmm? Can you hear that?"

Kain blearily opened his eyes again. Even through his tears he could see the blurry image of Rido's face. His eyes. One blue and one red.

"Silence. I think your friend's fallen asleep…"

_Hana-chan_…


	34. Breaking Free

"_Hell no_,"

Takuma blinked. It was the first time he had ever heard Kaname speak that way. _Hell no_. He would have laughed had it been any other situation.

As it was, they were all discussing the message **Bring the Hunter**.

Ruka had gone for the door as soon as it had been read out, already going for Zero. He understood her completely. Her two best friends were in danger, and she didn't like Zero at all. The sacrifice was minimal on her part.

But for Kaname…

He had pinned her to the floor before her foot even left it, growling as she tried to pry him off. He had slapped her across the cheek, letting her up after a few moments, but letting her know that if she dared go to the door, he would catch her first.

Ruka had screamed at Kaname.

_Ruka had screamed at Kaname._

Takuma was still awestruck at her change in personality. She had snapped. Totally yelling at Kaname that "_Don't you understand? If we give him to them, Aidou and Kain will be alright. It's one life for two, Kaname!"_

Kaname had slapped her, hard enough so she crumpled onto the ground.

"Kaname be reasonable," he'd piped up, as always- it was an automatic response whenever Kaname slapped someone. But this time Takuma's voice had been almost hysterical.

Kaname's hand print was so visible on Ruka's pale cheek, and she was bawling into the carpet, trying to pull herself back onto her feet. Kaname was watching her like a hawk, poised to hit her again. Takuma's eyes went from one to another rapidly, not knowing which one to watch. It looked like Kaname would strike her back to the ground the moment she stood.

"Kaname, you need to get a hold of yourself," Takuma said, forcing his voice to be firm yet agreeable. He moved to stand between Kaname and Ruka, trembling himself at the dark anger in Kaname's eyes.

He watched his friend's shoulders relax, quickly, like he'd forced them to hang by his sides, but it was an improvement. Kaname raised his head from his hunched posture and nodded to Takuma. He had calmed down- at least on the outside. Takuma knew it wasn't safe to trust Kaname yet, so he stood firm in front of Ruka.

"Ruka-chan, you have to understand that we cannot just hand Zero-kun over like that," he said calmly. He dared not look over his shoulder at Ruka, keeping his eyes on Kaname at all times.

"Yes we can!" she cried, Kaname's eyes narrowed but she couldn't see that. Takuma held up a placating hand, biting his lip. "We have to! If they're being held hostage, that means they want a trade!"

The room fell silent, but it was hardly an easy silence. Kaname was glowering at Ruka _through_ Takuma, Ruka was pulling herself onto her feet still, Takuma was suffering in silence.

"You could fake it with a decoy-"

"Rido isn't fucking _stupid_," Kaname snapped, "He'll know it isn't him,"

"Kaname, maybe you have to do it," Takuma suggested, "There isn't a way around it. If Rido wants him, he won't take anyone else-"

"You're asking me to hand him over?"

Kaname began striding over to Takuma, his powerful aura already felt like it had slapped Takuma in the face, but it was the petrifying fury in his eyes that had Takuma rooted to the spot.

"Just like _her_, you want me to give him up as a sacrifice?"

"I just think-"

"_Hell no,"_

And then the door slammed open.

* * *

><p>"Hana, are you there?" he wept. His voice was not much louder than a whisper anymore, and it cracked and rasped.<p>

The room was silent, apart from the residual flames humming as they licked at the metal of the cage. He couldn't hear Aidou's sobbing. He couldn't hear him at all. For once, Kain would've given anything to hear his chatterbox cousin speak, but all there was was silence, and the sickening smell of burning flesh.

"Hana, are you there?" his voice broke.

He'd been saying the same thing, over and over for as long as he could remember. Rido had already left the room. It broke his heart to hear the silence.

"Say something," he whispered.

Nothing.

Kain felt his tears slime down his face, freezing someway between his nose and chin. There was now a beard of the frozen droplets all around his face. With every time he blinked, he felt his eyelashes sticking together. He wondered when the cold would get to them. Freeze them together and make him blind. At least then he wouldn't have to be left staring at Aidou's body. All he could see of him was a silhouette, the fire's soot had painted him black.

How the hell had Rido managed to rig this weird torture device? It was sick. He felt sick knowing it was _himself_ who had burnt Aidou. Every time he had tried to save himself, fighting against Aidou's ice, he had unknowingly burnt him.

Kain remembered the games he and Aidou used to play, where Aidou would place a ball of ice in his hand and he would make it steam.

"Please," he begged, "Say something,"

_THUD_.

Kain jumped, snapping his head back and scanning the room wildly. Was Rido back? Was-

His eyes fell on Aidou. There was something different about his silhouette.

One of his arms wasn't tied up. It was hanging by his side.

He squinted. Aidou had managed to get free…?

_THUD._

His other arm had fallen, and with nothing holding him up, he fell forwards too.

"Hana…!"

Kain strained his neck trying to see what happened to Aidou. As far as he could see, he was slumped on the floor, and his body looked odd. _His ankles were still chained!_ That was why his legs were still spread apart. But his arms, his body were free! Kain opened his mouth to tell Aidou to get working on his ankles, but then he snapped it shut. Was Aidou even alive?

The way he had fallen… it didn't look like he had worked himself out.

It struck Kain- the chains had melted.

The fire had melted them. They had burned for so long…

Kain let his head hang forwards watching his tears fall straight from his eyes, travelling down, down into the darkness. The candle was now only half a stick tall.

"Hana, are you there?"

Had Kain been looking, he would've seen the shadows change as Aidou's body began to move.

* * *

><p>Zero glared at the four of them, starting with Takuma, but that was just because he was the closest one to him in the room. He glowered longest and hardest at Kaname though, as he strode into the room, kicking the door shut behind him.<p>

"What the _fuck_, Kaname?"

To Takuma's surprise, Kaname actually managed to look somewhat sheepish when he met Zero's glower. Zero marched across the room to stand directly in front of him, and _slapped him_.

Even _he_ gasped at this, though he quickly found himself tackling Ruka to the ground before she could pounce on Zero.

"You fucking _coward_," Zero snarled. "I almost can't stand _looking_ at you!"

"Zero-"

"No, you _listen to me, _bastard! I've heard it all. You're friends are in trouble, and you're gonna let them stay like that? You're not gonna help?"

"I never said that," Kaname growled, "We're going to go save them, of course we are! I'm just not taking you-"

"He wants me!" Zero yelled, shoving Kaname in the chest, "Just let him have me! That's what he wants, isn't it? For your friends,"

"But I can't-"

"Oh fuck it, Kaname, I really thought you were loyal,"

Takuma struggled to glance over his shoulder at what was happening. Ruka was being really persistent…

"I really thought you _cared_ about your friends-"

"Don't you dare say that! I do, of course I do-"

"You're letting them suffer for me-"

"You're my friend too!"

"Oh _please,"_ Zero laughed bitterly, "For, what, a week? We've been friends for a week, Kaname. They have been your friends since you were vampire-lings or whatever. You owe _them_ your loyalty _far more_ than you owe _me,"_

Takuma could hear Kaname's heavy breathing and winced. He was really, _really _gonna lose it soon. He hoped Zero knew how much Kaname was going to explode, at any second now-

"That's not true," Kaname said quietly. Softly.

Takuma squirmed around, keeping hold of Ruka as he watched in disbelief- Kaname's soft expression, the edge of his lips turned down- disappointment. And Zero was stood there, his face shocked, in just as much disbelief as Takuma's.

"Well… Well, I'm still going," Zero muttered, eyes flashing, "You can't stop me. It's the right thing to do,"

"It's the _only_ thing to do," Ruka called from under Takuma.

Again, the room fell into silence. This time everyone was looking for Kaname's decision, even Zero who had said so clearly "_You can't stop me"_ was watching to see if he _would_.

Then Kaname let out a deep breath and then laughed humourlessly, "I can't stop you, can I?"

Zero smiled, and Takuma saw the way his eyes shone in appreciation that Kaname hadn't gone to throw his weight around again, ordering him against his will.

He reached out and grabbed Zero, dragging him close enough so he could see the seriousness in his eyes.

"But you _will_ stay near me,"

Zero nodded, suddenly shooting Kaname a grin.

"If you're so worried about me dying for your life, Kaname, I can promise you I'll be fine," he said, though Kaname did not smile.

"No one will die in this," Kaname said, abruptly letting Zero go, "Come on then. Let's go,"

* * *

><p>There was a cough. And it was the most incredible sound Kain had ever heard in his life.<p>

"Hana?" he yelled, though it still came out like a pathetic rasping noise. He tried swallowing some saliva again, to wet his throat.

There was a shuffling noise, and then a groan, and finally a whine.

Kain could have cried of happiness, if his face wasn't already frozen from his tears.

There was another cough, and he saw Aidou's form moving. _He was moving_. He was alive!

"..sh…shit…it r-really hurts…"

"Hana, what happened? Are you okay?"

Aidou coughed again, it was probably the smoke from before. Kain grinned as he saw Aidou' blonde head lift up, and his electric blue eyes blink at him slowly.

"…f-feel like shit…"

"Thank god you're alive, idiot," Kain laughed, wincing at his throat, "I thought I'd fried you,"

He quickly explained to Aidou about the weird contraption they were in, and how he had fainted (Aidou had huffed at this), and that Rido was gone.

Aidou began fiddling with his feet then. He cried out suddenly. Kain's heart leapt to his throat again.

"Fucking blisters!" Aidou whined. Kain sighed in relief. The fire had burnt Aidou's feet first. They must already be blistering.

"Sorry,"

Aidou glanced up. He suddenly didn't find it so funny, letting Kain feel guilty when he was hurt anymore. This definitely hadn't been Kain's fault, no matter how much Kain thought it was. _Technically_ it had been Kain's fire that burnt him, but he couldn't see it that way.

Rido, that sick fuck.

"Don't blame you- yourself…"

Kain beamed at him, in the dim light. Strangely enough, it made Aidou feel much better, even though his body hurt everywhere and he was finding it more difficult to breathe. He winced at the pain in his feet the most though. The blisters were _huge_ and disgusting. If they somehow managed to get out of there, he wondered how exactly he would be able to _walk_.

Aidou wished he could put some ice on them, but now he knew what his powers did to Kain, he couldn't get himself to do it. It didn't feel right. For all he knew, Kain had frostbite in his fingers and toes. He knew Kain often freaked out when he was playing in the snow with him during the winters, and they were out for long enough that his fingertips started to feel like they were burning cold. He was terrified of losing his fingers to the cold, just like Aidou was terrified of fireworks because they _shot fire_ everywhere.

But the pain was really bad.

If Kain's feet were already dead, would he even know if Aidou tried to cool his down?

But if felt like a betrayal. It felt like Aidou didn't care about Kain if he went ahead and tried to ice his own feet without asking for his permission.

"Kat… my feet hurt really bad,"

"I'm sorry-"

"No. No, I'm not asking for an apology. I was wondering… because of what you've said. When we use our powers… I really want to ice my feet. It hurts so bad…"

Kain nodded with no hesitation, "You should do it then,"

Didn't he care about himself? Aidou blanched, but then his eyes fell to Kain's feet, already encased in ice. He bit his lip. He wouldn't feel it anyway, if Aidou didn't manage to ice his feet and the ice went to Kain's .

Aidou placed his hands on his feet.

His cold hands.

He gasped. His fingers were glowing blue, and frost was at their tips. He groaned as they touched his feet.

"Oh my god," Aidou groaned, holding each foot with his hands. "It worked Kat…"

Kain's head snapped up. "No way! How did you do that? You have your powers again,"

"I don't know, but it sure feels gooood,"

Kain watched his cousin cooling his feet down. His eyes flitted to the chains. Maybe… Maybe it was the chains that did it. He wriggled against his weakly. Maybe his powers and Aidou's were controlled by them, or something.

Looking down at Aidou, he found him also staring up at the empty melted shackles above him. Their eyes met.

They smiled.

"We have to get them off!"


	35. One Eye Red

**Author's note:**

**Hello everyone, how are you enjoying the story so far? _Long_, isn't it? ^^ (author is stiiiill totally winging it, has no idea how long it will be)**

**I don't know if this is off-putting for anyone, but it's in my opinion, _not close_ to the end. Not by a far shot.**

**Many of you, my dear readers, are so in love with K/Z I have noticed, that you are totally freaking on Takuma and Ruka.**

**As the peacemaking author, I would like to run to their defence.**

**1. Takuma is Bonded to Shiki, and totally smitten.**

**2. Ruka's bestest friends in da whole world are currently in unknown conditions, most likely suffering. Ruka has never liked Zero, bcos he's a stinking Hunter. And now that he's a weakness to Kaname, she wants rid of him, she couldn't care less about his wellbeing, bcos he's causing so much pain to her (as the Japanese say) _precious people_.**

**Kk, that's all I wanted to say. Don't let me sway your opinions! If you really wanna hate them, go on ahead. You are free to read this story any which way you want!**

**I thought the start of this chapter should be slightly more fun and cheery than it's been so far. Break it up a little!**

**Ciao x**

* * *

><p>Zero scowled and quickly smacked off Kaname's hands, shaking his head in a firm no.<p>

Seiren was already sitting on top of Ruka, holding her back from retaliating.

"In your own words, _hell no_," he said, walking off at a brisker pace. They all watched the way Zero favoured his left leg and how his knees flicked forwards with each step, as if they were about to buckle. The fold of his shirt was lifted by a breeze, showing one of those large bruises on his lower back, shaped like it was paint splattered on his skin in deep purple.

Seiren heard Kaname _huff_ under his breath, striding after the stubborn Hunter.

With a delightful squawk emitted from said Hunter, Kaname flipped him up in the air, over his shoulder.

The girls couldn't help but grin at Zero's red face, bobbing on Kaname's shoulder. He was showing them the most simultaneously murderous and mortified face, and even as he struggled, he could not get off Kaname.

"Kaname! Bloody _put me down_!" Zero punched Kaname's shoulder blades, and they could see his feet flailing around madly. "I'll fucking _kill_ you-"

"We've been walking for fifteen minutes now, and we've barely covered three quarters of a mile. Your pace is slowing us down, Zero,"

That shut the Hunter up, though his face got redder. Ruka found herself empathising with Zero's embarrassment. Then she realised she was channelling Aidou's experiences- she was _never_ embarrassed.

Zero stopped kicking. The numbers of bruises blossoming under his skin (in as poetic a way as he could put it) was growing. But luckily enough, when one grew, another disappeared into a pale sickly green-yellow. His body was sore, almost with every movement he made, though he was slowly becoming used to the pain. It was not unlike coping with bloodthirst. He could detach his mind from the pain and carry on with life. He just _looked_ like shit.

And he had to admit, he was slowing them down. But his pride didn't allow him to put himself in a position where he might trip and fall flat on his face- for example, travelling faster than three miles per hour. But Kaname's comment had been like a slap in the face. He felt guilty for letting his pride get ahead of the team. They had to be a team when they met their enemy, and he could already feel Ruka's hate for him growing, because he was being so troublesome.

He hung on Kaname's back like washing on a line. Defeated.

So the girls could not see his face, he buried it in Kaname's shoulder, marvelling at how comfortable it was to rest on. He realised that this was the closest he'd been to Kaname since the last time he'd been thrown on his shoulder, to be carried back to the castle. This time Kaname was carrying him towards danger, because he'd _asked _him to. And Kaname had listened.

It shocked Zero that he sort of…_missed_ this warm, closeness. He wasn't the type of person who enjoyed cuddling very much, which was probably because he wasn't used to hugging many people, even those he was close to. But Zero realised that there was something he missed about this. He hadn't really expected he'd miss feeding from Kaname, being so close that he could smell his woody, rosewater scent….

But Zero also found he was hating the bumpy ride.

Kaname's comfortable shoulder was becoming like a hard saddle to his chin, knocking his teeth with every footstep. And he wasn't even _running_. Zero could bet he would start running at any moment now. His heart raced and nausea spun his stomach at the memory of the _fast run_ back home last time, when he'd clung onto Kaname's shoulder for dear life as he practically flew back to the castle.

"Kana- Kaname," he panted, shifting around for a better way to see his face. He groaned as a bump on the ground knocked Kaname's sharp acromion into a bruise just under his lungs.

"Hmm?"

"It… it h-hurts,"

Immediately Kaname stopped walking and carefully deposited Zero onto the ground again.

He ignored Ruka's groan of protest, studying Zero, checking carefully what could possibly be hurting him.

"Here," Zero ran a hand over his middle, "Your shoulder is digging into it. I can't breathe well like that,"

Kaname nodded seriously. Zero yelped as he was swiftly scooped up again, lying in Kaname's arms like a baby! He bucked himself off him, growling and snarling as Kaname laughed uncontrollably at his kicking. He whacked him around the chest and aimed a kick at his shins, which was dodged nimbly. The fucking nerve!

"You will _not_ carry me like that!"

"Sorry, sorry, I thought it would be most supportive for you-"

"You fucking did _not_! Don't think I'm stupid, Kaname-"

"Ah, of course not, Kiryuu-kun, I merely incorrectly assumed-"

Zero had had enough. He grabbed Kaname by the shoulders and pushed him down, onto his knees. He then walked around to Kaname's back and looped his arms over his shoulders, squatting down so his legs overlapped Kaname's. Piggyback. They were going to _piggyback_ there.

Kaname surprisingly complied without any protest, standing up slowly and taking Zero's thighs in the crooks of his arms. He jostled Zero gently into a more comfortable position and then tilted his head back to speak to him.

"All secure?"

"All aboard, ahoy matey," Zero drawled. He was far too fed up to be embarrassed anymore. Even at the way that Kaname, perhaps unintentionally, checked them all over to make sure he was comfortable and holding on tightly. _Of course_ he was holding on tightly. His fingers were in a death grip on Kaname's shoulders (though he didn't seem to feel at all in pain from them), prepared for being thrown back. Thinking ahead, he wound his legs around Kaname's middle, ignoring the pain that erupted from his heavily bruised thighs.

Kaname looped his arms behind him, across Zero's back.

They shot off, with Zero spitting curses in Kaname's ear.

* * *

><p>"Freeze 'em, come on Hana, snap them-"<p>

"I'm trying! Just let me try and shut up,"

Aidou's brow furrowed as he concentrated on icing his ankle shackles. They were warm when he had touched them. Apparently if he iced them fast enough, they would break from compressing so fast. At least, Kain said they would, and Aidou's genius mind was too tired to try to find any fault in his plan. He just wanted the bloody things _off_. They were rubbing against the blisters in the nastiest way, making Aidou's eyes burn with tears.

He needed to hit the shackles while they were still warm, at a temperature cold enough that they would shatter.

Aidou decided to do something he didn't do often- wing it.

He held the shackles in each shaking hand and _blasted it_.

The metal buckled in a second, cracking in the next. Aidou pried them apart and then pushed himself to his feet as quickly as he could. The blisters made him whimper, but he staggered on the heels of his feet, where there were much less blisters, towards the bars of the cage. This was the next obstacle.

"How do I do this, Kat?" he called, shaking the bars feebly. "They won't let me through,"

Kain gritted his teeth. He was in just as much pain as Aidou by now. He realised that he still _could _feel his fingers, which was a very good thing in one way. But he could feel the _pain_ of the coldness encasing his fingers and toes. He could feel his fire, the fire that Rido's contraption clearly hadn't managed to take from him, fighting against the cold. The heat of his body was overpowering, he realised, and he was _overheating_. Slick sweat coated his skin, and made the ice cubes on his limbs slide around.

"I don't know, try freezing them,"

Aidou sent him a withering stare. He held two bars and sent ice down them. Then he kicked it. He ran up to it and kicked it. He punched it. It wouldn't break.

"It needs heat first to make it brittle, then ice,"

"I'm trying, Hana," Kain growled, glaring at the ice on his wrist. He knew he couldn't melt them off. If what he and Aidou thought was right, his powers were being leeched off by the chains and sent to Aidou's cage. The heat wouldn't even touch the ice.

This was torture. This was actual torture. Kain had never been tortured before. Certainly never experienced anything like this. He yelled out in frustration.

"Save your breath, Kat, I think I've solved it,"

He looked up, seeing Aidou sitting in the centre of his cage, hugging his knees tightly. He was curled into a tight ball, as tight as he could manage without coughing. His lungs heaved against his legs, but he forced them to breathe shallower in the tighter space.

"What are you doing?" Kain asked, as Aidou seemed to be practicing his breathing, breathing shallower, and then less frequently with longer gaps between breaths.

"This is going. To have. To be very. Quick, Kat," Aidou huffed, choking a few times where he needed to cough. "I'm going to. Make ice. All around me. You're going to. Make the cage. Burn. As hot as. You can,"

Kain's eyes widened in understanding- if he fired up, Aidou's cell would be the one to burn, but now that Aidou had his powers he could protect himself. It was genius. Aidou was a genius.

"I won't be. Able to. Breathe in the. Ice. So you have. To be. _Fast_."

Kain nodded.

Aidou wasted no time, taking one last gulp of air, his skin erupted in blue frost. Then in seconds, the frost layered up, shiny ice moulding around Aidou like a thicker skin. The ice was growing rapidly, till it was at least ten centimetres thick. It had been ten seconds.

Kain wondered if he should start the fire. Was the ice thick enough?

There was no time to think about it.

He called on his fire, watching the cage set aflame, just like it had before.

* * *

><p>Shiki unwrapped the last of his bandages, fiddling with the crusted blood sticking them together. His skin was smooth and perfect where the wounds had been. Perfectly healed.<p>

He traced the scar under his right eye, the ugly dark red slash that was still deep, like a crack in his face. He couldn't model anymore, not like this. It didn't bother him in the slightest, he wasn't vain. Scars were just scars, after all.

But this one stung when he touched it. Sometimes when he traced it, he felt like it was someone else touching his face. Sometimes he felt like someone was watching him.

That someone was almost definitely Rido. Though Shiki couldn't say for sure that he recognised him in his mind (who could? It's like identifying a fleeting thought hidden in your mind. Rido was an expert at mind control. He barely left a trace), he just…_knew_ he was there, watching him.

"Rido…father, can you see me?"

He stared at the mirror, and the reflection of himself tracing the scar. There was that feeling, he was being watched.

"What are you planning?" he whispered.

Shiki frowned, pinching the split skin together so the scar closed. He could almost pretend it was healed. Like the wounds he'd done to himself.

He could barely remember the night when he'd cut himself up. It was just like at the Coronation. One moment he had been doing something else…reading, perhaps. The next moment, he was lying in the Infirmary, bandaged up like a mummy with Takuma's green eyes swimming with tears above him.

"What did you make me do?"

He also found himself wondering what had happened to make Ruka leave so quickly, that time she came to visit him. She'd come and left. No words.

Shiki pressed a hand to the glass, blocking the right side of his face. This way only the good side of his face showed. He closed his eyes. He wasn't vain. He just hated the ugly scar.

"_I am your scar,"_

He bit his nail, chewing on it. There was no Rima to tell him not to.

Right now it was only him, Yuuki and Takuma in the castle. The others had left to… to… he didn't really know where they had gone. But even Zero had left.

He'd never thought he'd be a prisoner of a castle. It was a very beautiful castle, but he was confined to it, and to his room. Takuma had refused to shut him back in the cellar, saying that as long as he stayed in his room, he'd be fine. But a part of Shiki wanted to go back in the cell. He felt safe there, or at least, he felt like the others were safe from him if he was down there.

There wasn't even a lock on his door, stopping him from getting out.

He was free.

And the blackouts didn't reassure Shiki at all. When would the next one come? What would happen? What would he do?

He cringed, opening his eyes again.

And then he shouted.

His right eye was red.

With his wild auburn hair, his pointed jaw and red eye… Shiki took his hand off the mirror. His other eye was still blue, but it burned coldly. He took a step back, shuddering as his reflection remained staring at him. One red and one blue…

The figure in the mirror, its face was stretching, and hair was lengthening and curling into the auburn mess of…

Kuran Rido.

"N-No!"

Rido smiled back at him.


	36. One Eye Blue

**Author's note:**

**Okay, tell me what you think the pace for my story is. Too fast? Too slow? Rushed? Boring?**

**Btw, I will dedicate the next chapter to the person who identifies what the new catchphrase is becoming. It's really short, but **_**everyone's**_** using it. I'll stop using it after a while, so don't worry about it becoming reaaaally annoying. It'll fade out like all catchphrases, **_**dattebayo**_**~!**

* * *

><p>Takuma flicked the syringe lightly, his nails clanging against the glass. He made sure all the bubbles were at the surface and squeezed the air out of it carefully, dabbing up the dribbles that escaped. Then he placed it on the tray.<p>

Technically, Dr Minami should be the one carrying out this injection, but Takuma knew it was best to keep things like this quiet. He and Kaname had always kept it quiet when he had been shot some of Kaname's blood. That suggested secrecy was best.

Also, Dr Minami was a pain in the neck when it came to dealing with _precious __**Pure blood**_.

He pushed Shiki's door open, peering in, expecting to see him on the bed.

But Shiki wasn't on the bed. He was standing in front of the full-length mirror, one finger on his scar, the other stretched out towards the mirror.

"Sen?"

Shiki whirled around. For a second Takuma thought there was something wrong with his face. It must have been a trick of the light though, because Shiki's face was in its usual stoic expression by the time he was standing in front of him.

"Look Sen. I think this might be a cure, _maybe_, I'm not at all sure it will work, but-"

"Should I sit down?"

"Um, yes, that would be good,"

They both sat down on the bed, Takuma set the tray on his knees. He pulled up Shiki's sleeves, smiling at the healed wounds. He ripped open an antiseptic wipe, swabbing a small patch of arm.

"What is it, then?"

"Kaname's blood, I've read that Pure blood-"

"It won't work, Takuma," Shiki gently pushed the needle away.

Takuma took hold of his arm, "Yes it will,"

"It won't. Don't you remember when we were brought here all beaten up, just before the Coronation? I felt his blood in me then. It healed everything, except the scar,"

It was true. Takuma had forgotten that they had all questioned why of all the wounds Shiki had sustained, it was the scar that remained. Even with Kaname's healing blood, it hadn't healed.

If it didn't work then, it wouldn't work now.

Takuma sighed, placing the injection back on the tray. It rolled along into the packs of sterilised wipes and tiny dot band-aids.

"Can't we at least try? Kaname's gonna kill me if he sees I wasted his time like this…" he whined.

"I guess," Shiki shrugged.

Takuma readied the syringe again, and carefully pressed the needle into Shiki's arm, squeezing the blood into him slowly. He daubed the spot with cotton wool and then began to rip open a band-aid, when both their attentions were drawn to the small dot, where the needle had gone into.

A stream of blood was pouring out, steadily, like a river.

Thick, dark blood. Kaname's blood.

"What the…"

Takuma frantically pressed extra cotton wools against it, soaking them pink with the blood that was pouring out.

"Senri! Why-"

The blood trickled to a stop after a few minutes. Then the dot wound closed, fading to the same colour as Shiki's skin.

It was like Shiki had completely rejected Kaname's blood. His body hadn't even taken it in!

Shiki levelled Takuma with a death stare, clearly saying "_I told you so_,"

Takuma sighed. "Okay then. Guess we're back to square one…"

* * *

><p>Kaname waited for the other two to catch up, gently shifting his sleeping cargo so it was hanging more comfortably over his back. He suspected Zero had passed out some time ago, the hypnotic, sleep-inducing effect of the revolving world at the speed Kaname ran at must have knocked him out.<p>

Ruka and Seiren collapsed onto the floor as they reached Kaname. They had been running non-stop at a speed that pushed at Ruka's top speed, as a Noble. She had no idea what status Seiren had, but she also looked like she was exhausted from the run. They had covered the land that Aidou and Kain had walked for one day in only four hours, but now it was nightfall.

It was incredible that Kaname was still carrying Zero, standing tall and strong with barely a layer of sweat on his brow. But then again, he was a Pureblood. They found many things easy.

"Kaname-sama, is it wise to attack now?" Seiren asked quietly.

"No, it isn't. You all must rest, and we must make a plan," he replied, falling into a low crouch, where he then carefully rolled Zero onto the ground, catching his head with his hands and cushioning it before it knocked on the hard floor.

"What plan can we make?" Ruka panted, rubbing her aching calves, "We don't know where they are, or who we might face there-"

"We can make some basic guidelines for what we do when we get there tomorrow," Kaname explained, "First of all, we'll have to find Rima and the recruit army. They're near here, just a few hundred metres ahead. Ruka, you'll join with Rima, both of you will be in charge of them. You can provide the support we may need. We don't know how many people we may be fighting against,"

He knew that Ruka would want to be in the main fight, not the support, but she was volatile and they all knew she wasn't the strongest fighter. She was smart though, and bossy, so she could help organise the recruits into units and provide a valuable back-up.

She grudgingly nodded. He also knew that Ruka would follow his orders and not desert them, despite how strongly she wanted to go save her best friends. Ruka had complete faith in Kaname. She knew there were always reasons to his decisions, even though they may seem unreasonable at times.

"Seiren and I will go directly to the Hanadagi castle after that. Seiren, you'll go find Kain and Aidou. Zero will come with me,"

"And what will you be doing?" Ruka asked.

"I will confront Hanadagi about his betrayal. His treason deserves death, even if he is a Pureblood. He has turned his back on the King," Kaname spat, "If he has any good excuses, it will involve Rido holding a knife to his throat. Otherwise, he is dead to me,"

"You were friends?" a heavy voice asked.

They looked down to see Zero stirring awake, rubbing his eyes open. There was a new bruise on his face, near his left temple, curved into the shape of a backwards C.

"Who, with Hanadagi?" Kaname asked, propping Zero up on his knees, "We were acquaintances. He's my neighbour, after all,"

"Pretty fucked up neighbour, huh?"

Kaname chuckled, nodding, "Well, Purebloods are definitely born with pride and a lust for power," he nodded at Zero's frown, "Some more than others. The Hanadagi's are good vampires. They stick to themselves, perhaps more than others, but that's not unusual for a Pureblood family. They like to mind their own business, but they've always been agreeable with us, loaning land to us when we needed it. We do likewise,"

"The Pass?"

"Yes, Fuyu Pass. It's just between those mountains up there," Kaname said, jerking his thumb behind his right shoulder. It was pitch black darkness though, so they couldn't see anything, "There are two mountains. One on Hanadagi's land, one on ours. The pass between it belongs half to both of us, but Hanadagi asked me long ago if he could use it for a few years. The rock there is rich with minerals he wants to mine. I was reluctant to give up our half. Digging it up would ruin a lot of the mountain.

"But his requests dropped when they all went into sleep. I thought it would soften them up if I gave them the Pass, if they were still upset with my rejections, and they would let us use their land again. But clearly," he pulled out the blood scroll, "They disagreed. Either that, or Rido's got them under his control,"

"They've awakened then?" Zero asked.

Kaname nodded, "I believe so. There's something different I sense about the border. It's become stronger, and more hostile. I hope it will let us through, otherwise I will have to break it down,"

Zero was confused- hadn't Kaname said that the Hanadagi's went into hibernation a hundred years ago, or something? Why did he say then that he had been asked for Fuyu Pass a "long time ago" before they went into slumber? That would mean Kaname was over a hundred years old!

Suddenly he had a flashback to the conversation he'd had with Kaname before the plane had lifted off for the Castle.

"…_Purebloods live for an incredibly long time… __Some have even been said to live for millennia…"_

Was Kaname suggesting, that _he_ had lived for that long? Zero couldn't believe it. He barely seemed old, apart from his sometimes stuffy old-fashioned attitude.

Honestly. Here was Kaname thinking he could trade off some land for a favour, like they would've done _ages_ ago, when what Zero would've done was to send a bunch of money (if he had any). Nowadays no one _traded land_.

God. Maybe Kaname _was_ really old.

He certainly acted old, in some of his mannerisms.

"Kaname-sama,"

Seiren for once was looking slightly troubled. She had stepped back from the group, far away from Kaname, and she looked poised to defend herself.

"It has suddenly occurred to me…I apologise for not thinking…"

"_Seiren_,"

"Yuuki-hime! We left her at the castle!"

Kaname gaped at her for a few seconds, and then leapt to his feet. She flinched as he began storming towards her, but didn't dare pull back any further. But Kaname reached her side, and then doubled back, storming back to where he'd started. He was pacing.

"Seiren, I want you to go _straight_ to the castle, as fast as you can," he ordered through gritted teeth.

Seiren bowed, disappearing in a puff of smoke. Zero briefly wondered why she had run along with them all this time instead of transporting like that, but his mind was more on Yuuki. Why was it bad that she was at the castle? Wasn't she safe?

His heart sank as it dawned on him.

Takuma and Shiki were there, alone in the castle with Yuuki.

One of them was cursed by Rido, the other was Bonded to him.

"Oh god…" he whispered, clambering up onto his feet. "Yuuki!"

"She'll be alright," Kaname soothed, "She knows how to fight. Also, I have a feeling that Rido's obsession isn't focused on her anymore,"

"You have a _feeling_?" Zero sneered, "What do you know? We have to go back!"

"_**Hell**_ no," Ruka chimed, moving to block Zero off from the path they had come from. "We're here already. We aren't going back,"

"Ruka is right, Zero," Kaname added, "We've come a long way. You need to sleep, and get your strength back up for tomorrow. Yuuki will be fine. Seiren is fast, you just saw that, and she'll protect Yuuki with her life,"

"What if she doesn't get there fast enough?" Zero demanded.

The other two could not answer him.

* * *

><p>Kain couldn't see Aidou through the flames. They were too high and bright so even he had to look away from them from time to time. He let out a yell of success as the bars glowed red hot, like coals.<p>

Immediately he called back the fire.

He could hear a hissing sound, like when cold water touches the side of a hot pan- fizzing and bubbling. There was steam, lots of steam which he couldn't see through.

"Hana! Hana are you alright?"

Kain coughed as the room filled with humidity, the steam rising and spreading into his cage. As it dispersed, he was able to see him.

The ice skin had melted by half its thickness, as far as he could tell, and Aidou was still curled up in a ball inside it. Kain sighed in relief. All Aidou had to do was break it apart.

Why wasn't he breaking it apart?

Kain waited. Maybe Aidou was too weak. He was already injured. Maybe he had suffocated. He'd had to hold his breath in the ice for…how long had he been firing the cage? Kain couldn't remember counting the seconds. Oh god. _Oh no. Not after all this!_

"Hana!"

The ice cracked. Kain's heart leapt in joy as he saw Aidou bashing against the ice, hammering at it. The ice was smashing easily, obedient to its master as he escaped its hold.

Aidou fell out onto the floor, sucking huge lungfuls of air. He was wet from head to toe, completely soaked, but he burst out laughing too. Kain couldn't stop himself joining him. The sounds of steam hissing just brought him back to their childhood game, and he burst out into peals of giggles.

"It worked! It worked!" Aidou chortled, standing on shaky legs.

Then Kain saw what was on his feet.

It looked like crystal slippers, like from Cinderella, bound around his feet. Aidou followed his gaze and broke out into new laughter. Kain realised he had been laughing because of _them_, these ice shoes he had clearly been making inside the protective shell whilst he'd been blasting fire everywhere.

"What d'you think? They're totally functional, and they're heaven to my blisters," Aidou grinned, walking over to the cage bars carefully. "They're just a- AAH…. Just a bit _slippery_,"

Kain scoffed, watching Aidou reach for two of the glowing hot bars, hands covered in blue frost.

Aidou grabbed them, yelling out in concentration as he sent out everything cold he could through his fingertips, curling them around the bars.

There was the loud sound of cracking, and then the bars shook in his hands. He held them until they were completely encrusted in ice.

Kain met Aidou's uncertain gaze, and nodded, mouthing, "_Do it,"_

Aidou shuffled backwards, and then swung his leg in a half-roundhouse kick (only managing to reach half as high as he should have, to about the same height as his hips). The bars smashed.

"Yes! _YES!"_ Aidou cheered, squeezed through the gap and stumbling over to Kain's cage.

Here came obstacle two.

Aidou wrapped his fingers around two of the bars here, but released them quickly after. The bars needed to be hot and _then_ cold. But Kain's powers didn't work in his cage. How was he going to heat them up then?

"Crap, no way," Aidou groaned, sliding down onto the floor. Just as they were getting somewhere, another problem arose. He banged his head against the cage.

"Oi, oi, don't do that! We need your brain to figure a way out of here,"

He sent Kain a dry look. "There _is _no way out of here. At least, there's no way for you to get out of your cage,"

The fire-master gave one more struggle against his chains, knowing it was useless, but wanting Aidou not to give up. Aidou _never_ gave up. That was one of the reasons he was so annoying. He mercilessly solved puzzles, labouring over the harder ones but never losing his drive, his motivation to succeed. It worried Kain to see Aidou slumped against the cage, head hung in defeat. He wasn't like this. He was never meant to give up.

But he knew that Aidou was exhausted, and injured. So was he. They were both mentally and physically drained, and so even he had to admit, he didn't blame Aidou at all for giving up.

But Aidou was free.

"Hana, you're out. Go. Go find help,"

Aidou's blue eyes peered up at Kain, causing his voice to crack. In all honesty, Kain was terrified of being left alone, especially with the candle mere inches from the bottom and the room getting darker and creepier by the second. He wasn't by any means afraid of the dark, but being left in the dark in a place like this was terrifying, especially with Rido hanging around.

"You're free," he urged him, "You can go,"

"I'm not leaving you, Kat," Aidou protested, "Don't be stupid,"

"I want you to go, it isn't safe here! Rido could come back. Go while it's safe-"

"Hell no, you git. Stop being stupidly selfless. Rido could be anywhere. I could bump into him on the way out," Aidou sighed, "Anyway, I could never leave you,"

Kain attempted a chuckle, "Yeah, you need me too much,"

"Yeah, well so do you," Aidou mumbled, crossing his arms.

"You're right, I _do _need me-"

"Oh fuck you!" Aidou snapped, restraining a grin as Kain chortled happily. "We need each other. And I'm not leaving,"

"Good," Kain said, inwardly relieved. His stomach warmed contentedly, despite his cold surroundings, when Aidou curled up against the frozen cage bars, as close as he could possibly be, his arms wedged between them, reaching towards him.


	37. Control

Takuma had retreated back into the library, fully motivated once more to search for a cure for the scar. Shiki had seen the shining determination in his eyes and the way he squared his shoulders. He wouldn't be seeing him for some time then. Once Takuma was as determined as this, he would not stop until he had found what he was looking for.

That left Shiki in his room, staring blankly at the floor.

He hated being left alone now.

When was he going to black out next? What would he do? The questions kept circling his head restlessly, haunting him with the memories he had of what he had done at the Coronation.

He was also panicking. The feeling was back- someone was watching him. In fact, Shiki was almost sure that that someone – _Rido_ – had seen Takuma trying to cure him with Kaname's blood.

Shiki glanced over at the mirror.

He was far enough away from it that he couldn't see the details of his reflection, only his dark auburn hair and pale skin. He looked enough like Rido, which spooked Shiki.

_Rido had seen Takuma try to cure him with Kaname's blood._

He had seen it fail.

Shiki could imagine Rido laughing at them right now, if he had seen the way Takuma's face had fallen at Kaname's rejected blood trickling out of the needle wound.

He grasped the edge of the mattress, using it to hoist himself up, and sauntered over to the door.

This could be a risky move. It would be a stupid move to let himself roam free in the castle- it meant Rido was also free to roam the castle. But Shiki could not bear to stay in the room a moment longer. His mind was muddled and he simply couldn't care about considering all the consequences of his actions, with all the worry crashing on him. It was driving him mad. Especially when he glanced back at the mirror he was sure he'd seen Rido in before. If Rido could see him through it, if he was watching him right now…

All sensibility seemed to have fled Shiki's mind. He had to get away.

So he walked, out of his room, down the empty corridors of Kuran Castle. The excitement from days ago at being in a castle had worn off long ago. Now the castle didn't seem so grand or welcoming. He couldn't see the paintings, for their skilled artwork, but felt the portraits' eyes staring down at him, scrutinising him, and it was as if they whispered "_traitor, traitor, traitor"_ with every step he took.

To Shiki, the castle was suffocating, confining. He felt his feet move faster, faster, _faster_ down the corridor, until he was almost running. Running away from Rido's gaze.

He staggered around a corner, bending forwards to hold his knees as he panted.

To his surprise, he felt a cold breeze drifting by. The refreshing chill was so unlike the coldness Rido carried with him. It was safe, and exhilarating- a gateway to the outside world that Shiki had been shut from for so long. He was drawn to it, like a moth to a flame.

The breeze came from an open window, Shiki discovered. The window he didn't even know opened, at the end of the corridor, above a table with an elaborate flower arrangement on it.

Shiki shivered as a particularly strong gust of wind blew through his thin shirt, and made his way towards the window. The blue moonlight also made him shiver- it transformed the castle into hues of cold black and navy, harsh outlines of pale blue where the moonlight chose to linger.

He leaned his hands on the table, resting his weight on it and closing his eyes. The cold was certainly enjoyable after staying in his stuffy room for so long. Even as it whipped his spiky hair against his cheeks, he smiled.

When he opened his eyes, Shiki stopped smiling.

He narrowed his eyes, squinting at a figure, down in the courtyard. The figure was facing away from him, but Shiki could pick out that it was a man from his broader shoulders, and he was carrying some sort of package in his arms. The man glanced up at the window, exactly at where Shiki stood. Could he see him? Shiki could certainly see the man. He didn't appear big from this distance, but Shiki could tell by the ease he carried the package that the man was quite large. The man sneered at him, and then turned away.

Suddenly it occurred to Shiki that the window may have been opened by a thief. He leaned further forwards, preparing to launch himself out, when he froze.

That wasn't a package in the man's arms.

It was wriggling, and from the moonlight, he could see delicate, long hair hanging down from one end. It was auburn hair, burning red in the light.

It was Yuuki.

Shiki's breath caught in his throat as he struggled to take in what he was witnessing. _Yuuki is being kidnapped, do something_! He tried to scream for help, or at least _move_. But his fingers only tightened on the table, they locked there, holding him from pouncing over the table and windowsill. His mouth snapped shut, preventing him for calling for the staff, the guards, _anyone_ to stop the figure, who was running away.

He was screaming inside.

The figure disappeared into the shadows of the courtyard, one last flick of Yuuki's flaming hair before it also disappeared from view.

Then the spell lifted, and Shiki found himself shuddering and panting again, as though he'd run a mile. He gaped at the place where the kidnapper had stood. Why hadn't he been able to move? He could have cut the kidnapper off and saved Yuuki!

Heavy with shame, Shiki retreated down the corridor, feeling like a coward, a failure… he yelped with fright as he looked to the side, straight into an open room where a mirror showed him himself. There was no Rido. It was just him.

He stepped into the room, breathing in a delicate, sweet scent, like warmed honey. It was Yuuki's room.

How had he gone past the open door without noticing it? Most of the doors in the castle remained shut. This one had its door bashed in, and it lay on the floor in pieces.

He stepped inside, and then began yelling.

"The princess has been taken! Yuuki's gone!"

For a few seconds there was nothing. Then he heard the sound of footsteps from all the surrounding areas in the castle heading towards the room. Guilt still burned in his stomach as he remembered the moment, the chance which he hadn't taken, where he could have saved her.

What was it that had stopped him? His body hadn't listened to him when he wanted it to move, but he hadn't blacked out. He could hear Rido laughing again, in his mind, and fury filled him for a few seconds, before it was overpowered by shame.

Shiki waited miserably for people to arrive, whilst he did, he wondered whether he could blame Rido for stopping him reacting when he should have, or it was only himself and his own fear which had paralyzed him.

* * *

><p>They were woken by the sound of Seiren appearing in the clearing, just a few hours before dawn. Kaname was the first one to get to her, and he grasped her roughly by the shoulder.<p>

"What are you _doing _here? I told you to watch Yuuki!"

"She's gone," Seiren panted, clutching back at Kaname's hand, "She was taken, before I even got there- I have failed you. I cannot-"

He didn't even bother listening to the rest of her, throwing her aside. She disappeared in smoke, just like when she had arrived, and for a second Zero was horrified, thinking Kaname had killed her and she had been turned into dust.

"I've sent her back," Kaname snapped, levelling Zero with a cold stare. For a moment Zero wondered how it was that Kaname had known what he was thinking. "She will track her down,"

Ruka was waking too by then, from all the noises around her. She took in Zero's worried face and Kaname's renewed pacing- it was like he had never stopped since last night. She and Zero had been ushered to sleep by a pacing Kaname, him never losing speed or stepping beyond the few yards he paced. Was Kaname still pissed at Seiren? She seemed to have missed out on something, and hesitated before motioning Zero over to fill her in.

Once she understood everything, she stood, brushing off her clothes and timing herself before catching Kaname's arm, just before he pivoted around to do another length.

"Perhaps it is a good thing she came now. We've woken early, we could catch them by surprise," Ruka reasoned, knowing that it had been a dangerous move to stop Kaname while he was pacing.

The Pureblood paused, and then nodded.

"Yes, that's true. We're awake now, it's best to start now. We must find Rima and the recruits then,"

Ruka followed Kaname northwards, towards the border (he had slung Zero over his shoulder so quickly that the Hunter hadn't had time to protest, before they began running).

Before they could reach it, they found themselves spotting the recruits everywhere on the forest floor, sleeping, but with Kaname's aura approaching, they quickly woke up. The recruits' awed eyes followed the Pureblood, some of them rubbing their eyes in wonder as though they didn't believe he was there. It was comical, to Zero, who swung on Kaname's shoulder to see the upturned, awestruck faces left behind him.

Kaname drifted smoothly through the crowds, a placid expression on his face as he nodded to his people, even taking a cup of water offered from a middle-aged woman's hands with a small smile.

Ruka followed behind him, and poked Zero in the forehead as he rolled his eyes at the crowd that was practically worshipping Kaname with their eyes.

"Rima," Kaname called softly, looking for the petite ginger-haired girl amongst the people. He was proud of the turn-out. At least a couple hundred were there, he could sense them, and they were spread throughout the length of the border, hidden between the trees.

She appeared at his side, eyes flitted to Zero's behind hanging on his shoulder, but directing back to Kaname immediately.

"Kaname, we've just been staying here. I thought you'd not want us to go in without your permission-"

"Yes, you've done well Rima. Good thinking," Kaname said, reaching over to pat her shoulder, "And now, we must go. We've wasted enough time already,"

"Hai, Kaname," Rima bowed briefly, running away through the trees to wake all the recruits.

Kaname set Zero down, ignoring his highly pissed-off expression. He handed him the water and turned to face the border.

Zero handed the water to Ruka, following Kaname to stand, side-by-side at the border.

From the edge of the forest, he could see the Hanadagi castle very easily. Its dark walls seemed more sinister to Zero than the Kuran Castle's bright, sandy marble walls. The shadow faced them at the moment, with a pink blushed sky showing that the sun was rising behind the castle, casting the inky smudge of shadow that drifted towards the right.

He glanced at Kaname from the corner of his eye. His face was stoic, which annoyed Zero, but he was beginning to realise that Kaname shut off his expressions when he was in front of crowds, or people he didn't know (or probably trust). Maybe it was a means of self-protection. Maybe it was just because Kaname didn't want people to think less of him. _The prideful bastard_, Zero thought with a smirk.

He looked back at the Hanadagi territory and sighed.

"So what are we waiting for? The plan, or at least what you said last night, was that Seiren, you and I would be going into the castle straightaway. But Seiren isn't here anymore,"

Kaname's jaw tightened, Zero bit his lip, he must be thinking about Yuuki. Now that Yuuki was gone, Kaname and Zero both shared this feeling of darkness that settled over them. Their princess, their sweet friend was in danger. It made everything unsettling, everything felt lost to them, even though Zero was trying to grasp to the hope that she was alright, wherever she was.

But this incident couldn't ruin the plan. The whole reason they were here was because of Aidou and Kain. That and the fact that Kaname had to deal with Hanadagi…

"Look, the plan can still work. You can go off to deal with Hanadagi. I'll go get Kain and Aidou-"

"You will **not**," Kaname's eyes were wide, shocked by Zero, although Zero could barely understand why that was.

He raised an eyebrow at Kaname, "We really need to talk about this 'ordering people about' thing, Kaname. It may work with some people, but you know it won't work with me-"

"This isn't about me controlling you, Zero. This is about your safety, and you _promised_ me you'd stay by my side," Kaname snapped, storming over to stand a little further apart from Zero. _How ironic_.

Zero didn't let him get far, following him stubbornly.

"What, you want me to follow you everywhere?" He also saw the irony of his own words, but shrugged them off, "What's the point of me coming here if I'm totally useless?"

"You weren't meant to come here," Kaname muttered. Zero almost rolled his eyes when he saw Kaname was almost _sulking_ again.

"What's the plan, Kaname?" Ruka urged, joining them. Kaname actually _glared_ at her, for no apparent reason.

"We've already discussed it. You'll stay here, command the recruits," he told Ruka. "We can take Rima with us," Kaname told Zero, "And _you_ will stay with me,"

Zero scowled but nodded reluctantly, "I'm going to go get a gun. One of them will have one, won't they?" he gestured to the recruits, who were watching him warily, most likely wondering who the hell he was. Kaname nodded, glancing to Rima behind Zero. She swiftly took Zero's arm and went to help him retrieve some weapons from the recruits (who were not likely to part with them for a _stranger_ without her presence).

Ruka shifted her hands to rest on her hips, glaring at Kaname. She still wasn't happy with the fact that _she_ had to stay as a reserve, and not go save her friends herself. But her glare smoothed over as she saw how worried Kaname was.

Not many people knew that the more emotionless Kaname appeared, the more his emotions were getting the better of him. She knew how ruthlessly he had practised hiding his emotions from his face, since he believed (for some reason) that they would show his weaknesses. From her experience with Kaname, she could pick out the squeaky sound of the soles of his shoes pressing against the grass as he stopped himself from pacing again.

"What are you thinking about, Kaname?"

He jerked, clearly he had been lost in his thoughts and she'd startled him.

"I'm feeling the border. It is very different to how it was before. It's sturdier, hostile," Kaname breathed deeply, "He's _here_,"

Ruka's heart began pounding. Rido was here. He was in the castle.

"Ruka, your job is not only back-up, I hope you know,"

She blinked, looking at him questionably.

"If you see _anyone_ running out of the castle, it is your duty to catch them. Bind them and take them to HQ,"

Ruka nodded. They would be taking hostages then. From the look in Kaname's eye, she knew the hostages would be for interrogation mainly, some for execution, some for meaningless torture, depending on the outcome of the day. Kaname would need to take his wrath out on something, or someone, and it would be better if an enemy he could _deal_ with it rather than a friend.

That was the bitter, heartless way of war.

"Also, if we _do_ require back-up, it will be Rima who will send the signal," he pointed at the sky. Ruka nodded, understanding what he meant. Rima would use her lightning. "If we aren't out by noon, then you will come in and back us up, but everything will be finished by tonight,"

By that, he meant she was tasked with getting the recruits to speed things up if the battle was taking longer than usual.

"Kaname," she began, placing a hand on his, "Is this the start of the war?"

"No, the war has already begun," he said, shaking her off, "Come, we must get started,"


	38. Hanadagi Castle PART 1

**Author's note:**

**Hello readers!**

**I just wanted to make sure no one hates Shiki for the wrong reasons, bcos I lurve him and he doesn't deserve booing etc. **

**In the last chapter, I wanted to convey Shiki's struggle to maintain his own identity from Rido. In my opinion, he's already been under Rido's control before so he's much more vulnerable to it – he's almost **_**merged**_ **with Rido a bit. Basically it's messing with his mind a **_**lot**_**.**

**That's why he doesn't know if it was Rido stopping him from stopping the kidnapper, or if it was his own natural lock-down reaction to fear which paralyzed him. It's totally up to you to decide which one it was, bcos IMO it could be either. Either way = poor Shiki. ****Poor**** Shiki. He's _not_ the one at fault…**

**K, now that's sorted:**

* * *

><p>Takuma rocked Shiki in his arms, gently rubbing his shoulder as the still shell-shocked boy quivered violently. The servants were packing in the west wing of the castle, each hurrying in or out of Yuuki's room, either furious or with horrified tears streaming down their face. He had been called the moment the news erupted that she had been taken and had raced to Shiki immediately. The instant horrid assumption his mind had jumped to was that: <em>It could be Shiki – oh god, please let it not be Shiki. <em>What if Rido had got _Shiki_ to kidnap her? He really didn't want to believe it.

Luckily, he found Shiki in the room, which meant he was innocent. However, the boy refused to move from his spot and was trembling and distressingly staring at blank space with a vacancy in his eyes that worried Takuma greatly.

"Shh, shh," Takuma hushed, holding him tighter to settle his shivering. He supposed he must be in awful shock, but wondered what Shiki had _seen_. He wasn't responding at all, but he minded himself not to push Shiki to speak since he was obviously already under a great deal of stress. Earlier on, Seiren had run into the room, looking for the first time dishevelled. Her eyes raked the room, the distraught servants, and then she had run out and disappeared again.

Shiki couldn't bear to look at Takuma, he couldn't face him, even as he was being comforted by him so tenderly. He had betrayed Kaname, and Takuma, and _everyone_. It didn't matter anymore if Rido had stopped him from moving or not, he had stood by and _let_ her go – he had done _nothing_ to stop it.

"I…I…"

"Hmm?" Takuma stopped rocking him, and instead tilted his face up to see Shiki's pale face.

Shiki found tears sliding down his face as he spoke.

"I let her go," he whispered, shutting his eyes in pure indignity, "I watched her being taken,"

Takuma blinked. So Shiki had seen the face of the kidnapper? Was that what he was saying? He made to pull Shiki to him in a fortifying hug again, but the redhead held him firmly at arms' length.

"I stood there," he hissed, and pointed through the doorway to the corridor, "I stood there and let her be taken,"

"What are you saying?" Takuma tugged him close, crushing his protesting arms against his chest. He began rubbing his shoulders again, desperately hoping Shiki was not saying what he thought he was saying. He peered around the room at the servants, hoping they had not overheard what Shiki had said, but he caught the eye of one servant who was gaping at Shiki, murder in his eyes.

Shiki sobbed, clinging to Takuma. _What's happening to me?_ he wanted to cry out. He just wanted to be safe in his own mind, to be in control of what he was doing, to not be afraid of himself.

It terrified him when he thought about how much his life was spiralling out of control, and how little he could do to stop it.

As he held onto Takuma, he began to panic. It was Yuuki, this time, who he had failed, but who would it be next? The only other in the castle with him now was Takuma.

He pressed shaky hands against Takuma, pushing him with all his might, and Takuma staggered backwards, staring in bewilderment at Shiki.

"Get away from me,"

Takuma reached for him again, but was rebuffed by Shiki's teary eyes.

"Lock me in the basement, chain me up or _something._ I can't stand anymore! I c-can't….I can't trust myself around you anymore! _Please!_"

* * *

><p>Zero swung the pistol around, twisting it around his fingertips and measuring its weight. Compared to the Bloody Rose, it was anorexic. Far too light of hand to be of any comfort to him in a near-death situation. He liked to be able to roll his weapon around like it was an extension of his wrist, but this one just didn't pull it off as neatly as his Bloody Rose.<p>

But... it would have to do.

Kaname had placed him down near the entrance of the castle, asking Rima to stay with him as he went to check something out. He didn't need to be fucking babysat, he had told him, but Kaname ignored him, striding off into the castle. He had bristled, and wanted to snap at Kaname that this was _not_ the plan, asshole… but by then the Pureblood was already gone.

Rima had been good help with the recruits. The vampires had stared at Zero like he was…a freak, or the dirt on their shoes. Zero took this all with his usual cold indifference. He didn't give a rat's ass about what a bunch of strangers thought about him. Rima had managed to extract a pistol from the deathly tight grip of the same woman who had given Kaname the water.

"The guard is nowhere to be found," Rima mused.

Zero grunted, "They _all _seem to be hiding away like bloody cowards,"

He played with the safety on the pistol, making sure to aim it away from her first. She had the same easygoing temperament as Shiki, which Zero highly appreciated after hanging around Ruka.

Suddenly Kaname emerged from the castle and beckoned them over.

He looked calm, but Zero strangely enough could hear his heart pumping madly. It was probably the sway of his bloodstream that Zero could sense, because it extended to his own blood now too.

"The place looks empty, but that only means we'll have to be even more alert. _Never let your guard down_,"

"Yes sir," Zero muttered, moving towards the doors.

The three of them walked at a steady pace into the dimly lit entrance hall. The interior of the castle was much the same as in Kuran Castle, but plainer and with a lower ceiling, and almost none of the lights were on at all, so the place seemed smaller. He barely took in the details, more focused on the layout of the castle, for use in case they needed a quick exit. Luckily, the layout was also similar to Kuran Castle, as far as Zero could tell (since he still found the castle pathways muddling). Had it been any other situation, he would have remarked on the Purebloods' collective lack of imagination.

Kaname led them through the entrance hall, up the stairs and into the first gallery it led to. There, he surprised Zero by grabbing his hand (like he was a child that needed to be held onto!) and nodded at Rima.

"Go find them then," he whispered. She bowed and silently ran off back down the stairs, probably towards the basement. Zero grudgingly allowed himself to be led _by the hand_ towards the next corridor.

With Kaname, he would deny that he felt more secure, but in all honesty he did. There was the insufficient weight of his temporary adopted weapon hanging on his left fingers, resting against his hip. And then there was the solid reassurance of a Pureblood's hand in his other hand, and it surprisingly managed to dampen his uncertainty, he realised, as they continued into the darkness of the castle. How _strange_.

* * *

><p>"…Kat…"<p>

The chain jingled as he groaned against them, opening one eye, he looked up his arm to see the ice blocks on his hands had melted. He could nearly pretend they were only very thick, very cold gloves. If he ignored the burning agony of direct contact with ice for a prolonged time frosting his fingers past numbness and generally giving a whole new meaning to the term "pins and needles".

"Akatsuki, wake the hell up!"

His attention fell on Aidou who was still crouching near the bottom of his cage. He blinked. Aidou had fashioned a sort of dagger out of ice and appeared to be alternating between hacking and sawing at the cage bars. There were splinters and pieces of broken ice surrounding him. The strength of the ice was no match to the bars.

"How long have you been at that?" he murmured, stifling a yawn.

"Since I woke up, but it isn't working," Aidou hissed, giving a particularly thrust at the bars. The ice snapped and his fist fell through the bars, empty-handed. He growled and chucked the ice chunk far away, glaring up at Kain.

"What's up?" the redhead asked calmly, snapping his jaws after a satisfying crack of his neck (which Aidou whined at).

"I heard noises. Footsteps,"

This made Kain instantly wake up. He scanned the room for intruders, his gaze falling on the smouldering candle which had burnt out. What was providing the light then? He searched for the source and spotted what looked like a mass of cloth burning from Aidou's old cell.

Aidou followed his eyes and nodded smugly.

"I saw the candle giving out, so I made a plan," he stood up. Kain noticed then that the cloth had been Aidou's shirt. He didn't worry that the blonde was cold, he was _never_ cold, "I put my clothes on the shackles my feet had been in, guessing that they might still work. Then I threw some snow at your feet," he giggled, "I know where you're ticklish, Kat, but I'm surprised you didn't wake up from that. You were still sleeping when you sent your flames to your feet and voila- we have light!"

Kain smiled wisely, "You know that you could've just lit your clothes with the candle, right?"

Aidou blinked widely, and then blushed, making Kain guffaw raucously. Aidou quickly shushed him though, holding one hand to his lips and the other out, as if he was waiting for something. Kain remembered what he had said before. _I heard noises. Footsteps._ He inwardly shuddered. Was Rido back? Or… a dim flicker of hope lit in Kain's belly, could it be _help_? Could it be someone sent by Kaname to save them?

"Hana," he hissed, ignoring Aidou's hushing glare, "It could be help! It could be Kaname to save us, we should-"

"Be quiet, you idiot, it could be Rido!"

But Kain wriggled insistently, clanging the chains. He might be losing his mind, but if it was help, they should make sure help knew where they were by making some noise. What if help passed them by because they were being quiet? They would never know they were there! He prepared to yell when Aidou threw a piece of ice at him.

"Kat, are you mad?" Aidou ridiculed, staring at Kain seriously, "It could be _Rido_ out there. Don't you- don't you dare screa-"

Kain opened his mouth.

But the door opened first.

* * *

><p>The ground was cold where he dropped her, but she only hummed in protest. She had discovered that with every whimper or whine she emitted, he would tighten his vice-grip on her thigh, which had already formed a rather painful bruise. She was scared he would snap her femur, like a twig. It wasn't hard to imagine he could, from the size of his hands.<p>

Yuuki knew that she was a Pureblood, she was gifted with powers beyond many peoples' imaginations, but what good was that to her if she didn't know how to use them yet? Kaname had been insistent on training her, which she had eagerly complied with, but their training had been cut short with the Coronation, and all the mess and disaster that had followed after it. Her powers buzzed like a live wire in her core – if only she knew how to summon it.

She wished she had Artemis with her. Then she could've at least _whacked_ this thug around the head and run for help. But she hadn't even been awake when he had sneaked into her room and bundled her up in her duvet, jamming a bit in her mouth. She had no chance of bringing her weapon, or any impromptu equipment along with her. The only thing she brought along was her quilt covers, which were ironically the thing bundling her up in an inescapable cocoon.

Yuuki's eyes hadn't been covered though, and she had seen Shiki at the window, staring at his form getting smaller and smaller as she was carried further and further away. She only hoped he had told somebody she was gone.

She wished this was all a big nightmare.

The room was so dimly lit that she could barely see a thing other than the small lit fireplace which cast ironically warm colours in such a freezing _**cold **_room. Yuuki wanted to squeeze her eyes shut and fall back asleep. She _knew _exactly who was in the room with her. She could sense him, like one would be able to sense the danger of being trapped with a tiger in a room _instantly._ She _knew_ he was watching her like a squirming bug under a microscope.

"Yuuki-chan,"

His voice was smooth and welcoming, but its incongruence with the setting made her shudder at the eeriness of it all. But she knew that she could not let him think her weak or frightened. She lifted her head to meet his gaze, biting back a whimper as she saw his chilling smile, his perfect face.

"Yuuki-chan, you're looking rather cold in your nightwear. Come. Sit by me here, next to the fire," Rido patted the sofa seat beside him with a wide smile.

Yuuki numbly lifted herself to standing, and she stumbled over her numb icy feet towards him, favouring her left leg. Her right leg was an assortment of painful contrasts- frozen feet, burning hot bruise on her thigh, trembling knees. She took the seat beside him, not even trying to edge away, for she knew that would give him incentive to draw her in closer.

Rido smiled charmingly at her, stroking her cheek and hooking his fingers around the bit and pulling it free. She shuddered as her own saliva dripped down her chin messily, with Rido wiping it away so tenderly with his clawed thumb.

And then she finally spotted the other person in the room. A small child. A little girl who was sat on the other side of Rido.

The poor thing looked just as terrified as Yuuki probably did (even though she was trying her hardest not to show it). She had to be only six or seven, and was again like Yuuki, dressed in her nightclothes. Her eyes were red-rimmed, swollen. Everything about her screamed _save me_.

Unfortunately, Yuuki was unable to do so.

"Ah, Yuuki-chan, meet Kasumi-chan. Say hello to Yuuki, Kasumi-chan," Rido lifted Kasumi's hand and waved it for her, like she was a novelty puppet.

"H-Hello Yuuki-ch-"

"Say hello, Yuuki-chan," he said, eyes returning to Yuuki's demandingly.

"Hello Kasumi-chan," she gasped, realising that she wasn't breathing properly due to her fear. She sucked in a lungful of air, and with it she filled herself with a sudden determination, "Don't worry, someone is coming-"

"Ah-ah," Rido tutted, a mock-pout on his lips, "You must shake hands, like proper young ladies,"

Yuuki inwardly frowned. There was something odd about Rido. Last year he had been unstable, yes – obsessing over her and her mother incessantly. But now, he appeared strangely more in control of his mind… even though his mind and thoughts and ideas were pure insanity, _he_ was able to make sense of them and focus on meeting his goals, whatever they might be. It was a much more frightening prospect, seeing him this way.

She gently took Kasumi's tiny hand in hers, shaking it solemnly and meeting the girl's eyes steadily. Yuuki had heard that Purebloods were able to perform telepathy, they could send messages with their minds. She tried her hardest to reassure the girl with hers, squeezing her hand tightly.

_We're in this together, Kasumi-chan. Don't worry. Help will come for us. We are not alone._

Rido sighed contentedly when they had finished shaking hands, and tugged Yuuki close to his side, ignoring her frightened whine. He dragged her up so her head was rested on his shoulder, and curled his other arm around Kasumi, securing her on his chest.

"You two must be the prettiest girls in the world," he laughed, nuzzling against their paralyzed bodies.

"What do you want from us, Rido?" Yuuki whispered. She winced at how weak her voice was, but was glad it was loud enough to carry to Rido. She would not be afraid. She couldn't be. Kasumi needed her to be strong now. They had to be strong.

Rido continued laughing, and suddenly planted a kiss on both of their heads.

Yuuki wondered if he was trying to be her father, or her lover. She couldn't tell where she stood with Rido anymore. Yuuki let her arm swing forwards, naturally, to rest against Rido's chest. Part of her felt sick for leaning closer to him, but at least this way she could reach Kasumi and touch her hand.

_We're together in this, Kasumi-chan_._ I'm here. I won't leave you._

When Rido had stopped laughing, Yuuki nervously darted a look at his face. He looked like he was thinking. Her heart began to thud rapidly in unease and she tightened her fingers around Kasumi's more firmly, partly for her own comfort.

"I…Well," Rido stammered, almost as if he was bashful. Yuuki looked up at him in confusion. He smiled widely then, staring unseeingly at something above Yuuki's head.

"Hmm. It seems that we've got to wait a bit for the others to arrive. Meanwhile…"

"Others? What others?" Yuuki cut in, but piped down at Rido's manic grin.

"Girls, I don't want to get bored waiting, do you? We have plenty of time before they get here, so… I think I would like it if we played a little _game _together,"


	39. Hanadagi Castle PART 2

**Author's note:**

**200 reviews guys? Seriously! Thank you so much! ****I'm so happy people like this story!**

**Btw, there are a few OCs that are gonna pop up in this, but they aren't main charas, so don't get too upset. It's just a few Hanadagi's that I had to, yknow, create out of nothing.**

**DISCLAIMER DISCLAIMER DISCLAIMER! NOT MINE NOT MINE NOT MIIIINE!**

**Ok, now that that's sorted out- allez!**

* * *

><p>Rima pushed open the door.<p>

Nothing.

There was no one in the room. She sighed. There were so many cells in the basement, and the lighting was dim, and the ceiling dripped periodically. All in all, it looked like the set of a horror show, in the cellar where they keep all the monsters locked up… she was getting sick of the monotonous routine of creeping to a door, feeling sick to the stomach with anxiety, wrenching it open and preparing for… nothing. The repetition was making her stomach cramp, and her patience thin.

She brushed her knuckles against another door, letting it open on its own, slowly and silently on its ancient hinges. The last time it had been oiled must have been at least a _century_ ago. She brought her torch in the room, waving it around, making the tiny shadow inflections on the walls dance like miniature ghosts. She was alone in the large empty room.

There was no furniture of any kind, nor any decorations. Rima took a few steps further into the room, turning in a circle to see every part of it. There was nothing there, but Rima felt like she was missing seeing something. Something directly under her very nose.

Then she lifted her torch, it caught the grooves in the wall. It was a wood panelled wall, with regular square recessions dipping into the wall. She brushed her fingers against one of them, raising the torch towards it. There _was_ something else there. The walls were so dusty! Rima was glad she wasn't squeamish about dirt or _getting dirty_. She brushed the dust aside to reveal the true dark colour of the mahogany panelling. And there was something else glinting in the fire-light.

She squinted, rubbing at it. They were letters. Engraved gold-painted letters.

She crouched down to read the writing and found that it was a name. _Natsuko_. A girls' name. No surname.

Rima was confused. Who was Natsuko? Why was her name on the wall? She caught sight of a small thin line of gold leading off of the panel, and followed it with her finger, scraping the dust off the panels with her fingernails. It led upwards, then directly right, and down to the panel beside Natsuko's. She rubbed the dust off another name, _Kohaku_, a boy's name. Something rang a bell in her head, but Rima couldn't place where she had heard the name before. She followed another gold line upwards, towards the right, and down again into the next panel.

But as her finger pressed against the panel, it opened.

Rima sucked in a startled breath as the panel _clicked_ when she pushed it, and then pulled out like a file drawer. She crouched lower to read the writing. – another girl: _Kasumi_.

Rima examined the name. There was something about it…

She gasped.

Kasumi. That must be _Hanadagi_ Kasumi!

And then it suddenly dawned on Rima where she must be.

She must be in the chambers of the sleeping Hanadagi family. That was why there were no surnames on the panels. She stepped back from the wall. Those names she had read were the head of the Hanadagi clan's children: Hanadagi Natsuko – the eldest daughter, Hanadagi Kohaku – the only son, Hanadagi Kasumi – the youngest child. The lines she had followed must be their branches. She was sure that if she followed the gold lines all over, they would reveal the whole family tree.

But why was Kasumi's "bed" open? It was empty. Had she Woken? Rima lifted the torch higher, and froze.

Hanadagi Nori, the head of the clan – his bed was opened too.

She jumped as something small dropped on the hand holding the torch, and switched her hands to bring it to the light. It was blood. It came from above, where Nori's bed was hanging overhead.

_He __**must**__ have been Awakened, _she thought, rubbing the blood between her fingers. It had a thick consistency like honey, coagulated from being left out so long. That meant he had been Awakened a while ago.

Rima didn't need to sniff her hand to know the blood was Pure.

* * *

><p>Zero walked into Kaname's back when he stopped suddenly, and peered over his shoulder to peer at what he was looking at. The corridor seemed empty, but he also held his breath to listen for anything.<p>

There was a small pattering sound. Zero realised after a few seconds that they were footsteps, and they were getting louder and therefore closer.

Kaname quickly pressed him against the wall, scrambling along it until he found a tight space in the wall where he squeezed Zero into. He flattened his body over Zero's, facing out towards the corridor. Zero wanted to hammer his fists against Kaname's back for being so _damn overprotective_, but the space was _really_ tight, and he was struggling just to have space to breathe quietly without jostling Kaname.

"Stay here," he whispered in his ear, breaking away from Zero.

The absence of warmth startled Zero, and he bit his lip to stop his teeth from chattering. Strangely enough, he hadn't noticed they had been walking in the dark. With Kaname leading him, he hadn't really needed to see anything, he guessed, so he had assumed they could see where they were going (or at least Kaname could). But now, alone, it was observable that there was really no light whatsoever. Zero strained his ears in an attempt to hear anything.

Nothing.

Then he suddenly heard something slam loudly against the wall, a panicked voice babbling and whimpering, and Kaname's low voice hissing at the person to be quiet.

In a few seconds, all fell silent again.

Then Zero saw Kaname's hand, glowing faintly in the darkness, beckoning him. He took it and allowed himself to be tugged out of the tight cavity.

Kaname's other hand was still holding the person pressed against the wall by the throat. Zero was taken aback at the appearance of the other. He had a very handsome face, but his hair was scraggly and long and his skin was so pale and translucent, Zero swore he could see his actual cheekbones. And his eyes… Zero could already see that they could not see anything at all. They were milky white, and flicked from side to side, hopeful perhaps that his captor would spare him.

What shocked Zero the most were his teeth when he opened his mouth to speak. They were black, not from cavities, but…stained by blood. He could smell its acrid, pungent scent on the man's breath. It was even stronger when he spoke.

"Rido-sama? Rido-sama-"

Kaname slammed him against the wall roughly, "Do not call me by that name,"

Nori gasped, choking from the squeezing hand, "K-Kaname-sama?"

"What the hell is going on, Nori? My people are in your castle - they were _attacked _and then taken!"

Nori began shaking his head slowly, and then faster and faster. Kaname quickly grasped his jaw, holding him so his head was tilted back, and they could see his throat bob as he swallowed.

"_Speak,"_

"He came," Nori groaned, "Rido. He came to Wake us. But he Woke only me, and my baby Kasumi. Oh god. He's got my baby. Kasumi-"

"Let him breathe, Kaname!" Zero cried, reaching to prise his fingers off the man's neck. He could barely get the air in, so how Kaname expected him to be able to _speak_ was beyond Zero.

Kaname released Nori's throat, and grabbed his shoulders instead.

"Calm down," he said, letting Nori catch his breath, "You can do better than this. Tell me what happened in as much detail as you can spare, as fast as you possibly can,"

"It was… It was some weeks ago, I think... I'm afraid time has escaped me, Kaname. I cannot tell one day from another," Nori's sightless eyes wandered listlessly; "We have been Sleeping for so long. But he came to us - we all sensed him, even in Sleep. But he only opened my bed and drew me out,"

Nori suddenly reached for the front of Kaname's clothes, grasping them.

"You do know … you do know what he did to Wake me, don't you?"

"I do," Kaname confirmed solemnly. Zero could see his grip loosen marginally.

"He force-fed it to me, making me his servant. But I tried to fight him as soon as I regained my consciousness, I swear!"

"Speak softly, Nori, we do not want to draw attention," Kaname murmured.

Nori nodded, "I tried to fight him, but then he took my sight, saying I would not need eyes for what I was about to do,"

"What did he make you do?"

"He…H-He had my little girl," Nori's voice softened, "Though I could not see her, I could smell her. She was Awake too. He told me if I didn't, she would be…she…"

"What did he make you do, Nori?" Kaname repeated, needing to hear it with his own ears.

"He made me drink their blood. Humans! All over my castle, in rattling chains. I could hear them. Each one was brought to me and I was made to Turn all of them. I knew what I was doing would anger you, but it was for _her_, and even if he didn't have her, you know he was fully capable of still_ making_ me do it,"

"Yes," Kaname said, releasing him finally. The Pureblood crumpled on the floor, weeping almost noiselessly. Kaname followed him on his knees and rested his hands on his shoulders as a grave comfort. "It was not your fault,"

"I've T-Turned so _many_ Kaname, and their screams echo in my mind. My stomach was so full of blood, I had to vomit again and again…"

"Shh, friend, be still," Kaname hushed him, letting him lie in the corridor. "Rest here. I will stop him,"

"I wish you could, Kaname," Nori sobbed, as Kaname dragged Zero away. "I wish you could,"

* * *

><p>The door opened.<p>

Kain's hopeful smile fell as he saw who it was.

The guard.

The man's eyes immediately dropped onto Aidou, who was _free_ and then he smirked.

"Hana, _**run!**_" Kain screamed, watching in horror as Aidou moved too slowly, and the guard managed to grab him around the waist.

Aidou yelled, kicking against the guard, bucking and punching in every direction, but the guard was so much bigger than him, he barely made him lose his grip.

"How the fuck did you get out?" the guard snarled, taking Aidou towards his cage. Aidou shrieked, even twisting in the guard's hold to head-butt him on the nose. The guard grunted as blood dribbled down his nostrils, but barely paid it any other attention as he climbed into the cage with Aidou in his arms. "If you get out of here again, I'll break every bone in your body,"

"Get off me!" Aidou yelped, head-butting him again on his broken nose. This angered the guard, and he punched Aidou in the gut, laughing as the air whooshed out of him and he dropped like a rock to the cage floor.

"Get up then," he taunted Aidou, kicking him in the chest, "Come on, _get up_. Show me who's the better vampire,"

The guard was only a Level C, Kain realised. He didn't have any powers other than his brute strength.

Aidou wasn't as strong as him, for sure, but he had his ice.

"Hana!" he yelled, "When I say so-!"

He couldn't hear any sign of acknowledgement, but simply prayed he had heard him. The guard hadn't even stopped kicking him. Kain had to act quickly. He yelled, "NOW!" and immediately blast his fire as much as he could, watching the cage erupt in flames for the third time, obscuring Hana from his view.

This time, he hoped Aidou had managed to defend himself in time. It had been so quick.

He held the fire for a few seconds and then called it all back as fast as he could, blinking away the smoke and stinging of his eyes, the acrid stench of burnt flesh assaulting his nostrils.

The guard was gone. But luckily Aidou was not.

Kain beamed as he saw his cousin wrapped in ice sheets so thick, he could barely see his face clearly. He watched Aidou peel back the ice, as if he was simply wrapped in cling film. The blonde did _not _look happy with him.

"See what I mean? You have to be frickin _quiet_! Who knows who could hear us next?" Aidou snapped.

Kain nodded, opening his mouth, this time to apologise.

But again, the door opened before he could speak.


	40. Hanadagi Castle PART 3

Zero realised soon enough that Kaname in fact might not actually know where they were going, or at least, perhaps he hadn't noticed that they had gone over the same corridor three times already. He kept glancing backwards, expecting Nori to be there, huddled on the floor where they left him. Zero was actually quite bothered by that fact – they had left a blind man alone and defenceless in a castle where it seemed that Rido was on the loose, plus – Rido had it in for the man… even though he knew Nori was a Pureblood, he'd said Rido was his Master by having Woken him, so he was even more vulnerable to him.

As he worried over these thoughts, he bumped into Kaname's back again. They were stopped in a junction, where Kaname seemed to be torn between the two directions. As he suddenly decided on one, Zero tugged him back.

...because seriously. Did Kaname _know_ where they were going?

"Kaname," he hissed. Kaname made no indication that he had heard him. "Kaname, we've been here before,"

Kaname shushed him, but Zero angrily shook his hand free. He was getting sick of getting dragged around, even if Kaname's hand was a surprising reassurance in his. He could easily feel Kaname's shoulder bumping against his own, since they were walking so closely together.

Zero also didn't want to tell Kaname that he could feel his hand bruising again, and holding hands was becoming uncomfortable. It burned hot as it spread to his knuckles. This seemed to catch Kaname's attention though, much to his chagrin (he didn't want Kaname to think he was weak again, and maybe even send him back…). He immediately groped in the dark for Zero's hand again, though the Hunter smacked him lightly away.

"I can walk by myself," Zero huffed, hoping Kaname couldn't see him cradle his palm carefully in the dark.

Kaname grunted in annoyance, but let him go. They continued to walk, though Zero struggled not to lag behind. The darkness was suffocating. How was Kaname managing to walk so gracefully, not stumbling at all or patting the air in front of him to feel for obstacles like Zero was? _Then again_, he rolled his eyes, _this __**is**__ Kaname – Mr Perfect – I'm questioning here…_

"Do you know where we're going?" he finally asked Kaname.

"I am trying to locate the Humans. From what Nori said, it's likely they are still in the castle,"

"I thought we were looking for Rido,"

"We are. We're looking for both Rido and, now, the Humans too. Whichever we come across first, we will deal with,"

"I love how detailed your plans are, Kaname," Zero drawled, his voice dripping with sarcasm. Kaname snorted, but otherwise remained silent.

The corridor seemed to narrow after a few more minutes of walking. Zero stretched his arms out to feel for the walls, and soon enough his fingertips brushed both sides of the corridor. It was getting narrower and narrower. He imagined it was like a rabbit's burrow, getting more maze-like and smaller the deeper they went into the castle.

Zero gasped as his fingertip got nicked, caught by the sharp edge of a portrait frame, or something. He stuck it in his mouth quickly, knowing the scent of blood would be easily picked up by Kaname, or any other vampire lingering in the vicinity. The taste of his own blood was disturbingly bland compared to the blood he was now used to, like he was tasting water – plain and boring – compared to fine wine (not that he drank wine to know it). He mechanically sucked until no more blood came, and then paused, realising that something had changed.

He had stopped walking. Subconsciously, he had been preoccupied with dealing with his finger. He had stopped walking because of it. Kaname had to be much further up the corridor now. He quickly hurried after him, this time rolling up his sleeves to protect his hands as he guided himself along the corridor by his hands.

Zero heard his heart begin to thunder in his ears, the tighter space was suffocating and echoed his breath, which was growing shallow and fast – he was panting. The air was thinner, or was he just imagining it? He picked up his pace, jumping as he heard footsteps, and then realising they were his own.

But he couldn't hear Kaname's footsteps anymore.

"Kaname? Kaname!" he hissed, daring not speak above a whisper. Zero wanted to call for Kaname, but he bit his lips to stop himself. It wouldn't be wise to alert the enemy where he was.

He was starting to panic, though he didn't let himself fall into the full state of panic, concentrating hard on not stumbling, not falling, not…not falling behind more…

The corridor finally stopped narrowing, when it was just at the width where Zero's elbow-span reached either side. He sniffed, trying to pick out Kaname's scent trail. Where was he? Why wasn't he answering?

"Kaname," Zero hissed, coming to a stop. His breath was laboured, and his thighs were shaking from the brisk pace he had been walking at. He would have run, it would've been easier, but there was so little space for him to move that he didn't want to risk it, especially since his feet would've made so much noise in the echoing space.

He was going to kill Kaname, as soon as he got to him. If he thought it was funny to leave him in the dark, at a time like this… but, Kaname wouldn't do something like this – not now, not in this situation. Zero started to worry. What if Kaname was in trouble? What if he'd walked into a trap and gotten caught and now he was beyond any means of help… He was beginning to regret letting go of Kaname's hand.

But then suddenly, his hand was grasped again. Zero gasped, whirling around to smack Kaname where he thought his face was. His fist only made contact with the air as he lunged, which frustrated him even more.

"You bastard!" he smacked him in the chest, "You left me in the _dark_! I thought you said we were going to stick together! God, Kaname, this isn't the time for playing jokes!"

He felt Kaname's thumb rub apologetically against his tender knuckles. His cool hand was quite pleasant on his burning skin.

"Shh," Kaname hushed him, making Zero bite his lips, particularly hard in anger. He let himself be dragged along again, by Kaname, hissing as Kaname's thumb dug into his bruise. "Did I make you worry, Zero?"

"Hardly," he scoffed, knocking Kaname's thumb away with his own. "But you just went against your own plan,"

"I did, did I?"

Zero grunted with a nod, head-butting Kaname's shoulder blades. The bloody Pureblood bastard had made Zero promise to stay by his side, but had disappeared and left him, for what? The laughs?

"Old coot," Zero muttered under his breath. He toyed with the idea that Kaname was losing his memory in his _old age, _since it seemed that he had forgotten his plan already so soon after making it – short-term memory loss. Senility.

"Look, Zero," Kaname motioned with their linked hands towards the light they were approaching. The rectangular lines outlined what were possibly cracks through a door and doorframe. Zero let a sigh of relief whistle through his teeth. In the light, he would show Kaname how pissed off he really was.

It also was comforting to know the darkness would soon be over.

But Zero had noticed something which suddenly put him on edge.

When Kaname had lifted their hands to the light, he had caught sight of the outline of their hands. Kaname's nails were incredibly long, and curved over his fingertips like talons. Now, Zero didn't make it habit of staring at Kaname's hands, but he was _sure_ he didn't remember them looking quite so…feral. Kaname seemed like the kind of guy who kept his hands neat, not like a freaking hawk's claws! He tentatively stretched his little index out, feeling for Kaname's little finger which cupped his hand.

Yes, there was the sharp point, the hard curve of a talon. Zero grunted as Kaname curved his finger inwards in reply to his caress, pressing the point of the talon into his index finger, until, to his surprise, it _bled_.

"Ow, Kaname! What the hell?" he snapped, trying to snatch his hand back. There was something wrong with him…

Kaname laughed, and at that very moment, Zero knew.

_This wasn't Kaname_.

His laugh was harsh and loud, for one, and it sent Zero into a frenzy, tugging his hand so hard he didn't even care that the talon was cutting deeper and deeper-

His voice was changing, morphing from Kaname's tenor voice to a slightly shriller, yet very lackadaisical higher-pitched tone. It sounded terribly familiar, but he just couldn't place it –

"Mm, Zero. I thought I smelt blood before," Kaname – no, it wasn't _Kaname _he was with. That man dragged Zero so he was walking in front of him, and propelled him forwards, faster up the corridor. Zero could now see the door approaching quickly. His feet were barely touching the floor as the man practically carried him along.

"Your blood is disgusting. It makes me sick," the man whispered in his ear.

Then he abruptly pushed Zero through the door.

In the next few seconds, _everything_ happened at once.

* * *

><p>"Seiren!"<p>

The petite girl slipped into the room, wrinkling her nose delicately at the she smelt the pungent, tear-inducing smell of charred flesh and smoke. Aidou stumbled over to her, she caught him as he clumsily grabbed her too, tripping over his…were those ice slippers on his feet?

Seiren quirked a brow at Aidou's ecstatic face, and Kain's relieved grin.

She could hardly know that they had been quite literally through hell's fire and ice, dodging the bullet of death several times by mere millimetres.

"You have no idea…" _how happy we are to see you_, Aidou murmured into her shoulder. She had _no idea_ why Aidou was being so affectionate with her. They were hardly close, but perhaps, she thought, he must have been through something quite traumatic and required the comfort. She glanced up at Kain again. He nodded in thanks to her, obviously glad someone could help Aidou where he couldn't at the moment. She watched his fingers twitch with the desire to take her place, but they were simply too far out of reach.

She allowed herself to hold Kain's gaze, hoping that that reassurance was enough.

"Is Kaname here then? Does he know we are-?" Kain asked. She nodded.

"Kaname-sama is here, but… the plan has gone awry,"

"What do you mean?"

"We _all_ came to get you," Seiren explained, "Toya-san, Kiryuu-san, Souen-san-"

"Ruka! Ruka-chan is here?" Aidou squealed, squirming in Seiren's hold like an excited puppy.

"I saw her at the forest, she is watching over the recruits. It seems that Toya-san, Kaname-sama and Kiryuu-san are in the castle looking for you,"

"But why are _you_ here?"

Kain quickly reprimanded Aidou with a stern look, for speaking to a lady that way, even if they sometimes considered Seiren as being more of a servant. She filled the strange space between servitude and friendship to Kaname, and the Night Class by extension, and anyway, Kain was overjoyed to see her right then. They both were – Aidou blushed bashfully.

To their surprise, Seiren looked quite embarrassed herself.

"It was not my intention to find you… not that I am not pleased to have done so, but it was not my mission. I was meant to find Yuuki-hime,"

"Yuuki? What happened to Yuuki?" Kain asked. He quickly ran over what possibly could have happened. Yuuki was safe at the castle, wasn't she?

It suddenly hit him. Yuuki was in the castle with _only Takuma and Shiki_. The others were out looking for them. Kain hated to think of his close friends as dangerous, but it was just the case now, that Shiki held a particular danger inside him – Rido. Had he done something to Yuuki?

"She was kidnapped. I was meant to go back to the castle to guard her, but I did not make it in time," she admitted, bowing her head submissively."I followed her scent back to the Hanadagi castle. By then, Ruka was at the forest, and she told me that the others had already gone in. I went inside and lost her scent, but the scent of her kidnapper led me here,"

The kidnapper must have been the Hanadagi's guard then. The one who moments before had been kicking the crap out of Aidou, and was then burnt to a satisfying crisp.

Kain nodded towards the cage bars.

"Do you think you can get those off? We've tried everything. They're unbreakable,"

She glanced at the bars.

"If you have tried _everything_, Kain-san, then I highly doubt _I_ will be able to do anything,"

She shuffled slightly on her feet, shifting Aidou's body to her other shoulder. To her horror, he was asleep. How could he fall asleep so suddenly out of the blue? What was she meant to do with him now?

"Kain-san…" she gestured to his cousin. Kain snorted, shaking his head.

"You're gonna have to put up with him now, Seiren, when he sleeps, he _sleeps_,"

It was quite amusing, watching the panic in the usually unruffled, stoic girl's face as she juggled the boy who was snoring on her shoulder. He had estimated that Aidou was about to drop off at any time though. He had no idea how long Aidou had been awake before him, but he suspected he had stayed awake to watch out for Rido.

Eventually the girl got tired of him on her and unceremoniously dumped Aidou on the floor.

He squawked. Kain guffawed.

"I apologise, Aidou-san, my hands slipped and you fell," Seiren said, brushing her arms down casually. Aidou gaped at her, "Perhaps you should take some rest. I will stay here and watch over you,"

"That's a good idea, Hana. Sleep, you've done really well," Kain called, between chuckles.

Aidou huffed, but appreciated feeling safe with Seiren there. He hadn't been able to sleep well, knowing that Rido was possibly lurking around and Kain was locked in his cage. He curled up on the hard floor, rolling over to give Kain the finger, before rolling back into a more comfortable position to sleep.


	41. Hanadagi Castle PART 4

Kaname had to hold his own hand. His left hand felt empty without Zero's in it, so he grasped his own to fill its space. The comfort was petty, but he had to let Zero be. The Hunter was obdurately independent, _implacably_ self-sufficient, and he'd said he didn't want Kaname leading him around by the hand like some little kid. He _had_ wondered when Zero would give into his eminent fiery temper and rebuff his assistance. For quite a while, he had been shockingly compliant with being carried here and there by Kaname without much of a fuss (if he didn't count all the curses and death threats being muttered into his ears), but perhaps the hand-holding had been the last straw.

He listened for Zero's footsteps behind him, frowning as they stumbled and slowed every now and again, but he let him, respectfully allowing some space between them to ease Zero's mood. He was also testing the Bond's limits. Whilst he had held Zero close when he was carrying him, he could have imagined Bond purring like a cat, content with their proximity. The invisible collar had once again wound around his throat, but the leash was slack, and Kaname found he enjoyed the simultaneous feeling of their companionship and the tangible, comfortable weight of Zero on his back.

With them holding hands, the Bond simmered down, but he was still content. The contact was supportive to the Bond, but their hearts weren't pressed as close. Kaname knew that the Binding point of the Bond had never been the throat (though he always rubbed his neck when the Bond was pining), but the heart.

Now that they were apart, the hissing cat of the Bond was warning him to not let Zero get too far. But, as Zero had said before, the constraints were ridiculous. And Zero wanted his space. He estimated they were about ten yards apart. He could feel Zero's faint worry in the dark, but overriding that was his dogged determination to not show him his fear. He could respect that wish, yet he tried to slow his pace to match Zero's, knowing that his blood disease was weakening him.

A spark of concern ran through Kaname. Had he been foolish in bringing Zero here? Even though Zero had a gun, his hand's grip had felt incredibly weak in Kaname's (he ignored the possibility that Zero wasn't holding his hand back) and just _getting_ here had required Zero to be carried. He could remember during the last War, the days when Zero used to be able to run at the same punishing pace as the Vampires, for just as long without getting so tired. Was it wise to push Zero's body when it was already possibly _failing_?

He paused, sniffing the air.

The scent of Humans was overlapped many times, criss-crossed over junctions everywhere. Reading the trails was almost impossible. Every choice of where to turn was a pure guess. Kaname chose to stick to the straightest path he could. That way he could easily cover the ground, and then double back if it was wrong and take the next most likely route to go down.

But time was running out. He was constantly aware of his friends who were somewhere in the castle. He hoped that Rima had found them by now, because if she had then they could leave. Kaname was incredibly conscious that even though they had an army outside, ready to back them up if needed – right now they were only four people in the castle: three of which were weaker than was helpful (Kain, Aidou and Zero). The time between the army arriving and Rido killing any one of them would be too long, if it came down to them needing to call for them.

This mission was not for killing Rido. It was for rescuing his friends. That was their main goal.

However, Kaname found himself faced with an even worse situation than that.

He had to decide whether he could _not _help Nori – could he ignore a fellow Pureblood, in order to save his friends? The Hanadagi's were in deep danger right now, at the hands of Rido who could Wake them to do his bidding. That would put them at a _huge_ disadvantage. The Hanadagi clan was quite large, and to face so many of these old Purebloods would be… daunting. Even for Kaname – no, _especially _for Kaname, who would not only have to face his own kind in battle, but _friends._

On top of this, the _Humans_. He didn't even know if they were still in the castle anymore. The blood on Nori's lips had been fresh and Kaname could smell traces of blood everywhere, but it was impossible to tell. Kaname understood that leaving the Humans was not an option. They were the innocents in all of this. Kaname sniffed again, deciding that the current he wanted to follow turned left. But should he continue with his plan of going by the straightest path? He paused. The scent trail of Humans was strong here. He'd have to trust his instincts. It turned left. So Kaname did too.

The corridor was saturated with the stink of Human blood, everywhere. Kaname could pick a thousand different bloods in the air, all fresh, all overwhelmingly strong. He was almost sure he was coming to the place where the Humans had been Turned.

Kaname froze.

There were footsteps coming towards him.

He instinctively fumbled behind him for Zero, scowling as he couldn't find him. Perhaps that was a good thing, though. At least Zero might be safe from whoever this person was. Kaname flattened himself against the corridor, listening for the footsteps. He timed himself, holding his breath, before he pounced on them, wrestling their arms behind their back and pushing them face-first against the wall.

She gasped, the air shooting out of her as Kaname pressed her even harder the wall, and then she began to beg.

* * *

><p>It had only been a few minutes, when Kain began to feel the shackles on his ankles trembling, and not from his movements. His legs were numb. He hung like meat on a butcher's rack. It was only his head that he could move to follow Seiren as she paced the room. He tried to wiggle his toes, glancing down and smiling as he saw them move. The ice was only around the shackles now, his toes were free. He was so glad he didn't have frostbite after all this…<p>

But there was a cracking sound, louder this time.

Kain watched in disbelief as the shackles simply snapped open. And fell off.

Seiren had walked over due to the noise. She stared at his feet, which now dangled vertically and freely, instead of being pulled at an angle to the corners of the cage where the chains were shackled.

"Hana, wake up!" Kain yelled excitedly. He didn't know why it was happening, but he swung his legs enthusiastically, bending his knees and flexing his muscles, wincing at the cramp that erupted in his right calf (yet still enjoying _movement_). To Kain's delight, Seiren kicked ("_nudged_") Aidou awake. The blonde groaned, but rolled over at Kain's voice.

His blue eyes looked him over, widening when they landed on his feet, and Aidou leapt to his feet.

"What the hell?"

"Yeah! I don't know! It just came loose all of a sudden and broke open," Kain exclaimed, wiggling his toes gleefully. Aidou rubbed his head, shaking it.

"This hardly makes sense… and it's too early for this," he plopped back down to sleep, "You're confusing me, so I'm going back to sleep-"

"This isn't a friggin _dream_, Hana! My legs are free, and… look…" Kain glanced up at his wrists expectantly.

And similarly to the ankle shackles, his wrists snapped free.

Kain unfortunately crumpled onto the floor of his cage. His legs were _that _weak. He cursed, rubbing his sore limbs, but he could not get rid of the grin on his face, nor could he stop the cheer whooping out of his chest. Freedom of _movement_. Kain never knew he would miss being able to move so much, till he'd endured these past few hours. Being unable to move, unable to do _anything_… was terrifying.

Aidou was grinning too, reaching for him through the bars, "Un-friggin believable…"

He crawled over to him (finding the task much harder than he'd anticipated), eyes flitting to the cage bars every now and again. If the shackles were breaking, surely _they_ would too…

As Kain reached the bars, he delicately brushed his knuckles against them, and lo and behold, they crumbled apart.

It was the most bizarre feeling of excitement, joy and fear, as he passed the space where his cage bars had stood, stumbling right into Aidou's arms. Kain quickly drew him close, burying his face in Aidou's singed hair, barely aware of the tears that he rained on his shoulder. He clung to him like they had been separated for years.

Kain never knew that he would ever miss Aidou so much in his whole life like he had during the hours of imprisonment, and they had been in the same _room, _only a few feet apart and held in separate cages. Maybe it wasn't the physical distance, but the fact that they could only see, but not _hold_ (not _touch_) each other which had been so distressing. They really were almost joined at the hip, or at least, like Takuma sometimes said (like he could say for himself) – they made one person together.

You would be surprised to know that Kain was the more affectionate of the two. He loved poking fun at Aidou by ruffling his hair and pinching his cheeks. So he was the one who crushed Aidou tightly to him, with no concern to Aidou's ribcage, which had withstood many of these hugs in their time together.

Kain shuffled Aidou in his arms, so he was practically lying on top of him, since his dead legs prickled with pins-and-needles and he didn't want to move them much. Gently, he carded his fingers through Aidou's hair, hushing him with soft words. He heard Aidou mumble something.

"Hmm?" he hummed, nudging Aidou to speak louder.

"L… I…" he blushed, "Missed you," Aidou mumbled into his chest. Kain smiled warmly and kissed Aidou on the forehead, laughing inwardly as he squeaked.

"You're such a girl," he sniggered, immediately shooting an apologetic look at Seiren (who didn't look bothered in the slightest, if she was listening at all).

Aidou huffed, but only pinched him on the shoulder. Kain was thinking over what Aidou had almost said. "Love" was something he definitely felt for his cousin. He had loved Aidou from the moment he was born. The bundle of energetic joy was constantly crashing into his life, making a befuddling mess most of the time, but also making life interesting. Kain couldn't ever bring himself to hate Aidou. He was like a puppy, tumbling around, happily making a mess. How could you hate someone so wonderfully sincere?

Kain ignored the niggling feeling that he was taking too much from what Aidou had said. He ignored his flushed face and racing heart, and just clung to him, hoping the sound of Aidou's sobbing breaths could drown out the memory of what his mother had once said to him ("_You love that boy too much! It's not normal between two cousins…" _and then he had drowned her voice out with music). All he wanted right then was to keep Aidou by his side.

"Kat…Akatsuki, enough…let go now, we have to figure this out…"

Aidou patted his cousin tentatively, trembling from the force of Kain's hug and his annoyingly strong arms which refused to release him.

"You s-stupid oaf. You'll kill me… you're too strong. C'mon, I'm serious, let me breathe. Ka-"

Kain released him quickly, watching Aidou's face flood with colour as he leaned back and sucked in lungfuls of air so melodramatically, he rolled his eyes. He knew Aidou was embarrassed by his behaviour, and took pleasure in it.

"Now, tell me how the hell those shackles just came off. And the bars?"

Kain shrugged. "Hell if I know. They just trembled and broke. The bars split apart when I touched them,"

"Is it Rido-sama's doing?" Seiren asked.

"It could be," Aidou nodded. "Doesn't he have control over these cages? If he does, then he must have been the one to release us…"

"But why would he do that?" Kain asked.

"I don't know, maybe he's had enough of his '_game_'," Aidou said dryly, "Or maybe he doesn't want to come here and find an icicle and a barbecue,"

"So he thinks an icicle and a barbecue can walk out of here?" Kain drawled, garnering a wry grin from Aidou.

"Maybe Rido-sama wants you to go somewhere," Seiren suggested.

Aidou hummed thoughtfully. "It makes sense. I doubt he's done with the game. If he was, we'd know by now,"

"Well, the question is, should we go?" Kain glanced at the door. "And where _should _we go?"

_"Home, _maybe_? _Heck, I don't care if we should go or not, we _will_," and with that, Aidou dragged him up by his elbow and motioned Seiren to follow. The stink of burnt flesh was making him sick. Even if the corridor held more danger, he would at least appreciate the hopefully cleaner air.

* * *

><p>"Why did you struggle?"<p>

"I thought you were Rido!"

Kaname sighed, releasing Rima's wrists. He smiled at her apologetically, but that smile dropped as he saw what state she was in.

Rima's eyes were darting around the space suspiciously, as though she had seen something horrible that would not leave her mind. He grasped her arms, forcing a reassuring smile on his face as he tried to ground her in some sense of security. What had she seen? Had she come across Rido then?

His heart dropped. Had she'd seen Aidou and Kain?

In which case, he didn't want to ask, but he _had_ to.

"Did you find them?"

Rima stared at him blankly, he jostled her insistently. "Did you see them – Aidou and Kain, did you see them – Rima _speak!"_

She shook her head slowly, "No, I didn't find them. But I found…I saw the Hanadagi chambers. All the family… apart from Hanadagi Nori-sama, and his daughter, Kasumi… and… oh god, Kaname," Rima sobbed.

Kaname pulled her into a rough hug, too agitated to gentle himself, not that she minded. He was alarmed at Rima's tears. She was one of the most reserved people he knew, apart from Seiren. What had she seen that made her cry like this?

Kaname was also very conscious of the fact that he had still not heard Zero's footsteps behind him, and he could not see any sight of him in the shroud of darkness, even with his Pureblood vision he could not penetrate. Rima's fear instilled the true danger of the place to Kaname, which hadn't truly been real to him as of yet.

"What did you see?" he asked simply.

"Come with me," Rima urged, pitifully, like a child begging her parent to check for monsters, tugging him by the sleeve.

He glanced back at the empty corridor worriedly, begging Zero to appear out of the darkness, scowling and yapping about being left behind. But there was no one.

_Zero's alright. He_ has_ to be alright_, he assured himself, not allowing himself to even _dare _to think otherwise. He followed Rima further down the corridor, almost gagging as the stench of Human blood and other unmentionable fluids drowned his sensitive nose.


	42. Hanadagi Castle PART 5

Kain and Seiren looped Aidou's arms around their shoulders. His ice shoes allowed him to glide across the floor as they dragged him up the sloping ground, up the corridor, leaving behind the musty smell of the basement. Their eyes were constantly searching around for traps or guards, but luckily there were none. Things were getting edgier by the second, and Kain was fighting his instincts to go back to the room they had been in, where they could at least be safe away from the unknown. He wasn't a coward, or at least, he didn't like to think of himself as one. But he'd had enough near-death experiences in the last few hours to make him value life and safety a heck of a lot more.

_Not now,_ he told himself, _hold it together. Stay calm_. Right now they had to endure Rido's game plan, whatever it may entail. The bastard was the king of games and riddles, Kain had to admit. He didn't even know what the game was meant to be, or what the rules were. As far as he could tell, it was a mind game – testing whether you dared to follow your instincts in and risk potential danger, in the gamble to be brave and escape the sordid place. Rido expected them to go along with what they considered to be the best choice of actions. It made Kain uneasy. It meant that Rido was thinking from their point of view and anticipating what they would do next. He was playing with them, like a cat playing with its mice meal.

But there was nothing they could do. And there was no escape until Rido said so.

So Kain followed Seiren, his heart quickening with every step.

* * *

><p>Kaname stepped through the door after Rima, fighting his instinctive reflex to gag at the nauseating stench of Human blood. It was like stepping into a slaughterhouse. The smell made his eyes water and stomach clench. He could just imagine the hundreds of Humans brought here, divested of their Human life and forced into the night world of the Vampires as the lowest of the low, Level Es.<p>

Rima pointed at the centre of the room unnecessarily, since Kaname had already seen her.

A tiny body, a smear of blood on the floor. With the fact that glittering crystals were intermingled with the blood, Kaname could tell that she was a vampire, but not only that, she was a Pureblood. Only a child. So tiny, and fragile… Kaname averted his eyes. There was too much blood. Even after facing the War, he could not stomach the sight of this brutal, heartless murder of an innocent.

And he knew it was Kasumi. He'd met her briefly, a long time ago, when she was just the same as she was now. Sweet but shy, a little girl who hid behind her father's legs and shot curious looks at the adults during dinner conversation. They were too late for Nori's child.

And she had not deserved this.

He felt even sicker at the thought of how this would affect Nori. His little girl was dead, even after Rido held her as his bargain – it wasn't a surprise that Rido would use Nori's blindness to his advantage like this.

The room was bright enough, by the light of the waking sun drifting through the filmy net curtains, that he could see the colour of the walls. They were a mix of crusted browns, splashes of red and darker black underneath. Bloods, old dried and fresh newly spilt. The fresh… the fresh which came from…

His eyes drifted back to Kasumi's body. Glancing at Rima, he saw her also staring at the little girl.

_What had she done to deserve this?_

"I shut her eyes,"

Kaname looked at Rima's fingers, where dried blood crusted the tips.

He took her hand in silent comfort.

They bowed their heads in reverent silence.

And then the opposite door burst open.

* * *

><p>Zero blinked at the sudden light that seemed so bright, even though it was only speckled around the room. His eyes however, immediately zoned in on Kaname and Rima, who were stood above a body lying on the floor.<p>

"Ah, Kaname-kun, there you are," the mellow voice behind him spoke. Zero's hackles would've risen if he was a dog. He knew that voice. How had he mistaken it as Kaname's? Instantly he spun around, whipping his pistol in front of him. He ignored the fear that flared up in him and was glad to see his hands weren't quivering, concealing his jittering nerves. He levelled the muzzle to Rido's heart, amazed to see him alive again in the flesh. _He's really back. He's __**here**__… _seeing him there, feeling him under gunpoint, having _held his hand_ – Zero could not deny Rido's return was very _real_.

Up till now, a tiny part of him had always been in disbelief. He recalled seeing Kaname _kill_ him in the last War, but here he was.

"Whoa there, Hunter," Rido laughed.

Zero instantly flicked the latch off the safety.

"I really wouldn't do that if I were you,"

Kaname had been stunned to see Zero tumble through the opposite doorway, looking unharmed but disorientated from the dark and sorely confused to see him too. The boy then had an expression of betrayal and embarrassment as he faced Kaname, though his eyes also showed relief as he spotted him, as did Kaname's – he _was_ alright. He was so relieved Zero was safe.

But that relief vanished in the next moment, when Rido emerged behind him.

Rido gestured towards a third doorway, where two individual forms emerged from the dark exactly at that moment. Zero only allowed himself to flick glances briefly at the figures, keeping his gaze otherwise unmoving on Rido.

Even by one glance, Zero's eyes were not mistaken, and he was sure of it because he heard Kaname next confirm it. It really was _Yuuki and Nori_ joining them, and though he was aware Yuuki was a hostage, bound by Nori's tight grip on her arms, he comforted himself knowing she looked otherwise unharmed.

"Yuuki!" Kaname exclaimed, moving towards his sister.

Rido shook his head, casually flicking his finger at him, sending Kaname sliding back to his initial place.

To their horror, Kaname and Zero watched their beloved girl hanging limply in Nori's hold. Even worse – Nori had his overgrown talons poised at her throat. She looked so fragile in his hold that they both felt fiery anger building up inside them. Nori had betrayed them once more.

As the two of them came more into the light, they also saw that Yuuki was spattered in blood, and Zero's heart clenched tight in fear. Kaname however was guiltily grateful that he could smell it wasn't _her_ blood spattered on her, but Kasumi's. Her eyes were wide and empty. Kaname yearned to hold her, to comfort her. The horrors of what she must have seen dawned on him as his mind made the connection from the blood spattered on her to the fact that she was unharmed and yet Kasumi was a bloody mess on the floor –

Oh god. _She had been _made_ to watch_.

Yuuki's gaze fell on Kasumi's body. They didn't flinch. They didn't waver. She simply stared at the bloody body, blank, unseeing. She had detached herself from reality the moment she'd seen Rido's fangs tear into the girl's flesh, his hand muffling her screams as he drained her to a slow, agonising death, scratching at her with his claws whenever she struggled. Yuuki remembered numbly the invisible hands holding her in place, such a _strong_ grip that she was unable to move even an eyelid. She couldn't close her eyes, or tear away from watching the gruesome scene playing out in front of her, and all the time – Rido watched her with laughter in his eyes.

_She had been made to watch_…

"Nori, have you got… ah good. Yes. You've got her," Rido drawled.

"I've brought her, Rido-sama, just as you asked," Nori said, blindly dragging Yuuki to him.

"Don't come any closer, Nori. Stay there, keep her just there, okay? Good man," Rido said, and Nori obediently remained where he was, tightening his hold on Yuuki.

Rido turned back to Zero, quirking his lips in a smug smirk.

"Do you understand what's happening? If you pull the trigger, her throat will be cut – Pureblood to Pureblood, she _**dies**_. _I__f you hear a bullet, __**Nori**__?"_

"I slit her throat," Nori answered monotonously.

Kaname growled, shifting on his feet restlessly. He knew that if _he_ moved too, Rido would no doubt order Nori to do the same. There was also the incredibly likely possibility that Rido would use his Pureblood speed against Kaname's if he tried to get Yuuki that way. If that happened, it would all be up to chance on how the results turned out, and for Kaname, the risks of that outcome were too great to gamble with.

"Nori! What the hell are you doing?" he snapped. Flinching as his milky eyes turned in his direction, seemingly bland to the seriousness of the situation by their indifferent, unfocused gaze.

"Kaname?" Nori asked, his tone was however, completely surprised.

"Do you know who you hold in your hands? That is my _sister_, Nori! _Yuuki_!"

Nori almost released Yuuki in shock, Kaname _saw_ him twitch, but then he regained a hold on her a second later.

"Kaname, I'm sorry, but he has my little girl," he begged, "It's her life for Kasumi's, do you see? So can you blame me?"

No, Kaname could not blame him. If he were in Nori's place, he would've done exactly the same thing. But the fact stood that Kasumi was dead and –

It hit Kaname.

_Nori doesn't know_.

He couldn't see his daughter's broken body lying on the floor _right in front of him_. He didn't know she was already dead. Kaname didn't know why he couldn't smell her blood (which was _everywhere_), but it could be Rido's mind control influence, making him believe it wasn't hers.

It broke his heart to tell him, but he _had_ to know. Then he might release Yuuki. Then Rido wouldn't have the upper hand.

"She's dead, Nori," he said gravely. "I'm sorry,"

He watched Nori's face contort in pain and rage, flinching as his fingers tightened on Yuuki and she let out a small whimper.

"You're just saying that!" Nori roared, "Don't think I don't know you, Kaname. We may not know each other well, but it doesn't take that for me to know you'd play a trick on me to save your sister! I'm not naïve, Kaname. I'd rather err on the side of caution,"

Kaname's heart raced. Couldn't Nori tell he was saying the truth? How could he convince him? The man was being told his daughter was dead. He was in denial. He wouldn't believe him.

"He's playing you!" Kaname roared, "Listen to me, my friend! He's lying to you. Why would **I** lie to you? I don't want you to be tricked by him, so I'm telling you – he's already done it. He's pretending so you'll do as he says," not that Nori _could _go against Rido's orders anyway, since he was his Master.

Nori collapsed on his knees, dragging Yuuki down with him, sobbing.

"Does it matter if I believe you, Kaname? Even if my child is dead, I have the whole of my family sleeping in this castle. If I don't listen to him, he will kill _all_ of them. What choice do I have? What can I -"

"He _won't_, I won't let him!"

But Kaname knew it was a lost cause. Just as he was not willing to gamble with the risk of rescuing Yuuki himself against Rido's speed; Nori was unwilling to gamble his family's lives over what he perceived to be a small chance that Kaname might succeed against Rido. The stakes were just too high for both of them to be willing to compromise anything.

* * *

><p>Aidou blinked at the brightening light as they approached the end of the corridor. Kain had propped him up against the wall, helping Seiren push open the stiff door. He could already smell a stench that made his skin crawl. His nose was always more sensitive than Kain's, and it as telling him to ask them not to open the door. He had the feeling that they would find something terrible behind it.<p>

But the door was opened, and the three of them went in.

"Oh good, you've come at last. Please, do join us. Go stand beside your King. You've just made it for the show,"

Aidou recoiled at the smell, and the voice, and the scene -

What the fuck was happening?

* * *

><p>Kaname felt his friends join him at his side, but kept his eyes on Rido's. He smelt Aidou's singed hair, and burnt flesh, and Kain clapped him on the shoulder, letting him know they were alright.<p>

In the next second, Zero found his pistol ripped from his hands. Before he could even gasp, Rido had disintegrated the pistol, smiling at Zero amusedly. He then held out his hand to Zero, wriggling his fingers derisively.

"Come," he demanded.

Zero eyed Rido's hand, the long talon-like nails curving over each fingertip, yellowed and stained with things he didn't want to imagine. He didn't dare think what Rido had done with his hands. And to think that he had mistaken it for Kaname's! How was that possible?

But then his eyes flickered over to Yuuki, listless and unresponsive in Nori's arms, with Nori's claws still poised to kill.

"Hunter, do you want to find out how well I can imitate a gunshot?"

From the corner of his eyes, Nori's hand quivered.

He took Rido's hand.

Rido laughed triumphantly and swung Zero around so his right hand was held in his. His other arm slid around Zero's waist so he was secured to him, and now there was no escape.

In this way, he led Zero over to the window side of the room. Zero pushed forwards against Rido's arm around his ribcage which unfortunately pressed him against his chest, with him breathing next to his ear. Zero could smell fresh blood on Rido's breath, which made his stomach even queasier.

Rido forced Zero down onto the throne seat which was placed facing away from the windows, so he now had a central view of the room, with Kaname and the others on one side, and Yuuki and Nori on the other.

"Sit, Hunter. Admire the view, imagine watching those Humans come into this room. They wait in lines over there. One by one, they come to join the better life by my munificent hand," Rido purred into his ear, "Here I have the best view in the house, so to speak,"

It suddenly occurred to Zero where they were. It was the ballroom of the Hanadagi castle – the place where royalty such as Kaname would be entertained by dances, and celebrations would be held, transformed into a Human slaughterhouse. Rido walked around the throne, trailing his fingers over the woodwork unbearably close to the back of Zero's neck, he moved to Zero's right side, "How does it feel then?"

"Just what do you want, you fucking psycho?" he snarled, leaning forwards in the throne to show Rido how little he feared him.

Rido slammed his hands on the armrests of the throne, looming over Zero and caging him to the seat.

"What do I want?" he sneered, "It's quite simple. I want you to see everything. I want you to understand everything you've_done__. _Maybe then you might really be able to muster true _hate_ for your King – hate that surpasses any petty semblance of it you might've felt in your life. Maybe then you will then know why this war – everything – it all comes down to _you,"_


	43. Hanadagi Castle PART 6

Rido strode along the platform floor, arms swaying like show-business – like a circus ringleader. He relished in the attention he received, bearing a wide toothy smile when he caught Kaname's eye especially.

Finally Zero spoke.

"What have I done?"

"What have you done?" Rido imitated in a mocking falsetto voice, "You are the _reason_ for the war that is about to take place, did you know that?"

Zero shrank back in his seat.

What did Rido mean?

He turned his gaze on Kaname, questioning him with his eyes, but he looked like he was concentrating on remembering something with his eyes glazed over in thought. Zero bit his lip. It felt like Rido had just dropped the weight of the world's problems on him. In a way, he _had. _How could he have started _war_? His mind drifted to the Bond – by now he knew that most of the vampire population knew there was a strange Hunter who drank their King's sacred blood. But could this have instigated _war_?

From what they knew, it was unlikely. The War wasn't between the _Vampires_ and Kaname (except for those Vampires who had joined Rido's side of course). It was between Rido and Kaname. So in what way might the Bond anger Rido so much to provoke war? It didn't make sense.

"I don't understand,"

"It would be my pleasure to explain it to you, dear Hunter," Rido purred, dropping to one knee, "That's what we are here for," Zero flinched as he took his hand again and pressed his sharp nail against his thumb, till blood welled out of the wound. "Everything about you, your very existence, has activated this war. The fact that you are here on this very day, has activated the war. Your Bond to my darling nephew over there – yes, I know about _that_ –has activated the war too,"

He stood again, walking over to the windows, and taking something from the window sill. The brightness from the morning sun was almost blinding so could not see what it was that Rido brought, until it was in front of him. Even then, it took a little time for him to recognise what it was.

He frowned.

It was the Rose Shield.

"When did you…"

"The security on Kuran Castle is absolutely abysmal, Kaname," Rido drawled, placing the Rose Shield on Zero's lap, "I actually took this on the night of your Coronation, but did anyone notice? No. It was easy as pie,"

"We've been rather busy, Rido," Kaname said through clenched teeth. He was outraged that Rido somehow managed to acquire the precious Rose Shield without even being noticed. How had the servants not noticed? He wouldn't put it past Rido to have made a decoy of some sort, or even to have obliterated the memory of such a precious relic's kidnap from the minds of everyone.

Zero balanced the Shield on his knees, amazed to find the same water (as far as he could tell) in it. The Shield was small, barely the size of a dinner plate, and it had intricate metal rose details all over it, with a rose's jagged edged leaves surrounding the base. Its shallow curve rested easily between his knees, and was that his imagination or was it _moulding_ to the shape of his legs?

He numbly allowed Rido to dip his bloody thumb in the water, watching the red colour diffuse away into the water without a trace.

"A little drop will do," Rido whispered, taking his thumb back out, the wound still oozed blood.

Rido descended the platform, heading towards Kaname, "And now yours,"

Kaname's eyes widened as he comprehended Rido's actions. He shook his head furiously, jerking backwards as his uncle appeared mere centimetres away from him.

"No!" he bellowed, Zero was amazed to hear the panic in his voice.

"_Yes_, Kaname," Rido scorned, "He has a right to know. And then he'll know everything. Let him make his own judgements, boy. He has to see things in his own perspective without you meddling around with his feelings,"

"He can't, please, I'm begging you-"

"For _her_ life?" Rido motioned towards Yuuki, "You would give her life, just so he doesn't see what memories should have already been returned to him by now? What sick freak keeps a person's past from them!" he said in mock-disgust.

"Kaname?" Zero called quietly, rising in his seat. He ignored Rido motioning him back down, his entire mind focused on what Rido had just said, and his eyes searching Kaname's for the truth. What was this "_past"_ Rido spoke of? And what was he saying about Kaname hiding it from him?

"Zero, you _don't_ want to know! Please, just pour the water out," Kaname begged.

Zero looked down at the Shield. He remembered Shiki telling him what it did.

"_Supposedly the water shows Kaname the future difficulties he will face, and by drinking, he has accepted the challenge"_

If the Rose Shield could show the future, from the way they were reacting to it, theoretically… would it not also show the past? He studied the carvings, the crystal clear water, wondering what secrets they might show him – his past...

He hated to agree with what Rido said, but his past, his _memories_ were his own. What right did Kaname have to keep them from him? Did his past hold a terrible secret? What could Kaname have to do with his past?

_Please, just pour the water out_.

Why was Kaname so desperate to stop him from seeing his past?

He turned to see Rido watching him, smirking at him, _knowing_. He hadn't cut Kaname yet, as he waited for Zero's permission. He was goading Zero, but Zero couldn't help but want to take the bait. This was _his_ past. Surely he should know it. Even if he was betraying Kaname by asking him to listen to Rido, he felt like Kaname had already betrayed him for keeping his past a secret. This was Rido's game with them – to incite Zero's interest to the point where his temptation was dominating him, especially after his opinion of Kaname soured from him apparently breaching his trust by withholding his past from him.

"Give it to him, Kaname," he said, his voice cracking when he met Kaname's pleading stare impassively. He was amazed to find that he _hated _seeing Kaname with _that look_ on his face – one of complete and utter horror. But more than that, he told himself, he hated that Kaname had been _lying _to him all this time – sure, before they became friends he understood Kaname might've been less willing to approach him with his _past_, but _still…_

It upset Zero because he honestly expected _more _from Kaname – he expected that, as a "gentleman", Kaname would have the decency to breach their hostile pre-friendship relationship and deliver his past to him.

"No, Zero, _please-_"

"You heard him," Rido sneered, slashing Kaname so fast, he couldn't stop him. Kaname made to stop Rido getting back to Zero, but Rido simply said Yuuki's name and he froze. He stopped, but Zero's eyes lingered over the pained expression on Kaname's face. He looked positively miserable, like he had lost what he held most dear to him. When Kaname turned to meet his gaze with beseeching eyes, Zero had to avert his gaze. It was so incredibly _intense _that he was determined not to be swayed. He _couldn't_ give in to him.

"They're only memories, Kaname" Zero murmured. Kaname shook his head.

"Why are you doing this, Rido?" he howled.

Rido raised his eyebrow, "_Why_, Kaname? Because I _want_ Zero-chan to learn about his past. It's _his _so he should know it , don't you think? Then we'll all be on a level playing field and it will be fairer, don't you think?"

He hopped back onto the platform, dipping his nail into the water and stirring it slowly.

"Go on, Zero-chan, drink it. It's only water,"

Zero lifted the Shield, sparing one last glance at Kaname's desperate face. Kaname looked was mouthing "_Please_" over and over again. Zero had ever seen him like this before, with his eyes staring back at him so mournfully anxious that Zero had to pause and consider what he was doing.

He was listening to Rido's advice. He was disobeying Kaname.

But this was his _past_. And Kaname had had no right to keep it from him, no matter what. It didn't even matter that Rido wanted him to see it. It was all about him. _His_ past.

Zero tried to convince himself he was doing the right thing.

"Kaname, tell me why I shouldn't drink this. Give me _one_ reason not to,"

"_Please_, Zero," Kaname begged. Zero tried to get over the fact that he had never heard him, or anyone beg like this before – like their life was at stake, "If you see them… you'll hate me forever. **I'm begging you…"**

_You'll hate me forever_.

The words stung Zero. He contemplated that statement, but couldn't find any weight in it. Zero was certainly the type to hold a grudge, but these were memories he couldn't even _remember_. If he couldn't remember them, they had to be fickle little _easily forgotten _things. It didn't make sense to him. How could memories _change _anything? Kaname was being ridiculous, and anyway, if he reverted to hating Kaname again, then he'd know they'd tried at least – they'd made an effort to be friends, but it just wasn't meant to be.

He lifted the Rose Shield to his lips, ignoring Kaname's desperate pleas, the others' voices also joining in...

As the bowl touched his lips, he heard Kaname scream at Rima to do…_something_…


	44. MEMORY: The Beginning of Vampires PART 1

**Author's note:**

**Guys, from here it's all my own writing (not that it hasn't been my own writing before…). What I mean by this is that it's going AU. My version. My telling of the history in VK. **

**I've picked out details from Himaruya's work, but most of this will be **_**me**_**.**

**Also, this chapter starts quite slow, but I only wrote it this way because I want to emphasise the slow process of Kaname discovering himself- argh, SPOILER. No. I can't give away spoilers before you read this. Damn.**

**Ok, just take note that THIS CHAPTER IS SLOW. But it is important, as always. **

**Also, Kaname may seem quite OOC. That is because he is new to everything. Time changes people, guys. He hasn't been through anything yet, so he may seem quite juvenile and naïve compared to how he usually is.**

**Kk, enjoy guys!**

* * *

><p><strong><em>"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from indomitable will."<em>**

**_~ Mahatma Gandhi_**

* * *

><p>Embers darkened the sky, thickening the air as they cooled and became heavier ash which rained on the ground. They made the sky red-tinged, with great black clouds of fire smoke prowling the skies, trailing monstrous shadows below them across the landscape. The one proud cluster of buildings was now in shambles, none taller or sturdier than a beach-hut. It felt like everything was bare and exposed – there were no hiding places, nowhere they could go to escape the judgement day. It was like the very skin of the world had been stripped from its flesh and the delicate soft tissues were spilling out of the gaping wound, the Earth unravelling from the simple motion of with every day's rotation.<p>

It looked like they were standing at the very end of things.

_But at every end, there must be a new beginning._

The Human race had finally stopped screaming, yet the Vampires still woke with ringing in their ears.

They smelt the Earth which ran rich with blood and fell in love with their new home. Amongst the chaos, there was so much potential for a new world. They were primed for life in the dark and dreary world left behind, with their strong bodies, and their tastes for the darkness.

One such Vampire stood in the dark, staring out at the world and wondering what had Woken him.

It looked empty all around as far as the eye could see. Only a few animals had survived the disaster, and they mostly remained hidden in the charred forests. The smell of soot coated his throat, yet he still lifted his head and tried to sniff out anyone else in the vicinity.

There _had_ to be someone else. A world could not exist only for one.

He wandered, and looked but did not touch anything he saw. There was a distinctive detachment he felt to his surroundings. Unlike the other Vampires that Woke, he smelt the blood-saturated ground and thought that it was "_too strong"_, finding the squelch of it under his feet very strange and not altogether _pleasant_. With every step, his weight squeezed the red moisture out of the ground. It didn't manage to tempt him, but instead made him wonder who the people were who had stained the soil so red.

Eventually, he became sick of seeing the same things around him again and again. Red soil, burning sky, broken empty buildings. What purpose was there for him to Wake in an empty, soulless world like this? Was he supposed to repair it? Was he meant to salvage what was left behind from what appeared to be another world's bloody Armageddon?

He tilted his head to ponder the big black clouds patrolling the skies like giant ghosts, contemplating a life in this dreary place. Already he was tired of it. Already he mourned a race he didn't know, simply because traces of them lay everywhere he looked. He felt like he knew them, from walking through their open homes and following their splintered roads. He could imagine their last moments looking up, only to see the sky erupting into flames.

How terrified they must have been.

He watched the clouds until the sky also darkened to inky black, and for the first time, he appreciated perfection in the completely black, velvet sky. In the darkness, he could see nothing, not the scars of the land, the redness of the soil, or the clusters of ghost-houses. It was all hidden away, and he could see _now, _that if the world was so perfect like this, its potential was magnified. In the darkness he smiled.

And then the black cloud passed.

And the moon appeared.

* * *

><p>He opened his eyes as he heard something crunching, snivelling, the sound of rocks cracking and a <em>voice<em>. The sounds came closer, but he felt no need to move. Even though the thought that there _were _others inhabiting this world with him _thrilled _him to bits, he tried not to get his hopes up too much. They would find him, and then he'd see what they wanted with him.

And like he had expected, he felt a creature nudge his knee wetly and something slimy coat his skin from it.

He sat up.

In the moonlight he saw what he thought was a beast. But it invoked no fear in him, and its eyes were intelligent and dark like glassy mirrors, reflecting his curious face back to him – he stared at his own face for the first time in its reflection and smiled. The beast was friendly with its wet nose was pressed on his knee, its tender, accommodating stare and, then he saw the woman who rode on its back.

She slid off the side of it gracefully and knelt before Kaname, causing him to redden bashfully.

Her eyes were large and a startling shade of red, _like the soil_, he mused, but glittering like finely cut gems. Her hair was long, and she covered her head with a hood. Even though he had as of yet had no comparison, he thought she was beautiful. He said so.

She laughed, and he felt an immediate attachment to her voice, which was sweet and sincere, and also the first voice he had heard as of yet.

"Are you like me?" he asked, reaching out towards her. She kindly gave him her hands to hold, rubbing her thumbs on his knuckles in a soothing gesture.

"Yes, but not exactly the same," she answered. "I am a woman, you see? But we are of the same race of this new world,"

"What are we?"

"Vampires," she explained with a grin, "We are the end of the Humans, the beginning of a new age,"

"What are Vampires? What are Humans?"

She patiently told him their differences to this dead Human race. They were apparently faster, stronger, braver. They lived for longer and drank the blood of others. He reached up and felt for his own fangs, hidden among his teeth. He did not quite understand why he had them, but all that he needed to know was that these fangs made him not Human. They were for drinking blood.

"Come with me," she urged, pulling him onto his feet. "I have so much to show you, there are people like us everywhere! I've seen them rising all over the land!"

He hesitated, gently pulling back from her hold. He couldn't explain it. There was for some reason, a _duty_ he felt to the land he had woken up in. Even though, only moments ago, he had dreaded the thought of living in its hostile, lonely barrenness, he suddenly felt a reluctance to leaving it. He didn't know how to explain it to her. There was something keeping him _here_. Something telling him he needed to stay.

"Why don't you want to come?" she asked. He hated the questioning hurt in her voice, and was afraid he had offended her.

"I cannot come. This is… This place is my home," he replied, the last word sounding strange on his tongue.

She laughed again, "Do you even know _where_ you are? This is not a village. This is wilderness. There _was_ a village miles over _there_," she said pointing over his shoulder, in the darkness. "But it's not even there anymore,"

"What was it called?"

"Kaname, I think,"

"Then… I am Kaname,"

The woman raised her brow, but he insisted he was Kaname, of the village named Kaname. It only sounded slightly ridiculous, but he _needed_ a name.

"Well then… _Kaname_, why won't you come with me? There is nothing left for you here,"

"There is," he protested, not knowing where this compulsion to argue with her came from.

Again, she raised her brow, this time in disbelief.

"Fine. If you insist," she shrugged, moving towards her beast. Kaname felt a spark of panic race through him as she climbed up on its back, fearing he had offended her. He quickly caught her hand.

"You don't have to leave. You can stay here with me,"

She smiled, touching his face with her lips, but then shook her head.

"I have no desire to stay here. I want to find our people. It's too big a world to live in alone. Did you see the land? There is more of it, way beyond what you saw – there is so _much_ to see,"

"But you'll be leaving me," Kaname whispered. Though they had only met, the connection between them was already breaking, and it scared him. The fear and loneliness of being left the only person in this land bore down on him. The once perfect, peaceful night time was now devastatingly void.

"Yes, but I will be back for you sooner or later. Somehow, Kaname, I will convince you to join us," she swore, leaning forwards again to press her lips to his forehead, "I will not forget you," She then climbed swiftly onto her beast and nudged its hide with her knees, urging it to trot away into the consuming darkness.

Kaname for the first time, felt the cold.

He sat in the dirt and waited for the sun to rise again.

* * *

><p>Kaname decided to walk to the village he had named himself by, even though the woman had warned him it was no more, he felt like it was the best place to go to. There was nowhere else he to go to, and now when he had started to regret not joining the woman before, he didn't know which direction she had gone, so he had no choice but to find his way in life on his own.<p>

He walked with his back to the sun, not understanding the pain he felt on his back and shoulders. Why was it so painful? He'd only been walking for a couple of miles. When he felt his back, there were blisters everywhere. Kaname decided then that he needed a break from the sun. It had seemed like a good idea the night before to embrace the warmth, but since daylight hurt his eyes… he found it easier to see in the dark.

He broke away from the dirt path, going to hide in the shade of the trees, even though their skeletal remains barely sheltered him at all and only dappled the light. Kaname continued off-road, going deeper into the "forest", seeking some shade. There was no relief from the hot sun. He stumbled along blindly, but then the land began to slope.

And bad luck caused Kaname to lose his footing and tumble down the rest of the way, hitting every bump on the land painfully with pinpoint accuracy, until the ground levelled to a stop.

He groaned, dragging himself up. He was completely battered, and _still_ in the sun. Was there no mercy in this land? It was his rotten luck that the lands were harsh and barren, and even the _weather_ had to be ruthless too. He kicked a rock in anger, and then decided to continue along the flat lowland, since it formed the most natural route for him. Walking along it, he looked along the new path he was taking, amazed that it _was_ in fact a path (a very rough path, barely anything more than a track where many feet had beaten the vegetation down) which ran through a pass. It led up to two large mounds, two _mountains_, which provided **shade**.

He hurried towards it, seeing it as an oasis in a desert – sanctuary from the beastly sun.

Kaname sighed blissfully as the shadow of the mountain fell over him. Immediately the coolness seeped into his skin and he shuddered, but relished its soothing quality. Yes, he _definitely_ preferred darkness and shade to sunlight. Instantly he felt refreshed and ready to explore some more, but when he glanced at the divide between sunlight and shadow – the border just a few feet beside him, he remembered how the sun had burnt him. Maybe he would stick to the shade for now. He might wait for the sun to set a little before heading to the village.

He eyed the mountains on either side of him. They were both smooth, both perfectly round and tall – Twin Mountains in every way. He couldn't choose which one would be better to investigate, since they looked the same. But the left one, the one that connected with that _awful slope_, with the burnt forest clothing it… it had the most _interesting_ ambience.

He decided to explore this one, turning to walk along the left side of the pass. To his delight, there were many exposed areas of rock on the mountain sides where parts of the rock face had fallen and exposed cracks, and _caves_. Caves. He liked the idea of caves. Caves were _cool_. His back was still raw and stung when he moved, and scabs and skin kept splitting open. Maybe he could rest in a cave for a while if he found one.

Kaname ran his hands along the exposed rock face, sometimes poking his arms down the cracks and notches to see how far he could squeeze himself through. They were all too narrow though, and he couldn't squeeze anything larger than his arm length into them.

Then came the inevitable.

Kaname poked his arm through a crack that he liked, that he thought it had to be a cave (for whatever reason his exhausted, dehydrated mind had conjured up). He was _determined_ to fit his arm in it, at _least_ to the elbow, if not further. He didn't know _why_ he wanted to fit his arm through. Maybe it was the frustration he felt that he had not yet found the cave he wanted. He believed he could get his forearm to fit in_ at least_. At _least._

Kaname squeezed his fingers together, flattening his hand so it could squeeze further. He wriggled his hand through the space, grunting as his knuckles just managed to pop through. Then his palm managed to squeeze in, though he struggled with the fleshy width of his thumb joint. Kaname was determined to get his wrist and forearm through, and because they were smooth without joints to be awkwardly accommodated, so he managed to get them in too.

But there came the dilemma.

Kaname was so pleased that he had managed to get his arm in the crack up to his elbow. In a silly way, he felt accomplished. It was a game. He had won his goal. But after all the painful pushing and twisting, he hadn't thought ahead to how the hell he was going to get his arm _out_ of the rock face later.

He groaned, with his cheeks flushing hotly. He was stuck. How absolutely humiliating. How had he managed to get into the cave, and not be able to get _out_ of it? He cursed loudly. He swore with words he didn't even think _were _swear words, so they came out more like strange strangled, guttural howls. It was like climbing down from climbing up a particularly difficult tree. Ambition managed to find a way _into_ the cave, but foolishness forgot the way out.

How utterly _stupid_.

He tugged on his arm roughly, biting his lips when the rough rock scratched his skin raw.

"Come on!" he growled, "Let go, let go, let _go_!"

Kaname almost wet himself in fright when he heard the sound of a burst of loud, explosive _laughter_.

His heart leapt to his throat. Was it the woman?

But no, it _couldn't_ be. Her voice was soft and gentle, not brash like this irritating laughter. Her laughter didn't make his face colour with humiliation. Kaname whipped his head around, looking for who it was who _dared_ laugh at him.

His eyes landed on a young boy, only around five or six, rolling on the path amidst vivacious, and entirely too amused laughter. Anger flared his nostrils and he twisted his neck so he could glare over his shoulder at him. The boy was tiny, scrawny and covered in dirt (probably from rolling around on the dirt path). Kaname sneered at his appearance, ignoring how ridiculous _he _must look. _What a dirty little rascal_, he thought, narrowing his eyes to slits.

"It's not funny," he snapped.

The boy glanced up at him, raised an eyebrow and snorted, and then continued to roll around chortling.

"Enough. There is absolutely nothing funny about this situation," Kaname said sharply, narrowing his eyes further, "I could be trapped here for days and die. It would be on your own conscience that you did not prevent it,"

"Oh really?" the boy giggled, "Why would it? **I** didn't ask you to put your hand in there. _You_ got yourself stuck, mister,"

Kaname growled, yanking on his arm. He glowered at the mirthful boy, but eventually after minutes of listening to the continuous merry sound, he realised it wouldn't be stopping any time soon, so he'd better calm down. As he got his temper under control, he realised something _wonderful, _his silver lining. He _wasn't_ alone anymore.

This boy… wasn't exactly the help Kaname had wanted, or the company he'd expected or wanted, but he was there with him, and in the end that was all that mattered. He patiently waited for the boy to stop laughing, not bothered anymore by its brazen sound. He just wanted him to stop. It occurred to him that he would have to win the boy over to get his help.

"Young man? Young man, please, I require your help, if you would be so kind…" Kaname said, gentling his voice to appeal to the young boy.

The boy sniffed back his laughing tears, rubbing his already dirty face. "You need my help, huh?"

"I do," Kaname nodded. "It was rather silly of me to get myself stuck here, but now that I am, I really need some help to get out,"

He resisted the urge to roll his eyes when the boy chuckled again.

"My mama said never to speak to strangers, but you can't hurt me from there, can you?" the boy jeered. Kaname frowned, wondering what sort of advice this was, accusing strangers of being dangerous without them having done anything first. Was that the way the boy would approach the world? With caution and silence? Wasn't that far more dangerous?

He shook his head, realising he was reading too far into this speculation. The heat must really be getting to him.

"I promise you, even if you free me I won't harm you,"

The boy grinned, "What, you're some sort of genie that will grant me some wishes if I get you free?"

Kaname was completely confused. It must have shown on his face because the boy broke into new peals of laughter.

"Enough!" Kaname roared, though his demand barely had any effect on the boy, "Stop laughing at once! This is a serious matter, and _you_ are the only one who can help me!"

This seemed to have caught the boy's attention, because he finally calmed down, wiping his face again and ambling over to him. Kaname again resisted rolling his eyes when he figured it must've appealed to the boy to play "hero" for him. When the boy reached his side, Kaname realised exactly how _little_ the boy was. He barely reached Kaname's hip.

This made Kaname doubtful… how the hell was he going to get out of this damn rock face with someone so little to help him?

"…Young man, perhaps you could go call your mother or father to help me. I mean, you're… well you're a little small -"

"Small? _S__mall?_" the boy squawked, completely outraged. Kaname frantically backpedalled, realising he had somehow offended him, and this was _not _the right way to go to get freed.

"Oh, I meant no offence, young man. I only wanted to point out-"

"Who're you calling 'young man' you old coot? You're barely older than my _sister_, and she isn't even _married_ yet!" the boy yelled. Clearly age mattered a great deal to him. "…_ small_, he says…" the boy grumbled, scrambling even closer to Kaname's side.

Kaname was amazed the boy hadn't stormed off since he looked quite put out already, and he had come closer to examine the exposed part of Kaname's arm.

"Listen here, old coot," the boy sneered, "Even with someone _bigger_ than me, they would be no help. You have to get out of this yourself, that is the only way,"

"Such helpful advice, thank you," Kaname said deprecatingly, peering down at the boy's scrunched up face. He was still examining his arm intently.

"Do you remember how you got it in? Maybe if you twist it or something, it will slide better through,"

Kaname nodded at the _helpful_ advice, doing as the boy suggested and twisting his wrist to the right, and then to the left. Both turn didn't do much apart from rub his skin hard against the rock, and now he could smell his blood as his thumb caught on a sharp edge which was just plain distracting.

"Don't _just_ twist it," the boy groaned, "You have to tug it a little bit with each turn, otherwise you won't know if it's working,"

Kaname nodded again, concentrating as he twisted and tugged, twisted and tugged…. His frustration built up quickly though as he couldn't _feel _anything, or see where the rock bent and narrowed. If only he could _see_ what he was doing, then he could get free.

"Come on, pull!" the boy urged, shimmying up a few rock ledges on the outside rock face, so he could reach Kaname's arm. His little hands grabbed hold of Kaname's bicep tightly and attempted to guide him through the tugs. Kaname obediently braced his other hand on the wall so he could tug harder, twisting simultaneously. His arm ached at the shoulder from the pulling, and his hand felt so scraped that it just _hurt so much_.

He gave an almighty yank, just as the boy did too.

They heard a popping sound, a cracking sound, and pain erupted up Kaname's arm.

He swore loudly, tears swimming up into his eyes. The boy gasped, immediately letting go of his arm as though it were a hot pan and he spluttered apologies rapidly. Clearly he knew that something bad had happened, and that Kaname might be angry at him for it. Kaname was hardly angry at _him _though. He was angry at himself for getting in such a stupid _mess._

"Oh god, I'm sorry, I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to-"

"Be quiet," Kaname huffed, "Take my arm again. We'll pull once more. It doesn't matter. Just pull _really_ hard, understand? This will be the last one, I think. One, two, _three_…"

They both threw all their weight backwards, both gripping Kaname's limp arm.

And the fell backwards, on the hard floor together.

The pain was sickening, but Kaname felt also dizzy and numb and elated. He laughed feverishly, grinning at the boy triumphantly. He was _free_ again. His arm was completely bent wrong, but he was free.

The boy didn't join in with his laughter. His eyes were fixed on Kaname's arm and his lip was quivering. Kaname instantly sobered. The boy was upset that he had hurt him. He instinctively wanted to comfort him, but found himself awkward with the action of _giving_ _comfort_. Should he hold the boy, with his one good arm? The boy had already said he was not comfortable around strangers, so…

"Hey, it's alright now," Kaname cooed, clumsily patting him on the shoulder, "You got me out. You helped me. I'm really grateful for it,"

Still, the boy's conscience must've been greater than Kaname had expected, because to his horror, he began to whimper.

"Did I break it? It looks wrong…"

"No, no, it's alright, see?" Kaname insisted, forcing himself to look at his mangled arm and still smile. He hesitated before reaching for his bicep, finding an even more blinding pain erupt when he touched it, but he persisted, desperate to stop the boy from crying. He didn't know how to handle crying children… "Look, I'll fix it, I'll fix it. _Look,_" he begged, not finding it the least bit strange that _he _was the one comforting the child when _he _was the one injured.

He had to do it quickly. Then it would be over.

He grabbed his limp arm, yanking it outwards and then jerking it in.

Kaname howled. The boy shrieked. But then Kaname forced himself to laugh, slightly hysterically and with an strained smile on his face.

"Look, I fixed it, okay?" he panted, gesturing to his arm which now looked like it hung from his shoulders properly.

The boy didn't look too convinced, so Kaname bit his lip and urged his arm to move.

It shakily lifted, though internally it was screaming in pain. He strained his arm, lifting it so it could reach the boy. This seemed to do something. The boy took his hand gingerly in his tiny one, and laid it on his lap.

"I'm sorry I hurt you," he said, his voice sounding so touching and sincere that it moved him. Kaname smiled back genuinely too.

"It's alright," he insisted, patting the boy with his good hand, "I guess… you're just as dangerous to strangers as we are to you then,"

This gained a quirk from the boy's lips, and then a small smile.

It appeared that the boy liked to be on equal footing with Kaname. That was fine with him. The boy _had _helped him, and he… he liked his spunk. Honestly, looking back at how things had gone, Kaname was glad he'd met this little boy. This little boy who had laughed at him so rudely, but then chose to stay with him – a complete stranger – who needed his help, and stayed by his side… he honestly didn't think he'd have been able to pull himself free by himself. Faced with a task like that by himself would have been horrendous. Kaname knew he would've given up.

"My name is Kaname," he told the boy, expecting him to reply with his own name.

But he quirked his brow funnily, "Kaname? Like the _village_, Kaname?" he asked in disbelief.

Kaname's stomach jolted. "You know that village?"

"I _live_ in that village, mister. That's really weird how your name is the same,"

_He lives there. _Kaname felt like the fates had blessed him. This coincidence was too great to be sheer chance.

"Can you take me there? I need to get there,"

The boy looked at him suspiciously, but only for a couple of seconds. Something about what they had just gone through must have made the boy see that Kaname wasn't someone dangerous, and could be trusted. What kind of dangerous man was silly enough to get stuck in a rock face anyhow? And Kaname hadn't even been angry when he had ruined his arm by pulling too hard. He had been kind and forgiving.

"Sure," the boy said, glancing over at the edge of the mountain's shadow. The light was less bright and contrasting against it now. He looked up at the sky too. The sun had sunk quite a bit. Maybe they had spent more time there than he had thought. "We'd better leave now. Mama wanted me to bring water for the stew tonight," he gestured to a tin bucket that had been safely deposited on the dirt track, "But it's probably burnt now. She'll be even madder if I'm late, so we have to go _now_, okay? And _you're _taking the blame for me, okay? You'll have to tell them it was _you _I had to save, which made me late. It's only fair,"

"Of course," Kaname nodded seriously, "It was my fault. Let's go then,"

He stood carefully, bending down to pull the boy up too.

The boy gasped though, not taking his hand. Kaname frowned at him. What was wrong _now_? His arm was perfectly fine now. Even the wrist joint had healed back in place. He couldn't be squeamish about it, because it looked perfectly fine now…Then he followed the boy's eyes to his scratched hand. The bleeding scratches had healed into pink scar tissue, which was quickly fading to match his white skin now. Only the blood remained on it. What was so strange that had the boy gaping?

"What's wrong?" he said, flexing his hand, "It's all better now, you can touch it. It doesn't hurt,"

"What did you… How did you…"

The boy leapt to his feet on his own and to his shock, the boy recoiled from him when he returned his gaze to him. He looked frightened, but more curious than afraid.

"How did your hand heal so fast?"

Kaname frowned. What was strange about his hand healing like that? Was it not normal? He licked the blood off his hand casually, then examining the clean, perfect flesh. Nothing was wrong with it. What was the boy talking about?

He opened his mouth to speak, but the boy's voice, loud and frightened, cut in before him.

"What _are_ you?"


	45. MEMORY: The Beginning of Vampires PART 2

**Author's note:**

**Guys, I'm trying to limit the number of OCs here. I think it's pretty obvious, and you guys have probably worked out who **_**the boy**_** is, so he isn't **_**reeeaaaally **_**an OC. But the kid needs parents, yknow? So I'm putting them, cos I don't feel like being mean and making him an orphan ^^"**

**Kk, that's all!**

* * *

><p>Kaname blinked, surprised at the bizarre question.<p>

"I'm a Vampire, of course,"

The boy's eyes bugged out, but then he scowled and his face turned red.

"Don't tease me, _Kaname_, I'm not stupid! Vampires aren't real. No one's believed in them for _years_,"

"Oh really?" Kaname challenged, again not really knowing why he was feeling argumentative at this precise moment. But he pressed on. "Well, even so, it doesn't matter what you believe because I _am_ a Vampire,"

The boy bristled, but then simply attempted to roll his eyes, making a terrible job of it.

"Whatever," he huffed, and turned away to march towards the dirt path. Kaname followed him, eyeing the bucket. Up close he saw it was filled all the way to the rim. He was so tempted to drink it, feeling the thirst creeping up at him again, but resisted. This was for the boy's mama's stew. He shouldn't drink it – it would be terribly rude of him to.

"What is your name?" Kaname asked, getting tired of referring to the boy as 'the boy' in his head.

"Mama said not to tell strangers your name," was the answer he received, and he watched the boy fumbling with the handles of the bucket with his chubby fingers. Kaname immediately felt concerned. His hands were so babyish and he was so small. Should he really be out and getting water? There _were _dangers in the world, Kaname knew. Perhaps not _strangers_ in his opinion, but wild animals, and perilous rockscapes (like the slope he had tumbled down before). A little boy like him could get hurt quite easily.

So he decided to help him, and took the bucket from him.

"Hey!" the boy squawked, jumping to reach for the bucket. "Give it back!"

"I'm not stealing it, I'm just going to carry it for you," Kaname explained, lifting the bucket out of his range when he leapt to grab it. He was making it very difficult for him to not spill the water.

"I can do it, give it back!"

"But, you must be tired –"

"Give it back! Give it back!"

Kaname sighed. The boy was so _stubborn_ and wouldn't shut _up, _and he was only trying to help him. It was like he had stolen his favourite toy or something. He was tempted to just let the boy carry it, but then an idea sparked his mind.

"Tell me your name and I will give it back,"

"No, mama said not to!"

"What could I do with your _name_? Don't be silly. I just want to know what I should call you by,"

Scowling and red-faced, he surrendered sulkily, "My name is Kiryuu Isamu! Now give me my bucket!"

Kaname laughed, swinging the bucket above him, "Oh, I don't think so. You're a clever little boy, Kiryuu-kun. So if you were planning to take me to someplace other than your village, you'll have to say goodbye to your bucket, because it's coming with me wherever _I_ go,"

Isamu's eyes widened, and then he huffed loudly, head-butting Kaname in the thigh.

"You evil, stupid…_mean, _strange… man! This is why I should always listen to mama,"

Kaname nodded solemnly, "Yes, you should. You just traded your name for your bucket. Is that all it's worth?"

Isamu puffed out his cheeks, slamming his tiny fists in Kaname's knees. He barely felt them.

"Of course not! But you said you'd give me my bucket, and you _lied_!"

"I didn't lie. I'll give you your bucket… as soon as we reach your village," Kaname chuckled at Isamu's pout, finding it rather charming how determined the boy was to obtain his precious bucket. He shifted the bucket to his healed arm, smiling in what he hoped was a reasonable way. "Come now, Kiryuu-kun, I'm only being cautious of you like you are being cautious of me. Isn't it right that we've proven we're really _very _dangerous to each other? I have to be careful you won't leave me all alone,"

Isamu huffed, but then a devilish smirk spread across his baby cheeks and Kaname felt his previous confidence drain away.

"Okay then, Kaname," he drawled, sounding mischievous beyond his years, "I'll be cautious of your end too. If you want me to take you to my village, you'll have to keep up pace with me. And if I hear even a droplet of water being spilt I'll ditch you in a bear's cave!"

With this, Isamu ran down the dirt path, his short legs surprisingly fast. Kaname had no problem keeping up with him, of course, but he also had to keep all the water in the bucket from spilling, which took up a lot of his concentration.

_Oh that evil boy!_ He was incredibly bright for his young age, making a smooth deal like that. Kaname knew the journey would be difficult and exhausting, at this pace, with his end of the deal always teetering on the edge of the bucket's rim and him having to juggle it so it didn't spill. He only clung to the idea, the goal of finding a home in that village. If the boy already lived there, who knew how many others lived there with him?

* * *

><p>It was almost dark by the time they reached the village. Isamu hadn't slowed down at all, always a few feet ahead of Kaname, who also didn't give fall back. He knew that they were both exhausted now though, and pitied the little boy who seemed to really fear losing his bucket. Kaname could see the outline of the houses, the smoke from the chimneys, the lights from the fires. A thrill of excitement shot through him. He could see himself making a home in the village. It was completely different to the broken houses he had seen before. It had <em>life<em>. It had _people_.

He thought it was impossible for anyone else to live here, but here they were.

"Okay. The village is there, you can see it now. So give me my bucket," Isamu grumbled, holding out his hand expectantly.

Kaname stared at the _still_ red-faced, panting boy and found himself again, charmed by his stubbornness. If there was one thing Kaname knew he respected, it was determination, and the resolve to see things through to the end. He already knew Isamu would hate him for doing this, but he could not believe the boy would be able to carry the bucket the rest of the way.

He scooped Isamu up, quickly tipping him so he hung over his shoulder. This was the best way to hold the boy, because as he predicted, Isamu shrieked and began to squirm and kick right away.

"Put me down! _Put me down_!"

The incessant chanting was starting again. Kaname groaned, but grasped him tighter so he wouldn't fall. He shifted the bucket in his hands and quietly continued onwards to the village. It was a good thing he healed so fast, he thought, because Isamu was beating his fists on his back, precisely where his sunburnt blisters were still healing.

* * *

><p>Kaname waited outside the door patiently. Isamu had had a real tantrum when he'd finally been placed down and the bucket had been given to him, but then he took Kaname by the sleeve and dragged him up to his house. He had drawn the attention of his neighbours, who stared at Kaname curiously, but otherwise went by unconcerned. The neighbourhood was probably well-used to Isamu's loud voice then. He had been mightily surprised when Isamu had ordered him to stay outside his house for a moment. Was it possible he was would be invited inside? Or was the mischievous boy playing with Kaname and making him wait outside for nothing.<p>

It was impossible to read that boy's mind. He was so…unusual. And so intelligent. And _cheeky._

Then the door opened, and Isamu crept out, holding the edge of the door tightly, as though he wasn't sure if he wanted to come out or not. He eyed Kaname as though he was once again a _dangerous stranger_ to him. Then Kaname saw a woman peer over his head. Her face held exactly the same curious expression as Isamu's with a hint of expectant fear. She was young and pretty with unusually pale hair and skin, and clear blue, almost violet eyes. Suddenly she jerked her hand out.

"Hello Kaname-san, my name is Kiryuu Miyu. I am Isamu's mother,"

Kaname shook her hand firmly. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Kiryuu-san,"

Miyu seemed to calm down from his voice, allowing a small welcoming smile to grow on her lips. She yanked the door open from Isamu's tight grip, frowning at her boy and gently nudging him aside, before gesturing for Kaname to enter. He walked inside, mouth watering at the delectable scent of herbs and meat. It was amazing to him, when he'd never smelt food before. Kaname tried not to gravitate directly to the source of food, feeling that would be discourteous to do so. He turned to face Miyu and Isamu, wondering what he should do next.

"Sit," another voice said. He turned and saw what was exactly the adult embodiment of Isamu sitting before him. Kaname gratefully sank down on one of the plush chairs, sighing happily. "You must have walked a long way,"

"The same distance _I_ walk every day," Isamu grouched, but shut up when his parents gave him warning looks.

"Kaname-san, Isamu says you don't have a place to stay," Miyu said, taking a seat beside him.

It again surprised him how perceptive the young boy was. He hadn't told him that he had nowhere to stay, but he must have deduced from him being new to the village, that he was without a home. Without much of _anything_ really…

"Unfortunately I don't," Kaname said, reading her eyes. He could already see the woman was kind, and was going to offer him a place to stay. Truthfully, he didn't want to impose, but there really _wasn't_ anywhere he could stay, and he knew it would be wise to seize the opportunity if it was offered to him. Plus, he glanced at Isamu, living with him could be interesting.

"We have space," the man beside her grunted.

"Oh no, I couldn't-" he stammered, deciding to play the modest guest. The man didn't seem to appreciate it though, and scowled at him, much like Isamu did.

"Don't dilly-dally with manners, son. I don't need them when they aren't sincere,"

"Thank you," Kaname nodded bashfully, jumping when Isamu plopped on his other side.

"So," the man said, clapping his thighs as he stood, "My name is Saburo. You'll be staying here for a while then?"

"Only for a little while," Kaname agreed, "I'll try to find my own place as soon as I can,"

"Good," Saburo said gruffly, "I know there are a few decent vacant houses around here, since the dark descended. People moved out thinking it was clever to run away, the cowards,"

"We'll eat now," Miyu announced, nimbly leaping to her feet to go to the kitchen, "Bring the water Isamu. We're having crunchy stew tonight,"

Isamu bit his lips, blushing when his father laughed heartily. He threw a dark glare at Kaname before he hopped off his seat, slapping his hands on Kaname's thighs to get his attention (though he was already amusedly watching the boy).

"Crunchy means _burnt_," he explained, before hurrying to follow his mother.

Kaname found himself sleeping in Isamu's room that night, on his rather uncomfortable floor. But he was happy enough to have the floor between him and the dirt, a thick duvet wrapping him in a cocoon (much to his surprise, Miyu insisted on tucking him in too) and the roof to keep in the heat. Isamu apparently found it very difficult to adjust to having someone sharing his room to sleep, and was setting an impressive list of ground rules.

"You can't snore, understand?"

"Yes, of course," Kaname repeated, trying to be annoyed by his voice, but only managing to find it endearing anymore. They heard Miyu yell for Isamu to be quiet, and for a while, there was silence. Then Isamu found his voice again, lowered to a careful whisper. But this time, Kaname wanted to do the talking.

"Isamu-kun-"

"Who said you could call me Isamu-kun?"

Kaname paused. He could feel himself blush a little. The family meal they had shared, with the all the banter had been _amazing_. He really thought he was getting on well with them, even _Isamu_. But perhaps he had assumed too much? Maybe he was overstepping the societal boundaries far too soon.

"Pardon me, Kiryuu-kun-"

"No, you've said it now,"

"I only assumed that we were becoming friends-"

"We are not _friends_,"

This statement stung, and Kaname stared at Isamu, easily seeing him in the dark. His little face was scrunched up in a pout, but his eyes were wide open and expectant. Was he waiting for Kaname to agree with him, or argue with him some more? He couldn't tell.

He decided to fight for the sake of it.

"Oh but we _are_," he insisted, "We _must _be. We've already been on a journey – no, an _adventure_ together. Surely we must be friends by now,"

"I've only known you for a day," Isamu muttered, but otherwise he didn't deny what Kaname said. It must be that he was at an age where being a _hero_ and going on _adventures_ appealed to him, because he quickly cooled off whenever one of those factors were mentioned.

"_Isamu_-kun," Kaname drawled, reaching over to turn the boy to face him again, "I want to ask you something,"

"Okay," he grunted. So like his father.

"I am a Vampire, but you don't believe me when I say that. Why is that?"

Isamu's face contorted into a confused scowl.

"You're just joking with me, so stop it,"

"I'm not. I'm deadly serious," Kaname promised, squeezing his young friend's shoulders carefully, "You saw my broken arm, how it healed. If you don't believe I'm telling the truth, you should be able deny you saw that,"

Isamu went silent for a while, mulling over what Kaname was saying. Then his little hand journeyed out to Kaname's on his shoulder, and trailed up to his left shoulder – the one that had been dislocated. Isamu felt along the joint tenderly, pressing his fingers against it.

"Does it hurt?" he asked softly.

"No, not anymore," he admitted, then Isamu began to prod harder, "Okay, yes, it does. Yes, _yes_ – alright? Stop it Is- OW!"

Miyu yelled again for silence. Kaname had to bite his cheek to keep from making any noises as Isamu continued to prod him, even when he defended himself with his hands. Little hands were so much harder to dodge. He sighed at his little tormenter, but also grinned in the dark. It seemed that Isamu was willing to believe him now, which he appreciated. He was humble enough to admit defeat in the face of the truth – he had seen something supposedly un-Human, something abnormal in the way Kaname's arm had rapidly healed itself, and was then bound to believe him.

Isamu was not only intelligent, he was also open-minded, which impressed Kaname.

"Uff-" he parried another lethal poke to his gut – _b__ut what a wicked child!_

* * *

><p>Over the next few weeks, Kaname alternated between playing with (babysitting) Isamu and going around the village with Saburo, looking for a place to live. The difficulty was that he had nothing to give in return for a house. Saburo had been understandably miffed with his answer when he had asked how much he was willing to pay for a house, because saying "<em>I don't have any money"<em> was just… not a great answer for a prospective homeowner.

Perhaps he could earn some money? He had suggested. But how long would it take to earn enough money for a house?

Saburo decided he would work at the fields. There was always need for more workers on the crops, and Kaname was old enough and strong enough to do so. He agreed and began work immediately.

The labour was tiring for the first few hours, but Saburo was astounded at how quickly he adjusted to the workload, working efficiently throughout the days without much strain. After the first week, Kaname even got confident enough to suggest little changes here and there to improve the efficiency of the traditional systems. Saburo was at first reluctant to agree with him, but soon enough they both were trying out Kaname's way, and Saburo began to appreciate his ideas. The work was done much faster, with much less effort.

After the weeks passed, months passed, right to the harvest month. Saburo brought Isamu with them as they went to harvest the first crops.

The vegetables apparently pleased Isamu, since he quickly squirmed out of Kaname's hold and went down on his knees in the dirt to properly assess them. Saburo laughed, clapping him on the back and congratulating Kaname for his hard work. For Kaname, it was Isamu's impressed nod, and the fact that he let Kaname carry him back home without a fuss which told him he had really done well.

The dinner that night was superb, and delightfully _un_-crunchy.

In such a small village though, word soon spread about Saburo's mighty harvest, and the mysterious traveller who was lodging with the Kiryuu's (who were, from what Kaname heard, a very private family who hardly ever had guests). Kaname was called over to the neighbours, to talk to them about their cabbages, and then the neighbours' neighbours, to talk to them about weeds. He couldn't explain how he knew so much about botany and agriculture. He only knew that he had Woken with this knowledge in his head. He knew he must have learnt it from somewhere, or someone, but other than the vague certainty, he couldn't explain his agricultural prowess to the villagers.

Kaname found it very easy to find a house after that.

The day he moved out though, he found himself already missing Isamu and his family, even though they had only known each other for a short time, and they were only going to be a few streets apart. To Kaname's pleasure, Isamu gave him a fond slap on the back (on the rump actually, but that was as high as he could reach), just like his father. He promised he would come every day to see him, even though Isamu obstinately replied that he didn't care.

Kaname fell into the comfortable routine of living in the village, quickly forgetting about outside troubles and curiosities. He quickly forgot he was an outsider, and that there was a very big difference between him and the people he lived with. He didn't bother wondering why these Humans seemed to be completely unaware of the mass population drop outside their village, or the dark Armageddon the rest of the Human world had suffered.

But as he fell into this false sense of security and happiness, Kaname could not ignore one thing.

He was a Vampire.

_They lived for longer and drank the blood of others._

Much as he enjoyed Humans and their way of life, he was wise enough to know that the differences between them would show in time.

After all, he was already beginning to feel the thirst for blood.


	46. MEMORY: The Beginning of Vampires PART 3

**_"There can be no deep disappointment where there is not deep love."_**

**_~ Martin Luther King_**

* * *

><p>Kaname the village was small and could hardly be classed as a village. The only thing that them calling it a hamlet was the tiny church that was hidden behind the meat shop, which no one really went to anymore.<p>

Kaname the Vampire had been mistaken when he had assumed the villagers were ignorant of the dead world around them. They were well aware that they may be the last of the Humans left in the world. But the people of Kaname were used to being isolated from the outside world. They lived far away from many other settlements. If it hadn't been for the sky turning red and the screams echoing through the mountains from countless other places, they wouldn't have known the world had changed at all.

To them, Kaname (the Vampire) was a blessing – superbly skilled with crop-raising, hard-working and polite to a fault. He was, as far as they knew, a survivor and saviour delivered to them from a far and distant land. They didn't question why he had come to them, or why his name was amazingly identical to the name of their home. It was assumed that he had had to abandon his previous life – for all they knew, Kaname's life might have very likely been devastated by the Apocalypse, and now that he had nothing –he was welcomed into theirs. They were primarily a farming village, so why should they appear hostile and scare away a blessing?

It had been five years. Five years of holding back the thirst, and it was growing by the day now. He was beginning to lose concentration and focus and control over his mind as it obsessed over what his body ached for. Blood. He wanted blood so badly.

Kaname woke in the middle of the night, unable to sleep when his belly felt so empty and his mouth so dry. There was an unfamiliar throbbing in his gums, and he could feel his lips catching on the fangs that now protruded from them. It was uncomfortable, to say the least.

"Why can't I be like them?" he grumbled, snapping his jaws and sauntering over to his table to drink some water. The Humans could drink water. It was the only drink they needed (though he saw them dabble into something called alcohol, which frankly he thought just smelt _unpleasant_). Why did he need blood, and how the hell was he going to get it?

He sipped the water, grimaced, and poured it on the floor.

Isamu. He would go see Isamu. It didn't matter to him at the moment that it was currently Isamu's bedtime. This constant thirst was driving him mad, and Isamu seemed to be the only person who knew anything about Vampires. He ran out into the night, silent and watchful, but who was watching anyway? The distance between his house and Isamu's wasn't long at all, and soon enough he was scrambling up the wall, digging his fingers and toes into the brick grooves. He gripped the edge of the windowsill and launched himself over, rolling into a graceful crouch with ease.

Kaname grinned at his young unconscious friend, whose body was bent into what must be the most uncomfortable position to sleep in, and yet he slept on peacefully. He took hold of the blankets, bundling Isamu up in them and then lifting him into his arms, rocking him until he woke. The boy groaned, rolling around in his cocoon and slapping Kaname in the face a few times, before he made a long whine and half-opened his eyes.

"…Kaname?"

"Hmm," he nodded, rocking Isamu gently. He liked to wake him up like this, rocking him in his arms.

Isamu however, didn't.

"Nooo…" he groaned, shutting his eyes, "Whatever you want, I'm not doing it. I'm sleepy. Put me back,"

"I urgently need your help, my friend," Kaname whispered.

Isamu grumbled babyishly, but eventually opened his eyes again, narrowing them at Kaname threateningly. But his eyes must've taken in the changes Kaname noticed even more quickly than he had, because soon he felt little fingers poking in his mouth and yanking his jaw open.

"Whoa. Jeez. Maybe you _are_ a Vampire,"

"Of course I am, but I … I'm having trouble… how am I meant to get blood? I am thirsty for it, but where should I get it, Isamu?"

Isamu poked around his mouth for a few more moments before wriggling frantically, signalling that he should be put down. He tottered over to his small bookcase and stool and sat carefully, holding his chin thoughtfully.

"Well… I've read that Vampires use their fangs to bite people. Then they suck the blood out from the holes... that's pretty much how they drink it, generally,"

"How barbaric," Kaname raised his eyebrows, trying to imagine himself biting on someone's flesh. It disturbed him how his mouth watered at the thought, and he quickly turned back to Isamu. "But I can't do that. That would hurt you,"

"Of course it – _m__e_?" Isamu squeaked, eyes turning round, "No! You can't drink from _me_. I'm your friend, Kaname! You can't do that,"

"Of course, I won't," Kaname agreed. The thought of draining the boy contrasted with his previous image – it made him feel nauseous (and guilty, because the thought was still tempting. Disturbingly so).

"Anyway, the books usually say that when you bite people, you turn them into Vampires too. And I don't want to be a Vampire,"

"Oh," was all Kaname could say. He didn't know it would change the Humans to Vampires if he bit them. This made things even more complicated. "How do you know so much about Vampires?"

"I read," Isamu said pointing at his books, "They're in all types of books. Apparently they were really popular in fiction books for some time. Everybody knows about Vampires,"

"They do?"

"Hmm," Isamu nodded. He raised his finger to his lip, "But only _I_ know they _really _exist. I'll keep it a secret, so you don't have to worry,"

"Worry? Why would I worry?"

Isamu shrugged, sliding off his stool, "I dunno, but I _do_ know that I will get into big trouble if people find out about you and your _secret_. They won't believe me. They'll think I'm crazy,"

Kaname's mind was a jumbled mess at the moment. It seemed that Isamu's people knew about Vampires, _read_ about them, but didn't think they were real – that they were only fiction.

What a confusing world. He thumbed his fangs absently.

Isamu noticed this and bit his lip, "Well, if you need blood… can't you get it from animals? You could steal a cow or something, and then you could feed from it now and then. Would that be enough?"

_Cow_… he struggled to remember which beast was a cow. But then the memory came to him of the day when Isamu had taken him to the cowshed and laughed at the way he wrinkled his nose and gagged at the smell. The tall, boxy-shaped beasts with a tendency for releasing rank odours in copious amounts. He didn't like cows. But still, Kaname's eyes brightened, "That's an _excellent_ plan, Isamu-kun!"

"Wait, wait, I'm still thinking," Isamu snapped, "We must think about the possibility that you could turn the cow into…a _Vampire-cow_, or something,"

"Oh, yes," Kaname agreed. That would be ridiculous. "Maybe if I just cut the cow to get its blood,"

"Maybe," Isamu nodded. "That seems like a good idea. Good. Go do that then. Tell me about it in the morning, okay?"

Taking the hint that the little boy very much wanted to sleep now, Kaname once again bundled him up in his blankets and deposited him on his bed gently (Isamu only making a small fuss, he was _very_ tired). He decided that tonight would be the most opportune time to steal the cow. After all, the villagers were asleep, and the village cowshed was never guarded by anything other than the dogs.

He made his way to it, edging around the sleeping dogs. He held his breath and ran his hands over the dogs' spines gently when they began to stir, coaxing them back to sleep. Now it was time to select the cow. His hand trailed over the names of the beasts, so lovingly painted onto the wooden gates to their stalls. He avoided the one named Koburi (Isamu had displayed a rare fondness for her, giving her his breakfast though Kaname had tried to stop him – Miyu wasn't happy either…), and went right to the very end. The oldest one stood here. This was the best choice, he decided. Her life was already near its end.

He opened the gate and led the cow out of the shed, shushing the dogs as they lifted their heads enquiringly. Out in the pasture, he began to contemplate how he was going to steal it, and where he would store it.

Kaname wrapped his arms around the cow's neck as best as he could, carefully avoiding its udders, since he had seen how one of the cows kicked a boy in the head for grabbing _them_ too suddenly. But his arms couldn't reach all around the cow, and he couldn't get a proper hold on it. The cow started braying in distress which startled him. He petted its flank quickly, shushing it until it stopped.

How was he going to transport a _cow_?

He almost screamed in shock as the cow lifted slowly into the air with his hand resting on it. _The cow was flying_, he thought numbly, _because I wished it_.

Kaname kept his hand on the cow's flank, even though something inside told him it was unnecessary. He walked the cow along the pasture, towards the sparse forest. There wasn't anywhere to hide the cow in, he realised. The land was bare, outside the pasture.

"What luck…" he sighed, lowering the cow back onto the grass. It huffed in annoyance. He was only glad it hadn't made much noise when he had lifted it.

_This is the worst robbery ever. _

He patted the cow, watching the old thing lower itself majestically into the grass. The thirst was so bad, Kaname rubbed his throat. It was like his mouth felt both hot and cold, his lips felt cracked and dry inside, even though when he ran his finger over them, they were smooth and full.

"Thirst is worse than hunger,"

He eyed the cow, resting peacefully. Her life was near its end. He noticed how shakily she breathed, and the way her eyes were half-misted and unfocused. He realised she was blind. Kaname was so _thirsty_. What if he drank from her here? Maybe it would be kinder to put her out of her misery and drink it all. Maybe there would be enough blood from a cow to last him a long time. He considered it, lowering his face to the beast's neck, following an instinct he couldn't place…

The strong scent of animal dung and fresh and rotten hay hit him, he almost recoiled, but underneath it was the smell of fresh, _warm_, **blood**.

Kaname broke the flesh without noticing it, and hot rivulets of blood surged into his mouth, pooling on his tongue. The cow grunted, but otherwise remained still and rather docile as he drained her life. The taste wasn't much more than hot, salty blood, and the undertone of grass. He didn't like it at all. It was far too pungent to be enjoyed, but it did the job. He could feel his mind clearing from the haze of thirst, and decided he _would_ drink every last drop. Clarity of mind was vital to him. He didn't like this blood, but if it was the way to keep his mind stable…

…when he was thirsty, he felt _dangerous_…

And he didn't like the idea of being _dangerous._

That type of person couldn't be around little children like Isamu. He couldn't bear the thought of hurting him. So, if this had to be the way…

He finished drinking the cow, and ran back to the village.

* * *

><p>Kaname usually went to the Kiryuu's to eat breakfast. The routine was that he would go there, eat his breakfast and then head off to the fields with Saburo, and sometimes Isamu. He chose to sprinkle some pickled vegetables on his porridge this morning and took a seat on the bench beside Isamu.<p>

"Did you hear," Miyu chirped, pouring him some tea, "Poor Yamato-san lost his poor cow sometime in the night, and he's burying her right now. The old thing was already dying, but they found her in the field this morning. We think some wild animal got to her,"

"Oh my," he gasped, ignoring the feeling of Isamu's eyes boring into the side of his head.

"Yes, it's strange. She was lying quite peacefully though, and the shed was locked,"

"That _is_ very strange," he agreed, quickly catching Isamu's kicking feet and pulling them away from his sore thigh under the table. The little boy was glaring daggers at him now.

"It could be wolves," Saburo suggested, though his voice showed that even as he said this he was sceptical, "They're clever. They could've lured her to the pasture and then worn her down,"

"No, I don't think it was wolves. How would they open the door? And why would they leave all that meat? She was barely torn into. All there was were two little bite wounds in her neck. Then again, maybe she was too old and her meat was too tough for their tastes," Miyu shrugged. She turned her attentions to her son, immediately turning motherly and wiping non-existent porridge from his mouth, "Isamu, eat," she instructed, "You're too small,"

He grumbled under his breath. He _was_ pretty small for an eleven year old. He obediently shovelled the porridge in his mouth rapidly. Miyu yelled about indigestion and tried to stop him, but his bowl was already empty and he hopped off his chair, yanking on Kaname's sleeve.

"We're going to pay respects to Yamato-san's cow," he said through his food-filled cheeks, gulping and dragging Kaname out of the door, yelling over his shoulder, "Gochishosama deshitaaa!"

"Isamu, get back-" Miyu's voice was cut off by the door slammed shut and Isamu urged Kaname to run with him over to the back of one of the granary bins. He immediately kicked Kaname in the shin and stomped his foot. He looked pretty mad, so Kaname stood back, holding his hands up in surrender.

"You stupid fool!" Isamu spat, "I told you to take a cow. _Take _a cow, not kill it! You were only meant to feed on her, stupid!"

"I _tried_, but when I took her… there's nowhere to hide a… a _mouse_ around here, let alone a cow! The land is so bare, there aren't any trees or even bushes to hide her in,"

Isamu huffed, "But it's really weird isn't it? The villagers are saying how suspicious it is. They think there's a thief or prankster about now!"

Kaname sighed, rubbing his face. He knew he had screwed up bad, but what else could he have done in that situation? The cow was already out of the shed, and there was nowhere to hide her. He was thirsty and not thinking quite straight. He _ate _her. It was the only thing he could have done. Now they were just left with the mess he'd made.

"I'm sorry, alright? But I couldn't help myself. I was too thirsty,"

The boy pouted, but quickly quietened down, dragging Kaname down to sit with him. His large lilac eyes were curious and filled with a thousand questions Kaname suddenly dreaded. From experience, he knew Isamu had a deeply profound mind that could conjure up the most interesting questions.

"So, what was it like?" he began, dropping his chin onto his hands. It was going to be a thorough interrogation then. He also settled further into his seat, seeing no escape from this predicament.

Kaname shrugged, "I had to bite her, but I didn't like it. Most of it was instinctive though – I just… I don't know, I bent down to her neck. I could hear her pulse, and that was when I… it didn't taste that good. She smelt really bad actually,"

"Huh, you're nose is just too sensitive," Isamu chuckled, swinging his legs. Kaname inwardly groaned. Swinging legs meant he was still not done yet. "But did she go all crazy? Did she turn into a Vampire-cow? Do you feel better now?"

"Mm," Kaname nodded, "I feel much better. My mind's much clearer and I can focus again. But I have a feeling I'll need to do it again pretty soon. This hunger doesn't wane for good. I fear it will be continuous throughout my life,"

"Of course it will!" Isamu chirped, "Come on. You didn't think you'd have to do it _only_ once, did you? It's gotta be a regular thing. You'll have to get another one, then. But you're gonna have to pace yourself, okay? Otherwise you'll run out and people will get suspicious,"

Then there was a shuffling noise.

"Isamu-ch-chan, _what_ on earth are you talking about?" an outraged voice suddenly cut in, coming from behind the granary they were sitting at. They both jumped, and turned to see one of the older boys in the village staring at Isamu with shocked eyes. "You're _far_ too young to be talking about these things! It's disgraceful! I'm telling your father,"

"What? What did I say?" he squeaked, hurrying after the boy. "_Hey_, what did I say!"

The boy grabbed him by the ear, dragging him back towards the house, Kaname hurrying behind them. "Talking about _**women**_ like this! How on earth are you even aware about these things…" he glanced back at Kaname with narrowed eyes, "If it's _that guy over there_'s influence, I'm telling on him too!"

"No – I wasn't! I don't know what you're _talking _about-!-"

Women? Kaname's face coloured as he ran over what they had said in his head, realising the rather **bad** way they had worded it. He groaned at the misunderstanding, realising there would be some explaining to do, and some lies they would have to improvise.

* * *

><p>He stole another cow five days later. The five year build up of thirst seemed to have been condensed into five long days, with a much greater intensity. Kaname concentrated hard on listening in on the villagers' conversations, now that it was vital his secret remained secret.<p>

It was now suspected that the culprit who was stealing cows was someone among them. The blame was mostly pointed at Gongo, the butcher, who held a grudge against Yamato for getting him to pay a fine when he supposedly kept part of one of his cows when Yamato had got him to butcher it for him. Kaname felt guilty for getting the village against him, but figured that he probably deserved it if he had stolen meat from them. He was just as guilty as Kaname was. It was just that he was getting all the blame and Kaname was getting away scot free.

Even as he was drinking from the newest cow, whose blood was slightly sweeter since she was young, he could tell that sooner or later, animal blood would not sate him.

The blood was too different. It wasn't easy to digest, he had found, and made him queasy at the smell of grass sometimes. He knew it was pretty early to say that he'd had enough of cows, only on his second one, but just from predicting his current tastes and the way they were developing, he knew he couldn't last on them. Also, the villagers had only a small number of cows, barely a herd. He couldn't eat them all.

Kaname decided he had to dispose of this cow differently. He had already stolen the hoe from the tool shed. He was going to rip her apart, simulating what a wild animal would have done. He picked it up, and bit his lip, hating what he was about to do.

He hacked it to pieces, dragging the carcass out of the cow's skin and trailing it towards the empty trees. By the moonlight, the blood glowed bright red. He dropped it a mile into the skeletal trees and then went to clean himself in the river.

Eventually he realised he would have to rid himself of all his clothes, so he stripped bare, bathing in the icy water and rinsing the hoe. The run back to his house _wasn't fun, _but he had to hurry. Time was passing. He pulled on new clothes and took the hoe to the cowshed. The villagers had to think it was a wild animal taking their cows, so he hacked at the stall and fence, shushing the other cows and willing them to _sleep and be quiet_ with all his might. He wasn't surprised anymore when they did as he asked. Animals, he found, were very easy to control.

There were only a few more hours of night time left, so he practically flew to Isamu's house, shaking the boy violently awake this time with a hand on his mouth so he wouldn't scream. His eyes shot open and instantly he began to struggle. Kaname hushed him.

"It's me, it's me…" he whispered, crouching down so the moonlight could shine on his face. Isamu sat up, pushing his hands off of him, grumbling all the way.

He froze when he saw Kaname, staring at his lips. "You…" his eyes flickered up to Kaname's and instantly reading the guilt in them, "… _ate_ another one, didn't you?"

Kaname wiped his lips, seeing the smear of blood on the back of his hand. He quickly licked it off.

"Yes. But it's not enough,"

"It's not enough? You had one _five_ _days_ ago!" Isamu exclaimed, still staring at his lips. Kaname wondered if his fangs were showing. He hoped he wasn't frightening Isamu. He was the only one he could confide to about his thirst.

"I'm full now, but I can already feel the hunger growing as we speak. Animal blood is not good enough for me,"

Isamu could read between the lines. "You want to move onto Humans,"

"I _have_ to move onto Humans. I think Human blood might be easier to digest. Right now all this cow blood is making me feel sick. I can't live like this," he gripped Isamu's hand, "Please, my friend, help me think of another way,"

"Well from what you say there might not _be _any other way. You'll just have to do it,"

Kaname bowed his head onto his knees. It absolutely sickened him that his fangs protruded when he thought of drinking Human blood. He had caught himself sometimes pausing when he was close to them to sniff them and the blood they held, almost as if he was subconsciously categorising and sampling them, like wines.

"Look, I told you before that you just shouldn't _bite_ anyone, because that will change them into Vampires too. If you just _take_ the blood, then you should be fine," Isamu suggested, again stroking his chin in the strange way he seemed to think made him look wise, "And you don't have to take much, do you? So you don't get caught, you could take a _little_ from lots of people,"

He scrambled out of his bed and ducked under it, digging around for something amongst the mess of books, toys and clothes Kaname knew he kicked under it. Eventually he pulled out a small tin box, putting it on the bed. The box, when opened, held what looked like medical supplies.

"My sister has diabetes," Isamu explained, "But I keep her spare box of insulin supplies. She hasn't used it yet so it's brand new. You could use the syringe," he said, pulling the thin tube out of its foam bed, "It's a really tiny needle. I'm betting you could take the blood while people sleep," he handed it to Kaname carefully, and the packet of sterilised needles. After a moment he also handed him a bottle.

"You should start collecting blood tonight. If you do a little every night, you can take really only a little bit each time,"

Kaname smiled minutely, "You're far too clever for your age, dear one,"

"It makes you glad you're my friend, doesn't it?"

"I certainly wouldn't like to be your enemy," Kaname agreed.

"Promise me something, Kaname," Isamu said in a suddenly staid tone.

He blinked. Isamu rarely asked for things from him, which was unusual in itself for a child. "Anything," he said.

"Whatever happens, whatever it comes to… please don't take my blood,"

* * *

><p>Over the next year, the villagers were relieved that their other cows had been spared. The second cow had been decimated by a wolf, they had decided. There was no other beast savage enough to do that level of damage to a cow that size. The next rumour that was passed around was that there was a bizarre rise in the number of mosquitoes in the area. All the villagers were complaining about getting bites from insects on their necks and wrists, and how unusual it was that the bites didn't swell or feel itchy afterwards. They counted it as an ounce of foreign luck, and dismissed the oddity as nothing else but one of nature's little eccentricities.<p>

Isamu thought they were being clever, but Kaname could tell that even this way of getting blood would not last for long. He had to be so careful every time he took blood, not to wake his victims, and the guilt of stealing from the people who had taken such good care of him was eating at him. On top of that, Kaname found it took too long to fill the bottle, sometimes almost taking a month.

On the first night he drank his collection of blood, he'd sat by Isamu's side with the boy watching in disgust and fascination as he drank the bottle. The mix of bloods was an utterly insane blend of flavours, he told him. It was like mixing fish with fruit, or meat with sweets. It tasted strange, but also… _satisfying_ compared to the grassy taste of cow blood. It also quenched his thirst much more quickly, and with less pain during digestion.

But it was like having the first taste of something you didn't know you liked. The thought of drinking blood was growing on him rapidly. The taste of Human blood was addictive. He was beginning to scare himself with how much he needed it, how much he _wanted _it. He knew that soon enough these tiny samples of blood would not sate him. He wanted _more._

One night, he was just too thirsty to concentrate on taking blood _carefully_. He wanted to rip something apart. The bloodthirst was consuming him. Kaname just wanted to sink his _fangs_ into someone's flesh and _suck them dry_.

He crept into the cowshed, paying no attention to the stench. He was well over it by now, and his mission held all of his attention anyway. These beasts were so much bigger than Humans. Even if they tasted worse, they held more blood in their bodies and that was all he wanted – he wanted their warm, fresh blood pumped straight from their veins to fill his belly with blood. He wanted to gorge himself, to rid himself of the sickening hunger, the dizzying thirst.

That night he drained two cows.

The village went into an uproar the next day, unsurprisingly, because this time Kaname hadn't bothered to cover his tracks – he forgot to mess up the scene like a wolf had been there. His mind had been too consumed with guilt and his body jittery with the energy of the beasts.

The villagers began to panic. How could two cows be found dead in their stalls when they were perfectly healthy the day before? These cows had the same neck wound as the very first one, but everywhere – all over their bodies – two puncture wounds stabbing everywhere again and again. This time the cows hadn't even been taken out of the shed to be eaten. It was a mystery.

It was one villager who saw the uncanny resemblance between the wounds on the cows and the wounds the villagers were receiving from these "mosquitoes". The width between the pinprick wounds, the fact that they were found on the necks of both beast and Human.

It was then that the rumours began.

This time, they hit the nail on the head.

"It could be a Vampire!"

Kaname's blood ran cold. Now he knew why Isamu had told him that his Vampirism was to be kept secret. The look in the woman's eyes as she shrieked it was one of terror, disbelief, and hate. This started off the other villagers. Soon they were all with the same horrified expression, and the terror and guilt in Kaname's gut grew.

"Don't be ridiculous," Miyu protested, rubbing Isamu and Kaname's shoulders in passing comfort as she went to confront the woman. "Vampires don't exist. They're nothing more than fairytales,"

"Oh don't be naïve, Miyu," the woman had sneered, "We've all heard the gossip from the other villages. They've had the same problems with their livestock – mysterious deaths with puncture wounds on their necks. _Everyone's_ been talking about Vampires,"

"They _don't exist_," Miyu snapped, raising her voice, "You're being ridiculous,"

"It can't be a coincidence that our cows died the same way! You can't deny it, nor ignore it. Something strange is going on. I'm betting on the Vampires, so I'll be eating my garlic,"

Kaname hadn't understood the last part of what the woman had said, but he did understand that the villagers were beginning to believe in Vampires at last. Unlike Isamu, they didn't seem to be quite as pleased to know about them.

He felt Isamu tug on his hand and followed him away from the gossiping crowd.

Their walking pace had the sense of urgency about it.

They stopped far away from the village, _much_ less obvious than the granary shed from before, where they could talk in complete privacy.

"You need to be careful," Isamu blurted straight away. His eyes were darting around and his knees bounced in agitation. He appeared more afraid than Kaname expected. Immediately he contracted his panic too, wondering if it was _him_ that was frightening Isamu, or the villagers, or the situation as a whole. Out of all these, it was the possibility of _him _frightening Isamu which made his heart plunge down to his boots, mangled by despair and shock.

"I will never hurt you, I promise," he said quickly, taking Isamu's hands in his, "I _promise _I won't," The boy looked confused, brushing him off.

"What are you talking about? Get off me. I'm talking about you and the villagers. I didn't know they'd react to Vampires like this. I didn't know they'd even _guess_ Vampires were the cause of this. I thought _they _were dumb, but what were _you_ thinking? Eating **two** cows! Bloody hell, Kaname!"

"I know, I know, but – I couldn't stop myself. It's getting worse, Isamu, and I'm scared. I couldn't control it. I need a lot more blood than a small bottle like to satisfy me every month!"

"Well you just have to deal with it! There's no other way – you have to be careful, Kaname. I don't want the villagers to find out it's you. Who knows how they'll react _then_,"

"This is insane!" Kaname exclaimed, throwing his hands into his hair. He was still jittery from the blood-spree he had gone on last night, with the heavy cow blood still digesting in his belly. He was glad the Humans couldn't smell blood like he could. If they could, they would know it was him immediately.

He had the urge to move, to _do_ something rather than sit around and talk and panic with Isamu. He leapt to his feet and began to walk off in a random direction.

"Where are you going? Come _back _here _right now_!" he heard Isamu yell in his squeaky voice. Kaname sighed, but turned back to return to him, wondering when he started listening to a child like a trained pup. Anger and frustration made him shoot Isamu a poisonous glare and turn away from him, walking away from him again, deaf to his cries.

But then, as always, he broke inside. The one thing he could never resist was hearing Isamu call for him.

He returned to Isamu again, but then as he came closer to him, he turned away. And came back, and turned away, and came back, and it… it was relaxing, he found, to _walk _out all his frustration. Isamu snapped at him to sit down, but he ignored him. He needed to calm down and think rationally, and this walking back-and-forth thing _worked_ surprisingly well to meet this target.

"Look, I think you have to just keep doing what you're doing now. There's nothing else you _can_ do," Isamu said. "You need the blood, so you have to keep taking it. Just… don't eat anymore cows. And I'm _serious _this time,"

He nodded. This was all logical advice, but he wanted Isamu to tell him where he could get more Human blood without taking it from _Humans_. The thirst was so bad, half the time he wanted to rip off his own arms and drink from it.

"Also, try to stay outside in sunlight some more," Isamu added, "They're going all crazy about people staying indoors away from the sun. I know you hate it, but you'll have to cope,"

"What… with the sun…?"

"It's Vampire folklore. You avoid the sun, it means you're a Vampire. You don't like garlic, you're a Vampire," he explained, "So eat garlic, Kaname. Eat _lots_ of it. Maybe it will make you so sick of eating, you won't want to eat anything else,"

* * *

><p>The days slowed down drastically. Or perhaps it was the effect of coping with painful bloodthirst everyday and having to keep up the pretence that he was a perfectly fine, perfectly <em>normal Human<em> that was wearing him down. Whatever it was, Kaname soon found it torture waking up to the morning and facing the rest of the day under such harsh scrutiny. Everyone was on high alert right now, and the tension just made everything _worse._

His neck and shoulders ached from sunburn. His mouth stank of garlic. But he was just in just the same pitiful state as the rest of the villagers.

The rumours of Vampires attacking livestock and moving onto Humans were sadly true. The fact that the villagers had really hit the nail so precisely on the head was both ironic and terrifying. He continued to collect blood, adding it to his little bottle in small squirts of bubbling red. The bottle was a quarter full. He'd have to go through three more weeks to fill it.

The thought of waiting that length of time was daunting.

One night, his hand was shaking so badly as he held the needle, he had to steady it with his other hand. And then it became even worse when both his hands were shaking. It was impossible!

Kaname dropped the needle. Without realising it, he had begun to cry. The toils on his body were beginning to show. He could feel the puffy bags under his eyes, the paleness of his skin, the blisters from the _sunburn_ on his skin… as well as the internal pain of bloodthirst, he feared he was beginning to break down. Physically and mentally…

_What if I die…?_

Isamu would miss me.

That was the first thought that came to his mind.

He couldn't leave Isamu behind, he couldn't _give up_. The little boy was attached to him, he knew and adored that fact, because he was also attached to him. Isamu was the most important person in his life.

Kaname decided to take a small sip from the bottle. Just to give him a little strength. He needed it to steady his hands at least. They were shaking so bad that he'd definitely wake up the woman he was going to take blood from.

He uncorked it and sipped it gingerly, trying not to give in to the temptation… of…

…drinking it all.

He just drank it all.

What the…

How had that happened?

Kaname stared at the last droplet in the bottle trailing down the curve of glass into his waiting tongue. All those days, all those nights collecting, and he had drained it in one go, when it wasn't even half full.

_Have I lost all control?_

He cursed in his head, setting the bottle down. Now he would have to start from scratch.

At least his hands weren't so shaky. He took the needle and slowly pierced the woman's neck, a remorseful smile spreading on his lips when he spied the tiny dot scars around the same spot, where he'd "bitten" her before. He drew the blood and squirted it into the empty bottle, corking it quickly. Then he began to dismantle the syringe and pack away things, making sure the cork was secure in the bottle neck.

But his eyes drifted towards the sleeping woman again.

To the pinprick of blood that trickled down her neck.

So tantalising, the sight of blood… the tiny red line of it smudged her skin as she turned her neck the other way.

Again, Kaname moved without thinking, licking the trickle away.

As he moved away, it was hardly surprising that the woman opened her eyes, gasping at their closeness.

The sight of a man hovering over her on her bed, with blood stained lips… it was no wonder she began to cry, kicking Kaname off her.

And then the screaming began.


	47. MEMORY: The Beginning of Vampires PART 4

**Author's note:**

**I would like to point out to people a few facts about the VK history which may be slightly confusing.**

**I'm going to quote Hino Matsuri's own words:**

"_**Vampire Knight is post-apocalyptic. The world was destroyed by climate change, so their ancient times appears to be the time period we are in now"**_

**There you go. That is why there are things like insulin injections for diabetes, there are probably TVs too, but cos Isamu's little village is so far away from anything, I figured they wouldn't have those types of communications. **

**I'm guessing a village like Isamu's would be really backwards with technology, though they still have knowledge of Vampires from the "folklore" they read- **

**Guys, they totally read Twilight somehow. Or Darren Shan. Or any type of Vampire fiction.**

**So they know about Vampires, like **_**we do**_**, but they don't believe in them, like **_**w- well, **_**maybe some of us **_**do**_** believe in that…**

**I hope that sorted out a few things. If anyone has any other questions, please just send a review, or pm me. I'm all for answering little queries! I'm so glad this story intrigues you (somewhat)!**

* * *

><p><strong><em>"In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies but the silence of our friends."<em>**

**_~ Martin Luther King_**

* * *

><p>It was beyond humiliating, and any embarrassing situation he had ever experienced could not even hope to compare to the undignified way he was dragged into the street by the husband of the woman like a philandering fool, the woman screaming profanities behind him.<p>

But this situation was much more serious than being caught in the simple act of adultery.

They were waking the whole village with the ruckus, and soon enough everyone was out on the streets yelling for silence or in confusion or asking each other what the hell was going on.

And sooner or later, all their eyes fell on Kaname, who had been tied up haphazardly in torn bedsheets. He knew he could easily rip out of them and escape. The desire to was definitely there – the urge to escape the suddenly cold and unforgiving eyes of the people who had given him a free home. But guilt held him there. Guilt and panic. He was trembling in shame, trying to lift his hands to hide his face, but the husband grabbed his wrists and twisted them away.

On his face was the evidence of his crimes. Like a culpable Casanova with bite marks on his neck, he wore his mark as smears of dripping blood on his lips.

"Vampire!" the husband spat, shoving him down into the dirt.

He quickly scrambled back onto his knees, spitting out the dirt and gravel. Kaname knew he had no chance of turning this all back, but common sense had escaped him, and he began to deny, deny, deny.

"You've got it all wrong! Please-"

"Nothing. No excuses," the husband snarled, kicking him back in the dirt. It was more his guilt that weakened him than the feeble strength of the old man which had pushed him down. The man spat on him and then looked up to glare straight into Saburo's face, "This is _your _boy, Saburo!"

"He was sucking blood out of my neck! I woke up because of it!" the woman shrieked.

"No! I didn't-"

"These bottles, these needles – he's been tricking us! It's been _him_ all along!" the man added, holding up the bloody bottle for all the villagers to see. There was silence, and then the angry cries of outrage rang in Kaname's ears.

"Please! Please listen to me! _Please_-"

They would not listen. He didn't expect them to. Why would they listen to a traitor? He was exactly that, wasn't he? A traitor, to the people who had been kind to him and given him everything. He had taken what was not his to take, their blood, their security. He had stolen into their homes and deceived them. He deserved this.

Kaname turned to see all the hateful faces, the screaming anger was shaking the world and he couldn't say anything.

There was one face in the crowd that stood out, though.

White tousled hair, flushed face, wide eyes that spoke of panic.

Isamu threw his hand out, his short arms extended as far as he could reach.

"Run, Kaname! Come with me! _Run!_"

He snatched his hand, lunging through the crowd with Isamu attached to his hand. The villagers didn't even try to stop him as he shoved past them. It was like they were too scared to touch him.

Then it was all a matter of running as fast as he could. He didn't even know if the crowds were following them, or if they stood a chance at getting out of the village. There wasn't time to think. There wasn't time to glance back. It didn't occur to him that he was not only escaping a village of angry, terrified people – he was also kidnapping one of their children.

But it was Isamu who was leading him, his small legs pumping so madly that he somehow managed to run ahead of Kaname and drag him straight through the village gates and into the outland where the faint outline of the sun just peeked just through the mountain pass. Soon enough he noticed Isamu slowing down, panting a storm, and so he scooped him up by his armpits and hung him over his shoulder.

It was like they were going returning to the first day they had met, only backwards this time. Running down the mountain pass, away from where they wanted to be, running to _god knows where_, away from it all. Kaname noticed that Isamu wasn't struggling away from his hold even though he usually hated to be carried on his shoulder and voiced it very loudly. He was actually clinging _closer _to him, and his face was wet, he could feel it burrowing under his chin.

Kaname followed down the path, not even bothering to think that he leave the path to prevent those who may be following them finding them. He didn't realise that he was crying too until the brightening sunlight they were running towards got caught in the droplets in his eyes, blinding him, and the burning tears were blown up his nostrils.

It was further to the end of the pass at the point where the shadow of the Right Mountain didn't shelter them anymore and the pinkish sun painted them in an otherworldly glow where they finally came to a stop and Kaname set Isamu down. The boy didn't let go of his neck though. He could feel his little fists gripping his collar, trapping some locks of his hair in them and tugging them painfully since he was still hanging awkwardly onto Kaname's neck.

"Let go now, come on, let go…" Kaname wept, half-heartedly prising the little fingers open and pulling his hands in front of him. He smiled shakily at Isamu, folding his hands in between his much larger ones.

Kaname rarely saw Isamu cry. He wasn't the type of child to cry for attention, or when he didn't get his way, or even when he was hurt. Right now however, he was red-faced and tears poured freely down his plump cheeks, but his head was bowed so his bangs could hide his face as best as he could. Kaname tugged on his hands gently.

"Hey, it's okay. I'm crying too," he said, pressing Isamu's fingers on his wet face.

"Ugh, that's disgusting," Isamu grumbled, pinching his face. "I'm not crying, I'm just…sweating…"

"Sweating, Isamu?"

"…through my eyes…"

Kaname laughed, wiping away the tear trickles on both their faces. What a ridiculous amount of pride this boy had! He kissed Isamu on the nose, ignoring the whine of displeasure he received, and kissed him on one wet, salty cheek too for good measure.

"But why are you sweating? Who did all the running, hmm?"

"The wind got in my eyes!"

He decided to ignore mentioning that Isamu had been facing away from the blow of the wind.

Kaname turned to look up the length of the dirt path leading to the village. Thankfully it was clear, with no one even storming through the gates. This worried Kaname a bit. Surely they had noticed Isamu was gone, hadn't they? But maybe they had moved so fast that they hadn't seen him running away with Kaname. It occurred to Kaname that it hadn't been a clever move to take Isamu with him. If the villagers didn't know he was gone now, they would find out _eventually_, and that would mean they would go after him. He should have left Isamu _way_ back there.

But the comfort of his small warm body on his back, holding onto a piece of home while he was running away from it… he knew he couldn't have let go of Isamu if he tried.

"Isamu, you have to go back," he whispered, pulling the boy close into a tight hug. "You understand this, right? This is the end,"

"No! I won't leave you, I won't!" Isamu sobbed, beating his fists near his ears, "I don't want you to go,"

"Neither do I, but our secret is out," Kaname shrugged, "There's nothing we can do-"

"You'reso _stupid_!" Isamu sobbed, beating harder until Kaname could actually feel the blows, "I told you to be _careful_. I told you to, but did you listen to me? No! This is all your fault, Kaname! I ha-"

"I know," Kaname hushed, rocking them slowly. "I know. It's all my fault. I'm sorry, Isamu. I'm sorry. I'm sorry…"

For a while they sat there on the dirt, just holding each other and crying. Kaname waited until their sobs subsided enough, smiling weakly when he realised he could still feel Isamu beating the back of his neck insistently.

The sun was now half-way above the flat of the valley, and Kaname squinted at the land toward it. That was where he would have to go. He briefly remembered the day he had met Isamu, with the sun hot on his aching back. Today would be a hot day too. Why did everything have to go wrong on the one exceptionally bad day? It was so unfair.

He shifted Isamu in his arms, again catching the boy's hands to stop him hitting him.

Kaname smiled softly.

"You're the most wonderful person, Isamu. And I'm so glad to have met you,"

"Don't say that! You're making it sound like goodb-"

"Listen to me, Isamu. _Listen_," he gave him a look, making sure Isamu's mouth snapped shut before he began to speak again, "I think that maybe, this might be a good thing after all,"

"What do you mean-?"

"_Isamu._ How long could we have kept this up? Really? Can you remember a time before we began to panic about my bloodthirst? It's practically all we've talked about for a long time, and I know you're getting annoyed at me for it. It's not your fault, it's mine. But it's weighing heavy on our friendship, isn't it? I hate the way we've become.

"Life with you, Isamu, should always be filled with smiles and pleasure. I love to be with you, but you're only a child, and it was wrong of me to put my troubles on you when it should've been _me_ alone who figured them out.

"I have a feeling we will meet again, my friend," Kaname beamed confidently, "This will not be the last time we see each other,"

"How can you know that?" Isamu huffed, scrubbing away another tear trail.

"I don't,"

"You'd _better_ come back! If you don't, I will come and find you!"

"I sincerely hope so, my darling," Kaname sighed and kissed him on the cheeks again, enjoying the fact that this one time, Isamu didn't say anything about it being disgusting or him being too old for the affectionate treatment. "I promise you, we will see each other again,"

Kaname stood slowly, still holding Isamu's hand in his. He gave it one last squeeze before letting go, immediately feeling his heart crack and sink to the pits of his stomach in dread. Life without him would be…

He nudged Isamu.

"Time to go," he pushed him onto the path gently, motioning for him to walk. "Go! They'll be worried,"

"They'll be mad," Isamu said, staring back at Kaname as he walked _slowly_ backwards on the path. "They'll be mad that I helped you, and followed you,"

"Blame it on me then. Tell them it was me who made you do everything. We don't want you to be punished,"

"I won't! I'm no coward!" Isamu yelled, turning to run back down the path.

Kaname frowned, wondering what Isamu meant. He hoped it didn't mean what he thought it meant. If Isamu told the villagers everything… he wondered what would happen to him. But Isamu was running fast, and he was too far to hear Kaname anymore.

He watched the little boy run away from him, back to the home he longed to return to.

"Coward…" he mused.

* * *

><p>Saburo slammed the door shut, in the faces of all his friends and neighbours, who were crowding around their little house, angrily shutting them in.<p>

It had been a nightmare, getting Isamu back into their home. As soon as they had realised he was gone, it wasn't hard to figure out _where_ he had gone or _who _he was with. He was always with Kaname. Surely he would have gone with him, or was it that Kaname had taken him away? Saburo didn't know. The din of the crowd had drowned out his own yelling voice, and he had lost sight of Miyu and Isamu in the mass of people.

He was still completely shocked. All this time, it had been _Kaname_ who was the Vampire. Kaname was a Vampire. Saburo shook his head, hoping to make better sense of it. The idea was still totally inconceivable to him.

But now that he thought about it, Kaname had always been nervous of working in the noontime sun, when it was right overhead and unbearable even to Humans. Since he worked so hard, Saburo had given him large lunch breaks where he would hide in the shade, but even then he would still come home with sunburns on his fair skin and Miyu would yell at Saburo for working him too hard.

Kaname was always so pale, but he was also so _perfect_. From some of the Vampire fiction he had read, some of the writers said that Vampires were so beautiful so that they could lure in their prey. Kaname was certainly the most handsome man he had ever seen, and he was tall and strong. Many of the village girls had been hoping they would catch his attentions, but now he was gone…

Now he was gone…

Saburo turned to Isamu, where he had made him sit down.

"Isamu, do you have something to tell me?"

He watched his son's face colour darken and his eyes trained solidly on the floor. To his surprise, when he had found Isamu, surrounded by the villagers, his eyes were red-rimmed and he was crying. Immediately Saburo had shoved the villagers aside and carried his son to their home. Isamu never cried. _He should _never_ cry_… _what had Kaname – or the villagers – done to him?_

"Tell me where you went," he demanded. Saburo hated to antagonise his son. He was, despite what many people thought, the one least likely to scold his son. Miyu was the discipline in the house. He didn't know how to handle a sulky or stubborn Isamu, just like he didn't know how to handle himself when he was emotional. But Miyu wasn't here right now. He didn't know where she was.

"…I…I don't know,"

"Don't play with me. Tell me where you went, Isamu. I'm serious,"

"I went with Kaname, okay?" Isamu snapped, rubbing his red cheeks. It was only from the firelight that Saburo saw he was still crying, albeit silently.

"You went with… " Saburo rubbed his face too, sighing heavily, "Did he take you, or did you follow him?"

"We went together,"

"Where did you go?"

"I can't tell you that,"

"Where did you _go_, Isamu? I'm not going to tell anyone,"

"Yes you will," Isamu insisted, leaning forwards in his seat. Saburo growled.

"Don't say what I will do, boy," he snarled, amazed that his son didn't even back down. "And enough with this attitude. I loved him too, Isamu. He was like a son to me,"

"I love him still!" Isamu shouted, "And I don't trust you! You're just like them! You did nothing to stop them!"

"I was shocked. Who wasn't? It was like being slapped in the face! He had always been there – right under our noses! And we trusted him!"

"He did nothing wrong,"

Saburo choked. Isamu was crying again, even worse than before. He hated that he didn't know how to handle Isamu like this. Where was Miyu? What should he do?

"He only took little bits of blood, only _little_ bits, every night. He needs blood to live, otou-san. He didn't want to hurt anyone,"

"You knew?" Saburo stepped forwards. This time Isamu did flinch. "How long have you known. You knew all along?"

Isamu bowed his head.

Saburo sank onto his knees, a sigh hissing between his teeth. This was such a mess. How could this have happened?

"All this time…and he lived under my roof…"

"He didn't hurt anyone, otou-san, really," Isamu whispered, "Please don't blame him,"

"I don't know," Saburo shook his head, "He… he killed the cows, didn't he?"

"He was _starving_,"

"Why didn't you tell us, Isamu? You should've told me-"

"Mama,"

Of course. Miyu… she… the reason why she wasn't here, had she run away? Saburo really didn't understand why his wife reacted so strangely to the rumours of Vampires, denying so strongly to the idea of them. He had to agree, before today he hadn't believed the rumours. It was too farfetched to believe fairytales, even though there were strange things happening nowadays.

"She says she doesn't believe in Vampires, but that's just because she scared of them,"

"Do you know why this is, Isamu?"

He shook his head, "I don't. But I couldn't risk her knowing,"

Saburo nodded. There were still so many questions he wanted to ask Isamu. Why did he only know Kaname's secret? How did they get the blood? Why was all of this come out _now_?

"Why did you follow him?" he asked. This was the question that troubled him the most. It had been dangerous, following Kaname. They had moved so quickly, or at least, he had seen Kaname move really fast when he ran, so he had just missed the attacks of the villagers. But if they had been any slower, they could've caught a rock to the head.

Isamu looked surprised at the question, frowning at the way his father had asked it, as if it had been wrong to follow Kaname. "He's my best friend. Why wouldn't I have followed him?" _Why didn't you follow him too?_

Saburo didn't know what to say.

"You're lucky they didn't come with pitchforks," he finished lamely. Isamu shot him a dangerous glare, one which Miyu wouldn't have condoned, but Saburo felt pretty miserable and that he deserved it. He hadn't been as tactful as he should have. Comforting wasn't his forte. Neither was sticking up for his friends, it seemed.

The father and son sat in silence, mourning the loss of their dear friend. Even though the crackling fire was welcoming, and after a few hours Miyu returned home, they felt that something was missing, and that the feeling would be haunting them for a long time.

* * *

><p>There was a sharp rap at the door. Saburo jumped, blinking awake quickly and rolling out of bed. Isamu was at the door already though, reaching for the handle.<p>

"No," Saburo called, running to slam his body against the door. He shooed the boy away, "Let me,"

Isamu rolled his eyes and went to sit in front of the sizzling, burnt out fire.

Saburo didn't know why he felt on edge. Probably it was because it was in the middle of the night, and he hadn't gotten much sleep in the first place, feeling sorry for Isamu. As soon as Miyu had come home, she had yelled at him so much. She was furious that he had disappeared, and became even more irate when Isamu had insisted he had chosen to go with Kaname. After such a stressful, horrible day, this scolding was the last thing Isamu needed. He'd gone up to bed far earlier than he'd ever done before, just so he could be away from his parents – both of whom had failed him in so many ways.

He slowly opened the door, half expecting he would find half the village again surrounding it. Instead he found two beautiful people on his doorstep.

Saburo was more cautious to beautiful people now. After he had thought about it, he was amazed at himself for not recognising how unnaturally good-looking Kaname had been. He examined the two people, a man and a woman. The way they looked at him made him uncomfortable, so he closed the door slightly to shield half his face. They were _too_ beautiful.

They _must_ be Vampires.

"Who are-"

His eyes fell behind him, his jaw dropped open.

"M-Masuyo?"

Immediately Isamu crashed into the back of his legs, poking his head through the narrow gap of the door. He gasped, and then laughed in pure joy and barrelled into his sister, knocking her back a few steps.

Clearly he hadn't seen what Saburo had.

Masuyo was only in her early twenties, but the fact that she had lost a lot of weight and her face was gaunt and her eyelids drooped mad her look ten years older. Also, her eyes were only on the male Vampire, never leaving him. She appeared as if she was in a trance. The hairs on the back of his neck prickled.

"Masu-nee-chan, I've missed you…" Isamu exclaimed, hugging her waist tightly. She was just as warm as he remembered, but his little arms wound around her waist, meeting at the back completely. She had lost weight. Masuyo had always been a "healthy weight" or slightly "_curvy"_, which Isamu had fully appreciated, since it made hugging her nice and comfortable. But now her body was angular. He could feel her ribs against his cheek. And she smelled strange…

"Isamu, get back here_ now_!" Saburo barked. Startled, Isamu instantly obeyed his usually soft father.

"But it's nee-"

"Shut up," Saburo pushed Isamu behind him with his leg, barring his son out of view of the two, suddenly interested strangers. "_What do you want?"_

"Kiryuu-san," the woman said, smiling warmly at him. He didn't respond in kind. "We heard you knew our friend. His name is Kaname,"

"Kaname?" Isamu chirped, peeking under his father's leg.

"Get _inside_, Isamu," Saburo hissed, kicking him lightly away.

"So you do know him," the man drawled, leaning casually on Masuyo's shoulder, "Well. Tell us where he is then,"

"My daughter, what have you done to her?" he shot a glance at Masuyo who was staring blankly at the man resting on her.

"Where is Kaname, Kiryuu-san? Or does your son know?" the woman asked, peering down at Isamu who was desperately trying to get past his legs.

"He's gone," Saburo said, bravely shooting his hand out towards Masuyo, "Come, Masu-chan. Come on,"

"Do you have any idea where he went? We were sure we'd find him in the village. He said he was coming here," the woman pressed.

_That must have been well over five years ago, _Saburo thought, wondering how well this woman knew Kaname if she was only looking for him now.

"We don't know. He's gone. Thank you for returning Masuyo," he said, shaking his hand at Masuyo impatiently. But her attention was only on the man. He grit his teeth, uncertain whether he should move out of his house to get to her. It would be a dangerous movement. There was his daughter, just out of reach.

But that was his son behind him. And if he moved to either one of them, it would leave the other exposed.

He was caught.

Saburo shot a brief glance at the woman, who had moved back a little to talk to her male companion. Luckily the man had let go of Masuyo to speak with her. In that split moment he made his decision and quickly shot out of the house to grab Masuyo.

But simultaneously, the woman shot forwards, somehow managing to get past him.

She got to Isamu.

"Where is Kaname? Where is he?"

Isamu shuddered. Her fingers were biting into his flesh. He shook his head in panic and whimpered.

"I won't tell you!"

"We're _friends_. He's a good friend of mine," the woman urged.

By then, Saburo was shaken from his shock (_how could someone move _that_ fast?)_ and finally realised that she was standing in his home, with his son. He tugged on Masuyo, cringing as she whined and made towards the man. What was wrong with her? Was she in love with that man? What had happened with her and Hayate? He tried to push her towards the house, grabbing her by the hair and roughly turning her head away from the man. She cried out, drawing the attention of the villagers.

"Grab the boy, we can take him with us," the man drawled. Saburo's nostrils flared.

"No!" he shoved the man aside, but he already backed off before he could touch him.

Isamu stared at the woman. She looked really worried, and her face looked kind, not just beautiful. He wanted to believe her. He felt like she was telling the truth. And if she was Kaname's friend, she wouldn't hurt him, would she? Maybe she was his Vampire friend. He was Kaname's Human friend. They should help each other take care of Kaname then.

Now that Kaname had left him, he should make sure at least _someone _was looking for him, was taking care of him…

"He went down the mountain pass," he finally spoke.

She smiled thankfully, hurrying out of the door. She grasped her male friend by the shoulder, drawing him away from Saburo. "Leave her," she said, sparing a glimpse at Masuyo. "Come,"

He followed her obediently, through the crowds of wide-eyed Humans, both climbing onto a white horse and galloping away into the darkness of the night.

* * *

><p>Kaname walked until the sun rose high into the sky. Noontime. He loathed noontime. It meant he would have to rest in the shade. Grumbling to himself, he crossed the path to the left, taking shade from a large rock. An <em>erratic<em>. He remembered teaching the name to Isamu when he had been left to go over his geography lesson with him. _Glacial erratics were deposited by the glaciers thousands of years ago, they are usually picked up and dragged along by the glacier…_

Kaname sighed. Looking at a rock, he treasured the precious memory he gained from it, even if it was a memory he'd barely thought special at the time, or one he'd never looked back on with such fondness – it was of Isamu. Everything linked back to Isamu somehow. The way he sat down on the ground to rest and instinctively folded his legs into the "lotus position", because Isamu had urged him to try _yoga_ with him, later on giggling when he told Kaname that it was because he was an "old coot" and needed to look after his joints…

It wasn't lost on Kaname how profound this little person, known as Isamu, had had on him over the past five or so years. He was unforgettable. No, Kaname couldn't forget him if he tried. He would _have_ to see him again, in this lifetime, or a part of him would never rest easy again.

He groaned, realising that all his possessions (no matter how few they were) were back at his house. He had accumulated quite a lot of gifts over these years, helping the villagers plan their crops and improving their harvests. How cruel it was that they had all turned back on him so quickly.

"What a day," he laughed bitterly, tightening his shins so his ankles slid higher over each other. He locked them in the crooks of his knees, sighing as the aches in his shins were stretched out.

"Feel good?"

He spun around, standing on his feet so fast, he didn't even know how he had managed to twist out of his sitting pose so fast.

Perhaps it was because that voice he loved, the one he had missed for so long, was calling to him again.

"Lady!" he exclaimed, a wide smile stretching across his face. His eyes strayed to her passenger, a handsome man who also smiled at Kaname. "And…?"

"Katsuo, a pleasure to meet you Kaname-san, I've heard so much about you," the man said, descending the horse easily and offering his hand to 'Lady'. Only now did Kaname realise that he didn't know her name. It didn't feel right to ask her for it now, though. He already knew her, albeit briefly. He cursed in his mind, knowing it would've been more polite to ask back then when he first met her.

"Kaname, I wondered if you'd make it to that village. Clearly you did," she said, lowering down to his level and giving him a wry grin. "Five years, Kaname. They're meant to pass like nothing in our long lives, but I have to admit I missed you,"

"I missed you too," he admitted, feeling that he had. Though he had always been preoccupied with Isamu, he certainly hadn't forgotten the first person he had ever met. "What have you been doing?"

"As I said when we parted, I've been travelling the world. I met Katsuo, and many others just like us," she beamed, "Kaname, there's a _world_ out there! I really regret leaving you back then. There's so much you haven't seen!"

"But I've enjoyed my time there too," Kaname argued, gazing back up the path with a tug of longing. "I made friends,"

"I know. But they rejected you too," she said, cringing in sympathy, "That doesn't seem like a thing friends do,"

"It's understandable though," Katsuo sighed, "They _are_ Human. They tend to hate us, don't they?"

"Not this little boy, he was my friend…"

"Ah yes, the son of Kiryuu-san," Lady smiled, "He's very cute, Kaname,"

"He is," he nodded. He looked at Katsuo, "He didn't hate me, or fear me,"

"He's a child," Katsuo said dismissively, throwing back the bangs that flew in his face. "He'll grow up-"

"And he'll always remember me," Kaname insisted, a hint of warning in his tone. He didn't like the way Katsuo was dismissing his friendship with Isamu as though it was worthless, as though it could be forgotten.

Katsuo shrugged, his eyes on Lady as if he was waiting for her to say something else.

She gestured to the horse though, chuckling apologetically, "I don't think Nobu-san can carry the three of us,"

"It's fine, I can walk," Kaname said, not wanting to be rude. Katsuo raised an eyebrow, gesturing again to the horse, as if asking if he was sure. He nodded, smiling at the man's polite gesture. At least he was considerate, he thought.

"So you're coming with us, this time?" Lady asked, humour in her voice. Kaname's smile turned wry.

"Well, there's nowhere else for me to go, is there?"

"Oh, you wound me, Kaname. Am I to be a last resort?" she mock-pouted, laughing at Kaname's reddening ears. "Come, we should leave. We've made a settlement just on the edge of this place. Hopefully the others have waited for us. You see, Kaname, we're still searching for others. We're primarily nomadic…"

Kaname followed them on foot, nodding to show he was listening, but he couldn't help but feel despondent at the faster speed they were moving at. At the pace he'd been walking at before, it had given him time to appreciate his homeland around him for one last time. At this pace, he barely could count the erratics, or the leafless trees that were just beginning to regenerate. Perhaps it was better this way. He wouldn't have time to linger over losing these things and feel the ache slow and deep, it would be taken from him quickly, before the true pain could register fully.

He realised, that this was him leaving his old home, travelling to what he hoped would be just as good a new home. He was following friends, who he barely knew.

A sense of longing drifted over him. _Isamu…I miss you already_.

He glanced back, seeing the dark smooth mounds of the Twin Mountains shrinking in the distance.

_Isamu_…


	48. MEMORY: Uniting the vampires PART 1

Kaname had met all the Vampires the Lady had gathered. He was amazed at the numbers of them. There were easily enough to equal the villagers, if not more. He could not have imagined in his wildest dreams that so many Vampires existed in this world. It was fantastic. Kaname hadn't realised that he craved the company of Vampires until now, but it was so comforting, even when he was only barely acquaintances with them all. They shared the common ground of _species_. He'd been living with Humans all this time. They didn't _understand_ what it was like to be a Vampire like these people did.

The Lady settled him in with sharing a tent with three other male vampires, sharply informing him of the dividing rule set between the genders. The 'boys' had this side of the camp, the 'girls' had the other. Of course, they were allowed to mix and talk together, but sleeping was strictly separate.

She also whispered into his ear that often people ignored the rule, but it was there for a 'reason'.

Kaname didn't really understand, but agreed to stick to the 'boys' side anyhow. It seemed simpler to obey, anyway.

The three men he met were all quite friendly, though the third one was rather more enthusiastic than the other two.

When he asked them their names, they all spoke with pride, saying when they had Woken, they had proudly named themselves.

"Aidou Kenshin," was a rather short blonde with piercing blue eyes. He was the eager one who had grasped Kaname's hand in a firm shake, grinning toothily at him.

"Kain Hiroshi," had then taken a hold of Kenshin, dragging him _away_ from the unnerved Kaname and hissing in his ear to behave, and not make the newcomer uneasy. He was extremely tall, so he could practically rest his elbow on Kenshin's shoulder, and had a shock of red hair.

"Ichijou Daisuke," made Kaname feel calm, and comfortable, shaking his hand firmly also, and levelling him with a friendly but curious gaze. He was a lighter blonde than Kenshin – Kaname wondered why he was relating them all to _Kenshin_. It was probably something about meeting brash, loud people that struck Kaname and made them striking (_Isamu…_).

He felt like they were going to be good friends.

When he had exclaimed happily about how many Vampires there were to Katsuo, the other man had smiled at him lazily, "It wasn't hard at all to find us, Kaname-san. If you think about the world you saw when you Woke, you can see that there has been a great disaster befallen the people of this world. The Humans unfortunately haven't survived as well as some of us. If you think about it, it made it much easier for us to find each other. They were obstructing our sight,"

Kaname agreed, finding his explanation perfectly logical. He ignored how the word 'obstructing' rubbed at him the wrong way, feeling almost like an insult to the Humans.

But the sheer number of Vampire still baffled him. He turned to the Lady.

"Oh, I know," she beamed, "There are even _more_ out there, I'm sure of it! And the land's so empty, perfect for us. We could build a country, Kaname. There's so much space for us, and we've been wandering for so long. We're sticking together right now, because it's best to know how many of us there are. We're looking for the perfect land,"

"Why not here?" Kaname asked, not seeing anything wrong with the bare landscape around him. Surely it was the same all over the world.

"We're Vampires, Kaname," she said proudly, smiling gratefully at the drink Katsuo brought her.

"We're not settling for barren land," Katsuo finished, fixing Kaname with a pointed stare.

He guessed they would be travelling quite a bit away then.

Figuring there was nothing really for him to do, Kaname retreated back into his tent, smiling at his roommates as he went to his bed. Somehow the Vampires had managed to get _actual_ beds (that folded up) rather than roll-out sleeping mats. He appreciated the luxury, closing his eyes and snuggling into the mattress. It didn't feel the same as home, but it was enough. Things had changed so fast, but he had to accept it, and he tried to see it like ripping off a plaster. Fast and painful was better than being slow and dragging it out. If he let himself slow down, he would begin to notice things and let them get to him, he would begin to _feel_. This fast change let things happen without him getting too emotional about them (yet).

He closed his eyes, and fell into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

><p>Kaname gasped as he was torn from sleep by fingers biting into his arms tightly. Writhing awake, he threw the person from him and blinked the sleep from his eyes.<p>

"Lady!" he exclaimed, rushing to help her up. She looked shaken. He hadn't realised how hard he had shoved her away, so she had gone crashing into the wall of the tent, thankfully not knocking it down.

He quickly checked around the tent. The others weren't in their beds. The whiteness of the tent walls, illuminated by the moonlight, clearly told him that it was night time now. How long had it been since he had stayed awake at night and slept by day? This routine seemed somehow _natural_ to him, to live by the moon and sleep by the sun.

But with the villagers, he had… he had lived by the sun and slept by the moon.

Kaname brushed Lady down, checking her over, before he was dragged outside by the pull of the moon. It wasn't a full one… a waxing gibbous. A fifth of the face of the moon faded into the night. All these nights of stealing blood, had the moon been watching over him? If so, why had it failed him last night? Why did things have to change?

He shook his head. He was getting ridiculously sentimental.

"Kaname, I'm sorry I woke you,"

"Oh no, I'm sorry I pushed you away," he took Lady's hands, smiling at her softly.

She returned his smile, "I just wanted to wake you for the new day. This is our time of day, Kaname. Doesn't it feel magical when you wake to see the moon? It's so mysterious,"

"Elusive," Kaname nodded. "Ever-changing,"

"Hmm," she agreed, looping her arm through his. She led him out of the tent, around the back of it away from the fires. Kaname wondered why she was taking him away from the camp, but the gentle touch of her arm in his reassured him that he was not being forced, and she was safe to be with. "Kaname, you look hungry,"

He blinked, and then laughed in amusement, "I am. But why are you leading us away from the food then, Lady?"

"Not hungry for food," she drawled in exasperation, "For _blood_,"

Kaname then realised the state of his fangs. They were practically hanging out of his lips! And now that he thought about it, his throat was quite dry. He realised that he hadn't finished his last feeding. The woman had woken up…

"I am," he repeated, more quietly this time.

The woman stopped walking, forcing him to stop too. She turned to him with a sceptical look on her face, making Kaname blush, somehow feeling shamed.

"Kaname, you can't be embarrassed or worse, _reluctant_ to feed. Drinking blood is a natural part of Vampire life. You can't doubt yourself anymore. Besides, you're with us now, it's _okay_ to feel thirsty. Don't ever feel ashamed,"

"I'm sorry-"

"Don't feel sorry!" Lady laughed, tilting her head affectionately towards him, "Don't… just don't _feel_ anything… it's as natural as breathing. Now come on," she tugged her collar aside, lowering her hood.

Kaname's blush deepened, but he let her dig her nail deep into her neck, immediately bowing his head down to lap up the overspill of blood, and then to feed.

He groaned happily, the warm rush of blood cooled the raging hungry beast inside of him. This blood was a thousand times better than the tiny titbits of the mixed cocktail of blood he had collected in his little bottle. It was _pure_ and silky smooth, like hot chocolate, frothing through the gaps in his teeth. A little dribbled down his chin, but he didn't care, sucking on his meal.

Eventually he felt Lady tugging on his hair, pulling him gently off of her. He lapped at her neck until it healed, still red-faced as he stood back away from her. She laughed, patting his cheek.

"It's alright sweet," she giggled, "My goodness you were hungry. I thought you were going to drain me dry!"

Kaname wiped the drip off his chin, licking it off too. It was difficult for him to meet her gaze anymore, after he had practically _feasted_ on her. How was she even standing after that? Surely he had taken enough to put her into a coma...

"Kaname, _Kaname_…don't feel bad, come on!"

Lady pulled the corners of his mouth into a smile, causing him to laugh and her to laugh too.

Everything felt comfortable with her, he realised. It was like she was family to him, like Saburo and Miyu and Isamu had been to him. They just _clicked_. He grinned.

But then he froze, feeling something strange.

Someone was…watching them…?

He turned to the side, peering in the darkness, but it wasn't difficult to see Katsuo standing there under the moonlight, staring back at him. Kaname was taken aback at the expression on his face, which he could see even this far off. He looked pissed, in the simplest of terms. Very pissed.

Lady laid her hand on his shoulder, he turned to her questioningly.

She smiled weakly. "It's alright, Katsuo's just protective over me,"

"Why, I didn't hurt you did I?" Kaname's eyes widened as he began to open his mouth to spew multiple apologies again.

"No, no. He's just a protective sort of guy. He doesn't like to see…"

Kaname watched her looking over his shoulder at Katsuo, her expression softening marginally, though she bit her lip too as if she was concerned.

"He doesn't like to see…?" he pressed.

She jumped, "Oh. He's just _nosy_. Don't worry about him, Kaname. Now go on, go get some _real_ food. I think Daisuke said something about grilling fish…"

* * *

><p>The next day they marched at night, as several units, after having folded up all the beds, tents and other supplies. Kaname was pumped up with energy, after having fed fully and slept again for the whole day. He was so much more comfortable in the cool moonlight, which didn't burn his skin. Daisuke walked beside him, with Kenshin and Hiroshi bickering just behind them. Lady led the way, on her dainty horse, with Katsuo sat behind her, facing backwards so he could direct the units.<p>

Kaname laughed at what Daisuke was describing he had found tent-life to be like with the two behind them. Kenshin was _quite_ a character, from what he heard. The rascal enjoyed listening in on _everyone_ and gossiping about his findings to anyone who cared to lend an ear, and when no one _did_ want to listen to his catch, _Hiroshi_ got it. Daisuke said it was quite informative just to eavesdrop on the two, though they sometimes were just as terrible to listen to because they could literally bicker about _everything_ without breaking down or pausing for breath.

They had reached the end of the mountain pass, and were crossing the valley between the mountain sides now. The valley wasn't very deep, but stretched quite widely. Kaname marvelled at the vegetation that had survived here. According to Daisuke, the climate change hadn't affected the valley floor because of the difference in heights between the floodplains and the water table. The ground had been fully saturated with water before the sky burst aflame, so even when the vegetation had burnt, the soil beneath it was kept moist. This let them regenerate very quickly.

The land was lush and green here. He wondered if they would settle near here.

Kaname rushed out of his unit to the horse's side, boldly taking no notice of Katsuo's glaring eyes as he walked even faster to walk by Lady's side.

"Lady, you said we are settling for good," he panted, leaning a hand on the horse for support.

"We are, definitely," she nodded, "And I agree what you are suggesting. This land seems very fertile at the moment. It certainly wasn't like this when we last came along his way,"

"So you think we will settle here?" Kaname couldn't help but let the hope shine in his voice, and probably his eyes. If they settled near here, he was still close enough to the village. He could still go back and visit Isamu, sometime.

"What, are you getting tired, Kaname?" she laughed, leaning down to pat his head. He snapped his jaws at her jokingly, grinning toothily as she laughed more.

"Of course not! I just think this land is good. It's so clear and green," he spread his arms out to emphasise his enthusiasm. Lady's eyes gleamed happily, and she also looked around, slowing her horse as she surveyed the landscape.

"It is beautiful here. But I just want to get onto the other side of the mountain bowl, Kaname. This valley doesn't drain well in winter, apparently, and anyway, our scouts are on the other side,"

"Scouts?"

"Mm. We sent scouts ahead of us. We already know the land, but the scouts are taking our other units,"

"There are even _more_ Vampires?" Kaname gasped, eyes practically popping out of his sockets. Already there were nearly a hundred with them now, but there were even _more?_ He suddenly felt a rush of desire to see them. He grabbed the horse's reins, patting Nobu-san's nose. "Let's go! Let's go!" he cried childishly.

Lady laughed, and even grumpy Katsuo leaned over to smile at him. "They aren't _all_ Vampires, Kaname,"

This stunned him into silence. Not all Vampires…

"Humans?"

"Who else?" Katsuo grunted.

"Humans! We have Humans with us?" Kaname's heart leapt. Maybe this could be a new village they could build.

"We do, they're very good to us," Katsuo nodded, patting Kaname on the head too. "You'll like them,"

_I will_, Kaname grinned, suddenly feeling like home was coming to him. Being around Vampires was nice, but being around Humans was _better_. After all, it had been Humans who had raised him.

* * *

><p>They arrived when the sun was beating the moon down, and Kaname had to shade his eyes with both his hands to see properly, grumbling under his breath. Daisuke was still amazingly chipper, helping Kaname by walking in front of him to shade him from the sun. Wasn't he bothered by it? Kaname asked, but Daisuke simply shrugged, saying that he didn't mind it so much.<p>

The smell hit Kaname before he could see the settlement.

There was the smell of a _lot_ of blood. Human blood.

Kaname pinched his nose shut. He was full now, so he could smell it without feeling appetised, and the smell was _overpowering_. His eyes were beginning to water.

"Daisuke, what _is_ that?" he pointed at his nose. Daisuke blinked at him.

"It's blood, Kaname," he said, voice deadpanned. Kaname craned his neck to see what was up ahead, finding he could just see the vague cluster of tents in the distance.

"But _why_ does it smell of blood?"

Daisuke shrugged, but Kaname could see in his face that he knew why it smelt so bad, he just didn't want to speak. Not wanting to upset him, Kaname slowed his pace to match with the two gossipers behind them, waiting for Kenshin to finish his rant.

Kenshin's eyes quickly drew to him, and lit up excitedly, putting Kaname on edge.

"I was just wondering if you two know why it smells so much like blood,"

Kenshin's smile dropped, and he motioned to Hiroshi to speak. The redhead sighed at the blonde's apparent reluctance, or cowardice. Why did it always end up to him to do the hard things?

He tightened his lips, glancing at Kaname momentarily. As far as he knew, Kaname had come from a Human village, which would mean he sympathised with them. He wouldn't like what he was about to say, that was for sure.

"You know Katsuo," he began, checking Kaname's answer, which was an uncertain nod, "Well, I only heard this from Kenshin, who heard this from… from… it doesn't matter. Anyway, apparently one day Katsuo had been feeding on Humans,"

Kaname held up his hand to pause him.

They fed on _Humans_? Was this normal among Vampires, he asked Hiroshi.

"Well, yes," Hiroshi said bluntly, shifting uncomfortably, "Where else would we get blood?"

Kaname was sent back to the memory of drinking blood from cows, how unsatisfying and more damaging it had been. He saw their point. He just hoped it didn't mean they _ate_ Humans.

Kaname didn't want to ask.

"Katsuo was feeding on Humans, but unfortunately that day he got a little carried away. The bloodthirst turned to bloodlust, you know," Hiroshi made a little motion Kaname didn't understand, "He _just got carried away_. He bit into one Human, but didn't finish her. He was too full, you see? So he just bit her and then dropped her. Immediately, she was all screaming and crying, but then she quietened. She started following him around, and when he told her to do things, she did them, no problem. Katsuo started biting a lot of Humans then, so have some others,"

Kaname was gobsmacked.

Katsuo was biting Humans? And they somehow were following him when he bit them?

"I don't do it, though," Hiroshi said quickly, "I don't like the idea of leaving my meal like that. Neither does Kenshin or Daisuke,"

Blinking slowly, Kaname tried to process what he had just heard. But he wanted to hear this from the man himself. He patted Hiroshi on the shoulder, shocked when he flinched at his touch. Then he launched ahead again, going to Katsuo's side this time.

"Katsuo. Explain to me what's happening to the Humans," he gasped, tilting backwards to see the man's face.

Katsuo smiled again, "Ah, you've heard about them then. We've just been experimenting on things. It was all a bit of a mistake that worked in our favour-"

"Why do they listen to you? Why do they follow you?"

"They don't just follow me, they follow whoever has bitten them. As far as me or _Lady_ have figured out, it's something to do with when we Bite them. Maybe it's some sort of thing in our saliva that mixes with their blood, or something in our fangs – we don't know,"

Kaname bit his lips, gnawing at them nervously. What was Katsuo _doing_? It sounded like he was using the Humans like experiments! He wanted to reprimand him, but who was he to do so? Katsuo wouldn't listen to him anyway. He would probably just laugh at him and tell him to get lost.

He wanted to speak to Lady, but she was right next to Katsuo, so that would be awkward. And hadn't Katsuo said that Lady was involved in the experimenting too…?

Kaname did the only thing he could do. He dropped back again, rejoining with Daisuke after slowing down to his pace.

it seemed that the expression on his face said it all, because Daisuke only sighed sympathetically and looped his arm around Kaname's shoulders casually. It made Kaname feel a bit better to have his friend being so understanding, but he was still shocked.

"I know," Daisuke muttered, "I personally think it's _disgusting_. You'll see why when you see them, Kaname. When you do, I'll see what type of person you are. I really hope you get disgusted too. If you do, I'll call you my friend. Until then, you have some thinking to do,"

With that, he pulled his comforting arm off of Kaname and marched further away from him, to the side.

With his friends surrounding him, one a few paces aside, two a few paces behind, Kaname felt like he was in the gaping abyss between them. He found he couldn't appreciate the surrounding landscape as they approached their new home. There was the overbearing smell of blood that cut into everything pleasant, and lined it with the memories of the screaming villagers in his mind. Kaname couldn't understand it. Why would Katsuo do this to Humans? It was…what had Isamu called it…? _Inhumane_. Barbaric_._

He held his breath when they finally reached the new campsite, staring blankly at the whiteness of the tent fabrics.

Lady dismissed them all, pointing out which sides were which in this larger campsite. This time there was one side for men, one side for women, and one side for Humans.

Kaname numbly followed his friends as they tried to snag a "good tent", not getting much involved himself. He was spending more of his concentration on looking out for a Human. Where were they all? He could hear their breathing, smell them, but they all seemed to be hiding in their tents.

Kenshin was quite keen to go on ahead with Hiroshi, leading them here and there to find the best tent with the best facilities and "vantage point" which was where they had short equidistant space to journey between each facility.

Daisuke trawled behind with Kaname, seeming to understand his need to see a Human for himself. He ultimately decided to lead Kaname away from Kenshin and Hiroshi, since they were quite excited to claim the best tent on their own. He led Kaname towards the Humans' tents, glancing over his shoulder to see Katsuo and Lady watching them. Katsuo was grinning, Lady was being restrained from reaching them, a hand around her waist. She looked distraught, but also resigned – just like what Daisuke felt. They knew that Kaname wouldn't like what he would see, they hated that he would be upset, but they knew that he had to know what was going on.

He pushed Kaname over the dividing line between the Human and Vampire quarters, noting Kaname's gasp when he saw the handprints of blood on the outside of the tent flaps.

"They did those themselves," he reassured Kaname, even though the message wasn't reassuring in the slightest.

He opened the flap and pushed Kaname in.

Kaname gagged.

There were eight Humans in the tent with him, all of them were sitting on the floor, staring at random spaces with vacant expressions. They were all dressed in plain clothes, dark browns and grey coarse fabrics. Blood stains littered their skin and clothes, and Bite marks, and bruises. Kaname felt like retching when he saw one of them digging their fingers into their wounds, reverently, as if the wound was a mark of honour or something.

They were completely crazy.

None of them responded when Kaname approached them. They stared past him, two of them were humming tuneless melodies. He shuddered when he saw the deep Bite wounds. They hadn't healed yet and oozed with drying blood.

The tent flap opened. Three of the Humans immediately scrambled to their feet, turning to Katsuo with eager expressions. He traced their chins with his fingertips and smiled at Kaname invitingly.

"Do you want to taste one?" he offered, holding out a woman's arm. Her eyes were fixed on his hand on her arm, smiling blissfully.

Kaname gulped, shaking his head. He felt sick, not hungry. Never hungry like this.

"No,"

"No?" Katsuo frowned, dropping her arm. He shooed her away. She backed away obediently. "Kaname, what's wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost,"

"It's nothing," Kaname breathed, panting. He realised he was hyperventilating and quickly forced himself to calm down. "I was just surprised,"

"At what? The results of the Bite? They are quite strange," Katsuo loped over towards the other two responsive Humans, catching one by the elbow roughly. The man squeaked, hurrying to Katsuo's side. "But I like them. They are good at listening to me,"

Kaname nodded rapidly, backing out of the tent, "It's very interesting, really," he insisted, spinning and darting out of the flap.

He ran back to the very edge of the campsite.

What was going on?

What had he just seen?

It was madness! The Humans were huddled like sheep in the small tents, with barely any living space. They wore dirty clothes and sat on the floor and listened to Katsuo like he was their master. From what Katsuo had said (_"Do you want to taste one?"_) they were also being kept for feeding. It was sick. It was totally demented. How could Lady accept this? How could she let this happen?

Kaname curled up, as small as he could, rocking himself in comfort. He propped his chin on his knees, staring mournfully at the lip of the mountain top, imagining the valley below it, the pass across it, the village further down from there…

* * *

><p>"Kaname?"<p>

Cold and shivering, Kaname didn't respond. He hadn't spoken to anyone since the tent incident. The Human incident. He couldn't bring himself to look at any of his friends, or even to seek out Lady. Though they had told him they hadn't done anything like Katsuo had, they had just stood by and let it happen. In Kaname's book, that was just as bad as doing it themselves.

He had cried. Without noticing it, sorrowful tears had escaped his eyes. He couldn't even say they were sweat.

They were mourning the loss of the Humans. They weren't Human anymore like this. Somehow their wonderful free will, their minds had been leeched from them, due to the _Bite_. What bugged Kaname the most was that Katsuo could _see_ what he was doing to the Humans, he seemed to think it was perfectly acceptable, and he was _continuing _to Bite Humans.

Why?

"Kaname, there you are,"

Lady elegantly sat next to Kaname and immediately reached for his hair, carding through it soothingly. It reminded Kaname of what Miyu did to Isamu after he had said he was sorry after a big fight, or when he had been bad.

"Am I wrong?" he croaked, shuddering in her hold, "Is it wrong to think Katsuo is doing evil things? What he does to the Humans… Is it right? He makes it seem that way,"

"I don't know," Lady confessed, stroking his bangs away, "I can't say what Katsuo is doing is wrong. He said he's only seeing what the Bite does to Humans, and seeing why it doesn't affect us,"

"He's Bitten one of _us_?" Kaname clambered out of her hold.

Lady bowed her head, "He Bit me,"

Kaname gaped.

"What did it do? What did it feel like?"

"It only hurt a little, but I feel fine now," Lady took his hand, blushing, "He didn't force me, Kaname. We're lovers,"

Kaname dropped her hand, staring in awe.

He gawked. They were _lovers_.

"I know what he's doing isn't right, Kaname. But I can't say it's wrong either, because in a way he's doing some good for all of us. He's investigating the Bite. It's very important, Kaname. We only know what happens in general to Humans when we Bite them now. They lose all their inhibitions of individuality, they lose their self control and free will. Katsuo could tell them to kill themselves, and they would,"

Kaname didn't want to know how they knew that.

"I thought Humans were changed into Vampires when they are Bitten," he argued.

"Perhaps," she shrugged. "But this effect only happens when you _just_ Bite the Human, you don't drink their blood. That's why it worked the first time for Katsuo. It was an accident. He was too full, so he didn't really Bite the Human for food. He just bit her for the sake of it,"

"That doesn't sound like an _accident_," Kaname said darkly, feeling anger welling up in his tears, "You just said he did it _for the sake of it_. That sounds like he did it for** fun**,"

"Don't be ridiculous, Kaname! Katsuo isn't like that," Lady tried to grab his hand, but he evaded her easily, "Kaname…"

"No," he snarled, scooting away from her, "I don't like it here. I don't like what's happening here. I want to go back,"

Lady grabbed him, forcing him to look at her.

"Do you think I like it too, Kaname?" she whimpered, "This is the man I love, acting like a **monster**. He's acting like a tyrant! He won't listen to me when I say Vampires should live separately from Humans. We shouldn't even be involved with Humans! We can live on animal's blood quite fine. But his experiments are going too far. I think he's enjoying just having a supply of fresh blood for the taking, whenever it tickles his fancy,"

"If he's your lover, you _should_ be able to stop him," Kaname sneered.

"I can't, Kaname. I've tried. Of course I would try. He's enslaving Humans, but I was _born_ by Humans. They're a part of me," she cried, "They need us to protect them, Kaname. They're so weak, and I can't _stop_ him! Please, you can't go."

"This is your problem," he sniped, feeling awful that he was backing away from her, but the weight of responsibility was falling on his shoulders fast, and he didn't want this responsibility.

"This is _our_ problem. You like that Human boy, don't you? Do you want to see Katsuo coming after him and turning him into one of those…those _things_?"

"No," he squawked, unable to think of Isamu like that. How could Isamu turn into _that_?

"Then we must stop him, and that is why I brought you with us,"

Kaname frowned. He had been played by her. She had played him so easily too.

"Kaname, you're a natural born leader. I knew it from the moment I met you. You may not feel like you are one yet, because you haven't had the opportunity to do so. But look at your tent-mates. They already without you noticing, gave you the best spot in the tent. They already wait for your approval before they choose to do things, and they walk behind _you_,"

He blinked, realising what she had said was true. Even marching that day, they had walked not a step before him, until he had scooted to the back to speak to the gossipers. Daisuke was the one who had walked closest beside him. Was it possible they were forming some sort of hierarchy in their _tent_?

"I lead the Vampires now, but even for me, the urge to follow you is great. I can see you doing great things, Kaname," she quickly drew him into a hug, "You must stay here and gather Vampires to our side, without Katsuo knowing. That is why I've been searching for so many of us. I'm hoping there will be enough on our sides to overthrow Katsuo's. He has many followers too, who are turning the Humans into slaves. They must be stopped,"

Kaname nodded, squeezing her tightly to him. They must be stopped.

"But he is your lover," he mumbled into her shoulder, "Why are you not standing beside him?"

"I love him, but sometimes love just isn't enough. He's doing bad things, and I can't stand by and watch him do it. I'm hoping some part inside of him will come back to me,"

He understood her reasoning, her anguish and struggle to face her own lover, but he couldn't understand how she had fallen for someone as flawed as Katsuo. In Kaname's eyes, Lady was like the light. She had found him in the darkness, cheesy as it may sound, and she had shown him the way to a place where he had found true happiness.

Maybe Katsuo was the darkness to balance her out. From when he had first met him, he had felt there was something different about Katsuo. The way he tracked people around him, silently, as if he didn't trust them completely. The way he had glared so darkly at Kaname for feeding from Lady (though now it was understandable – they were lovers). The way he stared at Kaname sometimes sent shivers down his spine. It was like he was measuring Kaname's worth, whether it be as a friend, or a rival.

* * *

><p>The next day found Kaname walking aimlessly around the camp grounds. There wasn't much to do, he found, hanging around the Vampires. There was no farming work – they had no fields yet. He wondered when they would begin building their settlement.<p>

Kaname dragged Daisuke out with him to explore the tents, even though they all looked the same and there wasn't really much to see. He snagged a seat for them by a fire and filled their plates with soup and rice.

Daisuke poked at the floating pieces in his soup suspiciously. Kaname laughed.

"Go on, eat it. I'm sure it's not poisonous," Daisuke grinned, holding a spoonful out to Kaname.

"No! _You _eat it!" he laughed.

Daisuke tentatively tipped the contents onto his tongue. He chewed slowly and gulped comically, causing Kaname to guffaw loudly.

"It's actually good," the blonde said with a tone of surprise, stirring the lumpy soup, "It just has…_substance_,"

"Texture, you mean?" Kaname said, chewing on his rice.

They wandered into the centre of the tent village, to where the water supply was, to wash their dishes.

Kaname knelt by the pump, smiling good-naturedly at the boy working it already.

"Mind if we use it after you?"

The boy gasped, snatching his bucket away from the pipe and backing away from Kaname slowly, avoiding his gaze.

Kaname raised his eyebrows at the boy's retreating back.

"What was _that_ about?" he mused quietly.

"That's a _good_ boy," Katsuo drawled, sauntering into the picture, "He knows his place,"

Kaname's eyes darted back to the boy to see if he was Human. No. he was a Vampire, clearly enough from his graceful lope.

He frowned at Katsuo.

"Come on, let's wash these," Daisuke muttered, nudging Kaname before he could speak.

But in the next second, Katsuo snatched the plates from Daisuke, throwing them onto the floor. Luckily they didn't shatter because they were metal, but Daisuke still launched backwards to avoid the spatter. He gaped at Katsuo.

"What the hell?" Daisuke snapped, narrowing his eyes, "What the hell, Katsuo?"

"_Learn your place, _Daisuke," Katsuo growled, turning his back to them and walking away.

Kaname quickly picked up the plates again and returned to his friend, cautiously avoiding his eyes and awkwardly brushing him down. Daisuke smiled slightly at the affectionate treatment, but gently pushed Kaname away by the chest, taking the plates from him. He started washing the plates by himself, silently, ignoring Kaname's attempts to help him.

Kaname huffed angrily, and hurried after Katsuo.

The smug bastard was walking extremely slowly, so Kaname caught up in no time.

He grabbed him by the shoulder. Katsuo turned around, raising his brow.

"What the hell, Katsuo?" Kaname repeated from Daisuke.

Katsuo smirked, "What exactly are you referring to, Kaname?"

"What you did back there! You just acted extremely rude to Daisuke. What did he do to you?"

"It's not what he did to me, it's what he did to you,"

What….

What did he mean?

"He lowered you to his level, Kaname. He expects _you_ to wash dishes with him. For some reason, that boy thinks you are of equal standing,"

"That's because we _are_. We're all Vampires,"

"But some are better than others, Kaname," Katsuo tutted patronisingly, "If you haven't noticed, many of the Vampires don't go near you. That is because they know to respect you. Why do you think we placed you in a tent with those three? They are some of the highest ranking Vampires other than you, me and _Lady_,"

Kaname felt both embarrassed and intrigued. What did he mean by that? How could Kaname be better than any other Vampire? They were all the same, weren't they?

"It doesn't make sense to you, because you have just joined us, but there is a hierarchy developing very quickly around the Vampires. We're all Vampire, we're all of Pure blood, but some of us are better than others. Some of us are more powerful, more gifted," Katsuo poked him in the chest, "Like you. Like me. And others are sure to know it. They can sense it,"

"They can _sense_ it?"

"Yes. Vampires are an advanced race, Kaname. We're all primed at the start to sniff out power, and you, Kaname, _reek_ of it,"

* * *

><p>It was only with him confiding in Daisuke, what he had been told, that Kaname truly understand what was happening all around him now.<p>

The Humans were getting enslaved by Katsuo, and a growing number of other Vampires he had coaxed into the practise. Lady was against it, as were he, Kenshin and Hiroshi. Many of the Vampires were undecided if they would like to gain a Human slave or not.

But Kaname... Kaname was the deciding piece in the game.

Apparently there was something special about him. He was powerful (even though he didnt see it), and could swing the fight either way, if it came to the point where there was a fight. He was powerful enough to topple one side and win the other.

Both Lady and Katsuo needed him to win their sides of the argument.

They were going to try to win him over, that meant.

But Kaname already knew he stood firm on Lady's side. He couldn't understand Katsuo at all, and he didn't want to.


	49. MEMORY: Uniting the vampires PART 2

**Author's note:**

**Hello readers! Love you sooo much for being patient!**

**I know some of you are wondering how long this memory arc will be, I agree it's longer than I expected, but there are lots of details I have to get through (and emotions). But it's necessary! Totally necessary! I promise you!**

**I'll try to speed it up a bit. Don't want anyone getting bored. **

**Soon enough you'll see a ****LOT**** of Zero and Kaname, don't worry! This memory arc is mainly Kaname-centric bcos it's a lot about the choices he made, the things that went wrong etc.**

**Has anyone realised the links? I love writing links between past and present. Hope they aren't too cheesy! But the land that the memory arc is centred around… does anyone see the similarities? ^^ please mention them if you do! I love to hear your thoughts, my lovelies!**

**Btw, to the new reader on chap 5 – if they reach this far:  
>I hear you're afraid of flying? Well, I have a little statistic that may build your confidence in the stability of airplanes. "<strong>_**More people die of accidents involving donkeys, than airplanes, per year**_**"  
>Haha, now I hope you don't rear donkeys or anything…<strong>

**On a good note, there is plenty of lurve in this chapter. I hope you enjoy it!**

* * *

><p>Kaname didn't know how much time had passed. All he could say was that over the time that passed, Lady's belly had swollen till he thought she would explode. A few days later he was holding her baby in his arms, with Katsuo and her watching him with pride in their eyes. He rocked the baby carefully, holding its deep blue gaze. Lady had told him the baby's eyes would change colour over time. Katsuo had told him the baby was so strong, he would be a good Vampire.<p>

The years were filled with much (verbal) fighting between Lady and Katsuo, about the Humans. Katsuo couldn't bring himself to harm her, perhaps because they were going through a baby boom, where she was often round with his children. By then they had two – a boy and girl, and she was pregnant again. They were fighting over Kaname, which made him feel guilty – like a child loved too much by both parents and fought over for custody. He fought to keep his sanity amongst the fights, distracting himself with getting to know the children. Kaname loved watching over the children, but he could see that their parents were getting more and more strained, even though he could see by the way Katsuo held himself away from Lady, that he cared for her safety, even distancing himself to protect her. It was heartbreaking to watch, but soon enough he was pulled aside by Lady.

"You are aware that I cannot leave him," she whispered lowly, cradling her round belly. Kaname nodded, pressing his hand to the bump to feel for the baby kicks. The baby was still right now. He pulled away reluctantly.

"But you still want to lead the fight against his people?" Kaname asked. The number of Vampires following Katsuo's lead of enslaving Humans was growing. Luckily enough, he and Lady had managed to round up a roughly equal number of opposing forces, from the new Vampires they found who didn't understand why Vampires should concern themselves with Humans.

"I can't, though I want to. That is why I've got you, Kaname," she smiled tiredly, "Even if I wanted to lead our people right now, I am Bound to _him_, Kaname. I _love_ him. I could never fight with him like that. But _you_ can. This is your time now. I gave you my blood, you give me my strength. You have to take them away with you. The next time you meet us, it will be in battle,"

The weight of the responsibility was crushing, but Kaname quickly kissed her hand and hurried away to find his friends. From the tone in her voice, she meant _now_, and Kaname wasn't surprised. The tension in the air between their people was so thick, like an invisible wall separating Vampires from Vampires.

Daisuke awoke immediately, and after being whispered the plan, went to wake the other two in the most strategic way he knew which wouldn't let them make much noise – he sat on them. The four of them then hurried from tent to tent. They all looked the same, but Daisuke had dutifully pinpointed which ones held their allegiance, even the ones with only a couple or one Vampire loyal to them. The word got out that they were leaving, and they would be meeting at the top of the mountain. Katsuo couldn't know about it, though. He would try to keep them back.

Kaname wondered how much he knew about the opposing forces. He lingered around Katsuo and Lady's tent, wondering if he could say a last farewell to _her_, at least. But he heard strange noises from within. Moans and grunts, the Lady gasping… he felt like they should not be disturbed at the moment. Clearly they were having some sort of… sort of…

Daisuke quickly dragged Kaname off, saying not to be so _stupid_. _She's __distracting __him, Kaname. They're __**busy**__!_ He had hissed, going a little red in the face as he spoke.

As Kaname tried to weasel out of his hold to get to the Humans, Daisuke also told him _It's too late. You know this. They're gone_.

He had been hoping to save the Humans, but that would _really_ get Katsuo mad.

There were so many of them anyway, and they were unresponsive to any of them, so moving them would've been problematic. They left in silence, climbing up the mountain side to meet with the others.

From there, the Vampires looked to Kaname for instruction. He found his voice trembling, but they didn't seem to care, laying their trust in him. It was instinctive, the direction he led them to – the valley bowl. Kaname ignored what Lady had said about the poor vantage point of the location. He told his troops that they would be on the move constantly now, they were now nomadic once more. Nowhere was safe from Katsuo, he said. He'll try to find us if we stay at any place. We'll have to become strong, and protect the Humans.

* * *

><p>It was many moons and suns later, when Kaname began to feel weary. He hadn't fed for a long time, and the unfamiliar weight of so many people's trust and loyalty was a constant responsibility to him. Daisuke provided a great relief, speaking when Kaname's thoughts or throat were too dry to encourage them, directing them around the valley bowl when he thought they needed to move, even using his surprising strategic skills to help Kaname plan where they would break away from the bowl and into unfamiliar country, to use the unknown to their advantage.<p>

But the thirst was gaining on him again, and soon enough he had to bashfully come to Daisuke for blood, feeling bad as he sucked blood from his great friend's neck and left him dazed from blood-loss. This hunger was becoming a great problem to him. Kaname asked his friends where they were feeding from. They gave him a scattering of varied answers. Kenshin said he exchanged it with Hiroshi. It was just the act of taking _different_ blood that sated the thirst, Daisuke explained, and gave Kaname the answer that he shared his blood with many of the men. It made them a stronger unit, he said.

When Kaname had tried to offer his blood to the men, they had shaken their heads like dogs and backed away like he was offending them. Daisuke said not to do it again. They would not feed from _him _(Katsuo), so they will not feed from _you_.

It was confusing to think about. Sometimes Kaname wondered if he was really a Vampire, because the things that came naturally to the others, he had to _learn_. He didn't know about the nature of blood, how feeding sated their bloodthirst. When Daisuke said he should begin exploiting himself and discovering what his "special skills" were, he had stared blankly at his friend. Patiently, the blonde had brought Kenshin with him to explain their "powers" – Kenshin's ice and Hiroshi's fire. He should have some too, apparently. All that came to mind was floating the cows when he tried to steal them.

Kaname was frustrated. He just felt lost and _crowded_. There was so much to do, but he didn't know what they _should _do. He didn't think he could lead them like this. Daisuke was the greatest help. _He_ should be the leader, he thought. They were hearing news from their scouts that Katsuo was sending units out to villages to gather more Human slaves, now, and he was also searching for them.

Kaname tore at his hair and began to pace.

So Daisuke promptly pushed him out of the tent, with the instruction that he was to be free to cool off for a few days. He was making the others stress too, and it wasn't good for group morale.

Kaname's feet led him off, on a long walk down the valley. He walked and walked, eating animals he came across, or just ripping them to shreds with his claws and teeth. Though later, he backtracked to them and quickly dug them graves, wiping his bloodied claws clean on their furs.

Without realising it, he looked up and realised where he was walking to. The two smooth mountains. The shadow in between.

Somehow, his feet had led him _home_.

* * *

><p>Kaname didn't know if home was safe, but he was tired – both mentally and physically, and he couldn't help himself, he indulged in the luxury of his old home, marvelling at how different the pass looked. The undergrowth had crept up in the pass, and the land was greener than it had been before, though it still yellowed near the mountain sides from the lack of sunlight.<p>

He crawled onto the tilting side just left of the dirt path, closer to the left mountain. Kaname didn't know why it always gave him more comfort than the right one. Maybe it was the unusual rich smell of it, or the fact that it was cooler and darker, like the night. It was the one that blocked off the sun, whereas the right mountain soaked it up.

The trek along the side of the mountain was nostalgic, and Kaname also found himself unable to stop his eyes from searching forwards, hoping to catch sight of the little village he had fallen in love with. But it was far too far off, and he could barely make out the village walls anyway-

Kaname froze.

He could smell… could he, could it… was that smell…?

_Isamu_?

He began to run faster along the mountainside, trailing his fingertips against the rocky side of the exposed rock face.

"Isamu… Isamu?" he panted, gasping loudly when he spotted the pale figure curled up under the over hanging curve of the rock face.

He had left Isamu the boy, but was this Isamu now? How much had he grown? Kaname could barely recognise the tiny thing from before in this _man_-sized thing! He was at a loss for words.

How had Isamu _changed_ so much? Had he been gone for so long?

"Isamu…"

The man jerked, unfurling his limbs and clambering out of his seat. His eyes mirrored Kaname's in size, and his mouth was gaping. Kaname felt his eyes swarm Isamu, taking in every little change – no, every change he saw was _huge, __**monumental**_. Nothing was the same about him, apart from his face.

Isamu's paleness was now emphasised by his striking, violet eyes, which were supported by sharp cheekbones and a slim face. His skin was so white, Kaname could have joked that he was Vampire-ish in that sense, but it was an even paler white than his own, he thought, as though his skin was milk, but Isamu's was the snow of the mountain peaks. Kaname admired the way Isamu had grown, short babyish limbs stretching into long, slightly gawky limbs of the "awkward adolescent" stage Saburo had mourned Isamu approaching, before. He was slender and… and perfect, at least in Kaname's eyes.

"Isamu!" he exclaimed joyfully, launching over and embracing him tightly. He inhaled Isamu's scent, falling into the many memories of holding his dear friend like this. The memories were making his eyes prickle with tears, but Kaname only laughed, pulling their bodies so he could barely breathe.

"Ka…Kaname?" Isamu said in disbelief. Kaname also appreciated the deeper tone of his voice, the change was saddening in some ways. He couldn't remember what Isamu's squeaky childish voice had been like, though he would always remember the way it had startled him by its boisterous volume the first time they had met. The first time they had met, Isamu had been laughing so hard, so loudly that he was sure he would meet him like that again.

But this Isamu seemed stunned. Kaname kissed his cheeks, smirking that although he had grown, Isamu was still distinctly smaller than him, resting his head above his.

"Kaname, what are you doing here?" Isamu shrieked.

There it was. That was the loud voice he remembered. Kaname sighed, closing his eyes.

"I went for a walk, and my feet decided to bring me to you,"

Isamu struggled against him, Kaname howled with laughter at this. His Isamu may have changed in shape and size, but he was still the disgruntled, unaffectionate boy he knew!

"Kaname, I'm serious! Why did you come?"

"I don't know. _I'm serious_. My feet just brought me here. Why, is it not safe for me here?"

"No, it's fine. The villagers decided to forget about you when you left…"

Kaname pinched Isamu's cheek playfully, "But _you_ didn't!"

Isamu growled, finally shoving Kaname away, "If only I _could_!" he snarled, but Kaname could see his lips twisting into a flicker of a _smile_. Oh yes. Isamu was happy to see him. He might think he was fooling Kaname, but he could pick up on every fraction of that nonexistent smile, hidden in his face.

"How have you been, my friend?" he said, dragging Isamu to sit beside him. "Tell me everything. You've changed so much! I could barely recognise you,"

"Obviously," Isamu rolled his eyes, causing Kaname to grin at the memory of that sarcastic drawl, "It's been, what, _seven_ years since you left? Humans grow over time, Kaname. I guess _Vampires_ don't. You look just the same as when I first found you here,"

Here? Kaname looked around, bursting into new peals of laughter when he spotted the large crack just behind them – the crack where he'd gotten stuck! It had widened a lot over time, and was now large enough that a small child could slip into it easily. The fact that they were sitting in exactly the spot they had met, warmed Kaname's heart.

"Have you been waiting for me to come?" he asked softly. Isamu bristled like a bullied cat.

"Hell no! I don't _wait_ like that for anyone!" he snapped, throwing a glare at Kaname's mock-tearful gaze, "I just pass through here sometimes. It's part of my chores,"

Chores?

Oh, this was getting too hilarious!

Sure enough, Kaname caught sight of a familiar old tin bucket, sat brimming full of clear, clean water, just where Isamu had been sitting before. He shot Isamu an amused glance, finding that he was blushing bright red. He aimed a joking kick at the bucket, but Isamu caught his foot in time, glowering at him now.

"If it was, oh… twelve years ago, I'd have your bucket by now," he chuckled.

"And I'd be fighting for it. You don't fight fair, Kaname. I was half your height!"

"A _third_ my height. You, my friend, were tiny. Where did all this Human come from?" he said, pinching at Isamu's long, elegant fingers attached to his ungainly limbs.

Isamu grunted, wriggling out of his hold, "You watch your hands, mister! I'm a man now. You cannot play with me like I'm a child anymore!"

Though he could see Isamu was only joking, the words stung a little, and Kaname shuffled to sit close to him again, feeling their distance was oddly cold.

He rested his head on Isamu's shoulder, much like the boy had done on his own shoulder, but now that he was at a comfortable height to do so, he could rest on him.

"Oh Isamu, I have missed so much of your life…" Kaname moaned, burying his face in his shoulder.

"Oh shut up, you sap. I'm still alive now,"

"Tell me what you've done. Tell me what's happened. I want to hear it all!"

At this, Isamu shifted them so he was rested with his head on Kaname's belly, and he could see the lip of the hanging rock above his nose. He liked to crawl into the tight space, under the rock, when he was feeling low or nostalgic, though he would never tell that to Kaname.

"Well, if you want to hear it all, you'll have to stay here a while,"

"Oh definitely,"

"Fair enough," he shrugged, elbowing Kaname in the gut, just for the kicks, "Do you travel with a woman and a man, on a horse?"

The odd question struck Kaname, for a moment, but he quickly realised who fit that description. He grimaced. "I did for a while, but now I'm with my own people. We grew apart from them,"

Isamu lifted his head to peer at him, "Good. I was worried about you, I have to admit. Over the years you've been gone, I regretted giving them your location. They told me you were friends, so as a child, I hoped they would mean you no harm. I wanted some people to know where you were, so you wouldn't be alone. But I have come to regret my decision-"

"Wait! You met the Lady?" Kaname exclaimed, sitting suddenly and bashing his head into the rock. He groaned as Isamu snickered, rubbing the healing wound. "How did you meet them?"

"They arrived soon after you left. They were asking for you. I have to admit, I was wary of them. Why if you were friends, had they abandoned you and left you alone? I was suspicious, but I gave them your location. I think, in return, they left behind my sister,"

"Your sister?" Kaname babbled, wincing as there was a connection being drawn between what he was being told and something he _knew_. He couldn't pinpoint what that was, but he knew it wasn't pleasant.

"Yes. They brought my sister with them. We thought she was elsewhere, in a faraway town with the man she had left with. A long time ago, when I was only very little, my sister was already at the marrying age. She fell in love with an outside man, and went with him to his hometown to be married. We thought she was still with him, so we were surprised to see her there," Isamu frowned, rubbing the crease in his forehead, "I guess we were suspicious, especially Mama. Mama hadn't liked her leaving us in the first place. She said the man she followed was too handsome. I didn't understand her then, but what I know now makes me worried about what she had meant," he stared at Kaname for a long moment.

What had she meant? Kaname couldn't understand. Then he remembered once Isamu telling him as a child how Vampires were meant to be recognisable – pale skin, fangs, _beautiful_…

Oh god. Had she fallen in love with a _Vampire_?

"The man that held her when she was returned to us was different, though, to the man she went with. He was _unnaturally_ handsome," Isamu stressed, blinking a little from his stare, "I mean, when I look back at my memories, which are vague – I was quite young at the time. I remember the man Masuyo went with, he was handsome yes, but I don't think he was a Vampire. I think he was just too good to be true, which was why Mama didn't like him. I don't know. Maybe I'm getting confused,"

Kaname nodded. This relieved him somewhat. There was something frightening about knowing a Human fell in love with a Vampire. There was danger there.

"But anyway, Masuyo was different when she came home. She didn't speak to any of us, she just pined after that man-Vamp that left her. When we asked where her husband was, she frightened us, screaming and crying. One time when I asked her, she just said, '_eaten'_,"

The words mixed with the memories of what Hiroshi had once told him.

"_Katsuo was feeding on Humans, but unfortunately… he got a little carried away. The __**bloodthirst**__ turned to __**blood**__**lust**__… He bit into one Human, but didn't finish __**her**__. He was too full, you see? So he just bit her and then dropped her. Immediately, she was all screaming and crying, but then she __**quietened…**__"_

He gasped. Masuyo. Masuyo had been that Human. She was the first Human Katsuo had enslaved.

Kaname covered his face in shame, at the thought that his once-friend (or companion at least) had done **that** to _Isamu's sister_.

Katsuo must have eaten her husband, included in the Humans he had fed on, but when he turned to Masuyo, he was already full.

Kaname groaned, how was he going to tell Isamu this?

"She's dead now though,"

He blinked.

"Pardon?"

"Masuyo. She took her own life after only weeks of being back home. She was so attached to that man, she couldn't bear to be parted from him, so she killed herself," Isamu said blandly. Kaname had the feeling that he was repressing his true feelings about the incident. No doubt it had been traumatic to the young boy, back then. "We got over it pretty quickly. She had changed when she came home, it wasn't even like losing our Masuyo. Somehow, we felt like she had already been lost to us, for some time. Probably since she left the village. What angered me though was that we had let that man get away from us. He must have done something to her, entranced her or something… She withered away without him. It was horrific to watch.

"But what worried me was that I had given your location to him. There's something very _wrong_ about him, Kaname. I don't know what it is, but I can feel it. Whenever I remember that day, I remember the way he stared at her, like she wasn't even Human,"

* * *

><p>Telling everything to Isamu was both a relief, and a terrifying job, but Kaname could hardly keep everything away from him. He was inexplicably involved, ever since he had become a part of Kaname's life, and with his sister a victim of Katsuo, Kaname <em>had<em> to tell him everything.

Isamu surprised him by appearing already aware of what he was saying.

"We've heard many things about Vampires doing these things to Humans," he said calmly, "It's passed over even _our_ village, because it's becoming such a big deal. Vampires can't be put to fairytales anymore. Mama has come to terms with it. We can't ignore you anymore,"

"Isamu, I'm not like Katsuo-"

"Oh hell, I know _that_!" Isamu yelled, whacking him on the arm. Kaname marvelled at how hard he could hit now. It actually _stung_, "What I'm saying is that Humans have to step up. We've started fighting back, Kaname. Every time I see a Vampire, I see you, Kaname. It hurts when I fight them, but we have to protect ourselves,"

"Fight them then. I'm fighting with you," Kaname said, smiling now, "My people who follow me share the same feeling as I do. Humans cannot be slaves. It's wrong. We're going to destroy Katsuo,"

"Good," Isamu nodded, "I'm glad you're with us Kaname. It makes me feel much more confident, I have to confess,"

"But how will the villagers react to seeing me again? They won't believe I'm on your side,"

Isamu's smile strained a little, and pain drifted into his eyes, "No. They might not. But you're our only hope, Kaname. We're desperate for help. Maybe they will accept you, now that we need you,"

Kaname nodded doubtfully. He was aware of his actual fear of the villagers, now that he knew the bitter taste of their rejection. The pain of being thrown out by the people who had loved him, and he had cherished, still hurt him to this day.

Isamu placed a hand on his shoulder, a soothing hand which drew Kaname's attention at once. It amazed him that after all this time, Isamu still had this effect on him, which made him feel so happy and calm all the time. The burdens on him were made lighter for a moment, when he stared into Isamu's eyes.

"Kaname, there's something else. Not to do with all this enslaving thing… it's to do with me,"

"Hmm?" he wrapped Isamu's arm around himself, securing him against himself as some sort of security blanket.

"It's my duty, as Saburo's son, you see,"

"Hmm," he grunted. Isamu's voice was vibrating right behind his left ear. It was so comforting that Kaname felt his eyes drawing shut.

He completely missed the rather nervous expression on Isamu's face.

"I'm married,"

If there was a sound to describe the emotion Kaname felt at that moment, it would be the mournful howl of a lone wolf, or the piercing cry of an eagle. His comfortable mood was shattered. He twisted in Isamu's arms to see his friend's frightened face. Why was he frightened? Kaname didn't know. Was it his emotions leaking into his face? Kaname didn't feel murderous, or angry though. He just felt… empty. He felt like he had been punched unexpectedly in the stomach, and the blow was still holding him in a dizzying grip.

What were these feelings pouring out of him? He could barely categorise them into proper describing words.

Isamu was married.

He should be congratulating his friend. Marriage, he had heard, was one of the greatest things in life. It was the binding contract between two individuals that made them promise to love each other eternally. Kaname should be laughing with Isamu right now, teasing his blushing cheeks (since his face _was _red), and asking who the bride was, what she was like…

But he felt so _empty_.

And Isamu, though he was quite close beside him, felt like he was a million miles away.

He couldn't feel the warmth of his body.

"Kaname,"

"I'm fine," he answered mindlessly, pushing all his emotions under the imaginary rug in his mind, he forced his face to be neutral as he turned to Isamu's expectant face again. "That's good,"

Kaname could have hit himself at how cold he was being to Isamu. The boy – no, the _man_'s face twisted into a grimace.

"I _know_, Kaname. It's awful. I should have told you, but…well. We haven't had the chance to see each other really, have we?"

"No we haven't," Kaname shook his head. He restrained himself from biting his lip, knowing Isamu would take it as some sort of anger or sadness on his part. He couldn't let Isamu know what he was feeling.

"Saburo got me to do it," Isamu said quickly, almost like he was putting the blame childishly on his own father. Kaname cracked a humourless smile. "And I'm his _son_, Kaname. There are responsibilities expected of me. I have to get married, and carry on the family line,"

Kaname shut his eyes, trembling.

"She's a nice girl, actually. Very kind and agreeable. I think you'd get on well with her-"

_I don't want to meet her. _He felt the space between them growing. Who was this girl that Saburo had chosen? A random girl off the street? No, Saburo wouldn't be so careless. She had to be someone well-respected in the village. But Kaname couldn't guess which one of the girls it had been. He couldn't remember their faces. All he could see was little Isamu, dragging him away to go play in the mud.

"- she was just as reluctant to marry _me_, Kaname. Don't think that she was eager. We were both expected to-"

_How can anyone not want to marry you?_

Oh please stop talking.

_**I don't want to know!**_

"Isamu, I'm happy for you," he said stoically, even as he screamed at himself to smile, to wink at Isamu, make the tension _drop_, his face wouldn't move. It was like the muscles in his face had frozen, knowing any movement would reveal all the storming emotions in his heart. "I think I have to go, now,"

"Kaname…" Isamu breathed. He couldn't look at him. Even though he had done nothing wrong at all, there was an apology in his eyes, in every movement he made towards Kaname. Kaname gently stepped back. There was a gap between them now. He stepped back again.

"The others are waiting for me. I have to go," the excuse sounded lame to him, even to his own ears. But he was stinging from all sorts of emotions whipping through him. _Isamu's married. He's bound to someone forever for lov-_

"Kaname, _please_!"

He shuddered, stepping backwards onto the dirt path. He knew what he was feeling – betrayal. Like the villagers had shut him out of their lives, suddenly he was again being thrown from a place special to him. Could he ever be as special to Isamu again? He was pushed out of place, the special place in Isamu's heart, but like a cruel twist of fate, he was still holding Isamu in his heart – above everyone else.

But Isamu had a wife now, he had someone else who he had to love.

**Love**.

Kaname ran.

* * *

><p>Isamu growled at the insensitivity of Kaname's back, turned against him. <em>That idiot Vampire<em>. Did he not understand how he was feeling at all? It had been his own father who had betrayed his heart. Saburo knew that Isamu felt indifferent to those around him. In the years into his adolescence, he hadn't looked at the girls like the other boys had. He didn't even look at _boys_ in that way (which Saburo was slightly grateful for). He had built a bubble around him that few could enter, and alienated his own peers from him.

Saburo however, tore down the walls of his protective bubble, and shot him with the responsibility of marriage, and carrying on the Kiryuu line. He was his son. He owed him that much.

By then, Isamu was a shell of his former self. He could barely be called argumentative anymore, let alone talkative. Saburo saw that his mind was consumed with someone, who was so far away, none of them knew if he was even alive anymore. He hated what Kaname had done to Isamu, just like Masuyo, he was hung up over him. Nothing else seemed important to him anymore. He was easy to manoeuvre.

Isamu had been married in the most unloving circumstances – in the tiny run-down church, with a wife he didn't know and only their parents for their witnesses.

They were living together by the next week, and ever since then, Isamu had grown fonder of her as a friend, but he didn't love her.

Marriage was meant to be loving.

He mourned the heartless, frigid relationship. They were friends now, he got on well with her. But she silently hated him for stealing her opportunity for falling in love, and he also loathed the place she had stolen in his life.

_What about Kaname?_ he always asked himself, during the lonely periods, when he thought he was being abandoned to a loveless life. He cherished the bright memories of his life with Kaname, when life was easy – they sparkled like precious gems in his mind.

He would immediately shake off the comparison of that life to his married life. What was the connection? Kaname was a friend, not a spouse. Their love could not compare.

And now Kaname was turning his back on him.

Isamu had seen all the emotions of fear, longing, despair and **jealousy** in Kaname's eyes, and his heart had throbbed with the mirror of his heart laid before him. They felt the same.

It dawned on him. Kaname was hurting just the same, as if _he_ had been married against his will.

He ran after him, catching him by the back of his hair. Kaname squawked as he was tugged backwards by the irate Human.

"You bloody nuisance!" Isamu yelled, turning him and shaking him. It was amusing how much their roles had reversed – Kaname storming off in a sulky rage, with him going after him. "I get how you feel, I_ do_, Kaname. Don't you see how I feel too?"

The Vampire's eyes were widened, and to Isamu's relief, the faux stoic mask on his face fell away in pieces, as Kaname saw his very turmoil reflected in Isamu's face.

They both were panting, as though they had run much further than they had.

And their breaths mingled and fogged in a mist of warm, moisture on their faces.

He felt like pulling back, like denying what he knew was changing between them. Change had almost ruined them too many times already. The idea of that was _terrifying _again…

But soon enough, it was as if they had leaned too far, and their noses bumped.

Lips found each other in the mist.

Kaname shut his eyes as the moist warmth consumed him. Only their lips were touching, but goose bumps had erupted all over his skin, and he had to steady himself on Isamu's shoulders. It was instincts that moved him, as he tilted his head, slanting their faces so their lips slotted together, and he pulled Isamu forwards, feeling like the moment was right.

He had seen lovers do this before. At night, in the shelter of their supposedly empty tent, he had seen Kenshin and Hiroshi touch lips in the dark like this. Daisuke said that it was because they were lovers that the blood they shared was enough. There was nothing as satisfying as drinking the blood of the one you loved.

The thought of what Isamu's blood would taste like leaked into his mind, and it was that thought that made him snap backwards, breaking their contact.

Immediately he saw the effects on Isamu's face. His pale face was flushed dark red, and he was smiling. Kaname touched his lips. He was smiling too.

"Have you… Have you done that, with _her_?" he found himself stammering, still pressing his fingertips to his lips softly, marvelling at how warm they felt.

Isamu's smile drifted slightly, he nodded quickly.

Kaname's mood dipped too, a little, but he realised that from what he saw on Isamu's face, it looked like it was the first time _this_ had had this effect on him too. This brightened him up, and he leaned forwards to do it again, wanting to really feel Isamu's lips, so he could put them to memory.

Isamu met him halfway, and his arms wound around Kaname's neck, tugging him even closer so their bodies were melded together. He began to feel dizzy, clutching at Isamu and clinging to his waist, twisting their lips so he could feel the dry cracked texture of Isamu's lower lip and soothed it with his tongue, and the soft moist seam of the crack of his mouth between his lips. He inhaled their mingled breath, groaning. With the perfect mixture of their scents, Kaname felt like this was what he had wanted for some time.

They only parted when Isamu began to tug at his hair again, gasping for breath once their lips were freed from each other. Kaname relished that he looked so happy, so _blissful_ at that moment, and it was because _he_ had kissed him. They realised they had fallen during kissing, dizzy from the feeling, they had collapsed onto the grass, with Kaname lying on top of Isamu.

Then they began to laugh, quietly, with their eyes only on each other. What was this feeling? Kaname leaned to kiss Isamu again, this time wanting to taste him, but Isamu dodged him this time, laughing as he licked his hand.

"Kaname!" he scolded, wiping his saliva-coated hand on the grass.

They rolled onto their backs on the grass, with their sides pressed against each other still.

If he could be like this forever… he would happily lie here forever…

Kaname curled around Isamu, shifting so he was again half-lying on him. Isamu was big now, he didn't have to worry about crushing him.

He closed his eyes, treasuring their bliss.

"I can't stop it," he murmured.

"Hmm?" Isamu grunted, sliding his fingers to mesh with his, making Kaname beam.

"Thinking of you. I've never been able to stop,"

"You never came by until now," Isamu sniped, quirking his lip when Kaname burrowed his face into him in apology. "But me too. I just couldn't stop. Maybe that's why Saburo made me do it,"

The mention of _his_ name suddenly cut through their mood.

"It's been and done. There's nothing we can do about it. It doesn't even matter, I swear," Kaname mumbled rapidly against his skin, as if he was chanting a prayer to cover the taboo that had been uttered, "To me it doesn't matter if you're married. I still have you, Isamu,"

"It matters to me. She's a good girl, Kaname. You know that if we... if we... become _this_, I'll push her to second place without a glance. It'll be you and only you that I care about, but she doesn't deserve that. She deserves to be loved,"

Isamu's hand became loose in his, even as Kaname squeezed it, panicking as he began to feel _responsibility_ dragging Isamu away again. Obligations to his wife…

"I don't care," he insisted, "We'll share you. I don't mind, even if I get the smaller half of you. Or even if I barely see you. I _need_ to have you, Isamu _please_…"

But Isamu shook his hand free.

"Come with me, Kaname," Isamu said, pulling them back onto their feet. "I have to go back to the village. It's where I belong. And we need to show them that you're here, and willing to help us,"

Kaname watched as the blissful moment they had weaved got slowly unravelled and their duties began to peak through again. He had said he would protect the Humans. He had promised Isamu that he would help them.

_Come with me, Kaname_…

It was amazing, he thought, that if he heard those words from Isamu's lips, there was no way he could bring himself to turn them away, even if his heart throbbed, missing how loving and tender they had been one moment, and how the call of duty blew it all away.


	50. MEMORY: Creation of the Vampire Hunters

**Author's note:**

**frickin 50 chapters guys! can you see 100 just at the horizon? ^^**

* * *

><p>The trip to the village was awkward, with Kaname wringing his hands as he walked, hoping Isamu would just take them in his and kiss him again, or that he would at least snap out and whack him on the head for being a sappy fool. It pleased Kaname to no ends that Isamu had said <em>he<em> would win over his wife, if it came to a contest of love. But that Isamu had then turned away in stony silence and not spoken to him since upset him greatly. Also, he had said that he _couldn't_ be lovers with him for just that reason – his wife was apparently too good a person to be hurt that way.

Kaname's blood boiled with jealousy. Who was this woman? Was she really so important to Isamu that he couldn't bear to hurt her? _No_, his instincts told him, it was not that. It was probably Isamu's own guilty conscience for betraying his wife, by loving Kaname, which stopped him in his tracks.

Everything was so _complicated_.

"I wish we could go back in time," he said softly, hesitant to break the silence.

At first he thought that Isamu would continue to ignore him, since they walked along still, without him even glancing back at Kaname.

But then he spoke.

"It's foolish to dwell on the past,"

"Well I can't help it, the past was so simple and care-free-"

"It was _not_ so simple and 'care-free', Kaname. Are you blind? Do you not remember your struggle with your thirst?" Isamu looked back _then_, his face emotionless but his eyes weary, "I've had many regrets, but the biggest one I have is that I didn't let you feed from me,"

Kaname's mouth ran dry. His traitorous bloodlust crept back into vision, with his fangs begging to feel the texture of Isamu's skin under them, his tongue longing to taste – what was he saying…?

"Had I let you quietly drink my blood, instead of making you promise never to drink it, so many complications could have been avoided. You wouldn't have had to steal the cows, or the villagers' blood. You'd have had my permission too, so your conscience would be clear,"

"Never apologise for that, Isamu," Kaname breathed, lunging to grasp his hand in his, "It was perfectly reasonable, what you made me promise. Even _now_, **especially** now, I know that it was the right thing to say," _If I got a taste of you, would I be able to resist _devouring_ you?_

"No it wasn't!" Isamu barked, tearing away again, "It was selfish, and childish! We could have saved you then. Your secret wouldn't have been revealed, and then you wouldn't have had to leave…"

He couldn't stand seeing Isamu's face like that, contorted in grief at the time stolen from them, time where they in better circumstances should've been together, all because of the mistake that night. It made him yearn again, wishing that they could go back and correct that **mistake**, that he could reign his control, stronger this time, and not give into merciless bloodthirst. _He licked her throat, and she began to scream, all the villagers soon were screaming…_

"Isamu," he murmured, pulling him by the arm, reeling him in like a whip. Isamu's troubled face just broke his heart. "My love, it wasn't you who did this. I have a feeling that if I ever was to drink your blood, I would not be able to stop,"

Isamu bit back a sob, wrapping his arms around Kaname tightly. Was it wrong for him to love Kaname like this? Half his life he had waited for him to return, after leaving him as a child when he had loved him like a brother. Now he loved Kaname like a partner, the love he should feel for his wife. Love was twisted. It didn't make sense to Isamu, that after all this time, it could spring up on them and draw them close together, like the distance they'd been apart had never existed.

"We must go," he managed to spit out, shuddering as Kaname pressed a kiss to his temple.

"Alright, then we'll go," the Vampire agreed, chewing on his lip as he contemplated what he could do to cheer them up. Isamu would likely kill him for it.

Still, the temptation won out over him, and Kaname bent down, grasping Isamu's waist, he heaved him onto his shoulders, amazed that he was still light like a child. Isamu shrieked, beating him with his fists. These little comforts made everything easier. He barked out a loud laugh, leaping back onto the path with his cargo screaming at him, he ran.

* * *

><p>When they arrived at the village, though, they were definitely not well received.<p>

Kaname barely reached the gates when the villagers sprang from the surrounding bushes, and it wasn't a happy surprise – there were weapons in their hands – weapons Kaname had not expected them to own. Guns were pointed at him, knives, daggers, and humble pitchforks from the farmers' shed. He froze in panic, trying to understand what the villagers were all screaming at him.

Clearly they hadn't forgotten him.

"Kaname, put me down!" Isamu yelled from behind his back, beating on his shoulder.

But Kaname's instincts told him differently. He couldn't control himself, his body or his expression, which was growing more hostile by the second. In his eyes, they were threatening not just him, but _Isamu_. His fangs grew without hesitation and he bared them, hissing like a snake through his teeth and narrowing his eyes to menacing slits.

"For god's sake, _put me down_!"

He couldn't hear Isamu, and just gripped his thighs more tightly, not even hearing his pained yelp. _Keep him close. Keep him safe_-

However, he could hear both of them screaming when a strong force pulled Isamu _away_.

Spinning around, he roared, seeing two villagers holding Isamu and disappearing quickly into the crowd. As he lunged after them, a net was thrown. For a few minutes Kaname thrashed about, unable to see a thing with the netting pressing right on his face. Something inside Kaname was screaming at him that he

_was strong enough. You're stronger than __**all **__of them, Kaname. You just have to let go. __**Let go-**_

but Kaname pushed this voice down, inside him. With it came the immense sensation of **power**. Not the same power that Kenshin, or Hiroshi had, but an **all-encompassing **_**power**_. It sizzled his skin, steaming through his pores. He felt like he could move mountains, snap the cords on the net like they were nothing more than spider webs-

It frightened Kaname, so he shut it all off and decided to fight with his bare strength. At least that was measurable. At least it was controlled.

Even then, six men were on him, and he was still able to buck them off, one by one.

Kaname was torn between seizing the fearsome power to get to Isamu, or letting himself be contained and **not kill anyone**. These were the villagers he was trying to protect.

The fight left his body.

"_Get him in the cell!"_

He let them drag him into the village, closing his eyes in shame. Why couldn't anything be simple? Just choosing whether to fight for his safety or surrender to these people he wanted to protect. He felt like a weird mixture of a failure, and a martyr – surely Isamu would be proud of his control. He hadn't hurt anyone. They were all safe. It was _him_ in the ropes, being dragged off to god knows where.

"_Put him with_ her!"

Flinching from the sudden cold, he opened his eyes, meeting with the same darkness. They were indoors, and the cold stone floors were bitingly cold. The two thugs dragging him were less than careful, letting every corner catch him on the head, or bump him in the thighs. A multitude of bruises blossomed and healed during the trip down to the cell.

"_Double-chain him_!_ He's strong!_"

They ruthlessly threw him into the cell, a few other men watching him crash into the hard floor and groan. These men cautiously untied the net, he saw several swords trained on him, but barely moved a muscle. He didn't want to provoke them. Truthfully, he wasn't even afraid. Logic told him if he could heal in seconds, any beatings they gave him couldn't kill him. Kaname's doleful eyes gazed at his captors blearily as they strung him up onto the wall, clasping thick shackles on his wrists and ankles, and even put a thick metal ring collar around his neck like he was a beast. After spitting at him, beating him some, they left in silence.

They hadn't spoken a word to him. He guessed, since he recognised them, that they because they knew him personally, his betrayal still stung. It was completely understandable. He had put them in danger. There had to be a grudge.

He hung from his chains, blank-faced, unfeeling.

Was there any other welcome he should've expected from people he had betrayed, from people who had chased him out of his home?

Kaname bit his lips worriedly. What if Isamu was in trouble again? He had been carried by Kaname, but by the time they were reaching the village, he was completely compliant and friendly about it – resting on Kaname, twisting back to talk to him. If the villagers had seen that, they would think he was a traitor too, wouldn't they?

The urge to break out grew in his belly again, hot like a burning magma chamber.

But when he lifted his head, he caught sight of someone he had not expected.

Sitting on the floor, with a round belly, smiling at him woefully.

"Lady…"

* * *

><p>"Kaname, I'm glad to see you well," she whispered. He winced at the hoarseness of her voice, the state she was in… in chains like he was. How could she be a danger? She was clearly with child! Kaname began to writhe in his chains.<p>

"What are you doing here?" he yelped, horrified. As he squinted even more in the darkness, he could pick out that there were rips in her clothes, and she had blood stains on her face. Had she been beaten? The anger was coiling-

"I came to warn the Humans. Katsuo is planning to come in this direction. He wants to claim all these Humans, but I remembered that this place is special to you. They're your friends, aren't they?"

"They were once," he nodded. "But how could he let you go?"

"I snuck out, Kaname. _Of course_ he didn't let me go. Are you daft? I'm pregnant!"

"Are _you_ daft? This is so dangerous! Are you alright? Is the baby fine?"

"He's healthy, and I'm fine. I think Vampire wombs are particularly tough. There's no reason to worry,"

"Were you beaten?"

She shot him an exasperated look, running her eyes over his own dishevelled appearance, "Hardly. But the ride down here isn't exactly pleasant, is it?"

Kaname felt sick. How could the Humans do this? Had she been dragged down to the cell like him? He couldn't stand thinking about what she had to go through. Though Lady liked to act tough, going through pregnancy was enough to make anyone weaker and more vulnerable. It must've been hell, especially because even though she invested so much faith in her tough Vampire womb, there was a chance her baby could've been lost.

"Why did you come? No. Why aren't you_ leaving_? I know you can,"

Lady was powerful, Kaname knew that much. He had heard many tales of her strength from Kenshin's gossip. That she had once wrestled a rogue bull to the ground when it charged, or that she could melt objects – even if they weren't metal.

"Why aren't _you_ leaving?"

Kaname flexed his wrists. The metal was thick, but the confident voice in him spoke again, and he suddenly knew that these shackles were barely stronger than paper for him. He _could_ rip out of them easily.

He threw a begging look at Lady. She knew what it meant. He wasn't leaving if she didn't. She sighed.

"You are so stubborn, Kaname," she groaned, "I'm staying because I have something to do,"

"I'm staying because I want to know what that is. As far as I'm concerned, _now_ you are my enemy. You chose to send me my way, and you chose to stay behind with _him_,"

Lady threw him a look which made Kaname bow his head, realising he had spoken out of turn. It wasn't the right thing to do, provoking a friend in the same situation as himself.

"Kaname, do you know the current standing the Humans have against us?"

He shook his head.

"There are lots of them, far more than we anticipated, but they're so _weak_. We're crushing them like they're nothing more than insects. Katsuo's gone, he's just _completely_ **gone**. I can't reach him Kaname. This fight isn't a fight anymore, it's a massacre,"

He shuddered at her trembling voice, joining her in her tears.

"I…You know I was born by them…" she hiccupped. Kaname yearned to hold her.

"The Humans," he supplied, "You were born by Human parents?"

"Yes. Don't ask me how, or why. It just happened that I was born a Vampire and they were Human. But they never shunned me for it. They loved me, in fact, and gave their lives to protect me. I feel so guilty, _you can't imagine _how much. I've done terrible things with Katsuo, to the Humans. I've watched villages, just like the one I came from, be totally ransacked, no one left alive. I feel tired, Kaname. I feel sick. After all this, I owe them a debt, and that will be my life,"

Kaname understood completely the feeling of _owing a debt_. The very reason why he was staying bound and not fighting back, was his debt to the Humans. Maybe they would beat him some more, take their anger and hate out on him. Perhaps it would ease some of the guilt off of him.

But Lady… he didn't like to see her like this. She may have a debt to pay, but she was _with child_. Did that mean nothing to her?

"Your child," he croaked. "Will it die too?"

She smiled tearfully at him, "Not if you save him. My plan is thus – the Humans said they will take me to the blacksmith's soon. I don't know if you've seen it, but apparently they've built me a cage.

"I am going to sacrifice myself, Kaname. Unfortunately, it's the only way," she held his teary gaze, "I'll give them my blood. It holds power. I don't know how I will give it to them. Maybe I'll manage to feed it to them, somehow? I don't know at all. That is my gift to them, though. They can use my blood as a weapon.

"When I do it, when I die, you'll feel it – you'll probably smell it in the air. Break out of these chains, Kaname. Take my child out of my body and raise him well,"

He gulped, nodding at her words, and lowering his head again to hide his snivelling face. Again, she was tasking him with something important, something he didn't know if he could do. But there was no choice in the matter. He had a part to play in this.

"Why can't it be me? Why can't _I_ sacrifice myself?" he tried to ask, but Lady simply shook her head.

"Whatever happens next, Kaname, your job is to kill Katsuo,"

"Lady!" he cried, "He's your love-"

"Love isn't enough," she barked, voice hard as stone, "Kaname, you cannot fail me. Katsuo must die,"

Katsuo must die.

**Katsuo must die**.

Only now did Kaname realise the significance of these words. It meant that he, who had never killed anything, other than _cows_, was going to have to kill one of the most powerful Vampires he had ever met.

He shook his head slowly.

"Sometimes, Lady, I think you ask too much of me,"

"That's because I do," she laughed bitterly. "But I can trust no one else,"

"Sometimes I think I cannot do enough," he confessed, unable to look at her anymore, "I don't even feel like a Vampire sometimes. Is that because I lived with Humans for so long? Things that come naturally to Daisuke, and the others, don't come naturally to me. I have to learn. I have to try. Is that even normal for one of us?

"Before, I felt this **power**, but it frightened me, and I shunned it. I was tempted to give into it, but at the same time, I hated the wild feelings it gave me. I felt so _angry, _and _**hungry**__,_ but not in the usual way… Is that who I am? Is that who I'm supposed to be?"

"Kaname, my darling, you're meant to be our saviour. From the moment I saw you I felt an immense power, yes, but also amazing **potential**. It's that special thing that only you have. I gave into it when I fell in love with Katsuo – Vampires have a tendency to be attracted to power. You, however, could care less about it.

"It bothers you, yes, but you don't let it consume you. That's what I admire about you, Kaname. You aren't naturally as greedy as the rest of us. Maybe that's because you have all the power you need. Don't think of it as cowardice from a greater power. You're being clever. Power only brings a lust for more power. It's a tragic cycle,"

There was no one who could talk him back up like Lady. Everything she said made sense to him, and soothed his fears.

He craned his neck up to smile at her appreciatively, but his rather small positive moment faded at what he saw.

Lady was weeping, curled up as much as she could with the weight pressing down on her stomach. Her chained hands were shaking as she straightened her arms as much as she could, reaching, _reaching_,_** reaching **_as far as she could. Her fingers trembled and a sob burst out of her lips.

Kaname could just see under the thin fabric on her abdomen, the lump was pulsing, a tiny leg was kicking inside her womb, probably troubled from the negativity he felt from his mother.

As hard as she tried, her shackled hands could not reach her baby.

* * *

><p>Kaname and Lady were dragged back out of the cell when the sun was rising. The sudden cliché of the moment almost made Kaname smirk, but he instead kept his face solemn, so as to not provoke the Humans, and he kept his eyes solidly on Lady's back. She wasn't crying anymore. It had been a horrible night, watching her trying as much as she could to reach her baby, only to be restrained by the shackles. Why didn't she break out of them? Kaname didn't know. Maybe even she didn't realise how pointless her struggle was.<p>

They were marched towards the blacksmith's, and just like Lady had said, there was a cage roughly built with old pipes and chewed metal. Kaname did smirk then. Did they think that pitiful excuse would hold her? If Lady wanted to escape from that cage, she could just _sneeze_ and the thing would fall apart, he was sure of it. That cage was _nothing_.

But Lady wasn't fighting. She didn't struggle as she was brought to the front of the cage.

"The way to kill Vampires…" the ringleader of the Human group called, drawing all attentions to himself. He was short and wild-eyed, grinning menacingly at them all, "Does anyone know the way?"

"Stab them with stakes in their hearts? Rip off their heads?" another man suggested. And then the whole Human crowd began to throw in ideas. Kaname's ears rang with the sound.

Each suggestion was complete rubbish.

Kaname had never felt so invincible in his life before. He was certain that, despite their ardent solutions to dealing with Vampire-slaying, he would survive any bodily harm without a scratch. Even the "ripping their heads off" suggestion – Kaname could see himself growing a new head easy.

Still, he waited for Lady to make her move patiently.

All of a sudden, she went for it.

Darting faster than the slow blink of a Human's eye, she melted the shackles off and tore the knives from the guards holding her, and launched herself up on top of the cage. The Humans screamed, but even as they aimed and fired bullets at her, she still stood strong. Kaname watched in awe as she boldly stood before the Humans. The bullet marks were barely insect bites to her.

"Listen carefully," she called, "I can kill you all in an instant. Did you even see me move?"

The Humans fell silent. Kaname even felt his guards let go of his arms in surrender.

Was this what she had meant, that the Humans were weak? Did they surrender as easily as this? He could feel a thousand frightened eyes on him, as well as Lady, as if judging his strength to hers. It was a sexist judgement that he was stronger than her, as a man, but in this case it was true, according to Lady. He was stronger than her. He held his head high.

"You must all listen to what I say-"

"Stop!" a voice yelled, breaking through the crowd. Kaname's heart caught in his throat.

"Isamu!" he cried, turning to see him running into the scene. To his relief, he looked unharmed, but his eyes were red-rimmed. They fell on Kaname, and his body also seemed to relax slightly in relief. He shot a quick smile at him before turning back to the crowd.

"I heard what they discussed last night, and I know that they mean us no harm. I brought Kaname here because he wants to help us-"

"You _brought __**him**__ here?_" another familiar voice exclaimed. Saburo. He had shrivelled over the years, in age. His face was pinched, red in rage as he glowered at his son. "You betrayed us **again**, son?"

"Kaname's our friend!" Isamu insisted, "He always has been. And he's always tried to protect us. _That_ over there is his friend, who wants to sacrifice herself to us. They're doing everything to help us, you _must _see reason! Not all Vampires are bad!"

Saburo strode over towards Isamu, but pulled back when he saw Kaname immediately break his shackles at his movement, his eyes trained on him in warning.

The old man spat at them, raising his fingers at Kaname.

"You've _lost_ your sense of reason, boy. Ever since you fell in love with **him**,"

Isamu trembled, backing into Kaname's waiting arms. The villagers all jeered as Kaname wrapped his arms around him tenderly, shielding him from the biting remarks they received. Cold water from the slack tub was thrown at them, missing by several yards.

The way Saburo had spoken was like a slap to the face. Isamu had hoped that among the hostile faces, the people he knew so well that changed into an angered mob at the sight of a Vampire, his father would have enough sense to not fear Kaname. He remembered when he had told Saburo everything. He hadn't reacted badly at all, but then again, Isamu realised, he hadn't really reacted at all. Perhaps he had mistaken Saburo's silence as acceptance.

But whatever was in the past, what he had said now cut deeply. He knew Saburo wasn't fond of the idea of male lovers. When two of the village boys had revealed themselves, Saburo was one of the people who joined in the laughter, when the boys were humiliated in the streets.

This was the second time Isamu had been shown how cruel Humans could be, and this time it was by his own father. When Humans didn't understand something, or were frightened, they reacted with violence and often cruelty.

Kaname folded himself around Isamu, feeling the way his body shrank from his father's stinging words.

"Did you say that she was going to sacrifice herself?" another man yelled, pointing at Lady who still stood perched on the edge of the cage. "Well _go on _then. Kill yourself,"

"I am paying a debt," Lady barked, intimidating the man backwards a few steps. "As you heard from your Human there, I am trying to protect you. Once you've gotten over your prejudice to us Vampires, you might look back and see that we were telling the truth,"

She hopped off the cage nimbly, walking towards Kaname slowly. The villagers tensed, raising their weapons again, but lowering them when they realised how futile it was.

Lady whipped around, shooting them with such a disgusted look that they even looked ashamed.

"That's what I was saying earlier. I can kill you in an instant. You Humans are weak. My gift to you is my blood. Drink it if you will, and see the results for yourselves. My blood is powerful, and I can guarantee it will make you stronger,"

Kaname's head snapped up. Since when was Lady so sure? He tried to catch her eye, asking her with his, where her confidence had come from?

Was it confidence, or was it desperation?

He narrowed his eyes as Saburo again moved to approach him, sneering when he backed off at the sight of his fangs.

Saburo wasn't looking at him though, his eyes were on Isamu.

"If you trust the Vampires so much, boy, then I nominate you as the first one to drink her blood," he called, his voice growing louder as the crowd began to cheer, "Come on! If you really believe they're all good, and trying to help us, **go ahead**!"

Kaname paused, tightening his grip on Isamu as he began to pull out of his embrace. Why was Saburo goading Isamu? Did he really want the proof? Or did he know something else about Vampire blood, something in the folklore Isamu used to read to him…

"I will,"

He gasped as Isamu prised himself from his hold, turning and walking over to Lady with poise.

Lady lowered herself to a crouch on the top of the cage, holding her arms out to him.

Kaname watched as she whispered something into his ear. Isamu jerked back, surprise on his blushing face, he shot a glance to Kaname, and then pulled something out of his pocket.

He squinted to see what the tiny object was, gasping again as he recognised it.

It was the tiny syringe he had used before, to draw blood out of the villagers.

Isamu had been carrying it around with him, _in his pocket,_ as some sort of keepsake.

Lady took the syringe carefully and pressed it into her arm, extracting the blood and holding it out to Isamu again.

Suddenly Kaname was afraid. They didn't know if it would work. They didn't know what the effects were. What if Isamu's body rejected the blood, or he was poisoned by it?

He opened his mouth to speak, just as Isamu plunged the needle in his arm.

They all watched him as he squeezed the blood into his own bloodstream.

Kaname held his breath.

Isamu raised his head, holding the syringe back to Lady. He turned to the villagers proudly, "I am unharmed,"

"Do you feel a change?" a woman called.

He tilted his head thoughtfully, rolling his shoulders a bit and flexing his feet.

"Not really, I-"

Then Isamu choked. Kaname's heart dropped.

He fell like a sack onto the floor and began convulsing. Kaname screamed racing towards him, but Saburo got to him faster, rolling him onto his side and holding down his flailing limbs as he went into a fit. Everyone watched as Isamu curled up into a writhing mess on the floor, shuddering and shaking, his eyes rolling back and mouth agape.

It looked like he was dying.

Kaname watched for what seemed like forever.

Until the shaking stopped, and Isamu was still lying there, still.

Saburo shook his son. He didn't move.

The villagers began to murmur, eyeing Lady, who was looking down at them all from her perch. She seemed untroubled, drawing out another syringe full of her blood. This made Kaname feel like he had been betrayed again. What if she had been lying? Maybe this was all a hoax, and Lady had been working for Katsuo all along. Maybe she was killing the Humans in another way-

Then Kaname remembered something.

Lady and Katsuo did _experiments_ on Humans.

Lady knew exactly what she was doing.

At that moment, Isamu heaved a huge breath. They gasped, watching him sit up so slowly, breathing laboured and skin sweaty. He looked like he had woken from the dead. The fact that he naturally had snowy pale skin only emphasised his closeness to death.

Then Isamu nodded, slowly, thoughtfully, as if the last few seconds had happened and he was still considering the woman's question.

"I _do_ feel different actually," he drawled. Kaname had an urge to slap him for sounding so nonchalant about it all. "For one, I can sense _them_," he nodded towards Kaname and Lady. He could sense Vampires. "It's strange. I can see them, _and_ I can feel them,"

"That's useful," Saburo said, a few of the villagers agreeing quietly.

"I feel good," Isamu said, jumping to his feet. Kaname watched him force a smile to his face, "I feel strong. They told the truth, so now it's up to _you_ if you want to do the same,"

The villagers immediately launched themselves around the cage, and Lady threw the syringe into the masses, taking the knives she had stolen and cutting them deep into her wrists. She let the blood drain into the hands of the Villagers, watching them mess and smear their faces as they drank her blood.

Kaname was horrified, and entranced, watching them.

It was amazing, the parallels he saw, in that moment, between the Humans and the Vampires. As soon as they had seen and heard Isamu was alright, and even _stronger_, they were attracted to that. Just like the Vampires were attracted to _power_.

Kaname scooped Isamu into his arms, hugging him tightly. He could not say how thankful he was that Isamu was alright. He had doubted Lady's loyalty, which had proved him wrong. She knew he would be alright. He turned to thank her, but froze in horror.

The villagers were climbing onto the cage to get to her. Even Lady looked wary of them, as they crawled towards her with knives in their hands, hungry for her power.

"No!" he cried, hurrying to her, "You've got to stop-"

"Kaname, get back!" Isamu yelled, grabbing him by the arms and quickly leading him away from the fray. He growled, but Isamu persisted in dragging him away from them. "Don't you get it? They're wanting her blood, but they'll think you're the same. They'll do the same to you,"

"I don't care, she's in danger!"

"She _sacrificed_ herself, Kaname. I heard everything down there, in the cell. This is her plan. _You_ have to survive and kill Katsuo, whoever that is. This is the least you can do. You mustn't fail her!"

Kaname struggled a little more, but then he acquiesced, slumping onto Isamu and watching from afar as the masses drained his dear friend of her blood.

It seemed like forever had passed until the crowds fell apart, and he could see her again.

But the sight was sickening.

Lady was covered in blood all over. She was cut in so many places…

Kaname ran over, clambering up the cage to reach her. The bars were sticky with her blood, and it pooled onto the floor, the rich stench of it disgusted him.

"Lady, Lady…"

He fell to his knees.

He hadn't expected to see _that_.

Lady's hand was also drenched in blood, but it was clutching her beating heart.

She gurgled, blood spittle frothing out of her mouth. The gaping hole in her chest had stopped gushing, but she wasn't healing. The Humans had taken _so much blood-_

"Kaname,"

He faced her.

"Take it. Throw it in the vat,"

Kaname clenched his jaw, struggling to take the heart of the dying woman, his Lady who had loved him, like the substitute for the family he'd missed out on.

His eyes watered as he stared into the fire, dropping the heart into the vat of molten metal, watching it's never-ending beating, until the last moment when it melted into the metal.

"Do as I said," she huffed, wincing as she coughed, splattering his face with blood. "Take him," she placed his hand on her stomach. "_Take him_,"

This was too much. There was already blood on his hands, blood from her body, so much of it… He shook his head. He was terrified. Wishing that Isamu was still here, he hopefully cast his eyes aside for help, but he knew that Isamu had been taken away, with the rest of the villagers, indoors to rest with the new blood in them.

_Resting after their meal_.

Kaname groaned, "I can't do it, Lady. I'm scared…"

"Take him," she panted again. It seemed to be the only thing she could say. Her eyes begged him, glossy with tears, and the verge of death. Kaname curled his fingers on her stomach, he could hear the baby's frantic heartbeat with the absence of its mothers to drown it out.

He had no idea what he was doing, but rested his ear on her abdomen, listening for where the baby was. He had to judge it, really quickly. Somehow, he felt like if he failed her, he would regret if forever.

"Kaname,"

Blinking rapidly, he hummed to show he was listening. All of his focus was on finding the baby. He was pretty certain he knew where it was now. All he had to do was reach inside and-

"It seems the only thing that can kill us… is ourselves,"

Kaname immediately turned, "What do you mean by th-"

He spotted her glossy eyes, the tear running down the sides of her gorgeous eyes. These were the eyes that had found him in the dark, and taken him in with their tender love. This was the person who had treasured Kaname like her own little brother, or son, and entrusted him with her greatest secrets and plans.

Her gaze was unfocused, for the first time ever, she looked uncertain in death.

Kaname shut her eyes.

It didn't seem as daunting a task, now that she was dead. Perhaps he had been scared to hear her scream in pain when he plunged his hands into her body to save her child, even though that fear was unfounded – she had been through much more pain than that, from the hungry Humans.

He sliced open her abdomen with his fingertips, cutting into her womb.

The baby was still.

* * *

><p>Hours later, Kaname was still crouched on top of the cage, bowed over her body, in his arms he cradled the tiny child who was just as covered in blood as his mother. He had cried himself out. There were no more tears to shed.<p>

Katsuo found him like this.

Kaname barely even flinched, as his newest, greatest enemy fell beside him, on his knees like he had upon seeing her.

The haunting, animalistic cry that echoed from Katsuo's throat startled him out of his daze.

When he looked up, Katsuo was rocking her body in his arms, his face was scrunched up in unimaginable agony. Kaname felt himself sympathising with him. Even if he was an enemy to Katsuo, he had once been his friend. Besides, Katsuo had loved Lady more than anyone else. They were Bonded together, they had fallen in love together, they even had children together-

Kaname looked down at the pathetic body he held, wrapped up half-heartedly in his own shirt.

Katsuo also turned to look at it, immediately screwing his eyes shut tightly and shuddering a sigh.

"She left me. She didn't even say a word,"

He wiped Lady's tears and blood-smeared face, kissing her lips tenderly.

Kaname choked.

"I know she hated me, but did she think of her children? Did she even realise that they would be left without her?"

"She didn't hate you," Kaname said quietly. He hesitated before wrapping the shirt over the baby's face. He had stared at it enough over the last few hours. He had memorised it. The baby had Katsuo's hair, but his mother's nose. He looked up at Katsuo, "She loved you, so much,"

Katsuo laughed indignantly, dropping her suddenly. Kaname flinched as her skull cracked on the bars.

"She didn't love me enough. _Give me my child!"_

Kaname quickly handed the bundle to him, folding his arms afterwards. Only now did he realise he felt cold without his shirt. He trembled.

Part of Kaname wanted to see what Katsuo was doing, so he looked up.

Katsuo was rocking his baby now, he had unwrapped the shirt to see its face.

He was rocking it and crying, broken sobs.

"Did you see her die? Did you let her do it, knowing she would kill my son too?"

"I tried to save him, really I did-"

"But why is he dead, Kaname? Tell me how he died, when he is like us, and he could have survived her death? You only had to cut him out,"

Kaname ran over what he had done in his head. He had cut through the stomach, and then the womb… was there a chance he had hurt the baby? He really didn't think so. He had been so careful. But he had heard the baby's heartbeat _before_ cutting. After he had cut inside, he had forgotten to check…

He blanched.

"Tell me how she died, Kaname. Was it those Humans? I can't smell them anymore," Katsuo looked manic. If the baby had been alive, it would have been screaming by now from the way he was holding it. "Was it the Humans?"

"Yes," Kaname choked, unable to withhold it. He felt he owed Katsuo at least an explanation for his lover's death. "She sacrificed herself for them,"

"Not for _me_, right?" Katsuo sneered. "She sacrificed herself, and our _innocent baby_ for **them**. Did my son have a chance to live? **No**. He died before he could take his first breaths of air outside the womb, I bet,"

"I tried-"

"My love was so selfless, so caring. She sacrificed herself for a race which shouldn't even _exist_. **I curse them**," Katsuo hissed, "On her blood **I** **curse** **them**! When they _mate_ and have their children, those innocents will have to **fight** to get into this world! They will have to fight to gain the chance to live, just as my baby did,"

Kaname watched Katsuo unravel his son's body from his shirt and place him back in Lady's ripped open womb. He barely looked at Kaname as he lifted Lady's corpse into his arms and leapt off the cage. Katsuo vanished in the dark, probably to bury his dead family.

* * *

><p>When Kaname found Isamu the next day, it was when the other Humans were asleep. He woke him gently, stroking his hair and holding his hand on his mouth so he wouldn't make a sound, just like he had many years ago.<p>

He smiled tiredly at Isamu.

"My love," he sighed, kissing his cheek lovingly, "How do you feel?"

"I'm fine," Isamu grumbled, but kissed him too on his cheek. "Where is she? What happened?"

Kaname shook his head, reaching so he could cup Isamu's face, "She sacrificed herself, Isamu. She gave you her strength,"

Isamu blinked slowly, like he was still waking up. Inside he was tearing himself up with guilt, on behalf of the villagers. They had feasted on her like wild animals, and discarded her like a carcass.

And she was dead. He studied Kaname's expression for any signs of sadness. The Vampire just looked so worn out, his beautiful eyes were shadowed.

"Kaname," Isamu hushed remorsefully, pulling Kaname's head to rest on his shoulder.

Kaname indulged in the warm comfort of his body, delving his nose into his neck to smell his comforting scent. The nightmares of yesterday were still alive in his mind. He wondered what he was going to tell Daisuke and the others when he returned. Katsuo was even more astringent in revenge, fuelled by his personal grudge against the Humans now. Lady was dead. The Humans were stronger from her blood…

How had this all happened in one day?

"Isamu, I must confess, I came here to say goodbye. We have little time now, and I need to return to my people, now more than ever. You have your people here who you have to lead,"

Isamu was hardly surprised by what he had said. He nodded into Kaname's shoulder, using this movement to bury his face into his side.

"I understand,"

"Now, you hopefully have the strength to defend yourselves. I have to give you a mission,"

"Anything," Isamu mumbled, soaking up Kaname's warmth. He was sleepy, but let his ears do all the work, leaning his head against Kaname's chest.

"It's my job to kill Katsuo, but there are his followers we must deal with too. They are just as bad as him, with enslaving Humans. They must be stopped,"

"So, you want us to kill them?"

"Yes. I want you to hunt them down and make them suffer for the sins they have committed," Kaname growled, squashing Isamu to him, "I want you to kill them all. Your people have the gift of strength in their blood now. And…and Lady cast her heart into a vat at the smithy.

"I'm not sure what happened to it, but from what is saw, it melted into the metal. Perhaps it is of some use. I recommend you investigate it,"

"I will," Isamu promised, nodding against his chest again.

Kaname squeezed Isamu in his arms briefly, and then forced himself away from the magnetic pull of Isamu's arms.

He had to go. Leaving Daisuke in charge didn't unnerve him, but with Katsuo on the move, he felt like his people needed him. After all, they had no idea what had just happened.

With a tiny smile, he turned to Isamu.

"Do I even need to say that I feel we'll meet again?"

"Hardly," Isamu laughed, "I will beat you, remember? If you don't come back to me,"

"Be safe, Isamu,"

"Always,"


	51. MEMORY: Vampire Wars PART 1

**Author's note:**

**Oh dear god. I was _SOOO_ frickin nervous updating this chapter!**

**Tell me if you think I moved too fast in ****this chapter. I'm just trying to get back to the main story again. You guys have a point… I'm dying to get back to Zero! **

**So pardon me if I've rushed, I will smooth it over if you say so. **

**I'm just desperate to get this memory arc over! It's so funny to get this vibe from my very own story – I always get impatient watching animes and reading mangas when they get to this point!**

**So I apologise again, bear with me!**

* * *

><p>Could this even be called war?<p>

The fighting was kept small, in groups of no more than thirty, lasting only hours – attacks on Human villages, which they defended from Katsuo's Vampires. The results were mixed and rather pitiful – half a village of surviving Humans who feared the Vampires who had saved them, and half a village taken away by Katsuo to join the Human slave armies.

Daisuke commanded most of the forces now, left behind by Kaname as he went to hunt down the Army Leaders. If he killed them off, then their subservient Human followers would kill themselves. If Kaname had been successful in slaughtering the right Army Leader of the faction Daisuke's troops were fighting, often the Human army would simply collapse. It would be an easy win.

Still, the surviving Humans always feared them, and they'd have to run away quickly, more like shunned vagabonds than wounded heroes, to lick their sorry wounds.

How long had it been since the fight had begun? Kaname couldn't remember. There was no relief, no victory in a war that was at a stalemate – and because of this, spirits were on a constant low. On top of this, the Vampires were getting hungry, and it was getting harder and harder to not submit to the temptation the Humans were. The increased, frantic blood sharing between them meant that their bloods were already mixed. It was they were feeding from themselves (apart for Kaname, who was banned by Daisuke to share his blood, since he thought it was too special and had to be guarded. In rebellion, and to soothe his guilty conscience, Kaname decided to stop feeding altogether, much to Daisuke's protest. It wasn't fair to let his men starve while he went on feeding).

On his solo missions to find the Leaders, he always felt his heart be drawn towards the east, to the two Twin Mountains-

But he would stop himself. There was no time to satisfy his own selfish needs. If he met Isamu, it would happen, and it would probably be during a Human slave raid. If Isamu had been successful in convincing his village to fight for weaker Humans, now that they were stronger; then they almost certainly would meet one day on the battlefield. He just had to be patient, and wait for that day.

One day though, his heart soared when he realised what direction the Leader he was tracking's scent was leading him towards. _Home_. What were the chances? From the faintness of the scent, and the staggered footsteps he tracked, he could tell the Leader _knew_ he was being Hunted, and was likely on the run. This was like a blessing to Kaname.

He felt his cheekbones press upwards to his eyes, and his face warm. What was this strange feeling?

He was smiling.

For so long he hadn't smiled, that he had to pause for a second, just to appreciate the warm feeling of happiness stretching across his face.

This place would forever hold a place in his heart, because although the villagers had made it very clear that he was now unwelcome, this land – these mountains, welcomed him whenever he came home. When he thought of home…

He thought of the solid mountains that shaded him from the sun.  
>The cool rush of a balmy breeze whistling through, unimpeded by any plants taller than the reeds which swept across his kneecaps.<br>A little boy with sparkling white hair, and a laugh so loud and bright, it echoed through the mountains, lively and brash, as if he was challenging the mountains to dance in time to his laughter…

Kaname felt his own breath catch on the breeze when he raised his head to survey the surroundings. It was so _beautiful_ now. The fresh green carpet of thick, spongy grass paved the sides of the dirt path, with small sections of sunlit grass shimmering from the dew. He felt a swell of pride in what he felt was his homeland, how beautiful it had become.

But Kaname's eyes strayed to the one thing that had always caught his breath.

Up ahead, a man walking, his head mostly bowed but he could still make out the top of his white head.

He walked a bit faster, but kept his distance, practically able to see his own scent being carried downwind towards the figure, Isamu jerked his head, recognising his scent.

Kaname burst out laughing, running all the way down to his friend and catching him around the waist, spinning him round like he was a child again.

"Must we always meet in this place?" Isamu groaned, clinging to his shoulders.

"Impossible! How do we always meet like this?" he laughed, dropping backwards onto the grass, Isamu screeching as he was toppled and crashed into his body. "Isamu… Isamu," Kaname cupped his face, pecking his lips and stroking his cheeks. "You look… older,"

Isamu snorted, "Three years, Kaname. Don't you Vampires keep track of the days?"

"Three years, really?" Kaname blinked. He had thought only months had passed, not years. "We Vampires don't take much notice of time passing…"

His eyes were busy inspecting Isamu's face though. It wasn't that he looked _old_, but there were definitely signs of time's changes. His slim and angular face was still the same shape, but his jaw was stronger, sharper. Kaname could see that his body had filled out to match the long, awkward limbs he had grown. There was also an intangible weariness in his face – no wrinkles, or scars, but Kaname could see just from his face that Isamu had already seen too many terrible things in his relatively short life.

"How old are you?"

"Twenty-one,"

"Is that young?"

Isamu laughed, "Quite young, but I'm a man now. _Truly_ a man,"

"Oh?" Kaname quirked his brow, "And what do you mean by that?"

Isamu's smiling lips twitched briefly, "My wife is pregnant,"

That was surprising.

Kaname wasn't innocent, or too naïve that he didn't understand Isamu's implications.

His smile froze, and he nodded curtly, "That's nice, is it yours?"

Isamu's belly heaved with laughter, and he fell on top of Kaname, so he could feel his convulsing stomach. He didn't find it funny at all, but clearly Isamu did. He sighed, waiting awkwardly for Isamu's answer, with a complacent smile on his face.

"That's so rude, Kaname! God! You're lucky I'm the only Human you talk to,"

"Why is it rude?" he tilted his head in confusion. Isamu ruffled his hair.

"You're implying that my wife lies with other men," he said slowly, teasing the knots he had made out of his hair.

"Well, aren't _you_ lying with another man right now? And didn't you say that she doesn't love you, and that you think she deserves the chance to love… from what you've said, that _implies_ that you have freed her so she can take another lover, despite your marriage?"

Isamu sighed heavily, kissing Kaname's fingertips, "That isn't true, Kaname. The children are mine. Why do you think we married in the first place? It was to pass on our genes, to carry down our family lines. We may not be in love, but we are faithful to each other,"

"_Children_?"

He grinned, "Twins," he carded his hands through Kaname's hair, winding them around his neck, "It's a good thing Kaname. This means I don't have to do _that_ again with her. We will have two children, which is one more than we need. Our families will be happy,"

Kaname heaved a sigh, burying his nose into Isamu's neck. "If I was to take a mate, how would you feel about that?"

"The same as you, I imagine,"

"Just for babies,"

"Oh Kaname, so crude," Isamu crooned into his ear, "How heartless you are. How cruel. You'd take a woman, only for her womb to plant your babies in, and not give her a shred of your heart,"

"Never, my heart is spoken for,"

"You sap,"

Kaname laughed, rolling them over so he could gaze down at Isamu, waggling his eyebrows playfully. "When you said you were faithful to _her_, how faithful must you be?"

Widening his eyes scandalously, Isamu chuckled, "_Not_ a sap then. Saps don't have ulterior motives,"

Kaname sucked in a deep breath, steadying himself,

"I want to make love to you,"

His eyes softened, falling half-lidded as he gazed downwards. Kaname cringed, waiting for an answer he already could see.

"Oh, so you _are_ a sap, Kaname," Isamu whispered, slapping him and smiling softly, "But you know my answer. We can't do that. Unfortunately I am a man of my word, and when we married, I promised her I would be _faithful_. I love you, Kaname, isn't that enough?"

Even though he already knew what he would say, Kaname couldn't help but feel the bitterness of rejection. He dropped on Isamu, so he would not have to see his face.

They shuffled into a comfortable position, grinning when they noticed _exactly_ where they had settled. The lip of the overhanging rock was higher, but the same recognizable angles curved around their heads, just wide enough for both of them to be sheltered under it, if they were lying side-by-side. The child-sized crack (now named "Kaname's SOS Crack" by Isamu), had widened again, now an able size for a man to crouch down and shimmy into, though they would have to walk sideways.

"The ground here is still shifting,"

"Hmm?" Kaname grunted. Isamu slapped him again.

"We're on a tectonic plate that is being pushed upwards, Kaname. It's local geography which _you_ taught me. These mountains are battling to outgrow each other, each of them is being pushed upwards, growing taller year by year. But the rock at the base, where we are, is brittle and cannot bend with the mountain – hence, the SOS crack grows,"

"I wonder what we'll find if we go inside it,"

"You really want to go in there, don't you?" Isamu sniggered, Kaname pouted slightly but nodded, "What's your fascination with it? I still remember that day when I first met you… and your… arm was _stuck_!" he guffawed, struggling to breathe.

"I wasn't trying to get _inside_ it!" Kaname whined, "It was far too small back then,"

"Then what were you trying to do?"

"I was just playing around," he shrugged.

Isamu chortled, "What a cheeky baby," he teased, tugging at Kaname's ear. Kaname wondered when things had changed so that _Isamu_ could be the one to tease _him_. "We'll just have to wait for the ground to shift some more. Maybe the crack will get big enough, and we can go inside it. Okay?"

"No one speaks to me like you do," he mused, rolling onto his back to lie beside Isamu.

"No?" Isamu mumbled, head flopping onto his side, a wild grin on his face, "No one speaks to you like you're a crazy fool? A foolish sap? A sappy idiot? An idiotic-"

"I think _they_ think I'll get angry if they treat me like you do,"

"Ooh, you'll get angry, and then…?"

"They're scared of me, Isamu," Kaname said seriously, turning his head to face him too, "They don't say it, but I can feel it. They don't know me like you do. They're always watching me like I'm a bomb about to burst,"

"Explode, you mean… do you mean to say, that _no one_, not even your friends play around with you?"

"Only you, my love," Kaname said dryly, "Only you treat me like a fool,"

Isamu batted his eyelashes, "I am _honoured_ to belittle you, Kaname. It is my greatest pleasure in life,"

"I think I may need belittling. They treat me far too kind. Always listening to me, doing as I say, waiting on me-"

"Spoiling you? Treating you like a King? Most men wouldn't complain about that,"

"I am not most men,"

"Oh, _definitely_ not. You are a strange one. You're on a whole new level, Kaname, one so high that no one can equal you," Isamu laced their hands together, "You've always been strange, my love, and I mean that in the kindest way,"

Kaname rolled over at that moment, trapping Isamu underneath him, "You are equal to me," he whispered and began to lay kisses all over his face, lighter than a butterfly's wings fluttering against his skin. Isamu writhed, panting rather than laughing, as he usually did when he was tickled. It delighted Kaname that he reacted the same way as he did as a boy, squeezing his eyes shut and beating Kaname with the flats of his hands.

Eventually he relented, and crawled backwards till his chin was settled comfortably in Isamu's stomach. From this view, he could see the flat plane of his chest, the curves of his exposed collarbones which formed a ridge. His clavicle plunged deeply, a hollow which throbbed with the pulse in his throat, that throat which led up towards a long, white neck. Kaname loved how his body was a symphony of sharp ridges and even planes, reflecting the image of the landscape around him, except instead of being cool like the mountain pass, his body was wonderfully warm.

"Why did you come here?" he mumbled, enjoying the bobbing motion of his head as he let it move when he talked, keeping his jaw planted firmly on Isamu's stomach.

"You'll bite your tongue," Isamu warned him, sighing as Kaname snapped his jaws rebelliously, "I'm doing the mission you set me, Kaname. I'm Hunting down the followers, this one is Akiyama-"

"Kenji," Kaname gasped, "I'm Hunting him too,"

Isamu frowned, "Why? You gave _me_ that job,"

"There's so many of them Isamu, and they're working too fast. It's difficult to find Katsuo, almost impossible, so I've decided to at least help with getting rid of these followers. They've already got hundreds of Humans now, and they're turning them into _armies_. These armies are getting in our way when we're trying to defend other Human villages,"

"Our village is ended. Soon after my people drank the blood, many of us who went to rest did not awaken,"

"_What_?" Kaname breathed, blinking as he tried to understand that _some Humans had died drinking the blood_. **Isamu** had drunk the blood…how close had he been to dying?

"I don't know, Kaname. Some of us didn't make it. The change I went through, it was very painful. Maybe it was just too much for some to handle,"

"How many?"

"Sixteen were lost. The rest of us learnt pretty quickly that we can sense Vampires' presences. I can sense you right now, _very strongly_, because you're so close. When we began to sense Vampires coming towards us, I convinced them that we should leave the village. I think it was Katsuo. He was coming back to avenge _her_,"

No wonder.

"Before we left, I did as you asked and checked the vat," Isamu pushed Kaname away, sitting up to reach for his bag that lay discarded to the side of them. He dug through it for a few seconds, then pulling out

a gun.

"We had just enough time to save the metal before it cooled and set. Himura-san (the blacksmith) didn't want to waste it, so he melted it again and cast the metal for weapons. _New_ moulds, Kaname. We've changed _a lot_ from the village you once knew. Weapons aren't so unfamiliar to us anymore,"

Kaname nodded, handling the gun lightly. When he had been handed it, he flinched, feeling to his surprise a _zing_, like a static shock hitting his fingers. The small pain didn't diminish as he fiddled with the gun, each time he touched it, it prickled uncomfortably on his skin. He had wondered what Lady's heart would do to the metal, and was alarmed to find it made it painful to touch. That he was holding part of her heart in his hands made him feel suddenly melancholy. The loss had never truly faded. For him, the pain was just as bad as if it had been yesterday. The gun was an uncomfortable reminder of her sacrifice.

"So then, are we going to Hunt Akiyama-san together?"

"Why not?" Isamu shrugged, clambering onto his feet. He pulled Kaname onto his feet too and brushed them off quickly. "We'll deal with him together then. But after this we should make it a competition, a _contest_,"

"What, make a contest of who can kill more evil Vampires?" Kaname exclaimed incredulously.

"Not in a bad way, Kaname. This is hardly a game. But some friendly rivalry will have us Hunting them faster, don't you think?"

_This is hardly a game_.

…Then why do you treat it this way?

This isn't _fun_.

Kaname followed Isamu down the Pass, worrying all the while, why Isamu had suggested a contest like this, so playfully. He may have dismissed it quickly, but since when had killing people become a game to him? Maybe he was overreacting, but he just wasn't used to seeing his Isamu so grown up. The gun he held looked too comfortable in his hand, he handled it too naturally.

_Weapons aren't so unfamiliar to us anymore_.

Perhaps the violence had affected Isamu in ways Kaname had not expected nor realised.

* * *

><p>When Kaname arrived back at the Vampires' temporary campsite, it was almost noon and most of the Vampires were asleep. However, outside their tent, he found Daisuke curled up on the floor. A book lay on his lap on its back, its pages fanned open. He tutted, bending to take the book out of his friend's loose grip. Daisuke would be annoyed when he woke, his page had been lost. Kaname watched his friend fondly grasp at the air with his fingers. He was remarkably perceptive of his surroundings, even in his sleep. Eventually he woke, blinking back sleep as he saw Kaname's face swim before his eyes.<p>

"May I ask why you're sleeping out here?" Kaname asked, bemused at his usually well-orientated friend's dazed expression. He put it down to sleepy grogginess, "You'll get burnt in the sunlight when it turns afternoon, and the sun creeps around the tent,"

"Mm, it's difficult to sleep in there," Daisuke grumbled, jerking his head to the tent and snapping his jaws in a wide yawn.

Kaname groaned, glancing at the closed tent flaps. "They're not… not _again_ are they?" It was suspiciously quiet, but he'd made the mistake of assuming quiet meant _not busy_ far too many times.

Daisuke rubbed his eyes blearily, shaking his head, "No. No, they're not doing _that_. There's some bad – well it's not exactly **bad** news, but…" he glanced up at Kaname's expectant face, and sighed. "Come with me,"

They entered the tent so slowly and quietly that Kaname's suspicions grew.

At first he didn't see what was different. He moved to ask Daisuke, when his eyes fell on one of the beds.

"Where's Hiroshi?"

Kaname's stomach dropped like a stone.

"Oh no… no, no, no-" _Had he gone on a mission? He wasn't back. Did this mean-_

"Kaname, no!" Daisuke exclaimed, "It's nothing like that. Hiroshi's _fine_, it's just-"

"He's left the tent," came the voice on the other bed. Kaname almost didn't recognise Kenshin, from his usual upbeat voice – this sullen, toneless sound was so unlike him. They approached the bed with less care, now they knew he was awake.

"Kenshin, I thought you were asleep…" Daisuke said gently, reaching to touch his back.

The younger blonde shifted away, drawing himself further away from them. He sniffed. It was then that Kaname realised he was crying. The smell of salty tears was noticeable from this proximity, he hadn't recognized it before he heard him. Now he was unsure what the big dilemma was about. Without being cynical, Kaname wondered what had caused Daisuke to sleep outside – Kenshin wasn't a cry-baby, but often he could summon up the greatest of tantrums and sulk for hours. He didn't always go as far as to cry each time, but he _was_ quite childish when things didn't go his way (though this mostly applied to when Hiroshi was attempting to discipline him).

Not many tantrums had resulted in Hiroshi leaving the tent.

"Explain," he said softly, knowing that Kenshin would answer. He felt though that this situation was different from most. When Kenshin was just sulking, he would still speak to Kaname or Daisuke, just not Hiroshi. He would face them too, not hide away like this.

Kenshin remained facing the tent wall.

Daisuke patted his shoulder and then took Kaname's arm, leading them out of the tent. Kenshin hadn't spoken a word.

"Tell me what's wrong," he repeated. He didn't like that he had come back, in a relatively good mood from seeing Isamu (though he had found seeing his beloved fighting like a dog against a very dangerous Vampire _absolutely terrifying_), and had to face _this_ to end his day; but he just as much wanted to see Kenshin back to his usual mood.

Daisuke took a deep breath.

"Hiroshi's has decided to take a mate,"

Kaname recoiled.

Almost for as long as he'd known these three friends, he'd known Kenshin and Hiroshi to be lovers. Though they bickered and fought and were generally an annoyance to all those around them, they were so _happy_ together. He had assumed they would _always_ be together. Suddenly he felt anger boil in him at Hiroshi. How could he leave Kenshin like this?

He immediately made to pursue Hiroshi, but Daisuke pulled him back gently.

Daisuke shook his head, slowly, as if he had done so many times before.

"Don't," he said simply, "It was a mutual decision,"

"But _why_?" Kaname growled, feeling unusually protective over Kenshin. He was too young to get his heart broken like this. Kaname couldn't shake the image of him crying silently and facing the wall, so unresponsive, "What right did Hiroshi have to do this? They were in love!"

"They still are, and _that's _the sad part. Kenshin told me only that the decision had been made a long time ago to do so. He's just dealing with the aftermath – they were almost _Bonded_, Kaname,"

"You're not explaining to me _why_ this happened,"

"They want children," Daisuke said, "Both of them. This era is still new, and they don't want to be the last of their kind. They agreed that they wanted to pass on their bloodlines someday – and men cannot do this together. So they knew they would have to prepare for the day when they would have to break up.

"Unfortunately, today was that day for Kenshin. Hiroshi told him this morning, and moved all his things to a new tent. Kenshin's been like this ever since,"

"But why now?" Kaname begged. It horrified him to see Kenshin like this. He didn't want to go see how Hiroshi looked like right now. Now that he knew why things had been done, it dawned on him that Hiroshi didn't do this for himself, it was for Kenshin too. He must look the same…

"It was time to, I guess," he shrugged, "I can't understand it. Hiroshi came back from his mission. Maybe it was something he saw. Maybe it's the fear that he won't be able to have his children before he dies, so he decided to end it quickly. I'm not sure of his motives, Kaname, he only spoke to Kenshin for a short time before he left,"

"They still can be together though," Kaname protested. Part of him wondered why he was keeping this up. Was he just fighting for his friends, or for something else? The promise ran through his mind – the promise Isamu and he had made just earlier, to have each other, even if they had to take other people as their wives or mates.

"No they can't!" Daisuke laughed bitterly, "What are you saying, Kaname? A mate is a mate. That's a commitment for life,"

He held his head. This was too much to take in.

Kaname had hoped he would also get a child, one day. But that would require taking a mate, and making a _commitment for life_ to that mate – to be with her always, a pledge he only wanted to make with **one person**, who was _married_.

What was the difference between marriage and taking mates?

Which one stopped him from having Isamu?

He excused himself from Daisuke, ignoring his attempts to stop him as he went to sniff Hiroshi out.

The tent he found him in was far away from their old tent, downwind of it. He wondered if this was because Hiroshi thought he'd be homesick from their little family, and wanted their scent to find comfort in at least. Kaname found the redhead hunched over his knees in his new bed, not sleeping either. There was an element of being a cold observer in Kaname's stance, wanting to know what heartbreak looked like from the outside, imagining what it would feel like on the inside.

It was hard to imagine.

Suddenly a hand grabbed him from through the tent flap – Daisuke's hand – and tore him away. Kaname had rarely seen Daisuke as angry as he appeared to be. Silent and strong, the blonde took him far away from any of the tents, though his footsteps were even, he could feel the rage stamped into each one of them.

Daisuke whirled around to face Kaname. His face was taut and a line on his forehead warned Kaname how upset he was.

"You mustn't confront either of them. The choice was _theirs, _Kaname. Hiroshi _saw_ something in his mission. I sent him out last night with twenty men. Only seven returned, including him.

"I asked the others what had happened. On their search for the village they were told to protect, they caught trail of a strong blood scent. When they followed it, they found _Katsuo_ there, standing on a verge, looking at the remains of Lady. He had dug her up from her grave.

"They told me that he had cut himself and had poured his blood on her. He was telling her to drink from him. He was _talking to her_, Kaname. They thought he had gone mad. And then when he turned to them, they realised he was almost bled out. He was starving and attacked them, ate them, and then left.

"You must **think**, Kaname. We once thought we were an immortal race – we can heal almost any wound, escape the very edges of near-death situations. I've survived stab wounds to my heart, _fatal_ wounds a mortal should have died from. It's a real shock to us when Hiroshi and his men came back to tell us so many had been killed by _one Vampire_. Maybe that was what scared Hiroshi, to make him want to preserve his blood line. Death is much closer to us than we thought. There are so few of us Vampires left, after all this bloodshed,"

The fighting had certainly diminished the numbers of Vampires about. Kaname had even heard stories that there were Vampires who chose to mate with Humans, because the numbers were so few, and they thought their blood lines would be safe amongst the Humans, for whatever reason.

And all this fighting was because of one man, one Vampire who wanted to turn an entire race into an army of slaves, who wanted to avenge the death of his beloved mate and child.

Kaname had been so preoccupied with finishing off the Army Leaders that he had forgotten his main target: Katsuo. Lady had made him promise to end Katsuo, because _he_ was the one who was urging the fight on. He took Daisuke's shoulder.

"My friend, I have not been working hard enough,"

"You _are_, you're doing all you can-"

"I must leave. I must dedicate all my time now to finding Katsuo. He is the key to this disaster. I must do what our Lady asked us and finish him,"

"You won't return?"

Kaname let out a shuddering sigh, "I won't. Not until he's dead at least,"

"Rest one more night here with us, Kaname. You look so tired," Daisuke pleaded. Kaname raised a brow. _He_ looked tired?

"As the Humans say, 'The pot calling the kettle black',"

"Kaname…"

"From what I have seen, Daisuke, I shan't be sleeping here again. It doesn't feel right without the four of us in it," he said forlornly, glaring at Hiroshi's _new tent. _"I leave the men to you. You'll command them, I trust no one else. Before I leave…"

Kaname paused from his pacing. What he would ask… would it be wrong to do so? Especially after what Hiroshi had done, what Kaname was debating doing right now felt so _wrong_ to ask for. He kept seeing flashbacks of Kenshin crying silently in his bed, alone and heartbroken…the image kept flickering to having _Isamu_ being the one crying in the dark…

It was all for a child. For a chance to pass on their blood lines.

"Kaname? You stopped talking,"

"Before I leave, please…find me a mate…"

* * *

><p>It was only when Kaname was alone that he allowed himself to sob bitterly. On his last night, among his friends and those closer friends he considered family, he had spent his time elsewhere, among the women's tents. Daisuke knew the women of their group well, and had chosen the best mate he could find for Kaname. Still, the touch of her hand did not compare to the touch he wanted and craved. Her skin tasted sweet, as did her soft lips, but Kaname felt with each kiss he gave her, it was like eating glass shards. She was so kind to him, not complaining as he at first was resistant and cold. In fact, the whole time he had been mechanical and emotionless. As Isamu had said, he had used her, just for her womb.<p>

Guilt stabbed through him from both sides. Guilt for using a beautiful, kind woman as nothing more than a means of getting his child. Guilt for betraying his love in this way – even though Isamu had given him permission to do this.

Kaname wiped his face. This was no time for crying.

He stumbled in the dark, carrying nothing more than the clothes on his back. There was no destination in mind, he was simply following his senses, letting his nose lead him to where Katsuo was. But Katsuo was a master in concealing his scent trails. They were barely there. Each time he followed the faintest tendril of a scent, he kept being distracted by scents of other Vampires mixed with Human blood – these were the Army Leaders.

…_we should make it a competition… some friendly rivalry will have us Hunting them faster, don't you think?..._

Isamu. He was Hunting the Leaders. Was it possible if he also Hunted them, they would meet? He could barely focus on Katsuo's scent with all these bloody Leaders' scents trailing everywhere anyway. Kaname decided, this was the wisest choice – to Hunt all the Leaders first, get rid of them so he could focus on Katsuo's trail. It was like Katsuo himself had said – _they were obstructing his sight._

"So this going to be a game then, Isamu?" Kaname muttered, feeling his lips curl into a smile, just from saying his beloved's name, "If it is, _let the game begin_,"

* * *

><p>For the next few years, Kaname did in fact bump into Isamu many times. Often they found each other on the same trail, Hunting the same Leader. Each time, Kaname felt his heart lighten as they embraced and went on the Hunt together. Though the location, and the <em>situations<em> weren't ideal, in his opinion, at least he got to spend time with Isamu. It was more time than they had ever spent together, since Isamu's childhood days.

"Kaname! You look awful. You _smell_ awful,"

"Ah…," Kaname laughed uneasily, "I love you, Isamu," he said, trying to wrap his arms around Isamu, though he was firmly held back at a safe distance. He _did_ smell pretty bad, but he was stinking of several days worth of _no bathing_. This time he had Hunted three Leaders in one go, and hadn't had time to rest or wash at all. "How are you, my love?"

"Good, I suppose," Isamu delicately pecked Kaname's hand, which was the only bearably clean (he hoped) part of him, "We're getting there, Kaname. The numbers of them are definitely diminishing,"

"Mm, how _old_ are you?" Kaname said quickly, earning a deserving slap on the head for the rude question he asked, every time.

"Twenty-two. She gave birth six months ago," Isamu said quickly, his voice raising in excitement. Kaname couldn't help but share in his joy. Children _were_ a joy, it didn't matter if they came from parents who weren't in love, they were _precious_, always. Kaname loved the idea in his mind of another baby like Isamu had been, a tiny white-haired child toddling about…

"That's wonderful, how are they?" he said enthusiastically, pleased that he had remembered the detail of Isamu's twins.

"He's fine,"

Kaname's smile dimmed. He? Only one? "I thought-"

"The other one didn't make it, he would've been another son," Isamu sighed, "We don't even know why! Everything was fine, we thought. The babies were healthy, but at the labour… we lost one. There was so much blood everywhere, the babies were covered in it.

"It just wasn't an easy labour, and we found _wounds_ on the other baby – the one that didn't make it. It's so bizarre… she couldn't stop crying. But I told her that at least we have a son, I'm happy to have my son at least," he nodded. Kaname could see that he was still troubled by the traumatic delivery. He hugged Isamu close, whispering words of comfort into his ear.

He knew what it was like to be present at a distressing childbirth. Kaname could never forget that night.

There was something disturbing about what Isamu had said.

…_we found _**wounds**_ on the other baby_…

Suddenly it hit him.

…_When they _mate_ and have their children, those innocents will have to __**fight**__ to get into this world! They will have to fight to gain the chance to live, just as my baby did_…

Oh god, could it be…Katsuo's curse…?

If the curse said that the baby had to "**fight** to get into this world", did that mean Isamu's children had fought _each other_ to be born?

He suddenly felt disgusted. Katsuo had cursed _all_ the Hunters. How many babies would die of this curse? That wasn't fair. That was _sick_. But how could he tell Isamu the reason for his child's death? How could he tell him that his baby son was already a murderer, that he'd committed fratricide in the very moments when he had just begun to live?

He couldn't. That was the only answer, shameful though it may be. Isamu was already grieving his dead son, he couldn't stand to make him even more upset.

They only held each other in that meeting. Kaname didn't feel like it was the time to tell Isamu, his child had also been born only two months ago. He'd been told the news by a scout, and felt a mix of pride and longing, to see the child, to thank the mother.

* * *

><p>"Kaname! Stop it," he whacked him, "<em>Stop it!"<em>

He laughed so hard that his gut hurt, running around crazily, waving the water pail over his head. Isamu was red in the face from chasing him, panting a storm and yelling profanities even Kaname didn't know.

"If you want the water, just _drink it_, damn it!"

"I have your bucket again," Kaname howled, finally coming to a stop beside Isamu when he began to pity Isamu's lack of breath, and the stitch he was trying to soothe. He did take the water to drink, wincing at its gritty taste, since it hadn't been filtered yet.

Admittedly, the water did little for his _thirst_.

Kaname hated his weakness, but it had been so long since he had last drunk the drink he _actually needed_, and his teeth ached from the too cold, too bland water. These days he tried to refrain from touching Isamu as much. He was afraid. Even under the layers of sweat and grime from his work, Isamu smelt _delicious_. He could smell his rich blood, the motes of a healthy, exquisitely unique blood lay just beneath his white skin. Just imagining its taste, the look of hot red blood smeared on his skin-

Kaname had to control himself.

He offered the pail to Isamu, who sent him a harsh glare, still panting.

"Out of breath, old coot?" Kaname smirked, laughing as Isamu recognised the name _he_ used to call Kaname. Indeed, in the time they had been apart _this time_, he had grown again. Now there were the beginnings of crows' feet at the sides of his eyes, laughter lines were too faint to be counted as wrinkles – he had not laughed enough yet. "How old, now?"

Isamu scrunched up his nose, still peeved at the repeated question, "Twenty-nine,"

Almost thirty. Kaname winced inwardly. How much time were they losing? How long was it taking to finish these Leaders off? It was harder now, he had to admit. There were so few left, only a couple at the most. It made them harder to find and catch.

Isamu also seemed to be more aware of the time, as he glanced between them, a look of dread and bitter amusement glimmering in his eyes. He touched Kaname's lips reverently.

"Ha, at last, I look older than you,"

Immediately, instinctively Kaname shook his head. "You don't look old-"

"I **do**, Kaname, and that's perfectly normal," he insisted, taking Kaname's hands in his, "It's okay,"

"_Are_ you old?"

"I wish you'd stop asking that, it makes me _feel_ old!" Isamu laughed, shaking his head in amusement.

"I _must_ ask. I have to know how much of you I am missing. I'll replace the years with kisses, _Isamu_…" Kaname purred, leaning to kiss him. He was dodged skilfully and laughed at, despite his pleading stare.

"I wouldn't call twenty-nine _old_. I'd call it… '_getting there'_,"

"Are you still _young_?" Kaname asked, almost begging desperately. He didn't know what was regarded as young or old in Human age, he only knew that old people died sooner, and young people had much more time to go. It was dawning on him that while he didn't age, _Isamu _did.

Isamu laced their fingers together, kissing Kaname softly.

"Sort of, I'm getting there, definitely. But Kaname," he whispered, pressing his lips to his knuckles, "I'll _always_ be young at heart. So _if you take my bucket again-"_

Kaname began to pay the kisses.

* * *

><p>"…thirty-two?...thirty-three?...thirty-"<p>

"You'll take forever to get there, Kaname. I'm _forty_,"

"Forty… is that young?"

"It's middle-aged. I should be expecting a crisis at any second,"

"A _crisis-_"

"A joke, Kaname, it's just a joke," Isamu chuckled, rolling over to see Kaname's face relax again into a small but pleasant smile. He marvelled again at how young Kaname appeared. It was weird to think of him as young, compared to himself. Kaname had met him as a child, shouldn't _he_ be the one to age? But no, he was a Vampire, and this was one of their "Vamp-quirks" as Isamu called them.

"You know, I think we're down to our last three,"

"Hmm?" Isamu blinked, seeing Kaname staring at him with some sort of odd affection in his eyes, "What did you say? I'm getting deaf in my old age, you see-"

"I said, we're down to the last three Leaders. It's good. I can almost smell Katsuo clearly now,"

Isamu instantly became serious, "You're going after him when we're done?"

"Yes, as soon as I can. This is taking too long," Kaname said quietly. "We've been working fast, my love, but not fast enough-"

"Oh Kaname, don't lie. We've been taking our time. Don't deny we're being selfish-"

"Selfish?" Kaname cried, "Selfish _how_? We've sacrificed a large chunk of _your_ lifetime on Hunting these damned Leaders for _everyone's _safety,"

"We're wasting time each time we meet-"

"That's time that we **deserve**," he yelled, hushing his voice to a murmur at Isamu's agonised face, "My love, I see so little of you, even now. Give me this time, give me some time with you…"

"Kaname," Isamu sighed, rolling closer to Kaname's warmth.

He hated to be under Kaname's eyes anymore, to be seen at close distances. Though Isamu wasn't ugly, and didn't look old at all for his age, he had gained many battle scars from their Hunts. They even littered his face – a pink set of five claw marks on his left cheek, just below his cheekbone. It was embarrassing to compare his flawed face with Kaname's perfect, unmarked skin. Some of his scars weren't even battle wounds, he had to confess. They were simple marks worn into his Human skin from mundane every day things, and silly Human mistakes. A knick in his earlobe, caused by running too fast and not dodging the thorny bushes soon enough. His calloused hands, worn by use of his beloved gun, and washing his hands whenever he could, repeatedly, to get rid of the stench of blood.

But Kaname barely saw these things – no, actually, he _did _see these things. It was just that they didn't matter to him at all. His eyes tracked every mark on Isamu's face with childish curiosity. He didn't reach out to touch them, he only saw them as things to remember of his Isamu's face, just like the slope of his nose, the colour of his lips, the shape of his eyes…

* * *

><p>"Forty-six, Kaname. I am old now, even you can't deny it,"<p>

"My lips will be very sore, won't they?" Kaname laughed as Isamu tackled him, just as boisterously as he had as a child. He wasn't _old_. He couldn't be if he could still tumble around with him like this. Kaname began attacking Isamu with his forty-six kisses between dodges, cackling at Isamu's furiously red face.

"Stop! _Stop!_ I give,"

"So soon?" Kaname grinned down at him, caging Isamu in with his arms. Though he tried to ignore it, there was definitely an increase in the number of lines on his precious face, though they did not by any means make him any less beautiful than he _always_ had been.

He just smiled up at him tiredly, groaning at Kaname's weight on him. The soil was hard where they lay, and it dug into his back uncomfortably, with Kaname pressing his bones into the ground at strange angles.

"Two left,"

"Two?"

"Yes. And I think it's time," Isamu said softly. _Time for you to go and kill him. Time for us to go separate ways-_ "I'll finish them. You need to go after Katsuo,"

"We can go together. You're so _old_ now, of course. You need looking after- ooh. Ow-"

"I'll go alone. You need to face him, Kaname,"

Nodding quickly, Kaname let himself flat on Isamu, letting their warm bodies warm each other, their scents permeate together. He rubbed his face against Isamu's shoulder. "I will, don't worry about that. I'll get him,"

He felt Isamu's body sigh in relief. To be honest, he had picked up on the way each meeting was becoming more tense and less intense. They were losing energy, though their hate for Katsuo was growing. The sick bastard didn't desist. The Human slaves were dying without their Leaders, but still there were an unaccountable number who lived by _his_ doing, and followed _his_ orders, taking Humans from their once safe villages to be enslaved by _him_.

As the time drew to a close, and the Final Hunt (as Kaname called it) drew nearer by the day, Kaname began to falter.

Surely these Hunts for Leaders had been a practise, an exercise to build his strength to face the worst of them all, but still he felt uneasy with the prospect of potential _failure_. What would that mean to them all? The fighting wouldn't stop.

Over the course of these Hunts, Kaname had discovered his own powers beyond his imagining, because just as Isamu suggested to him once – "_Imagine, and you limit yourself to imagining"_. Using his powers, he had to _set himself __**free**_ without the burden and limits of thinking **what** he could or should do. He had to believe it would happen, and then it did. In this way, he had so far _burnt, _Leaders, _frozen _them, _drowned_ them, _levitated _them into the outer atmosphere….. he had done _so many _terrible things, and even yet, there was no limit to what he could do. He could do more.

But if _he_ could, surely Katsuo could too; and that was discouraging.

"Kaname… I love you,"

Shaking himself out of his worry, Kaname grunted to Isamu, wondering why he had said so in such a miserable tone. Love should never be declared in such a _miserable_ tone, he thought.

"After this is over…" Isamu trailed off, but his eyes stared at Kaname in such sadness that he felt his heart tremble at the hollowness in his voice. Isamu bit his lip, looking down at their interlaced fingers. His wedding band against Kaname's nude fingers, where an invisible ring tied him to his own mate.

And then, he understood.

_After this is over…_

"…I… I think it best if we should not meet again,"

For once, Kaname didn't flare passionately in outrage at his suggestion.

Instead, he felt himself deflate, the remains of his heart claw at his insides as it was dragged, deep into himself, where he could not feel Isamu anymore. He was not angry at Isamu. There wasn't pain or despair, but longing.

Living was beginning to become a burden.

Kaname remembered when he had been kicked out of the village again. That had opened his eyes to how unfair life could be, but even now, it shocked him how _unfair_ life could be.

It wasn't any villagers' hands pulling Isamu away from him now. It was all his choice. Isamu was giving up on them. Kaname knew why this was. He had seen the self-conscious glimmer in his lover's eyes, the embarrassment of his rosy face when Kaname kissed his temples, near the crinkled skin of crows' feet framing his eyes. He was afraid of ageing.

But Kaname wasn't going to let this petty _fear_ get in their way.

Unlike Kenshin and Hiroshi, this would **not** be a _mutual decision_.

"Kaname, I love you, but I can't _bear_ seeing you like this,"

"But you're perfect,"

He half-sobbed, half-scoffed, "_What_?"

"You're _perfect_. Not old. Never old,"

"Kaname!" Isamu laughed breathlessly, shoving him off him. Kaname ignored how weak the push was, rolling over by his lover's request. "It's _not_ that,"

"Then I refuse to accept your suggestion,"

"You _will_. By gods, I will run away and you will never find me,"

"Then I'll Hunt you down,"

"You _won't_. Kaname, **please**, be reasonable…" Isamu panted, breathless and struggling to fight his case. He just hated seeing Kaname never change while he grew older- "I'm doing this for _you_. Think of how you will be if you see me age slowly to death-"

"I will treasure every moment, every second of our time together, _Isamu_," Kaname whispered in his ear, holding his trembling body against his, "I want to spend every moment with you that I can, please,"

Isamu's chest swelled a thousand times, and he bit down a retort at how sappy Kaname was being. This was what one could only dream of hearing from their lover, a sincere wish to be together forever. What could be sweeter?

But Isamu's smile was bittersweet, and he shook his head.

He could not face living like that. Though Kaname ignored the fact, the fact was that he would not enjoy seeing Isamu's last years, as his joints became too stiff for running and his bones too weak to rough-tumble, or his skin became too wrinkled to kiss, his hair too thin to run his hands through…

"Once more," he sighed, "I'll see you once more, after this Hunt. Then that will be the end,"

Kaname heaved a shuddering sigh. The darkness around them was emptiness. _Once_. That would not be enough, but from Isamu's pained smile, he saw that despite the love he knew they shared, being together was damaging them. He grudgingly agreed, hurrying to complete his kisses to Isamu's age, comforting himself with the taste of his skin.

He planned in his mind, a gift. Something he would make, for Isamu to remember him by. If next time would be their last, he would have to make it memorable somehow. He would have to make it something they could treasure forever.

As he set on his mission with a weary sigh, knowing in this mission would come the end, he could not think of anything else but the fact that it also meant the last time he would ever see Isamu before there would be a blank in his life. Kaname didn't pretend that he would not miss Isamu, he definitely would. But he would have to lock away those memories in his life if he was to move on. All he would have to remember Isamu by would be… well, _his_ part of the gift in his pocket.

He tracked the powerful scent that trailed behind Katsuo at a running pace, pausing each time the scent went faint or mixed.

Practise let him do this without much concentration, training his nose to track a scent instinctively (_like a bloodhound_, the Humans said). He could tell that Katsuo was a _long_ way ahead, and it would take possibly days to reach him, if not weeks, so he let himself relax. Kaname knew how tiring it was to always keep focused on tracking, when he rarely had to concentrate. He just let his nose and legs do all the work on this boring part of the mission.

He decided to let his mind rest and prepare itself for the fight that was awaiting him.

But a Vampire like him should know never to let down his guard.

It was foolish to expect an outcome, far before it was due, and Kaname didn't know the mistake he had made, thinking everything was to be plain and easy. Find Katsuo and kill him – it wouldn't be so simple.

Following the scent, Kaname was too optimistic to guess that Katsuo would be the only one waiting for him, but then again, they'd said so many times before:

Kaname was a fool.


	52. MEMORY: Vampire Wars PART 2

**Author's note:**

**THANKYOU to Atheist1 for pointing out my mistake! Did anyone else see it? I put Isamu's wife getting pregnant when he was 21, and giving birth when he was ****24****! My god, what a long pregnancy…  
>It has been amended! Thank you very much! Isamu's wife isn't suffering as much back pain anymore!<strong>

**Trivia:  
>did anyone know that Pureblood vampires are also known as Truebloods? Matsuri-cited!<strong>

**some of this chapter will NOT make sense right now. if you are confused, youll have to waa-iiiit~! things will be explained in time, ok? **

**WAHOO! LAST OF THE MEMORY ARC!**

* * *

><p>As he neared the trail, Kaname's heart beat faster in trepidation. He had been walking for three weeks now, nonstop. The fiery anticipation and fear in his veins stopped him from stopping, and he'd clung to his senses, sticking to the trail like glue.<p>

It amazed him when he found his feet walking on a _much_ too familiar path. He backtracked, and tried again to follow the trail, but every time, his feet fell onto the same path. Even when he closed his eyes, it was the same.

He was walking home.

The mountain Pass, the Twin Mountains. This was his home.

What was Katsuo's trail doing here?

Kaname involuntarily found his legs moving faster, taking the well-known best routes around the dirt path, knowing where the ground was easiest to walk. But soon enough, he wasn't even walking anymore, he was running.

Something wasn't right.

Why was Katsuo in his homeland? Was he looking for him too?

Ever since he had split from Katsuo and Lady, taking the place as their enemy, Katsuo hadn't batted an eyelid towards Kaname. He barely acknowledged Kaname's attempts to stop him. In fact, it was like Kaname was too insignificant to even exist in Katsuo's life, as far as he was concerned.

So why had he come _here_ of all places – to a place they both knew belonged to Kaname.

It was curious.

To his amazement, even the land seemed to know someone unwelcome was here. The grass under his feet was brittle and dry, cracking and snapping under his weight. Nettles sprung high from the ground and clung to his clothes, their tiny needles stinging him harmlessly. It was daytime, but the tall Left Mountain had grown. Perhaps it was only his imagination, but it seemed to block out all the light, which he appreciated, but which also made the scene all the more eerie.

But above all that, it was _cold_ in the shadow. Bitterly cold.

Kaname knew his home, and it was never this cold.

Katsuo was here.

He paused at the Crack, flashing a quick smile to it, as if it was alive. Panting, he leaned against it, grinning again when he saw how wide the Crack was now. Enough to fit a man.

"I'll come back to you," he whispered, touching the rock affectionately, and laughing at himself for being a crazy fool. Here he was, talking to a mountain like an old friend.

Then he straightened up again, sucking in a deep breath.

But on this breath was a different scent.

Delicious and sweet, the scent of blood swam through the breeze that rattled through the Pass. It was unlike any other breeze he had felt around the Pass – harsher, colder, and saturated with such a beautiful smell, that his mouth salivated.

Only now did Kaname realise his hunger again. It had been years, more than the five years he had suffered after Waking, since he had tasted blood, and this one called to him like a master to its dog. He answered its call, throwing himself into a sprint.

All thoughts of Katsuo had fled from his mind.

He tore down the path, gulping delicious breaths, each making his fangs grow, his stomach growl, hungry for blood, _starving _for it, desperate to **sink his teeth in and-**

and

and then he heard it-

the **screaming**.

* * *

><p>The scene Kaname came upon did not at first make sense to him.<p>

First he saw a corpse, one of the Army Leaders. Two bullet holes shot dead straight through him, one in the heart and one between the eyes. He was crumpled to the side of the path, his stinking blood dried to black on the grass, lifeless eyes staring up to the sky.

And Isamu… Isamu was spread across the left mountain side, against the flack rock face. His face was a mess of pain, blood smeared into his hair, dripping out of his mouth. He was panting hard, gritting his teeth.

Kaname was at his side in seconds.

"W…What-what…" was all he could manage, gingerly placing his hands on Isamu's face. **He** was the source of the intoxicating blood scent. Of course he was.

He tried not to touch him too much, feeling the waves of pain fly off him. Also, getting so near, he couldn't ignore the sensation of _desire_ and_**lust**_ building inside of him. The blood was so fresh and its warmth permeated into the air, Kaname was addicted to it already so he had to force himself to concentrate on Isamu. Isamu who was bleeding heavily, not only from the head it appeared.

"Kaname?" he whimpered, shuddering as his torn thigh went into spasm from the shock, the rest of his leg trembling uncontrollably. He strained his head around to face him.

"What's happening? Why are you here?"

Kaname urgently ripped his sleeves off, wiping away the blood from his face and sniffing out his greatest wound – a huge gaping tear in his thigh. He quickly bound it, tying it tightly even as Isamu screamed again through his teeth. To his surprise, Isamu didn't writhe against his hold, even though the pain should be enough that he needed restraining. He hadn't blacked out either, but he was just _standing _there, against the wall.

There was something unnatural about his position, and Kaname tried to pull him so he lay down. The blood was rushing out of him, pulled by gravity to gush out of his wound. His leg had to be elevated. But when he tugged on him, Isamu only screamed louder.

Desperate, Kaname almost didn't hear the voice that came next.

"Careful, you'll break him,"

Kaname immediately released Isamu, watching his face tighten again and then go slack and pale, sweat dotting his forehead and neck as he panted. He ached to take the pain from him, to comfort him, but that _voice_ was the bigger worry right now. Isamu could handle pain, even as much as this. Kaname had to face **him**.

Turning slowly, Kaname saw the same handsome face he remembered. Tall, dark and devastatingly handsome – extraordinarily similar to his own dark good looks, but pinched from the years he'd suffered alone, broken-hearted. Kaname felt a brief glimmer of sympathy for the man, whose true anger stemmed from the loss of his family; but he couldn't forgive him for his bloodthirsty ways. Naturally, Katsuo was evil – or at the least, he was consumed by his lust for power; even before Lady's death, he had always believed that he could do as he wanted, enslaving a whole _race_ for his own comforts.

And that greed could not be forgiven.

Katsuo's hands were outstretched, his fingers curled at the tips from the amount he was straining them. Instantly Kaname recognised his stance. It was the one he often adopted when he discovered something new he could **do**, but could not control yet properly. The troubling thing was the _where _his hands were pointing to – it looked like it as towards him, but of course, it was really at **Isamu**.

Kaname flinched as his hands wavered, juddering like live wire, and simultaneously Isamu shrieked louder. The deafening sound stunned him, freezing the blood in his own body.

"Katsuo, stop!" he cried, his body instinctively curling around Isamu to shield him. "**Stop it!**"

And then Katsuo burst into hearty laughter, his hands shaking with his shoulders. Kaname could feel behind him, Isamu's body moving with his movements too. Kaname had to turn to see what was happening, and gasped when he saw the blood begin to leak through Isamu's shirt. He was being crushed against the wall by nothing more than Katsuo's will, the rock was breaking him-

"You're killing him! **Please**, Katsuo!"

Kaname urged his own powers against Katsuo, throwing one hand towards him to push him away, and touching one to Isamu's chest to pull him out of the rock . It felt like a ridiculous game of pull and push, where no one was moving. They were caught in a stalemate position, where all Kaname could hear was Isamu screaming, Katsuo laughing and his own angry heartbeat thundering in his ears.

But like he often did when he had discovered a new power, the strain of keeping it was wearing at Katsuo's control. Kaname had never felt so terrified in his life. One slight move, one jerk of his hand, and Isamu could be crushed to death. And Katsuo's control was so fragile now. Even from this distance, Kaname could see his laboured breathing through his manic grin.

He had to stop this quickly before it got out of hand.

It was a gamble, but Kaname knew what he had to do, and how impossibly fast he would have to move to stop Isamu being crushed.

With speed he didn't know he had, he whipped around, throwing both his hands towards Katsuo. The force of the shove was great enough that Katsuo toppled backwards, releasing Isamu.

Kaname immediately caught his lover carefully in his arms, still shielding him from Katsuo as he laid him on the ground. He forced himself to ignore his pained groans and whimpers as he moved him so his feet were elevated by his own shoulders.

"Breathe easy, love. Be calm, be calm…" he hushed, also shooting worried glances over his shoulder to Katsuo's whereabouts. The Vampire was on his feet prowling from left to right, like a panther stalking his prey. But he didn't come any closer, and apart from his watchful, fierce eyes, Katsuo did nothing.

What was he playing at?

"Katsuo," he called in anguish, "This is between you and me only. None of it involves him. Let him go, please, I _beg _you-"

"Begging is weak, Kaname," Katsuo spat, "And even if he could walk out of here, do you really think he's the innocent victim in all of this?"

"He has done nothing-"

"_What do you take me for, Kaname?_ A **fool**? I have ears. I have heard of these _Vampire Hunters_ who fight with my lover's blood in their veins. **I have heard** about this _heroic_, white-haired Hunter who is **famous** for fighting alone, Hunting us Vampires like we're game. This **murderer**-"

"He didn't kill-"

"**I know what he **_**did**_**!**" he roared. Katsuo's face was a contorted in unconcealed rage. The grass ripped up where he stood, and twigs and stones flew around him in an airborne maelstrom of disaster. "_He drank her__** first**_! Don't think I don't know – I've **heard** that **he** started it all. He tasted her blood and then _they wanted more_. They **feasted** on her!"

"But she sacrificed herself, Katsuo! It was her decision to make,"

"Her life was my life. Our blood is a precious thing, Kaname. Thinking of it being wasted on the Humans **kills me** inside!"

"I wish it would kill you for real," Kaname snarled, standing to face him, "Have you gone completely mad, Katsuo? Can't you see that just like us, the Humans are just a race – a species that took the only option they had to preserve themselves. They drank her blood so they could defend themselves from you-"

"They have no _right_, Kaname. This world was meant to be ours. But **he** gave those Humans a _chance_ against us. I'm doing what is right, Kaname, don't you see? I'm claiming what was meant to be ours," he stepped towards them.

"I won't let you near him. If you try to lay a finger on him, I'll kill you," Kaname almost winced at how lame and feeble his words sounded, even to his own ears.

He was stood protectively over Isamu, but his whole body was exhausted and shaking. Why was he shaking? He hadn't even started fighting yet, but there was no energy in his body. And then Katsuo laughed again, a shrill sound that hurt Kaname's ears.

"You're so weak, Kaname. I don't think even if you tried, you could stop me," he spoke calmly, rationally, stalking them in a circle and watching them, "There is no way you can fight me like this, Kaname. You're so easy to figure out, so easy to anticipate. Don't you know I can see what you're going through? This is admittedly, the only weakness of the Vampires. You're hungry. _We need to feed,"_

Kaname shook his head determinedly. He wouldn't listen to him. He had to think of something, a plan to stop Katsuo. The situation was too dangerous. He feared that if he went to fight Katsuo, he would be leaving Isamu vulnerable to his attack, because there was no doubt now that Katsuo didn't only want Kaname dead, but _Isamu_ dead too, for drinking the blood of his mate.

Even if he managed to get to Katsuo before he reached Isamu, would he be able to fight him?

Like Katsuo had said – Kaname could feel the hunger ripping through his gut like an angry storm. His throat was so agonisingly dry and his fangs were fully elongated, almost hanging out of his lips as he panted. There was a hungry beast inside him, starving for blood; and Isamu lay just behind him, bleeding _profusely_. The perfect meal to a monster like him – injured, vulnerable, lying there because there was nothing else he could do

_because he trusts you Kaname. He believes in you, that you'll never hurt him. Even though it's his blood you've been craving, always_

_What_ type of a hell was this?

Suddenly, he understood what Katsuo was doing.

He was baiting him.

It all made sense now!

The reason why he could never catch Katsuo these past years was because he was being led on a wild goose chase. It must have been right after Lady's death when Katsuo discovered that Isamu was the one who first fed from her on that night – from then on, in Katsuo's eyes, he was her murderer. He wanted Isamu dead from the start.

He had been leading Kaname on, forcing him to go for years in pointless circles, in a fruitless Hunt to wear him out. While Kaname thought he was simply being evasive, Katsuo had been dragging the years out purposefully, to _**starve**_ him.

And when he was perfectly hungry, when the thirst consumed him and he was truly weak, he would lure him into his greatest trap.

He heard low chuckling, and saw Katsuo's eyes staring at him intently, the pleasure on his face similar to a cat that had caught its prey, and now he was playing with him before his death.

"You understand me, now?" he laughed, tilting his head towards Isamu, "You're starving. There is no one else here. So you'll have to **eat** **him**,"

"No!" Kaname gasped, throwing a hand over his nose and mouth as he tried to block out the intoxicating scent.

Katsuo could've killed Isamu all along, but what better revenge, what sweeter plan could he make, than to make _Kaname_ the one to kill his own lover. He would draw Kaname to him, and when the opportune moment came, he would find Isamu and make it an impossible scenario for Kaname to win.

Two birds with one stone.

"You're **sick**, Katsuo! What would Lady say if she saw you now-"

"Those words won't work on me. I _know_ what she would say. She would do as she has always done – stand by my side and say I am a clever man-"

"Have you no heart?" he begged.

Katsuo scoffed, "Where does my heart lie, Kaname? With her, always her,"

Seeing there were no words he could sway him with, even a mentioning of his beloved Lady didn't draw upon his conscience, Kaname turned to Isamu. If they were about to die, he would do so with Isamu being the last thing he saw.

Kaname knelt down to his lover again, raising his wounded leg up again, but it was already sticky with blood, and the flow didn't seem to be stopping. He put pressure on it, tugging Isamu's hands to press on the wound too. "I'll get you out of here, I promise,"

"Don't make promises you can't keep," Isamu slurred. His eyes were half-lidded by now, and he barely whimpered as more pressure was applied to his thigh. When Kaname removed his hands to tend to his other wounds, his limp hands fell free.

"No, no you have to keep pressing here…"

"Time's running out, Kaname. Your meal is going cold,"

"Shut **up**, Katsuo!" he yelled, batting Isamu's cheeks lightly to keep him conscious. He _was_ going cold. What colour was usually at least a faint pink in his cheeks was now gone, and his face was ashen. The cold smear of red blood was all over his skin, a fake rouge – a bad joke made of the sinful image Kaname had fantasised so many times of Isamu's white skin smeared with blood. This wasn't what he wanted anymore, _not like this_, but his fangs and his body wanted it.

Kaname could feel his control slipping as he roughly yanked Isamu onto his lap, bowing over him.

The wounds weren't closing, and his blood was soaking the grass.

What more could Kaname do? Isamu was slipping away…

"You're weaker than I thought, Kaname. I'm being generous and giving you the chance to have the best meal of your life. No blood is sweeter than of the one you love. You have a choice.

"Eat him, gain your strength back, and then I will fight you. When you're pitiful like this, it isn't even worth the fight.

"But if you _don't_ eat him, I guarantee that the both of you will be dead very quickly. He's already on his way out, Kaname. You don't have long to think it over, but I'll wait patiently here for you to make your decision," Katsuo clambered over to the other side of the Pass, leaving Kaname to his impossible _decision_.

What type of options were these? Either way, Katsuo was saying that Isamu would die. It was only his own life that he could save.

The choice wasn't hard to make.

* * *

><p>Cool grass, brushing his forehead. Shade, a deep shade that blacked the redness of his inner eyelids, so as he lay there with his eyes closed, it was very easy to think it was night time. Only the warmth of the sun on his feet told him it was still day, and there was the sound of steady breathing on his right. The pace of the breathing told him who it was.<p>

So he slowly opened his eyes, turning his head with a smile, there he was.

The lighting was soft, and filmy. Peaceful and clean.

He took his hand slowly in his, lacing their fingers together.

Smooth skin, perfect and white in his hand. He rubbed his thumb over the sharp, defined knuckles.

Then he took in a deep breath, and shut his eyes again.

* * *

><p>Once he saw that Katsuo wasn't moving from his spot, where he watched him like a hawk, Kaname decided it was as safe as ever to move Isamu to a more comfortable spot. They lay side-by-side under the overhanging, next to the Crack. Impossibly, the rock always felt <em>soft<em> here, at least to Kaname it did. It was the way it cradled their bodies gently, he thought, which was the comfort they needed, at their dying hour.

Kaname started when he felt something touch his hand. But it was Isamu's hand, so he simply watched as his trembling fingers felt along his own hand for purchase, then slipping their fingers together snugly. A slow thumb traced his knuckles, so light that Kaname had to pretend to feel it.

When he looked up, he caught a flash of violet.

"Isamu…"

He closed his eyes, heaving a sigh.

"…tired,"

"I know," he kissed his forehead, "It isn't long now. Look at where I brought us,"

Isamu opened his eyes, white eyelashes fluttering, he smiled at the overhanging rock.

Beautiful.

"Are you ready?"

"…ready?"

"Together, Isamu," Kaname whispered, rolling onto his side so he could see his face fully, "We'll leave this all behind us,"

Suddenly Isamu's eyes snapped wide, and Kaname found himself in a tight hold. Isamu's fingers clutched his shoulder and dragged him on top of himself, and Kaname had to stop breathing when the movement caused the beginning-to-scab wound to open again and hot blood to gush again. His nose was right next to Isamu's ear, and his lips were pressed against his jaw.

He choked when Isamu pulled him closer, so _close_, their bodies meshed together. Kaname shifted so he didn't touch any wounds, with his shaky arms holding him upright above his body. This was such sweet torture – his own love was pulling him in for an embrace, and tempting him with everything he had. Guilty tears stung his eyes when he realised he had unknowingly switched from thinking of Isamu in his last moments, and was instead dreaming of _blood_.

Sobs racked his body, shaking them both as he tried to control his rage. They were stuck, at the end. He wanted so badly to lie down with Isamu and hold him, which would give Katsuo his answer – they would die together. But his mind was in turmoil, his instincts were torturing him with the urge to give in, to bite into that neck that was so close to his lips already, just under his jaw-

"_Please_… I c-can't do this anymore… it hurts, i-it…" he let out a shuddering sob, catching his lips on his own fangs, "I'm so _hungry_… I c-can't…"

Isamu's eyes had closed again. Kaname could still feel his shallow breath on his face though. Like Katsuo had said, Isamu's body was already broken, he was _dying_, no matter how much Kaname wanted to deny it, he didn't have much time. There was a chance... a chance that if he regained his strength from Isamu, he could defeat Katsuo, once and for all. But the price to pay...

This somehow reminded him of his first meal, the old cow who was on her last breaths. Would this count the same way? Could it be called being merciful? Ending the pain quickly?

But this isn't the same, this is _Isamu_, who he had promised never to drink from.

He had also promised him he would kill Katsuo.

_**I have a feeling that if I ever was to drink your blood, I would not be able to stop.**_

Kaname gasped as he felt Isamu's hand nudge him down again, settling his face in the crook of his neck.

Was this…his permission? Or was it his own imagination?

Either way, this was the most permission he would ever get from Isamu now.

"I am so sorry, my love…I had hoped we would die together, but even now, in these dire circumstances, we cannot be selfish. Forgive me,"

He bent his head, tilting forwards as he instinctively found the throbbing artery in his throat.

"Don't be afraid. I'll be very quick, I promise …"

* * *

><p>The molten swirl of blood on his tongue forced animalistic groans from his throat as he gorged on it, feasting on its addictive taste. Grunting in pleasure, Kaname felt hot trails of tears on his cheeks, matching trails of blood dripping from his lips. This was a paradox, a mix of absolute bliss and agony. Every sip took Isamu further away from him, yet his blood was inside him, making him stronger.<p>

The taste was something he could not have ever dreamed of. Not a sweet blood at all, but sharp and strong. Like he had said before, he knew he would not be able to stop drinking it, ever. It was like respite, finally a break from the years of fasting. He clung to Isamu fiercely, never letting him go.

Soon enough, he felt Isamu's hand slip from his neck. His fingers followed the current of warm blood that drained to his neck, to his own lips. Isamu was turning cold.

Shuddering from knowing that it was coming to an end, Kaname let the hand supporting Isamu's head slide up to his scalp, running it through his tangled hair.

As he did, it triggered something that seemed to make time stand still.

Spilling out of Isamu, through his blood… Kaname swore he could see things. Glimpses of their past together – all the happy parts, like when they were young, and Isamu used to follow him around like a shadow. Then there were the lost years where they were apart from each other – Kaname swore he could see Isamu, what he was like during them – a distracted boy who rarely spoke. Then came the recent years, the kisses, the banter… all the sweetness Kaname knew of their time together. It came altogether in a myriad of emotions – joy, horror, embarrassment – and suddenly Kaname knew that he was seeing Isamu's last thoughts, his _memories_.

He wept as he detached his fangs from his lover, but like a spark of hope, a comforting reminder – the thoughts didn't leave him.

Kaname was standing tall, striding over towards Katsuo with blood dripping down his face and fire burning in his eyes, just as the last tendrils of Isamu's mind began to slip away-

* * *

><p>When Kaname awoke next, he found himself completely alone. The Pass was silent, though there was the smell of smoke and charred flesh, and the grass was now ruined in places.<p>

He couldn't remember what had happened. All he could recall was seeing Katsuo charging at him while he made for him in the same way, anger causing the very particles of air vibrate so much that the world was on _fire_.

Now, he sat alone on the charred path, surrounded by tiny shards of crystal. He lifted a piece into his palm. It was freezing cold, but it was not ice… no, it was a strange crystal. He tossed it aside.

"Isamu,"

Kaname swerved around to orientate himself. It was night time, yet quickly he caught sight of the white hair, the co- corpse of his lover. He stumbled towards him, discovering wounds on his body with each step. Clearly it had been a hard battle, since he hadn't come out of it unscathed – though his injuries were healing in seconds. He briefly wondered where Katsuo was, but dismissed that thought. All his thoughts were on Isamu now.

As he reached his lover, he hesitated, before gathering him into his arms. He didn't respond. How could he…? Still, it was strange to have Isamu so quiet and complacent in his arms. When he kissed his cheek, it was distinctly cold.

Without knowing what he was doing, Kaname turned towards the Crack, now large enough for a man to walk in. Was it any surprise that his feet were taking them there, to the place Isamu had promised they'd investigate? Kaname chuckled humourlessly.

"Let's go see it, my love. The adventure of a lifetime, I promise you," he whispered into his ear, bowing his head at Isamu's cynical silence.

The space between the rock walls of the narrow crack they were going through was difficult to squeeze through at times, and the floor dipped downwards into the heart of the mountain. Sometimes Kaname feared they would get stuck, and then he would laugh, and heard Isamu's brash laughter ringing in his head. In his mind, they were holding hands on this adventure, creeping along the long narrow path together to investigate the source of Kaname's never-ending curiosity.

Drips of water from the wall drew his attention, and he looked up, gasping as he saw how high the walls soared. They were at least a hundred feet deep, below the surface of the mountain, and as Isamu had told him, the brittle rock had torn from the tectonic shifting, splitting the mountain open at the top. A gaping shaft at the top let in a drift of moonlight which lit the small cavern they found themselves in.

Kaname laughed. It was empty. There was nothing there.

"Oh don't laugh. It's always the journey which counts, not the destination," he shushed Isamu's scornful stillness.

His smile faded when he realised, it was _truly_ quiet.

His eyes were drawn to the centre of the cavern, where the ground rose in a small platform. Kaname decided to rest there. At least it was above the cold, wet ground.

He laid Isamu beside him and they lay together, staring up at the blue hue of the moonlight filtering in. Kaname let his hand drift towards Isamu's.

But he didn't take it.

Kaname folded his hand over Isamu's twisting his wrist so their fingers brushed. _Lace them, intertwine them… I want to feel close to you…_

It was then when it must have clicked, when it finally sunk in

that Isamu was really gone.

He rolled over to see his face. Unlike what books said about seeing someone you loved dead, it wasn't peaceful, it wasn't 'like he was sleeping'. Isamu's face was stony cold, the softness of life had been removed from him. Kaname could recognise that this was nothing more than Isamu's shell. He was gone, he was really gone, he…

Kaname bit his lips, tasting the blood from before on them.

"Are you thirsty, Isamu?"

He clawed his wrist open, watching the blood spurt blankly. It gushed onto Isamu's face, but his mouth wouldn't open to drink from him. He tried to coax Isamu's jaw open, but it was rigid. Kaname impassively bit his other wrist, tearing it open too.

"Drink, Isamu," he urged, watching the blood pool in the hollow of his throat.

Then the smell hit Kaname.

The smell of Isamu's blood, flowing, heavily from his own body – the part of Isamu he had in him, the part he could treasure… he was wasting it on a dead body.

Kaname licked his wounds clean, watching them heal quickly. He felt so shameful. Had he really lost his handle on life? He was going mad, talking to Isamu like he was alive like this.

Kaname sobbed bitterly, clawing at the rock.

It wasn't meant to end like this.

His eyes kept falling back onto Isamu's bloodstained face, his body dripping with it. How shameful. He had disrespected the very gift his lover had given to him – his blood, his life. Kaname shuddered, pulling at the rock.

Isamu needed a grave. He needed to be covered, protected.

Kaname tugged at the rock, feeling the soft rock give under his fingers, moulding it like clay. He pulled it over Isamu like a sheet, watching it cover him in a thin layer, so his body could still be seen beneath the rock. Sighing, Kaname admired it. He was the treasure of the cave now. He was beautiful.

He touched his fingers to Isamu's forehead, the blood on his fingertips dribbled onto it. Clumsily, he painted a line across his forehead. The blood on his fingers mixed with the rock, plucking the natural crystals in the rock and bringing them to the surface. Soon he was looking at a dark, black crown, inset into the stone.

Now he looked like he was sleeping.

He looked like a sleeping prince.

Kaname traced his lips.

And then he lay down beside him again, and closed his eyes.

* * *

><p><em>Zero found it very difficult to make sense of the next scenes that flashed before his eyes. There were glimpses, flickers of images, but barely anything that made proper sense. For a long while, there was only mind-numbing darkness and cold. And then…<em>

* * *

><p>…the scent of blood. A blood he had locked away. Kaname stirred. He felt achingly dry and achy, and groaned as something shook his entire body.<p>

Boom!

Ah, he shuddered, "Nnn…" it was his heart. He was beginning to wake…

* * *

><p>…there was blood again! This time the hunger stung his belly and Kaname tried to hear what was disturbing him, who was the source of this blood? He could only hear the dripping of water, and a faint echo which sounded like a cry. Other than that, there was nothing but his own breathing.<p>

This blood wasn't the same as last time. It smelt strange. But the image flickered through his mind of a white-haired boy-

He bolted upright, catching a wrist in his mouth and clamping onto the juicy flesh with his jaws.

Immediately as the blood poured into his mouth, he sucked hard, draining the arm of blood and forcing his feeder's heart to pump blood faster into his belly. He was ravenous. Kaname groaned happily, enjoying his first meal in… in… how long had it been…?

Then he heard the sound of brittle laughter, a cackle that sent shivers down his spine.

"If _my_ blood isn't enough, soon you'll finish our entire family,"

…family? Kaname tried to loosen his jaw, release the wrist, but his hunger was not yet sated.

"Look at you. You're all shrivelled up,"

He shuddered. Finally his eager jaws snapped open. He panted, wincing as someone dried his lips.

"Come now, Kaname. Come feed grandpa, _here_ you go…"

Kaname felt a weight drop on his chest, near his throat. The thing squirmed on him, whining lowly in fear. Was it an animal? Some sort of food for him… Kaname leant his head forwards, blindly snapping with his jaws. The creature was nudged forwards, falling right into his gaping mouth. He bit deeply and began to drain this new one. It tasted much better this time, but Kaname's tattered ears suffered the loud cries. Strangely enough, it sounded like a very young child…


	53. A Choice To Make

**Author's note:**

**ZEEROOOOOOO! I MISSED YOU TT_TT**

* * *

><p>The cool sip of water hit his stomach, just as the Rose Shield toppled out of his lap onto the floor, water spraying everywhere. Zero surged forwards, gasping and heaving. He shook with exhaustion, feeling as though a thousand years had passed since he had drunk from the Shield.<p>

"Now, Rima!"

He whirled around to see Kaname shove Rima towards the window, the girl's arms were outstretched and she yelled. Then there was lightning bursting from the morning skies, crackling against the window glass. Great volts of lightning streamed through the clouds-

Wait. _Morning_? It was still morning? How long had he been away in the Memories?

Zero yelled as he was suddenly air-bound, but quickly found that it was Kaname's doing, the Pureblood's face was strained in concentration as he propelled Zero from the platform into his waiting arms. As he was caught, he writhed in Kaname's hold, it was perhaps sensitivity from the Memories he had just seen, but Kaname… _**Kaname**_.

Could they be the same person? His mind was a jumbled mess of confusion. Isamu and Kaname… well _this _Kaname looked pretty much _identical _to the one he had seen. Zero recalled being given a brief family history lesson by Yagari in his childhood, but the gruff Hunter barely glossed over it – he wasn't bothered with studying dead Ancestors, more interested in getting Zero to practise his physical training. He knew that the Kiryuu line was old, which was why it was considered a strong, prestigious family line – famous for producing the best Hunters. But he had never suspected they were so "close" to the Vampires, or at least, he hadn't ever thought one of his Ancestors would be one to fall in _love_ with a Vampire.

Honestly, Zero didn't know why Kaname had worried so much over him discovering these Memories, nor Rido for being so pleased for his eagerness to see them. In the end, he didn't even understand them _at all_.

There was no time to dwell on these thoughts anyway. As soon as the lightning had sparked from the sky, and he had fallen into Kaname's arms, Kaname signalled to Kain. The fire master instantly erupted in flames, directing them in a circle around the room. The flames poured into the room, and like any sane person, Zero screamed, shoving at Kaname.

"What the hell are you doing? We'll all be killed!"

Kaname shook his head, "Kain knows what he's doing. Come. Yuuki needs us,"

From the sudden blaze of fire, Nori had dropped her in shock, and was blindly trying to evade the flames. He and Kaname dashed towards Yuuki, but Kaname got there first and scooped her into his arms.

"Come on, Zero. We're leaving," Kaname called, making towards one of the exits Kain had left open.

Zero hesitated though, seeing Nori surrounded by the flames. It felt wrong. He wouldn't be able to live with himself, his conscience didn't agree with leaving disabled people to _burn_ to death. Anyhow, something told Zero that whatever Nori had done wrong, he hadn't done it willingly. He didn't deserve this. So he dashed back, looping an arm around the Vampire, wincing as he was clawed in panic. He dragged Nori towards the exit.

It suddenly hit Zero – where was Rido?

Amazed that he hadn't noticed sooner, he scanned the room. But it was all ablaze – he could barely see anything above the roaring fire and the smoke obscured his view.

There was no one there.

"Come!"

He turned, seeing Kaname at the door still waiting for him. Zero hurried towards him.

They ran through the narrow corridor, each supporting one side of Nori, as they tried to get out as fast as they could. At the speed they were going, it became apparent that it was mostly Kaname running and the others clinging to each other, being pulled along. Soon enough the corridor widened and they reached the gallery. A blast of hot air hit them on their backs. Zero risked a glance behind to see their exit-way corridor ablaze.

* * *

><p>"Fucking <em>shit<em>!"

Kain chortled, herding Rima away from the wrong left turn she was going for. Seiren snuck between them, snatching Rima's arm so she could follow them the correct way. The girl seemed to still be in shock from seeing Kasumi's body, as was Yuuki.

"Akatsuki, _shit_! You are **so** fucking dead!"

Kain couldn't help but howl with laughter. Seeing his fire all around him was empowering. He finally felt like he was in control of himself again, when he was in his element (quite literally). Even though he knew he was torching down priceless wall-hangings and decorations, and destroying the home of a _fucking __**Pureblood**_, he couldn't help himself. Fire was, at heart, a destructive force. Kaname had, by his signal, told him to simply make a 'diversion', but there was no way Kain was holding back.

He knew that, oddly enough, this time it was _his _fault, and he would be severely punished when (not 'if') they got home.

His jovial face contrasted with the incredibly pissed off face of his cousin, who ran beside him. Aidou's short frame was overbalanced with Yuuki on his shoulders, but he was too proud to hand her over to the more capable Kain. On top of his pride, he was scared of Kain's explosive fun at the moment. He was literally burning the place down. He didn't fancy possibly letting the princess get burnt or scalded – when Kain was 'in his element' (as he liked to say), even his skin would be blisteringly hot.

"I'm sick of this fire! I've been burnt enough times!" he squeaked, panting and choking on some smoke fumes. Kain snorted.

"Oh, grow yourself some ice shoes, you're _fine_!"

Aidou pouted but proceeded down the corridor with haste. He didn't want to risk icing his feet again. If he skidded and lost control, he could glide right into the flames! No, he'd have to cope with facing fire _again_.

"Jack be nimble, Jack be quick-"

Though he hated the reminder of the ordeal he and Kain had been through, with his very torture-device surrounding him, Aidou couldn't help but feel just as amused by Kain's over-the-top fun. He hated the heat, the fire, being burnt – but these were all elements of Kain, and…well, how could he ever hate _Kain_?

"Shut up Kain, or I'll **rip off **your bloody _candlestick!"_

* * *

><p>Ruka groaned. She checked her watch again. Did eleven o'clock count as noon? They had been in the castle for so <em>long<em>. She hated Kaname for leaving her out of the action, especially with her beloved friends in there. And her job was to babysit a bunch of recruits…

"Souen-sama,"

"Souen-_san_, is my name. _For the last time_,"

"Souen-san, what exactly is it that we are waiting for?"

Flicking her hair over her shoulder, she narrowed her eyes at the annoying fixture attached to her ankles. A young boy, a _Human_, obviously found her interesting, since she was, well, _beautiful_ (Ruka had no desire to be untruthfully modest about her beauty. She _knew_ she looked good.). He had hung around Ruka for all these long hours, barely saying a thing, but _admiring_ her. Ruka liked to be admired, but not for several _hours_ like this. This boy was honestly creeping her out, he was only like…fifteen years old, maybe?

"We're looking for a change in weather," Ruka drawled, "Like a flash of lightning. That's our signal to go in,"

"Oh," the boy nodded, still staring at her. She scowled, leaning over to tap his knee.

"Oi, if you want to be useful, look over there-"

Just as she had pointed her finger to the sky, it burst into lightning. Startled, the whole army gasped collectively, turning their faces up to the sky. There was no thunder, but the lighting was almost blinding in its intensity.

"Whoa! Did you do that?"

"I did _not_," Ruka ran out of the forest, to the Border. She turned to face her charges, "Everybody, _move!"_

* * *

><p>Kaname's eyes scanned everyone several times till he was satisfied they were all safely out of the building. His eyes lingered on Kain, whose face was still flushed in pleasure. The fire master promptly stopped smiling and lowered his eyes reproachfully.<p>

The Hanadagi mansion was billowing smoke, but as soon as they had cleared the building, Kain had sucked all the fire out in one fell sweep. They couldn't afford to risk harming the sleeping family. Kain knew he had controlled the fire to swerve far away from them.

Unfortunately, Nori was inconsolable. No matter what they tried to tell him, he couldn't believe his family were safe. He couldn't see it to believe it, and all there was to smell was burnt furniture. The poor Pureblood sat beside a sympathetic Zero.

They all gathered on the grass, exhausted from running, but still wary of Rido's whereabouts. He had vanished completely. Kaname, personally, was grateful for it. He was pretty that Rido's goal had been met now – he had wanted to show Zero… to show… Kaname's eyes strayed to Zero, who was attempting to comfort Nori, though he was still stubbornly despondent. Even though he thought he knew what Zero had seen…why then was he so calm about it? Had Kaname feared the worst for nothing? Maybe the worst of the Memories hadn't been seen. He certainly hoped that was the case. This was one of the terrible things about the Rose Shield – you never knew what you would see, it was completely unpredictable in what it would show you.

From the Border, he could see the tiny pinprick movements of the recruit army moving towards them. Now that they all were safe, Kaname realised that they were unnecessary, but it was better to be cautious than sorry later.

He walked forwards towards them, slightly away from the group, waiting for them patiently.

No doubt Ruka would come rushing a good hundred metres ahead of the army, desperate to see her friends safe.

But up ahead, something stirred in the air, a crackle – and it wasn't Rima's lightning.

Immediately Kaname motioned Seiren to join him. He knew he hadn't imagined the crackle, but it was unusual, for him to be unable to see what it was.

"Seiren, we need to leave immediately,"

"Toya-san called for reinforcements…"

"I know, but that was a precautionary measure. We're out of the castle now, we must leave,"

"Hai, Kaname-sama," she bowed, scurrying off to round up the group. As she did, Kaname squinted off into the distance, staring at the place he'd seen the crackle. There was never relief in escaping Rido, because you always knew you weren't safe, you'd never be safe with him looking for you.

And right now, with his half-injured, half-traumatised group, Kaname wasn't allowing himself to relax in the slightest. This confrontation was definitely not over yet.

What frustrated Kaname the most about Rido was the way he played with him and never revealed what his intentions were. He still didn't understand why Rido had lured them there. Was it simply to get to Zero, so he could show him those Memories? If so, what had Rido gained? All that had done was make Zero aware of… aware of _**them**_.

His stomach clenched.

It was frightening for him to not know completely what Zero knew now. He would just have to wait for him to speak, to ask _questions_. And then he would have to answer, with the truth.

Zero deserved the truth.

Kaname sighed, what _was_ that crackle? Squinting, he stiffened as he saw it crackle again. Something fell out of seeming nothingness. He watched the figure stand up slowly, tensing. Was it Rido? He opened his mouth to call the others alert, but then the figure turned. He didn't recognise who it was, but saw that it was a young woman. She also looked bewildered, spinning around to meet his gaze, and then catching sight of the castle. He saw her gasp, putting her hand to her mouth as she saw it, and then she turned and saw the army charging towards her.

Something stirred in his stomach, a gut feeling that she was innocent.

A gentle breeze blew from her direction, Kaname sniffed it urgently, eyes widening when he realised.

She was a Human.

And then the air crackled again, and there was Rido.

* * *

><p>The others had noticed too and pulled up beside him.<p>

"Get back!"

Kaname stretched his arms out, creating an imaginary barrier which _none_ should cross. He scowled briefly when Zero blatantly went right against his arm, staring at him defiantly as he pushed against it. Finally he threw Kaname's left arm down and stumbled forwards, peering towards Rido and the girl.

He couldn't help but notice the bruises on the back of his neck, spreading in tendrils shaped like fingers. Zero looked like he'd been strangled from the wrong side of his neck. Kaname shook his attention from him though, he must see what Rido was up to.

Rido was holding the girl now, around the waist. His posture was open and he beckoned the army towards him. From their distance, they saw the army falter at the sight of Rido. Kaname could imagine Ruka's surprise as she reined in the army, urging them forwards, even as their confidence began to wane, seeing a Pureblood before them.

They knew that they could not kill a Pureblood – it was both impossible, and a death sentence. Ruka was probably going to order them to try to avoid Rido and aim for the castle, where she thought they were.

But then he saw her close enough, and she spotted him also. Kaname could see the panic in her face, her eyes darting towards Rido. He held up his hand, telling her to not approach any further. They would have to wait and see what Rido had to say.

Seeing the army stop around him, an arch of clear perimeter between himself and the Vampires, Rido smiled, his teeth flashing white, visible even from the distance. He raised his arms, theatrically opening his body welcomingly towards his audience, like a circus ringleader. Then he began to speak, and with no wind to muffle him, his voice was clear across the grassy plane.

"Is this your army, Kaname?" he laughed, "How many are there? A couple hundred? Enough to guard your precious Hunter, but are they enough against _my_ forces?

"My, my, Vampires, what a sorry band you make! Look at yourselves. How many of you eat those blood pills, like you're curing Vampirism as though it is a _sickness_. Where is your pride? Be proud of yourselves and what you are. Be proud of your hunger. Your insatiable _thirst_. That is the special thing about Vampires – we are clever. The very device of **hunger**, our natural appetite for blood marks us as an eternally superior species. We know that true power lies in the blood.

"I welcome you to join me and fight for **us**. The world belongs to us, or at least it should have been ours. Humans should have died out many years ago, but due to a fool's mistake, they survived and _now see how they are_. They live freely in this world. They don't even know of our existence because some think we must conceal ourselves, for the means of preserving the Humans' sanity. They **fear** us. No matter what you say, they will always fear us. Even if you save a Human's life, they will turn on you in disgust and fear.

"They are an ignorant and weak race – one that should be extinguished. Look at her," he snapped, throwing the girl in his arms to the floor. She screeched as he pulled her hair, yanking her head up to face him.

"Rido, that's enough," Kaname called, edging forwards. _What was a Human doing here? What was Kaname thinking?_

But Rido ignored him, tugging on the girl's hair until she screamed in pain, scrabbling at his hands, he had dragged her onto her feet again. "Look at her,"

"Rido, _that's enough_!"

"She is a prime example of the Human race. They're weak. Even with all her strength, she cannot stop me-"

"_Rido_!"

"**This**," Rido held the girl up, swinging her by her hair so they could all see her. "This is **food**. Nothing more. The Humans are our livestock, if they insist on continuing to litter our world. They belong with the beasts we farm and eat,"

At this point, the girl was sobbing, and everyone could see the dark patch in her crotch and smell the mess she had made in her fear. They all watched in disbelief as Rido began to unbutton her shirt.

Zero sprung forwards, gasping as the air was squeezed out of him against Kaname's restraining arms, "-Kaname!" he hissed in protest.

The Pureblood shook his head, holding him tightly, even as he struggled and grunted in pain when his aching bruises were disturbed. "Kaname! We have to stop this,"

However Kaname shook his head solemnly, his eyes fixed on Rido and the girl. Zero stared at him in disbelief. _Rido was going to _kill_ her – _and they were just going to **watch**?

They all watched Rido peel the girl's collar open, exposing her vulnerable neck. Zero felt sick. He kicked backwards, bucking against Kaname's hold. "_No!_ He can't do this!"

At this, Rido swerved around, his attention suddenly drawn to him. The girl spun in the air, held by his powers as he took a step towards them. Kaname instantly drew back, pulling Zero with him, but Rido didn't make his way towards him. It was only his keen eyes that stared at Zero with barely concealed amusement.

"Dear Vampires, this is now the perfect example of the _other_ enemy you aren't even aware of. Many of you have already fought alongside the Hunters during the last War, but would you have complied so readily, had you known that the Hunters are past Humans who _ate our Ancestor's flesh_?"

This made the army suddenly disperse into murmurs of disbelief, and they stared at Zero, hard accusing eyes labelling him as "Hunter", and from Rido's description- "**enemy**". Zero almost coloured, feeling all the eyes trained him.

"Yes. And _that boy_ in your beloved King's arms is among those who first ate her. He was the one who first bit into her flesh-"

"_That's a lie!_" Kaname roared, bringing Zero closer to him.

"No matter, no matter – believe what you want," Rido said, waving his arms in an exaggerated placating manner, "It doesn't matter. What I brought you all here to do was to explain my reasoning and get some facts straight.

"My side of the fight will be on behalf of all Vampires. I fight for our dominion of the world – our birthright as a race. Your King fails you. He does not love you enough in return for the love you give him. He is _weak_ for the Humans, he even favours them over you. His power is wasted on them, even now," he chuckled, glaring at Kaname darkly, "When he only has a few years left," his eyes flickered towards Zero before returning to the wider audience. "The Original King will reign as long as he loves his people, but does he love them enough?

"I'm giving you all a choice, to join me or stay with _him_. This war will be between Vampires and the lesser species. If I win, I will bring a new age of prosperity for our people. I will use my Pureblood power to do what is **right. **I leave it to your faithful army, Kaname, to choose which side to take. You will see once and for all where the true loyalty of the Vampires lies,"

Rido hitched the girl up in his hands again, shaking her like a lifeless ragdoll in his grip. She shrieked as he dug his claws into her skin. The first motes of Human blood drifted into the air. Zero was transfixed on the girl, but from his peripheral vision he could see hundreds among the army who were unused to the scent of fresh blood – their eyes glowed red, and some even clutched their noses desperately trying to control themselves.

Then Rido's head snapped down, and he _**gorged**_ on her.

The ear-splitting screams echoed out, all across the plateau. Zero couldn't stand it. No one was moving. No one was even trying to stop Rido. Part of him longed to spin around and punch Kaname till his arms loosened, but the iron tight grip around his waist told him even his punches wouldn't be enough to convince Kaname to let go. Another part of Zero was like those around him, reluctant to intervene. Rido was _eating_ her, he could see the blood dripping from his chin, trailing down the girl's neck and staining her shirt red.

Rido was pulsating with power and confidence, and though Zero had a powerful, confident Pureblood right behind him, the thought of leaving his place to confront Rido was daunting. The savageness of the way he tore into her was intimidating, even to the Vampires, for whom this was a display of their absolute authority, their "right" to treat humans as _livestock_. The girl's screams had finally faded out, and now the only sound everyone could hear was Rido's slurping and the sick squelching of his bloody lips on her skin.

When he finally tore off of her, dropping her like a stone to the floor, he grinned widely at them with bloodstained teeth. His mouth was still dripping. Zero suspected the feeding had been all for show, since he was carelessly letting so much blood go to waste.

"This is food," he grinned, maliciously stepping on the girl's knee. With a sickening crack, her knee cap gave, splintering into many pieces when he rolled his foot over. She didn't make a sound. Rido spread his arms again, a horrifying picture of welcome. "If you choose to join me, we will gather in this castle. Nori, come," he motioned towards the still incoherent Pureblood.

Numbly, they watched as Nori stood and blindly staggered over to Rido, and he gasped when he was caught in Rido's welcome embrace. Kaname jammed his hand against Zero's mouth as he opened it. He dipped his head down to the level of Zero's ear, whispering, "Don't. He can't help it,"

Rido bowed mockingly towards Kaname, laying his hand on Nori's shoulder securely, he turned towards the castle.

* * *

><p>They returned to Kuran Castle swiftly and in silence. Seiren quietly led the new recruits towards the barracks the servants had prepared. Zero caught a glimpse of Takuma at the door, but was whisked away before he could even see his relieved face. Kaname was insistent on getting him, Kain and Aidou fully checked up by the good doctor. Already he could hear Aidou squawking at a nurse who was ripping his shirt from his scorched skin, and Kain grumbling as the doctor checked his circulation for fault (Apparently he had been bound in ice for a long time. As they'd been told this, their eyes drifted to Aidou, who scoffed and simply pointed at his burnt feet in defence. The story of what they'd been through was very strange and complicated, at least when it was being told by Aidou, and so they really had no idea what had happened for sure).<p>

Zero was lying on a bed, for no other reason than Kaname had put him there and was sitting next to him, daring him with his eyes to move.

So Zero sat up and directed his own frightful glare at Kaname, marvelling at how the Pureblood didn't even flinch at the sight. For a while it was a battle of the eyes, one glaring at another for defying his orders, the other glaring at the audacity he'd had to give him orders. Finally Zero harrumphed and shook his head gravely.

"I don't understand you, Kaname. You could have stopped him, so why didn't you? An innocent girl died today!"

Kaname closed his eyes, letting a breath hiss out of his teeth.

"Her death is regrettable, Zero, and I'm not saying it was expendable, but it was necessary,"

Seeing that he was speaking in a voice deep with regret, and his forehead pinched in worry (of many things), Zero's fierce eyes reluctantly softened. He hadn't known the girl, but it didn't make her death any less poignant. Never had Zero seen anything like that, even during the last War, no one had been slaughtered like that and disgraced in their last moments like _that, _where Rido had tossed her aside and degraded her to _food_.

He saw that Kaname felt guilty for her death, and shuffled sideways to lower his head to reach Kaname's view. When he caught Kaname's eye this time, he tilted his head to the side as a sort of way of apologising and forgiving at the same time. At the same time, his eyes told Kaname that he should _explain_ what he had meant by "necessary".

"They had to see…"

Kaname held his head in between his hands, framing his weary face.

"What do you mean?"

"I wanted everyone to see what Rido's intentions are. If they didn't get the chance to see the brutality of his goals, they wouldn't fully understand why we need to defeat him. They might never know exactly what they are fighting _for_, but I want them to know what they're fighting _against_ at the very least,"

So one life had to be sacrificed for hundreds of people to _understand_ Rido's intentions? Zero could actually see the validity of that argument. Rido's ideals… the full impact of them were difficult to take without a shot like that.

_One life to be sacrificed…_

Zero blinked rapidly, finding a strange burning sensation in his eyes as he remembered the Memory of that Lady. That tragic scene of her brutal slaughter, though that time it had been a reversal of the recent girl's death – the _Humans _had been the ones to feast on her blood. Her loss, her sacrifice, _for the Humans…_

"…Zero? Zero?"

"Hmm?" he jolted, shaking himself from his reverie.

Kaname fixed him with a worried stare, but after a few moments of having Zero stare back at him dryly, he blanked his face and stood slowly.

Zero almost scoffed when Kaname offered him his hand to get off the bed, but took it when he realised his body, at least, was still unsettled from all the events of the day. On shaky legs, he found himself supported around the waist, _again_, as Kaname led them out of the Infirmary.

He was partially glad that this time Kaname didn't bother with throwing him over his shoulder. This wasn't the time for playing around like that (since when did he think of it as _playing around_, he didn't know…). Kaname obviously realised Zero had quite a stubborn pride, and that to prevent them from being on unfriendly terms, he would have to assent to Zero's pride. That meant walking much slower than he wanted, because then _Zero's feet_ could walk by themselves, and letting only the bare palm of his hand touch Zero's waist as a measure of support.

Zero appreciated Kaname's thoughtfulness, but despised the Pureblood's mysteriousness and obsession with being secretive. If he wanted to take him somewhere, he could at least tell Zero where the hell they were going, right?


	54. It's All About You

**Author's note:**

**300! (reviews)**

**Madness?... This isn't **_**madness**_**… THIS. IS. YAAAAOOOOOIIIIIIIIIIII!**

**Lol, I dare some of you to say that to someone you know. I. dare. ****you****.**

* * *

><p>They didn't walk for long though, and yet when they finally stopped, Zero still wasn't entirely sure where they were. The corridor was completely empty and unremarkable. The only thing it provided was privacy-<p>

Zero found himself suddenly spun around and gently pushed to lean against the wall, which was good, because his legs had begun to ache from all the fast walking he was being pushed to do recently. He was exhausted just trying to suppress all the winces and groans when he actually managed to feel the blood pool in between his joints – the bruising wasn't limited to just the skin, he found, it went much deeper, often seeping into his joints and around the bones. It made most of his movements accompanied by pain. Zero dreaded the day when the blood would begin to feud around his much more delicate organs.

He frowned sharply, looking around for where Kaname had gone.

And then he found himself trapped in Kaname's arms. Kaname leaned over him, pressing his face so close to Zero that he sucked in a breath of surprise, inhaling the Pureblood's naturally alluring scent.

Suddenly Zero was thrown back to the Memories of **that **Kaname and Isamu… they had often embraced like this, though in the safety of their precious glade in the mountain pass. He'd seen the scenes of their life through third perspective, like he was watching a film screen. So this was completely different to what he had experienced. This was _Isamu's_ place, first-hand.

And all of a sudden their position felt too intimate. Too _friendly_. Zero was wildly reminded of the fact that **that** Kaname (who was suspiciously _identical_ to **this** Kaname. Zero blamed it on the funk of genetics) and Isamu had been _**lovers**_. He and Kaname were **not**. And although the look on Kaname's face was more of suspicion and concern than any outright desire, Zero felt his face colouring at their proximity, and the fact that _Kaname was in his personal space-_

It felt _wrong_ to be in his place.

Zero shoved Kaname back, throwing a warning glare at him, as though warning him to watch his space.

But Kaname was just staring at him. Intense, soulful eyes bored into Zero's, and then trailed around his face, _down his body_, and up again to his eyes… what on _earth?_ Zero folded his arms over his body protectively, feeling like Kaname was looking at more than just what he physically was. It was like Kaname's eyes were looking for something else in Zero.

When his eyes fell to the floor, Zero wondered if he hadn't found what he was looking for. But Kaname's expression was one of relief when he raised his head again, he didn't look happy, but he looked strangely satisfied.

"Kaname," Zero said, more like a question than just to get his attention again.

The odd searching look in Kaname's eyes vanished, and he blinked quickly, coming back to the present.

"Ah, Zero," he cleared his throat, running a hand through his hair, "Yes, I wanted to speak to you before the others. I told you before that it doesn't matter so much that the army knows what they are fighting for, but more that they know who they are fighting against. That goes the same for the others, mostly, but for you – you need to know more.

"I don't know how much of what I say to you will make sense, so, when I say the name '_Katsuo'_ to you, do you know anything about him?"

Zero nodded. Of course he knew who Katsuo was.

"Do you _see_ the similarities he bears to Rido?"

Of course he did. Zero was naturally intelligent – he instantly saw the links between what Rido and Katsuo had said. Their beliefs were uncannily alike, as well as the burning expression in their eyes when they looked at Zero (or Isamu), like they were scum.

"Rido is targeting you, Zero, just like Isamu was targeted by Katsuo,"

Zero's interest was piqued when Kaname mentioned Isamu. How did he know about him? He almost slapped himself, feeling stupid – if Kaname knew about Katsuo, he would know about Isamu. But did that mean that Kaname knew about _Kaname_?

"What, so Rido _knows_ about Katsuo and Isamu?" he exclaimed. Kaname nodded solemnly, and then he began to look uncomfortable again, holding his hand up as Zero opened his mouth to ask 'why?'

Kaname wasn't ready to answer 'why?' yet. He was mulling over the many thoughts and worries in his head, wondering if he was panicking for nothing. As far as he could see, Zero didn't hate him like he had feared. Perhaps it was because he didn't know he _should_ hate Kaname, from what he had seen, or maybe he hadn't been shown _those _Memories that would make Kaname his monster, by the Rose Shield. This blind spot troubled him. He didn't know how to act around Zero anymore, if he could embrace him, or if he should avoid him. If Zero _didn't_ _**know**_… then Kaname would have to tell him later, when the time was more appropriate, he would tell him everything about them.

"Zero," he said softly, "I have so much to tell you, but now is not the time. But if you find yourself needing answers, you know you can come to me. At any time,"

Impressed by his generosity, Zero simply said, "Okay," seeing as he expected in time questions would begin to pop into his head, after he had sorted out his muddled mind from the bombardment of Memories he had seen.

"Good," he took Zero's hand, seeing the quick roll of Zero's eyes and the pinch of his lips which betrayed his pain. Kaname's eyes again wandered over Zero's face, the strangling bruise had crept up to reach the sharp line of his jaw. Without meaning to, his free hand traced Zero's jaw, following the darkened skin. His curious fingers tried to push the bruise away, to smooth over the ugly blotches with Zero's white skin.

And then it was like one of those moments when you realise you've been doing something that would be considered _very odd_, and the embarrassment began to sink in. He shot backwards, like Zero had pushed him away himself. But Zero was just gazing at him, wide-eyed and completely baffled.

"We should get going. Find the others," Kaname mumbled, wishing so Zero couldn't see the discomfiture in his face. He jerkily forced his himself to take Zero's again, and shot a glare somewhere down the corridor, before dragging Zero off again. Zero craned his head to look where Kaname had glared at. All he saw was a flash of blonde.

* * *

><p>Waiting for his friends' return had been a lonely and dismal task. Takuma had tried to fill his time productively with ransacking the libraries for possible cures for Shiki. But it was distracting to know the only other person in the castle was avoiding him, hiding away in his room because Takuma had refused to lock Shiki away.<p>

Perhaps it was stupid and naïve to have let Shiki roam free, but the sentimental part of Takuma would never believe that Shiki could harm _him_. The logical part of Takuma reasoned that, as Shiki's Bondmate, and since it had been _Takuma_ who had Bitten Shiki, he had a certain level of control over Shiki. Shiki's life was tied to _his_. Rido must be aware of this, if he was keeping an eye on them. To save Shiki from dying, he had let him partially Bond to Takuma so his life would be bonded to Takuma, rather than his deceased mother. This meant that now Rido needed Takuma alive, and therefore Takuma couldn't be harmed.

This didn't mean that Shiki wasn't a danger to Takuma though, and he was bitterly aware of that fact.

If he let his guard down around Shiki, who knew if Rido would take the chance and Bite Takuma, Bonding them completely. Then Takuma would be at risk – he didn't know if that meant that he would also be under Rido's control through Shiki.

For this reason, he had left Shiki alone, avoiding him too. It was difficult to be away from his constant shadow, his precious friend, because Takuma at heart was a sociable vampire. Sometimes he found himself lifting his head from his reading, mouth opened to comment on something interesting or funny he had read, and then he would realise he was alone with no one to share it with.

Being used to being so _attached _to someone, and then having them not with you was totally disorientating. Not many people knew that Takuma found it difficult to be by himself. His life, for the most part, had been filled with solitude.

Takuma had no brothers or sisters. His parents died when he was young, and his grandfather… well his grandfather was _never_ there, not that he particularly wanted _his_ company. Now that he was gone, when away from Kurosu Academy, he lived alone in his large, beautiful, empty mansion.

It was only when he met Shiki that he felt some of the loneliness begin to drift away.

Shiki was an easy person to be around. Takuma had recognised that in him from the first moment they met. Like himself, they could fit in amongst any group of people. Before, Takuma had thought this was a disadvantage, because if you were a "floater", able to merge into any crowd, you didn't really belong anywhere. Nobody understood that being with people didn't mean you weren't lonely.

A sense of belonging, an association to somebody – this was what Takuma craved. When he met Shiki, they drifted along together; he found permanence in the friendship they shared, because they could drift along with no one to belong to, except from each other.

And Shiki didn't find his cheery demeanour annoying (he found it strange, but it didn't bother him) – he actually was one of the few people who could see his true emotions _beneath_ it. Takuma adored Shiki's stable companionship, even if he was quiet and looked perpetually bored, he liked to believe he could understand what the redhead was thinking from his eyes.

Takuma felt trapped in the castle, left with nothing to do but worry and do futile research for a cure he wasn't sure even existed. If Pure blood couldn't cure Shiki, what else could?

His eyes drifted towards the _other_ books he had picked out.

Books called _**Blood Cancer: The Origins **_and _**Diseases of the Blood**__._

Knowing that Kaname was busy with many things, and Takuma was not, he had decided to do some useful research that no doubt Kaname wanted to do himself but didn't have the time for.

Medical books were _not_ Takuma's area of expertise, which he knew before, but only recently had he begun to appreciate how little he understood medicine. He had gone to speak to the doctor about both the curse and Zero's blood disease, but like the diagnoses he had given before, his input was not very helpful at all. There was just too much to read, and Takuma was afraid he was missing important details, simply because he couldn't _understand_ them. What if he had already found the cures, but he just hadn't noticed them?

As far as Takuma _could_ understand, the bruises on Zero's body were _not_ a good sign.

The books wrote about past experiments vampires had carried out, involving the mixing of different vampire statuses, through the Bond. Usually problems didn't occur with them, for example, a Level C vampire could easily Bond to a Level B without problems. But that type of Bonding was well known for its success, so he wasn't particularly surprised.

Purebloods tended to Bond and mate within their own group, so there were far less experiments with them mixing their blood, or at least, far less _documented_ experiments. Takuma knew that it was dangerous to even attempt to experiment on Purebloods, let alone _publish_ your findings for the world to see. Purebloods were private, and their blood needed to be protected, their secrets needed to be kept.

From the few documents he found, the only experiments were between Purebloods and Level Bs, which _again_, wasn't surprising. If they were to dilute their blood at all, it would be best to keep it to a minimum. There were no records of Bonding between Purebloods and the lower class vampires at all. That would be a scandal, and extremely unusual, much like the Bonding between Kaname and Zero was. It wasn't like that sort of thing hadn't been done before though, because Takuma knew very well the old practise of Purebloods Binding lower classes like personal slaves to themselves.

When the Pureblood Bit the lower class vampire, their lives would become immortalised like the Pureblood, and they would serve the Pureblood for the rest of their lives.

Takuma was very well aware that Zero was _not_ in any way Kaname's slave.

Purebloods claimed nowadays that they abhorred the idea of enslaving people, though many still did in secret. Kaname was one of the few Purebloods who truly never wanted to carry out that sort of practise.

Anyhow, it had been Zero who had Bitten Kaname.

**This** was unheard of.

Kaname had willingly tied his life to Zero's _extremely_ short life expectancy, as a Level **D** vampire. Level Ds weren't meant to be a permanent transition in Turning Vampires – they were ex-Humans, which meant that naturally, their bodies would reject the Vampire venom when Turned, and their blood would be in turmoil. _Naturally_ Level Ds should fall to Level E state. The madness would consume them until they were little more than the monsters most Humans thought Vampires to be.

But Zero was a unique case where there had been someone who wanted to _prolong_ his life, someone who was so unexpected to feel this way that even Takuma had been taken aback when he found out, along with the others at the Coronation, what Kaname had done. Feeding Zero Pure blood let the vampire blood in him have some sort of dominance over the Human blood, which was beneficial in the end, because it preserved him in his new vampire life.

What Kaname hadn't possibly put into the mix was the possibility that his Pure blood would react **badly** to Zero's Hunter blood. There wasn't just the mix of Pure blood and Human, there was also _very strong_ Hunter blood in his body.

Like the two species themselves which were constantly at odd ends, their blood simulated this constant feud. If you personified the blood – Zero's Hunter blood was too proud to give up his body, and Kaname's Pure blood was too overpowering to give up its attempt to take Zero's body.

Neither side would give up, and Zero was suffering for it.

He only found **one **recorded experiment which detailed the Level B Biting the Pureblood first – **not surprising** – the very _idea_ of someone Biting a Pureblood _first _(especially if they weren't Purebloods themselves) was startling! Who would have the nerve? Who had the authority to ask to bind a Pureblood to their own short life?

In this document, the Pureblood wrote the account himself, and Takuma had been amazed at what he had found, particularly in the way the Pureblood wrote expressively and in great detail – the personality of the Bond he described was incredibly moving. They described the Bond like one would describe a friend, a thick chord which grew between him and his new mate, drawing them close so they were always with each other. And he wrote about his Level B Bondmate as though she was incredibly important to him. Takuma even speculated the idea that they had been in **love**, which would make sense in a way, because then the Pureblood would definitely have done the Bonding willingly. In which case the Bonding was less of an experiment, and the document was rather more like a diary. The Pureblood wrote about how they yearned to Bite their Bondmate, because time seemed to pass slowly, especially since his immortal life had been shortened to that of a Level B's – every moment they had was precious. He had wanted to immortalise their time together. Takuma felt guilty for reading it, like he was prying into someone's private thoughts. The passion the Pureblood felt for his Bondmate was startling.

The question logically sprung to mind:

Could Kaname feel this way about Zero? The exact incentive Kaname had for saving Zero was still unknown to Takuma, but this _passionate document_ displayed a very possible reason for it.

Purebloods only Bonded for love. In their long lives, it only made sense to share it with one they loved wholeheartedly. Giving up their immortal life for the one they loved…it was the greatest sacrifice a Pureblood could make.

Anyway, _anyway!_ Takuma was getting very off-topic, and snooping where he shouldn't. He forced himself to leave this speculating to another time. He had to find a way to stop Zero's bruising and neutralise the blood feud. The doctor had told him it was because Kaname's blood had been made dormant by chilling that Zero's blood had any chance to begin the attack, but Takuma felt that it had only been a matter of time before the warring began.

Again, the only cure Takuma could find for blood diseases was _Pure blood_.

In this case, the Pure blood was the very reason for why Zero was _experiencing_ his problem.

The only other solution Takuma could think of, was if Zero was to allow Kaname to complete the Bond. If he could let Kaname _Bite_ him that would complete the Bond and then his blood might stabilise. But Bonding was always different in every couple's case – you can never predict what the outcome would be.

He needed Aidou to help him, _he_ was the expert at doing research and, well, Aidou was just much more clever than him, he was a _genius_.

Takuma could not long for his friends' return more than he did now.

And then his head shot up, and he smiled.

He heard footsteps approaching the castle.

* * *

><p>"Kaname-!"<p>

"Gather the others to meet me in the Warm Parlour. You'll find Aidou passing this corridor a few minutes after us," Kaname gestured to himself and Zero, who glared at him sourly, "He's been following us, as always. The others will be in the Infirmary. I'm giving you ten minutes,"

"Ah-! Kaname-"

"Hurry, Takuma. Time is of the essence,"

Takuma fumbled with his chair, wincing as the wooden legs scraped against the floor as he jerked out of his seat. Kaname and Zero's heads had popped into the library and by now they were gone. He blinked, wondering why the sudden haste.

When his friends had arrived at the castle, Takuma had been overjoyed, but quickly was pushed aside as they bustled around, calling for servants and transporting the wounded to the Infirmary. Finding himself out of place and in the way, Takuma reluctantly drew back into the library to research some more and arrange his notes for Kaname. He would have to wait for the others to recover before he attempted to get an update on what had gone on at the Hanadagi's.

But clearly, recovery was even being shoved aside, as more important matters needed to be dealt with immediately. Takuma quickly gathered his books into a bag (usefully provided in stacks in the library) and hurried out of the door, almost bumping into someone in the dark.

There was a squeak when he stepped on a foot, apologising profusely and fumbling around for the person. His fingers recoiled at the freezing cold of the person's skin. Aidou.

"Ichijou!" Aidou exclaimed, glowering at Takuma's amused face. He was red-faced in embarrassment, knowing he had been caught by not only Takuma, but he'd been noticed by Kaname before too. He was in for a world of punishment.

"Ah, ah… Aidou-kun. Have we been eavesdropping again?" Takuma laughed, wrapping a brotherly arm around the younger blonde and ruffling his already-ruffled locks. Aidou huffed, blowing his cheeks out angrily. He'd been so careless! Why did Kaname always manage to find him when he was listening in? And he was always so certain he wouldn't be found…

"It's so unfair! I was so sure-"

Takuma easily slipped into Kain's missing role, tweaking Aidou's nose and laughing heartily, "_Someone's _in trouble!"

He laughed even more when he realised Kain would be in for a surprise, since he always accompanied his cousin on punishments. And this time he wouldn't even know why that was!


	55. For Those We Hold Dear

Kaname stood, watching his friends settle in their seats. They were in the room Kaname and Takuma called the "Warm Parlour" when they were young, because it was practically the only warm place in the castle during winter, since it was situated directly above the kitchen vents. He could see Kain idly picking at the warm pads that had been bandaged to his hands, his eyes flitting inquisitively over to a very red, guilty-faced Aidou on the opposite sofa. He saw Rima and Yuuki were fairly back to normal, sitting together though, since they still needed someone beside them who knew how they felt. Ruka hung around Aidou, eyeing his red face too and prodding him every now and again, gaining squeaks and growls from him. Zero looked, as always, out of place, sat reluctantly beside an icy Ruka. And Takuma was the only one of them whose eyes met Kaname's as they fell on him.

He drew some confidence from the steady gaze of Takuma's warm, green eyes. As always, his best friend's calm, composed presence settled the nervous butterflies (more like angry bees) flying around in his stomach.

Kaname was very conscious of the fact that what he planned to tell his friends, what he needed to say… it would change their views of him, irrevocably. His eyes slowly took them all in, as if he was seeing them for the last time. They were his closest friends, the ones who knew him for the longest time. They were the rare few people Kaname felt comfortable with being himself with.

And this could blow it all to hell. They might never trust him again.

_Do they even know how precious they are to me?_

Kaname cleared his throat, though the action wasn't at all necessary. Everyone's attentions had been drawn to him the moment he began to pace (he hadn't noticed his own feet moving automatically, falling into the routine way he had of calming himself down when he was stressed).

"I have some things I need to tell you all, some things I should have told you long ago. Unfortunately due to _someone listening in _on our conversation earlier," Kaname threw a very obvious look towards red-Aidou, watching Kain lean over to smack him on his knee and mouth '_What did you do?_', "And that person's tendency to spin rumours _wildly out of _proportion, I have decided to explain everything to you, because I need all your help to figure out how to stop Rido. And for everyone to be able to do so, we all need to be on the same page.

"I have… I've got something I must confess to you," Kaname fumbled with his wrist, biting his lip as his foot began to jerk insistently, desperate to pace, "I am afraid of... You don't know how much… you…" _mean to me. I don't want you to hate me. Please don't hate-_

"Kaname,"

Like a splash of cold water, Kaname felt himself wake from his small panic attack, and saw all his friends' concerned expressions on him, and felt Takuma's firm hand on his shoulder. His teeth released his lip and he forced his feet to remain still. He couldn't afford to act like this. _Get a hold of yourself._

He returned Takuma's grip, clutching his shoulder, afraid to let go.

"I have been lying to you, all these years, and _it's been killing me_, not to admit it," he stammered, watching Takuma's face morph into a frown and his mouth open, but Kaname quickly held his other hand up, halting his friends from protesting. He gripped Takuma, urgently staring into his face, "From the first day I met you, Takuma. What did they tell you to call me?"

Takuma thought back to the day he was first introduced to Kaname, as a young child. He had been brought to this very castle, and a servant had showed him to Kaname's room, bowing and introducing him to a handsome, stern little boy who didn't smile in welcome like Takuma did.

"I don't understand. They introduced you to me as _Kaname_, and that's the same name as I've ever called you by,"

"Kuran Kaname. That is the name they told you,"

Takuma nodded uncertainly. What was Kaname getting at?

"I'm not who you think I am. But my name is Kaname,"

He watched Kaname's eyes piercing into his own, begging him to understand, to _unravel_ the enigmatic riddle he had just spoken. Takuma hated it when Kaname relied on him to think through his riddles, taking the roundabout method to saying things simply, because he didn't want to overload him with information all in one go. It wasn't lost on him that Kaname had referred back to their childhood. Knowing him so well, he knew that the fact that he was pulling at the very beginning of their memories together meant Kaname was expecting him to start from _there_ in his detective work.

_I'm not who you think I am_.

Then who could you be?

Takuma tried to recall his childhood memories, but they were as always, a blurry at best – he remembered his childhood with Kaname reverently, though he never sugar-coated those days. Some days he remembered being bored with the strange, quiet child he'd been sent to befriend. Other days they'd be thick as thieves, running all over the place crazily and playing in the "strolling garden".

He tried to focus his memories to the days when he was taking lessons with Kaname. In fact, it wasn't just him and Kaname, but Aidou, Kain and Ruka too. As young children, they would learn all about the structure of Vampires, history, literature…

_But my name is Kaname._

_But my name is _**Kaname.**

"Kaname…" he breathed, eyes snapping wide open as he _remembered_ that day, that lesson. That lesson had been a history lesson, all about the origins of Vampires, how they came out of the death of a past world. When they had been Awakened at the dawn of the new world. And the Ancestors had started this world, one of whom had been-

"No way,"

He whirled around to see Aidou, his expression exactly conveying what Takuma himself felt. Clearly he had managed to piece it together too. Kain was pawing at the side of the sofa, desperate not to be left out of what they had figured out.

"What?" he leaned over Yuuki and Rima to pinch Aidou, "What do you get?"

"It's _Kaname_, Kat. There is only one other Kaname," his cousin breathed.

Kain frowned, for only a second, before his face drew into one similar to Aidou's, "No _way_,"

Suddenly Takuma became aware of his hands. In fact, he became aware of everything about Kaname – the way he had always been so unusual as a child, so mature and calm. Being friends with Kaname had always been a strange experience. Sometimes as a child he'd felt like he was playing with someone much older than he was, even though the Kaname the child was the same age as him. Other times, funnily enough, he felt like it was the opposite – like he was teaching a younger child how to **be** a child. As a child Kaname had had very odd habits, and often didn't do as he was told, not because he had a bad attitude or was poorly behaved, but just because he didn't seem to understand the way things worked.

He released Kaname's shoulders.

At that instant, he saw something in Kaname's eyes died, and regretted it immediately.

"Kaname,"

Zero had spoken. He was standing, like Takuma, magnetically pulled towards Kaname with his hand outstretched and his face alive with amazement. Kaname was staring at him too, and Takuma felt very out of place as he watched them watching each other so intensely. It astonished him to see the way Kaname's attention had been captured the instant Zero had spoken, and now, even though seconds ago Takuma had seen Kaname's eyes dim, he once again looked revived.

Once again, Takuma's mind took a small step back in time, to the document he had read about the Pureblood and his Level B Bondmate. The passion there, the devotion…

The air around Kaname and Zero felt like it was sizzling, and Takuma even found himself taking a step backwards to give them space to _look_ at each other.

"You're Kaname," Zero repeated, his eyes narrowing. Kaname nodded, "_That_ Kaname. The one with Isamu-"

"You're saying that you're Kaname the Ancestor? The Original King – that's what Rido meant!" Aidou interrupted, not even picking up on how risky his move had been.

_The Original King will reign as long as he loves his people, but does he love them enough?_

Kaname turned to him, nodding again. It appeared that Kaname was at loss of words to say, or at least, he was afraid to speak.

_I'm afraid of... You don't know how much… you…_

Takuma blanched, suddenly understanding Kaname's inner turmoil, why he was staring at Aidou like he could break him. _He was afraid_. He'd just confessed a life-long secret, that he'd lied about his identity to them all (Takuma still didn't understand, or believe what Kaname was saying). He was afraid they were going to reject him for deceiving them for so long. Kaname at heart was _fragile_. Takuma knew he depended on them greatly for his emotional support from the harsh world outside where he was nothing more than a Pureblood, a person to be feared and worshipped.

He hurriedly grabbed Kaname's arm again, causing him to jump, his arm muscles tensing under his fingers.

He was _so_ afraid, that they were going to leave him.

The humbling sentiment nearly brought Takuma to tears. They must mean so much to Kaname for him to act like this. Weakness wasn't something Kaname liked to show, even to his closest friends. Right now he looked so vulnerable to their harm, wide open to the abuse he expected from them, the bitter rejection from the only friends he had.

Without hesitation, Takuma drew Kaname into a tight hug and felt a shuddering breath whoosh out of him in startled relief. _Never doubt my friendship, Kaname. Even if you've lied to me, you've always been my best friend._

When he finally pulled back, he pretended not to see the tremble of Kaname's lips, or the wetness of his eyes. Instead, he gave him a compassionate smile and clapped him on the shoulder. Looking at the rest of his friends, Kaname would find them all without any negativity in their faces.

_Look at them, Kaname_, Takuma urged, watching his friend do so and the confidence return to his stance, _Look at us. See how we love you, and nothing has changed._

Kaname sucked in a deep breath, finding himself smiling with utter relief. So far, they still accepted him. Then again, they didn't know much about what he had lied about, or why he had lied at all, they only knew now that he was the _other_ Kaname. Kaname the Ancestor. But still, it was gratifying that they still trusted him, or liked him enough to not start screaming at him (_not chase him away_). He still had many things to explain, and… his eyes drifted to Yuuki, her puzzled face… some would be _very_ hard to describe.

* * *

><p>Zero's mind was spinning, as he clumsily shuffled back into his seat. He'd been left feeling foolish with his hand outstretched, as if he wanted to touch Kaname's face in the moment of clearing, when he'd understood what Kaname had been trying to say. For some reason his ears began to burn under the intense scrutiny of one Souen Ruka. The girl had stiffened when his body had leapt out of his seat, ready at a moment's notice to restrain him from her beloved Pureblood if necessary.<p>

But Zero didn't even care.

He was _**Kaname**_. Isamu's Kaname.

He had been right when he saw the striking resemblance between the memory of Kaname (the _Ancestor_, he was called, apparently) and _this_ Kaname. To think they were one and the same.

The question '_But how?_' hung from his lips, but Kaname cut him to the chase.

"I know it's quite a shock to you, but I am telling the truth, for once," he said softly, raising his head to speak more clearly, "I am the Kaname from years ago, the one you read of in the books who Awakened at the beginning of the Vampires,"

"You can't be!" Aidou – bold as ever, decided to exclaim. "They said that _that_ Kaname was never found. He wandered off during the war to finish Katsuo off. When the war ended, they found Katsuo's crystal remains but no traces of Kaname. They say they never saw him again,"

"That is because he chose never to be seen again," Kaname said, quelling Aidou's other questions with a stern gaze, "Let me _explain_, Aidou.

"There was a great war during the beginning of the age of Vampires, between a vampire named Katsuo and myself," he said, speaking particularly for the benefit of those unfamiliar with the story, "It was very similar to this war, with Katsuo fighting for ownership of the Humans and my forces defending them. The Humans were few in number, and we Vampires outnumbered them greatly, so Katsuo took that as incentive for believing we were entitled to ruling the world and turning the Humans into slaves.

"Nonetheless, we won against him, and I killed him. Aidou, do you know where the final battle between him and me took place?"

Aidou shook his head, frowning, "No. The books never wrote anything further than mentioning that they found Katsuo's crystals,"

"It was not far from here," Kaname said slowly, "Fuyu Pass,"

Fuyu Pass, the dividing line between Kuran and Hanadagi territory, between the Twin Mountains. Fuyu Pass – the property of which Kaname had handed over to the Hanadagi's in a blood scroll.

"I killed him in Fuyu Pass, and then in the Left Mountain, I went into slumber, much like the Hanadagi's are doing now,"

It wasn't lost on Zero how much Kaname's briefing lacked certain _details_, details about his supposed lover Isamu, which really surprised Zero – not that Kaname was not choosing to expose his rather _scandalous_ ancient love-affair to everyone (because he was actually rather grateful for that), but that his face didn't reveal any sort of cover up. Had he forgotten Isamu? If he really _was_ that Kaname, that would mean he'd lived a long time ago (how long? centuries?). Perhaps over time he'd simply forgotten him, or even after his long slumber. Nevertheless, Zero found himself shocked at how easily Kaname had omitted him from his retelling of his life, as if he had never been there. _He might have forgotten, he __**must**__ have forgotten_.

Zero had no idea why he was finding this so upsetting, why he was feeling so defensive of his Ancestor's relationship to _Kaname_. But part of Zero knew why that was. Kaname's love for Isamu… Zero had honestly seen nothing like it. Even over decades apart, he'd always stayed faithful to Isamu, even after mating to another Vampire, he'd always loved him.

To forget a love like that… Zero felt an urge to remind Kaname, to reveal the secrets he kept _still_ from his friends.

And _then_, he realised the very thing he had left out – Kaname was speaking to his friends. To _all_ of them.

Maybe he was afraid of dropping yet another bombshell on them – that he had fallen in love with a _Human_, of all things, and… and that he was _male_. Maybe he was just embarrassed of admitting it to these people who expected him to mate with other Vampires. Again, the anger festered in the depths of his stomach, making Zero glower more than usual, and avoid Kaname's eyes.

In a way, he saw this as a betrayal, to the precious memory of the one he had loved.

Zero hated traitors, a thousand times more than he hated liars. Kaname may have lied about his identity to them all, but the fact that he might be choosing to eliminate Isamu from the details of his past life to save his reputation… even Zero had given up a bit of his pride, his reputation among the Hunters by giving in to his Vampire side and joining them. He had lost many of the top Hunters' faith in him for choosing to embrace Vampire life too, and Zero had no doubt the repercussions would follow on for the rest of his life.

"Katsuo's madness lives on in the Kuran line,"

This gained Zero's attention once more, he even turned slightly towards Kaname. Aidou, like an over-zealous school pupil, gasping in shock. He opened his mouth again to interrupt, but Kain flew over Yuuki and Rima to clasp his hands over his childish cousin's mouth.

Kaname closed his eyes, shaking his head, "In my past life, all those years ago, I had a child. It was necessary to continue my blood line, I felt it was my duty," it sounded like he was trying to convince himself-

_still trying to convince himself that it was all for the sake of having children, he'd only ever loved Isamu_

-or someone else, specifically, his eyes opened facing Zero, "Katsuo also had children, and somehow our children managed to mix. With the world settling and rebuilding quickly after that war, Vampires all over the world were drawn together, and with the Humans and the Hunters too, there was a truce as everyone began to repair the mess the war had made and make the world safe again. In that time, perhaps our children fell in love, I cannot be sure, but I know that they had children, and this continued.

"As the numbers of Purebloods – the Ancestors of the day – began to diminish, with many of them reproducing with Humans and diluting the blood, the Purebloods began to practise mating within their own circles. Eventually even this was too risky, because rivalries began to appear out of nowhere between the Pureblood clans – competition to be the strongest and most powerful. Rivalries stopped clans from trusting each other – could you trust another clan to be as Pure as your own? No. If they _had_ dabbled in Humans, they obviously wouldn't say, wanting to keep their blood as 'Pure' as can be.

"Our family began the tradition of mating within itself to preserve our blood's power. I fear this may have generated the capacity for madness. It's well-known that by limiting variation in your genes, you make yourself the target of many terrible diseases and difficulties in the mind.

"I believe that this incurred the madness in Rido. I'm not sure how he came to be so knowledgeable about our past, but his fascination in Pureblood-domination, and his fanatical obsession in damning the Humans is eerily reminiscent of Katsuo. I look at Rido and I see _him_.

"He found out about me, how I had disappeared from the face of the world, and – you can imagine with Rido and his obsessive nature, he began to hunt for me. And he found me, in the mountain-"

"_**No**_, Kaname, he didn't…" Takuma interrupted this time, and Zero saw his face was incredibly pale.

"He Woke me," Kaname said softly, shutting his eyes again, unable to face their horrified stares, or perhaps to block out the memories, "He stole the child Kuran Kaname from his parents, Haruka and Juri, inspired by the fact we shared the same name, and brought him to me as a sacrifice. In my starved state, I instinctively attacked Rido instead and drank his blood. He managed to stop me before I killed him and gave me the child,"

Kaname was now staring at Yuuki, sister of Kuran Kaname, watching for her reactions.

"I ate the child, and Awoke. Rido thought he could then drink my blood – that is his goal, I think. He wants the blood of an Ancestor in his veins – my blood is the Purest of its kind, I am the last of the Ancestors. But he didn't anticipate that from the child's sacrifice I would quite literally take his life – I became the baby, the child you all came to know as Kuran Kaname.

"I was raised in his place by Haruka and Juri, but I always knew who I was, and I've always remembered Rido – _Yuuki_, I am so sorry – _please_," he strode to her side, too afraid to hold her in case she threw him aside. That would break him, he knew, he shuddered, "I never meant to kill your brother. I was just so _hungry_, and I didn't even know-"

"Kaname, are you saying that the reason Rido Woke you is that he wants your blood?" Takuma cut in bravely, stopping his friend from getting lost in guilt again. This wasn't the time for it.

"Yes. He wants to use my Ancestor blood to become more powerful, apparently I'm not using my powers for the correct purposes,"

"And Kiryuu?" Aidou piped up, having shoved Kain away, "What's his deal in all of this? Rido's been obsessed about him too – he showed him something with the Rose Shield…"

"Zero shares an uncanny resemblance to someone from that past," Kaname said stoically, not even glancing in Zero's direction. At once Takuma and Zero both stiffened, sensing Kaname's behaviour as being strange – he was _hiding something_ again, "The person he bears a resemblance to _began_ the Vampire Hunters, who as you know were created from Humans eating an Ancestor's flesh. Rido thinks he owes a debt to the Purebloods for this reason – he believes that the creation of the Hunters gave Humans a chance to survive against _us_.

"In a way he is correct. The Humans readily accepted the Hunters as their defenders, despite knowing what they had done to gain their powers. As the Hunters and Humans established an alliance, the numbers of Vampires began to diminish. We have swapped places over time – the Humans who were once almost extinct have become the main species, whilst us Vampires, particularly the Purebloods, are now almost extinct. He blames this all on that First Hunter, and sees his legacy passed on in Zero.

"The fact is this: I cannot kill Rido. He Woke me, and because of that, he is my Master. I owe my life to him. It's impossible for me to kill him, though I have tried before. Like Nori who Woke by him, my blood, my powers are almost useless against him. You need to be prepared for the duty to fall to you, during this war, to try to kill him. At any given opportunity, when you think you could do it, you _must_ take that chance. I cannot fight against him and win, you can't rely on me to do it because it's simply not possible,"

They were all speechless – being tasked with the duty to _kill a __**Pureblood**_. Even if Rido was evil, the same laws applied to him – that killing a Pureblood was punishable by death sentence. Whoever managed to kill Rido in this war would by Vampire law be executed after.

Kaname was asking them, or at least, _one_ of them to give up their lives to kill Rido.

"My friends, I dared not tell you sooner, because this mission requires the greatest personal sacrifice. There is no other way, and I cannot apologise enough for it. There are no other people I trust more, I respect more than you, and it kills me to give this responsibility to you, but…"

"There is no other way," Kain said tonelessly.

Kaname nodded solemnly, though his head remained bowed in shame. They had never seen him so weak and humiliated like this. For almost all of their lives, knowing Kaname, even as his friends they also appreciated the protection he offered as the Pureblood. But knowing now how powerless he was against Rido… it was _terrifying_.

Suddenly all the security Kaname's Pureblood status had offered was gone.

They felt exposed and bare to the harsh reality that _one of them has to die to end __**this**_.

The sad thing, which made them all feel just as shamed as Kaname, was that in a way – from Kaname's protection, they had **expected** it would be Kaname to finish Rido. They had been relying on the idea that it would be Kaname who would face him, that _Kaname_ might be the one to die to save them all. And they had been fine with _**that**_ scenario.

But now that the responsibility had fallen onto them, they felt the buckling weight of pressure and were speechless because of it.

The irony of it stung.

They had been fine with the idea of watching Kaname die for them, because they saw that as part of his obligation. The protection of a Pureblood was almost the trade-off for a lifetime of protection, after all.

But now, he was torturing himself over the idea that one of them would die in his place?

Ridiculous.

Again, Takuma decided to save the day, and he began to usher everyone out of the room. Kaname slumped into a seat beside Zero, his head falling into his hands. How long had he been sheltering his burden? The weight of this damning task must've been so painful to carry around with him in secret, with no one to confide in. Zero suddenly felt a wave of compassion flood into his veins, sympathy filling his mouth that he opened to comfort Kaname.

"It's been a long day. You should go to bed, Zero,"

Kaname had spoken, his voice low and stilted, muffled in his hands.

Zero's mouth snapped shut.

"Get something to drink too," Kaname said, looking at him meaningfully, "You look rather thirsty,"

Even though the comment made him flinch, for once, he obeyed the Pureblood without complaint, standing and leaving the parlour, leaving Kaname with Takuma, to wallow in his grief.

* * *

><p>"I would gladly die, a thousand times over, for you,"<p>

Takuma sighed as Kaname said this, dropping onto Zero's vacated seat. Automatically he wrapped his arms around Kaname's shaking shoulders, dropping his head onto his dear friend's shoulder.

"It isn't always up to you to bear all the weight of a responsibility like this. That is why you have friends, Kaname. You're meant to ask for help sometimes,"

"This isn't _help_, Takuma. I'm asking one of you to give your life for a fight which should be _mine_. It should be **me-**"

"Oh hush. Your ego is getting to you again, Kaname," Takuma said with a dry grin, trying to lighten the mood again. He winced seeing Kaname's reproachful glare focusing on him, and tightened his arms around him, hoping Kaname for once would _listen_ and understand what he was saying.

"Kaname, this duty was never yours, it was always _**ours**_. We want Rido gone just as much as you, because we believe in _you_. Don't think that you're so expendable. Any of us would be willing to give our lives for you, just like you would for us, never underestimate that,"

"_Takuma…_" Kaname groaned, letting his head fall back into Takuma's comforting side, "It's not _fair_, it shouldn't-"

But Takuma shushed him, combing through his hair soothingly. "You can always try to vouch for one of us in court when it's done. Throw your weight around a bit, Kaname. Do your Pureblood thing," he joked, feeling Kaname grunt in fake amusement.

He sighed, throwing his head back to gaze up at the ceiling. Battling with Kaname's stubborn guilt was near to impossible to win. At the end of it, Takuma was sure Kaname was a masochist, since he would beat himself up about the strangest of things. Admittedly, this time the fault did rest on him quite a bit. Takuma only wished Kaname would have for once, given up his secretive nature, and told them about this a long time ago – not before a _war_. It was difficult to adjust to something like this, Kaname really had no **tact**.

Then again, it would really take something like _this_ to push anybody to admit something like this to their friends.

But holding Kaname like this…everything felt the same. If he had not been told of Kaname's true identity, Takuma wouldn't have known the person he was holding was any different. And in a way, he _wasn't _any different. All the difference was in his name, the fact that he was Kaname the Ancestor, not Kuran Kaname the heir. He was still the King (in fact he was known in the books as The Original King), he was still his friend, he was still _Kaname_.

After a few moments, Kaname pushed against Takuma, sitting up and then rising to go to the door. He motioned to Takuma to follow him, which he did as always, falling into step beside his friend.

"We have no time to dwell over this. It's done," Kaname said, shutting the parlour door behind him. They set off at a brisk pace down the corridor, Takuma struggling to keep up with his friend's agitated pace, "We must deal with things _now_, before things get even more out of hand. You must fill me in with what has been happening with Shiki. I haven't seen him. We really must sort things out with him first,"

"Nothing much has happened. I've been researching and found nothing – your Pure blood should have worked, but it completely failed. Shiki has limited himself to his room, because he doesn't want to cause trouble for any of us anymore,"

Kaname grunted in approval, which suddenly triggered the memory in Takuma's mind to the night he had found Shiki shaking in Yuuki's room. He realised Kaname didn't know about it – that Shiki had let Yuuki be kidnapped without raising a finger to stop it, even though he was _there_ and available to help her. As far as he could see though, Yuuki had returned perfectly fine. Was it really necessary to tell Kaname something which would make him even less trusting of Shiki than he already was? For the first time in a _long_ time, Kaname had found Shiki's self-imprisonment respectable – Takuma could see he approved of his actions.

That respect would be lost when Kaname learnt about that night and how Yuuki had not been saved when she could have. He knew that Kaname would snap and probably punish Shiki _really_ badly.

Takuma couldn't allow that to happen.

"That's very noble of him to do that,"

"Yes, it is," he said too-quickly, forcing himself to smile at Kaname's curious look. But Kaname didn't push him much for it. Perhaps he was too tired to think of why Takuma was acting strange.

"We should see him. I want to examine his scar. You say it's the source of Rido's power…"

Nodding eagerly, Takuma adjusted the bag on his shoulder, pulling out his notebook to drill Kaname with all the research he had found. His friend nodded along to his explanations and suggestions, though Takuma felt like he was telling him things he already knew. Kaname didn't seem surprised at the information at all. It was very possible that he knew it all already.

Their conversation changed, becoming more light-hearted and hopeful when Kaname offered to give some more of his blood to Takuma to experiment with. Maybe it would be better if Shiki swallowed it rather than have it injected in him? They then began to laugh together when the topic of conversation randomly fell on Aidou and his eavesdropping habits. What punishment should he _and Kain_ be given this time? He was running out of ideas! Takuma found himself relaxing in the cheerful sound of Kaname's laugh. He did not laugh enough. Thankfully he was cheering up, stopping himself from falling into the pit of despair, where before his toes had clung to the very edge (figuratively of course).

They approached Shiki's door, the conversation slowing to a halt when Takuma knocked on the door, a cheery smile still on his face. He leaned his head close to the thick wood of the door, calling out playfully,

"Senriii! Kaname and I are here, we're coming in-!"

Opening the door, his smile froze.

The room was empty.

He heard the ominous sound of Kaname's footsteps following him inside.

"Takuma? I thought you said he was here,"

"He was-"

"Then where is he?" the panicked tone in Kaname's voice betrayed his previous cheerful mood. He had been so relieved to hear one of his worries was taken care of – Shiki had decided to lock himself out of trouble. But now that Shiki was nowhere in sight, Kaname felt the worry from before multiply.

"Maybe he went out to get some food-" Takuma began, desperately trying to get the situation under control. Kaname's sanity was slipping from this rollercoaster of disaster he was riding, and Takuma couldn't _believe_ this could be what tipped him over the edge.

"You said he was in his room. You said he was keeping himself in here,"

He was _missing_. Shiki was missing…

Suddenly the thought sprung to Kaname's mind – _Takuma_ had said this. Takuma was biased. Kaname wasn't blind, he knew how much Shiki had Takuma practically tied around his little finger. Could it be that Takuma was so trusting of Shiki that he believed him when he said he would stay in his room? He didn't place any guards or servants around his quarters to make sure he wouldn't escape? Takuma, you naïve _fool_!

"Come, we must find him," he snapped, whisking them out of the room and into the corridors once more. "Go tell the servants. We must find him at _once_,"

"Kaname-"

He was ignored, and Kaname began to run down the corridors in the opposite direction.

"Kaname, _listen to me!_"

The furious Pureblood skidded to a stop, not even turning to face Takuma. He had no time for his friend's chatter, even if it was on behalf of Shiki. He couldn't forgive either one of them if Shiki had caused some _disaster_ when he was left _loose in the castle_.

"If Shiki is under Rido's control, Kaname, there is only one place we should really look,"

_Rido._

_Rido was targeting-_

* * *

><p>He placed a couple of the frozen blood bags into the fridge to melt into liquid at the higher temperature, and pulled out one of the other already liquid bags and closed and locked the freezer and fridge door. Then Zero tucked the little key back into his pocket, thinking to himself that he should attach it to the fridge key on the cord around his neck. He took the bag to his room, uneasy at the thought that that annoying doctor might be lurking around, and would be giving him a dirty look for drinking <em>Kuran-sama's precious blood<em>.

Tch. Zero popped the bag with one fang, chewing the plastic as he sucked on the rich fluid. The sickly, cold feeling of the icy liquid slipping down his throat almost made him choke. In the chilled state, the blood tended to clump together in little solid pieces of blood. He could chew on them, like the tapioca pearls in bubble tea if he wanted. Absolutely disgusting. It was like drinking undiluted cordial after it had been left to settle.

Amazing how a simple change in temperature could change one of the most luxurious, delicious bloods in the world to taste like _shit_.

Zero forced himself to suck the entire portion down, chucking the bag carelessly into the bin. He'd forgotten that it was best to chuck the remains in the incinerator in the Infirmary, but was far too tired to be bothered to go all the way back _now_.

He kicked off his shoes and crawled under the thick covers of his bed. The maids for once hadn't managed to redo his sheets, so the crumpled, disfigured lumpy mess of quilt on his bed took the place of where clean, smooth sheets should be. Zero could forgive the maids quite easily. _He _certainly wouldn't like having the duty of changing all the ridiculously massive beds in this castle, the job must be extremely tiring and time-consuming.

Anyhow, this way he didn't have to wrestle the sheets away from being tucked under his mattress before collapsing on his bed. He was pretty sure he didn't have the energy to manage something like that, even with the power of Kaname's blood now teeming through his body. Zero shuddered when the cold liquid in his stomach tipped to the side, a swirling icy tempest inside his own stomach. It was hard to concentrate on going to sleep, with his mind in the same chaotic maelstrom as his innards.

Brain overload – Zero needed time to mull things over. He desperately needed to sleep on this all.

He shut his eyes.

And then he felt the bed move.


	56. The Red Eye Feasts

**Author's note:**

**Lol guys. Your reactions are so darn funny! **

**Now, some of you mentioned you think Zero's gonna be raped. **

**Funny story, right. I actually got inspired for this scene by an old history lesson we had as YOUNG CHILDREN, where the teacher thought it would be funny to scare us half to death. She told us that apparently Queen Elizabeth (Tudor) the 1****st**** of England, due to her many suitors, often had problems with security regarding her personal chambers. One night she went to bed and found one hiding in her bed, and he well… he…**

**O.O**

**We all cried. TT_TT (still does)**

**And I got many nightmares. (still do)**

**And now I check my bed every night before going to sleep, even though there are no suitors… I will always be cautious!**

**Isn't that teacher nasty? She totally laughed at our faces. Maybe she was only telling a fib…**

**WARNING: **

**this chappie is happy-gory. Enjoy to gore-fans. Warning to gore-haters. **

* * *

><p>The mattress dipped, under someone else's shifting weight.<p>

It was only then that Zero caught onto the fact that he wasn't as alone as he thought he was.

In a second he rolled back towards the edge of the mattress, gasping as a cold hand shot out and caught him, right on his mottled wrist, pain shooting up his arm from the firm grip right on his bruise. The hand was so numbing cold that Zero couldn't tell how hard it was squeezing, until it yanked him backwards onto his back, and he heard a sickening _snap!_

Now the pain flared, screaming from the bone, he opened his mouth to yell. But the eyes above him transfixed him in a dizzying stare. Red and blue.

Rido's eyes.

* * *

><p>Really, the ancient, rickety ladder shook in the most terrifying way. Not from Aidou's weight, but from his tendency to go off-balance when he reached for out-of-the-way books instead of doing the <em>logical<em> thing and moving the ladder along its rail. Kain huffed, getting up from his seat when he saw, from Ruka's deliberate ignorance, that she wasn't going to help their ridiculous friend. He took hold of the ladder and smoothly tugged it to the left, hearing Aidou's appreciative "_Aah!"_ two metres above him. Truthfully, Kain had an urge to climb up the ladder and bring the klutz down before he killed himself.

But he was still mad at Aidou for landing them with another punishment, so he decided to stay on the ground and watch the mischief-maker suffer from his great height, even though he knew Aidou wasn't scared in the slightest.

He shot an imploring look at Ruka, but she was steadfastly ignoring them both and picking at her nails. When the trio had finally been reunited (in an Aidou sandwich), she had then promptly smacked them both silly, _despite_ their wounds, and refused to speak to either one of them more than necessary. Ruka was in one of her moods, when she didn't want to appear too attached to her friends – she hated being the clingy girl among a group of male friends. As well as this, she had a grudge against them for their foolishness in getting kidnapped, she hated that they had made her worry so much – she pointed at the non-existent white hairs in her head for her trouble.

Both Aidou and Kain found it endearing in a sense, but the guilt-trip still wasn't fun to take.

"Oi," Kain nudged her, "He's _your_ cousin too, you know. We'll definitely both be killed by Aidou-chichi if the idiot falls and cracks his head open,"

"Don't worry, there's nothing to spill out," she drawled, causing Kain to snigger and Aidou to shriek indignantly at the secret joke he had missed hearing from his great height.

Kain always loved using the 'he's _your_ cousin too' bit to bug Ruka senseless, to push the whole thing a little bit too far, to _provoke_ things amass-

And so he got slapped for it, in the face.

Ruka rarely mentioned her relation to Aidou or Kain. Apparently it pained her to admit she shared roots with the fools she called her friends.

Aidou quickly stored the last of his books into the provided bag and hooked the handles over his arms like a backwards backpack, hugging the precious tomes to his chest as he loosened his hold on the side rails and let himself slide down to the ground, his still ice-encased feet leaving trails of cold water on the wood.

"What did you _say_?" he huffed, marching over to the '_busy' _Ruka, cheeks puffed up in a pout. She didn't answer, so he levelled Kain with a warning glare which he ignored too. Deflating his cheeks, Aidou slammed the books down on the table to create an impact.

Kain tipped them out of the bag and began rifling through them, his face turning more perplexed by each book he lifted out. Even Ruka had joined in rooting through Aidou's finds and shot him a withering glare.

"If you're going to drag us into the library for some _light reading_, Hana, you'd better tell us what we're bloody _doing_ instead of wasting your time pouting. Man up, you baby,"

"_Hey!_ Ruka-" Aidou blanched as his defence, the peacemaker known as Kain, also glowered at him in his confusion. Kain didn't like being confused at all. "I was just wondering about what Kaname had said. _Who knew?_ God, I didn't expect that! I mean Kaname is _the_ Kaname-!"

"Get to the freaking point," Kain slammed his hand on the table.

"I was thinking back to that one lesson we had about the Kuran history. Kaname was talking about how it's like Katsuo lives through Rido, really. It makes me want to look through the books again. We must know everything about Katsuo if we're going to figure Rido out, aren't we?"

"Sort of makes sense," Ruka shrugged.

"I remember the texts saying that Katsuo had a mate – obviously, to have his children. They only referred to her as _Lady_, if I remember correctly," Aidou said, flipping through the books rapidly. They watched the boy wonder skim-reading passages in seconds, finishing with one book and starting on the next in moments, "But then I _just _remembered reading about _Lady_ somewhere else… those Hunter tomes… I wonder if it's the same-"

"Hang on," Kain cut in, grabbing Aidou's hand, "Did you say, _Hunter_ tomes?" he fixed Aidou with a stern stare, "What stuff have you been reading, Hana?"

As always, Aidou flushed when he realised his excited mindless babbling had revealed something he shouldn't have, _again_. He tried to shake off Kain, mumbling that he'd said nothing, and attempting to return to his reading.

But both Kain and Ruka would _definitely_ not let his slip go by un-interrogated.

"Kaname-sama told me to. It's for a job he gave me, and it's strictly private," he said tightly, regretting his motor-mouth for having no connection to his brain. Though, he pondered with faint incredulity, Kain had _helped_ him on the very thing he was trying to keep secret, and he didn't even know he had.

"_Hunter_ tomes, Hana? It's no big guess who your mission is for, or who it involves," Kain raised his eyebrow, shaking Aidou gently (they were still sore from the torture cages). "What are you doing with Kiryuu?"

"Nothing! Look, it doesn't concern you-"

"Answer us, Hana. You know we can be trusted," Ruka said, her voice steely.

"_No_," Aidou snapped, all the joking humour gone from his tone, "Look. Kaname-sama has _trusted _me with this job, and he explicitly told me _not_ to tell anyone what it entails. _I'm not telling you_," he looked from one face to the other, seeing their frustrated expressions dripping with reluctant respect to his wishes. Loyalty to Kaname was always paramount amongst the so-called '_Aidou faction'_.

He slammed the book shut and tugged another one towards himself.

"Anyway, as I was saying, it was something mentioned in the Hunter tomes I've been reading," he paused to bat Kain's hand away, "About the Lady – she was apparently the Ancestor they write about, who created the Hunters out of her own flesh,"

"Katsuo's _mate_?" Ruka exclaimed. He nodded.

"Conflicting views, eh? They stuck together, as in love as two mates can be, but they had wildly opposing views. She _willingly_ gave her life to the Hunters, feeding them her blood and tearing out her heart to make their weapons,"

He watched his cousins' expressions morph into revulsion, Kain mouthing the words '_tore out her heart'_ to Ruka with a curled lip of disgust.

"Anyway, there's something odd about the weapons she made,"

"There _would_ be something odd about them – they're made out of _**heart**_,"

"It was something written in that old Hunter tome… aw, I really need access to it again. Or at least if Kaname-sama can convince them-"

Suddenly they heard the sound of a whoosh of wind, like high screaming at the great speed, due to the Doppler effect throwing the sound waves at them. The gust of wind poured into the room, blowing all Aidou's referenced pages apart, which he tried to save. They saw a flash of brown and yellow, and then the wind pitch lowered, and they heard the faint sound of footsteps running further down the corridor.

Kain rushed to the door, poking his head through and peering to the left. What- or more correctly, _who_ had been running so fast? He could still feel the receding breeze carried by the current they had made.

"Kaname-sama?" Aidou popped his head out too, just below Kain's right shoulder.

He frowned, sniffing the current. It was pushing some scent down the corridor, so he couldn't quite catch it. He edged out of the door cautiously, head spinning left and right, as if he was crossing a road with traffic. Kain followed the corridor to the left a little further down, sniffing as the smell grew stronger. The vacuum of the pushed air pulled the current of air back towards him, and his eyes flashed red instantly. He doubled back to the library, yanking Aidou and catching Ruka by her wrist. The smell was blood. Why was it always blood? And it was strong, it came in pulses, fresh warm motes in the air – someone was bleeding, and whatever wound it was they had was getting worse. Kain almost gagged, smelling the acrid scent of vomit coupled with the pungent blood.

* * *

><p>Having thrown himself backwards, off the bed, and landing on the floor on his already broken wrist, Zero was both exhausted and in agony. He dragged himself backwards with one hand, his eyes still fixed on those odd eyes glowing in the dark. Zero already knew who it was in reality, whose body the monster had inhabited, but those eyes cancelled out any sympathy he had for Shiki at the moment. They were almost sparking with sadistic amusement when he accidentally leaned on his bad wrist, the pain flushing in his face. Zero knew he had no weapons, nothing at all he could improvise with at the moment, and if he took his eyes off Shiki – no, <em>Rido<em> – even for a second, who knew what could happen?

Rido widened his son's mouth into a shark-like grin, his fangs were fully elongated and looked menacing, digging grooves into Shiki's plump lips. He licked his lips teasingly, crawling forwards to the edge of the mattress, where he sneered down at Zero's pathetic backwards crawl.

From Rido's vantage point, he could see Zero had almost nowhere he could go. Unfortunately for him, he had chosen in his mad panic to fall off the bed on the side _away_ from the door, which meant he was trapped. Zero suddenly flitted his eyes to his escape route.

At this moment, Rido pounced.

He landed right on top of Zero, slamming him flat on the ground by flattening his legs over him, and grasping him by his shoulders. Zero cried out as Rido dug his fingers into his shoulders so deep, he could almost imagine claws piercing his skin. He clawed at Rido too, trying to get a grip on his shoulders to push him away, but his arms were trapped in movement as Rido widened his stance, sliding his fingers down to hold his biceps to the floor.

Swinging down with the movement, Rido's dropped down, so his face hovered right above Zero's.

It was bizarre, looking up into so much of Shiki's face and seeing only _**Rido**_. The sneer, the eyes – this no longer looked like Shiki. Still, Zero clung to the hope that he could hear him.

"Sh- Shiki, please!"

"Oh Hunter," Rido purred, leaning down so their noses brushed, "My Hunter. Have you enjoyed your meal again? Your belly is full, ne? He _is_ very delicious,"

"Sh-"

Rido darted forwards, and Zero wanted to scream as he tracked his tongue across his lips, picking up the smear of blood remaining on Zero's lips groaning at the taste.

"Mm, his blood is divine, isn't it? So rich, and warmed on the lips of a _sweet_ Hunter,"

Zero spat at Rido, seeing the glob of saliva reach his chin, but he didn't even flinch, and merely smirked at him.

"I've so _longed_ to eat him. Even from that little sample, I can tell he'll be the best meal of my life,"

The fact that Rido was so close to him was off-putting, but now that he was already on top of him and he had caught him, Zero strained his head to look around him for anything that could be used as a weapon. His arms were pressed flat to the ground, and he could only jerk his right hand, his left throbbed excruciatingly and he could feel it begin to swell. There was nothing by his right hand.

Then Rido swung down again, pressing his nose to Zero's throat. He could feel his icy breath against his skin and couldn't help but shudder as the Rido sniffed him, almost nuzzling him.

"Ah, I can smell it. The blood, it's trickling down your throat still. So thick and luscious. Let me have a taste, can I?" he said in a mock-hopeful voice. There was a terrible minute when Zero could feel Rido rest the tips of his fangs on his throat, pinpricks of numbing Vampire venom seeped into his skin.

Immediately he was sent back to that night, in his family home, where he had been flat on his back much like this. The teasing pinprick of Vampire venom numbed his small neck. _Wriggling, writhing, still she wouldn't release him. No sound in the house apart from him. The harsh moonlight catching her rose-pink eyes. His own screams as her fangs plunged __**deep**_-

"**No!**" he yelled, bucking against Rido. The movement pushed Rido's fangs out of him, and for a moment he looked taken aback.

"No?" Rido echoed – a moment where his blue eye looked sad, his red eye looked furious – "How greedy. How selfish you are," he licked down from Zero's neck, ending at the collar of his shirt. Zero renewed his efforts to buck Rido off when he began to unbutton his shirt.

Then he stopped and laughed, Zero growled, throwing all his weight against Rido's arms.

Where he had thought Rido had amazing strength, he suddenly remembered that this was _Shiki's_ body he was using. He managed to get up a couple of inches, and shimmied backwards, rolling under Rido onto his stomach. Zero threw his right arm forwards, gripping the carpet with his fingertips and dragging himself out from under Rido, but then his hips were seized and he was thrown back onto his back. For a few moments he was like a turtle on his back, unable to move.

The force of it knocked all the air out of him, and Zero felt dazed for the few seconds where Rido grasped his thighs and pulled him back under his body, so his face was just above Zero's waist. As his face neared Zero's stomach, he realised he could move again.

With his arms free, Zero managed to land a punch on Rido, but it made no impact, and his arm was caught and twisted to the side. His other broken wrist lay on his chest, where he could feel his heart beat wildly below it.

Now his legs were loose too, so planted his feet on the floor, arching his back which lifted his hips off the floor by an inch or so. Rido was straddling him though, and his weight pushed Zero's hips down.

Never had Zero longed more for his gun, the faithful Bloody Rose, in his hand. Here he had nothing. In the hurry, long before, in packing for the Coronation, he had left her behind. Zero cursed silently, grappling at the floor to push up again. His efforts were futile, when Rido slipped down his body, sitting on his thighs and grinning upwards at him, from his stomach.

"Here's where it is,"

Zero smelt blood above him and glanced up, away from Rido's looming face, to his hands. A thin blood cord was tied around his wrist, and he felt it coil around his broken wrist on his chest too. Zero groaned painfully when his limp wrist was lifted, the bones rubbing again as it flopped pitifully in the blood whip's hold, pulled taut with his other wrist. The blood whip thickened till it was a mass of blood, solid like cuff-links, secured to the ground in a blood puddle.

He started, feeling the hard point of Rido's nose press against his stomach again.

_Here's where it is_.

It made sense to him now. Here's where the blood is. His stomach.

_**He's going to kill you**_.

Zero's mouth popped in an 'O' as Rido used his now-free hands to rip open his shirt, exposing the soft skin of his belly. From his view, he could see down the flat of his chest, to his abdomen which rose and fell rapidly with each of his quickening breaths. Patches of the skin were bruised too, in different stages of healing. Rido sniffed these curiously, and then peered up at Zero through his lashes, in a perverse seductive fashion.

"Why didn't I think of this first, Hunter? Why, it takes care of two things – two birds with one stone, as they say. I can't eat it from him yet, but I can eat it from _you_,"

Rido tightened the blood whip when Zero tried to pull away, desperately bending his elbows and trying to pull himself towards his restraints. He hated the sick feeling of Rido's tongue on his stomach, the puffs of hot air on his skin when Rido laughed through his nose.

"If you kill me, you kill Kaname!"

The words poured out of his mouth before he even knew he'd said them. Rido lifted his head with a pure smile.

"Of course, you're Bonded. Congratulations. But you know, it doesn't work that fast. He'll still be my meal for later. You're just the appetiser,"

And then he placed his curled hand over Zero's stomach, and began to dig his fingers in. The places where his fingertips dug into bruises burned in pools of fire under his skin. Zero yelled, feeling Rido dig deeper with Shiki's fingers, his scratchy stubby nails scraping his skin. Tingles of cold pain shot up his spine as Rido dragged his hand across his stomach, red trails of blood leaking out of his skin, in the wake.

He shrieked as Rido then used his other hands to scratch him the other way. The actions repeated, again and again, with the right hand and the left, back and forth. He felt dizzy, smelling his own blood flooding the air, and seeing Rido's wicked grin above him. The sick bastard also kept licking his stomach clean when the blood pooled in the hollow of his abdomen. It was pure torture – and he could do nothing to stop him ripping his stomach to shreds.

Zero screamed, long and loud, desperation shoving his pride aside as he screamed for help. He was truly weak at the moment, and the dizziness in his head was overwhelming. He still strained his head to watch Rido ripping him open with his fingers. He was on fire. Erupting in excruciating flames. Why didn't he just Bite him and drain him? Was this excessive torture just to appease Rido's sadistic appetite?

It dawned on Zero, that Rido wasn't going to suck the blood out of him, he was aiming to _rip through_ to his stomach.

The thought of it made him suddenly heave, retching as the nausea filtered through his mind. _He's going to rip me open_. Zero turned his head to the side and convulsed, hot vomit spluttering out of his mouth. He gasped and gagged, spilling it sideways, with hot trails of tears following on his cheeks. The disgusting stench dribbled down his face as it pooled around his head.

Rido snorted, finally his hands had ripped through the skin, and he pulled the tattered skin aside so the raw underneath was exposed. On top of the astonishing amount of blood he had lost, Zero could still smell Kaname's blood underneath. His hot core temperatures had warmed the cold blood finally till its deep scent seeped into the air, free from the confines of his skin.

At that moment, he felt himself slipping from consciousness, the spots of black in his vision (he hadn't even noticed appearing) clouded together, till all he could see was Rido's glowing red eye falling down to his exposed insides.

"My love…"

* * *

><p>When the first droplets of Zero's blood hit the air, Kaname began running faster than he'd ever done in his life, dragging Takuma behind him till his feet were barely brushing the floor. Then the screams began, and Kaname's control exploded at the sound. Instantly he found his speed soar, till he had to skid to a halt outside Zero's door. He blew the door open with his mind, howling at the nauseating sight of Shiki about to feed from Zero's prone body.<p> 


	57. The Blue Eye Weeps

**Author's note: **

**Hey guys, I've got the ****perfect**** song for you all to listen to whilst reading this story:**

**Artist : **_**Lenka**_

**Title : **_**Like a Song**_

**It's absolutely _perfect _for this story, I'm telling you. I even might remember... yeah, I _think_ this song actually inspired a good portion of this story. So listen to it!**

* * *

><p><em>He's going to <em>_**kill him**__. He wants Zero dead so he'll __**kill him**__. He'll__** kill him**__._

The sawdust from the blown door hung in the air, making the scene grainy, like a black-and-white movie, with only the redness of Rido's eye shining in the dark. The beautiful stench of Zero's blood made Kaname's eyes shine red too, and his fangs shot out of his gums in seconds. Takuma had reeled back at the sight of Shiki like this, and was pinching his nose desperately shut, but his eyes… he couldn't look away.

He could see Rido's hand was already touching the opening of Zero's exposed innards, drenched in blood, he was reaching up into the abdominal cavity.

His head was raised to Kaname though, and a repulsive sneer stretched his lips.

"You took mine, so now I'll take yours,"

The voice sent chills down his spine. It was a smooth, dark voice, reminiscent of someone else. _Katsuo…_

Kaname roared, practically flying across the room to them, grasping Rido around the neck and squeezing. He was about to tear Rido's head off, arms ready to yank him backwards, when Takuma suddenly appeared at their side and took hold of Kaname's arm.

"It's Shiki! You can't-"

"_He's __**killing him**_, _Takuma!"_ Kaname snarled, sending Takuma backwards with one push of his mind. But the Noble scrambled back to his feet quickly, again lunging for Kaname's arms.

"Look! If you pull him back, he'll tear Zero out! He's still holding onto something, _Kaname!_" he yelped, peering down at those hands – _Shiki's hands_ – stretched and diving deeper into Zero's body-

Kaname also could see how deeply Rido was reaching into him, though he didn't know what he was aiming for – he presumed it was his heart. If he pulled Rido back, he could do more damage to Zero's insides by being so rough. The sheer savageness of everything he was seeing tested his control, since he was sorely tempted to rip off Rido's head. But some rationality came back to Kaname, and he could sense Takuma's distraught gaze on him, hovering by his side but obediently staying back.

His eyes flitted over to Zero's face, which he couldn't see well as it was tipped to the side, facing a pool of bloody vomit. His arms were held above his head, tightly in a writhing blood whip, and one hand looked oddly bent. Rido was blindly pawing at a pale pink, fleshy organ, with his blunt fingers. The organ was torn in some places, and a thick, viscous dark red fluid was oozing out of the wounds.

It suddenly hit Kaname what Rido was trying to do. He was shredding Zero's stomach to get his blood. The… the blood Zero had drunk. This was exactly how Rido had figured out who Zero was during the Coronation. It was like things had come full circle again.

Kaname tightened his hold on Rido's neck, pulling him firm against his body and curling his arm tighter around him. Even as Takuma screamed at him, saying he was killing Shiki too, Kaname didn't loosen his grip one bit. He squeezed tighter, and _tighter, _feeling the raging pulse in Shiki's neck beating against him, but he only smothered it, pulling him so hard he could hear the bastard choke.

And then he heard a shaky laugh, splattering out of Rido's mouth in a garbled mess.

"Do… do you remember…?"

"Remember _what?_" he snapped, feeling chords of the blood whip weakly lash onto his wrists, and the creaking of Shiki's voice box under his thumb knuckles.

"This is… the way you killed me… last time…"

Last time? The last time he _tried_ to kill Rido, he'd only managed to obliterate his body, and that had been with his powers – just after Rido had killed Haruka and Juri, he lost control of his powers, in his anger and his desire for revenge. It all spilled out of him, targeting Rido and literally shattering him in tiny pieces.

What 'last time' was Rido referring to then? He'd never strangled him (or anyone) to death before. He shook his captive threateningly, opening his mouth to demand what he meant, when it suddenly all made sense to him.

This wasn't Shiki in his arms anymore.

This wasn't even Rido he was holding.

This was _**Katsuo**_.

He didn't remember the fight he'd had with Katsuo at all. Had he _strangled _him to death? Such a low way to be killed?

"…_pitiful_…" Katsuo panted. Pitiful that he had been killed in a Human way – strangled to death, before Kaname had dealt the final devastating blow, annihilating his body into thousands of shards of crystal. "…you told me…I would pay. But you…were wrong…"

Kaname rattled Katsuo's throat, frothing at the mouth in mad fury, "_What do you mean?"_

"…**you'll** pay… she _lives_, Kaname," Katsuo's mismatching eyes shone up at Kaname. And all of a sudden, time stood still as Kaname gazed down at his **blue** **eye**. Though it wasn't the same colour as hers, her eyes had been naturally red – the blue eye looked at him like _she_ had.

"_Lady…"_ he gasped, watching as a tear dribbled out of the blue eye. Katsuo blinked and gave a strangled gasp for air.

"… she loves me… she always will, and she'll never… ever hurt me…"

Kaname growled, shaking him by the throat again, and continuing to squeeze. His eyes were fixed on the blue eye, watching it cry, whilst the red eye simply laughed at him. Katsuo's mouth was agape, and he couldn't even hear him gasping for air anymore. Had he killed him?

"Kaname, please!"

He suddenly realised, with a start, that he was still holding onto his throat, but this wasn't Katsuo anymore. There was a flicker of colour change in his left eye, as it changed from red to the same blue as the other one, before both eyes fluttered closed. It was over. He was gone.

"It's Shiki! It's Shiki! You have to stop!" Takuma screamed hoarsely.

Kaname let the body fall from his grasp, catching him so he didn't fall onto Zero. He carefully extracted Shiki's limp hands from Zero's body, and then threw Shiki aside, uncaring that he fell to the floor with a painfully loud _thump._ He was immediately focused on Zero. Kneeling over him, he tipped his head back by his chin, feeling for his breathing.

As far as Kaname knew, he was still alive, through the Bond. He could still feel him through the Bond, though he was weak – just like his breathing which was incredibly shallow. Panic flared through him as he saw how ashen Zero's skin was, and how cold he felt.

Throwing a hasty look at the door, where he heard footsteps approaching, Kaname almost cried in relief as he saw Kain, Aidou and Ruka there. They all looked hesitant to enter the room, but he yelled them in.

"Take _him_ away," he ordered, nodding towards Shiki's body. Takuma was knelt beside him, but still obediently held himself away from touching his dear friend. His head was bowed in shame, and he shuddered at Kaname's piercing stare. Kain shuffled over, his face green-tinged as he slung the unconscious Shiki onto his back.

Kaname was torn between going with Aidou's lot, to put Shiki in another Pureblood-fixed cage and lock him up for good, or to stay here with Zero. The trio dragged Shiki away though, and his priorities immediately shifted.

"Takuma, go get the doctor here, _immediately_,"

"Hai," the blonde said quietly, hurrying out of the room, his eyes only flickering to Shiki once.

Kaname looked back down at Zero's tattered body, grimacing as he noticed where the skin had been literally peeled off of him. He was leaking blood slowly now. There was not much left in him…

Kaname drew the pieces of skin together, finding some parts missing, like jigsaw puzzles – ripped into infinitesimal shreds, too tiny to ever piece back together again. The patchy bruises were now almost non-existent. Kaname was amazed to see the pale, smooth skin under all the blood. It didn't make sense, but he had no time to think on it. Instead, without caring if Aidou or the others were in the room, he bit open his own wrist and began dribbling it all over the seams of skin, rubbing it into the crack-like splits in the skin like an ointment.

Healing wouldn't begin instantly, like he wanted, but he willed his blood to fix Zero. _Save him, __**please**__, _he begged silently. He growled, seeing his wrist healed over again (too quickly, like how he wanted Zero to heal), and bit _deeper_ this time, sucking blood out of his wrist and crawling over Zero towards his head. He hovered over him and cradled his head in both hands, tilting his head backwards so his mouth opened slightly. Kaname clamped his mouth over Zero's, letting the blood flow into his throat. He rubbed Zero's throat as gently as he could manage, to stimulate his swallowing. Tearing his face from Zero's he again sucked blood from his wrist and fed it to Zero this way, feeling slight relief from the fact that Zero was at least managing to swallow the blood.

But when he looked down at his ripped stomach, the skin flaps were still separate, and blood – Zero's blood – was seeping out of the splits. He knew he was being impatient, like a child, but he was still furious at the sight of Zero still not being healed. Kaname sucked his wrist, fed him again, looked at his stomach. It was the same.

Kaname hadn't even realised he was crying until his vision was blurry and he felt his world shaking with his sobs. Zero's head fell back then, tipping over his supporting arm with blood dripping from the corners of his lips, horrifyingly similar to the rouge lips of a sad clown. A foam of bubbly red burst from his mouth, and he managed to suck in a breath, though he choked on the blood pooled in his throat and instinctively tried to turn over to hack it out.

But Kaname, seeing this, knew Zero would reopen his ripped stomach if he did so, and so he carefully guided Zero's head to the side, rubbing his back hopefully. The fact that Zero seemingly had the dismal choice between gurgling and drowning in blood, or turning and opening wounds which would bleed him to death, was the unfairest of choices life could give to him. Some of the messy mixture spilt from his mouth sideways, and he coughed wetly, spluttering most of Kaname's fresh blood out. It spattered on Kaname's arms.

"No, no Zero. You must keep it," Kaname murmured, though he was aware Zero was struggling to breathe on top of all things. He continued rubbing circles on his back, watching the puddle of sick and blood growing near Zero's head. Continuously whipping around, between seeing if the doctor had arrived yet, and if Zero would _open his eyes_, Kaname felt his control slip again as he began to weep like a child.

There was a horrific moment where Kaname considered the fact that Takuma, in his devotion to Shiki, may have disobeyed his orders and gone to _him_ instead of calling for the doctor –

– but then he remembered how loyal Takuma had been, staying away from Shiki, even when he had returned to normal and was crumpled like a rag doll on the floor, thrown to the side. And he forced himself to wait, and to have faith in Takuma's loyalty again.

The scene was horribly similar to many Kaname had seen in his life, with _Zero_ bleeding out on the floor this time. He had never seen Zero like this before – half dead, because he had been too weak to defend himself. The proud Hunter, always independent and insisting he could fend for himself, had this time not been too proud, but too _weak_, and he'd had no weapons to defend himself. Zero's body had betrayed him, and now-

Zero shuddered in his hold, and then his whole body began to convulse, shaking like he was freezing cold in the arctic – and when Kaname took his shoulders to restrain him, he _was_ turning cold, which made Kaname even more frantic –

_**Isamu was turning cold.**_

_**Shuddering from knowing that it was coming to an end, Kaname let the hand supporting Isamu's head slide up to his scalp, running it through his tangled hair**_

- He shook from the effort of holding himself back from stroking Zero's hair. Even as Zero's body went into a complete spasm, jerking under him, he didn't allow himself to touch his hair. Silly though it may be, the significance and resemblance were uncanny, and if he touched his hair he believed it might just end like…like…

"_Please, Zero. Please…"_

* * *

><p>It was the early hours of the next day by the time everything began to settle once more. When the doctor arrived in Zero's room, the expression on his face when he saw the scene almost threw Kaname into a whole new stage of panic, and he practically hurled the doctor down by Zero's side. The medic team were efficient though, in moving Zero onto a gurney and hightailing all the way to the Infirmary, where he was immediately sent into the small operation theatre, with Kaname fighting himself not to go in with him. He knew he would only be a distraction on the already frightened medical staff, and didn't want to risk the chance it would backfire onto Zero.<p>

So Kaname camped outside the theatre, his mighty aura coiling just on the perimeter of the OR (Operation Room), to remind the medical surgeons that he was there and _waiting_. Every quarter of an hour, a member of staff would nervously shimmy out of the room to give him updates, and then he would virtually throw them back into the room, barking at them that they should be working on _Zero_, not wasting time chatting to him (though he knew he was being unfair, since they were actually doing wonderful jobs of calming him down with each soothing update on Zero's progress).

Though he hated to be out there and waiting, so far he'd only heard good news from the staff. But simultaneously, Kaname was counting the number of visits he was getting from the staff, like clockwork every quarter hour, because the quarter hours were adding up, and from his calculations he had been there for almost six hours already.

_What was taking so long?_

Exhaustion was an evil looming beast, creeping to the edges of his vision like a black smoke, but Kaname didn't let himself fall into it. Zero _needed _him. Yuuki had arrived soon after he had, and was still in her pyjamas, curled up on a seat opposite him. Her head kept falling down, and then bobbing up as she shook herself awake. With her eyes red and swollen, Kaname had to insist she rest, so she was now curled into a ball on two chairs, fast asleep. He needed to know that at least one of the people he loved was healthy, and safe, so he stayed awake to keep vigil over both of them.

He was ready with his sleeve up, sterilised wipes near him – up and ready to transfer blood to Zero when needed. And already two pints had been drained from him – fresh hot, active blood instead of the chilled, dormant bags the staff had offered using instead. _No_, he said, _Zero needs_ _**fresh**__ blood_. He kept holding his arm out to the staff, sticking it in their faces at times, urging them to take more. But they wouldn't do it. And Kaname could tell he was already drained enough. If he was to be of use to anybody, he'd have to stay strong, and he needed to keep some blood for himself.

The nurse fed him blood pills by the handful, which tasted more disgusting than if he'd cleaned up the vomit with his own _tongue_. Truly, the taste of blood pills was deplorable. He made a mental note to encourage Aidou's work on improving them, for _taste_ too.

Finally after the sun began to rise again, the doctor appeared – Kaname was on his feet, ready to hurl him back into the OR – but on his face was a weary smile. A weary smile could mean many things, and so Kaname decided to brace himself for the news.

"He's doing well, very well. Your blood did him much good,"

A sigh whooshed out of him, and Kaname found his legs buckling. The doctor caught him and helped him carefully on the chair, his smile turning a shade warmer. He might hate Zero, but like all the staff of Kuran Castle, he adored his King. Seeing him a relieved smile spreading across his face was like watching a shy sun rise – something extraordinarily warm and beautiful to a Vampire.

The rest of the staff poured out of the theatre, each also smiling warmly at their beloved King's gratitude, which shone on his face as he slapped each one of them on the back in _thanks_.

Kaname grabbed onto the doctor's sleeve, dragging him closer.

"Please, tell me, what has been done?" he said, his voice raspy and cracking.

"Kiryuu-san's stomach appeared to be torn into when we wheeled him in, but by the time the operation began, it had already started healing from your blood in it. It was miraculously the only badly damaged organ, and we only had a little trouble cleaning up his spilled stomach acid. Some of the surrounding organs were slightly damaged from it, but Kuran-sama," the doctor paused, taking a breath, "Something truly extraordinary has happened. We've been observing his blood too, during the operation, and with each dose of your blood in him, he's only gotten even better,"

"That's wonderful," Kaname croaked, sagging in his seat. The doctor touched his shoulder.

"Not only that, Kuran-sama… it's strange, but from what we saw, his _own_ blood was working with _yours_ to heal himself. That is why this operation was much easier than most. His body is healing itself, at an exponentially increasing rate. It's truly remarkable. We stitched his stomach together, and as we did, we could already see his blood beginning to scab and heal,"

Kaname blinked, feeling more awake all of a sudden. Had the doctor said… their bloods were finally working together? But he thought that the doctor had said Zero's blood rejected his. From his curious face, the doctor decided to explain more.

"It's only a theory again, sir, but we believe that due to the trauma, Kiryuu-san's body knows how much trouble it's in. The body is truly an incredible thing – always conscious of when it needs urgent repair, and when it's near to death. Because it is an emergency, we believe your blood and his blood decided to ally themselves, for the purpose of healing him and keeping him alive.

"If you think of the bloods as being sentient, they were having petty quarrels before – which lead to all the bruising and damaged tissues – but now that they both have a greater enemy (_Kaname knew by 'greater enemy', the doctor meant possible __**death**_) so they have decided to work together to overcome it. We don't know if this alliance of the bloods will be permanent or only temporary, but it at least is enforced at the moment, which works to help speed up Kiryuu-san's recovery,"

So, it took a near-death situation for Zero's blood and his own to _get along_, did it? Kaname would have laughed, if he didn't lack the proper humour. The relief he felt was in a way, energizing, and in another, a sleep inducer. Kaname felt like he could sleep for days now. The past few hours had been extremely gruelling, and he wanted nothing more than to go to sleep, but he knew that far more things had to be dealt with before he could rest in good conscience.

For one, he had to go and make sure Shiki was restrained _for good_. He knew that somewhere in the castle, Takuma was hiding, probably beating himself up in guilt for letting Shiki loose to cause all this disaster. Kaname didn't hold much anger towards Takuma though. With each time he picked at Shiki, Takuma was always there to defend him. Takuma's feelings for Shiki were _strong_, and Kaname could respect that he wanted to defend him no matter what cost. It only irritated him that Takuma's solid loyalty to Shiki was testing his loyalty to _him_. If it had come down to it, Kaname could have killed Shiki. What then would Takuma have done? Would he have turned on Kaname in revenge? Would he join Rido in spite?

Kaname knew these were all rather rash speculations, but he also knew the pain of losing someone you loved. He knew how hollow the feeling was, how cold the anger burned, how desperate you became, so that you either had to _hunt down the person who killed them_ – or you'd kill yourself in your madness.

* * *

><p>The three of them watched Shiki on a rota, but he hadn't woken up yet. Though the rota was meant for them to have turns resting, none of them could rest easy, knowing that they were having to watch Shiki like he was an enemy. <em>Like their own friend was an enemy<em>. Was this madness? Aidou thought so. He couldn't believe Shiki would do something bad, until he had seen it for himself.

It was difficult to sleep with the image of Zero's mangled body imprinted in each of their minds, painted on the insides of their eyelids, so that each time they blinked they could see the nightmarish scene. The blood, the flesh torn open, entrails almost hanging out of Zero's body…

Aidou shuffled uncomfortably on the small sofa. They were currently in Shiki's room – the only logical place they could think of to bring him to. He was lying on his bed, still.

Ruka had taken responsibility for wiping as much blood as she could off of him. She couldn't get the blood out of under his fingernails.

Kain then changed him quickly into some clean pyjamas. His back was still blood-smeared, but he wasn't leaving Shiki alone with Aidou and Ruka, even to go to quickly change his shirt.

"Not sleeping, Hana?" a voice said softly. He wriggled around, seeing Kain's red-rimmed amber eyes gazing at him fondly. One glance at Ruka's crumpled form told him she'd passed out in exhaustion. He shook his head sombrely, watching Kain scuttle over clumsily, riddled in fatigue. Even the vibrant colour of his usually flaming red hair was dulled in the dim lighting, and the circles under his eyes were huge. Aidou shifted so he sat upright, and patted the seat beside him.

Kain gratefully took the seat, coiling his long arms around Aidou protectively. He rested his chin on Aidou's hair, shuddering at the bitter frostiness of his skin – but that was just Aidou. When he was stressed, his powers acted out. Sometimes during exam period he had even made it snow (and hail) indoors.

In turn, he rubbed his shoulders, radiating an almost scorching heat. Aidou squeaked, slapping him, but he only chuckled, enjoying the contrast in their skin temperatures.

"Poor Zero," he mumbled, impressed when Aidou nodded readily. It wasn't a secret to anyone that Aidou practically _loathed_ Zero, because he was so rude and disrespectful to Kaname. But even Aidou, who didn't like him at all, didn't wish this type of savage torture on him. "I didn't even know Shiki was out and about,"

"He was taken out of his cage when he cut himself, remember? Just before we left for the Hanadagi's, Shiki bled himself out and was taken to the Infirmary,"

Kain thought back to then, nodding when he remembered it – seeing Shiki wrapped in bandages like a mummy in the hospital bed. From what he could recall, Takuma had been babbling nonsense in his distraught state, but he managed to explain to them that Shiki had gone delusional. He had a blood Bond with his mother, and apparently he could feel her hunger, and desired to feed her, so he bled himself.

Kain squinted at Shiki. There was something fishy about that memory. Shiki was Bonded to his mother, which was weird enough, but if he'd been Bonded to her for most of his life, surely he could handle feeling her hunger pangs through the Bond. Surely he was used to the feeling of being needed for blood, and he could control his desire to feed her.

So what had made him snap?

He opened his mouth to speak but Aidou interrupted before he could.

"Isn't it funny?" he said quietly, so as to not wake Ruka.

"It's strange," Kain agreed, "That Shiki would act out like that after all this time,"

"You're talking about the incident ages ago, right? Where he was taken out of his cell,"

"Yeah, I mean, he's had this Bond with his mom for some time, right? So wouldn't he be used to her hunger pangs? Wouldn't he be able to control himself, instead of bleeding himself out all crazy? He's never done that before, and he should be used to controlling his urge to feed her. Something's definitely weird about that,"

"I think it's Rido," Aidou said, squirming away to face him, "Shiki's never lost it like that before. I'm sure it's Rido who messed with his head, telling him to feed his mother. He must have gone crazy and cut himself – bled himself out,"

Kain's eyes widened in understanding, "It was a plan. It was all a plan!"

Aidou nodded, his eyes whirling with his thoughts, "Rido must have planned it out so that Shiki would go mad, and that he'd harm himself. He'd know that we would be convinced by it, and that he would be removed from the cage to be treated in the Infirmary. And while he was healing, he was perfectly free to move. There were no restraints, no security-"

"And perhaps," Kain gasped, "Perhaps our kidnapping – the whole fiasco with the Hanadagi's – could_ that_ have been a sort of diversion, to distract our attention from Shiki?"

Aidou nodded again, "That could be true. While everyone's attention was fixed on saving us, Shiki's body must have finished healing, and he was left in the castle with Ichijou. Rido must know that they are Bonded, and he used that to convince Ichijou to let Shiki loose around the castle,"

"Even with Shiki promising to stay in his quarters, he could move freely in the castle, and was primed to attack Zero at any time," a voice said from the door. They whipped around to see Kaname, leaning against the doorway. "All you have said… it makes sense now. We were playing right into Rido's trap. We made tragic mistakes,"

"Kaname," Aidou breathed, darting over to him, "Is he alright? How is Kiryuu?"

Kaname smiled tiredly, "He made it. He's healing really well, apparently,"

The cousins grinned, and Aidou was even bold enough to pat Kaname on the shoulder. The Pureblood allowed them graciously to clap him on the back, returning the favour with good humour, until his eyes fell on Shiki. Abruptly, his smile dropped, and the two cousins could feel his aura building. A dark, grudging aura spilled from Kaname, soaking into the spaces of the room and making everyone tense – even Ruka in her sleep.

Kaname stepped towards the bed, and then he spread out his hands. From behind, they could only see this – that Kaname's arms were spread out, and his hands were trembling slightly. There was a small shimmer in the air, a crackle – and then the bars _shoomed _out of thin air, fusing with the ceiling and floor. A perimeter of thick bars caged the bed, lining a box just a half foot around the edge off the bed mattress. Kaname then raised his arms slowly, and they saw a shimmer of metal rise from behind the bars. A metal mesh sheet, so thin that they could see through it, was making double-sure that Shiki was completely encased in the new cage.

This updated cage was definitely more secure than the last one. The extra mesh of metal sheet behind the bars made sure that Shiki couldn't even get at the bars, to slip out of them. Aidou was convinced that by Kaname's design, the mesh sheet must be made to be so smooth, or impenetrable, that Shiki could never get through it either. The metal mesh even went around the back of the bed, lining the wall, so if Rido tried to get Shiki to break through the wall, he couldn't manage it anymore. They couldn't see it, but the cage probably even extended to the ceiling and the floor. It was obvious that Kaname was taking no chances anymore.

Kaname's knees buckled , but he quickly rebalanced himself, locking his knees so he stood straight. It only occurred to Aidou now, how exhausted Kaname must be too. Sometimes, he ignorantly expected that Kaname could never be tired, or ever give up. Perhaps he was right about the latter–Kaname would _never_ give up, the Pureblood was famous for being determined (even called _stubborn_ by Takuma). But Aidou felt guilty that he had assumed Kaname was some sort of super-Vampire who never got tired. He may be a Pureblood, but he was just as susceptible to tiredness. And especially with Kaname having to deal with so many things at once… he must be dead on his feet.

Aidou's heart went out to Kaname at that moment, and he felt his feet move without his permission, walking over to Kaname and taking him by the elbow, leading him gingerly to the sofa. He sat him down and wrestled a pillow out from under Kain's right thigh, fluffing it up and handing it to Kaname.

"You need to rest, Kaname-sama," he said quietly, holding his hand up unflinchingly as Kaname opened his mouth to speak. "You're almost going to _collapse_. We need you to keep strong, and you need to be in good health for your own sanity, right? Everything's okay now. So go to bed, take a nap – it's late," he glanced over to the clock, seeing it was late morning, "We'll keep things running,"

"That's kind of you, Aidou, but I have _things_ I need to do-"

"Kaname-sama! We're _worried_ about you," Aidou flushed, feeling Kain's encouraging eyes on him, "You _need _to rest. _Please_," he widened his eyes imploringly, ignoring Kain's snort of amusement at his use of his '_puppy eyes'_. Ridiculous. What types of puppies had bright blue eyes like him? Huskies? Those puppies were freaky, like mini-wolves…

Kaname felt his resolve fail at the sight of Aidou's infamous '_puppy eyes'_, melting slightly at his kindness. Aidou was truly one of his most faithful friends, always dedicated to making his life more comfortable and easy. He was a great comfort, when Kaname knew Takuma was out of reach. He wanted to go find Takuma and both forgive him and apologise to him. It strained at his heart to be at odd ends with his best friend. His anchor was lost without Takuma by his side. In a way, Kaname felt like half a person.

He shuffled down the sofa, minding Kain (who politely made room for him), and stuffing the pillow under his head. Kaname sighed, closing his eyes. He was so exhausted that even the horrors of the past few hours couldn't get to him, the dark smoke of sleep was shrouding him in sleep-

But then, there was a knock at the door.

Aidou groaned.


	58. No Rest For The

**Author's note:**

**Apologies to WhiteWolf64KEGi, I really find husky puppies cute, you know! They are very cute. Very, very cute… it's just they ****do ****tend to look a little more fierce than other puppies. That's kinda why I like them. They got spunk, yknow? Aidou's just a bit spiteful of the name "puppy eyes".**

'**Kay, to make sure everyone understands things (I'm not saying this in a patronising way – this plot I've made is quite weird and difficult to understand), I'm going to go over a few facts. I'm not confident I made them very clear anyway, so don't be upset if you didn't understand – I'm not very good at explaining things.**

**Katsuo and Lady were mates – they had children together, ones who were born **_**before**_** the unborn child who died with Lady. Kaname had children too, with another unnamed Vampire lady. **

**Katsuo and Lady's surviving children eventually mingled with Kaname's children, and the bloodlines merged, making the Kuran clan.**

**Therefore Rido, Haruka, Juri, **_**Kuran **_**Kaname (not the Ancestor) and Yuuki are ****ALL**** descendants of ****Katsuo, Lady and Kaname the Ancestor****.**

**Now, about the "blue eye/Lady/Shiki" thing… it's complicated XD**

**Shiki has blue eyes. Lady does not. Rido has both a red eye and blue eye. **

**But whenever Shiki is possessed by Rido **_**at all**_**, regardless of whether Rido is hmm kinda sorta **_**Katsuo**_**, ****he will have a red eye and a blue eye.**

**All I'm saying about Rido's eyes colouring is that it's to do with Lady and Katsuo. If that isn't a very good hint, you'll find out later XD**

**btw, this is sort of a filler... i think? but i thought we needed to get around a few of the details in this chapter. and anyway, we need a break from the gore, guys!**

* * *

><p><em>Am I wicked?<em>

Kaname stirred his tea, gauchely knocking the spoon against the side. He wished it was coffee, which might remedy the throbbing headache and sting when his eyes closed. Sleep was really getting to him. How many days had he gone without?

_There is no rest for the __**wicked**__._

He eyed his guests from across his heavy cherry wood with slight disdain. For _them_ it was only nearing lunchtime, but for himself it was well into the time when he should be sleeping. Already his nicely fluffed cushion had had to be left with Aidou, and his head felt heavy without the soft support (even though he'd only managed to rest on it for a few seconds).

Takuma was the one who had knocked at the door, saying that they had 'company', with a tiny twitch of his left brow. That twitch meant _Hunters_ were the 'company'.

Sure enough, he found the Headmaster and Yagari seated at his desk. Takuma had only allowed him to drink tea, not coffee, and he knew from the many times he'd been lectured by him, that it was because caffeine would only make his headache worse later on. Vampire genes reacted strangely to some drugs, such as caffeine, where at the beginning he would feel awake and lively (his blood buzzing with energy) and then in the next hour he would feel sapped of energy, lethargic. Eventually he would get a _very_ bad headache, borderline migraine, and generally, from then on, _things would hurt_.

But the buzz he needed, the caffeine he _craved _was at the moment his greatest temptation. It would be terribly rude to appear half-asleep to these… _important_ guests. At the moment he was sustaining himself on an incredibly concentrated blood pill tea, which he had yet to sip.

Even strong Assam tea would not curb the bitter taste.

"Kaname-kun, you look very tired. Is this a bad ti-"

"Shut it, Kaien," Yagari snapped, leaning forwards in his seat, "We're here about Zero. We want him back,"

"Oh? And why is that?" Kaname asked smoothly, trying not to let his surprise show on his face. He tried not to think about Zero at the moment. He hadn't even waited around to see what he looked like after surgery. His mind had systematically latched onto the next thing on his mental to-do list, which was to lock Shiki up properly, so at least everyone would be a little more safe. Kaname was incredibly aware of how short on time they were, and so he was trying to target each problem as quickly as he could. He longed to see how Zero was, though.

If what the doctor had said was correct, he might be healed even more.

Kaname remembered the pale, bruise-free skin. Their bloods were cooperating. They weren't _compatible_, he supposed, but they were working enough to fix Zero and get him out of mortal danger. It was quite amusing to think of the blood cells as being able to think, as if they were _people_. The fact that the blood at first rejected each other, then fought each other ruthlessly, and finally combined together to oppose the greater enemy was quite symbolic of his and Zero's relationship during the past year, where they had made a truce during the War.

"He's spent too long here. You seem to forget but he is one of _us_, a **Hunter**," Yagari said, his tone impassioned. Kaname felt his frail control loosen again and irritation bristle his skin.

"_You_ seem to forget he is also a Vampire now, and his place, at this moment in time, must be with _us_ here,"

"We need him back," Yagari repeated simply, narrowing his eye at Kaname. "You have no control over him, and as his guardian, I can and _will _drag the law into this if you do not bring him to me,"

Kaname flinched, biting his lip. He hadn't known _Yagari_ was Zero's guardian. He assumed it was Kaien, in which case it would have been so much easier for him to persuade him to let Zero stay.

He felt a flare of protective anger in his veins. The events of last night were still raw in his mind, and instinctively, he did not want to let Zero out of his sight, or at the least, his castle.

"For what purpose do you need Zero?"

"He's needed with the Hunters. We've done as you wanted, Kaname. We've got our people all set up and ready and based around the Academy. We've predicted areas where the enemy might strike – Human areas – and placed Hunters on guard around them. But we're missing one of our best soldiers," Kaien said calmly, ignoring Yagari's warning look.

"I understand, but I really think it would be prudent for him to stay here. This castle is the safest place for him," Kaname shot his penetrating gaze to Yagari before he could interject, "I really think you could spare _one_ Hunter for the moment, couldn't you?"

Yagari leaned back in his seat again, a humourless smirk appearing on his lips. Kaien glanced at him warily, tense and prepared to launch in between the two of them if Yagari lost control of his temper. He could already see Yagari was nearing the end of his rope, coiled like a spring – ready to launch into full-_angry-_mode if Kaname didn't let Zero go. Over the past few weeks, they'd both carefully listened out for the goings on of the Vampires, but things were very quiet (at least from their end), and they didn't know what was happening beyond what Kaname had said at the Coronation.

And Kaname hadn't contacted them since. Yagari had gotten edgy over the last few days, saying things "didn't feel right". When they got the update from their other contact, Kaien's old Vampire friend, Shouto Isaya, who had recently woken from his fifty-year slumber, they were shocked at the events going on around the Purebloods. Isaya was very well-informed for someone who had been asleep for so long, but it was due to this that he had forced himself to catch up and open his ears. Apparently the Hanadagi's had been overtaken by Rido, forcibly Woken from their hibernation and put under his control. Kaien was grateful that Isaya had chosen to Wake by himself – at least he was safe from Rido's Awakening.

Rido was supposedly trying to take control of the Purebloods and gain their loyalty, though all of them were steadfastly refusing, after having witnessed the carnage of the last War under Rido's army. Also, Rido had called on the whole of the Vampire race to join his side, and according to Shouto, a small proportion of the Vampires had already joined him. It was unknown how many others were still debating with themselves, uncertain which side to ally themselves with. Rido must've given a really good speech to sway so many Vampires' previously strong loyalties against Kaname.

Either that, or the Vampires were truly getting fed up of dealing with Humans. The new war was all about Humans this time – driving the Human race into extinction.

Kaien suspected many of the traitors were previous supporters of the Vampire Council, and had some sort of grudge against Kaname to begin with. Rido's offer of whatever _fortunes_ was what must have tipped the scales in his favour. Those Vampires weren't worthy of being on the right side then. They were weak-willed and greedy.

Kaien was glad now to see that Kaname was alright, but the others…he hadn't seen them, apart from Takuma who had greeted them. Yagari was getting worked up again. The last time they'd seen Zero was at the Coronation, and with his luck, and things "not feeling right", Yagari was getting increasingly apprehensive.

He watched him now, leaning back with a smirk that would make most people wet their pants. Kaname wasn't affected in the slightest, countering the smirk with his own frustratingly stoic expression.

For a while they stared at each other, daring each other, to do what-

"Look, Kuran," Yagari snarled.

Ah, daring each other to break the tense silence. Kaien gulped.

"We aren't stupid, despite what you might think, and _you_ aren't as dumb as you look either. So you should know that when I say we _want_ and we _need_ Zero, what I mean is _we're gonna get him_. We're leaving with him, no matter what you say,"

"I cannot allow that," Kaname said calmly.

Yagari leapt to his feet, slamming on the table. His blue eye flashed, "_Where is he? What have you done to him?"_

Kaname had also stood to keep at the same level as him. He narrowed his eyes, "How dare you? Nothing has been done to him-"

"Then why won't you let us see him?"

Kaien stood, placing a restraining hand on Yagari's arm. He turned to look at Kaname with a diplomatic smile on his face, "Yes, Kaname. Can we at least see him?"

Kaname's face was still a stoic mask, but underneath it, he was panicking.

"If we see him alright, and you really insist the castle is the best place for him… then we have no reason to take him back, right _Toga-kun_?" Kaien said sweetly, tightening his fingers till they dug sharply into Yagari's flesh. Yagari's excuse that they needed Zero for the Hunters forces… such a weak argument. So pitiable. _Honestly Togaaa…_

Kaname wouldn't have bought that excuse. Yagari really wasn't the best at coming up with "excuses", and Kaien hadn't tried to help him. He trusted Kaname, unlike Yagari, and trusted that Kaname would contact them if anything bad had happened. Zero was under Kaname's care, so surely he must be alright if nothing had been said, right?

Even as he thought this, Kaien had to agree that stepping into the castle, he something "didn't feel right". Where were the other Vampires – Kaname's friends? Why was Kaname being persistent on keeping Zero, and why was there that flicker of panic in his eyes? Kaien thought he was imagining it, but he thought he could smell blood. Vampire Hunters were about as good at Humans at smelling blood, which meant he couldn't really be sure.

Kaname's eyes flickered between the two Hunters, assessing them carefully. Yagari was still fuming, but had calmed down a bit to await his answer, though Kaname was sure he would almost certainly seek Zero out for himself even without his permission.

If he told them about Zero… even Kaien would be determined to get him away from the castle.

Kaname was caught in a dilemma. He knew Kaien would see through any lie he told, but telling the truth would make them lose faith in his ability to protect Zero, so they would take him away…

"You _do_ remember… that Shiki has been possessed again by Rido?"

They both nodded – it wasn't hard to remember the first victims of his possession had been the Hunters during the Coronation. This memory wasn't the best for them to recall, because Yagari again leaned forwards, knowing now that there was bad news regarding this possession, and… and _Zero_-

"Just tell me what the fuck happened, Kuran!" he almost yelled, slamming his fist on the desk again impatiently. "If he hurt Zero-"

"Unfortunately that's exactly what has happened,"

Yagari's blood ran cold. He watched Kaname's mouth open a few times, and then he spoke again.

"Rido possessed Shiki last night, and he attacked Zero. He was badly injured by the time we arrived, but he is healing very well now,"

He couldn't listen to anymore of this. Yagari swung around, storming towards the door. Kaname zoomed to his side with Vampiric speed, blocking the doorway urgently. Yagari was tempted to use a good dozen of his Hunter charms, tucked in his pocket, on Kaname. He could charge them and plant them in quick succession, create a diversion and go find Zero-

"Yagari-san. Please listen to me. The castle is the safest place for-"

"Bullshit. You tell me he's safe here after telling me he was attacked just last night?" Yagari laughed bitterly. "I'm getting him and we're _leaving_,"

"Shiki has been imprisoned-"

"He should've been imprisoned to start with! Where is your security? What the hell were you thinking letting him loose about the place? Are you _mad_, Kuran? No. You're just a kid who can't take proper responsibility for those in his care-"

"Yagari-san," Kaname said through clenched teeth, forcing himself to remain calm, "I agree, it was my mistake. Everything is my fault. I expected things were safe in the castle when they were not. But you must understand that this was straight after the confrontation at the Hanadagi's. I… many of us are physically _exhausted_ from it. We dropped our guard for a _moment_ and it backfired horribly," he took a deep breath, seeing nothing change in Yagari's murderous expression, "I'm sorry. I've tried. I tried to keep everything under control, but there's so _much_ going on. Please, forgive me for Zero's injuries. It was all my fault," he bowed solemnly, blinking rapidly under the cover of his hair. His shoes looked blurry from the sudden tears which had sprung into his eyes. _It really is all my fault. But I'm so _tired_, I'm just so __**tired**__…_

Yagari scoffed, shoving Kaname aside and careening down the corridor, full-pelt. He heard Kaname's stumbling footsteps behind him, and then found the Pureblood at his side again, slightly ahead of him, leading him down the corridor. He paused, wondering if Kaname was trying to lead him astray and then kick him out of the castle. The trickster he was, he could be doing exactly that. But then he saw Kaien following confidently after Kaname, glancing back at him only once with a disapproving stare that still made Yagari wince, even at his age.

Kaien hurried after Kaname, catching his sleeve to slow him down slightly. He only briefly caught sight of Kaname's glossy eyes, and immediately felt his heart swell with sympathy.

"Kaname, Kaname listen to me," he said softly, watching his friend's eyes flicker once to him in recognition, "You've done a good job. You're doing all you can, and I'm proud of you,"

"I made a mistake," Kaname stammered, struggling to not let his voice wobble.

"We all do. We _all_ do, Kaname, and that's alright-"

"It wasn't alright this time,"

The pace they were walking at meant Kaien had to fight for breath to match Kaname's agitated steps. He could tell that he was angry with himself. Didn't Kaname see that Yagari's baiting was doing this to him? Kaien was actually quite angry at Yagari for the way he had acted. He was using emotional blackmail against Kaname – Kaname who had tried his best to do what he could, and yet managed to make an awful mistake. The guilt Kaname must feel for letting Zero get hurt was punishment enough. Yagari was being cruel by rubbing it in; he was taking it too far.

"What's done is done, Kaname. Please, let go of your guilt. Let go of your anger," he begged, tugging on Kaname's sleeve insistently, "You told us yourself that Zero is healing well,"

"He shouldn't have been hurt at all. He shouldn't have been in that situation,"

"Well… why _was_ Shiki allowed to roam free? Was that something that was out of your control?" Kaien suggested, watching Kaname's eyebrows draw together in a frown.

"It was… Rido tricked us,"

Kaien could see Kaname wasn't going to explain everything, but from his tone he wasn't hiding anything, except perhaps, a long story not worth mentioning.

"Alright," he said comfortingly, "You see? It was Rido's doing again,"

"I should have known,"

He sighed. When Kaname got into this guilty rut, it was the hardest thing in the world to get him to let go of his guilt. He tugged Kaname forcefully this time, pulling him to a stop. At times like this, Kaien felt like the older one of the two of them, though he knew that Kaname was much older than him. He was the first one Kaname revealed his true identity to, of being the last Ancestor. It was rare when Kaien could feel older than Kaname, like he could provide him with good advice.

"You couldn't have," he said quietly, wrapping a fatherly arm around Kaname. He quickly glanced behind them, seeing Yagari trailing at the bottom of the corridor. He turned back to Kaname, noticing at last how tired he looked. He had never seen Kaname in a state like this, where his face was so pale from exhaustion, and even ghostly black circles were faint under his eyelids. The stress was wearing on him. Kaien's soft heart swelled once more, "Look at yourself, Kaname. You've got too much on your plate, you look shattered. When did you last rest?"

Kaname merely shook his head with a shrug. Kaien sucked in a breath, reaching to tilt Kaname's chin towards him.

"You're torturing yourself, Kaname. You need to be strong. You need to rest, without all this guilt and pressure wearing you down. We need you to stay healthy,"

Kaname laughed humourlessly, "I was _trying_ to rest, when you two came,"

Kaien sighed, turning to see Yagari almost catching up to them, he spun them round to begin walking again. "When you've shown us to Zero, we'll sort some things out, alright? You have friends around you, Kaname, and you really need to use them. We're here to help relieve you, so you must tell us what you need. Perhaps if Zero is providing some trouble, we could then take him off your hands?" he saw Kaname's jaw tighten and lifted his hands in surrender, "It's only a suggestion. Otherwise, what would you have us do?"

Kaname shrugged, "Do what you are doing. I want Zero here in the castle. I'm not lying when I say it is the safest place for him. He needs to be with me,"

"Alright, but there must be something else we can do,"

"You can… I'd have you training your Hunters with the Vampire recruits. Time is short. It is like the last War. The Vampires and Hunters must train together and order themselves. Can you organise this?"

"We can," Kaien agreed, patting his friend's burdened shoulder. He nodded, "We can,"

* * *

><p>When they arrived at the Zero's bed in the Infirmary, Kaname's statement of "he's healing well" was proven, and he felt a little bit of pressure from Yagari's side being assuaged. Zero looked peaceful, and not in the <em>dying<em> sense, in the sense that he looked like he was sleeping surprisingly well. Kaname noted that his skin was pale and mostly un-bruised, even the previously mottled skin of his hand was smooth and pale once more. The blood was clearly working on more important things now.

Yagari was stood by Zero's feet, scrutinising his student with troubled eyes, taking in each of the tubes linked to his arm, the breathing apparatus attached to his nose and mouth like a muzzle. His breaths were strong though, and he could hear from the side a nurse mentioning that it could probably be removed when he woke. There were clean bandages wrapped around his wrists, but the bedsheets were pulled up to under his armpits, so they couldn't see much else of his injuries. Kaname was exceedingly thankful for this. He wasn't otherwise going to enjoy having to explain what else Zero had suffered.

He watched Kaien drag Yagari aside warily, but returned his attentions to Zero, taking a seat beside his bed. He ignored the hasty look Yagari shot at him.

Kaname bowed his head to Zero in a silent apology, pondering whether it would be acceptable for him to take his hand. His left hand was resting just by Kaname's knee, which was pressed flush against the mattress. There was a tube in Zero's wrist, where Kaname's bagged blood was flowing into his vein. He hesitated again, but then gave in – taking Zero's hand and folding it between his own warmer hands.

Kaien dragged his ex-student to the opposite side of the room, knowing Kaname could still hear them perfectly, but knowing it would also allow Yagari to feel more comfortable talking to him. He snapped his fingers in front of his face when Yagari chose to remain staring at Zero's prone body.

"We're not taking him with us," Kaien said simply, slamming his hand over Yagari's mouth when he opened it to protest. "No, Toga. Kaname is confident it is safe here, and if it's safe, he should stay. It only makes sense, that when he's in a weak state like this, he should move as little as possible,"

"He can come with us when he's well then?" Yagari said, though it sounded more like a question. It pained Kaien to have to deny his beloved ex-student what he himself would want, if he was in Yagari's place, but he knew that they should listen to Kaname. They should believe in Kaname.

"No," he shook his head firmly, again stopping Yagari from speaking, "Kaname has this under control. You can see Zero is healing very well, he's going to be okay,"

"I don't like it. He isn't safe here, Kaien. _Please_,"

Kaien blinked disbelievingly, not accustomed to seeing Yagari beg like this. The man was truly concerned, even frantic to keep Zero with him. But that protective nature was akin to the one he had for Yagari still, the urge to keep him close when he was vulnerable (which was hardly _ever_ anymore…something that Kaien was reluctantly proud about).

He grasped his shoulder resolutely, "You trust me, don't you Toga?" he was met with a definite nod, "Then you must trust Kaname, as I trust him,"

Yagari's mouth opened, but there were no words he could say. He shot a longing look at Zero, half-heartedly trying to be less obvious with his worry.

It was going to be hard to convince Yagari that he could trust Kaname. Kaien knew that, even more than Zero had ever done, it was _Yagari _who loathed the Purebloods more than anyone. It was Yagari who had come to find his closest friends and their children annihilated by a Pureblood's hands. Zero had to live with it, but in a way, growing up with the after-effects of that Pureblood's cruelty was not _easier_, but less horrific to cope with than watching him suffer from a third person perspective. Every time Yagari saw Zero, he was reminded of the fact that _he hadn't been there when they needed him, he wasn't there to protect him, he had failed him._ In this way, the guilt Yagari felt fuelled his hatred of the Purebloods, because this guilt was never going to fade. Trusting Kaname was going to feel like some sort of betrayal to the Kiryuu's memory.

Kaien grinned weakly, clapping him on the back. "Come, Toga. We've seen that Zero is alright now, but we have work to do,"

He managed to coax his ex-student out of the room, with some light-hearted jibing and chatter, though he let Yagari run his hand once through Zero's hair for his own comfort before they left.

Kaname watched them leave, feeling himself relax once more. It was now completely silent.

He still warmed Zero's hands in his, but then placed it carefully on the mattress and shuffled off his chair to kneel closer by the bedside, so his torso was perched over the edge of the mattress, propped up by his elbows. He folded his arms together into a hollow to cradle his head, and then rested like that, with his face turned towards Zero's. Kaname closed his eyes, letting out a shuddering breath.

_Yes_. He could relax here, more than anywhere else. Knowing he was safe…

Even Aidou's pillow couldn't provide this comfort.

Kaname blinked once more, capturing Zero's serene face in his mind, before he let himself drift off.

* * *

><p>"Ichijou…you've not gone to see him yet,"<p>

Takuma shook his head sombrely, rolling his sleeves back so the dust wouldn't reach them. He wrung the dust cloth out till it was almost dry, and then continued carefully wiping dust from the old books Aidou was plucking from the shelves. He'd managed to grab Aidou in one of the corridors, and persuaded him to help him look for the cures. Finally, he'd have use of that _great brain_ of his to help with working on the texts he'd been researching, and maybe they'd manage to figure something out. But Aidou seemed to think that there weren't _enough_ books out of the shelves, because he was pulling out more and more. Clouds of dust sprung from the tops of the shelves, where the oldest, least disturbed books lived. Takuma had taken it upon himself to clean them, though he wondered if it was doing water-damage to the books…

"Why haven't you gone to him? He's perfectly safe now,"

Aidou peered down from his great height at the hand-puppet sized Takuma below him. Takuma shook his wheat coloured hair, placing the book on one of the tall towers they had built. His green eyes stared up at Aidou.

"Aren't you afraid?" he asked, hurrying over to catch the next dusty book which was dropped down.

Aidou scoffed, "Of Shiki? I don't think so. It hasn't really sunk in yet. It's really scary thinking of him like that,"

"So you _are_ afraid," Takuma raised his hand in a placating manner, "I'm not teasing you, Aidou. It's perfectly reasonable to be afraid at the moment. I know I am,"

"Of Shiki?"

"Perhaps," Takuma sighed, running a dirty hand through his hair unknowingly as he gazed to the side, thoughts whirling through his mind, "I'm afraid of him, yes, but I'm more afraid of _myself_. Was it my fault that I let him loose? I trusted him, I can't… I can't _bear_ to see him like this. I don't think I can stand going to see him now, when he's locked up like a wild animal.

"I can't help thinking that it's all _my fault_. That scar he got… during the fight in the woods – I should have protected him. I shouldn't have been so clumsy and gotten hurt _before_ the fight. Shiki was all alone when he fought with Rido, without any help… I can't look at him now without feeling sick.

"Even if I _wanted_ to visit Senri right now, I wouldn't," he said quietly, fiddling with his shirt sleeves again, "I mean… without Kaname's permission, I won't let myself. I've lost his trust too many times already. I may have betrayed Kaname before, but this time I'll make sure that I won't,"

"Good. However, we must hurry to find this cure," Aidou chirped, sliding down the ladder and landing neatly. He turned to Takuma, giving him what he hoped was an encouraging smile. "It will be alright, Ichijou. Be optimistic in these dark times. Keep that annoying smile on your face if you can. _Hope_,"


	59. Wicked Who Slumber

**Author's note:**

**ha, now, to explain the link to the past chapter regarding the titles... the definition of "to rest" which I am using is: "Cessation of work, exertion, or activity"**

**You can sleep, or slumber, but not _rest_ per say. For example - you could have a long sleep but not feel rested.**

**btw, in this chapter, it is a dream, not a memory. it isnt strictly accurate.**

* * *

><p><em>There was a warm breeze in the air, a warm hand in his, squeezing his palm every time the bushes rustled. But his brother wasn't afraid of what lingered in the bushes, he was watching keenly for the new autumn litter of brown rabbits that might dart across their path. Zero wasn't prepared to nurse a bunch of bruises and scratches though, so he kept a tight hold of his little brother to stop him from pouncing each time the leaves on the bushes shimmered.<em>

_Zero tugged them to a stop, readjusting the awfully heavy bucket in his hand. Technically it should be the two of them who carried the bucket together, but Ichiru had only just recovered from a nasty bout of flu and was still slightly feverish. Their parents didn't want to let him go train with Zero, but he'd insisted. Zero watched him, on high alert, so they could head back to the house at a moment's notice. So far Ichiru had been alright, only needing to stop every while for a breather. _

_It was ridiculous, this "training" Yagari had sent him to do, _seriously_ – carrying a water bucket? Zero wanted to kick the bucket away. His arm sockets were sore and stretched – he was sure his right arm had grown by at least an inch. But part of the training was to strengthen himself, the other part was to learn patience. The bucket had a compartment below the bottom, where a tiny candle was lit. If Zero rushed or jostled the bucket enough, the water (which he'd been told to fill almost to the brim) would spill down the sides, into the compartment and the candle would go out. He'd have to go back to Yagari, all embarrassed and frustrated, and get the candle relit, and then have to go _again.

"_Zero-nii-chan, I want to help," _

_Zero rubbed the sweat from his face, smiling slightly at his brother's sweet eager face. "You can't, Ichiru. This is my assignment," even though it's freaking _stupid. _This assignment was like something out of '_The Karate Kid'_. _

"_Please," Ichiru whined, bending to pick up one side of the handle. "We can share,"_

_He sighed, but took the other side. He could never win against Ichiru. Zero wanted to give his brother everything he could, because he missed out on so many things. He felt guilty that he got to do the things Ichiru could only dream about. If letting him carry half the bucket's weight would make him happier, he supposed it wouldn't hurt much. _

_They shared the load, walking even slower so their paces matched perfectly and the bucket wouldn't tip. Already they were halfway home, and Zero found himself smiling as Ichiru whooped upon sighting the plum tree landmark. _

"_When will the blossoms come, nii-chan?"_

"_It's too early yet. In late wintertime," Zero murmured, smiling wider at Ichiru's playful whining. He had to stop again to stop Ichiru swinging the bucket, and caught sight of his brother's loose shoelaces. "Stop. You'll trip," he said, kneeling down to tie them again._

_Ichiru swayed and had to plant his hands on Zero's bent shoulders to steady himself. He jiggled impatiently, causing Zero to laugh and poke his ankles to keep him still. _

_Then Ichiru stopped jiggling. Zero didn't think much of it at first, until he felt Ichiru's hands tighten on his shoulders._

"_Nii-chan, there's someone in the tree,"_

"_Is it Kaito-san?" Zero mumbled, tugging the laces securely. He didn't like it when Kaito climbed their tree, because he was too clumsy and cracked the little branches, "Tell him to-"_

"_There's someone in the tree,"_

_Zero froze. Ichiru's voice sounded like it was amplified and it vibrated through him, forcing him to look up. His jaw dropped. _

_A stunningly beautiful woman sat in the tree, cradled in the naked branches. Like Ichiru and Zero, her hair was white, but it was shinier and looked like it was spun from moonlight. She was clothed in a rich ebony kimono with silk, red trim. Zero squinted, seeing that the kimono was folded with the left side covered. A sign of mourning._

_But the most significant thing Zero noticed about the woman was her unnatural beauty, her perfect face. Even with her facing away from them, from her side profile he could see her dainty nose and pouty lips, flawless skin… the warning bells started ringing in his mind. His skin felt like it was tightening. He could remember the first things Yagari had taught him._

_Don't trust the unnatural._

_Don't trust a Vampire._

Vampire_…_

"_Ichiru, let's go," he whispered, standing slowly and fumbling around for Ichiru's hand, his eyes never leaving the woman, "Come,"_

_In his blind fumbling, he had forgotten the bucket, and by accident he knocked it against Ichiru. The bucket overbalanced and spilt all over Ichiru, the candle went out with a loud hiss._

_There was the sound of a bell jingling, as the woman turned her head, her pink eyes found them._

_Zero felt trapped in her gaze, but forced himself to tear away from it, grabbing Ichiru's hand and dragging him away. He considered going by the long other route, but the possibility flashed in his mind that they would be caught by her there – the alternate route was long and went much further around the grounds till it reached the house. She could catch them by then. If they went by the route they had first intended, they would have to walk past her, but it was more direct and they'd reach the house faster._

_He chose the shorter route. If she was going to kill them either way, at least this route was closer to home._

_But as they passed her, he could just feel the prickling sensation of her eyes on them – she didn't move, she didn't even leave the tree. She just watched them as they made their quite un-hasty escape. Zero counted them lucky that apparently the Vampire wasn't hungry enough for them yet. He hadn't even trained properly with anti-Vampire weapons yet, so he couldn't have defended them if they needed it. _

"_Come, Ichiru," he urged, tugging his brother along. Ichiru was still staring back at the woman, apparently transfixed by her unearthly beauty._

* * *

><p>The dream was coming to an end. Thankfully, over the years, this was the furthest the memory ever went. Zero had not yet had to experience that terrible night again so far. Usually he woke up by the time Ichiru and he arrived home. Perhaps it was his mind's own defence mechanism which blocked the memories off. He mentally relaxed as he watched the dream carry out with him dragging Ichiru to the house, to safety. That was the best end to the dream. He liked to pretend it ended there.<p>

But then he frowned. The dream was… was carrying _on_. He winced. It hadn't ever gotten further than them arriving home, being scolded by Yagari for losing the bucket and being sent up to bed early. Why was it continuing? Zero groaned, wanting to wake up. _Wake up_. Please. He whimpered, feeling the scene change to that night, when he had woken up. _No, no. Please. Wake up. __**Wake up…**_

* * *

><p><em>Zero's eyes opened. He sat up, wondering what had woken him. Looking at his clock, he saw it was one in the morning. Was it his mother and father arguing? When they got upset with each other, they tended to keep the arguments for late night time so he and Ichiru wouldn't have to watch. He glanced across his room, seeing Ichiru's empty bed. Ichiru had been sent to rest in the Infirmary, after the adults had seen him in his soaked clothes. They didn't want him to catch pneumonia, which he almost certainly would, so he was sent to sleep in the warmer rooms there. The moonlight cast on the empty bed was lonely, and Zero frowned, seeing the dark dots floating down on the bed, like the moon's version of dappled sunlight.<em>

_He stepped over to the window, eyes widening. Was it snowing? In _autumn_? Zero pressed his hands against the cold glass, peering at the white floating specks in the sky. No. It wasn't snow. The specks were too big and looked strange. He opened the window, holding his hand out. _

_It wasn't snow. It was blossoms. _

_Blossoms in autumn?_

_Zero rubbed the soft petals between his fingers, plucking them apart as per habit. He frowned, leaning out of the window to look outside. Where were these blossoms coming from? It…it didn't make sense. Zero felt the warning bells ring in his ears again, and felt the urge to leap out of his window and run – to run away from the house. _

_He could sense it. There was something wrong about this scene. He dropped the blossom._

_Zero turned to his door and opened it, shutting it behind him silently. For some reason, he felt like he had to stay quiet. Stay hidden. __**There's someone in the house**__._

_His eyes flickered over to a tall lamp on the side-table. After a moment's hesitation, he unplugged it and took it with him, creeping along the top landing towards the staircase. If his parents had been arguing, and that was what had woken him, where were they now? It was too quiet. He couldn't hear anybody. And the lights were off downstairs. Only the landing lights were on, like they always were. _

_Taking time to listen again for movements downstairs, he glanced at his parents' room. Should he check? He and Ichiru didn't usually enter their parents' room. It wasn't off-limits to them, but their father didn't really like it when they went inside. _

_But he needed to check. He had to see if they were there. _

_Zero tiptoed over to the door, leaning his small hand on the handle-_

_**- don't go in. God, **_**please**_**, wake up! Wake up -**_

_-and twisted it slowly, so the lock clicked smoothly. He pushed the door open then, peeking around the door. There were two lumps under the covers. Zero sighed in relief. They were there. They were alright. _

_Well then, he should go back to bed. Perhaps it had just been the strange blossoms passing through the moonlight which had strangely woken him up. He _was_ a notoriously light sleeper._

_But he wanted to check. He had to. Something still didn't sit well with him. Something smelt odd, and he needed to see what that was. Something was pulling him over to the side of the bed-_

_**- go back! Please, don't look. Turn back. Get back – **_

_- till he was on the left side, the side where his mother slept. Yes. It would be better to wake his mother first. She was always in a better mood waking up than their father. Maybe she would even invite Zero to sleep with them. After this strange night, he might like to sleep next with his parents, with their comforting bodies beside him. It all depended on whether they had forgiven him for getting Ichiru soaked yet. Zero pondered whether he should go back to bed. If they were still mad at him, he would most likely be lectured again. _

_But that odd smell… it was getting awfully strong. He remembered once smelling a strange smell when he had come to his parents' bed after having a nightmare, and his father shooing him away with a red face. This smell wasn't like that though. _

"_Mama," he called, reaching on his tiptoes to press a hand on his mother's back. She was lying on her side, facing away from him. "Mama, wake up,"_

_She felt awfully stiff under his fingers. Zero hesitated. Maybe she was awake and angry with him. When she was angry she would tense. Zero didn't like it when she was like that. She was meant to be soft and gentle. He prodded her again, more urgently. "Mama, please,"_

_But she wasn't moving. Was she giving him the cold shoulder? Zero whimpered slightly, clambering on top of the edge of the mattress so he could shake her properly. "Mama. Please, wake up," he said, hearing his voice tinged with panic. He whined lowly, pushing against her. If she was playing a game, like she sometimes liked to do, he was going to throw a tantrum!_

"_Mama, please!" he whimpered, finally deciding to turn her-_

_**- NO! Wake **_**up!**_** Don't, **__**please**__**! Oh god, stop it. Stop it-**_

_- over. But she was too heavy. Zero huffed, grabbing the edge of the quilt. Well, she was asking for it, wasn't she? He wrapped his little fingers around the plush quilt, scrunching his nose up at the strange smell-_

_**STOP**_

_- and dragged it bac-_

_Zero fell backwards. The stench hit him in the face, erupting from the sheets he had uncovered. His mother's back was drenched in red. He yelled, seeing the torn fabric of her nightdress, the bone-deep wounds on her sides. He couldn't find it in himself to turn her over, or to try to see if she was okay._

_She wasn't moving. She was-_

_Zero retched, tears pouring out of his eyes. Streaming down his face. He cried in anguish, howling for his mother, for his father – but if his mother was like this, his father must be too-_

_**Run.**_

_- so he didn't even try to go to his father's side. _

_Who had done this? His parents… who had ripped them apart like this? Were they killed in their sleep? Zero clapped his hands over his mouth to muffle his breathing, suddenly realising that he might not be alone. _

_What if the killer was still in the house?_

_What if they were still in the room?_

_His eyes strayed back to his mother's torn flesh, widening when they saw the shape of one of the wounds. _

_A semi-circular tear, a _**bite**_._

_Vampires!_

_Zero felt his hand turn dewy where his panicked breathing moistened his fingers, panting through his nose. To himself, his breathing sounded louder, but like Yagari had said – breathing through your mouth echoes through your throat. He had to stay quiet. He had to stay hidden._

_He blinked back tears when he realised something else – _

_Ichiru! He was on the other side of the house, in the Infirmary! Zero had to get to him. He cautiously picked his way through the room, shooting one last glance at his mother's uncovered, bloodied body. Ichiru. Oh god, what if Ichiru… no. Zero shook himself of those thoughts. He opened the door quietly, though his hands shook. He picked up the lamp where he had set it near the door, and edged towards the stairs-_

_**Don't. Get away. Get back.**_

**- wake up, wake up and stop it. Please! Please-**

_-stepping over the creaky floorboards, to get to the first step. Zero faltered when he reached the halfway staircase landing, where the light switch was. If he switched it on, it would alert the killer that he was there. But downstairs was pitch black. He couldn't see a thing._

_Then there was a click. The lights came on._

_There was a second switch in the front hall. The killer was in the front hall. _

_Zero held his breath, raising the lamp stand higher, so it brushed against his ear._

_He peered at the bottom of the stairs. The view from the landing was limited. He stayed close to the wall, rather than near the banister, where he would feel more exposed. From here, all he could see was the bottom of the stairs, a bit of the hallway and the doorway to the left, which lead towards the Infirmary. That was his target. He sucked in a shuddering breath. _

_He would have to be quick, racing down the stairs and swerving to the left, through the doorway. From there he would have to be silent and quick and pray the killer wouldn't get to him before he got to Ichiru. But what was the most discouraging fact was that Zero was almost _certain_ the killer would be there ready to get him. If the killer was already in the left room, or on the right side of the hallway (in his blindspot), he'd be caught before he got to the Infirmary._

_But Ichiru was waiting for him. He needed him. Even if he was scared, even if he knew there was a slim chance he would succeed in getting to him. He was his big brother. He had to protect him, no matter what._

_Zero eyed the passageway, the sharp turn he'd have to make. The bottom of the stairs was a good few yards away, but Yagari had trained him how to jump and land properly, how to be agile and use every muscle and the barest limits of his flexibility to spring like a coil. He braced himself, and then he leapt._

_Zero hit the floor with a loud thud, which seemed to incite the thundering beating of his pulse in his ears. Blood rushed to his face, and he stumbled, before finding his footing. The lamp stand had knocked against his neck, nicking the skin. At that moment, a paralyzing fear shot through his spine. He suddenly knew things had gotten worse._

_Tripping over his own feet, he sprinted through the doorway, the only thought in his had now was to move as fast as he could. There was no hope in hiding, he knew the killer was right at his heels. _

_And all of a sudden, he found himself flying across the room. Thrown by an invisible force, he hit the wall with a deafening _crash!_ The picture frames fell to the floor, shattering the glass, and books on the shelves also fell everywhere. The wind was knocked from his lungs, and Zero struggled for air, beating his legs against the wall as he was dragged up by the force. He was stuck to the wall, like a fly stuck to a spider's web. Any struggling he did made no difference. He was stuck._

_**Open your eyes. Stop this. Wake-**_

_And the woman was there. The one from the plum tree. A smattering of blood stained the front of her now white kimono, and her lips were rouged in the same dripping red._

_Blossoms whirled around them, brushing teasingly against Zero's cheeks and sticking to his face where the tear tracks were. _

"…_boys…there were two of you,"_

_Zero shook his head, feeling the blood swirl dizzyingly around his brain. He whimpered as the invisible hold on him tightened. "There's me. There's only me,"_

_The woman opened her mouth, and Zero felt sick. Her teeth were stained red. She snapped her mouth shut though, her lips tightened as she hummed. Zero felt very small all of a sudden. He was hanging on the wall, several feet in the air, with her looking up at him – yet he felt small, childish. She was dazzling, even when she looked half-mad and terrifying like this. _

_She stepped towards him, silently. Zero craned his head, trying to see what she was doing. She was barefoot, but then a tiny bell in her hair-pin jangled. She nodded._

"_Then… you will be the last,"_

_The last? Zero tensed as she neared him, and his breath quickened again as her slender hand was pressed on his stomach._

_The last._

_It hit Zero – she was going to kill him. _

_He was going to die now. _

_Zero screamed, seeing her mouth drop open, red fangs glistening –_

_**No, no, NO. STOP! RUN!**_

_- the pain at first didn't register, her fangs slid into his neck smoothly. It felt cold, like a doctor's injection. But then scorching hot liquid filled his neck. Zero yelped loudly, not understanding a thing. Wasn't she drinking from him? Wasn't she eating him? What was this thing that burned his blood?_

_But as well as the hot liquid filling his veins, Zero felt the icy coldness of death lingering as his blood _was_ leaking out of him. It poured out of him, gushing out of his body. She ripped her fangs from him, tearing his neck open. Zero's throat was hoarse now, and he felt pain in his lips – an indescribable pain throbbing in his jaws. He roared in agony as she dug her fingers into his neck wounds, keeping them open, and letting the blood drain out of him._

_With bleary, unfocused eyes, he looked up to her face, freezing when he saw that it was not her standing there anymore. _

_It was…_

_**Kaname**__. Staring at him with such a grief-stricken expression, and then Zero realised – he was lying on his back. He was in the mountain Pass, where the spongy grassy smell mingled with the smell of his own blood. _

_Blossoms still hung in the air, floating down like snow, but as they came close to him and landed, they suddenly transformed into roses. Delicate purple roses. A few brushed his nose on their way down. One even landed on his raw neck, soothing the wound with its refreshing soft, coolness. Zero's eyes were on Kaname though, disbelievingly observing his blood-dripping lips. He had…he had drunk from him…_

_Zero suddenly realised, he was no longer a small child. He wasn't even in his body anymore – it was obvious, that he was in _Isamu's _place. He shivered under Kaname, watching him take his hand, lacing their fingers together. _

_Even though Kaname was dripping with his blood, and it seemed like he had fed from him, like Shizuka, Zero oddly felt _safe_. Even though he felt dizzy and cold, close to death, he felt peaceful too. Grateful even, that Kaname had intervened, had taken him away from that horrible scene. Kaname smiled, as though he could read Zero's thoughts. As if he could see his fears dissipate. _

_Kaname lifted his limp hand to his lips – _

_- __**Shizuka lifted her hand to his lips, in it was a pool of her own blood she had bled. She pulled his mouth open and dripped the blood onto his tongue. The iron taste made Zero gag, but his throat was forcibly loosened so it dripped down, plunging into his stomach and turning it molten –**_

_- and kissed his fingertips. If he could, Zero would have blushed at the intimacy of this action. Didn't Kaname know he was _Zero_, not Isamu? But Kaname's eyes were trained on him regardless, tender and apologetic. _

_Zero opened his mouth, feeling his appreciation spread to his throbbing lips, "Thank you," he breathed. For saving him, for being here now… the words simultaneously were mouthed by Kaname. _Thank you_, Kaname mouthed with Zero, holding his hand in both of his._

_The intensity of his gaze almost distracted Zero from the present he had pressed into his hand, but he caught sight of it. A purple rose was cradled in his palm, its milky lilac petals were dripping, dripping in __**blood**__. _

* * *

><p>Kaname woke when Zero did, because a hand suddenly landed on his face.<p>

He opened his eyes, finding Zero's knuckles pressed to his lips. He darted backwards in shock, groaning in surprise at the horrible crick in his neck, and the strain in his back. A tutting sound came from the corner of the room, where he found the doctor looking at him in disapproval.

"Kuran-sama was sleeping in a very bad position, and it has caused pain to his back,"

"It has," he croaked, leaning backwards with his hands on his spine. There were a few satisfying cracks, but overall, his back muscles protested to their treatment and felt tight. Kaname cracked his neck on either side and then turned back to Zero. He saw the hand that had been on his face twitch, and immediately motioned the doctor over.

Kaname again made to take Zero's hand, but then chose to stand his hand next to Zero's, using it to lean on. Was Zero waking? A quick glance at his watch showed Kaname that he had slept for a good five hours, and he felt immensely rested.

And then, he felt Zero's fingers brush his. A little thrill travelled up Kaname's arm, like an electric shock. He stared down, mesmerized by Zero's frail, shaky fingers tangling up in his. He chose to let their fingers slide over each other, until they laced together loosely.

When his eyes met Zero's half-lidded ones, he found himself smiling already. Zero's lilac eyes were slowly focusing on him, clearing and brightening with recognition. To Kaname's pleasant surprise, he found Zero's mouth quirk in a tiny smile, so small it was almost imperceptible.

Not only that, he felt Zero's fingers twitch against his. He was aware that they were holding hands. Kaname's face coloured slightly, finding himself suddenly unable to face Zero. How many times had he been hoping to hold his hand? Now that he was, he was…

He was happy.

Zero nudged his hand, squeezing lightly to get his attention.

Kaname lifted his head, catching one last glance of Zero's eyes, before he closed his eyes, the tiny smile still present on his face. He heard Zero whisper only one, before he again fell asleep.

"_Thank you,"_

* * *

><p><strong><em>Extra Author's note:<em>**

**K, guys. if this chapter is a bit confusing, i want to explain it quickly:**

**zero is asleep, he's dreaming. the events in italics are the dream. parts of the dream are true memories from his past, but they swirl together - i mean, shizuka turned into _kaname_ when she bit zero. its all kind of... weird and loopy. **

**in reality, im going by zero's true past - shizuka bit him and turned him. he's just merged two memories together.**


	60. How We Might Kill

**Author's note:**

**GUYSGUYSGUYS I'm SO SORRY THERE'S BEEN A DELAAAY!**

**My cousin came over, so I had to be a good host etc. and not hide away in my room typing for hours… XD BUT I SNUCK AWAY AND TYPED THIS.**

**It's really good I was told to change the rating to M. **

**Things are hotting up sorta, plus the gore, plus some funny/dirty jokes I'm adding, so I guessss…. Not appropriate for younger readers? XD**

**Btw, last chappie was a DREAM, not a proper flashback. I mean, it was a memory, but then Shizuka changed into Kaname, so WTF? Zero's imagination people. **

* * *

><p><strong><em>"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure."<em>**

**_~ Marianne Williamson_**

* * *

><p>"Kaname-sama's calling for us!"<p>

There was a grunt, and the figure on the bed twitched.

Aidou huffed, puffing his cheeks in frustration. Sure, Kain deserved sleep – after all, he'd taken the second round of the rota on Shiki before Kaname came to cage him. He'd had the least amount of sleep amongst the cousins. But when Aidou _demanded_ for him to wake, he _should_. He gave the bed an almighty kick, swearing loudly from the painful impact.

"Get up, you fat- fat…" Aidou pouted, finding his head empty of appropriate insults. "_…fat…"_

"…Keep going,"

Kain smirked under the covers when he heard Aidou's growl, and then felt his cousin leap on top of him, shaking the mattress madly with his bouncing. He was shaken roughly, and tried throwing the covers off of Kain, but they were held in a tight grip. Eventually Aidou gave up, flopping down on top of Kain in an attempt to smother him with his "dead weight". What a pathetic dead weight he was. So light that Kain barely had to put any effort into flipping them over, trapping him underneath his larger body so easily.

This routine was so common between them that Aidou had been expecting, even _wanting_ it, and began to laugh as Kain flopped onto him. For some reason, Aidou loved routine. He loved having the comfort of _knowing_ with Kain. Knowing how he would react to things, how he liked and disliked things, how they worked so well _together_.

The warm weight on top of him wasn't suffocating, but spread evenly on top of him, caging him in with Kain's long, long limbs. He was pressed into the mattress comfortably, and put up a little struggle for the sake of it, grappling with the covers.

Perhaps it wasn't ideal to play around like little children during a time when they should be acting seriously. It was wartime, was it really appropriate to play and have fun? Aidou didn't know, and he found himself uncaring as to what was _appropriate_. He wanted to have fun. He wanted to relax and play around, and be childish with his best friend. He wanted some relief from all the gloom they'd been suffering from.

"Uncle!" he cried, laughing as Kain's flushed face appeared out of the mountain of lumpy quilt they had built. He squealed when Kain grasped him by the waist.

"Uncle who? My father? He's in China right now, Hana-"

"Fuck, get off me!" he howled, writhing under Kain's legs.

Kain chortled, poking Aidou's arm with fiery fingers as they went into an all-out poke-war, fighting for breath from laughing too much. He knew they were really over-acting, but the laughter was better than the fear he'd seen on Aidou's face before. He wanted Aidou always smiling.

Kain straddled Aidou to get a better hold of him, sitting on his stomach and teasingly lowering _his_ dead weight on Aidou. Now, _Kain_ had a considerable amount of weight in comparison to puny _Aidou_. He could squash him like a bug on a windshield. Kain snorted at the thought of that, and dropped down lower, hearing the whoosh of air leave Aidou.

With this, Aidou renewed his wriggling, poking icy fingers at Kain's chest and shoulders. His eyes sparked when Kain squeezed him in warning, thinking this meant he was winning. They were both panting now, breathless with laughter. Aidou was sent into another peal of laughter when he saw how _flaming red_ Kain's face had gotten, and that he had stopped poking him all of a sudden.

"Ha- Hana, stop!" he cried, but Aidou just sniggered evilly, squirming all the more, watching Kain's red face darken more. "…Ha…_Hana_," he groaned.

And that.

_That_, was when Aidou realised something was different about Kain's face.

He was red-faced, but his _eyes were dilated_, and he was trying to bite his lip whilst panting, which resulted in him looking like he was chewing off his own lip. _His eyes were dilated_. Aidou frowned, pouting and shifting a little to free one of his arms so he could check Kain's forehead. He hadn't noticed how much Kain was burning up until now, when the heat began to seep into the quilt.

As he moved, he heard Kain let out a loud hiss, and his face almost looked pained.

Aidou scowled, "Kat? Akatsuki, let me up. Something's wrong-"

"Don't move,"

"Whaat? Why-"

And then when he moved, he felt it.

Kain squeezed his eyes shut so he wouldn't have to see his cousin's face when he realised what exactly was happening. He hadn't anticipated it. They were just playing around, but then he had stupidly straddled him, and Aidou wouldn't stop wriggling, and then…and then… he wanted to _hide_. He wanted to curl up and hide under the covers. _God, _it was so embarrassing. He covered his face with his hands.

"Oh…_oh_," Aidou felt his own cheeks flare up. He sucked in his gut, as though that would put a larger space between them. Kain nodded quickly, swinging off the bed with another loud hiss of pain. Aidou watched him sit for a few moments with his back towards him, hunched over and muttering nonsensical curses under his breath. He made to reach for him, but the tall boy stood then, stepping away from the bed.

The space between them, the silence of the room – it was so awkward that Aidou felt slightly nauseous, watching Kain just standing there with his back turned to him.

He cleared his throat, hearing Kain sputter mid-rant, jumping in shock. A very red face quickly glanced over a hunched shoulder – he looked like he was more _afraid_ of Aidou than anything, though his face was an angry fire truck red. Miraculously, it made a giggle burst out of Aidou, he covered his mouth in a half-hearted effort to muffle his laughter, but the damage was done.

Poor Kain shuffled to the bathroom door, flipping his finger at Aidou as he left.

This made him laugh even harder, rolling in the mess of bedsheets. He cupped his mouth, calling loudly, "I guess this really means you're _up_!"

* * *

><p>Kaname gathered everyone to the Infirmary as soon as Zero next awoke and was well enough to stay awake. It was becoming an irritating catchphrase which ran through his mind, but: <em>time is of the essence.<em> He wanted nothing more than to let Zero fully rest and recover (after properly awaking, he was very out of it, even though he hadn't been really introduced to any medication which could incite hallucinations or anything like that. He kept glancing at his hands), he also knew that he would beat Kaname silly (or _try _to) if he was knew he was being left out of loop. He remembered that breakfast where Zero found out they'd been keeping Rido's reappearance a secret from him, and when he'd fought with Kaname after being told about the Bond… keeping information from Zero was not a good thing to do. He tended to react very badly to it.

Anyway, Kaname gathered everyone around Zero's bed. He noted Takuma and Rima's glum exteriors, carefully concealed under neutral masks. He appreciated their composure, but worried about the situation with Shiki – it was clearly taking its toll on them. The grudge they may bear against him… it worried him that they might harbour more than ill feelings towards him before the end of the war was through.

His eyes swept across Kain and Aidou, who both looked odd as usual – one was red-faced, the other kept chewing on his cheek, like he was trying to suppress a smile. Ruka also was watching them with a rather bored expression. Who knew what those two got up to? They were always messing around. Kaname just hoped that whatever they had done wasn't _too_ bad, or at least, it wouldn't require any punishment.

Yuuki wasn't present, but she'd had a particularly rough time getting over the torture she'd witnessed. The doctor kept an eye on her, even though she didn't look like she could harm a fly in her current state – dull-eyed and mostly unresponsive. She'd smiled brightly when she saw Zero wake, but after that, she seemed to recede into a shell. This behaviour worried Kaname. He had no idea what Yuuki had seen, though knowing Rido, he must have done unspeakable things to Kasumi – that little girl who'd been Awoken for leverage over Nori. Or was she just Awoken so Rido had something to play with in his spare time?

Kaname finally cleared his throat, drawing all eyes to him once more.

"Last night, Rido attacked us through Shiki on the very same day when he has formally declared war on us. He is moving with twice the speed we anticipated, and with multiple targets in mind. We know now that he will attack us from the inside, from Shiki," he glanced at Takuma, "with whom he will use as a puppet to get to Zero. Zero is one of his main targets, and if we drop our guard like before, he _will_ be killed," Kaname met Zero's blank stare, "As well as this, he will be fighting us from the outside to weaken our forces. On top of _this_, he will be targeting the Humans – we cannot allow this, because he could be aiming to change them to Level Es. Already he has surpassed our number of soldiers, and we cannot let him to grow any stronger.

"For this reason, I am sending you each to different areas to protect. I trust you all immeasurably and depend on you to lead where I cannot,"

To each one of them, the memory resurfaced where Kaname had almost broken down, dropping on them the weight of the responsibility he had had to bear for so long – at the end of all things, he couldn't kill Rido. He, who they all depended on and turned to, was weaker than all of them when it came to their greatest enemy. The shiver of lost security, helplessness shot through all of them. But they all forced the trembling fear down and met Kaname's stare with determination in their eyes. How could they fail him, when he had never failed them?

"Kain, Aidou," he called, seeing them straighten, "One of you must go to the barracks and lead the troops,"

"One of us?" Aidou asked, glancing at Kain's rather surprised expression.

Kaname nodded, "Much as I agree that you both work incredibly well together, I am only sending two people there. One of them must be Takuma," he said quietly, catching Takuma nod gravely from the corner of his eye, "He's been stuck in the castle for too long,"

Aidou and Kain shared a look, each of them reluctant to separate, but knowing some things must be done, regardless of how much they hated it. It was at this moment that Aidou appreciated a little of what Takuma must be feeling. Having the one person you always have taken away from you – they weren't even apart yet, but he was already anticipating the loss.

"I will go," Aidou said, stepping slightly away towards Takuma. It was an effort not to look at Kain, but he knew that if he didn't move or speak fast, it would be Kain who went. Kain who was still quite tired and wouldn't have his wits about him as much, whose reactions wouldn't be as fast – little things like these could be the decider between life and death in a battle.

"No, wai-"

"Kain, I want you and Rima here, in the castle," Kaname spoke, cutting Kain off mid-speech, "Aidou, Takuma, I want you two to arrange the patrols as soon as you reach the barracks. Seiren will be there, and she'll give you all the details of their training so far. You'll be staying there until the Hunters arrive, then re-organise them, send them out. You will rotate between patrol shifts and keep an eye _outwards_. Looking inwards - protecting the _castle -_ will be Kain and Rima's job. _You_ both have to be ready to alert us if there is a breach in the Border, and be ready to send out aid to the Humans if necessary,"

"Hai," Aidou said again, turning to Takuma, "Shall we go?"

Takuma nodded, and they passed Kaname quickly, leaving the room in silence. Kaname eyed Kain's peeved expression warily, knowing that although it was in Kain's nature to be calm and collected (in contrast to his spitfire, energetic cousin), Kain was just as easy to anger. They were almost never apart, so Kaname couldn't predict how Kain would act without Aidou. He hadn't known that Takuma would become so quiet and docile without Shiki (not that he was rebellious at all, but Kaname enjoyed that Takuma wasn't so _afraid_ of him before. He was never afraid to tell Kaname where he went wrong. Now he hardly spoke to him at all).

"Kain, you and Rima need to keep the defences up at the castle. Keep an eye on Shiki, and I want you working with Zero too," he said, eyes finally falling on the boy whose body was still wrapped like a mummy. Kaname suppressed a grimace at the thought of ordering Zero to do something, but he could already tell that Zero for once would agree to do it, not wanting to be left doing nothing at all. "Though last night was… unpleasant, to say the least, it has provided us with good information,"

Zero snorted, "Oh yeah? We didn't know Rido wanted to kill me before, did we?"

Kaname's lips thinned though, and he rocked on his heels, "Rido gave us information unknowingly. It isn't good news, but at least we have a basis to build our plans on, on how we're going to defeat him.

"He told us that "_she _lives". The person he is referring to is an Ancestor known to everyone as _**Lady**_,"

Zero froze upon hearing that name, as did Kain. To Zero, the Memories swirled in his mind in a crazy storm-like madness, and he struggled to understand how she could _live_ when he remembered her bloody sacrifice so clearly in his mind. To Kain, he merely mulled over the mention of _Lady_, because he could remember in the library, Aidou mentioning reading about her in the Hunter tomes.

"How can that be true?" Zero breathed. Kaname's expression turned even grimmer.

"Lady was the Ancestor whose flesh the Humans ate to become Hunters. She gave her blood to them to drink, and gave her heart to forge their weapons. In a way, she will live forever in every Hunter and every Anti-Vampire Weapon in existence. She lives on.

"However, the way that Rido spoke about her suggests that he believes much further into this theory. We cannot forget that Rido is a descendent of _both_ Katsuo and Lady, just like us Kurans. But I believe that the influence of Katsuo has consumed his mind. He is quite literally mad, and thinks that Lady is still _alive_. From this information, I can reflect on the motivation of the last War, where he sought Yuuki.

"I knew Lady," Kaname said, and they were again reminded of the fact that he was in fact an Ancestor too, "I know what she looked like, and now that I think on it, her physical resemblance to Yuuki – and even _Juri _when she_ lived – _is quite significant. If I try to think like Rido does, I can see how surreal it must have been to see her. If Katsuo was using Rido – through his eyes it must have been a miracle to see her again, and he became obsessed with having her again,"

Kaname closed his eyes, trapping his emotions behind his stoic mask once more, "But she wasn't _her_. She wasn't the same, and it wasn't enough,"

"That's why Rido's given up on Yuuki-hime," Rima muttered, finding Kaname nodding at her suggestion.

"But why then is he looking for _me_?" Zero whispered, barely able to form the question. Kaname turned his beautifully soulful eyes on him.

"Because, he thinks she lives on in _**you**_,"

* * *

><p>"That doesn't make sense!"<p>

Zero's heart monitor was beating itself into a fit. A few nurses peeked their heads into the room, but left when Kaname shooed them away.

"It's only a speculation. I didn't mean anything by it," Kaname said quickly, though his eyes shot a secret message to only Zero – _We'll speak about this later_. "Anyway, that isn't the only thing Rido revealed last night. He also said that "_she will never hurt me"_. If what he says is true, then we must think about the other portion of Lady which lives on,"

"The Weapons…" Kain breathed, remembering what Aidou had said, and now what Kaname had also repeated. It was the Weapons made out of her heart.

"Yes. There is a reason why Yuuki and I can touch Anti-Vampire Weapons without being hurt. They carry a part of her in them, and because she recognises us, she will not allow them to hurt us. In a similar way, they recognise Katsuo in Rido the most. As he is her lover, she cannot kill him,"

"Are you saying the Weapons won't work at _all_ on Rido?" Zero asked incredulously, "Because that is a load of _bull_. How the hell are we meant to stop him without them? _**Is **_there another way to kill Purebloods without them?"

"Purebloods can kill Purebloods," Rima whispered.

The potential answer hung in the air: _Yuuki_…

"Yuuki will _not_ be fighting with Rido. Not again," Kaname snapped, "She has been through enough. And in any case, she is not strong enough – she's being trained, but she hasn't mastered the skill required to kill a strong power like Rido,"

"Then there's only _you_, but you can't,"

"True. As he is my Master, I cannot kill him. In a sense, we have come to an impasse,"

"An impasse?" Zero laughed unsmilingly, "This isn't an impasse, Kaname. This is a failure – we've lost, and we're not even able to fight back!"

"That isn't true, not yet anyhow. There are rumours… legends of weapons created by Purebloods long ago which were designed to kill Purebloods themselves,"

"Why on earth would they make those?" Kain asked, thinking on what rumours he was mentioning. Those legends were often said to be the makings of evil Purebloods who wanted world domination. Even Purebloods could be condemned for killing their own kind. They created those weapons in the hopes that they could control other Purebloods into submission – it was therefore, not hard to imagine that they would be involved with Kaname and Rido, but it wasn't by _this_ way that Kain imagined them being used. Kaname was not evil, but if he was using _them_…

"In Ancient days, the Purebloods became paranoid from losing their power as their blood lines diluted. They also saw this as an opportunity for them to kill other clans to establish themselves as the remaining authoritative powers. So they created weapons which Purebloods could die from as a means of defence against opportunistic clans – though they made the weapons out of the guise that they were precautionary for the use by lower vampires, if the Purebloods ever went out of control. This was not what they were used for. Many Pureblood Ancestors annihilated rival clans using these weapons, but after some time they fell out of fashion. As the Council created the new laws that banned any Pureblood from harm, they disappeared completely.

"They still remain, however, and I think that if we can find one, one of you could potentially use it to kill Rido-"

"But you say they disappeared, so how will we know where to look?" Zero cut in, finding Kaname's piercing gaze centred on him again.

"The Kuran clan was not exempt from creating the weapons. There may be some in the castle, on the grounds, there are _many_ places where they could be,"

"So where do we start?"

"We start at the beginning – at _her_ grave. She was one of the first Purebloods to create these types of weapons. It may be surprise to you to know her secretive nature, but Lady was always afraid of losing her power to someone greater – someone who could use her for her power, and control her,"

Zero bowed his head – finally understanding some of what Lady's intentions had been.

…_someone who could use her for her power, and control her…_

Lady feared the one she loved the most, because he could so easily use her and control her, and because she was in love with him, she could not fight back.

She did not _want _to fight back. Even if he was using her, she could not see past her love for him.

But she made a weapon to kill him, if he ever got too far.

"Katsuo,"


	61. Find Yourself

**Author's note:**

**Hello everyone, I just wanted to say something.**

**I realise that having a four-day gap of no updates was pretty disappointing to all of you, after a norm of having daily updates. I hate to disappoint you all, I hope you know that. It really gets me down to see you all asking for updates when I haven't been as reliable.**

**But the fact is – on top of this episode where my cousin came over, I have ****work**** to do. I might not be able to do it **_**daily**_** or even for two days, so this is a warning to you daily-update-lovers. **

**I'm going to disappoint you.**

**And I'm really sorry about that. I just wonder… were many of you assuming that my holiday was free (I'm not saying this to berate you! Maybe my daily updates implied I had too much free time… XP )? I really started this story on a boost of inspiration, not that that inspiration is **_**waning**_** at all – don't worry about that. There's no way this story will go on hiatus!**

**It's just that, because I've spent a lot of time so far prioritising this story (bcos this is my holiday, and I ****enjoy**** writing, damn it!), I've really procrastinated on… pretty much everything else ^^"**

**Well, by "everything else" I mean schoolwork, music practice, coursework, etc.**

**So I have to get a move on and ****do**** the work. If that slows me down, you'll have to forgive me, and understand the cruel, unfair labour known as "school" forces me to keep you waiting. **

**Extra note:**

**Hello Darkemi! My goodness, you don't like yaoi? What are you doing here! (not that I want you to go away) Well, I am flattered that you enjoy this story nonetheless ^^ very sweet of you to say so. **

**Yaoi-fans – **_**CONVERT DARKEMIII TO YAOI-ISM! **_**Lol, I joke, I joke XD**

* * *

><p><em><strong>What's done, can't be undone<strong>_

_**~ William Shakespeare**_

* * *

><p>At her grave, where Lady was buried… Kaname hadn't mentioned where it was, but he took one glance at Zero, and then grabbed Kain, calling behind them as they left that they would check the grave quickly (fast enough that Zero couldn't even yell in protest). Rima was left to guard Zero and Yuuki.<p>

Kain was being dragged at Pureblood speeds, his head spinning and mouth agape as he for the first time experienced the terrifying speed at which they could travel. Maybe this was one of the reasons why Purebloods were so feared – they moved so fast that you could barely see them. You could _sense_ them, in all their overpowering Pureblood aura, but you couldn't _see_ them.

All he could see at first was that the corridors they were hurtling down were getting narrower and darker, much like at the Hanadagi's. This told Kain that somehow, they were going further into the ground – into the cellars or something like that. Kaname had said that they were going to Lady's grave… was she somewhere under the castle?

The air grew damp and musty, and the ground was flagged with hard stone paves (which made it even more difficult to run at the speed they were going) which dipped in the middle of the tunnel-like corridors. Their feet slapped against the water of the puddles pooling in the centre, so much that both of Kain's trouser legs were plastered to his skin by the water.

Kain coughed, choking on the stench of the waterlogged soil. Roots hung from some parts of the ceiling, stringy and wet, whipping the sides of his face. The humidity and warmth from being far underground clogged up his lungs with each breath.

Even though Kain considered himself quite used to the castle and all its nooks and crannies, he had never been so deep or far into the recesses _underground_. He had heard, like any other Noble child, the rumours that the Purebloods built their castles on the land where their Ancestors lived, to hide their greatest secrets from the world, under the protection of walls of thick stone. Had he tried to find evidence of this in his childhood? Of course he had. He and Aidou had often snuck away from the playgroup (with Ruka distracting Kaname by being _clingy_ and _infatuated_…) and delved into the secret passageways, the hidden corridors and hidden doors that littered the Kuran castle. There were far more than you would have thought, and some of the "secret passageways" were so obvious, that they thought they might just be _actual_ corridors that no one really went into.

There was a moment when Kain's attention was drawn from his musings, and he felt, almost a slap in the face, of powerful auras. It was like there were multiple Purebloods surrounding him, their unbearable powers weighing down on him. He held back a yell of pain as he stumbled over a pavement, tripping over the edges of a jutting stone as his knees began to buckle, but Kaname swiftly jerked him back upright. This instilled some comfort into him, and Kain allowed himself to straighten back up, even against the unseen Purebloods he could sense. If Kaname was telling him to be brave, that there was nothing to fear – he would believe him. He let himself slip into his previous thoughts, with the knowledge that they were alright.

With the opportunity of exploring some of the best-known "Pureblood rumours" at his childish fingertips those many years ago, it was obvious that Kain had tried to solve them. But he had never been _shown_ the secrets of the Purebloods first-hand by _Kaname_ – it had been a secret Aidou and he had kept from Kaname, fearing he would get angry at their meddlesome snooping. He felt half giddy in excitement, half-guilty that he was seeing this without his partner in crime, and a little bit apprehensive as the route they were taking began to snake. The sharp turns sent him reeling to the opposite side with each change in direction, so hard that his arm felt like it was going to be ripped off. He yelled as they came to a sudden stop, crashing into Kaname's unyielding back.

It was like hitting a rock wall, going at forty miles per hour.

Kain crumpled to the floor with a groan, rubbing his chin where it had crashed into Kaname's head, and his shoulder where his arm socket was throbbing. He felt his leader quickly lift him back onto his feet, and gave a wince in the place of a thankful grin. How on earth did he cope with running at such speeds, and then _stopping_ so suddenly? Kain felt like the world wouldn't stop shaking – not spinning – _shaking_. He could almost imagine he looked like one of those cartoons, where their eyeballs were trembling in light-headedness.

He brushed off himself, making a face at the wetness of his trouser legs, which stuck to his legs uncomfortably. He quickly heated his legs up, feeling the steam oozing out of the cloth pores.

"So, boss, where are we then?" he chirped, peering through the darkness at Kaname's back. When he turned, only his wine-red pupils and the whites of his eyes were visible in the shadows.

"We are at the bottom passage of Kuran castle, just below the crypt,"

The crypt…_of course_. The crypt of the Kurans – that was where the Pureblood auras had emanated from. The numerous corpses of the generations of Kurans were buried _just above his head_. Though they were fully dead (why else would they be buried in a crypt? The Hanadagi's were in _chambers_ for their hibernation. The difference was slight, but crucial), their auras would continue to emit forever – in this way, they would be forever respected.

It only occurred to Kain right then, how much Kaname must trust him to show him this far into the Kurans' secrets. Despite the fact that they were at a crisis where it was almost inevitable that their mysterious leader would have to reveal some long-hidden secrets from them, the fact that he did so with barely any fuss – he didn't force Kain to swear to secrecy, to pledge a blood-allegiance – it was such an honour, but one that Kaname felt needed no remark made about. Perhaps he simply assumed that Kain knew how much he was trusted. He felt a sudden swell of pride, and sucked in a breath to compensate the overwhelming appreciation he felt for his leader.

"This passage leads directly to the Hunters' Headquarters, only a few miles away. It is the most direct route between us and them," What would take half a day to reach the HQ would only take a few _minutes _by Kaname's speed.

"Why is there an underground passage?"

"We built it after the last War to provide another route, in case either of us is in need of back-up. Are you ready?" Kaname asked kindly, wrapping his fingers around Kain's wrist. Kain held up his hand, silently asking for a moment to still the contents of his stomach, which Kaname allowed him. He probably knew how nauseating it was for _non-_Purebloods to travel at his speed.

Kain felt Kaname come up beside him, patiently waiting for his friend to recover.

"The next trip will only take a couple of minutes, Kain,"

Kain nodded, biting his lips as he tried not to think of how fast they were going to go again. His stomach whined in disapproval. Audibly. Kaname blinked.

"Are you alright? If you want I can-"

Kain jumped when he found Kaname's face pressed close to him, sniffing insistently. He backed off uncertainly, but Kaname held tightly to his wrist. As far as he could see, Kaname didn't look angry or frightened. He looked perplexed, and then his lips quirked – _oh __**shit**__, not _that_ face_ – and his expression became amused.

Kain tried to think what Kaname smelt – his nose was far superior to Kain's, but he still sniffed himself too. What did he smell of? Filthy wet muck from the puddles, spiced cologne, soap – _soap_, lots of so- _oh __**shit**__. _There was still the smell of…

"My, my," Kaname's eyes twinkled with amusement, "When did you…"

His face burnt with mortification. After that _encounter_ with Aidou, he'd went to "sort it out" and quickly showered in record time, just before following the _still_ giggling ice-master to the Infirmary.

Clearly he hadn't washed enough. Or at least, the smell still clung to his clothes (which he hadn't had time to change). Kain was glad they were in a dark place, where even by Kaname's wonderful sight, he wouldn't see the true extent of Kain's painful blush.

"Well, never mind. As I was saying – if you want, I can carry you," Kaname offered, tactfully wiping his face clean of hilarity, though his laughter still shone in his eyes. "You can close your eyes. I can travel much faster and we'll be there much faster,"

Kain balked, staring _down _at his leader. He wanted to carry him? He wasn't taller than Kaname by much, but he was also broader than Kaname, to match the frame of his height. Kain knew that Kaname was definitely physically stronger than him, but the idea… suddenly he could sympathise with Zero's reluctance (read: outright abhorrence) at being carried. _Especially_ by someone like Kaname.

Still, he forced himself to loop his arms over Kaname's shoulders and did a silly little hop so Kaname could catch his knees, so his body was folded over Kaname's.

It felt kind of…ridiculous.

They shuffled awkwardly, finding it difficult to balance themselves appropriately.

"Don't get too excited, Kain," he heard Kaname murmur, and cursed inwardly. Would he ever live it down now? Aidou was surely going to tease him mercilessly for the rest of his life, but he'd never anticipated Kaname would get in on the ribbing. He grunted in response, scowling at Kaname's chuckle.

He shut his eyes when Kaname suddenly launched forwards, clinging onto his shoulders for dear life when he felt like he'd lost his stomach a good hundred yards back.

Meanwhile, he found his mind idiotically traipsing back to only about half an hour back, to the "incident". Kain had never wished so bad that he could wipe his friends' memories – particularly Aidou – without gaining a guilty conscience. Those short moments with Aidou trapped under him…

_Aidou's face was rosy-cheeked, eyes sparkling like fucking __**stars**__ they were so bright and beautiful. Clouds of sweet breath misted on his face, gusting in heavy moist breaths from his glossy-red lips, puckered in a perpetual pout. Everything about Aidou was so bright, and even though he was not the fire-master, he boiled Kain's blood. A flash of white teeth, the teasing glimpse of pointed fangs. He writhed _deliciously_ underneath him, each movement rubbing friction __**hot**__ against him. He was too innocent, too unaware of how attractive he was under him, laid out. Every __**ice**__-cold finger that poked Kain shot tingles up his spine that made him want to whimper, to hiss, to pant in pleasure at the delightful sizzle his cool fingers made against his fiery __**hot skin-**_

Kain shook his head urgently, gasping at the remnants of the cold tingles still shooting up his spine. He grappled at the air to find Kaname's shoulders again as they slipped out of grip, finding his body unresponsive after the residual memory held it in a fierce grip still. Finding a _completely different_ tingle, this which was hot like **lava **in his veins, shooting down south-

_**Don't get too excited, Kain**_.

He forced himself to think of drowning puppies, his mother in lingerie, _Rido _in a thong- yep, that did it. Kain urged his body to ignore the sparks shooting stubbornly through it still.

But his body was still slow to cool down, and he found his hands sweating like crazy, nervous over if Kaname would notice, "_Shit_," he groaned, squeezing his eyes shut tightly.

"It's alright," Kaname called to him, misunderstanding his cursing for queasiness, "We're almost… _there_," drawing to another sudden stop, which slammed Kain's forgotten stomach right back into him.

He slithered down Kaname's back, collapsing into a pathetic heap on the floor. Kain clutched his wet knees – nauseated by the realisation of some unearthed, _strange_ feelings he'd uncovered for Aidou (or at least the _feeling_ of Aidou…); the molten lava-hot blood swirling towards _down there_ which contrasted (wonderfully) with the imaginary cold sparks shooting across his skin; and finally, the light-headed dizziness from travelling at speeds _no vampire should travel at_.

Kaname jumped over him nimbly as he quickly crawled over to the side of the tunnel, and emptied his stomach onto the side.

* * *

><p>"Ridiculous!"<p>

Zero growled, fixing a glare on the only other person in the room – Rima. The girl wasn't affected in the least by the famously terrifying glare, and stared impassively back at him. She was calmly filing her nails to elegant ovals, and sat beside his bed. Minutes ago Ruka had left the room swiftly, claiming that Kaname had told her to start some research immediately.

"What the-" he paused for breath, hating how difficult it was to breathe with the pain still sharp in his abdomen, "He just – just _goes_, after telling me he'd-" _speak to me_.

Rima shot him a confused look. The private message Kaname had told Zero with his eyes had clearly been successfully received – she didn't know a thing. Zero frowned, biting his lip in agitation. He wanted to understand, so badly. More than anything, Zero hated being left in the dark. Like Yagari had told him many times, sometimes knowledge was the greatest power.

Kaname had left far too many unanswered questions this time – for one, what did he mean by "she lives on in _you_"? Lady lived on in all the Hunters. It didn't make sense that Rido would randomly target Zero, of all people – unless it was the fact that Zero was Bonded to Kaname and drank his blood which made him stand out.

Come to think of it, that most probably _was_ the answer to _why_.

"Kiryuu-san, I must go and check on Yuuki-hime. You must rest now," Rima said quietly, hurrying out of the room before Zero could protest, _again_.

"Fucking-!" Zero spat, curling his hands into fists, with the sheets bunched in them. He fidgeted with the sheets, turning to glare at the blood bag hanging above his head, discharging blood into his arm at a frustratingly slow rate. He counted the drips, wondering why they were dispensing the blood so slowly – didn't he need to heal fast?

Unfortunately, he didn't know how to alter it to speed up, so he was left watching the blood drip ever so _slowly_. Bit by bit, it went _drip…drip…drip…drip-_

He knew he'd go mad. He was going to go mad, lose his mind – his marbles. Go completely balmy. All because he was stuck here till he healed.

Well, _fuck _that.

Zero knew that he was still healing, but he also knew his body better than any doctor could. He could feel that the Pure blood had so far healed his insides, it was just the scarring tissue that was still a little tender. Technically, he could move without damaging anything. In any case, he carefully lifted the hospital gown a little to see his bandages. They were still white and unstained which meant the blood wasn't seeping through. He was also taken aback by how pale and smooth his skin was once more. No bruises. Zero peeled back his sleeves, examining his arms. Again – no bruises.

_A…Amazing. _

He didn't understand why his skin was clear again. Was the blood perhaps settling down inside him now? Anyhow, it was fantastic to see the ugly markings gone. Zero wasn't vain, but they had really been so hideous and mottled, and he'd been really sick of looking at himself in the mirror _ever_, just seeing the way he looked like some abused and beaten…_thing_. Even when he went on jobs as a Hunter and came home wounded, he didn't look so beaten and pathetic as he did with the multitude of bruises on his body. But _now_, they were…gone.

Zero glanced around the room, listening for any approaching footsteps. But there was no one.

He carefully pulled the needle out with a wince, immediately tugging the needle out of the tube and clamping his thumb down on it. If the blood escaped, surely it would attract the doctors pretty soon. Zero slipped the tubing into his mouth and sucked the blood out quickly, drinking it with record speed. He licked his thumb clean and shuffled out of bed cautiously, peering around as he did so.

Luckily, there wasn't much noise, even as he fumbled around to get his footing. And when he checked his bandages again they were still clean, so the wound hadn't reopened.

Zero slid the door open, smoothly, soundlessly, and crept out into the corridor. His plan was to sneak into the library and join in the research – he knew that there wasn't much else he could do, physically or otherwise, to help. He was much too weak to even toy with the idea of sneaking out of the castle to join in with the action. But being stuck in a hospital bed was _not_ something he would waste his time doing, not when he was perfectly capable of moving around like this.

He of course, would take things lightly, and walk at a slower pace. This would also provide him time to check his surroundings for Rima or anyone else who might try to usher him back to bed.

No doubt they would _tie_ him down on the bed, in case he tried to escape again.

Zero edged around a corner, eyes darting madly and Hunter senses on alert. But he found that his senses were not as accurate as he would have liked. Where he usually would have been able to identify the number and level of vampires in the immediate area as well as the surrounding area, he could only pinpoint a scattering of vampires – vague and un-classed, in the same corridor as himself. Why was this blindsight? Thoroughly disturbed by this, he relied on his ears and eyes only.

Luck seemed to be on his side, because he easily covered dozens of corridors without disturbance.

But it was only at the end of one of these corridors that Zero realised that he might be lost.

It was only then that he realised he may not know exactly where he was, nor where the library was, not even where his _room_ was. Zero could have slapped himself.

And he did, and gasped at the sharp pain, glancing at the palm of his hand as he did.

To his horror, he felt the sharp pain dull and heat up, blood rushing to the surface.

_No_. He shouldn't be this delicate, he _couldn't_ be this delicate. Zero watched in dismay as a familiar patch of dark red blossomed under his palm, unfurling like a blossom (he had a mild flashback to his dream, where the bleeding purple rose bloomed in Kaname's open hand). Where his pale smooth skin had been, bruises were reappearing anew. He groaned, gently rubbing at the edges of his palm, as if he was trying to smudge the bruise away.

"_No, no, no_…" he moaned, feeling similar pains grow around his body and himself weaken from the onslaught. Where had this madness come from? One moment he was healing, the next he was bruised again! Zero peeled back his shirt again, examining his bandages, but to his surprise, they were still perfectly clean and white.

He glanced around the corridor, straining his ears for any sounds, but there were none. Satisfied that he was perfectly alone, Zero shimmied out of the shirt gingerly, minding the renewed aches in his joints (he was glad that the Kurans' medic team sought to dress their patients in shirt-and-pants combos for their "hospital gowns" rather than the _actual_ gowns). He unravelled the bandage slowly, ready to prise the fabric apart when it got to the dry sticky blood. Finally, when he was surrounded by a small mound of bandage, he found the sticky crease where the healing blood had scabbed over and prepared himself to the pain that would come from peeling it away. He stuck his fingers under a tiny gap where the blood hadn't soaked in and wiggled his finger about, loosening and stretching the fabric. Eventually the cloth came loose, and Zero managed to tug it off.

He was gobsmacked at what he found. Absolutely dumbfounded.

His torso was smeared with the healing blood, but the wound was closed. There were remnants of the stitches' thread, but since this surgical thread dissolved mostly, only a little bit of thread stuck out. He ran his fingers over the wound, finding no pain from the touch, even when he applied pressure to it. Even when he finally gave his stomach a small slap.

He was healed. So why was he bruising then?

* * *

><p>Rima sauntered down the corridor – she knew all was well in the castle, and Yuuki was probably in her room, safe. There was no real reason for why she left Zero, other than she hated listening to people complaining. It was terribly wearing to listen to for long periods of time, so she decided to evade the suffering by leaving early. It wasn't like Zero craved her attention anyway, and in any case, he would be sleeping to recover his strength (if he had any sense at all. Rima was weary of his rebellious attitude and stubborn disposition).<p>

She knew she had said she would check on Yuuki, but… Shiki's room was on the way to Yuuki's.

Surely she could go visit him? He had been alone ever since Kaname had locked him away. She made an extra stop on the way to the kitchens, where she managed to get him some tea and snacks. Rima frowned with worry at the thought that her friend had woken alone, in a cage, most likely with no memory of what he had done to deserve it.

Well, that was wrong actually. Shiki could probably _imagine_ what he had done to deserve that treatment. But Rima worried for the fact that Shiki was probably torturing himself with speculations of what he might have done. He was probably blowing it way out of proportion, and agonising over his guilt. Not many knew (apart from Takuma, of course) how deeply Shiki felt guilt. It was the easiest thing for Shiki to fall into – a sense of devastating guilt. When people mentioned how cold and unfeeling they thought he was, and how he must be a burden to his friends – he felt guilty because he _believed _them. He thought he was a _burden_. Rima tsked, wondering why on earth her friend had such low self-esteem and why he _hated _himself constantly.

Shiki was soft. He was gentle and easy to hurt – he wasn't a coward, or weak. But he was incredibly susceptible to criticism.

Lord knew how much Kaname had "criticised" Shiki over these past few weeks. Rima loved Kaname as much as any of them, but sometimes that man was so unthinking in the way he acted. He barely spoke to his cousin, he barely looked at him, and shut him in cages to keep him out of the way. There was good reason for what he did, but the _way _he acted was cold and unfeeling. Without meaning to, Kaname was causing Shiki's innate guilty conscience to resurface and dominate him.

Rima's pace quickened as she neared his room, her heart beating wildly, though she knew nothing of his condition yet. As he might be torturing himself with wild assumptions, she was too – assuming he was harming himself, even if she might not see it when she saw him – it could all be in his head. She'd never see it. No one would ever see how much Shiki hurt.

She pushed open the door slowly, peering through the room by the dim light. Shiki was sat with his back leaning on the headboard, his fingers curled with his palms faced upwards, resting on his bent knees. His anguished eyes turned on her, sad and blue. Her heart throbbed.

"Senri!" she cried, hurrying over to the cage bars. He held up his hand,

"Stay back," he said quietly, but she was held back by his weak command, by the desperation in his face, "Please. Don't come close," his eyes fell back onto his fingers.

Only when she had come closer did Rima notice the smell of dried blood, and the dark smears on Shiki's hands. His hands were still bloody, or at least under his fingernails. Also his lips were cracked and dry – _horrible_ for a young model, and she could see his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed.

"Rima… look at my hands," he whispered, though it sounded loud in the silent room. She heard a deep sob in his throat, "_What have I done?"_

"It wasn't you!" she exclaimed immediately, fingers itching to caress his hand comfortingly, even though he was too far for her to reach, even if she was stretching into the cage bars. "It was _him_!"

"Does it matter? It was done with this body. Whoever it was who suffered…it was by these hands,"

Shiki shook from the sobs which juddered his body, fat tear drops rolling down his face. He let the tear drops fall on his fingers and then rubbed them quickly onto the bedsheets on either side of his legs. It was then that Rima noticed the dark smudges on the cloth. How heartbreaking – was Shiki _really_ washing his hands with his own _tears_? The effort was futile, but she could see him sobbing bitterly and rubbing his hands harder and harder. There were even rips in the cloth where he had rubbed too hard.

"Senri, don't blame yourself, _please-_"

"Who was it? Who did I kill?" his red-rimmed eyes found hers, mournful and yet desperate to know. Rima gasped. Did Shiki really think… of _course_ he did. What other assumption would he make, when he woke up to find himself in isolation once more, locked in a newer, _stronger_ cage with blood-stained hands? She blanched, realising that for as long as Shiki had been awake, he had thought himself a murderer.

"Senri… Senri _no_. No one died. You didn't kill anyone-"

"I can taste their blood on my lips still. Even though I've wiped my lips and swallowed and swallowed, it still lingers on my tongue," he croaked from his dry throat. Rima whimpered, finding tears tracking down her own face. _Oh Shiki…_

She had to put him out of his misery, "It was Kiryuu, but he was only wounded and he's healing well," she said quickly, deciding to skimp out on details that would only make things worse.

"How bad?" Shiki urged though, frantic to know what damage he had caused. "My stomach was almost full of blood when I woke,"

Rima picked up on a new scent she hadn't noticed before (though it was pungent and _incredibly_ noticeable) – distracted as she was by her friend. Vomit, puddled on the floor beside the bed.

"He's fine," she insisted, closing her eyes when she saw Shiki's grimace at her stubbornness.

She realised that he must be _assuming_ again. He must think that Zero's wounds were much worse than they really were, because she was so anxious to cover up any details. Rima decided she would have to come clean, so she opened his eyes and met his gaze.

"He was badly injured, okay? Ripped open in the abdomen. But he's healing quickly on Kaname's blood,"

Shiki closed his eyes then, and she couldn't tell whether it was out of relief or shame.

He shuddered.

"I c-can't remember," he stuttered, "I-I was walking towards Takuma's rooms, because he always keeps blood tablets in his drawer, and I was _thirsty_. But then _**his**_ voice came in my head and told me I wasn't curing an illness. If I need to drink…_ I should drink_. That's the last I can… remember…" he sobbed, burying his face in his hands. Rima shushed him, eyes running over his form. She was at least pleased that he was unharmed physically. "I was weak," he whispered dolefully, his eyes sought hers, "I _gave in_. I was thirsty and… and I've never tasted blood before, other than my own. _He_ told me he could get me some… I only considered the idea for a second, and then I was lost…"

His voice was so cracked and painful by this time that Rima had trouble deciphering what he was saying, since he babbled too quickly. She could see his body deflate as he finally surrendered all his feelings to her, guilt bleeding out of his voice.

"…temptation. I gave into _him_, I just… I was curious, and the… the _result_ was-"

"Don't think about it, Senri," she interrupted, struggling to find words of comfort for him, "It wasn't you," she repeated firmly, "Don't blame yourself,"

"I **do**!" he yelled suddenly, making her jump at his volume. He leapt forwards, causing her to also jerk backwards instinctively, seeing his face so fierce in anger and self-hatred, "I can see it! Every time I close my eyes, I can remember what he did – perhaps not by sight, but I can taste the blood, I can feel the ripping flesh under my fingers… _Rima_…" he wept, curling once more into himself.

All of a sudden, Rima felt hot rage overtake her sympathy. She was mad. She was _furious_ at how **weak** Shiki was being. Was he weak to Rido? No. He was just _cursed_ and that wasn't his fault at all. Was he weak to himself? Bloody, fucking _yes_. And that was what she hated. He hurt himself far too much, when he should see that he was not the bad person he thought he was.

"Shiki...you _idiot_," she snapped, "You actually let others control you so _easily_. You should _love_ yourself more!" she cried, "Until you know who you are, how can you defend yourself from him? You need to know, Senri. You need to accept that what's done is done, you have to move on and grow stronger from what has happened. Train yourself to resist temptation!"

Shiki lifted his head slowly to regard her with wide, uncertain eyes. _Love himself_? How could he love a monster? How could anyone love a monster like him? _Takuma…_ the thought drifted into his mind, but Shiki dismissed it quickly as it came. Takuma wasn't here. Clearly he had gone, disgusted by what he had become, by what he had done. Shiki didn't blame him for leaving him. He hadn't visited him in a _long_ time, or at least what _felt_ like a long time.

Shiki could feel the tight, choking tautness of the incomplete Bond between them. He knew very well what it felt like, so he was used to the pain, and from experience he could tell that Takuma was already very far away, not even in the castle anymore.

He bit his lip, thinking on what Rima had said carefully.

_Train yourself to resist temptation!_

Train himself… Shiki thought, since there was nothing else he could do, that he would have to do that. He would strengthen himself against Rido's attacks to his mind…or at least he would _try_ to. He had no idea how he was going to _train_ himself. Before now, he'd never had the need to defend his own mind from anybody.

He nodded at Rima, finding a rare smile on her pretty face met by his agreement. She carefully placed the tray of tea and snacks next to the cage bars, turning to leave the room then.

"I must check on Yuuki now. Think on what I have said, alright?"

Shiki nodded, watching her leave quickly. She only left like that – without goodbye nods or reluctant glances back, when she knew it would be difficult to say "goodbye". Indeed, he felt the loss of her company deeply, even though she'd only been there for a matter of a few minutes. The loss of company, of having someone constantly there to talk to, was waning on him now. He found extra tears slipping down his face, from the sheer loneliness and fear he felt from being alone. At least with someone there to keep an eye on him, he could feel safe by himself.

He crawled over to the tray, suddenly starving for food and drink. At least this time he wasn't thirsty for something else – no, _that_ thirst was fully sated. He poured the tea, caught suddenly by the nostalgic tangy scent of rosehip tea. A tear dropped into the cup, and Shiki inhaled the steaming scent with a tiny smile on his face, feeling invigorated just by the scent.

"Taku…" he murmured, comforted by the scent and sour taste of his Bondmate's favourite drink. The hot liquid soothed his empty belly before he began chewing on some of the cookies Rima had brought him. Finally, he could taste something other than blood.

Shiki didn't think he could _ever_ drink blood again. He would always envision the memory of the sensation of ripping a body open, he would always hear the scream Zero let out…

He took another sip of tea, burning his tongue.

No one knew. No one understood the terror he felt.

All Shiki wanted at the moment, was to be wrapped up in Takuma's warm embrace. The cheery blonde he adored was his greatest comfort in the world, and he knew somehow, that if he was there with him, he'd feel a hundred times better. Perhaps it was the Bond that he craved too, which made the pain just that much greater. But Shiki knew nevertheless, he craved Takuma. He wanted him here.

It made his heart break to think he had been too much for Takuma to handle, that he had to leave him behind.

No one understood what it felt like to be afraid of his own mind.

"_Taku…"_


	62. To Be Remembered

**Author's note:**

**Omg guys, I just realised a mistake I made. **

**The Vampire Hunters Association HQ is apparently near the Kurosu Academy… but I wrote that this one is near the Kuran Castle.**

**It's possible to have ****two**** HQs, isn't it? **

**If not… just pretend it is XD**

* * *

><p>Kaname frankly did not <em>enjoy<em> his friend's company right now, not because he was sullen and reluctant to speak to him (embarrassed beyond relief), but because quite honestly, he _stank_. A Vampire's nose did not tolerate faint unpleasant smells very well – like dampness or sweat. Kain however, _reeked_ of a good few unpleasant bodily fluids– sweat (nervousness), vomit (a myriad of reasons _why_ this) and…residual ejaculate (self explanatory). It wasn't the nicest cocktail of aromas by far, and Kaname could even feel himself becoming queasier by the second, even as he tried his best to stop breathing (which was very hard since it had become a habit to breathe now).

On top of this, the sudden blow of the auras of Hunters everywhere did not set them very much at ease. Vampires weren't naturally born with the same resentment towards Hunters that they felt towards them, but after generations of animosity between the two races, it was almost ingrained that they should be wary of the others' auras. Kain was fidgeting beside him, which only heightened Kaname's irritation with him (however much he tried to pretend he wasn't irritated by him, because Kain had in fact done nothing wrong).

Of course, it was very much the situation like if someone catches sight of someone else in a mirror – that person will also be able to see them.

As they were able to sense the Hunters, the Hunters were soon able to sense them.

Three appeared at their sides in seconds, Weapons at the ready. They immediately desisted when they saw who it was, though they made no other gesture to show any respect for Kaname. He was, in their eyes, still an enemy – Pureblood didn't matter much among Hunters, except for the fact that they knew there was a penalty of death for harming or killing them.

Kain bristled at their impudence, though he knew better than to make a big deal about it. Experience from years of leashing Aidou to himself after he had seen Kaname treated "without due respect" and the punishments which followed from _making a scene_, taught him not to. Kaname nodded at the Hunters, gesturing to Kain.

"This is my associate, Kain Akatsuki," he introduced, not needing to name himself at all. They all knew who he was, and recognised that by association, Kain was a guest too.

"Name your purpose for your visit," one of the Hunters demanded, eyeing the heavy iron door which remained open to the passageway they had travelled. It had never been opened so far since its building, and many Hunters complained when it came to their turn to guard the passage. Kaien always insisted there be someone down there in case. Now that the new War had begun, three people had to be down there at the ready.

"We must meet with Kurosu-san," Kaname said smoothly, "The situation is urgent. If one of you would fetch him, and someone could bring my friend something clean to wear," he wrinkled his nose a little at Kain's sheepish grin, "We would be entirely grateful,"

The Hunter gestured to the other two to disperse, deciding to stay with them. He regarded Kaname still with an uneasy eye, not surprising – he was outnumbered now, with a strong Noble and Pureblood Vampire. This situation would not have been possible to maintain peacefully a few years ago. Inevitably the proximity between the enemy races would have incited some sort of dispute, and the Hunter would be very dead by now.

They were lead up and out of the cellar, up the coiled stairway that lead up from it, to the store-room, where the hidden passageway's entrance was hidden in a corner. Both Vampires sighed with relief at the clearer smell of above-ground, where the stink from Kain could escape from the confined space. Kain dismissed himself, taking the clothes from the other Hunter to change, and when he returned Kaname couldn't hold back the snort – the clothes were horribly stretched on his frame, so much that he actually hunched a little to accommodate more cloth for his back (since the shirt ended at his navel).

Kain gave him a dry look, shuffling awkwardly in his too-short trousers, "It's a bad day," he muttered, to Kaname's quiet laughter.

In only a few minutes afterwards, Kaien emerged from the top stair to the store-room, his face alit with worry. His eyes surveyed the two Vampires, searching for wounds or such. Kaname quickly lifted his hands in a placating manner.

"We're fine, Kaien. But we have come to request access to some of your _special rooms_," he said, raising his eyebrow as Kaien's face scrunched up in confusion, "It's urgent,"

"Which 'special room', Kaname? We have many," the old Hunter whined childishly, wrinkling his nose in thought. Suddenly he brightened up, an almost veritable light bulb lighting above his head comically, "_Oh_, do you mean _that_ special room? I thought you said you were done with the tomes-"

"No," Kaname said quickly, glancing at the oblivious vampire by his side, trying to simultaneously tug down his pant legs to cover his bare ankles without exposing himself, "Not those rooms. Where _The Mother_ sleeps,"

Immediately Kaien's face straightened and his eyes narrowed, not angrily but thoughtfully at Kaname – but without another question, he led them away.

"_The Mother_, Kaname?" Kain hissed at him. The redhead had given up on his clothes and slunk by Kaname's side faithfully, his eyes were lit with curiosity.

Kaname nodded, "That's what they call Lady," he replied simply. His tone told Kain that that was all he would say, so the fire-master nodded and they continued in silence.

Many years ago, when Kaname had first heard about the Vampire Ancestor known to the Hunters as "_The Mother", _who fed them her blood and gave them her flesh… he knew there was only one person it could possibly be. How adequate, how true it was to call her _mother_. She had in a way, birthed the Hunters. Because of this, she was the only Pureblood the Hunters regarded with some sort of respect – without her, where would they be?

To Kaname, _mother_ meant something else. He could never forget the night of _her_ sacrifice, when he had sat till the morning light peeked rosy pink in the sky, and he cradled her dead baby in his arms. Perhaps, he could live with some closure, convince himself that the baby hadn't died, but lived on – in all the Hunters that were made, and continued to be.

* * *

><p>Rima found herself watching Yuuki silently for a few moments, feeling very much like she was taking over Seiren's place by standing in the shadows in quiet observation. The petite girl was sat on her bed, her back facing Rima. She appeared to be staring out of the window, or she <em>would<em> be staring out of the window if the curtains weren't drawn. Rima cleared her throat, knocking on the door lightly too as she entered the room. Yuuki barely gave a sign of recognition, so she decided to make herself at home, sitting a seat away beside the princess.

They sat for a while, simply breathing and staring blankly at the curtains. Rima wanted to believe that her company was comforting to Yuuki. It only just occurred to her how little everyone had seen of Yuuki, because Kaname had strictly ordered them to _keep her out of __**it**_. It was sad how little Kaname seemed to believe Yuuki was capable of – such as fending for herself, fighting for herself, being aware of what was going on. He seemed to think that she should always be innocent and pure, without having the trouble of worrying over the bad things in life.

But the sad fact was that Yuuki _was_ living in a life where bad things happened. Kaname couldn't protect her forever, and she couldn't stay ignorant. It wasn't fitting for a princess, or anyone for that matter, to live with blinkers blocking out the bad. She would have a false impression of a perfect world which would shatter when she saw the cracks, the flaws in it – the ugly parts of life which Kaname could not shield her from come creeping into her vision.

Already the shock of witnessing something _terrifying_, something that had broken her fragile hold on life, had rendered Yuuki almost immobile. She would not react to the world with the same vigour that she used to. Rima shuddered when she looked into Yuuki's blank eyes and saw no spark – such blank eyes would fit better on a blind person than her.

She placed a soft hand on Yuuki's, speaking with gentleness she usually only reserved for Shiki and Takuma.

"Yuuki-chan?" she whispered, deciding affectionate nicknames may calm the girl down, "Yuuki-chan, how are you feeling?"

Yuuki blinked, turning to look at Rima, but not _seeing _her. The effect was hauntingly tragic, and Rima had to look away. Rima uncurled her hands, holding them in hers, but then she felt the roughness of her palms and pulled them open to see. There were harsh semi-circular indents in her skin, which stood so deeply that Rima could only guess how long she'd had her hands in tight fists. She rubbed them gently, "Does it still hurt?"

Yuuki nodded numbly, closing her soulful eyes with a sigh, "I'm not doing anything. Why aren't I doing anything when everyone else is?" she groaned. Rima hushed her, patting her hands lightly.

"You mustn't be hard on yourself," she said, wondering why it was her job today to be the comforter, when it was usually Takuma's role, "What you saw must have been awful,"

"It was, but everyone else sees things like that, and _they _carry on. _You _saw her," Yuuki paused to fight away the memory of Kasumi's mutilated body from her mind, "And you carry on like this. Why do I find it so hard? Why is it so difficult to get over her?" she begged.

Rima bit her lip, pondering on what she should and could say.

"Yuuki, you are different. You are special and see only the light," she spoke uncertainly, watching Yuuki's eyes fill with tears, her heart softened, "You aren't weak. You're just…" she trailed off, thinking of some way she could say 'delicate' or 'innocent' without making it seem patronising. She decided to change topic, "Kaname says you can't get involved. He worries about you. Last year was enough, don't you think?"

"_Kaname_," Yuuki spat, stunning Rima by the venom in her voice, "Kaname says this! Is that your excuse? That's pathetic. He's not my keeper, it's _my_ life!" she cried, leaping to her feet. She strode over to yank open the curtains, revealing the sombre white moon, half-full, "I want to _help_! I'm not some feeble damsel, or one of those petty princesses in those books who lets everyone else do the work! I can _help_," she insisted, dragging her wide eyes to Rima's.

Rima couldn't help but think: _no you can't._ Yuuki didn't realise how fragile she really was, perhaps not in spirit – no longer. She had recovered her wits remarkably. But physically, she could not, as Kaname had said, match up to Rido's strength. And including her in the fighting with the possibility that Rido would be attracted to her again, by her resemblance to Lady… she could become a liability.

Clearly something in Rima's reluctant gaze told Yuuki her answer, and she glowered at her, then turning to the moon. Yuuki pressed her fingers against the glass, tracing them around the hemisphere-tilted moon face that glowed in the inky black sky. It outshone the stars tonight, the only relief from the darkness of the night.

"I used to like night time," she said softly, causing Rima to go to stand by her in concern. But she wasn't crying or sad, her expression looked more resentful than anything, "But it's hard to get used to, _all the time_. Sometimes I miss the sun,"

"Yuuki?" she asked in bewilderment at the random statements she was making. The girl looked at her sharply, something unusually steely and defiant about those usually sparkling eyes, it's so… un-Yuuki.

"Kaname has told me before how he finds being a Vampire unnatural. He says he had to put effort into being one, when others simply grew up being themselves. I feel the same. It's difficult to learn new things everyday about the person you're supposed to be, when you still feel…when I still feel…"

"Human," Rima finished, watching Yuuki smile ruefully.

"Yes," she spoke quietly, flushing a little. And then her eyes widened, and Rima felt a relief wash over her when she saw the _usual_ Yuuki's childlike eyes stare at her in concern. She was back. "Rima-chan, are you alright?" she asked.

Then it became unsettling to her to see and hear the sudden switch in Yuuki's behaviour. Bi-polar mood swings… Rima kept her eyes on her warily, though she smiled warmly to the girl.

"I'm fine," she nodded.

"And the others?"

Rima sighed, "Zero is healing very well. I passed Shiki too… he's…" she sighed again, wrapping her arms around herself tightly, "He's coping,"

Yuuki smiled reassuringly at her, wrapping a friendly arm around her, "He'll be alright,"

"He will," she agreed stiffly, but gratefully. It was nice to be comforted after a while, and Rima let Yuuki give her a pat on the back, an encouraging smile. In her mind she kept seeing Shiki, again and again, telling her to "_Stay back_," in that haunting voice. But Yuuki was kind and understanding, and she spoke in the same gentle manner which she had done for her, moments ago.

"You're worried about him," she hummed thoughtfully, eyes sparkling a little, "Do you…_like_ him?"

Rima blushed, "Pardon?"

"I've seen the way you look at him sometimes," Yuuki explained, shrugging a little.

The thought that it was so _obvious_ to someone who was meant to be oblivious an innocent and naïve… Rima blushed even more, shaking Yuuki off of her and stepping away a foot.

But Yuuki's eyes were insistent on her, patient but pushy to hear the girly gossip that threatened to pour out of Rima's lips, because – to be honest, _telling someone _something like this, _girly gossip_, was rather a tempting prospect. Amidst the angst and sorrow, having a little gossip was appealing.

"Only a little bit, for a little while," she answered quickly, chewing her nails when Yuuki let out a pleased squeal, "I've just… I've known him for a while now, and he's always been like a brother to me. But one day I saw how… _handsome_ and wonderful he was,"

Yuuki frowned, "You say it like you _don't_ like him anymore," – perceptive, she was very sharp to these implications. Rima shifted, flustered slightly by the inquisition.

"He's spoken for," she replied plainly.

"Takuma?"

She nodded, "They're Bonded. It's foolish to fall for someone Bonded, so I decided to nip my feelings in the bud. Less harm. You'll only get hurt in the end otherwise,"

She watched as Yuuki's delighted expression morphed into a solemn one of contemplation. The sudden change was again, unsettling. For some reason, she could tell that Yuuki had read something else in what she had said. But she felt a little raw, a little regretful for revealing her secret to Yuuki – in fact, to _anyone_. If she was honest to herself, her crush on Shiki wasn't fading, it was growing unbearably. Even as she tried to stamp it out, it grew like a weed, and she couldn't bear to stop it. Because she found something wonderful in Shiki – someone she could admire and think about when she felt lonely. Unlike any friend, he was special to her. She didn't want to forget this feeling. Even though it was wise to drop her infatuation, leave him to Takuma because they were… they were…

_It's foolish to fall for someone Bonded_.

Rima's lips tightened, not in anger, but disappointment. She nodded at Yuuki,

"Very well, Yuuki. If you would like to do something, we can go check on Kiryuu again. He's probably arguing with the nurses again," she said, taking Yuuki by the elbow and leading her out of the room.

As they left, she caught sight of Yuuki holding something from the corner of her eye, something small that fit in her palm. It was an odd shape, and reflected light off its shiny body… but that was all she could see, before Yuuki slipped the object into her sleeve, out of sight.

* * *

><p>The smell of fresh air was so wonderful that Kain shuddered in pleasure, gulping huge breaths as though he had been drowning before (in his stench). He was surprised, though, that Kaien had led them outside, above ground into a grassy plain. From his own impression of the term "grave", as a Vampire, he knew graves were traditionally buried in underground crypts, with the whole family buried together. That was why he had been confused in the first place when Kaname hadn't shown him to the Kuran crypt. Surely Lady would be there, if she was an Ancestor to the Kurans?<p>

Coming to Hunter grounds instead baffled him completely, until he took a moment to step back and think it through (like Aidou constantly nagged at him to do), and then it sort of made sense. Lady's greatest contribution in her life was to the Hunters. Kaname had explained to him that after she had died, he had taken her body and buried it somewhere secret, but somehow the Hunters managed to find her, and took the opportunity to take possession of her remains. By that time, her body was disintegrating into tiny crystals, which the Hunters embedded in a separate building, built specially in her memory. Their "mother"…

That was why Yuuki had said during the last War, that the Hunters' buildings had a '_presence'_ about them. It must be Lady.

They followed a narrow, under-travelled path that was overgrown with weeds, which crunched underfoot in a single line, with Kaien at the front, followed by Kaname and then himself. It was night time, and Kain took the chance to admire the beautiful half-moon which led their way.

"Kaname, we have sent the Hunters to your barracks already, they should arrive by tomorrow,"

"That's excellent, Kaien," Kaname said gratefully, clearing his throat a little. The air was cold and dry, and he could unfortunately feel a small sting of bloodthirst in his throat – a light scratch on the inside of his oesophagus, barely a tickle compared to full-blown bloodlust. Kaname could cope. He took his small box of emergency blood pills out and chewed on a couple, ignoring Kain's concerned stare.

"May I ask why you wish to visit Her?" Kaien enquired politely, glancing over his shoulder once at them.

"It's complicated," Kaname answered only, and Kaien understood that their mission would take far too long to explain. He was only curious anyways. He knew that Kaname only did things that were necessary, so he didn't question him any further.

"On the progress of Her body," Kaien said, discreetly changing the subject, "The last of her body has crystallised. We've added the crystals to the rest of the assembly, now it's complete,"

Kaname nodded stiffly, "That's good," he said, though he hardly sounded pleased. Kain's eyes widened though. The Lady's corpse was still crystallising to this very day? That was thousands of years ago when she died! Kaname must have sensed his bewilderment, because he humoured him with an answer, "Have I told you what Katsuo did to Lady after she died?"

Well… Kaname humoured him with a _question_, would be more accurate to say.

"No," he said, thinking once more over what he knew.

"Between the time when I buried her body and the Hunters finding it, Katsuo managed to trace her scent and dug up her grave,"

Kain shuddered at the thought, the _disrespect_ of that terrible taboo. He had to remind himself that Katsuo had been her lover, even though that didn't seem to remedy the situation whatsoever.

"He was completely insane by then, and thought that if he gave her his blood, it would revive her. He spilt almost all his blood on her corpse. As far as I can understand it, his immortal blood managed to preserve her physically, somewhat. She has remained as a corpse ever since. But from exposure over time and gradual wearing away, Katsuo's blood has lost its power, and she is reverting back to the normal Pureblood death, where she will turn into crystals,"

Kain nodded in understanding, though a thought nagged his mind.

"But you said that when she died, she sacrificed her body which was what killed her. Why didn't her body turn to crystal _then_?"

"There is a difference between natural death and suicide, or sacrifice if you will. Unlike dying naturally or being killed, sacrificing oneself can be seen of as immortalising yourself for a cause. She is a martyr, Kain. She died for a cause that lives on through the Hunters,"

"We believe that in this way, even her body was immortalised along with her soul," Kaien added, slowly coming to a stop in front of a small building. He grandly gestured to it with obvious pride and fondness, "Here, we've tried to imitate her immortality by building the best building we _could_. Of course, it cannot be too big, or too beautiful, or else…"

"The Hunters will not accept it," Kaname breathed, stepping forwards to the building. He appeared entranced by the small, temple-like thing that sat on the top of a small bulge of earth, moonlight cascading over it. It was a sort of magnetic pull that dragged him towards it without him even noticing his feet were moving. Kaname closed his eyes, letting out a shuddering breath, "I have never been here before," he whispered to no one, though the other two could still hear him, "I haven't seen her since…" _she died._

He was lost in the memories that this powerful _aura_ he could sense, brought to him. It was the perfect replica of the night he had been found by Lady, the very first night of his entire memory – where she had been riding a horse and found him in the darkness. The only difference on this night was the bright moon, which on that night long ago hadn't been there. It had been pitch black darkness; with the only light visible in it being her hauntingly beautiful bright red eyes.

The temple which appeared to be quite small from the path was actually much taller than he had thought, as Kain watched Kaname march directly towards it, dwarfed in height by the temple's stone columns. He made to follow his leader, when Kaien grasped his wrist. Kain didn't know Kaien very well, other than him being the Headmaster at school where he respected him thusly, but he was used to the cheerful, eccentric character he'd seen around school. This Kaien however looked nothing like that one. His eyes were not hostile, but incredibly serious as he held Kain's eyes.

"I sincerely recommend that you do not enter Her building," he released his wrist, but his eyes still held him in a lock hold, "It was built by us Hunters, and like most Hunter buildings, it will reject Vampires,"

"But Kana-"

"No, don't worry about him," Kaien said kindly, sending Kain a wry grin, "As always, he is exempt from the rule. She wants him there. He can feel it,"

"He won't be harmed?" he pressed, feeling a flicker of protectiveness for his friend. Perhaps it was his withdrawal symptoms from being around someone (_Aidouuu)_ where he always had to keep a close eye on him, but Kain wasn't happy having Kaname beyond his sight. The Headmaster however only smiled with his eyes at his loyalty and concern and clapped him on the back.

"He'll be fine," the Headmaster chirped, back to his usual jolly self, "Now, explain to me exactly what we are here for, Kain-kun…"

* * *

><p>There was a feeling that came to Rima, that things weren't going as swimmingly well as she had hoped, as she approached the Infirmary corridor. So far, she had left Zero to rest, she had found Shiki and comforted him, and Yuuki was safe – things were going <em>too<em> well. There had to be something to go wrong somewhere, and Rima was on complete alert as she stepped into the corridor with Yuuki's arm linked in hers.

She sniffed the corridor suspiciously, finding that there was the faint scent of Kaname's blood, but that was the same as before. Kaname had bled himself a lot for Zero, and the delicious smell had leaked into the surrounding corridors, causing many of the servants to flock around the door subconsciously with bright red eyes.

When they opened the door, Rima cursed uncharacteristically loudly and shut her eyes.

Zero was gone.

She should have known…

Yuuki nudged her insistently, asking _where he was, was he better, why could she smell blood…?_

Rima couldn't answer her. She could only guess where Zero was, and even then she didn't know what he was doing or why. What she _did _know was that if she didn't find him soon, before he landed himself in some trouble (which he would, subconsciously, because he was _Zero_), she would be in so much trouble…

She quickly ushered Yuuki back into the corridor and told the princess to search the East and North wings of the castle, she would take the other two sides. They split up immediately, racing off to search for Zero.

Rima felt like a bloody chameleon. Over the past hour she had played the roles of her closest friends, taking their places when they couldn't do so themselves. She had been distant with an awful bedside manner, with Zero – _Kain_. She had done her best to comfort Shiki and Yuuki – _Takuma_.

Finally, she was going to go on a Hunt for the rebellious, stubborn brat of a Hunter she was forced to babysit. She had to find him, berate him and then tie him to his bed as punishment. She was going to take on the role of none other than _Kaname_, on a frightfully _ruthless _mission.

_Oh Kiryuu, you're in for it, _she thought fiercely, narrowing her eyes at the fact that he was making her life difficult, when she already had to look after the _whole castle_, not just him, damn it. _You're in for a world of payback, _she grumbled inwardly. Rima didn't hate Zero like Aidou did, but she thought she could perhaps channel him next, and give Zero a taste of her mind.


	63. The Brink Of Discovery

**It is the stars, the stars above us, govern our conditions **

**~ William Shakespeare**

* * *

><p>The temple was in fact, a mausoleum. Tall and narrow, but wonderfully <em>quaint<em>. The Hunters knew not to make the place too beautiful, but they hadn't held back on out on decorating the cold gray stone, carving details of spiralling geometric flowers in the walls. Kaname ran his fingers over the designs, but didn't stop to admire them. He was drawn into the building, through the open door into a small, dark cavernous entrance. The moonlight spilled into the darkness, and Kaname found the air inside the mausoleum was dry and cold, which irritated his throat.

He went further inside and found the burial room was small and circular. It was lit by small candles, their flames flickered as he moved by. Kaname was moved by the care and respect the Hunters must hold for her, to keep candles lit for her. He ran his eyes over the room contents, a small content smile on his lips.

_At least she is well-kept_, the thought to himself, _at least she will be remembered_.

He remembered that Kaien said the crystals were embedded in the stone, and peered through the dim light at the walls. They were smooth, and for a while, Kaname was confused. He spun in a full circle, squinting at the stone, but his perfect eyes wouldn't deceive him. Where were they? Where was she?

Kaname could sense her presence here, as strongly as if she was still alive, but he couldn't see her. Disappointment filled him. Kaname sighed, sinking to the floor. The icy cold floor seeped through his trouser legs, but Kaname didn't mind. He was so _tired_, and the disappointment was another blow. By "_embedded in the stone_" mean they had ground her crystals down to use as cement? Or that the crystals were _hidden_? The thought of them doing that suddenly stripped away all the respectful things the Hunters seem to have done. Sure, they had built her a monument and made it pretty, but if they had destroyed her crystals…where exactly did the respect go?

Kaname stared dully at the wall, pinching the bridge of his nose as the dull ache developed between his eyes.

Truth be told, he had come here not only to search for the Weapon, but also to seek comfort from a familiar presence that had always managed to soothe his worries (though he also took into account that it was Lady who gave him the tasks which _created_ his worries).

He sighed, and at that moment the room changed.

On the wall he was staring at, spirals of white started to appear, uncoiling and shimmering on the rock. Kaname watched in awe as pictures – no, _carvings_ of geometric stars set in the spirals of rose vines began to shine, the light catching on the faintly raised surfaces. The carved stars glowed and seemed to cascade from above, the light was lifted, as was Kaname's head as he raised it to follow the line of stars.

Light exploded in the small space, making Kaname jump to his feet, alarmed. Blue, silver moonlight seeped from both the open entrance and overhead, flooding the room in so much light that Kaname was dazed by it. _Wait_, _was light coming in from __**above**_…?

Kaname tilted his head back.

At that second he saw magic. A beautiful, _magical_ vision. He gasped in delight. Before he hadn't known why it was so cold in the mausoleum, but right above was his answer.

From outside it looked like the mausoleum was roofed, but from the inside he could see that it was open-topped, at least in the room he was in. But it wasn't an open gap overhead, there was iron lattice-work gating it and protecting the room from debris which may fall in. Attached to the iron lattice was a long chandelier-like hanging, where hundreds – maybe even _thousands_ – of crystals hung from it.

As the moonlight was caught in each of the prisms, instead of scattering into rainbows around the room, the light was simply magnified. They seemed to glimmer, like stars brought down from the sky. It was then that Kaname realised why he hadn't noticed it before – the moonlight had been blocked by black night clouds. Now that the moon was bare, it resonated through the room, and through Lady.

"Oh Lady," he breathed, reaching up towards the crystal ornament, though he knew even with his arms fully stretched he would not reach her, "Even in death…" _you look so beautiful._

Affection thrummed within his heart, heavy and grounding. He couldn't help but smile widely at the wonderful display his beloved friend made now – so fitting to her, because she had always resembled the stars to him. Unreachable, otherworldly pieces of pure light – so far away that he could only look up to her and admire her, and be inspired by who she was.

It felt silly to speak to someone he knew to be dead, but there was this lingering feeling that she was _there_, listening to him. Kaname spoke quietly.

"You still love him, don't you?" he scanned the crystals, but unlike in the movies where they would have glinted or trembled in answer – there was no answer. There was nothing visible to say that she was there, but Kaname still felt her with him. He could imagine on her face, a mixture of shame and defiance – of course she still loved Katsuo, she would _forever_ love him. How could she not? They were Bonded, and as far as he knew, they had had a loving relationship.

But the shame… she knew that love was blinding. No matter how much Lady had adored Katsuo, she was wise enough to see that his ideals were morally wrong and there was no way he could justify the bloodshed he had caused. Part of Lady _hated_ him too for his brutality.

She felt shame for falling in love with a _monster_…

And that shame was shaming in itself.

Kaname nodded, taking that answer as he saw it. He squinted into the crystals, imagining her sorrowful face, tears possibly tracking down her cheeks. She knew. She knew what must be done.

"He must die, Lady,"

Kaname flinched as he said the words, but he did not allow his fear to take hold of him, neither the pain of knowing he was hurting his beloved Lady by telling her this.

"You _know_ this," he said firmly, "You told me yourself, to do it. But now that I cannot, it must be you who ends this,"

Again, there is no reply, and Kaname finds himself longing to hear her voice, even if it is her screaming at him for being a failure, for failing where he had promised to kill Katsuo. It was a cruel thing to task someone with killing the person they loved.

Kaname knew, if the Lady's conscience truly still remained, and if she was reluctant to agree to kill him, her Weapon would remain hidden no matter the consequence. The question still remained – did Lady's weapon get buried with her, or was it hidden someplace else? If so, how would they find it?

"Please, Lady, show me where it is," he begged, turning full-circle to observe the whole interior of the room. There was no furniture, no clues anywhere that he could see. But if it was hidden… Kaname narrowed his eyes, tracing every corner of the room. _Where could it be?_ "Lady!" he cried, feeling a stab of betrayal in his stomach. The harsh contradiction of her actions was utterly maddening, as Kaname didn't know what she wanted him to do anymore. They couldn't kill Katsuo without her Weapon, but she would not give it to them because she loved him still, yet she had tasked Kaname with killing him…

He snarled, suddenly turning around and throwing a punch at the wall. Even with his Pureblood strength, the wall outmatches him in strength, and his arm jars with vibrations shuddering up his knuckles into his elbow joint. The pain clears his anger, and constitutes it with the numbness of loneliness. She has abandoned him with this impossible task, all alone with no help, nothing.

Again, Kaname is faced with the unfairness of life.

He spares one last look at the crystals, smiling ruefully at how wonderfully it shines, even against the darkness. He thinks there must be some symbolism there, but is now too weary to decipher it.

When he emerges from the mausoleum, Kain immediately releases a breath of relief at seeing his leader and quickly takes hold of his arm, for both his own comfort and Kaname's support. He didn't realise he was trembling slightly until Kain had steadied him, and sent a grateful look at his friend before turning to Kaien. Kaien, whose face looks grim and unsettled, stands further up the path. He nods at Kaname's arrival. Their strange behaviour suddenly makes Kaname realise that he has no idea how long he spent in the mausoleum – perhaps it had been longer than he thought.

"You did not find what you were looking for," Kaien says, and Kaname nods simply. Failure is in every step he takes to the Headmaster's side, and a deeper pain lingers in his eyes. Kaien meets them with a grimace.

"We will find no weapon here, even if it_ does_ lie here," Kaname said dismally, "She will have hidden it,"

"It can't be found?" Kain asked, flinching at the glare Kaname threw him.

"_She has hidden it_. She doesn't want it found, and so it will _not_ be found. Even if we rip the whole temple apart," Kaien cringed, "It will not be found," he said firmly. He turned towards the path, "We're wasting time which should be spent looking for another-"

"I didn't know what you were looking for, Kaname," Kaien interrupted, "Had I known, I would have told you sooner that there was no '_Weapon'_ which we Hunters have ever seen, even when we built the crypt and laid her to rest in it,"

"You're sure?" Kaname asked, letting a bitter tone seep into his voice, "Or are there secrets we don't know? If there is anything you Hunters are holding from us, Kaien, we must share our secrets now. It is imperative that we know everything, or else He will not be beaten,"

"Kaname!" Kain cried, taken aback by the bitterness of Kaname's voice. The Headmaster was not a dishonest man, or at least, he would not lie to his friends. He would never hold information from him. Kain took the place of Takuma as he scolded Kaname for his callous judgement.

"I'm sorry, but I must be blunt," he snapped, taking in Kaien's shocked face with a measure of guilt in his eyes, for his lack of trust in him, "We must know,"

Kaien shrugged, a wry smile coupled with his hurt eyes, "Must you ask? You know I have told you everything I know. I have broken Hunter laws in telling you most of our secrets, you know, Kaname. In theory, you have all the knowledge of us at your disposal – _Kaname_," Kaien gasped, running out of breath, "There _is_ nothing else to tell you. What else do you need to know?"

"I need to kill him," Kaname blurted, eyes snapping to Kaien's again. He staggered over to the Headmaster, grabbing his hands tightly, "I am sorry," he searched his eyes for forgiveness, "I never meant to doubt you, but we – I am just d-"

"Desperate," Kaien smiled, squeezing his hands, "I know, my friend,"

"There is no way," Kaname breathed, his breathing was heavy and he couldn't stop shaking his head despondently, "No way I can see…where we will win,"

"There is no more information I can give you which you don't already know. I'm sorry too, but this is as far as we can help you,"

Kaname nodded, sucking in a deep breath. His quest seemed to stretch on much farther, on a much more difficult path which he had no idea how to conquer. To his relief, Kain kept holding his arm to ground him, and the fire-master's eyes were trained on him, silently sending him his support.

"Thank you for your help, Headmaster," Kaname said softly, sending him a small tight smile which was gratefully returned. "We must go now, we should look for another-"

"Kaname, there is something else I must tell you,"

He turned to Kaien, who suddenly looked rather sheepish and uncertain.

"When we sent the Hunters to join your troops, a certain _someone_ decided to tag along,"

"Yagari?" Kaname guessed, unsurprised at this. Kaien responded with a quick nod, but his eyes darted around in a rather suspicious manner. "And?" Kaname pressed, sensing there was something else afoot.

"He snuck out – he was never meant to go," Kaien shrugged, "_**I **_was meant to go, and _he_ was meant to take my place at the Academy and HQ, but he left before I did, so now I am stuck there. Also, he took someone with him, someone whose presence may surprise you,"

"A spy?" the Pureblood drawled, again, unsurprised at Yagari's mistrustful behaviour.

"No, rather a bodyguard, _he_ thinks…"

"A bodyguard…" Kaname repeated, narrowing his eyes thoughtfully. His eyes widened then, "…for _Zero?_"

The Headmaster nodded with a weary sigh, "For Zero,"

Kain shook his head with an amused smirk, "Oh boy, he's gonna be _thrilled_…"

* * *

><p>"Oh fuck," he grumbled, staring at the repulsive mottled skin of his arms again. Again he had had to take a break, leaning against one of the many <em>identical<em> walls in the castle. Terribly lost, exhausted and achy – Zero was not in the best of moods, and he found himself swearing and cussing like a drunken sailor; quite fitting too, since he staggered diagonally across the width of the corridor, from side to side and resting with each time he met a wall. It was highly reminiscent of a sailor's walk on a ship, with turbulent waves rocking him side to side, except it was his exhaustion which caused him to walk unsteadily, and he surprisingly didn't feel too sea-sick.

It was like Zero's clear, un-bruised skin had been an illusion, or it had become that way temporarily, and now he had slipped back into the previously marred skin suit from before. Disgusting. As well as this, the pain this suit created in every movement was really slowing him down. Zero had to struggle to remember what he was doing sometimes, and then his head would reel with the fact that he was _lost_, and he didn't know where the hell he was going really.

He groaned as his body crashed into the other wall of the corridor. He had lurched too far to the right, and miscalculated how hard he would smack into the wall, especially without his hands ready out to catch himself. Because of this, his shoulder had smacked right into it, and now it _burned_.

Zero was quickly beginning to realise that one of the things he hated the most was feeling weak, and that was _physically _weak. He didn't care so much what the other people thought about the way he looked (though he did look awful), or what they said (complained) about him. It was the physical vulnerability that his '_illness'_ had produced which he hated, the fact that no matter how carefully he treated his body, it still hurt. He was used to doing much more gruelling tasks than _walking along a fucking corridor_, and he was used to putting his body through much more physical strain (read: Yagari's brutal bi-monthly training weekends). This was pathetic, this was degrading and maddening and tragic, all in the same bundle.

He had never felt so weak before in his life.

But a flare of determination, of _pride_ shot through him at that moment, quelling the uselessness he had so painfully felt and replacing it with solid, breathing _determination. _How could he be weak? That wasn't him! He wouldn't give in. He wouldn't surrender to a fucking _disease_!

Who was this weak person? Certainly not _him. _

Zero let out a small growl of satisfaction as he felt the refreshing buzz of adrenaline release into his bloodstream from his boost of motivation that had exploded in his mind, set off by the worrying pit of despair he had been falling into. His body's drug enforced his fortitude with power, and Zero found himself walking straight, standing tall as he strode down the corridors purposefully. Did it matter if he knew where he was going? No, not to him in this moment. He would find the library. He would help find the weapons.

Zero hobbled down the corridor, finding himself in a wider space – a gallery. There were countless galleries in this castle. He didn't recognise this one at all – it wasn't the "Warm" one for sure. The coolness in the room made him turn to the windows to shut them, but they were already shut. He shivered, hobbling over to the other door to leave it quickly, when he unexpectedly heard something.

Zero paused, listening carefully for the sound. It had been faint, but he was sure he had heard it. After leaving the gallery, he thought he heard it again. He leaned to the right, tilting his head to the side speculatively. He hadn't imagined it, had he?

_There_! There it was again. Zero shuffled over to the right side of the corridor, which was lined with a few doors along its length. He ran his hand over the wooden panelling, treading slowly now, to listen where it had come from.

He slowed to a stop at the end of the corridor, the darkened dead-end.

Zero held his breath, leaning towards the door cautiously.

There it was – the sound of… someone _crying_.

* * *

><p>Ruka flicked through another dusty book, coughing delicately as the dust tickled her throat and nose. She had stopped grimacing at the dirt on her fingers (and more importantly, <em>under her fingernails<em>) a long time ago, since she realised that in fact, researching in a library could _definitely_ be considered 'dirty work'. Her dress was already ruined – both by the cobwebs, dust and torn from stepping down the ladder too quickly and catching it on her own foot.

Most of the time, she found herself forgetting what she was researching. It was much more difficult to keep focus when most of the books she found were unrelated, long-winded and _boring_. She huffed, setting the book aside. _Useless_.

Someone had to be looking for information though, and since Aidou (their genius) had been unfortunately sent on a different errand (she personally thought that sending _herself_ on that task would've made more sense, since they could use Aidou's brain _here in the library where she had no clue what she was doing_. But then again, Ruka could never bring herself to question Kaname's orders), as had Takuma – she was left to do it. Rima was looking after the other three anyway. Ruka had done the babysitting job before, so she was slightly relieved that Kaname had not given her that task _again_. Good god…

Ruka sighed, choking on the dust again, as she settled on a rung at the middle of the ladder for a rest. It was a tiring job she had, just from the sheer amount of effort it took to cope with the boredom. She didn't know how her geeky friend (Aidou) managed to _enjoy_ doing schoolwork, or research work like this.

It was then that Ruka decided to think through what she was doing. What was she looking for? What did they know?

She knew that Rido was under the control of his (and the whole Kuran clan's) Ancestors – Katsuo and Lady, due to the blood that had been passed down to him, and the evil from Katsuo which had somehow infected his mind.

She knew that they were looking for a way to kill Rido, because _Kaname couldn't_. And the way that Kaname had suggested they kill him was by using special Weapons that Purebloods created in Ancient days with the purpose of killing other Purebloods.

From her own research, she had found little information on these Weapons – not surprisingly, but from what she had found, she knew that each of these Weapons was unique. Each Weapon was only implanted with the power to kill _**one**_ specific Pureblood. They had the power to wound Purebloods fatally too, but each one was created with the intent to kill one particular person. That meant that the Weapon Kaname was looking for, Lady's Weapon, had been made specifically to kill Katsuo.

There was nothing else specific about the Weapons, and Ruka found herself wishing she had some other lead to go on. Something else to offer Kaname.

She sighed again, turning nimbly around on the ladder to climb up higher. Thinking _logically_, Ruka thought that the older books which were likely to hold more information on the Ancient times, were likely to be stored at the top of the bookcases. They weren't likely to be read by many, and were most likely kept out of reach for their own protection from careless people (read: Aidou).

The obvious place to start came to her _now_ – the Kurans. They were descended from the strongest line of Ancestors, supposedly. Surely in Ancient times, they would have been right on the same line as the other developing Pureblood clans, they would have been seeking to protect themselves from other Purebloods too. This meant that other than Lady, there surely must be other members of the clan that had created Weapons.

Ruka paused in her climbing as she heard the sound of staggered footsteps, and then something bumping quite loudly against the wall. She craned her neck to see over her shoulder, who it may be. But no one entered the library, so she continued her climb.

Near the top she was coughing liberally, wincing as she brushed cobwebs away and squinting from the heavy dust that coated her lashes and stung her eyes. Did _no one_ clean here? She would definitely get Kaname to order some of his staff up here. The state of the bookcases was disgusting, even though the books were somehow still impeccably kept (it must be some sort of charm).

At the highest most rung, she peered around at the shelves, and hesitantly pulled herself along the railing, scooting along the shelves and trying to see what the books' spines read. The lighting at the top of the bookcases was horrible too, and she suddenly wished Kain was here to send fireballs everywhere, even though they might set some books ablaze. Ruka didn't like the dark.

After hanging off the ladder and idly scooting around for a while, Ruka hung her head in defeat, resting her forehead on the shelf. Even though she had been right, and these books were _definitely_ old, none of them jumped out at her. Neither did she know which book she should be looking for. They all looked the same. She groaned, opening her eyes with some effort. If she fell asleep here, she might fall and die, and that was Aidou's mistake to make (the klutz he was), not hers.

The first thing she saw was a flower.

To be more specific, a rose.

It was a gold rose, embellished on the spine of a dark coloured book. Ruka hooked one arm around the rung to steady herself, with the other hand she brushed off some dust. The colour of the book was deep mahogany, and it felt like a leather-bound book. Something compelled her to take it with her, so she wedged it under her arm and shimmied down the ladder with poise, pleased that she did not have to hold down her skirt with nobody (no _boys_) around to _peek_. Though, she mused, the only boys she hung around with were respectable ones (of course), such as Aidou and Kain – who she had to admit were perfect gentlemen, never entrenching on the personal space of a lady.

To be honest, she was a little surprised that they were quite so _gentlemanly_. Had they not been her cousins, and she not been quite such a prideful, confident woman, she might consider that it was because she was not beautiful enough that they were never tempted to peek at her. But, Ruka was not modest enough to deny the fact that she **knew** she was _definitely_ beautiful enough.

She wasn't unhappy or angry that they weren't interested in her _like that_ though. Even though it wasn't unusual for cousins to fall in love, and even Bond or marry, perhaps they she just wasn't to their tastes and they saw her more like a sister – she could understand and respect that. Truthfully, she was glad. She didn't think she could ever face having either one of them as a husband. They were already troublesome enough to handle as friends.

For some reason, while she thought about this, Ruka recalled seeing the way Aidou had baited Kain with one look, during the meeting around Zero's bed, and how Kain had blushed the reddest she had ever seen him. Had something happened between them? She wanted to interrogate them, as always, but they were currently unavailable. Ruka huffed.

She gently placed the book down on a table, seated herself, and then studied the front.

No title – no note inside the front cover. She carefully pulled open the front, very aware that the book could be quite fragile, since it was amongst the oldest books.

But when she opened it, she found that it was either very well made, or it was in fact quite new. It was sturdier than she had anticipated, and clean on the inside. The pages were quite white and new.

She flicked through it, and straight away her hands drew to her mouth in shock.

This wasn't any ordinary book.

This was a journal.

Ruka wasn't just amazed by this though, she was amazed because she could see that the ink was quite fresh. This wasn't an old book by any means. Someone had put it up there, someone had hidden it. And the handwriting…Ruka could identify it immediately. Unusually tight, small script – that of a woman… this was the writing of one Kuran Juri.

She peered down at the book, remembering the woman who had written in it only vaguely. The swish of her clothing and the faint smell of her flowery perfume. Ruka had only met Kuran Juri the one time, but she admired her greatly. She was the main inspiration for the way Ruka strived to act very lady-like, and always be beautiful and kind. Even that one time she had seen the queen, she knew she wanted to be just like her (and not just because she was a _queen_, and at that time she…_well_… she had still been rather fond of Kaname, and quite _hopeful_…).

Reading her diary felt like a terrible invasion of her privacy.

But at the same moment, Ruka wondered – what were the chances that she had found _Kuran Juri's diary_ amongst all the books in this library? Was it chance, or perhaps fate? There was a something inside Ruka that said that it was right for her to read this book. She was _supposed_ to find something there.

She opened the book again, sniffing the flowery scent once more, and then she began to read, flicking through the ordinary days. In her mind, she was excited to know what she may find in the text, what Juri could have possibly wanted to share with her. She browsed through the book eagerly, though the eagerness began to wane when she realised that this diary was _quite thick_, and she'd have to go through all of it to see what may be hidden. What if the information she was seeking was at the very end of the book? Ruka flipped to the last few entries, but found that they stopped sometime after the date when she first met Kaname.

A lump rose to her throat, when she realised that the last few entries were scribbled in almost a hysterical script in comparison to Juri's normal neat handwriting. The sentences were barely legible, and where she could read them, they were filled with despair. Ruka suddenly felt awful for prying into the last few moments Juri had had to write them. This had been a time when, as far as she knew, the Kurans had gone into hiding. Rido had been hunting them, and so they went underground, locked in their own home like a prison. The thought of it was greatly saddening. She had never asked Kaname about that time, or the death of his parents. None of them had, because the tragedy of the Kurans' deaths was still too fresh a memory to be discussed.

She backtracked a good chunk of book, to the last half of the book. If she was going to find anything, she guessed it would be prudent to start from there. Ruka forced herself to return to scanning the texts thoroughly, flipping pages so fast, she could feel a breeze on her face.

As she read, her eyes widened in wonder. The very passage she read was a description of Juri's days before her wedding. The excitement in her hand made her writing sway from side to side, almost imitating the impatient swing of a child's legs as they waited for something they desired greatly. She blushed, reading how deeply Juri adored her fiancé, Haruka, and how much she wanted to marry.

It was fun to read, like a fairytale about to begin.

And then, on the day before the wedding, was when the fun ended.

Ruka's eyes almost fell out at what she read, and she gaped in horror, when the door to the library swung open, causing her to jump and drop the book suddenly. She squeaked, whirling around to see Yuuki and Rima in the doorway. The two girls were panting and wild-eyed.

"What?" she yelled irritably, trying to find the same page she'd been on, swearing when she found the pages were unnumbered and stuck together. How unhelpful.

"Have you seen Zero?" Yuuki called, hurrying up to Ruka's table. Rima followed closely behind.

"No, of course not. I've been in here," Ruka snapped, gesturing to the books scattered everywhere, "Reading,"

"He's not in the Infirmary," Rima said quietly, not even flinching as Ruka swore even more loudly, "Where he _should_ be resting,"

Ruka rolled her eyes, slamming her book shut and following them out into the corridor, "That _Hunter_…" she growled, catching the same irritated – no, _pissed_ – expression in Rima's eyes, "…he's so damn stubborn! And _stupid_! Doesn't he know he has to heal?"

"He isn't the most patient person," Yuuki laughed nervously, tugging the two girls down the corridor, "We've searched through most of the castle, and told the staff to keep an eye out for him too, but he's _nowhere!_"

"Of course he is!" Ruka roared, unexplainably furious at how her reading had been cut short (especially when she had gotten to a good part) and how it was _bloody Zero_ (who she wasn't exactly _fond_ of) who was the cause of this disruption. "Bloody Hunter!"

Rima agreed with a nod, "We'll tie him to his bed when we find him,"

"And lock the door… _and throw away the key!_" Ruka bellowed, ignoring Yuuki's increasingly hysterical nervous laughter. "That boy had to ruin the moment when I _finally _found something!"

"You found what?" Rima asked, yanking Yuuki around a sharp corner before she smashed into a wall. They were travelling at a dizzying pace, so she had to keep an eye out for both of them as they were distracted – one by her fury, the other by her concern for her friend's life once they found him.

"_Something_!" Ruka yelled shortly, not able to expand any further than that. "Something important!"

Rima sent her an ironic grin, "Something important that Kaname would like to know?"

"Definitely!"

The model laughed without humour, "Well that's _great_, isn't it? Even though you've found something that will make him happy, we're _still _gonna be killed by him for losing Kiryuu!"

"Not if I kill him first!" Ruka snarled. The other two stared wide-eyed at her for a few moments, until she flushed. "Not _him_, I meant **Kiryuu!**"


	64. Sickness, Hunger, Thirst

**It's often just enough to be with someone. I don't need to touch them. Not even talk. A feeling passes between you both. You're not alone. **

**~ Marilyn Monroe**

* * *

><p>Zero rapped on the door, hearing the crying go silent. A shiver went down his spine, as this setting was perfect for a horror movie. The dark hall, the lonely sound of someone crying behind a closed door, in an area of the castle where there seemed to be <em>no one else present<em>…

He turned the door knob slowly, pushing the door open with just as much care.

As soon as he saw who it was inside, he recoiled.

Shiki, in a strangely built cage. It had only been the night before when Shiki had ripped him to shreds – of course, the rational side of Zero's brain knew it was Rido, not Shiki, who had wounded him. But the irrational side only recognised the face that had hovered above him whilst draining the life out of his body, and was terrified of feeling that same pain again.

Zero made to leave the room, when he heard a muffled sob come from Shiki.

He hesitated to close the door, hearing another sob escape from the caged boy. It was such a lonely sound, echoing in the room, and it made Zero close his eyes in sympathy. _Poor Shiki_, he suddenly thought, realising that he hadn't really given time to think about how difficult this was for _him_ – the kind, quiet boy who always hung around Takuma. Shiki had always been a quiet boy who kept to himself, as far as Zero knew, and never seemed the type to cause anyone any harm. As this image of Shiki was held in his mind, he felt the sympathy in him grow.

_Poor Shiki_, he thought.

"Go, Zero," he heard a weak voice call. Zero peered through the darkness to try to see Shiki, but he couldn't see much beyond a reclining form on the bed. He dared not step further inside the room, fully aware of what danger he was in just by lingering in the doorway. Should Rido take Shiki's body again, right now, Zero would be in lots of trouble. But something was keeping him there – the sympathy.

"Please go!" Shiki called, "I don't want to hurt you,"

"I know that," Zero replied, leaning against the door. He eyed the cage around the boy with some discomfort, though he knew it was for everyone's safety, "How are you holding up?"

"I'm _sorry_!" he howled.

Zero frowned at the answer. He was sure he'd been friendly in asking Shiki how he was, but he replied with fear and sorrow in his voice. Zero opened his mouth to speak again, when he realised how Shiki must have interpreted what he said as – "_How are you holding up?"_ sounded like he was mocking Shiki for his imprisonment, from the subconsciously brusque tone of his voice (though Shiki really ought to know that _brusque_ tended to be the _natural_ tone of Zero's voice), especially after last night. It sounded to Shiki, that he was happy that he was being punished like this, when Zero in fact thought it was sick (though unfortunately necessary) to be caged like some sort of wild animal like this.

"No," he said softly, "I forgive you, it _wasn't _you. And, what I said…I'm really concerned about how you're holding up," he explained.

He heard Shiki shuffle a little, the movement somehow stirred the movement in the air a little, and Zero caught the smell of his own dried blood on Shiki. He tried not to wince, but couldn't stop himself moving backwards slightly.

There was no reply again, even as Zero waited a full minute.

"Good," Zero nodded awkwardly, pretending that he had heard an '_I'm alright thanks_,' instead of silence. He was practically in the corridor, ready to leave the room again. He knew he wasn't supposed to be there in the first place, but there was something in the loneliness he could feel around Shiki made him want to stay. The poor boy was in fucking _isolation_, and was being practically mind-raped each time his sick father took possession of his body. He needed _some_ sort of comfort, which no one was providing him with – he didn't deserve this. He cursed his soft heart for keeping him there in danger, but he knew he couldn't drag himself away if he tried.

He nodded towards the cage, uncertain if Shiki could even see the movement, "Is that secure?" he asked bluntly, not knowing any other way to ask it.

"Yes, very,"

Zero nodded, feeling slightly relieved that at least he was _safer_ there than he had thought he was.

"Kaname made it," Shiki added, a hint of sourness in his tone. Zero sighed audibly, with relief, though part of him was prickled by Shiki's tone. He didn't usually speak so caustically…

"Well, he's always thorough with these things, isn't he?"

Shiki snorted rather loudly, haughtily, "Yeah. He's a _perfectionist_,"

"Then can I stay?" Zero said, stepping a little more into the room. He heard Shiki gasp, and shuffle backwards. The change in behaviour, from being pretty scornful to downright _frightened…_ something was wrong with him, "_Come on_, Shiki. You're safe in there, and I'm safe out here. I bet you've been alone here for a while, right?"

There was no answer, but Zero just thought that Shiki was being reluctant. He was touched by the boy's willingness to isolate himself from them, from _him_, just for their safety. He was unwilling to speak to Zero, though that was probably also in guilt from last night.

"I'm serious when I say I forgive you, alright?" he said, "I've healed pretty much now, anyway. I got so bored in the Infirmary waiting for them to release me that I snuck out. I guess I've got to hide now, in case one of them find me – then they'll drag me back to bed… though I bet that's not all I'll get for the trouble I've caused them," he rambled, hoping to get Shiki to respond. Zero knew how bad he was at small talk, "So can I hide in here and talk with you for a bit? I mean… if it's not too much trouble?" he mumbled, realising that he might be intruding. "…Shiki?"

"You can stay,"

Zero sighed in relief, smiling a little despite his nervousness. "Alright,"

He quickly took a seat at the desk before he could change his mind, twisting round to face Shiki. It was at this point where Zero realised how important it was to have some sort of expert, practised conversationalist, in a situation like this. Unlike them two, that type of person would know what to _say_ to begin and maintain a conversation. Then at least, instead of stiff awkwardness lingering in the air, there would have been the comfort and gratitude of sharing good company.

He decided to try sending a friendly grin to Shiki.

It failed miserably, and Zero groaned inwardly at his lack of skill in being social and comforting, especially when he heard Shiki sniff rather pitifully again, he had hoped he'd stopped crying, but clearly that was not so. He wondered why he was born with such a soft heart, which held a conscience that forced him to _do_ these things; but his mannerisms were so stiff and sometimes apparently _cold_, that he couldn't help put someone as troubled as Shiki at ease. It was a bloody contradiction.

Zero opened his mouth to try to speak for a second time, when he smelt again, blood.

This blood was running though, not dried. His eyes automatically flashed red, but since he was sated from Kaname's blood, his mind retained its clarity and he could focus on things still. Zero frowned, sniffing out the blood, which appeared to be coming from Shiki. What was he doing? In the darkness of the room, he could still only see the dark form of Shiki, not details.

"What're you doing?" he asked, repeating it a little louder when he got no response. Zero gasped when he saw Shiki jerk unnaturally to the side, a tortured groan echoing from his throat. He jumped from his seat, making to go towards Shiki, when common sense kept him back – he knew that this situation was going bad, and it would be wise of him to leave immediately. But leaving Shiki there…it didn't feel right. Zero bit his lip, taking a step forwards slowly, "Are you alright? Have you hurt yourself?"

He drew back when Shiki groaned loudly, jerking wildly again, so much that Zero was afraid he was having a fit. "Shiki? Shiki!" he yelled, caught between wanting to lunge forwards to help him and simultaneously run away to safety.

Shiki shrieked, writhing on the bed so much that it shook against the bars. His body was trembling and shuddering so fast that Zero could hear his joints creak, and the springs mattress squeak.

And then all fell still.

Zero held his breath, stepping again closer to the cage. He reasoned with himself that it must be safe – Kaname had built it. He peered down at Shiki's motionless form, worried at his stillness.

"Shiki?" he called urgently, reaching forwards to shake the bars. "Hey! Come on!"

Shiki groaned softly, turning to face him. He could just pick out the curve of Shiki's nose, and his chin, out of the mass of darkness. The redhead mumbled something incoherently, then he coughed. And he coughed again, violently. Soon it became a coughing fit, and Zero scrambled around the room to look for water. He poured a glass from the jug quickly and placed it on the nightstand, within reach of the bars.

"Here, Shiki – take the water,"

Shiki crawled over to take the drink, gulping it down quickly. He placed the glass back on the table and then curled up, right up against the pillows.

Zero went to stand parallel to him, trying to see where his wounds were. The blood was so _fresh_. Had he just injured himself now? Zero frowned, crouching down so he could see Shiki's face.

"Are you alright?" he asked again, softer this time. Shiki whimpered, and Zero felt his stomach clench as the boy's body unfurled clumsily on the bed, juddering like a… like a puppet on strings.

Zero stood slowly, feeling his skin prickle and his leg muscles tremble at the slowed movements. He barely breathed as he began to step back, "I'll go get someone," he said lightly, shooting a quick glance over his shoulder at the doorway, which was now a good few feet away from him. "Just stay here," he said rather pointlessly, heading towards the door.

And that was when he knew it was too late.

He heard a hissing sound and froze, staring towards the bed, where Shiki had suddenly come close to the cage. Shiki had his right hand covering that side of his face, and he was leering at him, though his other hand was clawing at the mattress. Then Zero realised – it was still Shiki, but he was _fighting_ against _Him_. Shiki's blunt nails were digging so hard in the mattress, and then his thigh – he was creating pain to distract himself from Rido's pull. A half-scream hissed between Shiki's clenched teeth, and Zero felt himself unable to turn and leave him like this.

"Shiki!" he called, crouching again to Shiki's level, "Hold on! Shiki!"

But Shiki shook his head wildly, thrashing from side to side violently till a haunting scream bubbled from his throat in frustration, which chilled Zero to the core. A spurt of new blood flooded into the air as Shiki clawed at his face, roaring in pain. Zero could see the three rips in his skin, from where Shiki's blunt nails had managed to tear flesh.

"Shiki!" he exclaimed, yelling loudly so his voice could be heard from the corridor. If he couldn't leave Shiki, he should at least call for help. It didn't occur to Zero that he was in a deserted part of the castle, where no one would hear him. "Fight it, stay with me Shiki!"

There was a strangled yell which reverberated throughout the room. Shiki's body coiled into itself, till Zero couldn't see anything beyond a mass of darkness. The mattress creaked under his writhing, until finally, it came to a stop.

Shiki lay still.

"Shiki?" Zero whispered into the silence. His heart was thudding so hard, he thought he could feel the vibrations right to his fingertips. The silence was terrifying. The typical question flew into Zero's mind – _was he dead?_ He knew that was a stupid thing to consider, but… "Shiki, are you alright?"

The body suddenly moved, slowly drawing up till he was in a sitting position. Zero watched with baited breath as Shiki covered his face with his hands, probably in shame. He let out a sigh of relief though. At least, even if Shiki was ashamed, he was himself. He repeated his question again, this time a little louder, when he realised his voice was raspy from whispering.

"Thirsty," Shiki croaked.

Zero nodded, turning to pour another glass, when-

There was a stream of blood, a thick wave of the heavy smell, which floated into the air. Zero covered his nose and mouth, but the smell was already there.

He whirled around, just in time to see Shiki shaking ferociously, his right hand hiding half his face again, the other one outstretched. Shiki's left eye widened as red spilled into the blue, a ribbon of red shot out from his finger, and he gasped.

"_**Run**_**,**"

* * *

><p>Rima groaned. They had crossed the whole castle, all the way to the very end of one side of it. What were the changes that Zero was all the way on the <em>other<em> side, right now? She shared a dark look with Ruka, and turned the search party around. If they found him back in the Infirmary after all this, she would make sure he suffered for playing this stupid goose-chase. There were so many nooks and crannies, little narrow corridors which branched off from main ones – the castle was a maze. Even though she was pretty sure they'd covered the whole area on this side of the castle – how could she be sure? She'd never been there before, she didn't know the building well.

For this reason, she occasionally nudged Ruka to show them around or direct them when they got lost. The girl was so pent up on her frustration that she was being led around by Rima, when Rima _didn't_ _know_ where the hell they were going, or where they were. This made the whole mission a lot slower, and Rima grit her teeth – _they hadn't found him yet_.

"Oh Zero, where could you be?" Yuuki sing-sang, cupping her mouth, earning a wry grin from Rima, and a killer death-glare from Ruka.

"Come on," Rima huffed, "We've done this side of the castle. He must be on the other side,"

Ruka swore loudly as they hurried back in the direction they had come from, shocking them both with her rather wide vocabulary. She grabbed both of them by the arms and literally _stormed_ down the corridors, at such a fast pace that even when Rima and Yuuki stumbled and tripped, their feet snagged on the moving carpet and they caught themselves with no trouble.

Going down the _huge _staircase at this speed was _**not fun**_.

Rima thought she was going to die when Ruka skipped four steps at a time – whilst it was alright for _her_, being **tall** and **long**-**legged**, she and Yuuki were much shorter, and had to pray between taking several leaps of faith to reach the landing. Ruka spared them no time to breathe when they reached the landing too. She flew down the remaining steps, her two hostages shrieking as they barely touched the stairs, and they crumpled on the floor by Ruka's feet.

"Y-You're going to get us killed!" Rima shrieked, leaping to her feet and planting her hands on her hips to show how angry she was.

Ruka rolled her eyes, "If I don't find _that boy_ soon and get my _bloody revenge_ I will…I will…"

"If you kill us first, we won't _get_ to kill him!" Rima reasoned, watching as Ruka's crazy expression dampened with cold logic. The blonde tilted her head in contemplation, but then her hands found Yuuki's and Rima's again, and a shiver ran up both the girls' spines. They shared one fearful glance before Ruka dragged them down towards the Grand Dining Room, which was opposite the ballroom they'd investigated earlier. But just as they passed the front of the Entrance Hall, the door blew open with a strong gust of wind, and all of them jumped in shock at the sudden cold.

Rima blinked away her tears from the dry wind, and then blinked in disbelief at what – or _who_ she saw.

"Zero?"

* * *

><p>Kaname felt Kain scrabbling for purchase on his shoulders, and slowed down to what he considered was a leisurely lope. The fire-master only clung on tighter though. He hefted Kain higher up on his back, as he was slipping due to the high winds pulling him off. The sudden jostle made Kain squeak in fear, much to Kaname's amusement.<p>

The trip back to the castle was much faster, or at least it felt faster. He felt Kain's weight like it was the burden of the new task he had been given – though it was also a heavy warm weight which kept him grounded, and he was incredibly grateful for the (somewhat _whiffy_) company of his friend. He pinched Kain's knee to grab his attention.

"Are you alright?"

Kain tried to shrug, but he was too afraid to let go of Kaname at this point, so he grunted loudly, feeling Kaname's belly-deep laughter at his aberrantly meek behaviour. He dug his knees in, squeezing Kaname in retaliation, though his friend only laughed.

"H-How…much…?" he managed to choke out, coughing as a gust of the high speed wind hit him at the back of his throat.

"Not far, hang on," Kaname soothed, surging forwards, "Close your eyes,"

Kain tried to, he really did, but it was one of those things, one of those times when no matter how much you know you should close your eyes, you just couldn't. There was only dark around him, but he knew how fast they were moving, and that was enough to make him feel queasy.

Of course, he couldn't tell Kaname to slow down. Kaname had told him just before they "set off" that they were going to check on the others quickly before going straight on to the next possible location of a Weapon. The tone of his voice and the tightness of his face told Kain that they had to move fast, _really_ fast. As one of Kaname's close friends, Kain knew that the Pureblood wasn't a tyrant, in a controlling sense – but he did like to be in control.

Having Rido raging about, god knows where, with a huge Level E army at his disposal, was not a nice situation. Sure, they had their own army, but Kain knew the army forces they had were only a deterrent, or protection. They were a defensive measure only – they had no way of defeating Rido yet, and this was worrying Kaname.

Eventually they reached the very end of the passageway, the hidden doorway just below the servants' stairs (it couldn't really be called a "doorway", rather a small panel that opened at Kaname's touch). For them to reach it, they had to leap up, since it was at the ceiling of the passage walls. Kain slid off Kaname's back – again in a slightly _shaken_ state. Kaname had already leapt up and dislodged the panel and swung himself out by the time Kain had finished emptying his stomach for the second time, this time retching from the sour taste of his stomach acid.

Kaname levitated him out, not trusting him to not fall on his back. Then he grimaced slightly at the sight of Kain.

"Clean yourself up, and take a few tablets," Kaname said kindly, placing a hand on his shoulder in gratitude, "You've done well, Kain. Get something to eat too, and then meet me in the Infirmary,"

Kain nodded gratefully, watching his leader stride away quickly. He snapped his jaw, wincing at the taste on his tongue, and headed directly to the kitchens, which were literally around the corner from where he was. He was slightly surprised to see no one in the kitchens – it was bare of any staff, but he went straight for the fridge for some fruit juices. Although, had it been any other time, Kain would have preferred getting some wine out of the cellar, he'd had enough of going underground for now, and he also didn't want to get drunk on an empty stomach (he would go for a good blood wine, because plain wine never satisfied him – but those types were quite potent).

He patted his pockets down, searching for the little pouch of pills he carried around with him, frowning when he found it empty. He would have to ask Kaname for more then. Kain sighed, screwing his face up, he fished through his pockets again – he was sure he had to have _some_ pills. He always made sure he carried some around with him (because a peckish Aidou was an intolerable Aidou).

Then his fingers brushed against something cool and metal. It felt like a lighter. He pulled it out.

It was a small plain metal box – slightly longer than a lighter, and it looked like a toothpick case. But Kain knew what it was – Aidou's pill-case. Gently, he slid the tiny lid open with his thumb, pinching two pills – and then three. He dissolved them in the apple juice, eyeing the way the liquid changed from bright amber to a filthy russet colour. Knowing that it would taste _very_ strange now (he'd never combined fruit juice with pills before, but he wanted to wash the taste of vomit from his mouth), he glugged it back, almost choking at the taste.

Great. He'd replaced a horrible taste with another horrible taste.

Kain sighed, placing the glass in the sink and taking out a box of white chocolate biscuits from Rima's stash (which she had built very quickly since settling in the castle). Why on earth was Aidou's pill-box with him? _That sneaky bastard_, he grinned. But his grin faded after a few bites of his biscuit. For what purpose did Aidou give him his pills? Did he know he'd run out of his emergency stash in his pocket? Didn't Aidou need them too?

Worry settled on Kain's furrowed brow. Aidou was gone, to join the troops with Takuma.

He hated to admit it, but he missed him. A lot.

And it had barely been more than three hours since he'd left. _Get a hold of yourself_.

_Aidou's fine_.

Kain snapped a biscuit into half, breaking it into crumbs.

The only reason… the only reason he'd ever come to Kurosu Academy, and gotten involved in Kaname's Inner Circle and everything… was to protect his two precious people – Aidou and Ruka. He was the oldest of the three cousins, and it had always been his responsibility to watch out for them. He took his responsibility very seriously, and knowing Aidou… having Aidou out of his sights made him nervous. How could he protect him when he was far away?

With some irritation he found the biscuit disintegrated in his fingers, sticky with white chocolate. He fiddled with the pill-box carefully, flicking it open and closed like a lighter. Why would Aidou leave it behind? Was he stupid?

Suddenly, he dropped the box with a clatter.

His eyes were wide, he remembered what Aidou had once said to him last year, during the War.

"_I think I can fight best when I'm __**thirsty**__. I feel wilder. Stronger. I can use the hunger as a boost, you know?"_

Aidou was going to starve himself, to become stronger…?

Kain stared at the box in shock. He knew that Aidou wouldn't starve himself badly, but the fact that he had left his supply of pills behind… it felt wrong. He didn't like what Aidou was doing. Wasn't he a genius? Didn't he know that starving yourself makes you weaker? Kain fingered the box. It was true what Aidou said though. At first, the hunger that gripped you was a small annoyance – like a harmless fly invading your personal space. But then the hunger grew, and you became aggravated by the beast it had become, and how it taunted you and tempted you. The hunger could sweep you into a whole mess of uncontrolled fury and desperation. Madness.

This madness, it was the point where the animalistic side of you was released. You became consumed by your hunger, until you couldn't think of anything else but _**killing someone**_.

Of course, Kain had only heard and read about hunger like that. He had never experienced it that far for himself.

But the fact that worried him the most was – hunger cannot be controlled.

What if Aidou got hurt? Or Takuma, if Aidou could not control himself? He knew that Aidou was aiming to use his hunger on the Level Es, but after fighting them – what if his hunger was not sated? Level E blood tasted disgusting. Aidou would not drink much of it, so he'd be left bloodthirsty and consumed by the rage of hunger. Who would be safe near him then?

Kain shuddered. He was over-thinking things. Surely Aidou knew what he was doing, and would control himself well. Perhaps he just left the pill-box with Kain as a little keepsake – one of his things to hold onto till he returned.

He opened the box again, staring down at the small pills. As far as he knew, from Aidou's ramblings, the pills weren't even designed to sate the hunger, they only suppressed it. They could take a hundred of the pills, and be guaranteed a long period of time where they wouldn't have to worry about thirst. But their bloodthirst would never be _fully_ satisfied. It would linger on inside them. In a way, it was like caging a beast. What if the beast eventually could not take any more of being caged? What if the pills eventually wore off and the beast was released?

Kain could feel it. Inside of him. There was a perpetual desire for blood – it was only natural, after all, he was a Vampire. He was made for blood. There would always be this hunger inside of him, raring to be fed. The sensation of this, when he focused on it, was like he was starving himself, just like Aidou was – only, he was taking the pills still, and going by its placebo effect of placating his hunger. In all truth, it was only hiding it. The hunger inside him that would never go away, which was why it felt like he was starving.

He wondered if this was the reason why some of their recruits had fled to Rido's side quickly after his speech. What he had said made some sort of sense to Kain now. It made him feel slightly sick when he looked at the blood pills. He remembered what Rido had said very clearly.

"_How many of you eat those blood pills, like you're curing Vampirism as though it is a __**sickness**__?_

_Be proud of your __**hunger**__. _

_Your insatiable __**thirst**_."

* * *

><p>The blood whip tightened around Zero's arm, even as he struggled with it, it wrapped tighter and coiled up his arm, dragging him towards the cage bars. Shiki – no, Rido's eyes danced with malicious amusement as he grit his teeth, feeling the whip squeeze his bruised wrist. After Shiki had uttered the last warning, Zero had barely had any time to escape the room before Rido's blood whip caught him.<p>

Now he was bound in several whips, around his arms and legs, his throat… it had all started from that arm. The one he had extended to hand Shiki the glass of now spilt water.

He gasped for breath, unable to even speak as he was pulled tightly to the bars of the cage.

"Ah... I can't reach you from here,"

Zero saw Rido crawl over the mattress to sit at the edge facing him. He held his chin on his hand and stared at Zero with great interest.

"I said I was thirsty, but it's not so bad. Last night was quite the nice meal, you see," Rido grinned, leaning close so his face was right against Zero's. Now Zero could see the damage Shiki's face had sustained – the three long gashes that overlapped the scar Rido had given him on his cheek.

"I can't even touch you! What a shame,"

Zeros' body throbbed with pain as every blood whip tightened, as if Rido was "touching" him that way. He groaned loudly.

"Never mind,"

Rido pressed his hands against Zero's, which were now pressed against the bars.

"We can always talk,"


	65. Do You Remember?

**Author's note:**

**Oh god oh god oh god oh god watch this vid, it's so damn heartbreaking! Ignore the Kaname/Yuuki moments, but focus on Haruka/Juri! They are so beautiful… and tragic. TT_TT**

**On top of that, the song for this vid is reaaally haunting and beautiful. I think I've heard it before, but it's been re-jigged a bit, and I really like this version! It goes well with the story, the lyrics, so here you go:**

**http: /www. / watch?v=o1KF s70m8R0**

**and this is a picture of what I imagine the Kuran Castle grand staircase to look like:**

**http: . com/fullsize/ **

**(remove the spaces)**

* * *

><p>One thing he had never encountered was <em>crashing into one of his staff<em>. His staff were perfectly trained, and were always where they were needed, they never milled around aimlessly, with panic written all across their faces like this. They didn't crash into him, knock themselves out from the impact of them ricocheting off his chest onto the wall behind them, and clutter his floor with their unconsciousness. Kaname stared down at the rather young maid with some concern, but he quickly called for the attention of another servant he caught sight of further down the corridor.

The man hurried to Kaname's side, politely ignoring his comrade to pay his full attentions to Kaname. He bowed to Kaname deeply.

"What are you doing?" he said bluntly, gesturing to the unconscious girl, "She was running around, and I bumped straight into her,"

"I'm terribly sorry, Kana-"

"That's not what I asked. Tell me why no one is in the kitchen. Tell me why no one is doing their jobs,"

"Toya-sama called us to create a search party amongst the servants, because we know the castle well, and…well…"

A search party? Rima had been ordered to guard Yuuki (who was most likely to be still in her room), Shiki (in his cage) and Zero (who would be…

in the Infirmary, right?)

Kaname swore loudly, racing down the corridor quickly without even stopping to dismissing the frantic servant. _Zero._ He **would** be the one who decided to break the norm of "staying in his bed to heal" by wandering off on his own. And now…if Rima had found it necessary to call on an entire search party… he must be somewhere in the castle completely lost. Kaname of course, knew how labyrinthine his home was.

He flew through the servants' quarters, blowing doors open before he reached them and practically swarming through each one, finding them dismally empty. Zero…Where the hell would he be? His heart thudded in fear. What if it was like Yuuki, where he had been kidnapped, and no one knew? Zero had still been healing, had still been _weak_ when he'd left him… _he was going to __**kill**__ Rima! _She must have left him alone, and then he disappeared… no. He couldn't blame her – he'd given her responsibility for looking after _three people_. Obviously she hadn't expected Zero to run.

He doubled back to the stairs once he'd found the servants' downstairs quarters all empty, and raced up them, to the back of the grand staircase. Once there, he heard something that made him feel both relieved and shocked.

"Zero?"

Kaname silently crept around the side of the staircase, watching the scene before him with amazed eyes. Yuuki, Rima and Ruka staring at the entranceway, and there, was the silver-haired Hunter they had all been searching for.

Except.

Except, Kaname knew it wasn't him.

For one, the Bond he felt subconsciously was snagging against his throat and urging him to go _elsewhere_, **not** towards this imposter. It told him that this wasn't Zero. As he looked closer, he definitely recognised the differences to Zero. This boy looked around the room with obvious wonder and awe. Even when Zero first saw the castle in the correct light (not the night they first arrived – it was pitch black then) he had schooled his wonderment carefully behind his usual nonchalant face, refusing to show them how impressed he was by the castle. This boy acted far more honestly, with naïvely unrepressed emotions flying across his face.

"Zero?" Yuuki repeated, extending her hand towards him. Kaname caught her wrist though, causing all the girls to gasp in shock at his reappearance.

"That's not Zero," he said quietly, and the silver-haired boy nodded at him. "Kiryuu Ichiru,"

"Ichiru!"

Indeed, it had to be Ichiru. There was no one else who could have fooled them all like that. The question in each of their minds was: _how?_ Just before Zero supposedly slaughtered Rido in the last War, they had all smelt the copious blood he was drenched in, from allegedly _eating_ his dying brother. They thought he was dead. But here he stood, perfectly alive.

Kaname turned his gaze to the other Hunter standing in the entranceway, grimacing as usual from the "stink of Vampires", but looking unusually smug despite the perpetual scowl on his face. No wonder – obviously having shocked them with Ichiru was of great amusement to him. A pang of betrayal stung Kaname as he looked back on his discussion with Kaien earlier.

No secrets kept _indeed_.

"Yagari-san," he said, waving his arm as a gesture of invitation, "Do come in,"

The Hunter nodded gruffly, stepping in with a loud squelch from the mud he tracked in. He placed a hand on Ichiru's shoulder and led the younger Hunter inside, till they met in the middle of the open space. Even closer up, his expression became even _smugger_ as he saw them all staring at Ichiru in pure disbelief.

"This is the bodyguard you have brought for Zero,"

Yagari nodded, pushing Ichiru even more forwards, till the teen was in reach of them. His features were indistinguishable to Zero's, which was quite unsettling, seeing as he was smiling. _Smiling_. His smile was warm and genuine as he held his hand out for Kaname to shake, which he did, naturally.

"Pleasure to meet you, Kuran-sama," he bowed neatly, and then greeted the girls similarly. Ruka in particular, looked stricken by this contradictory doppelganger of Zero's, and how charmingly he acted in comparison to Zero's… usually less-than-friendly demeanour.

"I've brought Ichiru here," Yagari said, patting his student on the shoulder (actually, he was pushing him even further forwards to them), "As a link to the Hunters. Zero needs to stay in contact with us, even if he _does _stay with you lot for a while,"

"Understood," Kaname managed, ignoring the fact that since they were sending a bodyguard for Zero, it could be taken as an insult to their protection over Zero. In fact, since it seemed to be mainly at Yagari's insistence that they send someone for Zero, it _had_ to be taken as an insult, at face value.

He eyed Ichiru sceptically, for a minute ignoring that as far as he knew it should simply be unbelievable to him that Ichiru was alive _at all_. The boy was still looking around curiously, seemingly oblivious to the situation he was in. Ichiru looked like he was in his own world, and this unnerved Kaname.

"He'll be staying here," Yagari added, unceremoniously dropping a rucksack onto the floor with a loud _thump_. Kaname eyed this heavy bag as well. Ichiru hadn't carried it there. _Yagari_ had.

As far as Kaname could recall, Ichiru was the 'lesser twin' – the weaker one. If he couldn't even carry a rucksack by himself, how was he expected to _guard_ Zero?

There was something suspicious going on.

There was another motive to bringing Ichiru into the castle – a _spy_ perhaps? That idea wasn't too farfetched. But it added to the sting Kaname felt from the _secret_ Kaien had withheld, whilst having told Kaname with a straight face that all secrets had been laid bare between them. Could there be so much distrust between the Vampires and the Hunters that they were issuing a _spy_ – under Kaname's very own _**nose**_? It was disgraceful. If there was such little trust between them, when they were supposed to be **allies**, how were they meant to work together efficiently?

What was it – where had this distrust between them originated from (barring the fact that the races weren't on the friendliest of terms)? Since the War, there hadn't been any large disputes between the Vampires and the Hunters. Kaname and Kaien had seen this as a good omen of the future – the silver lining the War had brought. Two races who before had held great loathing for each other were finally getting along – or so they had thought. Had they been too optimistic in believing that? Was there still mutual loathing seething underneath the visible skin of harmony? Was Kaname only seeing what he wanted to believe, by believing the two races were finally getting along?

Or perhaps Kaname was blowing this all out of proportion. The fact that it was _Yagari_ who was bringing Ichiru in meant a lot too. This could all be personal – Yagari's own protective measure for Zero, the boy he regarded as a sort of son. Kaname knew that Yagari barely trusted him with Zero's protection, especially after the incident with Shiki-

Oh shit.

All this musing, all this thinking was wasting _time._

Time they needed to find Zero-

Shit.

It only occurred to Kaname **now** how **bad** this situation would look to Yagari, that they had lost Zero. That he was again, out of their protection. That he was in danger.

Kaname watched Ichiru drag his heavy rucksack onto his back slowly, his eyes flickering to Yagari in embarrassment.

Kaname cleared his throat, "Of course," he said, "And will you be staying as well, Yagari-san?"

"Only to see Zero,"

Shit.

"How's he doing?" Yagari muttered, stepping forwards to take the bag off Ichiru again.

Kaname forced a smile on his face, "Oh, he's healing really well. Actually, he's pretty much back to health," _Healthy enough that he can __**get out of bed and wander around and get **_**fucking lost**_, _he fumed internally, shooting a killer glare at Rima, who shuddered accordingly.

"Good," Yagari grunted, shifting from side to side, "You… you gave him your blood?"

"For healing, yes," Kaname nodded, seeing how Yagari debated between thanking him and glowering at him for doing that. The Hunter chose to remain silent.

For a few moments they all stood in awkward silence. The girls were still staring at Ichiru with awe, which he appeared to finally notice, as his ears turned bright red from their attention.

Yagari coughed, "So, can we see him?"

Kaname fought the urge to shuffle awkwardly, and forced his smile to remain easy on his face. "He's healed really well, sir. I'm pretty sure he's wondering around the castle somewhere. You may see him later," _If we __**find him**_, he shot a look at Rima again, enjoying how the girl fiddled anxiously with her skirt. _Good, __**this is your punishment**_. "Rima was keeping him company in the Infirmary, weren't you?"

Rima's head bobbed, "Y-Yes," her eyes darted towards Ruka apprehensively, "He looked fine. He said… he said he was going to-"

"-the _library_!" Ruka blurted out. Then she glanced around at the surprised faces – surprised from her outburst. But it had just occurred to Ruka where Zero might be. He was a smart boy, who wanted to help with their mission to find Weapons (because Kaname had so stupidly decided to hold the meeting at his bed, where he would hear what they were going to do… didn't Kaname expect that Zero would be eager to help with the mission after he heard about it? She'd have expected Kaname to know this. He seemed to know the boy pretty well). The logical place he would go would be the library – because let's face it, Zero was _smart_. He wasn't stupid. He knew that he was weak, and the most he could probably do was help with research.

Kaname's eyes sharpened in understanding, "Yes, the _library_,"

During this time, Yagari's eyes had been flitting between Rima, Ruka and Kaname with great suspicion. They all sounded very unsure of where Zero was. He didn't trust these Vampires in the slightest, and here they were, making him even _less_ trusting of them. Who was he kidding? Of course they'd find a way to make him trust them less, even though he'd thought that was highly impossible.

With a doubtful nod, he spoke with false confidence, "He's in the library then?"

"Why don't you go with the girls to check?" Kaname smiled brightly, "They can show you to the library, though he may not be there anymore,"

"He doesn't know the castle very well," Rima supplied, flushing as Kaname nodded at her. She was right on track with his plan. "I wonder if he's even made it there!" she giggled, rather theatrically. Yagari raised an eyebrow, as did Ichiru. "He could be lost,"

"I'll go look around the castle for him then. I can bring him to the library – I'll meet you there!" Kaname called, quickly excusing himself with a customary bow, and then bounding up the grand staircase gracefully.

Rima turned to face the two Hunters, rigidly gesturing for them to follow her. She glanced at Ruka morosely, mouthing, "_This is my punishment,"_

Ruka nodded solemnly, shaking her head discreetly, she mouthed back, "_You're a terrible actor,"_ miming her ridiculous attempt at laughing before. Rima rolled her eyes, tugging on Yuuki's hand to get the girl moving. In Rima's head, she was planning to take the Hunters on a _long_ trip around the castle to reach the library. Hopefully by that time, Kaname would have found Zero, and they would be at the library waiting for them.

_Hopefully_.

* * *

><p>Zero grappled with the vein of blood tightly corded around his throat. It was just tight enough to distract him from speaking, holding him off from making much more of a noise greater than a whimper, but he was still able to suck in enough air to live. Though is vision was turning reddish-pink at the edges, and he had to practically roll his eyes back to see Rido properly. It was difficult to pay attention to what he was saying too.<p>

One word, or name rather, did spark Zero's interest though.

Rido leered at him through the bars, stroking the area where his hands were pressed against them. He crooned, "_Isamu_,"

Zero flinched back, hissing between his teeth. The blood whip pulsed, tightening his airway for a second, which had him scrambling again at it.

"Wake up, wake up, Isamu," Rido cooed in a disturbingly sing-song way. He grinned toothily at Zero, "What's the matter? You don't recognise me?"

He couldn't speak, apart from spitting "K-K," between his clenched teeth. This seemed to amuse Rido, because he barked with laughter, jeering at Zero's steadily reddening face.

"K-K-Katsuo?" Rido – no, _Katsuo_, mocked, "Yes. You _do_ recognise me. Well done Isamu, well done indeed. It's been a long time, no? Long time no see. Do you remember the way we met?"

Zero shuddered as another whip slid around his belly, gently squeezing his hips. Katsuo splayed the warm blood, moulding it into the shape of what felt like a long-fingered hand. It caressed Zero in the most indecent manner, causing a hot flush to rise up to his cheeks, whilst he was deeply sickened by the way the strong scent of blood was seducing him.

"You were Hunting, weren't you? The last one on your list… but then I saw you, and I thought – that's that boy! The boy Kaname fawns over. I simply _had_ to meet you, of course! But you were much more wrinkled then, much older by the time I saw you. _Old. __**Disgusting**_, I thought. But it was impressive though, the way you killed that Vampire,"

A few flashbacks hit Zero then, from the Rose Shield – he saw the corpse of the last Army Leader he'd – **no**, _**Isamu**_– had Hunted down. Two bullet shots, one between the eyes and one in the heart.

The blood whip coiled around his waist, then it swivelled down, wrapping around his thigh. His breath hitched.

"N-Not…" _Isamu_, he panted, struggling to loosen the wrap around his neck. His mouth flapped noiselessly, incoherent wheezes spattering out of his lips.

"Not? Oh, I daresay you _were _superb at finishing him off. Very skilled. I watched it all. You're quite captivating in the right light, I suppose. But for killing a Vampire? **Disgraceful**. I met you after you were done, remember? I wanted to surprise you, so I just _**pounced**_on you. You were so surprised…"

Katsuo laughed again, trying to poke his fingers through the mesh, between the bars. He managed to just brush his fingertips against the back of Zero's hands, causing him to whimper at the feeling of his cold, cold hands. Katsuo licked his lips slowly, lowering his eyes to Zero's.

"Do you remember what I told you, Isamu?"

Zero tried again, his lips trembled, "N-No…Not…" _Isamu. I'm __**not**__ Isamu, damn it!_

But Katsuo ignored him, with a deceptively kind smile. "I told you, _'You must be special for Kaname to love you. There must be something unique about you,'_ and then I tried to see _why_. Do you remember? I sipped your blood, tasted your skin, I even _tried to fuck you_. But you didn't let me," he pouted, laughing at the horror in Zero's wide eyes, "You fought so hard! You insisted that Kaname hadn't done you yet. You said '_Don't you dare touch me, or he'll kill you!'_" Rido chuckled, "You screamed that like a whore when I touched you. Kicking, screaming…"

Zero tried to pull his head back as Katsuo perversely kissed the metal mesh, right near his face.

"I have to admit, you're quite beautiful when you're still young, Isamu," Katsuo murmured, his breath blowing into Zero's face through the cage, "But when you were old like that, it felt really disgusting. That's the thing about Humans, _and_ Hunters, it seems. You age quickly. It's tragic, and ugly to watch. I wonder why Kaname fell for you, knowing you'd die in the blink of an eye. The last he'd see of you would be a wrinkly old face.

"But I helped him there, didn't I?" Katsuo smirked, caressing the mesh lining Zero's face, "I killed you when you were young enough to still be a little bit beautiful. Isn't it funny? When you die, your face will always be like that – until you rot, of course. You died beautifully, in the best way you could – in the arms of your lover, isn't that great?

"I told you, '_I'll make him watch. He'll watch you when you die,'_ and I didn't lie, did I? He watched you die – well, he _**killed**_ you in fact – so it was obvious he'd **have** to watch you die!" he laughed to himself. Zero was pinned by his gleaming mismatched eyes, unable to make even a sound as Rido pressed him against the cage with his blood whips till his whole body was pressed against it.

Katsuo spoke right into his face, his breath brushing Zero's own lips.

"Now, listen to me, Isamu," he whispered breathily, "I want to hold you when I kill you, and this time _**I**__ will kill you_. **I'll** eat you, like you ate **her**. I want to feel the life leave your body, while **he** watches, helpless to save you. I can't reach you from here," he gestured to the cage, "But soon I'll have you, I'll eat your filthy blood, and ravage you before his eyes. Then he'll feel the pain of losing. Finally he'll understand the pain…" Katsuo shut his eyes tightly, opening them again, with anger shining through them. For some reason, Zero could tell that as he opened his eyes, he had switched from 'Katsuo' back to 'Rido'. There was something different about his gaze. It was colder than Katsuo's blazing eyes, it was frigid and piercing.

"Then I'll eat _him_ next, before the after-effects of your Bond kill him off. The blood of an Ancestor is rumoured to be divine – at least it will wash the taste of you off my tongue. I'll savour each droplet of his blood, I promise" he moaned, grinning as he spotted the flash of anger in Zero's eyes.

Zero subconsciously curled his hands into fists as he heard this, unable to quell his anger at the thought of Rido _daring_ to eat Kaname. He spoke of Kaname as if he was nothing more than a piece of meat to be eaten, to build up his strength.

"You know what he tastes like though," Rido purred, stroking the mesh again, "Don't you? You drink him so often that I bet it doesn't taste as impressive anymore to you. You can't appreciate the deliciousness that is truly Pure blood, can you? Well," he sighed dramatically, "As long as you continue to drink his blood, I suppose, it can work to my advantage. I can smell it. I'll find you, always with it in your stomach. You need it to fight the bloodthirst, don't you? A belly full of blood will be my target – since you gorge on him so frequently,"

The blood whip was fully wrapped around him now, around each limb, drawing him as physically close to Rido as he could be. Rido licked at the mesh, laughing in delight as Zero strained away from it desperately. To Zero's horror, he could feel his eyes burning, blurring with tears of anger and, to his embarrassment, _**fear**_.

Rido cooed, "Oh, don't cry Isamu. _Don't be afraid. I'll be very quick, I promise!"_

Zero recoiled, remembering the words Kaname had spoken to Isamu before eating him:

_**Don't be afraid. I'll be very quick, I promise.**_

In such a soft, loving voice he had said those words, desperately holding onto his lover as he tried to ease his passing with soft words… those words which Rido had **twisted** so horribly in his mocking tone. Zero shuddered in uncontrollable rage. He was furious, at everything Rido and Katsuo had both said. They were **insane**. He had never wanted to kill anyone so badly until then.

And the fact…the fact that both of them wouldn't acknowledge him as 'Zero' but as '_Isamu'_ strangely grated on his already tattered nerves. Why were they calling him that? It only made him more infuriated. His fists were so tight that he felt blood oozing from his nails cutting his palm. Rido smelt it too, apparently, as his eyes darted to each of his hands, and he licked his lips again.

"Don't tempt me, Isamu," he purred, "D-Don't…D-d-"

And then he shuddered, his face scrunching up in distress. Zero felt the blood whips tremble wildly, loosening and tightening with the vibrations. He watched in awe as Rido growled, reaching to Shiki's torn face to claw at it again, the other hand was tearing the mattress. Zero saw a flash in Rido's red eye, a flicker of blue. He gasped, feeling the whip around his neck loosen enough for him to take a large breath, though this made his ribs press hard against the whips around his body.

"Sh-Shi-" _Shiki! _he managed to hiss, watching the boy in front of him convulse as he fought his father's mind. The blue eye wavered, and then settled, just as Shiki's body collapsed on the bed, panting and juddering. Zero was still caught in the whips though, which held him still against the bars of the cage. He sighed in relief though as they finally loosened, and Shiki lifted his head.

The blue-eyed boy trembled under Zero's gaze, even though Zero looked anything but angry now – only grateful that Shiki was back. The boy didn't seem to understand Zero's forgiving eyes though, since he immediately began to beg.

"I saw it!" he sobbed, shying away from Zero now, "I saw everything – I'm s-so sorry, Kiryuu! I'm s-sorry!"

Zero shook one of his arms free from a blood whip and held his hand against the cage firmly, shaking his head gently, "Shiki-" he began, his voice croaking slightly. He was about to forgive the boy, when the door opened.

And there was Kaname.

Zero strained his head to see him, wincing as his bruised muscles strained. He could see Kaname's horrified eyes taking in the scene, and suddenly realised how bad it must look – to have him wrapped in blood whips, pressed against the cage; Shiki sobbing brokenly on the bed.

They both watched the shock fade away in Kaname's eyes, soon replaced by fear, and then an all-consuming **rage**.

* * *

><p>The Infirmary was empty. Didn't Kaname say he'd meet him here?<p>

Kain checked all the rooms in the Infirmary, only finding a few nurses milling around and finding out that the doctor was in the restroom (_too much information_, he thought grimly). He eventually decided to go back to check the corridor. Maybe when Kaname had said 'Infirmary' he actually meant… aw hell, who was he kidding? He just was an impatient bastard who hated to sit down and wait for Kaname. He'd go _looking_ for Kaname instead.

So he went back to the door, and almost crashed into Ruka's side.

They bounced off each other, each yelling in shock.

The party he had bumped into consisted of both Vampire and _Hunter_ he immediately noticed, after shaking his head off from the small collision. There was Yagari (not a surprise after what Kaien had said), and a younger Hunter – _**Zero?**_ Immediately Kain thought it was Zero. He _looked_ like Zero, but for fuck's sake, when did Zero ever smile like _that_? Kain stared in shock as the _not-_Zero smiled friendly at him and bopped in a small polite bow.

"Hello," he said pleasantly.

That was when Kain thought: **this is definitely **_**not**_** Zero.**

"Hello," he replied awkwardly, looking to the others for an explanation.

Yagari pointed at the look-alike, "Kiryuu Ichiru,"

Kain thought: **for real? I thought he was **_**dead**_**. **But he wisely chose not to question anything for the moment – mainly because Ruka shot him a look which said clearly '_Shut up and accept it'_, so he did.

"Ah," he nodded, pointing to himself, "Kain Akatsuki,"

Ichiru nodded, gesturing to the group, "Would you care to join us? We're going to visit my brother,"

Kain blinked. He was utterly _lost_. Totally confused. The last time he had seen Zero, he'd been in the Infirmary – which he was clearly _not_ anymore. Neither was Kaname, who'd said he'd meet him there. These people were looking for Zero now, which suggested the fact that Zero was missing, because otherwise they _wouldn't_ be looking for him (obviously). Where was Kaname? Where was Zero? What the **fuck** were two Hunters doing here?

His mind was basically a funky mess full to the brim of questions.

"Uh…" was all he managed, before Ruka grabbed him by the shoulder and dragged him into the corridor to join them. He scowled at her, "I'm waiting for Kaname. He said he'd meet me here,"

"Well you'll come with us now," Ruka snapped, dragging him along with a strength he didn't know she possessed. But come to think of it, she looked pretty _pissed_. And when Ruka was pissed, she summoned a strength _many_ didn't know about-

"Where's Zero? I thought he was in the Infirmary too-"

Ruka dug her fingers into his shoulder, causing him to almost squeak in pain. She had sharp nails.

Her eyes warned him not to speak anymore, so he stayed silent as she explained things to him at a speed only Vampires could understand.

His eyes widened as he understood that:

_Zero was lost._

_Kaname was looking for him._

_They had two Hunters with them, one of which was going to stay (Ichiru) because he was Zero's new bodyguard._

_They had to buy time for Kaname to find Zero before they reached the library, otherwise the Hunters (particularly Yagari) would freak, knowing that they'd lost him in the first place._

_Ruka and Rima were mightily pissed at Zero for wandering off._

Kain eyed Rima's pinched lips, Ruka's angry flushed face, Yuuki's nervous expression and the Hunters' disturbed looks. He let out a loud sigh, looking uneasily at his cousin and raising his eyebrows in disbelief at the mess they were in.

"_Damn_," he drawled.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's note:<strong>

**Hey guys - now that you've read this chapter, _yeaaahh..._ about Ichiru.**

**ive kinda gone into a MAJOR _AU_ with his story - which will be explained in later chapters.**

**basically, just so you understand it now - obviously, Ichiru ain't dead.**

**In MY version, Zero did feed from Ichiru, but Ichiru didnt die from the feeding. (this will be explained)**

**bear with me guys, things are getting confusing, i KNOW, but things will be explained in due course. **


	66. Can You Ever Forget?

The blood whips were so loose on Zero now, that he just had to wriggle a little and they would all fall off of him. But he didn't dare move. Not when the tension in the room was so palpable that it was becoming hard to breathe. He heard Shiki sniff back his tears quietly, but the sound was as loud as a foghorn in the night. Kaname stepped forwards, the door closed shut simultaneously with an ominous _click_.

He went towards Zero first, smoothly crouching down to his sprawled body, he touched one of the blood whips.

Immediately all the whips exploded into splashes of hot liquid blood, splattering their faces and staining Zero, most of all, a vicious red. Since the whips were still connected to Shiki's fingertips, but they hadn't managed to return to his body, he felt the pain and let out a small muffled cry. Zero couldn't bring himself to look at him. In fact, he found himself turning somewhat irritated at how Kaname had barged in, just when Shiki returned. He obviously was trying to hurt Shiki on purpose, as one of his stupid _Pureblood punishments_. Despite the fact that it had been Shiki's body, _Shiki's powers_ which had almost choked him to death, Zero could not summon the will to hate him. In Zero's eyes Shiki was just as much the victim in all of this.

But in Kaname's eyes… Shiki was just as much the person responsible for all this.

So he was to be punished.

Kaname's eyes flashed maliciously when he heard Shiki cry out – Zero could _see_ this – and he made to go for Shiki again, when Zero grasped his ankle, gasping out, "**No**," _Don't hurt him_, he begged with an imploring gaze, _It wasn't his fault. Leave him be._

The tension built exponentially as Kaname considered this, eyeing Shiki darkly from the corner of his eyes, and also staring down at the prone Hunter on the floor, begging for his attacker's mercy.

Eventually he relented, turning away from Shiki's cage and bending back down to Zero on the floor. He looped his arms under Zero, gently lifting him into his cradled arms like a _baby_, which Zero **did not** appreciate.

"Kaname!" he hissed, though he saw by the grim tightening of Kaname's lips that this was not the time to complain, so he reluctantly allowed himself to be carried. His body was aching now, anyway, from being squashed so tightly against the cage, with his bruises squeezed to burning pain. So he slumped weakly in Kaname's hold, hating himself for his body for being so frail. To his discomfiture, he saw Kaname also staring down at him with a furrowed brow, and he fidgeted uncomfortably. "What?"

"Your bruises," Kaname said quietly, tracing the one that had appeared around his throat with his eyes– the imprint from the strangling blood whip. The shape of this bruise was not lost on Kaname, and he darted one last look at Shiki, before he was tugged back by Zero's attention. Zero who would not allow him to redeem the pain that had been dealt to him.

To Kaname, it completely did not matter anymore, whether it was Shiki or Rido who was in control – it was that _body_ and those **powers** which sought to injure Zero…

And that was unforgiveable.

"What did he do?" he said lowly, directing his gaze back onto Zero.

"Nothing," he said unconvincingly quickly. Zero knew his mistake, and watched Kaname's already strained features tighten further. He could feel Kaname's anger accumulating at a terrifying rate, bristling under his skin and muscles like a veritable bomb fuse been lit, and decided to elaborate a little to assuage the dangerous beast Kaname was becoming, "We talked,"

"The blood whips," Kaname insisted, needing to know why. _Why_ did he come here to find Zero pressed face-first to the cage by a mass of blood whips? No matter how you looked at it, the situation didn't look good.

"It doesn't matter!" Zero urged him, surprising himself by gripping Kaname's chin firmly as he tried to turn to glower at Shiki again. This touch shocked them both, and Zero quickly released him, but also sent him a stern look. "He didn't hurt me,"

Even as Zero said this, it didn't seem to convince Kaname very much, and he had to grab Kaname by the neck of his shirt to keep his attention away from Shiki. _Shiki…_ as Kaname turned towards the door, Zero swung his head over his shoulder to look one last time at Shiki, seeing the slashed cheek, the ruined face… Shiki had almost clawed half his face off as he tried to regain control of his body. As they left the room, it suddenly struck Zero – the wounds weren't healing…

* * *

><p>It was like playing a game – seeing how long and far they could go around the castle until one of the Hunters noticed they were going round in circles. Rima kept an eye out for Kaname anywhere, also keeping an ear open to any grumblings from the Hunters. If they noticed and started to question why they were going <em>nowhere<em>…she'd have to think up an answer real quick, because it seemed like the _others_ (Ruka, Kain and Yuuki) were being mighty _hopeless_. They just followed her, with the Hunters, looking seemingly confused as to what they were doing. The silence of their party was terribly unnerving, and if she could sweat in a situation like this, she would be soaking by now.

When Ruka suddenly spoke, all of them jumped at the sound of a _voice_ cutting the silence.

"Are you both hungry from your travels?" she graciously asked the Hunters, finding Ichiru smiling courteously and Yagari remaining unchanged.

The silver-haired boy shook his head, "I'm fine, thank you," and Yagari grunted too. Ruka's smile became a little bit stiff, but she simply nodded.

"You aren't thirsty, or need a rest?" she pressed – and it was then when Rima understood what she was doing. _A __**diversion**_.

The group were all slowing down, apart from _Rima_, who was continuing to walk faster. The gap between them was growing, as Ruka held the others back by asking little questions and trying to engage the Hunters in polite chit-chat. Rima finally understood why she was doing this – they were coming to the end of a corridor, where the door was shut. Already they had pretty much re-walked the whole side of the castle they had already searched before, and this door lead to the _other (unexplored) side_ where they had been planning to search next. Who knew if Zero and Kaname were behind this door? Who knew what type of shape Zero was in? Rima wasn't sure, but she thought maybe Ruka might have heard something she hadn't, something which may have let her known that Kaname was behind the door.

She sneakily zoomed to the door, peeked around it – her eyes widened as she saw at the very bottom of the corridor, Kaname carrying a _**bloodstained**_ _**Zero**_ out of a room and heading in her direction. She quickly shut the door, whizzing back to the group, which the Hunters noticed immediately. Rima tensed, seeing Yagari's hand instinctively go to his holster, but when he realised it was only her, they relaxed again. Rima remembered that day when Yagari had saved her life from the group of Level Es. She smiled at the gruff Hunter, finding herself pleased, not only relieved, that he had lowered his gun.

"Where did you go?"

It was Ichiru who had asked the question, and Rima inwardly flailed in panic. Her eyes darted to meet Ruka's, translating the fact that Kaname **was **behind the door and she knew she was a bad actor/liar so _what could they say?_ Ruka blinked, turning to the Hunters to speak, when Yuuki then spoke.

"That corridor up there is a mess," she said smoothly, pointing towards the shut door, she grinned sheepishly at Ichiru, "She was just checking to see if the maids were done cleaning it up again,"

Rima breathed a sigh of relief, nodding in firm agreement. She tried to ignore the dubious look in Yagari's eyes, and focused on the fact that, as far as she had seen from the corridor… from the speed that Kaname had been walking at, and the length of the corridor… she calculated they only had around twenty seconds to get out of the area, and out of the path of _**bloodstained Zero**_.

She cleared her throat lightly, "Yes. The maids aren't done, I'm afraid. We should go another way," she gestured to the side door, gently guiding Ichiru by the shoulder towards it. "That was a shortcut," she jerked a thumb to the _corridor they shouldn't go down_, smiling apologetically, "But this is a much more scenic route anyway,"

"What happened?" Ichiru asked softly, craning his neck towards the _avoided corridor_ as Rima opened the side door. She caught Yuuki's eye, finding the girl already smiling with another fresh lie on the tip of her tongue.

"Oh, it was just a little accident with some glass. There are shards everywhere there, so it's dangerous to walk," she said easily, watching Yagari enter the side corridor in satisfaction.

For a moment, Ichiru lingered in the doorway, his eyes staring at Yuuki uncertainly. Ruka began to panic this time, but to her surprise Ichiru grinned at her and mouthed, "_Really?"_

She almost gaped at him, but managed to only quirk a twitching eyebrow at him, much to his amusement, since the Hunter's eyes twinkled brightly. Ruka bit her lips and then motioned for him to keep quiet, holding a finger to her lips.

To her relief Ichiru followed Yagari, and then a perplexed Kain was roughly shoved in non-too-gently by Ruka before he could ask any questions and ruin the beautiful white lie Yuuki had expertly spun. Rima was, truth be told, shocked that Yuuki was such a good little liar, but she was too grateful to say anything about it, and held the door open for their saviour.

She waited till everyone was in the next corridor, slipped in herself, and then shut the door.

Little did she know, but her timing was absolutely perfect.

As soon as she shut the door, the other one opened, and Kaname burst through carrying bloodstained Zero down the corridor.

* * *

><p>Kaname took Zero to his room, since it was the closest, and he quickly dashed into the bathroom and deposited him straight into the bath.<p>

"Wash," he said, unrolling the bathroom rug rapidly, "As quickly as you can,"

After this he closed the bathroom door behind him at once and rushed to his wardrobe to pick out some clean clothes.

Zero stared at the door blearily, still dizzy from the mad-run Kaname had done to get to the room. He had barely seen anything other than the beyond pissed expression on Kaname's face and the strands of dark hair that wildly spun in the breeze he generated. He couldn't do anything but feel the deep warm press of the left side of his body into Kaname's chest, being pressed into him by the backwards force of their rapid forwards movement, like the take-off of a plane.

He looked down at his blood-soaked clothing with a grimace, and began peeling the wet fabric off his skin and dropped it onto the white tiled floor with a wet squelch. His skin, it was no longer white _anywhere_. Either it was purplish-red from the bruises or red-brown stained from Shiki's blood. _Shiki!_

The image was stuck in his mind – of Shiki curled up on the bloody mattress, so pale, weak from blood-loss…

"Kaname!"

The Pureblood who was picking out a pair of black trouser and a dark blue Henley shirt, paused in his rummaging. "Yes?" he called, instantly dropping the clothing onto the bed and rushing to the bathroom door. It was an irrational fear, but if something had happened – "Is something the matter? Are you al-"

"Kaname," Zero said in apparent exasperation, "I'm fine. I just wanted to know, what's going to happen to Shiki?"

At this, Kaname sighed and rested his forehead against the wood of the door. "Nothing will happen,"

Zero wasn't so sure. He'd seen the murderous intent in Kaname's eyes when he was ready to bore down on Shiki with all the wrath of a… of a… well – there was no comparison to the fury in his eyes in any case. It made Zero's stomach churn when he thought about what Shiki – no, _Rido and Katsuo_ had said to him, but Shiki was innocent. He grasped the sides of the bathtub, hoisting himself out so he could start the shower head.

"Are you washing in there?" Kaname called through the door.

Zero grit his teeth, passing his hand through the still-chilly water. He didn't understand the rush, but he plunged into the water anyway with a shuddering sigh, finding his aches surprisingly well-soothed by the fresh, cool water. The urgency in Kaname's voice told him that they were, as always it seemed, short on time. But eventually the water warmed, and he found the cool refreshing shower melted into an even more relaxing balmy temperature.

"Y-Yes!" he yelled, taking a bar of soap and beginning to lather himself. The water swirling around his toes was a bright pink, and he found the bubbles on his skin also pink. There was a _lot_ of blood to wash off. Zero sniffed the soap bar, finding it faintly scented with mint. Hopefully it would cover the scent of blood. He rubbed the soap in his hair, not knowing where the shampoo was, and finding himself subconsciously rushing from the obvious lack of time they had.

Kaname rolled across the doorway to lean against the wall, closing his eyes and rubbing them ferociously with his knuckles as he tried to stem away the budding headache just behind them. He smelt the thick fog of steam coming from the shower and sighed in relief. The overpowering scent of Zero's blood-drenched clothing had been very disturbing – or was it the sight of him drenched in blood?

Meanwhile, Zero was rinsing the last of the soap suds off himself, also scanning the room for towels. This had to be the fastest shower he'd ever had, and he still to be honest, felt filthy with blood. Perhaps it was just the stink of it on his dirtied clothes, but Zero knew it would take a good _long_ shower to rid himself of the feeling of being blood-soaked. That type of stain tended to linger, not just on the clothes or skin, but in the mind.

He shut off the water, groaning when he found his fingertips covered in blood once more, from where his dirtied fingers had touched them before – but what could he do? So he ignored it, stepping gingerly onto the bath rug. He hesitated, and then ducked down to wipe his fingers on it. It was just a bath rug, right? It didn't matter much – ah, why was he worrying about things like this? They were short on time! Zero huffed, tiptoeing over to the stack of towels and grabbing two. He wrapped one around his waist and the other over his shoulders. As he did, he found himself in front of the sink, and, like in a hotel, he found a new wrapped toothbrush waiting for him on the countertop.

Seeing as he hadn't brushed his teeth in a while now (actually, thinking about that made him feel really unhygienic, so Zero pretended he hadn't realised this), he unpacked it and began to brush his teeth. But as he did _this_, he lifted his gaze to the large, wide mirror, the edges of which were steamed. His hand froze, the froth on his mouth barely noticed as he stared at himself.

Suddenly that one name came back to him, the one Katsuo had called him first.

"_**Isamu**_,"

Isamu.

Zero tilted his head to the side, examining himself. His flushed-yet-still-pale complexion and slim, angular face; the shaggy mess of dampened mercury-coloured hair stuck to his face; his slightly slanted violet eyes.

There was no denying it. He _could_ see the resemblance he held to the Isamu he had seen in the Memories. But why had Katsuo called him that? Maybe he didn't know Zero by any other name. The more Zero looked at himself, he began to see how startlingly similar he looked to his ancestor. Even the shape of his nose, the curve of his neck – Zero wasn't a vain person, so he rarely took into account how he looked. He didn't make an effort to look at himself often, and as long as he was clean and his hair was trimmed out of his eyes, he was content. But after he'd spent a lifetime staring at his ancestor Isamu, he pretty much memorised what he looked like and knew every last detail of his face. And now that he was finally looking at himself, and he knew what _he _looked like too, he couldn't deny the almost identical face he shared with Isamu.

"Zero?"

The voice snapped him out of his trance, he found himself staring for far too long at himself, and he blushed at his vanity, turning away. He couldn't look at himself again. The fact that he had been examining himself so closely shocked him. Why should he care that he looked like his ancestor? That was perfectly natural. Obviously he just took after him a lot, appearance-wise. Perhaps he had fooled Katsuo into thinking he was Isamu. That was…unfortunate. Zero finished cleaning his teeth and wiped his face on the towel around his neck, at the same time he went to open the door.

Zero almost yelped in shock when he found Kaname right beside him, casually leaning against the wall. He glowered at the Pureblood, hating how he sniggered at the pissed off expression on his face. Why hadn't he sensed him there? Well, recently he'd found, sensing Vampires was becoming difficult. Maybe it was something to do with his blood disease. He didn't know. All he knew was that now Kaname and others could sneak up on him, and as long as they were silent (and odourless), he would not suspect a thing.

The idea was horrifying, and Zero let Kaname know how much he didn't like it by slapping him hard on the arm. His famous deathly glare said '_Snap out of it,'_ and Kaname did. Then Kaname went over to the bed and pointed to his pick of clothes, which Zero quickly took back into the bathroom. Kaname had even picked out a pair of boxers… which mad Zero wrinkle his nose at the idea of sharing underwear, but he had no choice, so he pulled them on as well as the other clothes. As he joined Kaname in his bedroom again, he found he had to roll up the sleeves and he almost tripped on the hems of the trousers. Again he had to scowl at Kaname to shut him up.

But polite as always, Kaname managed to reign in a snigger, and instead knelt down to help roll up the trouser legs too. Zero flushed hotly, batting Kaname's head away and quickly adjusting the hems by himself. What was he playing at? He narrowed his eyes at the Pureblood, watching him stand upright again coolly.

Kaname nodded at him briefly, and then he reached over and grabbed the towel off his shoulders, dropping it on Zero's head and vigorously rubbing his hair dry. Zero squawked, blindly fighting Kaname off, but the Pureblood persisted, and finally his rubbing slowed and gentled till Zero found it tolerable. He struggled to speak, with the towel and his own hair covering his mouth.

"Why are we rushing?" he managed to mumble.

The towel slowed again, so he could hear Kaname. "We have guests waiting to see you, in the library,"

Guests? For a few moments Zero's mind was blank. And then he realised the only few people who '_guests'_ could mean, regarding himself. It had to be either Kaien or Yagari then. He opened his mouth to ask again, but Kaname spoke before he could.

"Your sensei, he's brought you a personal bodyguard,"

At this, Zero bristled, "_Bodyguard?"_

Kaname chuckled, "Yes. But don't worry. I think he's only taking the opportunity to visit you again. His choice of bodyguard doesn't seem suitable, from what I know,"

"Oh?"

"The boy would not be my first choice for the job," Kaname said simply, pulling the towel off his head and shrugging at him, "A little bit… weak. He's a nice boy, but I don't think he suits _bodyguard_ duties. Frankly, I think the whole thing is a bit of a ruse,"

Zero blinked, considering what Kaname was saying. That Yagari-sensei was conducting a ruse… he gasped, turning to Kaname. "You think he's sending in-"

"-a spy," Kaname nodded, "Possibly. I don't really mind, or blame Yagari for what he has chosen to do, if that is the case. The Hunters might not ever trust us, just as the Vampires might never fully trust them. If it's a personal grudge Yagari has against me, which stems this distrust, then I am still unconcerned by his actions. It will do neither one of us harm, except for the _lack of trust between two allies during war_," he drawled, rolling his eyes at Zero slowly. Zero found himself smiling, and even covered his mouth to hide his humoured grin. It was just the way Kaname spoke which made him smile, and the fact that he could picture his grumpy sensei and his overprotective, cynical personality and the very believable idea that it was just his 'grudge' against Kaname which had him sending in a spy.

It was true what Kaname said though. _The lack of trust between two allies during war_… it was never good to have allies spying on each other. Trust was the bond that made armies succeed. Trust was what was required for them to cooperate efficiently. What was worse than going into war with a colleague you couldn't trust enough to give your life for them to protect in their hands?

"We'd best not keep Yagari-sensei waiting then," he said, finding his grin widening as Kaname laughed quietly. "He isn't the most patient of fellows,"

"He's quite a personality," Kaname nodded, "I wouldn't like to see him mad,"

"Oh, definitely not," Zero agreed with a snort.

"He's dangerous?"

"He eats Vampires for breakfast,"

"Oh, really?" Kaname gasped, causing Zero to laugh. Then Kaname took Zero's arm and began to lead them out of the room. It barely registered anymore when Kaname steadied him with an arm around his waist. Unfortunately he was becoming used to his dependent body, and leaned quite heavily on Kaname's supporting arm.

They walked (Zero stumbled actually) briskly back down towards the Infirmary. Zero scowled as he realised that the library was in exactly the opposite direction to the one he had chosen upon leaving the Infirmary in the first place. His good sense of direction had vanished at that moment, sending him opposite to where he had intended.

"I apologise for ruining our good humour, but may I ask why you were wandering around the castle?"

Zero looked sideways at Kaname, finding his face without a smile anymore. The good humour was _definitely _ruined now. "I felt better, so I wanted to help… in fact, I was aiming to get to the library to help with research,"

He felt a warm gust of breath as Kaname sighed heavily, and anger bubbled up inside him as he felt Kaname's arms tense and shift around him – the Pureblood wasn't happy. But he wasn't angry either. He was acting like an exasperated parent, and Zero was the foolish wandering child who'd gotten into trouble. But Zero did _not_ appreciate this analogy. He was _not_ some foolish child.

"So why were you in Shiki's room?"

Zero scowled, "I got lost," – _this_ unfortunately only made him feel more _foolish_.

"Why did you stay there? You know that Shiki is a danger most of all to you," Kaname berated softly, looking down his nose at Zero with slow patience.

"He was all alone," – the smallness and frailness of his voice just made him feel more _childish_.

The words sprang from his lips before he could think them up. But the answer was true – seeing Shiki all alone, _caged_ from the world… it had startled Zero. It had made him remember the time where he'd been imprisoned by the Hunters' Association, and he'd been locked in a dank dirty cell that stank of ages of bloodshed from the Vampires that had been imprisoned there for centuries past. Shiki's cage wasn't so different to that (apart from the fact that he had a bed, but the cage looked like it had been built _through_ the bed, the bars going straight through the mattress, cutting a quarter of it off) – small, dark and stinking of blood.

All he could remember was the feeling of self-pity and self-hate, mixing in a dismal brew. The loneliness and vulnerability of being locked up… he couldn't help but pity Shiki, and want to be there as some sort of comfort.

"You shouldn't have been there. You should have left-"

"Well I _didn't_, Kaname!" _What's done is done, _he wanted to snarl. But Kaname did before he could –

"You're _asking _for trouble!" Kaname _snarled_, and Zero's face turned red.

"I was _not_ asking for trouble! I was trying to comfort your cousin, who you've locked up in the dark-"

"For good reason – he's an **infection** to us all!" the Pureblood roared, "I'll have him _dealt with,"_

Suddenly Zero felt nauseous, like he'd just gotten Shiki into more trouble, just by defending him. He gripped Kaname's arm, trying to pry himself free. "What will you do?"

Kaname avoided his eyes steadfastly, pressing forwards even faster – clearly he was choosing to ignore Zero, but Zero wouldn't stand for this, "Come, we must hurry-"

"_What will you do?_" Zero yelled, wrestling himself free. Kaname's arms fell limp by his sides, and he finally reached Zero's eyes with guilt in his. "He's your _cousin_! He's your _friend_, Kaname! You know it's not his fault!"

"I know. But what can I do? If he isn't stopped, he will deal much more harm to us than you can imagine. This was just the start. Right now Rido is only playing with us. Soon enough it will turn serious – I can't let that happen,"

Zero shook his head resolutely, folding his arms tightly. Even though he didn't know Shiki well, it just felt wrong to punish him for being a victim.

"What will you do?" he repeated more calmly.

"Most likely, I will send him away," Kaname muttered, running a hand through his hair, "He must be kept away from you, most of all," Kaname caught Zero's arm and his intense gaze bore into him, "You said he talked to you. What did he say?"

Zero jerked backwards, biting his lip. The conversation, the taunts came back to him all of a sudden… he only now realised the implications of what he had heard. Since this Kaname, the one he was right now with, had already confessed to them all that he was Kaname the Ancestor… and as far as Zero knew, that Kaname was the lover of Isamu… he had heard…he had heard…

_You screamed that like a whore when I touched you. Kicking, screaming… _

_I'll eat your filthy blood, and ravage you before his eyes. Then he'll feel the pain of losing. Finally he'll understand the pain…_

_Isamu…_

How could he tell Kaname this? How could he tell him the things Katsuo had done, the things Rido planned to do? All of these things were aimed at Kaname's lover, Isamu. Would it not break his heart to hear what had been done…?

The fact that the things aimed at Isamu were being directed towards _Zero_ now, didn't help make it any easier to say. Kaname was his friend, and he seemed to be the type of friend who was extremely overprotective over his friends. He could guess that Kaname wouldn't react well to what he'd heard.

He sucked in a deep breath, and forced himself to look Kaname in the eyes.

"He called me Isamu,"

Kaname stared at him for a moment, his mouth dropping open rather comically, but then he closed his eyes and simply _nodded_, like he had been expecting this. His eyes had been frightening, looking like they were seeing right through Zero. It was because of this that Zero knew that Kaname knew there was a _lot _more that Zero was not saying, and that Zero would refuse to tell Kaname all of what had been said.

The Pureblood looped his arm around Zero, and they began walking again.

"What do you know of Isamu?" His chest rumbled from the vibrations in his low, quiet voice.

Zero sighed, closing his eyes, "I saw the Memories. I know about Isamu,"

Kaname's whole body tensed, but he did not stop walking, nor did he otherwise seem horrified by it.

What Zero didn't see was that Kaname's face _was_ horrified, as he looked down at him. _I know about Isamu_. How much? How much did he know? Why didn't Zero hate him? He looked down at the weak Hunter, the curve of his body leant so closely to his own, and suddenly the whole situation became clear to Kaname.

Zero trusted him.

They were friends now (how could he forget). Zero trusted him as his friend. He…Maybe he didn't _know_. Maybe he had seen everything, but he didn't _know_ that he should hate Kaname, because he didn't understand what Kaname had done. It was frustrating, not knowing what Zero now knew. He didn't know how to approach things. He didn't know what he could say.

But they had to talk about it eventually. They had to talk about everything Zero had seen in the Memories, and get things all out in the open, and _then _Zero would definitely hate him.

"We will talk about it later," he offered, feeling Zero nod against his arm.

He carefully guided Zero around a sharp corner, because Zero's eyes were closed, and he was so – he was _too_ trusting. Because with his eyes closed he was vulnerable. With his eyes closed he had to protect –

* * *

><p>Kain watched in amusement at the young Hunter spiralled slowly, absorbing the magnificence that was the Kuran Library – it's ceiling-high bookshelves, all made of old polished mahogany and oak, with its small study tables and comfortable chairs and plush settees. Ruka was curled up on one of these settees, with her head diligently bent and her nose almost brushing the page of the book she clutched. The sight was so uncanny that Kain felt strange just looking at her <em>study<em>. He himself was so unimpressed by _libraries_, being so used to being in them with Aidou for long periods of time, that he just observed the group with some amusement.

Yagari was sat in one of the comfortable chairs, his heavy boots stacked on the study table, tilting his chair back into a carefully balanced recline. Yuuki was sat with Rima, both of them watching Ichiru silently. And the young Hunter was just spinning like a child, his mouth slightly agape as he took in everything slowly. A curl of a smile graced Yagari's lips, watching his student.

Then the door opened, and they all turned to see Kaname supporting Zero through the door.

Yagari leapt to his feet, marching straight over to his student and taking him from Kaname's arms. He was very brief, but scrupulous with his examination of his student, checking him for injury and grimacing at the bruises that littered his skin still.

But it was the young Hunter which caught Kain's attention. He had stopped spinning.

Ichiru was staring at his brother with a soft, uncertain smile on his face, so delicate that it could be broken so easily, with just the wrong words. And Zero had broken from his sensei's embrace, and was gawking at his younger brother, eyes so wide that Kain had to stifle his laughter.

He took a step towards him. And then another. And then he practically stumbled into Ichiru, who caught him with open arms.

The younger brother's arms wound around Zero's waist, drawing them so close that their identical faces were rested on each others' shoulders. One face was still frozen in awe, whilst the other one was warmed with a smile. And then Zero's overhanging arms came to fold over Ichiru's shoulders, and rest on his back, clutching the material of his shirt tightly in his fists. A sob escaped his mouth, but then, no more. And Ichiru trembled under the weight of his brother's weak body, but he did not let go.

Kain marvelled at the way which Zero managed to make:

"You bastard! I thought you were _dead_,"

Sound like:

'_Hello, I missed you, brother,"_


	67. Blood Of My Blood

**Author's note:**

**My darlings, do you know how wonderful your reviews make me feel? Ahhh, I always feel the urge to write more when I see them, when I read them. **

**Thank you so much for reading! I'm completely blown away by how well-received this is! Truly flattered. **

**I'm sorry how the gaps between updates are now per day or few days, but now I'm aiming for quality writing, more than speed. Not that the previous chapters weren't my best efforts… at least I think they were okay… well, I just want to make them better! You all appear to be pleased with my story yet, but I want to always impress you, and keep your reading happy!**

**There is always room for improvement – so I will try harder each time, that I promise XD**

**Btw. I've kinda forgotten, from both manga and anime, but do they have phones/mobile phones in VK? I'm pretty sure they do. But if they don't… **_**now**_** they do XD**

* * *

><p>The sight of the brothers reuniting even made their cantankerous sensei smile, and yet, even in his brother's warm embrace, Zero pulled slightly away to peer over his shoulder at his sensei, who did not look at <em>all<em> stunned to see Ichiru alive. In fact, if what he had been told was true, it was _Yagari_ who had brought Ichiru here. _How?_ – was the only question he kept asking himself, though it was also mixed with _why?_ How long had this secret been kept? The whole year, or had Ichiru only recently been found alive? Why was he not told about his brother?

Brimming full of questions, Zero made to open his mouth and speak, when Yagari raised his hand to stop him. His mouth snapped shut, but he glared at his sensei, subconsciously tightening his hold on Ichiru.

Ichiru…

Zero marvelled at the warm comfort of his brother's arms. How long had it been since they'd embraced like this? Far too long – and yet he could still find familiarity in the arms he'd so missed. Ichiru's heart was alive, beating perfectly in time with his own, slow and strong against his chest, and it somehow made his eyes sting when he realised _how much he had missed __**this**_. When he'd seen Ichiru dead on the floor, he'd put a lid on his emotions, regarding _family_. There was no family left in the world for him. Not even Yagari could count, because although he was always there when it mattered, it wasn't the same as sharing the same blood – the same kin. It made Zero's heart ache, and he buried his face in Ichiru's hair to hide the tears that managed to escape his burning eyes.

"You were dead," he whispered, "You were _gone_…"

"Almost," Ichiru agreed, tightening his arms even more, and Zero felt wetness on his shoulder too. When one was crying, as always, the other would soon follow. In that moment, his older-brother instincts revealed themselves once more, and he carded his fingers through Ichiru's longer hair and murmured comforting words in his ear.

For Kaname and the others (except Yagari), it was a complete novelty to see Zero acting this way – so gentle and loving. The moment was so fragile that they had to respectfully turn away, feeling as though their gazes would break the tender moment. Though Kaname's eyes lingered on them a couple seconds longer, his eyes drinking in the flushed, adoring face of one Kiryuu Zero with undeniable interest. It was truly a touching sight, watching the way he wrapped himself around Ichiru, like he was a shield protecting him from the outside world. The Bond, that leashed him to Zero, from the moment he came within range to him snapped _taut_ and urged him to go closer to Zero –

_go to him, take the place of his kin, hold him close, don't let him –_

so he held his arms by his sides robotically, fighting the call of the Bond. Luckily the Bond didn't loathe Ichiru (who was taking _his_ place in Zero's arms, _**his – **_), since he was Zero's kin and that made him tolerable. He watched the brothers, and to his embarrassment felt himself _imagining_: seeing Zero's willowy arms, and imagining how they felt wrapped around his own body, what the press of Zero's body felt against his own (though he knew how he felt carried in his arms, it was not the same). The illusory phantom touch, held in his mind's eye, was so warm that he found his cheeks heating up slightly at the thought of it.

He found himself imagining it so deeply, longing for the warm touch so _badly_…

That eventually Kaname found his own arms subconsciously wrapping around himself in a pitiable imitation of a hug, but for some reason, instead of comforting himself, it only made him feel more hollow. His arms, which he held around himself almost like a shield, didn't manage to block out the loneliness, but rather encased him in his solitude. His Bond with Zero would never be quite as inherent as the bond shared between brothers. He would never… he would never…

For Yagari, the image was all the more beautiful, and dearly missed. He was transported back in time, six years if not more, to when the twins had been merely children. They had been such sweet children – not perfect in the least, but he still treasured his memories of being with them and seeing them like this – together.

He stepped forwards, placing a hand on either twin's shoulder, and turned to Kaname (surprisingly enough).

"If you don't mind, I think we need some privacy,"

Kaname raised his head affirmatively, gesturing at the others to vacate the room, and then at a door on the adjacent wall, "That room is a parlour, if you find yourself in need of rest," he explained, turning to look at Zero specifically, "_He_ definitely will be in need of it,"

The dark-haired hunter glanced at Zero determinedly, and nodded. He grunted in thanks as Kaname shut the door quietly.

* * *

><p>The click of the door shutting was somehow sounded ominous to Rima. Maybe it was because as soon as it sounded, their leader spun round with a frighteningly frosty look in his eyes, despite his otherwise stoic expression. On top of that, his eyes centred on <em>her<em>.

Rima held her breath, bracing herself for one of Kaname's famous all-mighty slaps.

But it didn't come. She opened one eye (wondering when she had even shut them) to see Kaname's eyes still staring harshly at her, but his mouth twitching slightly. This wasn't the usual routine.

Kaname then closed _his_ eyes.

"I don't know whether to be grateful, or completely _mad_ with you, Rima," he said in a soft, but dangerous voice, causing Rima to recoil, more so than she would have had she been slapped, "You've done a fine job of taking care of my dear Yuuki, who is of course, of great importance to me," he wrapped an arm around his sister's waist, smiling at her and receiving a sweet smile in return. And then his voice turned harsh again, and his gaze snapped unrelenting on Rima, "But you failed to keep Zero, _and_ Shiki safe!"

"Kaname, it was _not_ her fault," Yuuki said from under his arm, tugging on his coat lapel imploringly, "It was all just bad timing-"

"I _refuse_ to accept any excuses!" he snapped, even causing Yuuki to shiver, "There is _nothing_ which can undo the damage which has happened,"

To all their surprise, Ruka dared place a hand on Kaname's shoulder, and ignoring the danger of his glare, she surprised them further by asking, "Is Kiryuu alright?"

Kaname's jaw tightened, but he nodded brusquely, "Physically, yes. But he told me Rido spoke to him through Shiki. We have no _idea_ what he may have been told, and **that** worries me greatly.

"Sometimes words can be the more destructive than weapons. All it takes is a few words – a small seed planted in your mind, which will fester and force you to think false things. Above most other things, Rido is _persuasive _and _cunning_. I don't know what he has said, and I don't know what Zero _believes_ from what he has said, but it is likely that Rido has told Zero something which will cause him pain, or otherwise harm him. What I do know is that we are now suffering from innumerable invisible demons.

"Shiki's curse may be an affliction on his body, but it is also an _infection_ to us. Already Zero has been infected too.

"It's **just** as dangerous!" Kaname exclaimed, spinning on his heel and storming down the corridor.

His friends loyally hurried after him, waiting for orders to be given and followed. Rima was struggling not to fall down onto her knees in atonement, since Kaname's overpowering Pureblood aura was weighing down on her shoulders and forcing only guilt to saturate her mind. Kain clapped her on the back, shooting her a charming grin to curb the anxiety within her. Even though Kaname might be mad with her, his punishments were laughably mild, and the worst type of beating he gave was his _famous face-slaps_. Most other Purebloods would smack them silly for making feeble mistakes or not respecting them properly. Kaname was far too kind – they were _most undeniably_ spoilt by his generosity (which Takuma constantly reminded Kaname of). Kain's little supportive nudge against Rima told her that it would be okay, that Kaname wouldn't be cruel, only incredibly pissed.

Rima smiled back weakly at him, and they followed the quick steps of their irate leader, with a strange sort of compassion for him in their minds.

* * *

><p>The three of them sat in the parlour, the brothers sharing the couch and their sensei on the adjacent armchair. Zero was half-reclining on the couch, forced to rest after he had collapsed in Ichiru's arms, although he defiantly kept his eyes open, refusing to sleep. Even though his body was on the edge of exhaustion, his mind was still buzzing and he was wide awake.<p>

He couldn't take his eyes off Ichiru.

Just sitting beside him, having him there… Zero couldn't get over the fact that he was _alive_. He had cried minimally, too proud to let even his closest family see him at his weakest, but the strain of his emotions beat his already weakened body into a slump.

But after a good while of _resting_, Zero's mind had finally settled into some order, and his suddenly livid eyes fell onto _Yagari_. He knew that even if he wanted to fly off the couch to (try to) beat his beloved sensei's head in, he wouldn't be able to, not with his body in this state. So he tried to at least boil Yagari's head alive with the ferocity of his famous glaring eyes.

Without prompting, Yagari tipped his head in acknowledgement, and surprisingly enough, removed his hat, placing it onto the coffee table. This action held both brothers' attention, since somehow, it conveyed the gravity of what their sensei was about to say.

Yagari cleared his throat before he began.

"Last year," he spoke quietly, "Some things had to be kept a secret,"

Immediately Zero's mouth opened, yet he was silenced with a warning glare from Yagari, well-trained into obedience by his sensei. A rebellious twinge in Zero allowed him to let a small hiss escape his lips. He knew how Yagari hated that sound – the sound of a severely pissed off Vampire, and some satisfaction in that showed in Zero's almost-sneer.

"My brother," Zero bit out, snapping his hand out rigidly towards Ichiru, "You couldn't tell me he was alive? You let me think _that he was __**dead**__?"_

"Nii-chan,"

Zero's head spun to Ichiru, and he took his hand right away, eyes softening instantly on Ichiru. It was like he thought he wasn't the one weak and fragile, but _Ichiru_ was. He held Ichiru's hand in his like he was lending him strength, though he was the one hurt. Yagari's heart clenched at Zero's constant soft heart. Always, always he had been the stronger of the two. He had to protect Ichiru – it was almost a compulsion, where Ichiru's safety and wellbeing meant more to Zero than his own.

"Let sensei speak," Ichiru pleaded softly, his eyes fixed imploringly on Zero's as he let his hand be taken, "Many things have to be explained,"

Zero's lips pinched stubbornly, shooting a still-furious glare at Yagari (which even made his impervious skin itch), but he assented with a small sigh.

"After you left your imprisonment," Yagari said carefully, watching his hot-headed student wince, "After feeding from Ichiru," Zero released Ichiru's hand, but it was Ichiru's turn to grip his hand in his, "I received a call, from Ichiru,"

"A…A call?"

"On his phone, yes," Yagari shrugged, "You know how rarely I change my mobile phones. It takes too long to get used to new ones, and I fucking hate technology. My number hasn't changed for ages,"

"Ichiru…had your number?" Zero blinked, turning to his brother in disbelief. First of all – why would Yagari think that Ichiru was alive at _all_? Ever since the night their parents were murdered, Zero had been under the impression that Ichiru had been killed by Shizuka too. He thought that Yagari was under that impression as well, so why then did he not find it **absolutely astounding** that Ichiru was alive? Zero had only known Ichiru survived Shizuka's attack when he was stopped from attempting to kill her (although he hadn't known she was already dead) by him. But Yagari hadn't been there – he hadn't received any evidence to suggest that Ichiru was alive – Zero hadn't even told him his discovery yet. So how did he know?

It was only then when Zero realised that the "secrets" Yagari had kept from him had had to have run on for much longer than he thought. It wasn't just from last year, that Yagari began to keep these _secrets_ from **him**.

"This has to be explained from the beginning," he said lowly, raising his eyes (which stung again, annoyingly) to his sensei and his brother. They both met his eyes in solemn agreement.

"Where is the 'beginning'?" Yagari asked quietly.

Zero sucked in a long, shuddering breath and dug the heels of his hands in his eyes, "I th-think…" he mumbled, struggling to face that… _that_… "I think _**that**__**night**_," he whispered, though the sound carried over the silent room, filling it with tension. Zero nodded blindly, biting back a sob, "I think _your secrets _started from that night – the night we lost our parents, Ichiru. Isn't that right?"

* * *

><p>"<strong>On the night our parents died…<strong>

_When his eyes opened, he didn't at first understand why he had woken. Usually it was when the temperature dipped and his body ached from being curled up so tight to preserve his body heat which woke him up in the middle of the night. Ichiru drew up his covers from where he'd kicked them down, and drew them up to his chin, even though he felt alright, and the heavy duvet was actually too warm and uncomfortable for him. He pushed them down a little and stretched the covers so he had room to move onto his left side. Immediately his eyes centred on what appeared to be white snow falling outside his window. In autumn? _

_Ichiru left his bed quietly, leaning his hands against the cold glass of his window in awe as he looked out on the beautiful scene of tiny clumps of white falling softly to the ground. Already the yard was coated in them, and a small fringe of white coated the outside window sill. As Ichiru bent down to peer at the snow, he realised it _wasn't_ snow, but blossoms. Blossoms in autumn? Both the idea of snow and blossoms in autumn whirled around Ichiru's head in a dizzy mess, neither of them making sense, both of them bizarre._

_And then he jumped, hearing a loud _thump_. The sound vibrated in the silence, and drew Ichiru's attention away from the snow. Often thumps in the night were cats running on the rooftops, he'd been told. But those noises were more of a "pitter-patter" sound, than the loud _thump_ he'd heard. And the _thump_ sounded like it came from far away, not overhead._

_Ichiru crept towards the Infirmary door and placed his hand on it lightly. It was in his nature to be hesitant, so he let his hand lay on the doorknob gently as he considered going to investigate the noise. If his mother or father heard him out of bed, they'd immediately take him back and spend the rest of the night lecturing him about disobeying _the rules_. But that noise had been very worrying, and though Ichiru was scared by it, he was more curious of its origin. Perhaps it was a rob-_

_His hand tightened on the doorknob, and he made to twist it open._

_But then his fear suddenly consumed him, and he found his whole arm – no, his whole _body_ shaking like a leaf, and his fingertips rolled off the side of the doorknob. Why was Zero screaming? Was the thump him? Was he hurt-?_

Get a hold of yourself, Kiryuu, _he told himself calmly, and made to open it again._

_There was a loud _crash_ and the sound of things being thrown about. Ichiru winced, imagining the robber being so careless and ruining their home. He could imagine his father's fury at seeing their home destroyed, his eyes calculating the costs of the damages and categorising what they had left from the brute's ransacking-_

_The next moment, Ichiru froze as he heard an ear-splitting scream. _

Zero_._

_And then again, his fear stopped him, just as his fingers touched the doorknob. Zero had always told him that if there was danger, he should run or hide. Ichiru could run and hide better than he could fight – that was why Zero told him this. He was afraid. He was frightened. He didn't want to go and see what was beyond the door. He-_

What's your excuse, Kiryuu? _he heard a voice in his head, which sounded very much like Yagari-sensei, speak. Ichiru bit back a whimper. _Are you afraid? Zero could be **dead** by now. He could be dead and **you didn't help him**.

_To Ichiru's horror, his eyes bugged open when he realised the screaming had _stopped_._

_Zero had stopped…he'd stop-_

_Ichiru slowly twisted the doorknob open, hearing it click ever so quietly. He shivered as a draught blew into the room, rustling his loose pyjamas, and mussing his hair. He stepped out into the corridor. _

_Just as he did, he realised – where were his mother and father? Didn't they hear Zero scream? If they had, why hadn't he heard their footsteps thundering down the stairs to him? _

_On top of that – why was Zero downstairs in the first place? He found his questions met with silence, and that scared him even more. Ichiru suddenly returned to the Infirmary to slip his mobile phone into his breast-pocket. His mother and father always made sure he and Zero slept with their mobile phones nearby, in case they had an emergency, and the land-line was cut off – their parents were quite paranoid, but at the moment Ichiru was grateful for their insistence. Somehow, the solid weight of the phone in his small hands, the knowledge that he could call for help if whatever he faced further on was too much for him to handle, comforted him._

_He squeezed it in his hands as he ventured once more out of the room and into the corridor. Ichiru walked silently on his bare cold feet, finding that the sharp sensation kept him more alert and grounded._

_The Infirmary was at the very end of the Kiryuu house, on the ground floor, and the corridor led into a row of open rooms: the kitchen, opening into the dining room and living room, and then the hall, and the staircase which led upstairs._

_Ichiru pushed open the door to the living room, and looked straight down the open gaps of the open door-frames to see disaster in the living room. From this distance, he could just see the glinting shards of broken china and glass, and the books scattered everywhere from the bookshelves. And peeking just out behind the wall was a small tuft of silver hair._

_His heart went to his throat. _

_Without even thinking that the intruder may still be there, Ichiru ran as fast as he could, straight towards the living room, and at the open doorway he stopped, gagging from the stench of blood that flooded his nostrils. He spun facing away from his older brother's body, tears springing to his eyes as he covered his face in sorrow. _

_He was too late. He didn't make it. _

_Zero. _

"_Zero," he sobbed, crashing onto his knees, right into the broken glass –this pain just made him more aware that _this wasn't a nightmare_. Zero was d- "Nii-chan!" he cried, crawling over to his brother's side and dragging his head onto his lap, "Wake up! Wake up!" he shook him desperately._

_As he shook him, his fingers brushed fell into something sticky, something on Zero… he pulled his fingers away and they came soaking in congealed blood. Ichiru whimpered, turning Zero's head slowly over._

_He gasped at the sight of a large, semi-circular _bite_ on Zero's small neck. The rip in his skin was so wide, stretching across half of his neck that Ichiru was convinced it was broken and Zero was dead. He howled, leaning down to rest his head at Zero's jaw, rocking back and forth on his knees in grief. A _Vampire_. A _Vampire_ had killed his brother. Ichiru wept into Zero's red soaked nightshirt, tossing the phone to the side and cradling his beloved brother's head in his two hands, carding his fingers through his silver hair just the same way as Zero did when he was finding it difficult to sleep._

"No_, nii-chan," he moaned, nuzzling his head against Zero's. _

_In his sadness, it took a few moments before Ichiru noticed something incredible._

_Zero was still warm, very warm – and his body wasn't cooling quickly. Ichiru had never been around a dying or dead person before, but he knew that logically, body temperature would drop after death, as the heart stops pumping hot blood around the body, it would begin to cool. _

_But Zero was still warm. _

_The idea that he may just have died recently didn't register to him, as he clung to this new piece of hope, dropping his head closer to Zero's just above his nose and mouth. He strained his ears, urgently listening for his breathing, but Ichiru's own breathing and the thundering of his own pulse in his ears drowned out any noise Zero may have made. What if his breathing was there, but it was just faint? Ichiru growled, irritated by his inability to hear Zero properly, and he licked the clean back of his hand, holding it in front of Zero's nose._

_The wet patch cooled slightly as a small puff of air hit it. Ichiru's heart leapt._

_Zero was breathing._

_He's alive. He's alive!_

_Ichiru flicked Zero on the forehead, and almost laughed when he saw his brother's forehead crease in a small frown, flickering only once before it relaxed back into a misleadingly peaceful face. He's alive. _

_He spent a couple seconds simply grinning down at Zero. He may be bitten, he may be unconscious, but he was still _alive_. _

_But then the situation dawned on him. Sure – Zero was alive, and so was he. But their parents, where were they? They should be here. Why were they not here with them._

_Ichiru's eyes flitted over to the wound on Zero's neck. A Vampire. That might be the only answer he'd ever get. He would have to assume…_

_That…they couldn't be here then. They…_

_Ichiru's eyes fell onto Zero's relaxed face, his open peaceful face and his shallow breathing. He'd never seen his brother looking so vulnerable before. Even when Zero had colds, he was awake and active, even when his eyes were bright with fever and his nose was stuffy and his throat was clogged up. 'Defenceless' was not a word he'd ever associate with Zero. To him, Zero was a hero – strong and brave. To see him slumped unconscious and wounded in his arms made something snap inside Ichiru._

_Something just _snapped_. Perhaps it was the feeling of defencelessness which Ichiru so often associated to himself. He could no longer be the one waiting for someone to protect himself. _He_ was the only one left. _

_And Zero needed him. He didn't know about where their parents were, or why they weren't helping them, but now, for the first time – Zero needed him to be brave and strong._

_The flare of protectiveness brought adrenaline flushing into his veins, and for a moment, Ichiru felt like a real _Hunter_ – truly a protector. He understood the innate feeling of the urge to always see your loved ones safe._

_And at the moment, Zero wasn't safe._

_Ichiru's eyes flew over to the phone, and he scrambled for it quickly, and flipped it open, dialling the one phone number he knew by heart. The dialling tones seemed to take forever, and in the waiting time, he dipped his fingers into Zero's neck, finding his pulse slow but still there._

"_Pick up, come on, pick up…" he mumbled, shivering as a breeze drifted in through the open door._

_The open door._

_Ichiru's newly discovered bravery suddenly fled, and he gaped, his mouth as wide open as the open front door. The sight of snow – no, _blossoms_ still drifting idly down to the ground sent proper shivers down his spine. There was something wrong about seeing blossoms in autumn. He couldn't place where he'd seen them before, but he knew there was something just _wrong_ about the scene-_

"_He…Hello?"_

_He jumped with a start, and fondly smiled down at Zero when he groaned quietly at the sharp movement. _That's it Zero, stay with me…

"_Is…is this a prank? Cos I swear I'll kill you, you little-"_

"_Y-Yagari-sensei,"_

_Ichiru was shocked to hear how weedy and broken his voice sounded, when in fact he felt invigorated with a sense of duty, and the adrenaline and bravery running through him-_

"_Ichiru-chan, is that you?"_

_He fumbled with the phone, slotting it between his jaw and shoulder as he began to tear off a piece of Zero's thin shirt sleeve (his was too thick cotton). He tried to remain calm, but the sound of his sensei's gravelly voice somehow sent tears rushing to his eyes again. Maybe it was because the voice always made him feel safe, but right now he _didn't feel safe_._

"_P-Please come over, s-sensei," he whimpered, passing his hand underneath the curve of Zero's head, his knuckles grazing the congealed blood on the floor as he did so, "Z-Zero's hurt…I can't find Mama, o-or P-Papa…" he held one side of the cloth up and wrapped the remaining length around Zero's neck. Then he wondered if he should tie it tightly or loosely. He didn't want Zero to struggle with breathing by cutting off his air supply, but…the wound was still bleeding._

_He heard the other side of the phone being moved about too, and the distinct sound of a zip,"Ichiru, tell me what's happened," his sensei asked, and Ichiru's eyes drifted over to the open door again. He wished he was there. He needed him there right away to make them safe-_

"_They were attacked!" he bawled, sniffing back tears as he gingerly tied a knot on the bandage. Already blood was seeping through, as were his tears when he lost his bravery, and he started to weep again._

_The word "attacked" immediately sent the message to Yagari. There was no mistake of what it meant. Had Ichiru said "robbed", Yagari would've been worried. But now that he said "attacked", his heart almost stopped in _fear_. _

_It could only mean one thing: _Vampires.

_There was a pause, where he also heard a few clicks through the other side of the phone. He quickly pulled the phone more firmly to his ear, terrified that the reception was going funny, and their line would be cut._

"_Sensei! Sensei!" he cried, clutching the phone with both hands._

"_I'm here, Ichiru-chan. I'm coming, don't worry. Shh, shh…" _

_His sobs slowed, but he hiccupped, hearing his sensei speak so softly to him. From the other side, he could hear the sound of a door being slammed, and then keys jingling. He was coming. Instantly Ichiru felt slightly better, and he forced his sobbing down, swallowing some with his hiccups._

"_Did you say that Zero is alright?"_

"_Yeah," Ichiru nodded, brushing a few wet pink strands of hair away from his brother's face, "He's hurt though, and he's sleeping,"_

"_Sleepi- okay. Is he near you? No – are _you_ alright?"_

"_I'm fine," he chirped, checking himself. Suddenly he found his bloodied knees, with a few shards of glass poking through his pant legs. The cloth was already red and sticking to the wounds. A bubble of snot blew out of his nose as he gagged, squeezing his eyes tightly and letting a new set of tears flood his face, "When are you coming, sensei?" he whined, trying not to imagine the glass in his knees, or the pain that was beginning to register._

"_I'm coming, I'm coming. Don't worry,"_

"_Sensei-!" he sobbed._

"_Listen to me, Ichiru-chan. You must be brave, okay?"_

_And there, that word – _brave – _curbed all his tears in one fell swoop. He found the sobs clogging his throat disappear, and a sudden rush of air open up his lungs – the rush of adrenaline now focused his eyes on the situation, and like a trained Hunter, Ichiru calmed himself, mumbling to Yagari that he _would_ be brave._

"_Good boy," Yagari's voice said tenderly, "Now, are you near Zero?"_

"_Yes, he's right beside me,"_

"_How is he hurt?"_

_Ichiru ripped another length of cloth quickly, with his teeth. "He was bitten,"_

_There was a lengthy pause, where he thought he heard Yagari sob himself. He couldn't mistake hearing Yagari swear loudly though, and a loud crashing noise of something being smashed._

"_How long have you been there?"_

_Ichiru frowned, "I don't know,"_

_He heard a sigh, "The Vampire isn't there, are they? So do you know when they'll come back?"_

_Ichiru's eyes bugged, "They'll come _back_?" he squeaked, eyes flying back to the door. The blossoms had stopped falling, and the air was clear, "Sensei?"_

_There was another sigh, but this sounded more like a mixture of Yagari being emotionally drained and also breathing deeply to steady himself, "Yes. They'll come back," he said lowly, blinking back tears as he heard Ichiru wail over the phone. He couldn't bear telling Ichiru that the Vampire which had Bitten his brother would most likely come back to take him away as their fledgling, especially since apparently Zero was alive but 'sleeping' and he had been __**Bitten**__…_

"_Ichiru-chan," he said quickly, hearing the poor boy's frightened cries stop instantly, "You must act quickly. Take Zero, right away. Both of you must go to the _safe place_ and hide. Don't come out until I get you, understand?"_

_Ichiru whimpered, "But what if they come back?" _

_Yagari clenched his teeth together, stepping harder on the gas till he was almost driving at ninety._

"_I'm coming," was all he managed to choke out, finding himself unable to gratify Ichiru's question with anything better than this promise. "I'll be there,"_

"_Sensei!" Ichiru cried, recognising that soon he would hang up. He squeezed the phone in his hands, his chin wobbling as he tried to imagine Yagari there already. The Hunter hadn't answered him, and the fear of the unknown was worse than anything, because he was left to _imagine_ what might happen. "Sensei!"_

"_Be safe, Ichiru. Be brave. I'll be there soon,"_

_And then the dial rang, and Ichiru stared in horror at the phone when he realised Yagari had hung up. He stuffed it quickly into the bookcase and then turned to his brother, realising that he would have to somehow carry him to the_ safe place_ because obviously, he couldn't walk there himself._

_Ichiru had never really noticed how heavy Zero was until this moment, because they were the same size, and he had always assumed they'd weigh the same. But he realised, he probably couldn't tell how heavy he was, so it was just like he was carrying two of himself. He looped his arms around Zero's middle, under his armpits, and carefully dragged him backwards towards the kitchen. _

_In the kitchen was a secret trapped door right next to the pantry, and it was almost invisible against the floor. Ichiru could barely make it out against the similar grain of wood, but he ran his little fingers around and deftly caught the edge with both hands. It was designed specifically for them – him and Zero – since it was just small enough to fit the both of them, if ever there was an attack like this. _

_Ichiru had never anticipated an attack like this ever happening._

_As he slid open the door with his fingernails gripping the edge, he remembered how his father had meticulously designed the door to be so perfectly invisible – so it slid, with no hinge flap – otherwise it would definitely be more visible. He remembered how he and Zero had played with it, sliding it open and shut, and pretending it was a trap – leaving the door open and "falling" inside, or using it during hide-and-seek._

_It wasn't so fun anymore. _

_He managed to slip it open, and then turned to pull Zero towards himself. His brother's limp body was difficult to manoeuvre, and Ichiru found him slipping in his grip. He carefully placed Zero's legs in the hole first, and then grasped his armpits again, lowering him in slowly. The hole wasn't very deep. It had been measured to fit just around a foot above their heads (his father had said he'd have to extend the hole as they grew, though hopefully they wouldn't have to hide in an attack after too long – not having to hide in a dark hole was incentive to train harder to become a Hunter faster). But with Zero limp in his hold, he had to be careful not to hurt him further. He panicked when Zero's head flopped forwards, imagining his head falling off, due to the gaping wound in his neck._

_But eventually Zero was fully in the hole, dangling by his elbows. Ichiru knew he would have to drop Zero in from there, because he'd have to lower himself in later. He wondered how he would manage to get in without crushing Zero, but forced that thought away, as he lowered his arms in as far as they would go, lowering Zero in as much as he could before dropping him. The _thud_ he heard luckily didn't have any successive _snapping_ noises, which luckily meant – no broken bones._

_Ichiru peered down into the darkness, calculating where he might be able to squeeze himself in without crushing Zero. Maybe if he got something to throw on top of Zero, so if he fell on him, they would at least cushion his fall… Ichiru went over to the drawers, pulling out some tablecloths, still folded, and he dropped them into the hole. He suddenly panicked, thinking – what if the cloths suffocated Zero? He'd never know if he didn't get down there! Ichiru was about to crouch back down to the hole, when he noticed something in the kitchen window._

_Outside – a growing blizzard of swirling blossoms._

_His blood ran cold. They were back. The Vampire was back. _

_The plan was so clear to Ichiru, right from the start – it was like it had come premade in his head._

_Ichiru quickly, but calmly bent down and drew the sliding trap door shut, pressing the little hidden button at the side of the bottom of the nearby counter, which allowed the ingenious ventilation system to begin silently circulating the air in the hole. _

_Then he silently ran to the living room, to where Zero had lain. He blinked back tears, throwing one last glance at the open front door when he –_

"**No," Zero gasped, staring in absolute horror at his brother's solemn face. There were already track-marks of tears on his face, soaking his shirt, "No, you didn't. Ichi-"**

_- lied down, in the puddle of blood, in the broken glass and china. He tried to place himself exactly where Zero had been, smearing blood on the left side of his neck and even turning his head in the same direction Zero's had been in –_

"**-ru, please. Say you didn't, please-"**

_- and closed his eyes, slowing his breathing and urging his heart to beat slower, for the purpose of appearing, _just like Zero had.

_Inside, Ichiru was screaming at himself to_ get up and go to the **safe place** _but he was also realising, and mildly enjoying the hot, feverish feeling of bravery. Never had he ever laid his life on the line for Zero – because it had always been Zero who saved him. But at this moment, he knew that he had to do this. Yagari might not be aware that Ichiru knew things, he read lots of things to preoccupy his time with him being sick all the time, and he knew that Vampires who hadn't killed their prey at first would always come back for the final kill. They were notorious for being thorough when the returned, eating every last drop of blood from their meal – but most of all, they were disreputably good at being relentless with their search for the prey, if it had moved._

_If the Vampire came back to find Zero's body gone, it would begin to search for him, and that would endanger both of them. But if the Vampire found 'Zero' straight away…_

_Then _**Zero**_ would be spared._

"**No****!" he yelled, shifting as far away as he could from Ichiru on the couch, as if the physical distance between them would prevent the rest of the story being heard. He shut his eyes tightly, so he couldn't see Ichiru's mouth opening again to speak, but even then he couldn't bring himself to plug his ears shut. He had to hear. He had to listen.**

_Did it matter that he was wearing different clothes, and he may be lying differently to Zero? Ichiru didn't know, and he couldn't change that now. Already he could sense something approaching the house, and he knew that it wouldn't be Yagari._

_The moonlight cast through the doorway onto his face was suddenly blocked by a shadow, and a gust of wind spiralled into the house, ruffling his hair. The brush of blossoms on his lips was like a kiss of death. He struggled to remain still and breathe slowly and not shut his eyes too unnaturally tight and – and –_

_Be brave._

_The sound of gentle footsteps echoed around his head, soft and muffled – barefoot. There was a small smacking slap sound that came from where the Vampire's foot slapped into the puddle of blood, squelching as the foot was lifted. Ichiru almost trembled when he heard the rustle of cloth, and sensed the movement of the Vampire crouching beside him, despite his closed eyelids._

_And then he waited. He waited for death. _

_He almost blew it when he felt a hand on his shoulder – the shock was so great that his eyes tightened briefly. Could they tell? Could they tell he wasn't Zero? Ichiru begged his body to remain limp and pliable, as he was rolled onto the Vampire's lap. Then arms scooped him up against the Vampire's body, their bosom – it was a woman. A perfumed silky curtain of hair wafted an alluring sweet scent, and he tried to resist sucking in the air deeply. It smelt so good._

_The arms wrapped around his shoulders, and under his knees, and then suddenly he was aloft, swaying high above the ground in the arms of the female Vampire, cradled like a baby. Ichiru heard the Vampire cooing at him and felt her nuzzle his head ever so gently, the perfumed air permeating into all of his senses. The rich wonderful smell of death, he thought._

_And then he was being carried, the movement was slow and rocking as she carried him away, and to his horror, he found his eyelids suddenly feeling truly heavy, and his breath really slowing, and his heartbeat also slowing, as he fell into a deep sleep._

**Zero suddenly squirmed over to Ichiru and wrapped himself around him, trembling and shaking as he did so. His mind was whirling in hysteria, but even as he tried to deny what Ichiru had told him, to erase the terrible image from his mind – he could remember waking in the dark confined space. He remembered feeling like he had been buried alive, and feeling like the **_**air**_** was too tight, or too dry. His throat clenching up, and these wounds on his lower lips, from two little, needle-sharp…**

_Yagari's running footsteps faltered as he saw the broken open door, his heart clenched again, this time he had to pinch himself to shake himself out of his stupor. He raced through the door, reeling back as he saw the damage to his dear friends' home, the blood puddles on the ground, the red shards of glass-_

_He had to take a moment to steady himself, vision swirling and eyes blurring rapidly, before he could move again._

_The Vampire was gone. He could sense that they had come and gone, but they had left a deep, bloody impression on the place._

_As he moved and his shadow shifted, his eyes caught on something shiny in the bookshelf, and he felt slightly relieved when he saw that it was the phone. Ichiru's phone on the shelf. But then he realised that as they had talked, he had been here, in this pool of blood. _

_Where had the blood come from? __**Zero?**_

_Yagari quickly side-stepped around the large pool, eyeing the stairs. Somehow, he knew that upstairs he would find the two parents, dead. If it had been Ichiru left alone, and he'd had to call Yagari instead of getting his parents' help, they had to be dead. This heavy fact sunk in his stomach like he'd swallowed lead. They were dead. The two people he considered his brother and sister, not only in arms, but in love. He had been too late._

_But their children…_

_Ichiru, and Zero… they were still alive? Yagari hated how that came as a question, rather than a statement in his mind, but there was the huge possibility…_

_That he had been too late completely._

_He shook his head, turning to the living room. He couldn't think like that – he had to stay positive. Ichiru was alive and well on the phone, and he'd been ordered to go to the safe place. He remembered only hours ago, in the late afternoon he had tucked Ichiru into the bed in the Infirmary, where it was warmer, so he wouldn't catch the damned flu again. He remembered almost kissing his forehead, and then thinking better of it (you shouldn't mollycoddle Hunters with too much affection, they're meant to grow strong and independent, even if Ichiru and Zero liked hugs and kisses, and he wanted them to grow happy, as well as strong). The fact that putting Ichiru to bed at the far end of the house had probably saved his life, struck Yagari there. It was luck. Dumb luck which had placed Ichiru in the opportune place, where he somehow had managed to evade the Vampire's attack._

_Yagari headed over to the kitchen, his heartbeat racing and eyes wide as he scanned the kitchen floor, finding smears of blood near the hidden trap door. The stains were so visible, that it became apparent to Yagari, that the Vampire may have sniffed them out. His eyes blurred again, but he scrubbed the tears back, pulling off his gloves with his teeth. He dug his fingers into the tiny crack, tugging with his fingernails at it, till the gap opened wide enough for his fingers. _

_As he yanked back the trap door, his heart both stopped and fluttered. _

_There was only one boy down there, covered in a few tablecloths (for warmth?). _

_Yagari howled, punching the wooden floor in his uncontrollable grief. __**One boy**__. Where was the other? How could there only be one? There had always been t-two… _

_His heart broke._

_And he began beating the floor, till his hands were bruised and his tears stung his red eyes. There was only one. But at least there was still one in the first place._

_Yagari peered into the darkness, unable to tell which one had remained. The boy was in a crumpled heap at the bottom, too far down to see which one of the brothers it was. So he had to squeeze his top half down the hole to reach the boy, and carefully tug him out of it._

_As he rolled the boy out onto the floor, he saw the bloodied bandage on the boy's neck, but already he knew that it was Zero he held on his lap. Poor Zero, who now…who was now a __**Vampire**__ too._

_He stroked Zero's wounded neck gently, flinching as Zero whimpered._

_Where was Ichiru? _

_Yagari turned to look down towards the library. Where was he? _

_There was only one logical place he could be, but Yagari didn't want to consider it. _

_If he had been taken…_

_He would have been taken by the Vampire then. He must be. There was nowhere else he could be, if he wasn't in the safe place with Zero. That fucking Vampire must have come in the house, and Ichiru must have only managed to hide Zero, before being taken. _

_Yagari's body wracked with sobs. If only he had been faster. If only… if only… In Yagari's mind, he kept hearing the same sad voice in his head, over and over again, asking in such a pitifully frightened voice:_

"_But what if they come back?"_

* * *

><p><strong>Author's secondary note:<strong>

**hey guys, just wanted to let you know that i have worked _around_ the original plot of VK. This could all be technically true, if we believe they have mobile phones in the VK world. if they really _do_ have phones there, let me know. im too lazy to check it out.**

**dontcha just love ichiru now? that brave, self-sacrificing sweetheart. 3**


	68. Pureblood's Pure Blood

**Author's Note:**

**Hi guys, I wonder how you're all taking this new twist to Ichiru's past. I hesitated at making this change, but… I kinda went for it XD**

**Just to explain a few things: the reason why Shizuka so readily accepted Ichiru as the twin she'd bitten is, well, because she's ****mad****. Y'know, Hino-sensei said that the Hio's tend to be a little gaga in the head. I'm writing with the assumption that in her slightly insane way, she'd not really notice much amiss when she came back and found Ichiru instead of Zero. **

**He looks identical to Zero, he had Zero's blood all over him – sure, he wasn't wearing the same clothes and he wasn't really Bitten, but IMO, Shizuka would be in a rush. I mean, she'd just attacked one of the **_**most prestigious Hunter clans**_** – there was no way she'd get away with it so easily, unless she made a run for it. **

**So, for my explanation, she rather carelessly grabbed Ichiru and ran. On top of that – Zero told her before that there was only **_**one**_** Kiryuu son, in an attempt to protect Ichiru's identity (since he was still safe in the Infirmary). Shizuka probably believed him, because she only bothered taking who **_**she **_**believed to be Zero. What she didn't know was that Ichiru had used this assumption (unknowingly) to his advantage, to protect Zero. Even though she thought that she saw two boys before, when she was sitting in the plum tree, to her it could be a trick of the eye – I bet since she's slightly mad, she often sees things. **

**K, that's all folks. Just wanted to clear that little matter up. **

**No, no wait! I also wanted to apologise for the wait! It's just that these chapters are getting progressively more difficult to write! You'll have to wait for my brain to work faster! Sorry!**

* * *

><p>Spatters of dark viscous liquid coated some of the walls, where the whips had exploded, expelling the deep, raw smell of mass blood spilt. On the bed mattress was a hunched figure, so dark that they couldn't see him much from the shadows, yet his light blue eyes glinted in the darkness he had created, and the quaking fear in those eyes told them it was definitely Shiki – Shiki who was afraid of himself. Rima, despite warnings of danger, pressed herself against the cage bars and tears burned her eyes. She was allowed to do this. Kaname hadn't ordered her back from the cage at all. Kain glanced over at their leader in shock, but then realised why that was – Rido's target was Zero, and with Kaname nearby it was unlikely that he would even dare try attack Rima on a whim. All of his attacks had been when Kaname wasn't there.<p>

"Do you know what he said?" Kaname asked calmly, watching in defeat as Shiki shook his head morosely, and the blue eyes were shut. "You don't remember?"

Rima shook the cage bars, though they didn't even rattle. She growled viciously, whipping around and stamping over to Kaname's front, staring right up at their leader with fire in her eyes.

"I saw Zero soaked with blood, but I had no idea the blood wasn't his!" she exclaimed, throwing an arm out to Shiki, "It's his. It's _his_ blood, Kaname. He could **bleed** **out**. _What will you do?"_ her question in fact included silently: _He needs treatment. But I know you won't risk letting him out to the doctor…or will you?_

Kaname's eyes were hard, bright red as rubies, "If his cure can be fixed between now and the time that I leave, he will remain here. If not, he will be dealt with far away,"

Her tears splashed his cheek as she shook her head ferociously, eyes squeezed tightly and pigtails whipping her face. "How can you…_how_…" she whispered, barely able to speak from her grief.

"I will not have him killed, Rima," Kaname corrected, eyes widened when he realised what he had sounded like, "But he must be kept away. Unless you find a cure before I leave, he will be sent away, is that understood?"

Rima cried out in relief, striding forwards and bowing deeply to Kaname in gratitude. She rose before Kaname could reprimand her, and practically beamed at him, though her tears still shone on her face. "Thank you! Thank you, Kaname-sama…"

"Yes," Kaname nodded stiffly, awkwardly marching over to Kain and placing a hand on his shoulder, "I leave you in charge, Kain. I'm giving you perhaps an hour, but no more than that, to figure out Shiki's cure,"

"Kaname!" the redhead exclaimed, mouth agape, "I…I – I've not been involved in this! I have no idea what's going on, or what we know-"

"Exactly," Kaname sighed, "And that's precisely the reason for why I'm giving you this responsibility. None of you have been in the main research team for solving Shiki's curse, apart from Ruka perhaps. We need fresh eyes to look the problem over. Maybe you'll see something that the others have missed," he sent Rima an encouraging smile, "If you work together, bringing together what you know, you will work much faster," he clapped Kain's shoulder twice, "_One hour_," he reminded him, turning to leave the room.

"Eh-? Kaname, where are you going?" Kain yelped, making to go after him – but he found his feet suspiciously cemented firmly to the ground. The fire-master grabbed his thighs, tugging at his legs to move, but he was stuck. "Kaname!"

Kaname strolled out of the room calmly, leaving his friend to the demise of _brainstorming _and _discussion_ – two things that Kain truly despised. The redheaded fire-master wasn't actually _**all**_ brawn and no brain – he was very smart. But whereas others preferred to work in teams, Kain preferred to think alone, or to work by gut-instinct. Naturally he was a very impulsive person, so being left tasks like this didn't go well with him.

But Kaname knew that this time, he would have to leave them to it. He considered heading to his room, but it was quite far away. Instead he turned around the corner into one of the spare guestrooms, and went straight for the dusty bed. Turning down the covers released puffs of dust as he beat the dust out of the sheets quickly, brushing away a stray carcass of a spider from the foot of the bed. He then lay in the rather dank-smelling bed, disregarding the rather gloomy environment he was settling in, since the exhaustion of the past few days was already eating away his senses. While Kaname was obsessive about pushing himself, making sure he truly pulled his weight as the Pureblood leader they all needed him to be, and he didn't get away with lazing off on his job (since he _could_ get away with doing that – he _was_ the boss after all), he was still – only a Vampire. He could go for days without sleep, but the stressful past few days felt like _weeks_ of no sleep. Mentally, physically he was just about ready to collapse. So he drew the dirty sheets up to his chin and locked the door with his mind, also setting the clock alarm on the nightstand for an hour. An hour of sleep. Hopefully it would be enough.

* * *

><p>"Very quickly, she realised that I wasn't you, and she became very, very angry…"<p>

Zero was still wrapped around his brother, clinging to him in a desperate attempt to not be washed away by the waves of guilt and horror which crashed into him, like he was lost in a tempestuous sea of the past. As Ichiru said this, Zero shut his eyes tightly, gasping as a sharp pain cut into his heart. The implications of what had been said were _ghastly_. He could only dare to imagine the punishment Ichiru received, because Ichiru said no more, and he couldn't see it, but his face was extremely pale (even for their skin) and his eyes were wide and glossy, lost in the memories.

The end note of Ichiru's voice was like a lament, and the mood in the room was grim. Even Yagari… Zero twisted his head to see his teacher, and he found himself amazed to see the broken man, completely hunched over with his face hidden by his hands and hair. After a few moments he realised Yagari was trembling.

"What did she do?"

Ichiru shifted slightly, propping Zero's head on his shoulder, he smiled bleakly at him, "She enslaved me, for my punishment, but that wasn't all she did," he paused, and Zero watched as his face morph into a stony mask, similar to the way Kaname tried to shield his emotions from the world, "She really messed with my mind. Even though I was her slave, she treated me _well_. It was strange, for me – being given the worst of jobs to do, yet being fed well and not being beaten, compared to her other slaves. She was really _kind_ to **me**.

"And so, I got really confused. Really, really confused. I didn't understand why she had me as a slave when she treated me like… like a _son_. The emotions, the feelings I held _conflicted_ and I didn't know whether I should hate her – because she had enslaved me; or if I should love her – because she was gentle and loving, and the perfect, easy replacement for a mother," Ichiru's disturbingly vacant stare bore directly into Zero's eyes as he said this, "She became the mother I had always wanted, Zero, she gave me the warmth of a mother's love which I had always craved. But to this day, I cannot tell whether the way she treated me was all an act, or if she really ever loved me.

"Because she never acted in any way beyond being my Master – at least, not until she saw how my frustration mounted as I grew and realised I was still forever stuck as her lowly _slave_.

"I grew angry. As a child, there is nothing you can crave more than love. Even though she was kind, she was still my Master, not my mother. She was waiting for me to _explode _with anger. I hated being nothing more than a slave, I thought I deserved better than that, especially after I had sacrificed… many things, on that night," he blinked slowly.

_That night when he sacrificed everything for Zero –_

"And after a year, I **snapped**. I screamed at her, '_Why?'_…**why** did she keep me as a slave when she treated me so lovingly? Was this some sort of sick game to her, to toy with my feelings?

"And she told me it was because after everything, I _had_ to repay her somehow for tricking her that night – I owed her a service, in **your** place. So she _had_ to have me as a slave, even though she loved me too, because that was the debt she was owed. And that planted a thought in my head, when she said, '_When you traded your life with your brother, you gave me your life'_. At that moment, from that very thought, the way I thought completely changed.

"I believed her. Suddenly, in my mind, I saw a reason for my suffering, the _cause of my pain_ – it was **you**. It was an easy solution to blame **you** for giving me a life of enslavement, because when I was faced with so much anger and humiliation – I wanted to blame _something _or _**somebody**_ for my pain – and there was no way I would blame myself in that type of situation. I sacrificed myself for you f_or __**love**_, but for this I was punished, and my love was distorted into hate.

"On top of this, all of my hate for our parents was added to this vengeful brew – _Zero_," he snarled, "They never loved me Zero, our parents loved _**you**_ and you only. I was tossed aside because of my weak body, because I could never become what they wanted – I have _never _been loved as much as you, no matter how much you may try to convince me that I have, sensei," he snapped at Yagari's beseeching look, "_Never._ And you can't deny it. They were _waiting for me to _**die**. I was just a hindrance to them – too weak to ever be the Hunter son they wanted. They got that son in **you**.

"My anger reached its peak.

"This was the moment she had been waiting for. At this point she promoted me all the way from being a slave, to her personal butler. Suddenly I was given even better food and living conditions, I was clothed well and I was _loved_ by her – Zero, you have no idea how much I just wanted…" _to be loved…_Ichiru trailed off, his eyes pleading with Zero to understand his damaged way of thinking. But Zero _did _understand. He remembered how even though their parents insisted they loved the two of them equally, he had always been the priority. It was the only difficulty the twins had had between them – the inequality of the amount of attention they received. Even though Zero hadn't been an attention-seeking child, he gained his parents' favour from birth, as soon as they saw he was the stronger of the two. Ichiru was left alone in his hospital bed, while Zero was treated like the golden child.

For all of his childhood Ichiru had been starved of the motherly love he should have been equally given (which was given to Zero instead – and Zero couldn't deny it), and this weakness had been twisted, manipulated by Shizuka's love, fed by his hate for his parents and convincing him to lose love for Zero too, "…she made an ultimatum – either I hated her and loved you, or I loved her and hated you. Already I was dying for her to love me, just to _love me like a mother – _and _**you weren't there!**_

"The choice wasn't hard to make," he confessed, face flushing with shame, "So, with my loyalty swayed by her, she fed my anger with the promise of revenge, when the time was ripe. She fed me her blood too, to strengthen my weak body. And she told me she loved me.

"But it wasn't the type of love I thought it would be… Zero, do you even know why our parents were murdered that night?"

Zero frowned, staring blankly at his brother, "_Why_ they were murdered? I've heard that the Hio clan is infamous for having its members go crazy after some time-"

"Shizuka-sama **was** quite mad," Ichiru agreed, "But it wasn't only her madness which led to their deaths. Our parents were sent on a Hunt which ended in the death of Shizuka-sama's lover. That night was her revenge,"

This caused Zero to recoil in shock. All these years he had thought their parents died innocently in their sleep, when their murder was an act of revenge. _Death of her lover_… Zero wasn't naturally a naïve person, yet it hadn't ever occurred to Zero what the consequences of the Hunts his parents, or indeed, other Hunters were. Sure – there was the extermination of dangerous Level Es…but the death of a Pureblood's lover? This didn't make sense…

"Shizuka-sama told me then that I reminded her of him," Ichiru said in a wistful tone, drawing Zero's attention back to him in a second, "She spoke of him often, saying that his eyes always held this fiery passion, and this passionate gaze made her fall in love with him. He was Human," the sharp intake of breath from Zero seemed to satisfy Ichiru, "But she changed him. He was fed her blood constantly, and was subsequently saved from ever falling to a Level E state, but still, somehow he ended up on the Hunters' List,"

"And he was killed by our parents," Zero groaned, shaking his head rapidly, "Why?"

Again Ichiru didn't appear to hear his question, "She said she loved me because of my eyes that were just as hungry as his for revenge, and as I became older… Zero, you have to understand…I lived with her mostly, I couldn't help-"

"You fell in love with her too?" Zero yelped, drawing back slightly. Ichiru caught him though, and kept him locked in his arms. To Zero's chagrin, his weak younger brother managed to match him in strength, and he was forced to meet Ichiru's pained stare.

"It wasn't intentional, but she was wonderful to me. We never… she didn't accept me as her lover, but I…" he shrugged with a wry grin, "…maybe you can blame it on Stockholm Syndrome. Either way, I found myself completely bound to her – mentally, emotionally _and_ physically. She still gave me her blood to keep strong, you see. I… I can't remember those years clearly," his eyes became glossy again, and a disturbingly cheerful smile stretched his lips as he shook his head gently, "I just remember feeling happy. I felt really happy, serving her and being with her. It was a living dream, and… and I _never_ wanted to leave her side,"

* * *

><p>They had migrated back to the library at full speed, with the three girls dragging the reluctant Kain by both his sleeves and his left ear (Yuuki) – even as he had to obediently stoop down for her to reach. Amongst the rows upon rows of ceiling high bookshelves was where Kain felt most uneasy. For reasons he could not explain, he kept expecting to see a flash of bright blonde skidding along the ladder rails, clinging on for dear life. The blonde bombshell that dropped on his back in a 'surprise attack', knocking him onto the floor and almost catching his skull on the study desk-<p>

Rima leapt onto the study desk and slammed the back of her heels into the wooden legs. Her clasped hands and stony expression told them all that she was in charge here, no matter what Kaname said. Kain meekly took a seat on a chair further off.

"One hour, everyone," she announced, then turning her sharp eyes onto Ruka, "You've researched, have you not? Tell us everything,"

Ruka shrugged, suppressing a flinch at Rima's irate glare, "I don't really know much. Most of what I was researching was about the Purebloods' Weapons. Sorry," she mumbled.

Rima scowled, but then turned to Kain, "Well?" she snapped, "You're close to Aidou, aren't you? Surely you spoke to him before he left,"

Kain blinked, thinking back to before Aidou left the castle. They had spent some time – Aidou, Ruka and himself – in the library researching. Now that he thought about it, the research session had begun with the focus on Shiki's curse. He didn't know if Ruka paid much attention during Aidou's mindless babbling, when he was reading rapid-pace and thinking aloud, but _Kain_ unfortunately (or maybe _fortunately_ in this case) did. It wasn't intentionally, but Kain couldn't shut Aidou's voice out of his head. His ears didn't work like that – they instinctively listened, even subconsciously, to what Aidou said, at all times, even if it wasn't important.

So when Kain ran through what he remembered, he found himself recalling much more of what Aidou had said than he thought he would've been able to.

"He was saying about what Takuma had told him," Kain spoke slowly, scanning through his memories carefully, "About the curse… Takuma was saying that the only cure he could find which could possibly work was Pure blood, since it cures _everything_ practically… but Kaname's blood didn't work, Shiki's body rejected it,"

The last few words made Rima let out a frustrated whine, and she flopped backwards dramatically onto the desk, a small groan of pain coming from her upon impact of her head against the hard wood. Ruka went to sit by her sympathetically, murmuring words of comfort to her quietly. Though they weren't the closest of friends, the fact that they shared a room at the Academy and they therefore spent much of their time together made her sensitive to Rima's moods.

Meanwhile, Kain leant against one of the bookcases, winding his arm around one of the ladder railing supports absentmindedly. He was considering what he had just said. There was something really strange about the fact that Kaname's blood didn't manage to heal Shiki. Pure blood was generally known to be a sacred elixir which could save you from death, and heal some of the gravest wounds. What could possibly stop the power of Kaname's blood from fixing Shiki?

Rima's mind however kept straying back to the scene she'd seen in Shiki's room – the blood stains everywhere… a thought kept nagging her. How did Shiki manage to harm Zero from inside the cage? Kaname had secured the cage with a special mesh on top of the restrictive bars, to almost completely obscure Shiki from ever reaching the outside. The tiny holes in the mesh were how the blood whips had managed to feed through, but surely with _Kaname_ being the person who created the mesh, he must have enforced the mesh with some sort of Vampire charm that reinforced the imprisonment. He wasn't the type of person to overlook important details like that – neither was he the sort of person who made mistakes in things like this.

So how had Shiki managed to get to Zero?

"Pure blood should be able to fix him," Kain frowned, "They were right – it doesn't make sense. Why doesn't the Pure blood work? What can be stronger than Pure blood?"

Ruka huffed, "I don't know. Pure blood… _Pure blood_…" she muttered under her breath, narrowing her eyes deep in thought.

_Pureblood_…? Kain thought slowly, looking at his cousin in shock. His eyes snapped open wide. Of course.

**Purebloods**. The answers lied with the Purebloods, as always.

* * *

><p>"Eventually, Shizuka-sama told me about her past, as we got closer," Ichiru smiled slightly, causing Zero to shudder, "She told me how she had once been engaged, but due to her pride and her betrothed's determination to dominate her, they rejected each other. She refused to submit to him, and loathed him. She wanted to kill him – can you guess who he was, Zero?"<p>

The answer flew into his head, "Rido?"

Ichiru nodded, "Yes, Rido,"

Pureblooded Rido – the only likely candidate for Shizuka's hand that Zero could have _guessed_.

Yagari cleared his throat, "You must know, Zero, that during all the time that Ichiru has told you about, I thought he was dead too. I didn't think it was possible that he could have been kept alive after Shizuka realised he wasn't who she thought he was. But I kept an eye on her as best as I could without drawing unwanted attention," he looked meaningfully at them both. If Yagari made it obvious that he had an interest in a Pureblood like Shizuka, he may get questioned by their superiors, or even Vampires, "And I also spent the years investigating the circumstances of your parents' deaths. I had no idea he was even alive until I heard the rumours that Shizuka was coming over towards Kurosu Academy,"

"She had heard that Rido was present there," Ichiru interrupted, scowling, "In the body of another, but she wanted still to see him and take her revenge," he shrugged, "She never explained what that revenge was, but I followed her anyway because she said that you were there, and I had my own revenge I wanted to take too,"

"There were rumours that a Hunter travelled with the Pureblood, and there was only one Hunter I thought of who it could be," Yagari said, his eye rolling over to Ichiru, "I had _no idea_. Part of me didn't want to believe…" _because then I'd have to ask myself why I gave up hope, why did I let her take him and not go after her with every breath in my body?_ Yagari closed his eye tightly. It was because of Zero that he didn't go, too. He wanted to stay nearby enough to Zero in case he was in need of his aid, because _he knew that Zero was alive_. He couldn't risk leaving him, on the whim that Ichiru might still be alive.

Ichiru stared at his sensei impassively for a few moments, and then turned back to Zero, "You know what happened thereafter, after Shizuka-sama died, how I turned on you in anger," he said softly, a sad smile on his face, "And then you ate me, as I requested-"

"So how are you alive?" Zero snapped, breaking away from his brother's hold, "Why haven't you told me yet? I thought you were dead!"

"He never died," Yagari answered, meeting Zero's baffled stare with a small sardonic twist of his lips, "You never killed him,"

* * *

><p>"Purebloods!" Kain exclaimed exuberantly, grinning at Rima's perplexed death stare, "Don't you see? Only Purebloods can harm Purebloods, so only <em>Pure blood <em>can defeat _Pure blood_!"

The three girls scowled or scrunched their faces up in confusion, and Kain suddenly felt the rush from feeling cleverer than someone else. He finally understood why Aidou always smirked smugly at him when he didn't understand something he had said.

"Kaname _just_ told us that Shiki's curse was an _infection_. I think he meant for us to understand, or figure out that he meant it _literally_. Shiki's curse was created by Rido's blood whip slashing his face, right? So doesn't that mean that Rido's _blood_ infected Shiki?" Kain stressed, waving his arms around enthusiastically, even as the girls remained at a loss, "With Rido's blood having the hold on Shiki, the cure must be a way that can remove Rido's blood from Shiki's body,"

"But surely his blood has mixed with Shiki's now. Maybe that's why Shiki's having more trouble with handling Rido's attacks, because his body is naturally regenerating more of Rido's blood in him," Ruka suggested, "And even though what you said makes sense, it still doesn't tell us how we can fix him,"

"Rido's… Rido's blood whips…" Rima suddenly said, and everyone turned to her in interest. She lifted her head higher, "You said that it was _Rido's _blood whips that slashed Shiki's face. I didn't realise that Rido had the power of blood whips too,"

"Well he must have, because he definitely used them on Shiki in the woods. Takuma told us himself," Kain retorted.

Rima nodded slowly, and then faster as she began to unravel the puzzle with widening eyes.

"If… If Rido has the power of blood whips, then **he** could have been the one who managed to breach the cage to get to Kiryuu,"

Ruka hummed, "Yes, _and_?"

"Well…" and then Rima's eyes grew even bigger, and she gasped sharply, "Of course! I understand now! Listen – it was _Kaname_ who enforced the cage with extra mesh, with _**his own**_ powers to prevent Shiki from getting out. But it _wasn't_ **Shiki** who managed to evade the mesh,"

"It was Rido," Ruka breathed. Rima nodded earnestly.

"Do you remember when Kaname confessed to us, he told us that Rido was his Master," she said, "So that means that Rido's power will always overpower Kaname's. _**That**_ is how he managed to get through the cage to Kiryuu,"

"And _**that's **_why Shiki can't be cured by Kaname's blood – of course!" Kain practically yelled in enthusiasm.

"So what do we do?" Rima asked, folding her arms in annoyance. "We've figured these things out, but still, what can we do?"

"It's obvious, isn't it?" Kain said, grinning smugly again when the girls all shook their heads. He puffed out his chest, pretending that Aidou was there – _oh, if Aidou was there to see him now. How proud or pissed off would he be that Kain knew something he didn't? _"It's obvious, isn't it?" he repeated, just for good measure –

Until Ruka kicked him in the knee.

"We _have_ another Pureblood here," he said, grinning at his victim as he hobbled casually over towards the other bookshelf, and rested his heavy hand on Yuuki's dainty shoulder.

* * *

><p>"He w-wasn't…he never…"<p>

"No," Yagari said firmly, "You drained him almost to the point of death, but… Ichiru, you explain,"

Ichiru smiled uncertainly as he spoke to Zero, "After years of being fed Shizuka-sama's blood, her blood not only managed to strengthen me, but it also _immortalised_ or preserved parts of me, I believe. I'm a Hunter still, Zero – it's in my blood. And I'm sure you know the Hunters' history – how we were formed from drinking the blood of a Pureblood Vampire,"

Zero nodded, thinking immediately of Lady and her sacrifice, the Memories still fresh in his mind.

"Drinking _more_ Pure blood only made me stronger, _biologically_ than I was before. I may not be stronger in the Hunters' sense – since I will never have your skill or strength fighting as a Hunter; but my body is strong on the inside now, where her blood has mixed in my veins and reached my vital organs. I believe, at least, that when you drained me, you stopped just before I died. My strong organs managed to keep going, for quite a while after you were gone.

"I was weak, but I still had my phone on me," he shot a grin at a faintly smiling Yagari. "And I called him,"

"My number hasn't changed still," Yagari intoned, making Ichiru giggle.

"It was lucky that he hasn't, otherwise I _would_ be dead," Ichiru chuckled, even as Zero couldn't manage to crack the tiniest of smiles. It was still terrifying to him to remember how closely he had come to killing Ichiru. The guilt still bore into him, because he had _almost killed his baby brother_. "I called him and he came, and rescued me,"

"There was something about the call that just… convinced me to come," Yagari said simply, scratching his ear, "I know – I knew that Ichiru might be a _lot_ different, I mean, he'd been taken by a Pureblood Vampire! For all we knew, he might see us as the enemy. But he still called me – he could've been using me, but I still remembered that night when he called me, asking for me to come. I couldn't fail him this time,"

Ichiru reached over to squeeze Zero's shoulder, "Yagari-sensei took me to the HQ in secret, and healed me underground, but the healing process took a long time, because my body was used to relying on Shizuka-sama's Pure blood to heal itself. It took a long time, and during that time I thought back on my life with more clarity than I'd done in a long time.

"This is the point I can remember most clearly from my past life," he said softly, "I mean, with Shizuka I can remember being happy all the time, but I can't remember _why_ or what we did. It was a murky sort of happiness, like being drugged. With her dead and gone, I suddenly started to be able to see the world again in the correct way. I suddenly realised that, even though Shizuka was dead, she didn't feel like a loss to me. I was confused, because I had been so certain that I was in love with her, but in the end I didn't mourn her. In fact, I felt free.

"And when I thought about the moments where you drank my blood, I remembered little things that made me realise how much I'd changed, and how much you hadn't.

"You barely ripped my skin – you were so _careful_ in biting me and drinking from me. The pain was minimal, as was the damage to my flesh. You drank enough that you _thought_ I was dead, but in actuality you must have subconsciously left enough blood in my body to keep me alive, because I was alive. It was a miracle, but when I looked back on that thought, I just kept thinking: _he still loves me_. _After everything, _you still love me,"

Ichiru's lavender eyes bore into Zero's as he said this, and his older brother nodded numbly. He did. He still loved Ichiru, he had never stopped. The loss of his brother had only strengthened his love for him, since he missed him more than anything, and looked back on the days when they were still together (when Ichiru was still _alive_, because he hadn't known he was alive still) with such fondness that he would feel love for his lost brother all over again, just clinging to the memories.

"Despite our parents not loving me, you always had," Ichiru said softly, reverently, "And I only noticed that when I was healing. In a way, I think when I was healing, I was also remembering _us_, and _you_ most of all. I was healing my heart too, from the love that I thought I had been starved of, I never appreciated truly your love, Zero, or your sacrifice,"

"My s-sacrifice?"

Ichiru nodded with a grin, "I can only guess, but I'm still pretty sure that on _that night_, you must have been coming down the stairs to save me, right? Mama and Papa were not downstairs, but _**I**_ was. You came down to protect me, even though you knew it wasn't safe to, didn't you?"

Zero nodded, hiccupping softly.

"Because you loved me?"

He nodded again, scrambling over the sofa to wrap around Ichiru again, and he nuzzled their cheeks together, like they had as children, sobbing heartily, "_Because I __**love **__**you**__, brother,"_

* * *

><p>To her credit, Yuuki hadn't even blinked whilst they extracted a couple syringes of her holy Pure blood from her delicate arm – it had been the three of them who had winced, flinched and whimpered. The delicious smell of her blood, plus the fact that they were using such a big scary needle (Rima), and on top of that, the fact that they were doing a total taboo of taking a Pureblood's blood (Kain) tortured them. Yuuki swung her legs casually against the hospital bed, sighing when it was over. She smiled at Kain, as he dabbed hesitantly at the pinpricks of blood on her arm with soft cotton balls.<p>

"I hope this works," Kain whispered to her with a wink. She winked back.

"I think it will. That was a clever conclusion you drew from everything!"

Kain flushed, but accepted her praise with a broad grin. Ruka rolled her eyes, thwacking him around the head for his egotism, and taking him by the elbow, straight towards the corridor. Rima had been told to stay with Yuuki, whilst they went to cure Shiki.

On the way towards Shiki's room, Ruka balanced nimbly on her toes to kiss Kain on the cheek (well, it landed more on his jaw, but) and shoot him a strange mix of a raised eyebrow and a smirk/smile.

"I have to hand it to you, it _was_ very clever of you," she admitted, her smirk morphing into a proper grin to match his, "Hanabusa would be proud of you," his grin almost split his face in half, so she thwacked him again for good measure, "But don't let it get to your head,"

They ambled down in pleasant companionship, though their cheerfulness was short-lived, when the crossed an insignificant guestroom door.

That door, which crashed open.

And then Kaname leapt out of it.

And then they screamed, very loudly.

Oh crap.


	69. A Palpable Tension PART 1

**Author's note:**

**ok, guys, this chapter is gonna leave you thinking: "HUH?" but that's only because it's part 1 of a two-part chapter, k? things (at least _some _things) will be resolved by the next half. if not, then by the end of the story XD ok? **

**no panicking if you don't understand, only if you REALLY need to know. even then, i will _choose_ where and what i divvy out to you guys, because i dont want to spoil anything for anyone, k?**

**ok.**

**here we go:**

* * *

><p>"So… <em>why<em> are you here then?" he shifted slightly, though he remained glued to his brother's side, "I've been told you're my… bodyguard," he shot a pointed look at Yagari, clearly saying: _The hell? I can take care of myself._

Ichiru burst out laughing, as did Yagari when they shared a look. Despite still feeling bitter and snubbed of the vast details of his past, Zero also joined in the laughter, though his ended with a stretched yawn. He practically flinched as Yagari's perceptive eyes landed on him, remembering when he was younger and those eyes would fix on him (and Ichiru) and persist in staring with one clear message in mind: _Get to bed_. He was tired, but he wouldn't let that stop him, not when there were still so many questions unanswered.

"This past year, Yagari-sensei has agreed to teach me Hunter skills again, but clearly…" Ichiru's smile diminished, "Clearly I will never be as good as you, or up to scratch with any of the Hunters. There are some things that you cannot recover from lost time. But it's just… it's very important to me to learn to be a Hunter too. With this new life, this second chance I've been given, I will live the life I should have led,"

"So basically, he's no way near bodyguard-material," Yagari grunted, striding over to pretend to cuff Ichiru's ear derisively, though with a rather pleasant smile still on his face, "Where did you get that idea, kid?"

"Kana…Kaname told me," Zero muttered difficultly, which Yagari scoffed at.

"That boy assumes too much," he spat, grabbing Ichiru's shoulder, "He'll be your connection to the Hunters," he explained, his previous smile twisting into his usual scowl, "I'm not comfortable leaving you with a bunch of fucking Vampires, especially when you're all wounded and such. So Ichiru will accompany you everywhere, understood?"

"Even the bathroom, sensei?"

Yagari cuffed Zero this time, as both brothers sniggered.

"No jokes – alright? I want you two together, always – be safe," the older Hunter snapped, though his words carried themselves right to the twins' hearts, and they both nodded obediently. Yagari snorted again, this time patting them on the heads like kittens, "Good boys," he drawled, ruffling their identical heads of hair.

Yagari shuffled towards the door awkwardly, digging into his coat pockets as he did so, "I'm getting a smoke, you two stay here. I'll speak to _His Majesty_ before I leave, alright?"

Both boys called affirmatively to their sensei's retreating back, and settled back onto the couch, with Zero's head still pillowed on Ichiru's arm.

"Do you really forgive me, Ichiru?"

"Hmm?" Ichiru groaned, peeling open his eyes. He barely noticed when his eyelids began to droop and shut, ready for a good nap. But Zero, as always, was still awake. In fact, when Ichiru opened his eyes, he saw that somehow, their positions had switched, and it was like they were children again, where Zero hovered over him protectively, stroking back the strands of hair that always got into his face and tickled his nose, lulling him to sleep with his fingers caressing him hypnotically.

"Do you forgive me, for taking our parents' love, and their attention and…" Zero chewed his lip slowly, "I never meant to do that – without me doing anything, they chose me above you, and that wasn't fair. We're the same, we're meant to be treated the same…"

"That's impossible, Zero," he chuckled, shifting so they sat exactly side-by-side, "We _aren't '_the same'. That's the wrong way of thinking about us, that's _their_ way of thinking about us," he said bitterly, indicating their parents still with loathing in his voice, "That's the way of thinking that I have realised is essentially absolutely wrong.

"When I woke, after being revived by Yagari-sensei, I thought I would definitely die after you had eaten me, so I wondered, why wasn't I a part of you? So many times as a child, I remember being told that we were meant to be born as one – only, we'd been split in the womb, and now we were two. So I thought that if I was eaten, we'd become one again.

"I remember the days when I used to brood and sulk, watching you running around so energetically, whilst I was bound my bed, waiting for my body to repair itself. You would apologise repeatedly, begging my forgiveness when it was neither of our faults that I was the weaker one, and you were the stronger one. Still, I would wish I was born a part of you, so I could run with you and be with you always. Envy built in me, and for most of my childhood, I hated you.

"But after almost dying, I've looked back on life and seen how stupid I've been, thinking this way, and now I see how much you cared about me. In a way, I was always stronger than you, because you would do anything for me – because you loved me. I've realised that I was living half a life from the start, because I believed I was half a person – half of _you_. It isn't true, Zero. I'm a whole person. I am myself and you are yourself. We were never the same person.

"Why else were we born separately, Zero? It is because there were meant to be two of us. We were never meant to be _one_, but **two**."

* * *

><p>Understandably, the sight of a highly irate Pureblood crashing into the space right in front of you might make you scream and almost wet yourself in fear. Certainly, it was enough to allow Ruka to let out an ear-splitting shriek and dive for cover behind her large cousin, whilst Kain almost wet himself at the murderous look in their leader's eyes. Kaname looked slightly ruffled from sleep, though his posture was still properly composed as always, and – none of this managed to distract from the fact that his eyes held a fiery flame in them as he stared the fire-master down. The slightly dark rings around his lower eyelids also told them that he wasn't very happy at all to see them.<p>

Kaname's eyes slipped right down Kain's cringing face, down his trembling shoulders and along his wavering arm to his hand. Where in it lay two fat syringes. Full of blood.

He narrowed his eyes at the syringes, and to Kain's absolute terror, he suddenly appeared _right in front of him_, so that if he even took in a breath, his chest would most certainly expand enough to touch the irate Pureblood in front of him (which seemed a very dangerous movement at the moment). So Kain stopped breathing.

Kaname sniffed, bending into a primal crouch near Kain's hand as he sniffed insistently. Somehow, due to his ruffled exterior, Kaname looked very much like a feral creature – the deadly beauty of a Bengal tiger, Ruka mused, from her safe spot behind Kain.

And then Kain actually whimpered when Kaname whipped back upright, and his face was absolutely livid, boring into his own eyes.

"Yuuki's blood,"

His eyes narrowed into deadly slits.

"Why do you have my Yuuki's blood?"

Though his voice was nary more than a whisper, Kain could hear it reverberate through his head, and in his panic he completely forgot _why_ they had Yuuki's blood, like his mind had been wiped. Why did they have Yuuki's blood? He could feel the cold glass of the syringe warming from where his hands – no, his whole _body_ began to heat up – it was a defence mechanism. He often heated up when he was agitated or scared or… anything, really. He could almost feel the glass vibrating from the heat, and his own shaking hands. If the syringes broke, then he really would have blood on his hands.

"Yuuki's blood is the cure," Ruka blurted from behind him, bravely stepping around her cousin, "We've figured it out, Kaname. Pure blood is the cure, it always was,"

"Then why not…" _my own_, Kaname was about to say, but then his eyes widened in understanding. His blood couldn't do it. He couldn't cure Shiki of Rido's infection – because Rido was _his Master_ – even his blood could not defeat him. His furious expression waned, and smoothed out as he became impressed by how they had worked out the curse's cure. He nodded, stepping aside and gesturing towards Shiki's rooms, "Go, then. Be careful,"

They quickly scurried down the corridor with Kaname watching after them. He noticed their hesitation, and the fact that they glanced at each other with the question in their eyes quite clearly asking: _Why isn't Kaname coming with us?_ But the simple reason was that – he was still exhausted. What good would he be like this when he was already weak against Rido? His presence might just provoke Rido's attention again, and cause more problems. At least with those two going to do the job, Rido might not anticipate such an attack.

Kaname hobbled back into the guestroom, mourning his loss of privacy, since he'd blasted the door right into the corridor – but, oh well. It would have to do – he was far too tired to bother going anywhere else to sleep now.

In fact for the past half hour or so, Kaname had not managed to sleep very well at all. And then the smell of his precious sister's blood floating around the air had woken him completely. It was probably the main reason why he was so grumpy with them two.

Sleep constantly evaded him now, possibly because of the great distraction that was _**The Bond**_. Ever since he'd stepped back into the castle, it had latched back onto him, especially when he'd had Zero in his arms, and their proximity was reinforced by it. What he had assumed to be his own bloodthirst outside the mausoleum, clawing at his throat, was in fact the force of the Bond urging him to feed Zero. Too long it had been since he'd felt his fangs pierce his skin, the twinge of pain overridden by a wave of hot bittersweet emotion which suffused his skin, the sleepy ardour of the act of feeding which seeped through his brain and lulled him into a soothing state, far more restful than any meditation or sleep could ever achieve. Kaname felt his neck itching to be Bitten, blistering like a mosquito bite on his skin. The fact that the last time he'd seen Zero he'd been wrapped around someone (never mind that it was only his brother) also taunted him, nagging him to go to Zero, _take him, feed him… even better – claim him, __**Bite **__him_…

"No!" he gasped, shooting up into a sitting position. He groaned, feeling the sway of the sudden movement induce a new headache between his eyes. But he was more preoccupied by the fact that he had thought – he had just thought about _Biting_ Zero. Horror shot through his veins. Biting Zero would Bond them completely – he couldn't let that happen! It was the Bond playing with him, messing with his mind and coaxing him to complete itself, because it was dying to be completed –

Kaname quickly blocked out the sounds, closing his eyes tightly and pulling the dusty covers around him so securely, he could not move his arms. The covers acted like restraints, tying him down on the bed. If he wasn't tied down, he was afraid what he might do.

He squeezed his eyes shut so tight he could see bright fuzzy white patches scattered inside the blackness of his inner eyelids. He desperately wanted to _just_ _**sleep**_.

But how could he sleep, when there was such a strong gravitational pull dragging his mind towards Zero's? It almost felt like he was obsessed with Zero. It would be a silly metaphor to describe Zero as the sun, but for Kaname, at that moment at least, he felt that was so – Zero was essential to Kaname's life, but not only that… it felt like Kaname was just a revolving planet, caught in an orbit in cold space; and from the cold darkness, he was craving the warmth and light. The Bond wasn't just a _need_, it was also a _want_. And Kaname… Kaname really _wanted_ Zero.

* * *

><p>"What…what was that noise?" Ichiru asked, wide-eyed. Seconds after his little speech, they'd heard a high-pitched shriek from somewhere in the castle. The noise had followed after a raucous <em>crash<em>, which from Zero's experience, sounded exactly like Kaname barrelling through a door – he remembered the sound of that from the night when Rido (in Shiki's body) had attacked him on the bed, and Kaname had arrived in a cloud of sawdust from the blown door.

Yagari burst into the room, his cigarette hanging from his lips, "Did you hear that? There was a blast and then it… it sounded like a _monkey_!"

"Eh? That wasn't a monkey. Guys, that noise was a girl," Zero said incredulously, hobbling over to the doorway and poking his head out to stare down the corridor, "That was a girl and-"

Suddenly there was a gale of wind coming down the corridor, rattling the window panes. That could only mean one thing: a certain Pureblood was approaching them, at speeds which most people shouldn't travel at –

Yagari yanked Zero back into the room, just as Kaname appeared right beside where he had been. The older Hunter snarled, throwing his arms out in front of his students protectively. His instincts had flared when Kaname appeared, and his fingers were just itching to be wrapped around his faithful gun, but he managed to curb that instinct – they _were_ in this Vampire's home, as guests, so shooting…was off the charts, most likely.

He then lowered his arms, though he eyed Kaname guardedly.

The Vampire was… in the most unkempt state he had ever seen him. His unruly head of dark wavy hair was so _ruffled_ that it could almost be unsightly, were he not a Vampire. He had dark bags under his eyes which would also be seen of as ugly, were he not a Vampire, and the bags not hollow his eye-sockets and make haunting glowing rubies in the recess of his eyes. His clothes were completely rumpled, and… Kaname just looked like a mess.

Yagari smirked.

"Yes, Majesty?" he drawled, graciously tipping his hat.

"I need to…see Zero…" he panted, showing a restless side of himself the others had never seen before with his ruby eyes darting frantically into the room. As they landed on Zero, the Hunter nearly recoiled from the way Kaname's whole body drooped in relief. What was he so worried about? Zero patted himself down anxiously… the only things he could feel wrong with him were his bruises, but they weren't much to worry about.

Kaname however, slumped against the doorway, his eyes still fixated distractingly on Zero. In Zero's mind, he was taken back to the time when he had been against the wall with Kaname staring intensely at him like this, all over again. Except this time his eyes held some fiery emotion, where they had held curiosity. This time Kaname's face looked pained…

"Kuran,"

They both spun around to Yagari, who was crushing his cigarette in his gloved hand.

"I only came to drop off Ichiru, so I'll be going now," Yagari said, his eyes sweeping over to the twins, reminding them what they had agreed to do. He looked back at Kaname with a roll of his eyes, "Kaien assigned me to stay at the Academy. He was supposed to go settle our troops, but… well, now _I _should go do that, in his place. I suppose he's at the Academy-"

"He is," Kaname interrupted, "I… We bumped into him before, and he said that he would return to guard the Academy,"

"Then I'll be going to your barracks, if that's where they're all meeting?"

"Yes. If all has gone well, the Hunters should already be there at the barracks. I'm not sure if they've set off already-"

"They wouldn't have. Not without me," Yagari grunted, nodding once more at them all, "Well then, I'll be off," he announced, eyes flickering once more in warning at the twins, and then Kaname, before he set off down the corridor in a brisk march.

"Yagari-san!"

The Hunter turned around, squinting at Kaname, though he was barely far enough to do so. Zero suspected he was pretending Kaname was as small and indistinguishable as a tiny mosquito in the air – at least, he often called "them Vampires" _mosquitoes_ or _bloodsuckers_. He rolled his eyes at his sensei's obvious attempts to _look down on_ Kaname and deliberately disrespect him, like a child sticking their tongue out at the retreating back of a loathed figure. How childish.

"I must request a favour from you," Kaname said calmly, diplomatically. "When you get to the barracks, I need you to ask something of your men,"

Yagari's squinting eyes narrowed further, "Oh?"

"I need you to create a distraction,"

* * *

><p>Kain opened the door slowly, and grimaced at the smell of dried and fresh blood pouring out of the room, just like the darkness which seemed to seep out from the pitch blackness of the room.<p>

"Ladies first," he grunted, holding the door wide open for her, and receiving a sharp poke in the ribs as Ruka passed him into the darkness.

As blunt as ever, Ruka jabbed the light switch on, and blinding artificial light flickered once, twice, and then illuminated the whole room. And it made everything look a hundred times worse.

The light cream walls were spattered in dark… liquid, and the harsh contrast seemed to make the smell of blood all the more present and strong. Kain recoiled, seeing Shiki's body curled up on the mattress so still. He looked dead.

But when they approached the bed, he shifted, and then he sat up suddenly, gasping for air like he'd been underwater. Kain could spot a puddle of blood he'd been lying in, and saw the fact that his face was half-smeared in it, as well as the long gashes across his cheek (near the curse scar) which told of his attempts to claw his own face off. Shiki's already wild hair was completely crazy, like he'd poked his finger in an electric current, and the almost feral look in his eyes made him look completely deranged. A guttural raspy noise came from him, and his chest heaved. He was breathing, but it sounded like rough sandpaper on stone.

He sounded thirsty.

Kain squeezed one of the syringes a tiny bit, so a single droplet oozed out of the top of the needle.

That alone sent Shiki into a mad frenzy, his eyes lighting red and he shuddered, clawing at the already ruined sheets.

They knew they had to act fast. Who knew if the smell would awaken Rido's interests?

Ruka crouched near the cage and rattled them a little, "Shiki, come here. Come here…" she called softly, like one would to a skittish cat. She beckoned him with a smile, holding her hand out to Kain for one of the syringes. He handed her the one with the droplet. The blood droplet fell and splashed to the floor.

Surprisingly enough, Shiki howled in an animalistic cry, and barrelled right into the bars in front of Ruka, causing her to squeak in shock. But she recovered quickly, swiftly catching one of Shiki's grappling hands through the bars and tugging it so it came through a little. She immediately pierced the needle into him and steadily squeezed the plunger, ignoring his frenzied grunts and his other arm which was hammering the cage. The vibrations shook her, but she held firm.

"Ruka!" Kain cried, seeing to his disbelief, the cage bars bend minutely from where Shiki was beating them. That was… That was impossible! These cage bars were reinforced with Kaname's powers! They shouldn't be able to even be _scratched _by Shiki, let alone _bent_! But Kain then realised, with a sinking sensation in his gut, what this must mean. There was only one way he was getting stronger – "Ruka!" he yelled insistently, as he caught sight of – yes, there it was. Shiki's anguished face twisted into a familiar sneer, and then one of his hunger-reddened eyes bled into a swirl of mismatching blue-

Ruka noticed it too, and quickly finished the first syringe. Rido had noticed them. He was resurfacing. She had to practically sink her nails into Shiki's hand with how tightly she had to hold onto it, as he suddenly grew stronger, and began to draw back –

"No!" she screamed, watching as her fingernails scratched deep gashes into his knuckles as his hand fell away from her. Shiki fell back onto the mattress, rolling on his back and curling into a ball again. He fell still, and then there was only the sound of her shocked panting and Kain's heavy breathing. Shiki was silent.

Was it Shiki? Or was it Rido?

It was impossible to tell, and Ruka stared balefully at the other full syringe. Was one syringe of Yuuki's Pure blood enough to heal Shiki? They could only wait.

What if it only strengthened Shiki's body? There were other wounds on him, she couldn't forget – after seeing his injured face up-close. Shiki appeared as if he had tortured himself – self-inflicted slashes, deep and unforgiving, littered his skin _everywhere_. He must have been distracting himself from Rido's possession by… by causing himself to hurt a _lot_.

Then the body on the bed began to unfurl itself, in pained shuddering movements. Something about the uneasy way his body moved told Ruka it was –

"Shiki!"

The boy unbalanced on his bloody knees, sobbing as he fell onto his front, the mattress springs twanged as his weight shifted. And then he was crawling, slowly, excruciatingly slowly towards them. Shiki let himself collapse right at the perimeter of the cage, within reach of Ruka's hand. She reached out and let her hand gently settle on his head, sinking into the warm, sticky mess of his hair carefully, so as to not hurt his injuries further. Ruka combed his hair from his face, sighing with relief when she saw his two bright blue eyes, brimming with tears.

He sobbed brokenly against her hand, clutching it to his face. The only comforting touch he'd felt in ages…

"I-Is it… over?"

"It's over, it's okay Shiki, shh…" she whispered, using her other hand to calmingly untangle his hair. As she combed it back from his face, and gingerly stroked away the splash of blood on his cheek, she inwardly sighed again in relief.

The scar was gone.

* * *

><p>"A distraction?" Yagari jeered, swaggering back to Kaname and mentally jabbing him right in the chest. Kaname willingly stepped back. "I am <em>well<em>-experienced, _boy_. I know damn well that by 'distraction' you mean, '_Are ye willing to sacrifice your men so they can do the fighting while I do my thing?'_ and the answer is **no**. The men you send as a 'distraction' never come back alive - they go on a suicide mission. I don't know if you Vampires think that we are something of _expendable_, like some little…shitty _pawns_ on a chess-board. But we aren't gonna be your fucking _shields_-"

"I **never** said that, Yagari-san, nor will I ever class Hunters as being expendable," Kaname stepped forwards again, a pulse in his jaw jumping at that, and his eyes flickered over at Zero once, "We are _all_ a part of this War now, Hunters and Vampires alike. I asked for a distraction. You can take my race and throw us at the enemy as _your_ shields, if you want. But if you're like me, you'll take a soldier for a soldier – Hunter or Vampire – it doesn't matter anymore. If none are sacrificed, all of us will die. I'm leaving it to _you_ to choose who you will send as the decoy troop – whether Hunter or Vampire or _both_, if you do as I say, you'll tell them to search for Rido himself and _distract him_.

"The men will likely die," he said slowly, but his gaze didn't waver on Yagari's, "But that is a price we must pay. We need Rido to be distracted, whilst we work to find a Weapon – the Weapon which will be able to kill Rido for good. The place we're searching is a place he is likely to be somewhere he's keeping an eye on. This place… means something to him. If he even for a moment suspects us to be there, he will come and get us, and it will all be **over**,"

Yagari coughed, unsettled by Kaname's orders, but for once, seeing his logic, and the way that he was coming half-way to an agreement with himself. It only required Yagari to go the remaining half of the way to meet him, and then for the first time ever, he would have properly allied himself to a Pureblood.

But Yagari wasn't a stupid man – he _truly_ understood what Kaname was saying, and though he was unwilling to admit it – deep down inside he knew Kaname was a 'good' Pureblood, with similar ideals of peace that his own mentor, Kaien did. From what Kaname had said, there was justifiable reasoning to why he wanted Yagari to choose a group of men to go and die for a _distraction_ – it was so that they could find a way to end the whole war, during the time of the distraction. What Kaname said made sense. It was just that… he was reluctant to back down from a lifelong hatred of Purebloods for _one Pureblood that was good_. Kaname just _had_ to destroy the one sturdy belief in Yagari's life that he had been taught from his own sensei, and that he had continued to live by – that Purebloods were the worst of the worst, and you should _never_ trust them.

Kaname just _had _to be the one Pureblood who was all _good_ and _brave _and _clever_.

"So… you need time?"

Kaname nodded, "Yes,"

"How… How much?"

"I don't know. Probably at least until tomorrow,"

"If I go to the barracks and send them off immediately…" Yagari paused. He was agreeing to helping someone he held absolutely no trust, nor much respect to, because… because he… "It will take at least fifty men off, to even hold him back till nightfall,"

Kaname nodded, "It must be done,"

Yagari nodded back at him, "You'll make their lives worth it," he stated, not even asking. It was a demand. _You'll make those men's lives spent for your precious time worth every droplet of blood spilt, or if their lives are wasted, so help me…_

"Yes,"

The Hunter nodded, holding Kaname's gaze for a few more moments, before he turned and headed back down the corridor.

"Kaname, did you find it?" Zero blurted, as soon as Yagari was halfway down the corridor. "The Weapon, did Lady have it?"

He shook his head, "I could feel it there, but she… Lady will not allow me to get to her Weapon,"

"What?" Zero exclaimed, grabbing a fistful of Kaname's shirt and making to drag him into the room to talk properly, but Kaname remained solidly in the corridor.

"It's useless – she can't bear to kill him, he's still her lover so she can't let me have the Weapon. But there is always the chance that there is another Weapon out there,"

"Where?"

"I'll show you, I'll take you there with me," Kaname said hurriedly, pulling Zero backwards into the corridor with him. Then Kaname's eyes landed on Ichiru, and he stopped. "He…he can't come with us,"

"Kaname?"

Kaname grasped Zero by the arms and forcibly dragged him out of the room, shutting the door before Ichiru could get through it, and there was an audible click as he locked it. As soon as the door locked, they could hear Ichiru's weak fists beating on it.

"No – Kaname, he has to come with us! Kaname-!"

"Shut up," Kaname growled, lifting Zero and running down the corridor, to a different guestroom. He kicked open the door, but this time made sure to keep it intact. It swung and locked behind them, and then he set Zero down on the bed.

As soon as Zero touched the sheets, he kicked Kaname in the stomach, and wrestled to be let go – but Kaname then did something Zero had not anticipated.

He stepped back, but held Zero there with his mind and pushed him so he lay flat on the bed. There was a horrible instance where Zero was reminded of –

_Isamu, crushed against the rock surface, held by nothing more than Katsuo's will_

– and then he blinked, and looked up at Kaname. He forced himself to breathe, and reminded himself – this was Kaname, not Katsuo. Even so, he felt incredibly vulnerable held in Kaname's invisible grip, and couldn't help but squirm.

Kaname swept down beside him, kneeling on either side of him and lowering himself over Zero, caging him with his arms, forcing Zero to lie completely still. He hovered directly above Zero, and then buried his head next to his right ear, stretching and arching his already bared neck to him.

"Bite me, Zero. _Feed_,"


	70. A Palpable Tension PART 2

"What the _fuck_?" Zero squawked, roughly pushing Kaname back by his jaw. He glared up at the Pureblood, now towering over him, perched on his knees on the edge of the mattress. Even though Kaname loomed over him, strangely enough, Zero felt completely in charge. He felt stronger and more in _control_ than Kaname, and as he stared more at his captor, he could see how agitated Kaname really looked. And Zero then also picked out things he hadn't noticed before – the hollow bags under Kaname's eyes, his messy hair and pallid face – "What the hell happened to you? You look like shit,"

Kaname scoffed lightly, falling back on top of Zero with a wry grin on his face. Though Zero felt troubled by the confined space, the sight of Kaname smiling put something at ease in his mind.

"I'm tired," the Pureblood admitted, which surprised Zero – since he was admitting to having the weakness of _fatigue_, just like all other petty mortals. "But it's not only that," Kaname shuffled forwards, back to the position from before, causing Zero to suck in a sharp breath – again accidentally allowing the Pureblood's intoxicating scent to flood into his nostrils, "The Bond demands… the Bond needs to be _sated_,"

Suddenly all the hairs on Zero's arms and neck stood up, and he could literally feel the sweep of his eyelids as they pulled back, and his eyes widened in horror.

Was Kaname asking…to _complete _the Bond?

It seemed as though Kaname understood what he was thinking, because he quickly pulled his head back and babbled his words to placate him.

"I didn't mean it like – not like _that_, Zero! Oh, I worded it badly… I meant that, the Bond _demands_ things, from **me**, because I am the 'feeder'. Only **I** feel the effects of the Bond because of this – such as the desire to complete the Bond – which we _won't _do! Also, the desire to feed you. The desire to be… to be near you…"

Zero's mouth fell open in surprise, but he quickly regained his wits, and reached up to support Kaname's weight, by his chest. The Pureblood's arms were trembling slightly, and the worried expression on his face told Zero he was frightened by what he had confessed. Strangely enough, Zero was glad that Kaname was admitting these things to him – that he was telling him his weaknesses. He felt surprisingly _honoured_ to be entrusted with Kaname's weaknesses like this, to be privy to them.

"Kaname, didn't you tell me before that the Bond was like a leash?" he said quietly, finding Kaname's lips pinching together, "You told me that with every feeding, the leash shrinks, and there is some sort of limit that you can be within around me, but when you go beyond that it _hurts_ you. If I feed from you again, the leash will shorten, will it not? Isn't this the reason why you've supplied me with blood bags?"

"It is," Kaname breathed, unsuccessfully trying to talk and chew on his lip at the same time, "But… There are some things that, you cannot resist. Even if I may be leashed tighter to you. Even if it causes me more pain later on to be parted from you. I need to be able to satisfy the short term. I need to be able to focus **now** to retrieve the Weapons and end this war, but I _can't_, not with the Bond nagging at me all the time to let you feed from me. It's consuming my every thought, trying to recall the sensation of your Bite,"

Again Zero's jaw fell slightly, but he recovered just as swiftly, finding as always that there were more questions to ask, more things to say, and there was no time to stay slack-jawed right now.

"But…" he began, trying to string together a proper question quickly, "But if you're so tightly leashed to me, you won't be able to focus even more when we're apart – and we'll have to stay together-"

"Exactly," Kaname nodded vigorously, "We have to stay together now, and from now till the end of the war. I'm not leaving you again, not a chance, not ever,"

"_What_?" Zero gasped, shoving at Kaname's chest this time, instead of steadying him. He already felt physically trapped, but now that Kaname was going around _deciding things for himself_, and _telling Zero_ that he was to stay with him, well – "No fucking _way_ are you telling me to stick with you-"

"You don't have a choice, I'm afraid," Kaname cut in, and Zero found his hands flying down onto the bed, his arms pressed flat against his earlobes, "Whenever I leave you alone, Rido comes for you and you end up hurt someway. I will not allow this to happen again. Mark my words, you will not be harmed again, not with me there beside you,"

Zero found himself stunned into silence from Kaname's indomitable words, and the fervent promise in his voice. It was… it was completely overwhelmingly overprotective, the way that Kaname was acting, yet for once Zero felt _touched_ by his concern. There was something in the way that Kaname spoke which beat down the voice of denial in Zero's head which told him that Kaname just wanted him to stay alive so _he_ could also stay alive (Kaname's life depended on Zero being alive too), and told him that _Kaname cared for him_ somewhat.

"So," he croaked, clearing his throat lightly, "We're going to stick together in this war? As in, I'm going with you everywhere?"

"Everywhere," Kaname promised, his eyes suddenly twinkling as he recognised the tiny hopeful tone in Zero's voice. He knew how frustrated Zero must feel, cooped up in the castle for so long, with nothing to do but heal. "You'll be coming with me, after you've fed, and we've both recovered for a bit. We'll go straightaway to look for the next Weapon,"

"Aren't you going to be made even weaker by me feeding from you?"

Kaname's face cracked into a wide grin, and Zero was horrified to find his face heating from the sheer dazzling beauty of his smile.

This was _really_ not the time to admire _someone's_ pretty face.

"I'll be fine, as long as you're alright," Kaname insisted, lowering himself again and resting his forehead near Zero's right ear once more. He pressed his neck to Zero's lips, "You don't have to take much if you aren't thirsty, just Bite me-"

Zero's fangs broke his skin, and Kaname's jaw went slack as he sighed in pleasure. The blood that had been gushing upwards to his throat all this time – urging him to feed Zero, finally found its release down Zero's throat. He hummed softly in contentment at the buzz being Bitten gave him – it was like finally he could feel something other than longing… the feeling of longing had become particularly prevalent when Zero was hugging his brother. That pang of loneliness still lingered after he had left the brothers to their reunification, but now it was drowned out by the waves of relaxing heat shivering up his body with each suck of blood, each mouthful Zero took from him. Kaname's body practically squashed Zero flat into the mattress as he slumped onto him in relief, but Zero merely patted what part of Kaname he could reach – his left ear. In Kaname's relaxed state, he had loosened his mental hold on Zero's left hand, and now he could move it freely, he chose to comfort the heaving body of the strained Pureblood on top of him.

For Zero, he could barely remember the last time he had tasted the wonderful hot, sweet fresh blood that rushed into his mouth, pumped straight from Kaname's heart. His tongue sang in delight at the rich, velvety drink that gushed into his hungry throat, and he shut his eyes, knowing they were flashing red now. He hadn't been thirsty before, but it was like being given chocolate when you didn't want it at first – once you'd taken a bite, you couldn't help but want _more_.

But he reminded himself – Kaname was tired, so taking too much blood would be detrimental to his health. Zero slowly slid his fangs out, licking the wounds until they closed.

Kaname shivered as he did this, the tingling sensation of his tongue on his sensitive neck causing goose bumps to erupt on his skin. He felt like pushing against Zero's face, pressing his fangs back into his skin and urging him to _drink more_. But already he could feel the Bond purring again, satisfied that the Bondmates were close together again, and that the 'feeder' had done his duty. Kaname could vaguely sense the Bond snap tighter between them, but since he was _on top of Zero_, it didn't hurt at all. He hesitated, tensing as Zero rolled his head back and sighed contentedly. Part of him knew that he should move off of him right now, but Zero's body was so warm and comfortable underneath him. Kaname dropped his head onto his shoulder with a small huff.

Even without sleep or a little rest, Kaname felt completely satisfied. Even _energised_ by the experience, funnily enough. He heard Zero smack his lips, and a small bubble of laughter rose in his throat, escaping as a snort from his nose. Zero's head popped up, and he craned his neck to look down at Kaname properly, a frown plastered on his face. Kaname laughed properly this time, causing Zero to also smile, although he wasn't sure _why_ he was smiling.

"Do you feel better, now you've been drunk?" Zero grinned. Kaname chortled.

"Ha, yes. It doesn't make sense to me either, but feeding you… I can't explain it, but I feel very satisfied now," Kaname bobbed his head enthusiastically, "My body can relax now," and even in Zero's critical eyes, he saw that the hollow bags in Kaname's eyes looked less bold. All Kaname needed was a little sleep and then he'd be better. "Are you hungry?"

Zero raised his eyebrow, "_No_," he said slowly, speaking to Kaname as if he was stupid, "I've just _had_ something right now-"

"No, no, I meant _food_ food," Kaname said, grinning down at him crookedly, "You've not eaten in a while. By your stomach's snake-like schedule, do you need urgent refuelling?"

Zero considered whether he was hungry, peering down between their bodies to the shadow where his stomach was. It didn't gurgle.

"No, I'm fine,"

"You sure?" Kaname asked, concern colouring his voice again. Zero rolled his eyes.

"I told you, I'm fine!" he maintained, waving his left hand around insistently. And then his eyes caught sight of his hand, and he saw the white skin, where the bruises had been. He drew his hand back, "Kaname? Kaname, look," he held his hand to Kaname's face.

Kaname leaned on one arm and took the hand with his other. He peered down at the paleness of Zero's hand, gaping for a few seconds, and then smiling at Zero again, though this time he looked more nervous than happy.

"I understand," he spoke softly, stroking Zero's hand reverently, "You see, by the logic that the doctor told us about our bloods warring, I can only determine that – since you have just drunk some of my fresh blood, for now my blood is overpowering yours. The conflicts are lessening because my blood is winning against yours,"

Zero's body tensed as he processed this information, not knowing whether he should feel grateful that his bruises were melting away, or worried because _Kaname's fresh blood was defeating his Hunter blood!_

His Hunter side was screaming in fury, whilst his body was screaming in relief.

"I think the effects will only be temporary,"

Kaname tossed Zero's hand into the air a little way, and then caught it carefully, like he was weighing a bag of gold. Their eyes followed the movement, and then met each other again.

"Our bloods' strengths are well-matched, Zero," he said firmly, "Soon enough, when the power is drained from my fresh blood, the bloods will be at a balance again, and then I suspect that the blood war in your body will begin again. **That** is how evenly matched they are,"

Funnily enough, this actually calmed Zero down a bit, and it was strangely flattering to hear that Kaname thought his Hunter blood was on par with his own Pure blood. He stared at their hands, stifling a gasp when he was again, sent a flashback to when –

_Kaname had taken Isamu's hand in his, pressed his lips to his knuckles as he gazed adoringly down at his beloved, lying in the grass _

– and he jerked his hand back from Kaname's grasp, peering up at the Pureblood's bewildered expression sheepishly. Zero coughed awkwardly to the side, licking his dry lips.

"The Bond is…?"

"Shorter, definitely shorter, but you'll… you'll come with me now, won't you?" Kaname asked, a note of hesitation in his tone. He lowered his eyes, and Zero was quite impressed by how the proud Pureblood desisted from his tasteless bossing around, and gave Zero a _choice_.

In this choice, Zero _could_ go with Kaname (which he wanted to do, because he was desperate to get in on the action, and get away from the bloody indoors), or he _could_ **not** go with Kaname. The latter choice would render Kaname in unbearable pain from breaking from the leash. If it wasn't for the fact that Zero already knew he wanted to go with him, the idea that them staying apart would hurt Kaname unnecessarily would already fault his soft heart.

"I will," he agreed, finding Kaname's rewarding smile a breath of relief. He quirked an eyebrow at Kaname, clearly telling him to: _Get the hell off me now, please_. And Kaname swung off him agilely, taking a seat beside him as he sat up. "So, where is this other Weapon then?"

Kaname glanced at him, a calculating look, and then he looked back down at his clasped hands in his lap.

"I don't know…" he muttered, clearing his throat, "I don't know how much you _know_, from what you've seen in the Memories, but you _are_ aware that I was the one who killed Katsuo first, right?"

Zero nodded.

"But if you gained my full Memories, even then you will know that there is a blank in the period where I killed him. I don't know _how_ I killed him. On the night when Rido attacked you through Shiki's body, he told me that I strangled him to death, but I don't completely believe him,"

"You think you had a Weapon?"

Kaname sighed, "I need to explain how Weapons are made to you first, for you to understand. Weapons are made from either extreme hate or extreme fear, or simply the desire to kill that _one person_. They can be made from anything – even something you would not regard as a weapon – like a… a tree branch, or something. They can be made in an instant – on impulse, or they can be deliberately planned to be made.

"I'm guessing that there is a possibility that during that blank period, I _could_ have created a Weapon out of something, just to kill him then and there. It could have been a rock, or anything. But because it was **me** who made that Weapon, technically, _I_ could find it much easier than anyone else. I could sense it if it was near me, and because I have an idea where the Weapon might still be, that is a good place to start, don't you think?"

"Yeah," Zero agreed, rubbing his knees with his pale hands, "So that would be in the Pass – in Fuyu Pass, right?"

Kaname tensed beside him, and Zero frowned. There was something that was troubling Kaname, for sure. Something about him… about him and the Memories? Was there something Kaname worried about him knowing?

"Yes, it must be in that area,"

Zero blinked, shaking himself out of his thoughts.

"Somewhere there, we may find it,"

"May I ask, why my brother cannot come along too?" Zero drawled then, turning his piercing stare to Kaname, who grimaced.

"You may, and I will answer," he said shortly, sucking in a deep breath, "I have a plan, which I made very quickly and quite recently, but I think it will work, at least for the short time we'll be gone,"

"Explain,"

"Well, with you and me going out of the castle, in secret, to retrieve this Weapon, it leaves Rido thinking that we are still in the castle. But since we _won't_ be, there is the chance that he will send spies, or even come by himself to see if we are there. If he does so, we have two decoys who will be perfect to cover for us, while we are away-"

"You're using my brother as a _decoy_?" Zero exclaimed, recoiling from Kaname's side. Immediately he was pulled back beside him, and held there only by Kaname's sharp look.

"And _my _sister," Kaname snapped, his jaw tightening as he spoke, "If Rido comes by, the only thing he can really sense to identify _me_ is my blood and Pureblood aura. But with Yuuki here, he will sense _her_ blood and Pureblood aura. Similarly, from _you_ he will only be able to sense your Hunter aura, above all else – your Vampire aura is faint," he said apologetically, though it barely bothered Zero, "But he will sense _Ichiru-san's _Hunter aura in your stead,"

"You're putting them in danger-"

"I am _not_. If you remember clearly, I told Yagari to send a decoy troop too, to distract Rido's eye even more. That plan is meant to keep them as safe as they can be, in the castle. With Rido distracted, hopefully he will not even be able to come and snoop around the castle, and they will be **fine**,"

Zero's throat clenched when he remembered suddenly that – fifty odd men would be sacrificed during their mission, just to keep Rido at bay.

He felt the urge to go _immediately, _and not waste a single second of the precious time they were being given.

So he stepped off the bed, taking Kaname's sleeve and dragging him off it too.

"Let's go then," he muttered, leading them to the door, "We should go right now. There's no time to waste,"

As they stepped into the corridor, they heard the thundering of footsteps. And when they turned around, they saw a lumbering giant coming their way.

* * *

><p>"It worked! It worked!"<p>

Kain staggered to a clumsy stop in front of them, bent over as he panted heavily. Kaname smacked him happily on the shoulder – unfortunately this made his knees buckle, and he fell to the floor.

"Shiki is cured?" Kaname asked, a responding grin answered him, and he returned it. Zero also grasped Kain's shoulder.

"He's cured? How did you-"

"No time," Kaname cut off, cutting Zero's glare with his own impassive look. He turned back to Kain, "How is he?"

Kain's smile dwindled a little, but he still looked terribly relieved, "Physically, he's been almost completely healed by Yuuki's blood. But mentally… e-emotionally…" he shrugged one shoulder with a wry grin, "…He's coping. Some part of Rido still lingers in him though – we can sense it. Since Rido _is _Shiki's father, their bloods are quite compatible, and there is still a large proportion of Shiki's blood which is Rido's. We don't think he can control him anymore, but, of course, we aren't sure," he paused, "What Ruka said was that he needs to be around people, and to be _hugged _a lot," he chortled, "He needs to build up his confidence around us again, and see that we still trust him,"

"We do," Kaname nodded, "Tell him that there is nothing to blame him for, and we trust him completely. Tell him everyone thinks he's been admirably strong, and there will be no more tears," he peered knowingly at Kain, finding the fire-master's eyes shining with gratitude. "If you can, get Rima to comfort him – she knows him best,"

In truth, the fact that Shiki was cured lifted a great weight from _everyone_'s shoulders. The guilt he had felt was so saddening, that no one could escape it, when they were around him. His suffering was shared, even though it may never be quite understood by them, how much he had suffered.

"Kaname, if you can, I think that we should, you know… release him now, from the cage," Kain stuttered as he was lifted back onto his feet.

Kaname nodded, pausing a moment in thought, and then lifting a finger to his lips. He bit it, letting a little blood drip down it, and catching it in a handkerchief, his perfect timing allowing not one droplet to spill onto the floor. He rubbed his bloody finger against the fabric slowly, and it was then that Zero realised he was writing something on it. He handed it to Kain.

"Just press this on the bars, they will disappear," he instructed, watching as Kain's red eyes were blinking rapidly as he tried to school his features back to normal, "Get him some food, and make sure he is well. Then I have other tasks for you.

"I want you to gather everyone, but most of all – make sure that Ichiru-san is near Yuuki. _Don't ask why_," he snapped, as Kain's mouth opened. It snapped shut again, "I have no time for explaining. Just, at the very least, make sure that they are in the same room. It's imperative that you do this, Kain,"

"Hai, Kaname,"

"Also, fix some sort of rota together – I want someone always awake and on alert for attacks, understood? Always remain vigilant. Rido will look for any weakness, and that includes idleness or carelessness,"

"Hai, Kaname,"

Kaname nodded, turning to see Zero with his arms folded and a rather mixed expression on his face – both peeved, by his bossiness no doubt, and impressed, probably from Kain's unfailing obedience and loyalty. He took Zero by the elbow and quickly marched them down the corridor, and as they passed the room Ichiru was locked in, there was a _click_ as he unlocked it swiftly. The door didn't open though. Perhaps Ichiru had gotten tired from trying to hammer the door down. Zero nonetheless twisted in Kaname's hold.

"Can't I at least-" _tell him goodbye?_

"You have no need to," Kaname appeared to read his mind and threw him an encouraging look, "We will return soon enough. Let's be quick about this, alright?"

Zero's throat bobbed, but he nodded, casting one last glance at the closed door, before he was frog-marched down the corridor.

They went across a good half dozen corridors, their speed gathering, and then Kaname paused at one turn.

He squeezed Zero's elbow.

"You sure you don't want something to eat? This is your last chance," he jerked his head towards a door. Zero sniffed, realising that the smell of food came from there: the kitchen. But his snake-like appetite still served him well at this moment. He wasn't hungry in the slightest.

"No," he answered. Kaname gave him a doubtful look, but then merely shrugged, wrapping one arm around his waist. Before Zero could make a noise, he was hoisted over his shoulder, and in a very familiar position on Kaname's back. Since he was so used to this – he knew very well that protesting, struggling and generally being disruptive would lead to nothing. So he remained quiet.

"Huh, are you beginning to enjoy the luxury of being carried?" Kaname joked, jostling him slightly. Zero winced, and he knew that without a doubt, the bruising must be coming back _already_. He hadn't drunk much blood though, so it wasn't surprising at all.

"Hardly," he scoffed.

"Prepare yourself," Kaname warned, tightening his hold on Zero's thighs. Zero squeezed his eyes shut and looped one arm around Kaname's neck for extra support. "I'm going to basically 'jump' there,"

"What, literally?"

"Of course not. I'm just going to run _really, __**really**_ fast, okay? Are you ready?"

"Yeah, yeah, ye-"

* * *

><p>The barracks were situated on mountainous terrain, where the elevated side of the back of the steep mountain sides had been carved into, and a series of tunnels ran directly into the ground, like rabbit burrows – the tunnels were in a network, with wider caverns opening into the living quarters of the soldiers. The smell of earth was rich and heady, but the coolness of the caverns let your head remain its clarity and calm. As he arrived into the barracks and observed the soldiers milling around, he appreciated their professionalism, since they weren't simply sitting around idle – they were resting and recovering, or training. Even though he'd only just entered the barracks, he could tell that <em>all<em> the soldiers had already been organised into patrols, defence troops etc.

So he sidled into what he deduced to be the main mission room, peering around at the people in it. As always, a large number of maps were spread out on the stone table in the centre, where a number of people were perched at its perimeter, and a multitude of stone weighed down the corners of the large pages – there he could spot a number of platoon leaders jabbering to one another over a small corner of the page, and then something he noticed about them shocked him to his core.

The soldiers he had seen all about – he'd sensed that there were Vampires here and there, as were there Hunters scattered around. But perhaps it had been a naïve assumption that he'd find them sticking in their own separate sides of the barracks. In the last War, the Hunters and Vampires had barely mixed with each other – cheesy as it may be to compare them, it had been like mixing oil and water. They only mingled where it was necessary.

But now…_now _that Yagari looked properly, he could spot – in the cluster of platoon leaders, there were a few Hunters and a few Vampires who were jabbering to each other like kids arguing over a toy. There was urgency in their faces, which spoke of honour and the desire to take on duties in whatever region they were arguing over, but there was also a strange sense of camaraderie in the way they squabbled, like they were good friends. As Yagari looked around at the other soldiers dotted around the room, he saw some laughing together, talking, a few embracing – like long-lost friends… it was madness, in his eyes.

Yet it also made some sense. A number of the soldiers were veterans from the last War. Though in Yagari's eyes, the two races had only mixed for the sake of defeating a larger enemy, there were some bonds that formed between comrades during War which could not be forgotten. He could safely assume that a lot of the Hunters he saw owed their lives to Vampire comrades, and vice versa. If you owed your life to someone, it was almost inevitable that you would get along well (or try to) with them.

It was definitely a good thing that this was so – Yagari mused – that at least, instead of tense animosity filling the air of the barracks, there was amity. The relaxed mood in the barracks was soothing, probably beneficial to the soldiers' health.

He strode up to the mission table, looking around at the faces which lifted to him. He could identify a good few of his Hunter troops, and they quickly bobbed their heads in respect to him. And then he spotted two faces that remained bowed studiously studying the maps, which he recognised as friends of Kaname – two blondes.

"Oi, you two," he barked.

And funnily enough, '_you two'_ lifted their heads at his summoning, and at first there was surprise on their faces, and then relief. Yagari could only guess how stressful it was, if they were the "big bosses" of the lot. Sometimes he had to step back from his well-known prejudice to the Vampires and realise that these were still only children, really – still of the school-pupil age, where the only worries they should have should be to pass exams, get friends and enjoy teenage life; not organise battles and lead armies.

"Yagari-san," the taller blonde said, coming around the side of the table to meet him, "Welcome. It's good to see you," he held out his hand, and Yagari shook it firmly. As he did so, he met the Vampire's steady gaze, and read reprieve, gratitude…and also, amazingly enough, subdued submission, in his eyes. This was the look one received from a significantly lower-down man, who came to give their respect to a higher-up man, knowing where the authority lay. This blonde boy clearly distinguished Yagari as being of higher authority, possibly due to his age and experience, and therefore he was stepping down from his commanding role.

The significance of this recognition hit Yagari – this person in front of him was no longer a boy. He was acting like a soldier, not a schoolboy. For some reason, this really bothered Yagari, seeing the kid's deceivingly young looks and then working out that he was acting much older than he should (because he had to).

"You are…?" he grunted, releasing his hand.

There was a polite, but not _forced_ smile, "Ichijou Takuma, my pleasure," he gestured to himself, "You may call me Ichijou," he then motioned to the smaller boy at his side, "This is Aidou Hanabusa. Please call him Aidou,"

He nodded, taking the other boy's offered hand in a grown-up handshake. Grown-up. Inwardly, Yagari shook his head. These boys…were men already. It was a sad fact, but war did this to people – it grew them up prematurely, and left kids with no childhood.

"Take no offence from my assumption, Yagari-san, but I must say…we were expecting Kurosu-sens… Kurosu-san to come here. Has there been an accident?" Takuma asked, a spark of worry in his eyes.

"He's fine," Yagari grumbled, rubbing his face distractedly, "I just stole his place here. Old man needs to stay in his damn school and rest," he muttered, finding a sardonic smirk painting his lips when he heard Takuma and Aidou let out small chuckles.

"Hardly," Takuma smiled, "I guess he's taken your place at the Academy then?"

"Yup, someone's gotta relieve Kaito-chan," he said, rolling his eyes at the thought of that stubborn teacher-trainee. He hoped the kid didn't get too trigger-happy on the job. Kaito had a nasty habit of getting side-tracked, or easily bored when he was 'baby-sitting' a bunch of Vampires and Humans. Yagari wondered about the state of the Night Class. _Nah, _Kaito knew not to stir trouble amongst the Vampires, especially whilst he was in charge (especially when either Kaien or he would come to relieve him later. He wouldn't want to be found with Vampire blood on his hand, or gun).

He sauntered over to where the two had been standing, peering at the collection of dots and scribbles on their patch of map. "What's going on here?"

"We're organising new defences to surrounding settlements," Aidou said, tracing a finger around a small cluster of villages, "These are most at risk, though… we aren't really sure where Rido might target, so we have to spread ourselves. There aren't enough people to provide stable defences for any of these settlements, so we're ordering them into a small branch network spread across the area. If there is an alert, the others will gather around and form a barrier. A messenger comes back to base," he trailed his finger back towards a thick marked cross on the map, "And we'll send in reinforcements. It's pretty simple, but the difficulty is in figuring out strategic points for the lookouts to stand in, and figuring out how many we can spare on the job,"

God. These were definitely soldiers, not boys.

Yagari nodded in understanding, folding his arms, "Good,"

"How are the others?" Aidou then blurted, darting a look at Takuma, who looked just as apprehensive (though clearly about a certain someone). "Did you stop by the castle?"

"Yeah, they're good," he said shortly, blinking as he remembered what Kaname had asked from him. He squinted down at the two of them thoughtfully, assessing how they physically fared. Both of them looked pretty haggard, especially the smaller one, but still stood straight on their feet, so he decided that he should discuss Kaname's plans with them. They knew the soldiers better than he did, "I have to speak with you," he gestured to them to follow, "In private. There's a task your boss told me to handle, which needs to happen immediately,"

Instantly, Aidou and Takuma followed him out of the room, and then Takuma took the lead, guiding them to a quieter spot to talk. Yagari looked around warily, somehow feeling like he should tell them both before anyone else heard about the suicide mission. He then nodded at them, when he was certain they were alone.

"Your King has ordered me to organise a distraction – a decoy troop to go and divert Rido's attention whilst he carries out something in the background. I need you to find a suitable platoon of men willing to sacrifice their lives for this cause – this will be, a suicide mission,"


	71. Talisman

Clinging on for dear life, Zero found his face stinging from the harsh winds Kaname whipped up, and so he buried his face at the back of Kaname's head, using his thick hair as protection. Still, wind-tears dripped from his eyes and streaked horizontal lines across his face, some ending up in the crevices of his ears. He shook his head irritably, peering through his protective lashes at the swirl of scenery around them. As soon as he did so, his stomach protested from the madness, and he felt sick. Somehow, between the moment he'd been hefted up onto Kaname's back, and the last "yeah" he had uttered, they had moved from the inner corridor in the castle to the outdoors. Now, as far as he could tell, they were travelling across thick grasses and heading towards a forest.

When they hit the forest, Zero felt goose bumps prickle all over his skin, and his hair stand on end. They plunged into the dim lit forest, the coolness of the darkened path and drippings from the trees' leaves made it strangely feel like they'd dived into an underwater green. The dense foliage managed to slow Kaname down by a bit, and Zero opened his eyes again, this time looking upwards to where he craved he light. There was a glimmer of sunlight in the trees, through the thick branches overhead, but by the time it reached them, all the warmth had been leeched from it, and it was a cold light.

It was now that Zero realised – it was pretty much midday. Wasn't the daylight affecting Kaname?

He didn't seem to be affected much, but Zero knew how proud Kaname was. He told Zero about his weaknesses, where he saw fit, but he rarely liked showing them off to the world. Even if there was no one around but Zero, he was sure that Kaname would pretend that sunlight didn't hurt him at all, just so he didn't appear weak.

They plodded through the undergrowth. To Zero's reluctant awe, he managed to see the vegetation actually peel back from their path, a few metres ahead of Kaname. The Pureblood must be working his magic to let them pass easier on foot, being even able to move _plants_ out of his way.

"K-Kan. Na. Me," he grunted, with each bounce of his shoulder cutting off his speech. He felt Kaname squeeze his leg reassuringly, and found again – heat flaring up his face.

"It's alright. We're almost there," Kaname's smooth voice reassured him, and he quickly nodded, muted by his embarrassment. _Why was he blushing?_ Zero bit his lip hard, hissing when a sudden jolt made him cut his lip. He felt Kaname tense under him, but the Pureblood didn't stop running (or "jumping"), so he quickly sucked the cut till it healed.

"Sorry," he muttered into Kaname's neck, feeling his hot face flush even hotter. The fuck?

"Hmm," Kaname hummed, shaking his head as an '_it's okay'_. He shifted Zero again, slipping one hand around his waist, "Okay, we're almost there,"

The faint light above grew as the trees separated and thinned, and Zero – feeling it on his shut eyelids – opened his eyes again to see they were approaching, amazingly enough, the other side of the forest. It had only been a few minutes, he was sure, and already they had crossed an entire forest. But as he swivelled his head around (now he was able to without feeling dizzy) he realised that they had only cut across the top edge of a really thick forest, the narrowest end.

Kaname placed him back on his shaky legs just as they reached the edge of the forest cover, and whilst Zero regained his bearings (his gravity was off-kilter, after that brief trip), Kaname swept a long look around the area, scanning for any signs of anyone else. The area looked just as bare and unvisited as it always did. He quickly rearranged the vegetation behind him with a quick flip of his hand, and then took Zero's hand in his.

Zero flinched from the action, squeezing his jaw tight when he remembered, again –

_lacing their fingers together, and examining the way his white skin off-set Kaname's slightly darker skin. Their fingers slotted together comfortably, and he couldn't help but grin at the way Kaname's longer fingers caressed his skin so softly. Isamu squeezed his hand lovingly _

– and almost pulled his hand away from Kaname's, when he then spoke.

"Stay close," Kaname whispered in his ear, his fingers momentarily squeezing his. "We must stay alert. If he suspects at all that we are here, he can trap us very easily,"

"Where is it?" Zero hissed. And then he was spun around to face… the mountain.

"Down there," Kaname pointed with his other hand, towards somewhere unidentifiable in the rocky mountain side. "There's a crack in there-"

"The Crack?" Zero suddenly exclaimed, turning to Kaname with wide eyes, "That Crack where you and… and Isamu always met?"

Kaname's face then froze in shock, but he pinched his lips together and shook his head, "No. That Crack is on the other side of the Left Mountain, opening into Fuyu Pass. We're in the outer valley, at the back of that mountain. It's been a long time, Zero," he said quietly, leading them towards the rock face, "And over time, the Mountain has risen further, and eroded further inside, from the rainwater that drains in. The Crack became a cave, which then has become a tunnel. Now there are two entrances to it – from the side on Fuyu Pass, and from here, on the outside.

"I don't think that Rido knows about this secret entrance to the cave. It only recently opened in the past few years, after there was a sudden tectonic movement – the rock ripped open," he explained, gesturing to the few jagged cracks near the mountain base, and the broken rock debris. The way Kaname spoke about this place made it sound like he visited it often… As they came closer to it, the crack they were going to became more obvious, since it was larger than the others and… and…

Zero felt like he'd been here before.

"If you've seen the Memories I think you have, you'll know that in this mountain is the final resting place of I-Isamu," Kaname stammered, his hand tightening around Zero's, "And that I came to rest here too, after his death. If there was a Weapon I used to kill Katsuo, I think it might lie here. It's possible it was accidentally left here with my old corpse when I transferred into Kuran Kaname's body,"

Zero shuddered at this explanation, but he was still _distracted_. There was this niggling feeling that he'd been here before. When they got right to the rock face, he suddenly was hit with nostalgia, as he trailed his gaze up and down the side of the mountain. There were thin, thorny vines trailing all around the rock face, coiling around the cracks and jutting shelves of rock like delicate lace, splaying over the rock. Zero recognised the tightly closed, green buds as being closed rose buds, from their distinctive spindly shape. Intertwined with them were delicate bow-shaped stems of bleeding heart flowers, hanging like lanterns, rosy pink with their darkened arms curved up by their sides, looking as if they were rejoicing. They swayed in the cool breeze, which made Zero shiver.

_He had walked here, as a boy_.

He was reminded of the dream he'd had before, of when he was a young boy and got lost in the forest, and found himself near a mountain. As he stared up at the mountain, he remembered thinking that he would climb it to see his surroundings, and then perhaps find the adults he had lost sight of – though he had been distracted, by a certain crack in the rock wall.

* * *

><p>If it were any other situation, Kain would have laughed heartily and smacked Shiki on the back, calling him a pimp for being surrounded by pretty ladies – but he stopped himself before he could, knowing he would be punished by Ruka for being insensitive. Shiki was clad on all sides by the girls, his head was pillowed on Rima's lap and Yuuki and Ruka both sat by him too, each patting him every now and again. He was very close to sleep, but his eyes remained stubbornly open.<p>

"You need to rest, Shiki," Rima murmured, carding her hands through his cleaned hair, "Your body needs to recover properly,"

"If I sleep-"

"Nothing will happen, I promise you,"

"I know," he whimpered, making to sit up – but they all kept him lying down, "But I can still feel his blood in me. There so much there, I can't sleep,"

Kain sighed. Some parts of Shiki's skin looked damaged, like Zero's – with bruises of blood conflicts spreading under his skin layer. Eventually, they all knew that Rido's blood would be defeated and flushed out of Shiki's body, but while it remained, it seemed to wrack a considerable amount of pain in his system. Enough so that he preferred to stay awake, exhausted as he was, just to bear with the pain and know that his body was still alert and fighting Rido. It was like a virus – a blood flu. Once his system had flushed Rido's blood out, he would finally be completely healed.

"Shh," Rima hushed, massaging his scalp. She looked up at Kain, her sharp eyes piercing his. "Aren't you in charge then?"

Kain frowned inwardly, but muttered, "Uh…yes?"

"And you said that Kaname told you to defend us," Ruka added, peeling herself away from Shiki's side. She moved towards him, just as Kain took a defensive step backwards.

"I am," he retorted, scowling shakily at her. Ruka didn't look impressed.

"You're meant to be active and alert, not standing there staring at us. Go walk around the halls – _patrol _the place, 'Katsuki," she drawled, pointing at the open door, "And for god's sake, bring something for Ichiru-san. He looks famished,"

Ichiru sputtered, shaking his head frantically, "No I'm fine, really Akatsuki-san," he insisted, batting his hand. They had found him in the room the three Hunters had been left in before, slumped near the door with his hands curled in fists. The marks on the door told them he'd been locked in and had been trying to get out. When he woke, he'd been frantic, asking where Zero was and _cursing_ Kaname. But shockingly, when they'd told him that Kaname had taken Zero somewhere, he had quietened down and been alright ever since then. Kain supposed that Ichiru must realise that Zero was in fact quite safe with Kaname, so he could relax.

"I'll get you something to eat," Kain said with an easy smile, looking around at the others, "Anyone else for something?"

"Get me some biscuits," Rima ordered quickly, "Some for me and Shiki – there are some white chocolate biscuits in the kitchens. The maids know where it is, ask them,"

Kain blanched, remembering that he'd eaten a good few of those biscuits when he'd arrived back at the castle with Kaname. He wasn't looking forwards to seeing what Rima would be like, knowing he'd invaded her stash, so he decided to stay quiet.

"Some fruit, maybe?" Yuuki chirped, looking at Ruka, who nodded encouragingly.

"Ichiru-san, what will it be?" Kain asked again.

Ichiru huffed, shrugging, "Whatever is easy. Maybe some… some fruit would be good, yes,"

"Alright. But Ruka, you know, if I'm going to get all your food errands, I'm leaving _you_ in charge now. See you!" Kain laughed, zooming out of the room and slamming the door shut behind him.

Ruka huffed, but sat back down on an adjacent chair. She pulled out a book from seemingly nowhere, and opened it at her marked page. This didn't really look at all like she was 'keeping guard', but none of them dared question her. Yuuki tilted her head to read the cover of the book, but found it a plain, blank black leather-bound. But just then, when Ruka tilted the spine to flick the page, she caught sight of a small shiny emblem.

A rose.

Yuuki gasped –

_She was a young girl again, barely past her toddler-stage, and she was perched on a warm comfortable lap, a long arm coiled around her small body supportively as she rested against her mother's bosom. There was the orange light from the fire, the only light in the room. And the sound of a scratching pen. The little girl grabbed hold of the restraining arm, arching against her mother to see what on earth she was doing on the table. There was an open book on the table, and she saw her mother's elegant hand scratching elaborately cursive script on the pages, pausing every now and again to dip the nib in the ink pot. Yuuki whined, reaching out towards the book. Her fingers brushed against one of the words, smudging the letter. The woman giggled, tugging Yuuki more firmly against her._

"_No Yuuki-chan, Mama's doing something right now. Rest, baby," _

_And she was bopped gently on the lap, curled into her mama's side, with her eyes drooping and her thumb pressed into her mouth. She watched the pen scratch, marvelling at the beautiful penmanship of her mother's calligraphy. As she peered up at her face, she noted sleepily, that her mama didn't look quite as happy or peaceful as she had sounded. In fact, a rather troubled expression marred the exquisite face of one Kuran Juri, and her eyebrows were drawn in a minute frown. Then her mother's eyes landed on her upturned face, and the troubled expression was blow away by a breathtaking smile. _

_Juri placed the pen down carefully and lifted Yuuki onto her shoulder, rubbing her back and humming as she stood up._

"_I'm sorry baby. Mama is just… Mama is just feeling silly today. Let's go get something to eat, okay?"_

_Yuuki gurgled appreciatively, but though she closed her eyes, she could feel the tenseness of her mama's shoulder, and the way she measured her breaths slowly and regularly to calm herself down. Mama was upset, but like onii-sama, she didn't like to show her sad face to Yuuki. Yuuki didn't understand why that was, because she let herself cry in front of them. It didn't make her feel weak or foolish, because she knew that they liked to know when she was sad, so they could cheer her up._

_She nuzzled against Juri's neck, nicking her skin with her tiny fang, and hearing her mama giggle again at the tickling sensation, she giggled too. A small pat on her bottom sent Yuuki into peals of laughter, and Juri bopped her into the air._

"_Ah, my Yuuki-chan!" the breathtaking smile on Juri's face was shattered by the obnoxious sounds of her blowing raspberries on Yuuki's neck. They enjoyed playing around a little more, before Juri snuggled Yuuki tightly, and dropped a kiss on her shoulder, "Let's go baby. Let's go make some cake…"_

"Mama!"

Ruka started, turning to Yuuki. The princess was wide-eyed, her hand outstretched towards her. She glanced down at herself, and then the book in her lap. Juri's diary. She extended it to Yuuki slowly, gasping as the girl took the book just as slowly from her, reverently placing it in her own lap. Yuuki traced the pages with an awed expression, her mouth agape.

"This is my Mama's," she breathed, quickly looking back up at Ruka, "Where did you find this?"

"In the library, near the top of the shelves," Ruka said, scratching her nose awkwardly, and then scolding herself when she realised how un-ladylike that was, "I… I didn't mean to-"

"I _remember_ this!" Yuuki gasped, opening the book carefully and tracing the elegant script, "I remember sitting with her as she wrote in here," the pads of her fingertips brushed the rose emblem on the spine, and Yuuki smiled weakly, finding her throat clenching with an unexpected urge to cry causing her smiling lips to tremble. She tilted her head at Ruka, her expression not at all affronted with Ruka's supposed invasion of her mother's privacy (although Ruka was looking completely abashed, and tried not to meet Yuuki's gaze). "Why do you have this?"

"I just picked it up," Ruka shrugged again, brushing a few strands of wavy hair behind her ears, "It looked interesting, and when I found out what it was about – or to _whom_ it belonged to, I realised that it might be useful. I was researching your family anyway," she said quietly, ducking her head again, "And because Rido is well-known for having bothered your parents a lot, I thought the chances of him being mentioned in her diary were quite high,"

"What has she written?" Yuuki asked quickly, running her eyes over the pages once more before she handed the book back to Ruka, the other girl relaxed with a sigh.

"So far, she has only commented on the strangeness of your unc- of _Rido's_ absence in your parents' lives. Before he started messing everything up, he was actually on good terms with your parents. You might not remember this," Ruka said, flicking through the book to her previous place. "I'm approaching the part… the part where Rido stole Kaname from them," Ruka bit her lip, glancing at Yuuki's still wide-eyed expression uncertainly, "Juri-sama… Juri-sama doesn't write much here. She mostly worries about you. I think she had given up all hope, and was resigned to the high possibility that Kaname was dead,"

"In a way he _was_ killed," Rima said, startling them all. But they remembered that time when Kaname explained to them his Awakening. He wasn't _Kuran Kaname_, he was _Kaname the Ancestor_. The life of Juri and Haruka's child had been sacrificed and given to him. Ruka flinched, but shook her head.

"You have no idea how relieved Juri was to have Kaname back – even though she writes, '_…he draws himself away from me sometimes, though it is probably the trauma of the incident, since he was stolen by someone with warm arms like mine. He is only a child. My child. My Kaname. What horrors he must have seen? I can only imagine. This is not my child anymore. If he never trusts me again, I will never forgive myself.' _That is all she writes. She never specifically mentions any suspicions about who her child is, or what happened, but I think… I think she _knew_. Even so, she was just grateful to have him back,"

Rima dipped her head in a curt nod, though her voice was warm.

Shiki spoke up from her lap, bobbing his head, "Kaname is Kaname,"

"Hmm," Ruka agreed, sharing a small smile with Shiki. He was beginning to look much better, even though he was still bruised and every now and again, he panted a little. "Let me read now," Ruka insisted, flapping the book warningly at them all, "Don't interrupt me. I think that this research could be very important,"

Yuuki hummed approvingly, her eyes lingering on the back of the book, absentmindedly fiddling with something in her hands. Rima stroked Shiki's dozing head carefully, but her eyes fell on Yuuki's lap, and the small object held in her dainty hands. It looked somewhat like an ornate vial, like one to hold liquids in, and it glimmered in the light.

She made to question Yuuki, when Shiki squeezed her hand, a flash of his reproachful blue eyes telling her not to speak. He flickered a look at Yuuki again, and closed his eyes, communicating silently to Rima: _It's a source of comfort. Leave her be_.

Rima sighed, but listened to him, only watching curiously as Yuuki played with the small vial in her lap. As it tipped slightly outside the concealment of her hands, she thought she saw a red flash, bright though – not dull like blood. It almost had looked like a flower.

* * *

><p>Takuma shot an anxious look at Aidou's impassive face, tightening the flak jacket across his waist and covering it on top with a thick but lightweight overcoat. He had slashed the sides of the bottom of the coat, so the slits allowed him to have more free movement, and then he adjusted his boots.<p>

"Dress warmly, Aidou," he said quietly, shuffling on his knees over to his pack, "We're going out overnight, so you need to prepare for the cold,"

Aidou grunted, wrenching open his pack and re-checking things inside it. He then pulled it tight and knotted it, throwing Takuma a grim smile.

"The cold keeps you awake," he replied, causing Takuma to frown worriedly. The older blonde stood slowly, and walked over to Aidou's side.

"As does hunger?" he asked warily, staggering back as Aidou's head jerked upright and his shocked expression bore into him.

At first, Takuma had thought that Aidou was just being cautious, rationing his blood pills for their mission in the barracks, because they had no idea how long they were staying. He thought the smaller boy was being clever, thinking ahead. But after the troops took their pills just before they departed from the barracks, in preparation for the times where they'd be on the move and unable to stop to sate their thirsts, he'd noticed that Aidou took none. None at all. He hadn't tried to check Aidou's pockets or pack for the pills, but somehow he knew that if he were to, he'd not find any.

Aidou narrowed his eyes at Ichijou, though not in a joking way at all; there was none of his usual sparkling mischievousness in his eyes. Takuma was stunned to see Aidou truly glaring at him, as if he had been honestly insulted. This wasn't his playful scowl he posed, when Kain or Ruka teased him.

"Got a problem with something?" he said lowly, striding over to collect his own boots.

Takuma shrugged, his pack rustling against the Velcro straps on his flak. "I've noticed that you're not taking your pills," he spoke, digging into his pocket for his small vial of tiny white pills, half-full. "Did you forget them or something?"

The younger boy tugged on his boot laces, throwing Takuma another disgruntled look, "Mind your own business, Ichijou. It's for me to decide when I take those,"

"But I'm worried about you," Takuma insisted, popping the lid on the vial. He tipped out a couple pills. "Here, you need these-"

"No I don't!" Aidou smacked away his outstretched hands, the tiny pills bouncing away into the dirt. He snapped his laces tightly into double knots and then leapt to his feet, grabbing his pack and hefting it on one shoulder. He threw Takuma a panicky look, his wide blue eyes earnestly begging him, "Leave it be, Ichijou. I'm perfectly fine,"

But the Vice-President shook his head slowly, stepping forwards to his younger friend. With the absence of Shiki by his side, Takuma took Aidou as his new 'person to protect' and his instincts were flaring, telling him that Aidou was doing something stupid and dangerous.

He shook another few pills onto his palm, "Look, we won't be able to stop, _at all_ during this mission. You need to keep up your strength-"

"That's exactly what I'm doing!" Aidou exclaimed, squeezing Takuma's hand shut around the pills and pleading him again with his eyes, "I know what I'm doing, so please don't stop me!"

"Aidou-"

"No!" he yelled, shoving Takuma far to the other side of the cavern. The younger boy raised his fists fiercely at Takuma, daring him to move closer.

"Just explain to me _why_!" Takuma countered, folding his arms to his chest to make it clear that he was not going to approach him at all, though his face was screwed up in worry, "I _promised _that…" he paused, shifting slightly as he remembered when they had set off from the castle, and he'd spotted Kain's pained look when he'd seen Aidou stride away from them, "I p-promised myself that I would look out for you,"

"I'm fine!" Aidou insisted, this time pulling an incredibly bright fake smile on his face. He didn't realise that this drew Takuma's eyes to his teeth, where his slightly throbbing fangs were more elongated than they should be.

"Aidou," Takuma pressed, running a hand through his air in exasperation. "Come now…"

The ice-master's smile diminished, and then contorted into such a pitifully frightened and frenzied face, that Takuma momentarily regretted urging Aidou to explain anything. What was he so frightened of?

Aidou shook his head, walking over to a stone ledge and drawing a small slip of paper from his sleeve, and a pen. He pulled off the lid with his teeth and spread the paper out, then he began to write.

"Some parts… of what Rido said at the Hanadagi's… they make sense,"

"_What_?"

"Being hungry…makes you stronger," Aidou scratched his nose with the pen, tilting his head to the side, trying to remember-

"Aidou! That is completely wrong – you know that those pills are what keeps us sane. If you get hungry, it's so much more difficult to concentrate and focus-"

"But the hunger makes you **strong**, Takuma!" Aidou snarled, smacking his own chest with a fist, "I can feel it, burning in here – my hunger. It's like anger. It's like… a _power-_"

"An _uncontrollable_ power – Aidou, it's **dangerous**. You could hurt yourself or others-"

"You don't _**understand**_!" Aidou shrieked, shaking with the force of his rage. It was when Takuma saw that his face was turning red from it that he realised there must really be a big reason for why Aidou wanted to do this.

He watched Aidou's quick fingers wrap up the message in a small roll and tie it closed, going to the entrance of the cave to hand it to an awaiting messenger, "To the castle," he uttered. He returned to him with less anger and more desperation in his expression.

Aidou closed his eyes, "You don't know… During the last War, you _don't understand_ what it's like to fight against Rido!

"**I do**. I had to face him in battle. I had to try to keep him away from Yuuki – but I failed, and… when I remember that time, all I can recall is the crippling state of fear I felt. When you're against someone like Rido, Takuma, there is no hope. His strength is thousands of times greater than ours, and the helplessness you feel when you're being thrown about like some rag doll… I thought I was going to die. I thought he would completely tear me apart. If I could feel even one ounce stronger, it would give me the courage to engage him in battle again, with _some_ measure of confidence.

"Hunger gives me strength, Takuma," Aidou panted, screwing his eyes shut briefly before he opened them again determinedly, "I would take madness of it. I would take danger and lack of control… I will lose myself to my hunger if it will give me the strength to face him! I will not stand frozen in fear on the battlefield!"

* * *

><p>"I've been here before,"<p>

He spoke in only a whisper, which Kaname almost certainly would be able to still hear, but the Pureblood's attention was focused elsewhere. When Zero turned to him, he saw that his face was completely blank, but there was a twitch of his lips which led him to believe that inside, Kaname was shielding his sorrow. His garnet eyes were clouded in memories. They stood at the grave of his beloved. Of course he would be upset. Zero didn't know whether he should console Kaname or nudge him out of his painful reverie.

So he merely squeezed Kaname's hand in silent support. This touch seemed to jostle the Pureblood out of his trance, and he turned back to Zero.

"Stay out h-… Could you stay out here… please?" the Pureblood corrected himself bashfully, eyes darting uncertainly to Zero. He'd stalled a direct order, saving himself only _just_, but Zero had to give him credit for trying not to be so domineering. He nodded.

Kaname released his hand and gave him a small appreciative smile, his eyes saying '_Thank you'_ to him. "Give me about five minutes first. Then you can come in, if you want," his gaze held onto Zero for a few moments longer, flitting once to the forest, and then he released a breath before ducking into the mountain.

And as he slipped into the dark crack in the mountain wall, Zero realised that maybe Kaname had been subtly trying to ask for private time with his dead lover. He watched the last dark wayward strand of Kaname's hair disappear into the darkness, and turned to survey the outside area. He hadn't missed the wisp of worry that flew across Kaname's face at the idea of leaving him out in the open, _alone_, but was glad that Kaname trusted Zero could take care of himself. Or perhaps it was simply his desire to visit his lover which preceded his wish to keep Zero close and safe. _The Bond!_ Suddenly he was reminded of it, and he jerked his head so sharply that his neck cracked, and he turned towards the crack. Wasn't Kaname in pain, leaving the limits of the Bond leash?

Zero made to follow Kaname, to call after him, when he felt something oddly-shaped press under his shoe sole, squelching in the spongy soil. He toed it carefully, and then crouched down to see what it was more carefully. A rock? The place was littered with scree from the mountain's tectonic movements, but this object didn't feel as sturdy or jagged as broken rock, even from the short moment his foot had rested on it. It felt oddly rounded and groaned in protest to his weight.

From his squatted position, he loosened the object from its nest of moist packed soil and wiped away the dirt with his thumbs. As he did so, Zero was suddenly hit with a wave of nostalgia, as his fingers felt around –

_It was cold and smooth, and he felt over it with his dirty hands, feeling small ridges and grooves, and up along the object was a small part that stuck out smoothly _

– the object. This was that object from before – the one he had found as a boy, when he had approached the mountain. Back then, his eyes were so full of frightened tears that he couldn't really see what he was holding at all (there was also a strange feeling he got when he tried to remember what he saw – the memory constantly escaped him), but he could remember how it felt in his hands. It had been heavier then, in his little hands, but now it fit nicely in one palm. As he wiped away the dirt, he uncovered the general shape of the dirt-stained thing.

A duck?

It was a duck.

The unmistakable curved shape of the upwards-pointed tail and the sharp point of a beak told him that this was a small _duck_ he held in his hand. Even though it was filthy, under the grime, he could see that it was painted, and from some edges that had been chipped and worn away, he could see the wood underneath.

A solid wooden duck. How odd.

Zero wiped the duck on some grass, but it didn't clean it very much, so he decided to leave it. He couldn't help but smile at the strangeness of the little thing he had found – the thing that had always accompanied his memory of that day when he got lost and went into the mountain. Always, he briefly recalled stepping on the thing and picking it up and then leaving it at the entrance to the mountain crack, but he'd forgotten what that thing had been.

Now he knew that… it was a duck.

Zero snorted, curling his fingers around the duck, and deciding that enough time had passed that he could enter the mountain now. He was a little apprehensive with interrupting Kaname from his privacy, but… but he also was… worried for him. The Bond. Had Kaname told him how long it was now? No. Zero had to guess how much freedom he had from Kaname's side, and where he might overstep the boundary and cause Kaname pain. All Kaname had said was '_Stay close to me'_ and then he had walked off. To see his dead lover.

Zero paused in the tiny corridor hole in the rocky mountain, sucking in a last breath of fresh air, before he turned and continued down it. It was cold and wet and the floor sloped, just as he remembered it did. Despite feeling dread from having to barge into what may be a precious, private moment of Kaname's; Zero felt the same excitement he had as a young boy, crawling and shimmying through the tight spaces of the crack. This time round, it was much more difficult to get through the spaces – though Zero wondered if the crack might have opened a little larger, due to the tectonic movement. He remembered it already being a tight squeeze when he was little, but he could fit through it now – and he was much bigger than back then. _Kaname_ could fit through the small spaces, and he was slightly bigger than Zero. The crack must have split wider, just like Kaname and Isamu's famous _Crack_ had on the other side, on Fuyu Pass.

He stumbled the last part of the way, blaming the sudden drop in the floor for his clumsiness. Last time he'd cut his knee because of his stumble. This time he was luckier, and only knocked his shins.

Entering the central cavern made Zero's heart race in thrill – the ceiling was just as high as he remembered, with the small slither of light at the top where there was a small crack. In the centre was the platform, where Isamu's rock coffin lay, and as Zero peered through the darkness, he realised – Kaname lay there too.


	72. Try To Recall

**Author's Note:**

**Ahaha! I'm ****so**** gonna use that idea in this chapter, Sonzai-chan! **

**I'm so happy you're all still reading this story. 70 chapters – dear god! How did I write this much? I dunno…My fingers just type, type, type! This story spills out of me in the most freeing way. I hope everyone is enjoying it still. **

**Please, if you have any enquiries or suggestions, just give me a little note or something, and I will try to improve things! Gawd, I sound like the note near the Terms and Conditions now… but I'm serious! If there is something you don't think should happen, or something you think would really put you off this story, **_**tell me**_** about it. I'll do my best to satisfy you. **

**I want everyone to feel satisfied at the end of this – after all, I've made you read for so long! You definitely deserve to feel satisfied by the end of this incredibly long journey!**

**Btw, school term starts tomorrow for me TT_TT so if updates slow down, I'll have to ask you all to be patient. But there will definitely be at LEAST two per week if not more, I will strive to meet that!**

**This chapter is jam-packed full with info, so if anything doesnt make sense, just mention it to me. I totally understand. Even I, who wrote this, became confuddled during writing it.**

* * *

><p>Walking into the cavernous space felt like stepping on eggshells. There was the prickling sensation on his skin, quite like the feeling when your hair stood on end - the guilty sensation when you felt as if you were being an intruder. He guessed that Kaname was aware of his presence, but the Pureblood didn't seem to mind it much, by the fact that he was still lying perfectly still beside Isamu's coffin. Still, he didn't want to disturb Kaname's peace. As he looked around the space, even with the distraction of being semi-blind in the darkness, his nose managed to pick out the faint smell of blood, preserved in the confined space. There was no ventilation to take the smell away, and so it lingered, specifically around the central point where Kaname lay.<p>

As Zero's eyes adjusted to the darkness, he noticed that the air was distinctly clearer than he remembered it being the last time he'd been there – there was only a faint sheen of dust motes floating languidly around the top, near the ceiling where there was less air movement. He looked down, around, up, and was it just his imagination or did the place look _cleaner_? The dirt had been wiped from the rock, and when he ran a finger over the damp rock wall, it came away wet from the trickles of water permeating through the pervious rock, but not slimy with the filthy mix of water and dust. As he approached Kaname, his eyes fell onto Isamu's coffin, and he also marvelled at how good its condition was. The rock coffin melded into the ground – now Zero knew how it had been formed, from the Memories (_Kaname drawing up the edges of the rock like they were cotton sheets and folded them over Isamu's eternally resting form)_ – and every curve and crevice outlining Isamu's face and body was still as sharp as if it had been made only yesterday.

Kaname hummed softly, making Zero pause mid-step. He quickly looked around to see what caught Kaname's attention, and saw nothing. There was only himself.

The Bond. Now that he was in range, Kaname must definitely know he was there.

Zero stepped over to the coffin, staring down in awe at the face of his ancestor. Even under the layer of rock which immortalised his face in cold grey stone, he could see the distinctive similarities he shared with Isamu in the structure of his face. In fact, if he didn't know better, he'd say that he looked _exactly_ like Ichiru sleeping, ergo **_himself_**. This body, _Isamu's _body could easily be mistaken as being some sort of spiritual triplet of theirs – identical to them in appearance, apart from the obvious age difference between them which had naturally graced Isamu's features with more wrinkles and such. Isamu had died middle-aged. Zero could just imagine that this was exactly what he would look like in thirty years or so (if he survived till then).

Peeking over the top of Isamu, he could see Kaname's profile as he lay just on the other side of him. His eyes were shut, and his hands were crossed neatly on his chest, as if he was playing the role of the traditional sleeping Vampire. Zero suddenly felt like was breathing too loudly. Apart from the sound of air shallowly blowing through his throat, rustling over his dry lips, there was no other sound.

Then Kaname opened his eyes, causing Zero to jump, and he lifted himself upright, turning his head towards Zero calmly. His eyes briefly ran up and down to reassure himself that Zero had not been harmed during the few moments they had been separated. He then met Zero's eyes and tilted his head questioningly.

Zero hesitated, feeling inexplicably uncomfortable, where by standing with Isamu and Kaname, he felt he was being intrusive. But then Kaname's mouth twitched upwards – barely a smile, but an flicker of an invitation nonetheless, that he wanted him to speak.

His fingers tightened around the small duck cradled in his palm, and he lifted it slowly, spreading his fingers then to show Kaname his find. Zero forced himself to step forwards and tilted his head similarly to Kaname with a small, quizzical smile on his face too.

"Could… Could _this_ be your Weapon?" he joked lamely, lowering his hand to be more within Kaname's line of sight.

However, upon spotting the object, he saw Kaname's eyes flash, and in the next second he appeared right beside Zero, and he was gently prising his fingers open again – since he'd clenched them in shock. Kaname took the small duck in his own hand, stroking it reverently as his jaw dropped in awe.

"Where did you find this?" he breathed, turning to walk over to the side where he cupped his hand against the wall, collecting the water in his palm. He began to bathe the small duck and scrub away the dirt with his sleeve.

"Outside," Zero replied with a shrug "Just near the entrance to here," he stepped away from Isamu, somehow feeling better just by being further away from his unnerving lookalike, and tilted his head back to look up at the single shaft of light lighting the place. Since it was afternoon, the beam was slanted off to an angle. Zero sucked in a slow, audible breath, letting his shoulders drop as he unknowingly found himself relaxing, "I've been here before," he murmured absentmindedly, rolling his head to the side to observe Kaname, who was still diligently cleaning the duck. The Pureblood merely glanced up at him with a sceptically raised eyebrow, to which Zero nodded seriously. "Yeah, and I found _that_ thing here too, last time I came. Only I forgot what it looked like because, well, it was so long ago... what exactly _is_ it?"

"It's a duck,"

He scoffed, "No shit, Sherlock. But what does it _do_?"

Kaname dried the duck on his shirt and slipped it into his pocket and completely ignored his question, instead choosing to circle the edge of the cave slowly, brushing his fingertips against the wet walls and making the rivulets of water splash. Zero huffed, riled up by this, "So, is the Weapon here then?" he pressed, and found himself even more peeved when Kaname decided to ignore him again and change the subject completely.

"You said you've been here before?" Kaname asked smoothly, striding towards him again. What, did Kaname believe him now? He wondered what had convinced him, but simply rolled his eyes, nodding. As he did so, his eyes landed on something that shone in the dim light briefly. Zero frowned, wandering over to it, where it was placed at the foot of Isamu's coffin. It was -

a compass. _His_ compass. Also clean and pristine as if it hadn't been lying in the cave for years.

Well, this _definitely _proved that he'd been there before.

He grunted affirmatively, waving the small compass at Kaname, "When I was a boy I definitely came here. This is my compass, I remember it - so that proves it,"

"But what could possibly bring you to a place like _this_?" Kaname urged, taking the compass with sincere interest, clicking open the latch. Zero watched him fiddle with it, watching his long fingers slowly turn the small, plastic, tacky thing like it was made of delicate glass. It was a compass _toy_, not of any monetary value - Zero bet that it didn't even work properly. And it was quite obvious how cheap it was - yet Kaname still handled it with due care.

"An _accident_ brought me here," Zero said in an amused tone, taking the compass he was handed back, "I got lost during a family camp holiday, in that forest just outside from here. When I spotted this mountain, I thought it would be clever if I could climb it and see where my family's campsite was. But when I saw this crack, I got distracted – it was just too… _mysterious_ for a boy like me to walk by _without_ investigating it, so I chose to… explore,"

"Too curious for your own good," Kaname mumbled under his breath. Zero chuckled.

"Probably,"

"And you came across _this_, how?" Kaname patted his pocket which held the duck.

"Again, by _accident_," Zero muttered, "I was also quite clumsy as a child, which meant that I stepped on that, by accident. I played with it a bit, but I decided to put it back, near the entrance - after all, I've been taught never to take something that doesn't belong to you. It's just good luck that I was scrawny, on top of everything, and my weight didn't manage to break it,"

Kaname nodded with a tight smile, "Lucky indeed," though his expression looked more troubled than happy.

Zero folded his arms, eyeing Kaname's pocket, "_Now_ will you tell me what that i-"

"Did you actually enter the cave, when you came here as a boy then? Or did you just linger near the entrance?"

He huffed at being interrupted again, but nodded, "_Yes, _I came in here! I just _said_ I was stupidly curious, so what did you expect?"

"How old were you when you came here?" Kaname asked urgently, stepping closer to Zero, who backed off in surprise at his serious tone.

"How old…? Um… I'd say… maybe five? No, actually _four_. Yeah. Four. I think I must have been really young back then. The memories are kinda fuzzy. I remember my parents went crazy-"

"Tell me what happened," Kaname demanded tightly, taking Zero's arm, "Please, tell me what you did in here,"

"Wha- Why?" Zero balked, tugging at his arm. Kaname was gripping it tightly, "Kaname-"

"It's very important to me, Zero. Please,"

Zero frowned at Kaname's persistent vagueness, finding the Pureblood's perseverance to being enigmatic made _him_ feel like being very uncooperative too. He hated it when Kaname did this – keeping things to himself and refusing to explain why he did so. If he did it, why couldn't he do the same? Why shouldn't he withhold information from Kaname?

Because Kaname said it was "important" for him to know whatever he wanted to know, which gave his request credence. Zero couldn't act like a peeved child and be uncooperative just for the sake of "payback", as it were. They had a mission, a mystery to solve, and if what Zero knew could help Kaname, he'd have to do as the Pureblood asked.

It was just... it was so _unfair_.

Zero knew that Kaname was secretive by nature. From what he knew of the Pureblood, he strived to stay mysterious as a type of _defence mechanism, _though he speculated that it was also likely that Kaname was used to doing things solo (like Zero himself). It was so natural to Kaname to keep his cards in his own hands, never letting anyone else see what he knew, so that he could remain in control. (Knowledge is power) But when would Kaname realise that he was going to _have_ to reveal some of his precious secrets to Zero if he wanted to gain anything from him? To Zero, _everything_ was a matter of give _and_ take.

"If I tell you, you have to promise you'll explain to me… _everything _that you're keeping from me," Zero said, letting his arm relax in Kaname's hold.

Kaname sighed, "I will tell you what you need to know,"

Zero snarled, how could he know what Zero needed to know? He began struggling again in his hold, "_Kaname_-"

"_Please, _trust me Zero," he implored, taking his other arm too. He stared at Zero earnestly, and Zero just could not resist that _look_. It was comparable to the one Yuuki used on him when she was begging him to do something, only instead of widening his eyes gradually, Kaname's simply bore into him with such desperation that Zero couldn't refuse him.

He sighed.

"I…I just, you know... came through the tunnel," Zero began, looking to the floor as he delved into his childhood memories. He remembered that day quite clearly, "The… the tunnel was really long and dipped sharply, and I remember stumbling a lot… it was cold and, and difficult to walk… I," Zero scowled in memory, shaking his hand free of Kaname when a ghost touch of pain flared in his knee. He reached down to rub it soothingly. Another bruise, he figured, though it was uncanny how the pain burned hurt exactly in the same place in his memory, "And then I think I cut my knee, on the rock-"

Kaname drew a deep, shuddering breath and released his other hand, backing away from Zero, as though he was afraid of him. "- and - what is it? Kaname?" He fell into the shadows as he heaved shallow, gasping breaths. Zero panicked, seeing the outline of him begin to shake uncontrollably, and then Kaname fell back against the cave wall and slide down it onto the floor.

Zero followed after him, reaching down to help him up, but Kaname just stared up at him wide-eyed, frozen in shock. "Kaname!" Zero called, tugging at one of his arms, but the Pureblood remained sat on the floor, simply looking up at him. Then to Zero's horror, Kaname's head dropped down in his hands, and he refused to move otherwise, even with him tugging at him with all his strength. "_Kaname_-"

"It's _you_," Kaname sobbed. Only then did Zero realise that he was crying, so he dropped to his knees in front of Kaname, placing his hands on his shoulders in what he hoped was comfort. Kaname's hands shot out at that moment, catching him around the neck and drawing him closer. Zero couldn't breathe when he was pulled face-to-face with Kaname and he saw tears leaking down his cheeks. Kaname's thumbs came to rest on his cheeks, and stroked down from his cheekbones to his jaw as he let out another sob, "Oh god… it _is_ _**you**_," he repeated. Then he coiled his arms around Zero, dragging him down onto him and cradling him in his lap. He crushed Zero to himself, wrapping him so tightly in his arms that Zero truly stopped breathing now, as his head was pressed to Kaname's heartbeat, and he could feel Kaname's shuddering breaths whistling through his hair and a couple tears raining onto his neck. He felt Kaname's hand come up to stroke down his spine, making the skin tingle under the thin cloth of his shirt.

His eyes snapped open when Kaname spoke next, in tandem with a phantom kiss brushed against his skin.

"My darling," Kaname whispered into his ear huskily, "My Isamu,"

* * *

><p>"He sure is taking an awful long time," Rima drawled quietly, imitating the twang and burr of a fairly bad reproduction of an American accent. She was trapped with Shiki lying asleep on her lap, and was pitifully <em>bored<em>, and hungry because of this. Ichiru had joined her side after the other two girls decided to crowd round Juri's diary and read it together (Yuuki was invited over by Ruka, surprisingly enough, when her eyes kept falling back to her direction, and she was supposedly distracting to Ruka's concentration). The Hunter was strangely agreeable company to sit with. He didn't pester her with pointless, unwanted questions, even after such a long wait, just to fill in the silence.

In fact, Ichiru kept dozing off periodically, his head lolling forwards to hang above his chest, and then jolting back up into wakefulness when his chin knocked his chest and he realised he'd fallen asleep. Rima had found watching this repetitive routine quite amusing for the first few times, but after a while it grew old. Very, very old. She wanted to believe she was getting tired just watching him, but in actuality she was still wide awake. She _wished_ she could find it in herself to sleep, but with Ruka and Yuuki doing research - when Ruka had been supposedly left "in charge"... well, Ruka wasn't really doing her job, was she? _Someone_ had to stay alert, in her stead.

She ran a hand over Shiki's head again, smoothing his stubborn hair back down. As she did so, she registered the terrible heat still emanating from his forehead. He was now suffering some sort of fever, due to Rido's blood flu still infecting his body.

"Where are our biscuits, eh, Shiki?" she murmured, stroking his sleeping face. A twinge of heat blossomed in her cheeks at what she was doing, how she was acting… "If he's eaten them, I'll punch his ass for you, okay?" She jumped when Ichiru let out a snort, but discovered that the boy was merely making noises as he had fallen asleep again.

Meanwhile, Yuuki was perched on the arm of Ruka's armchair, leaning over into her space as they crowded around the diary. It was annoying for both of them, because they read at different paces. Ruka kept her hand on the bottom of the next page, controlling the speed at which they read, but Yuuki would complain when she went too slowly, or when she wanted her to turn the page faster. Both of them were getting tired of reading, having skimmed through the whole thing before. It was a rather thick book, and Juri wrote in small letters – this diary recorded almost all of her life. They knew that Juri was at least three thousand years old, if not more, but she only wrote down days of particular significance to her – mostly birthdays, family events, things concerning the crown; but she also wrote about menial things, such as the beauty of a beautiful spring day, or how pleased she was with her hair's obedience on one good day (she was famed for her effortless beauty, so it was news to Ruka that she in fact had to battle her wild, curly hair every day into some semblance of the word "beautiful"). The diary spanned from when she must have been quite young to her death – they could see the change in her handwriting was drastic, developing from a bland, large print to a flowing cursive script.

The first half of the diary had been scratched out as irrelevant, by Ruka. Those entries were literally _millennia_ back when nothing interesting happened. Nothing of importance was there. She was sure of it.

Ruka only hoped that whatever information they were hoping to find **had** in fact been documented by Juri. If, by chance, she hadn't been faithful in writing things down in her little diary on the _one_ occasion they really needed her to – then this was all a waste of time.

They flicked through the last few pages, where the entries were much shorter and less detailed, until the very end where the writing hung, unfinished on the page. The very last, incomplete entry had been written on the very day of Juri's death. At the end, she wrote almost every day, desperately scrawling down things she wanted to remember. After the entries dotted around Kaname's abduction and return, Juri's writing had changed completely in tone. The following entries had been written in a stern voice, an almost military report written style of her life in the underground dwelling she hid in. The only softness in her memoirs were of Yuuki – whether it was Yuuki cheering her up in some way, Yuuki acting cutely, Yuuki just being her precious, baby darling… It was almost painful to read, since it was quite obvious to them from her tone that Juri was well aware that she may be running short on time, and so she wrote each entry carefully, expecting each one to be her last.

Ruka groaned when they reached the blank pages at the unfinished book's end. She fell back against the cushions on her armchair and covered her eyes with her arm.

"There's nothing," she groaned, "Absolutely nothing. I can't _believe _we've wasted our time-"

"No, we haven't!" Yuuki insisted, prising the book from her fingers. She opened the book a good half of an inch back and began flicking through them quickly again, "There's something here, there's _got_ to be!"

"I really don't think there _is_ anything," Ruka sighed, "I mean, we've been through it _so many __**freaking**__ times-"_

"Maybe we're looking for the wrong thing!"

"We don't know _what_ we're looking for. A Weapon? Would she really write about it so openly in here? The more I think about it, the more unlikely it seems. It might not even _be_ there,"

Yuuki shook her head, pinching her lips together in frustration at Ruka's dulled determination. Ruka was an incredibly stubborn girl, who almost always met her goals, working right to the end of her limit to complete them, if need be. There was no doubt in Yuuki's mind that Ruka hadn't really given up. She was just feeling fed up and tired, but she hadn't given up yet. The small repetitive flicker of her eyes over to the book in Yuuki's hands told her that _she hadn't given up yet_.

So neither would she.

Yuuki's eyes were unwavering on the pages, barely blinking lest she miss something.

And then she spotted it.

She quickly backtracked when her fingers let some pages spill by, flicking back to that… that _page_.

There was a smudge on that page.

All the other pages were perfect, absolutely flawlessly written – not a scratch-out to rule out mistakes. There _were _no mistakes.

But on that page, a word was smudged out. A tiny fingerprint remained printed in the smear of ink. Yuuki placed her finger beside it.

Still, as her eyes fell on that smudge, she remembered exactly the same memory she'd recalled upon first seeing Ruka with the book –

_Yuuki whined, reaching out towards the book. __**Her fingers brushed against one of the words, smudging the letter**__. The woman giggled, tugging Yuuki more firmly against her._

_"No Yuuki-chan, Mama's doing something right now. Rest, baby," _

– "Oh my god!" she squeaked, immediately stirring Ruka from her daydream.

"What? What have you found?" Ruka's head almost knocked into Yuuki's as she tried to see what she did. Yuuki pointed at the smudge, which Ruka stared at for a few moments. "… I don't get it,"

"This day," Yuuki's finger moved towards the date, "I was there on this very day, sat on her lap as she wrote this! I can remember it… I…" she frowned.

"You remember?" Ruka exclaimed, gasping, "What is it? What do you re-"

"I remember her face," Yuuki said softly, her gaze turning nostalgic and hazy, "…I remember looking up at her face and seeing that she looked… unhappy,"

"Unhappy?" Ruka repeated encouragingly, simultaneously reading the rest of the entry.

…_**it's hard to let her out of my sight now. She's so energetic, that I'm really afraid keeping her like this will affect her health. My little Yuuki, how I wish she was free. If she lost her spirit, I would lose my strength. I am sure of it. Haru is a ghost in his home, since he is often away with Kaname. My son – I barely see him anymore. Haru is training him. He says that his son needs to be strong and ready…**_

"…no," Yuuki shook her head slightly, Ruka glanced at her, seeing her large eyes fill with tears, "I think that… she was afraid,"

…_**the days when I used to feel safe have returned to me – but with the cost of **_**uncertainty**_**. Can I ever truly believe we are completely safe? Haru has been telling me that we are completely hidden now. No one lives who knows where we are.**__** As he has told me this, the fear in me has begun to be extinguished, and new hope has been born. Life has been good recently, and I feel so peaceful. There is hope now, that we can live without fear. **_**He**_** won't know where we are either, because we moved not so long ago. For the first time in a long time, I don't need to carry **_**it**_** with me wherever I go. I've begun leaving it on the bedside table, in the mornings. I don't need to carry it with me during the day.**_

_**The fear is slowly dwindling inside me, but at the same time, it is replaced by a new fear – a fear of **_**forgetting**_** fear. Should I be so quick, so confident to relinquish my fear? What if my judgement is false, biased by the hope that I can live freely? Dare I dream of living life in false security? Can I risk being the fool?...**_

"What was it which made her afraid?" Ruka mumbled, though her eyes remained on the text. She already knew that Juri was beginning to let go of her fear, since at that the time she began to feel so peaceful and thought they were safe. Just like in a horror movie, she wished Juri had _not_ been a fool, and **remained** fearful. Paranoia was the loss of control over your fear - and from Juri's words, she was tired of feeling controlled by her fear. She already could tell that Juri unfortunately had made the fatal mistake of letting her guard down.

But could she blame her? All Juri dreamed of was letting herself and her family (_Yuuki)_ live their lives properly, without fear. All she wanted was to let go, and live freely.

But sometimes, fear protected you by keeping you vigilant – alert to danger.

"I… I'm not sure," Yuuki sighed, chewing her lip, "I mean… my memories are so vague. At that time I was only little so I didn't... I couldn't understand things, you know? All I knew was that she was scared. As far as I remember, she… she took me to go for a snack, after writing this. She said we were going to make cake…"

…_**Yuuki needs to live without being around someone who is constantly worrying, as I do. Fear is infectious. She needs to see her Mama happy, or soon she will stop being happy too. Ignorance is bliss, is it not? If she must remain ignorant to remain happy, I will gratefully bottle up my worries and throw them far away. She will never know of this. I'll get rid of **_**it**_** today…**_

It.

Could "it" be... the Weapon?

"…but when we went to the kitchen," Yuuki paused, licking her lips and narrowing her eyes thoughtfully, "I think that I remember her placing me on the counter and telling me to wait for the ovens to heat up. She said she was going off to get things from the pantry, but I remember… I remember her heading somewhere else, and thinking it strange,"

…_**but sometimes I dream of keeping it with me, always. It has been a solid comfort for such a long time, to have it by my side. I remember when it used to be the only thing that kept me sane, and I only felt safe with it with me - I would not sleep without it in under my pillow. The nightmares are coming back. My life is a complete paradox - during the day I feel this, perhaps false sense of safety, but at night I am plagued by the terrors of the past, and **_**him_ and..._**_** It's a reminder of a horrible past, but also the promise of **_**vengeance**_** that I have had yet to deliver to **_**him**_**. It makes me feel stronger, but it also keeps me frightened – and Yuuki can sense that. I'll have to hide it away…**_

"Did she… did she leave you for long?" her eyes scanned the phrase again – **_I'll have to hide it away_** – hide the Weapon? Ruka almost giggled in triumph – she was certain now, for sure – Juri must have had a Weapon. The '**him'** she talked about must be Rido. Somehow, some time ago, Juri must have created a Weapon to kill him, but now she wrote that… she had chosen to hide it.

"…hmm, I think so. I remember crying for her after a while, because I got scared of being alone," Yuuki blushed, "She rarely left me alone as a child. When she came back…" her eyes widened and unfocused again as she struggled to recall her scattered memories, "… she looked better," she stated, sucking on her lip, "But at the same time, she still looked scared. She scooped me up and told me we'd be alright, and then…"

…_**bury the memories. Live in the present. I must move on and forget. Even Haru doesn't know that I still kept it with me after all these years. My sleeve feels empty without it there. I feel exposed - but I cannot be dependent on it any longer, because it burdens me with the memories. I think this was a good decision. I really hope that I made the right choice…**_

"And then?" Ruka pressed, scanning the last few words of the entry, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Yuuki's eyes cleared, and she released the book, reaching with that hand into her sleeve, where she pulled out… some sort of decorative ornament, which she traced lovingly with her fingers.

She shrugged delicately.

"And then we made cake,"

* * *

><p>"What are you talking about?"<p>

Zero shoved against Kaname's chest, but he was trapped by his strong arms wrapped all over him, and their legs tangled together. His heart was racing. _Isamu_. _My darling…my Isamu._

"No, no, _**no!**_ I'm _**not**_ him_!" _he screamed, clawing desperately at the Pureblood to get some space between them. But Kaname kept them pressed tightly together, and eventually Zero sagged against him, his weak body exhausting much faster than he would have liked. There was no way he could release himself from his hold. He was too weak. Zero still threw one last punch at Kaname, who barely flinched. "What are you talking about, Kaname?" he yelled loudly into his ear, hoping to hurt him enough to _let him go_.

But Kaname still remained steadfastly wrapped around him, and he gasped as another kiss was pressed to his temple, feeling the skin burn and tingle where his lips touched.

"You were there," Kaname murmured warmly, nuzzling against him, "On that day that you entered this cave, when you cut your knee,"

"Of course I was! So what? What do you mean - no - what are you _saying?"_ Zero squirmed, feeling his face heat up like a furnace, and when Kaname began _sniffing _him, he shoved him again, "_Stop_ that!"

"You Woke me, my love. Your blood Woke me-"

"No it didn't!" Zero snapped, "I don't remember seeing you at _all_. And anyway, you told us that _Rido_ Woke you, that's why he's your Master,"

"Ah, that's correct," Kaname paused thoughtfully for a few moments, to Zero's great distress, he was still breathing his scent in deeply, "Well, you must have _roused_ my Slumber, nonetheless. I _definitely _could not have Slept on peacefully with the smell of your blood in the air,"

"Kaname, _you. Weren't. There_!" Zero said slowly, trying to control his face as it kept heating up further and further. Soon he was sure he could fry an egg on his face, it was so hot. "I know what I saw – and this cave was empty, apart from him," he jerked his head towards Isamu. "I would remember if I saw you there!"

"Are you sure?"

"Hell yes I'm sure!"

"I was sleeping there too," Kaname motioned to Isamu again, "You know I was. I laid down right there, by _your_ side to Sleep, when I laid you to rest. I hadn't moved ever since the day I laid there. You must have seen me. Think back on it,"

Zero flinched. Immediately he tried running through the Memories he'd seen in the Rose Shield, recalling that yes – after Isamu's coffin had been created, Kaname laid beside him in his grief, and he seemed to fall into a deep sleep. He must have gone into hibernation then, similar to the Hanadagi's.

He then ran through what he remembered of his own childhood memories, when he was little, and screwed up his face, thinking through them. He certainly remembered seeing Isamu, thinking that he was just a very life-like statue of a man (not a fucking _coffin_). And then, beside it, another 'statue'… Zero gasped. Yes. He remembered it.

_Zero circled the platform to find another statue on the other side! It was a different one, not raised on a box like the first one, but flat on the floor. _

"I… I thought that was a statue. That was _you_?"

Kaname pulled away from Zero a little, and even in the darkness he could pick out his smirk. "Yes. Covered in dirt, most likely. In retrospect... you probably couldn't have recognised me as being a person. Maybe I _did _look like a statue, but that was me,"

Zero's mouth opened in shock. Kaname had been there, right when he was a child. He had been lying right in the very cave they were in, asleep all those years ago, covered in thick dust and grime, gathered over the millennia, which painted him to look just like a statue. His eyes fell to the side as he fell deeper into thought (and as he tried to distract himself from the fact that _Kaname was holding him so close - why oh why did he think this was _okay_?) _The cave was _definitely _cleaner. No dust. Even on his spot on top of Kaname, he could see that the floor was clean, the rock was all free of dust. Kaname was confident that Rido didn't know about this place, which suggested that Kaname was still familiar with it. Was Kaname the one who had cleaned it? If that was so –

"How often do you come here?" Zero asked, turning back to Kaname.

He blinked, shrugging, "Once a year, but not on the same day,"

Once a year. Kaname came every year to Isamu's grave. Zero bit his lip.

Kaname spotted this, and Zero was transfixed as he watched Kaname bite his own lip in a sensuous imitation of his own action.

"Every year," Kaname nodded, reaching up to brush Zero's bangs out of his eyes, "I know it's not really enough - I've always been waiting. But I've also had to be discreet, otherwise the others would notice my visits and they would begin to question-"

"Not enough? _Not enough?"_ Zero squawked. Kaname's half-lidded eyes shot open at this, and he looked amazingly flustered.

"I'm sorry!" he said quickly in panic, bowing his head. He had totally misunderstood Zero's indignation, "I wanted to come more frequently, but... I've never left you, _**never**_. Never more than a year. I _always_ came back-"

"That's not what I'm saying," Zero blurted, shaking his head vigorously, "I meant – you're a total idiot, you know that? Why on earth did you keep coming year after year? Isamu's dead!"

Kaname tilted his head in confusion, "Why did I…" then his expression cleared and he smiled easily, sending shivers down Zero's spine at its suddenness, "_Darling_," he purred slightly, "Must I really explain that?"

"Please do," Zero growled.

And then Kaname's lips pressed against his jaw, and Zero yelped as though a vat of boiling oil had been spilt onto him. That heat was definitely present, though it burned on his jaw, where the touch of Kaname's warm lips scorched him to the bone.

Kaname didn't appear to notice this though, too lost in his own hallucination he seemed to be caught in, where he saw Zero being Isamu. His lover.

"Kaname, stop it!" Zero screeched, punching him as much as he could, all over, to get his attention. "_I don't __**understand**_. You promised you would tell me everything!"

The Pureblood heaved a sigh, as though he was exasperated. Zero was befuddled. Why on earth did Kaname think he _understood_ an inch of what had just happened? **Nothing** made sense! He hadn't expected anything like _this_ to happen after telling Kaname about his silly childhood adventure. Why had Kaname gone completely mental after hearing about him cutting his knee? Why did he think he was Isamu?

"I think I should explain things from the start," he muttered, causing Zero to scowl and whack him again, "Very well. Do you understand how a Vampire hibernates?"

"No,"

"Only Pureblood Vampires can hibernate. We fall into a deep sleep, so deep in fact that our heart rates and breathing slow down. _My_ body functions slowed _right down_ till I was incredibly close to having my body completely shut down, because I hibernated for so long – over ten thousand years," he smiled grimly, seeing Zero's eyes widen, "The closer I got to death, the closer I got to you - that was my belif," he sighed, bowing his head, "I wanted to Sleep forever. But on that day when you entered this cave, you didn't Awaken me, but you _did_ manage to rouse me with your blood scent. I remember smelling it and thinking that I was dreaming – how could you be alive again to bleed? I even thought for a moment that I must have succeeded - I must be dead. From that day, my heart began to beat faster because I knew that somehow you were _there, _and now with me Asleep and you awake somewhere, I desperately wanted to Wake to meet you again. I fought against my comatose body, fighting to get back to life, because somehow _you were back._ Even my Slumbering body recognised you," Kaname panted, drawing Zero to himself again.

In Kaname's arms, Zero was frozen in shock, as he clearly remembered, when he was a boy…

He remembered hearing what he thought had been a drum beat.

_Boom! Boom!_

Which was in fact: Kaname's heartbeat…?

Everything Kaname said made sense now, and Zero couldn't help but face the truth. The presence of his blood scent in the air had roused the sleeping Kaname the Ancestor on that fateful day. On that day – no, _from _that day his slowed heart beat began to speed up, lusting a return to the living where he thought Isamu was. After that it must have been that –

"So…after I roused your Sleep, it was then _Rido_ who finished Waking you?"

"Yes, and that was incredibly unfortunate. However," Kaname said, pulling their bodies even more together. "I've been waiting for so long. I knew it. I knew we'd be together again-"

Suddenly Zero remembered that Kaname thought he was – was his _lover_! He yelped, pushing against Kaname urgently. "No! I'm not Isamu, you know I'm not-"

"Don't say that,"

Zero stopped his struggling when he heard Kaname's voice, low and deadly. He was pulled away to face Kaname again, though this time Kaname looked rather upset. "Don't say that," he repeated, frowning, "It is you. It must be you. Otherwise I would not have Woken at all. It was your blood scent which brought me back,"

Zero shook his head. He was sure that "Any blood-"_ could have Woken you -_

"It was _**your**_** blood**," Kaname roared, tightening his hands so Zero flinched. Immediately his grip loosened, but he still looked incensed, "Isamu, I would recognise your blood anywhere. Don't mock me for what I have done – I can recall its scent even after all these years. No other blood could Wake me but yours,"

"But I am **Zero**! Kiryuu Zero," he practically screamed, "I'm Isamu's descendent – surely that only means our bloods are similar. That doesn't mean I _**am**_ him though! I cannot be him. I know who I am,"

"Your bloods are the **same**," Kaname insisted, shaking his head resolutely, "I know it may sound strange, but when you were bleeding after Shiki's attack, all I kept remembering was that day long ago where your blood scent filtered into my sleeping mind. It sang to me, it called me back into Waking - I will never forget it. No two bloods can ever be exactly the same, as yours are, so you must be-"

"Kaname, please!" Zero gasped, trying to free himself, "Please, you're hurting me, _let me g-_"

He was instantly released, and staggered backwards onto his feet, panting heavily – almost hyperventilating in complete and utter shock. He desperately needed the space to think, to try to absorb all he'd been told. Zero's mind kept flying back to when he'd been trapped by Rido in Shiki's body, and Rido kept calling him "Isamu". But he _wasn't_ Isamu, he was Zero. Why did they think he was Isamu? Recently, these flashbacks to Isamu's life - they were only being induced by Kaname's touch, right? Surely it was only the Memories he'd seen being so similar to things happening at the present which drew them out as flashbacks.

Zero tried to ignore the fact that every one of these flashbacks were, for him, all in first-person perspective - as if **he **was Isamu. That didn't mean anything, right? It was probably just a coincidence.

Kaname slid himself back up on his feet too, and walked around Zero to Isamu's coffin, where he bent down to touch it reverently. His dark eyes flitted back up to Zero's and a warm, but sheepish smile spread his lips. "I'm sorry for frightening you. This must all be a great shock of news to you. You need time to adjust. After all… you can't remember much, can you?"

"Remember what – Isamu's life?" Zero snarled, folding his arms around himself, "Hardly. And that's because _I'm not him_," he followed Kaname though, to stand on the other side of the coffin.

"You were _reborn_, my love," Kaname explained slowly, leaning forwards towards him, though he tactfully remained on his side, letting the coffin act as a barrier. "This will be very difficult for you..."

Zero snorted loudly, "I don't believe you. There's no such thing as reincarnation,"

"I thought your resemblance, your similarities were too uncanny to be a mere coincidence," Kaname breathed, seemingly falling back into his habit of ignoring Zero's comments as easily as if they hadn't been said.

"_Listen to me_!" Zero barked, losing his temper again when Kaname stared at him with… with an emotion Zero wasn't comfortable seeing in his eyes - one that made his cheeks burn angry red again, "I'm not him! You're just making this all up-"

"In the Memories you were shown, do you remember what I did just before burying yo-" he corrected himself with an indulgent twist of his lips, "Burying _Isamu_?"

Zero sighed, becoming ever more fed up of having to trawl through the mess of jumbled Memories and his own thoughts to unearth all the broken parts of these puzzles Kaname laid out for him. However, he decided that the need to _understand_ overcame his overbearing tiredness. Zero ran a hand through his hair, shutting his eyes as he tried to recall…

Kaname had gone completely mad, just before he buried Isamu, hadn't he? As far as Zero could remember, he'd almost resembled _Katsuo_ in the way that he… he tore his wrist open and "fed" it to his dead lover, still not believing that he was dead –

_He clawed his wrist open, watching the blood spurt blankly. It gushed onto Isamu's face, but his mouth wouldn't open to drink from him. He tried to coax Isamu's jaw open, but it was rigid. Kaname impassively bit his other wrist, tearing it open too._

_"Drink, Isamu," he urged, watching the blood pool in the hollow of his throat. _

He nodded slowly, "You went crazy, spilling your blood on him," he gestured to Isamu.

Kaname's smile became so bright that Zero tried to fight down a blush at how _stunning_ he looked. "I'd like to believe… no, I'm pretty _sure_ that my blood managed to preserve you when I did that,"

Zero's eyes widened, and he looked down at Isamu's grave. "What, you mean if we crack this open, Isamu won't be all dust and bones? He'll still be alive?"

"No, no," Kaname laughed, finally losing control of his urges as he reached over to take Zero's hands, tugging them from his folded arms to hang loosely, their fingers interlaced, "If you know anything about how Katsuo acted after Lady's death, from those Memories you received, you would know it was pretty much the same as I acted – he went completely insane and thought that if he gave her his blood, it would revive her. He spilt almost all his blood on her corpse and his immortal blood managed to preserve her," he spoke joyfully, "Therefore, I'm quite certain my blood managed to preserve a part of you. Your _soul_, at least, or maybe my blood managed to give you a second life, and you were reborn," he laughed, "I _don't care_ how you have been remade in this life, my love. But what does it matter? All that matters is that you _are_ here, you're back with me,"

Zero shook his head slowly, closing his eyes as he struggled not to lose his temper again, though right now he felt more sick and light-headed than raging with anger. It seemed that, no matter what he said, no matter how many times he tried to reject Kaname's claim, Kaname refused to believe him when he insisted he wasn't Isamu.

"I'm not _him_," he bleated weakly, his voice sounding like a broken record even to his ears.

He heard Kaname sigh quietly, and then felt a small gust of wind as he appeared by his side instantly. Before he could open his eyes he felt himself being wrapped again in Kaname's arms, the Purebloods long warm arms coiling around him tightly. Despite being angry and fed up with Kaname's stubbornness (which matched his own), the solid warmth of Kaname's body was so comforting that he collapsed onto him, shuddering with exhaustion and confusion. Too much… _too much, I can't take this_…

"You're in denial,"

_No, no I'm not_! Zero wanted to exclaim, but he only found himself unable to speak, so he groaned in protest into Kaname's chest, his energy utterly sapped.

"That's alright," Kaname said lightly, rubbing Zero's back in comforting circles as he spoke. Zero's tense body relaxed further at the massage, and he tightened his grip on Kaname's shirt – no way. He couldn't fall _asleep_! "That's alright, my love. In time you will remember. You need time to accept. Hopefully you'll remember us. If you don't, that doesn't matter... It doesn't matter at all. We can do this all again... I can... I hope you will fall for me again… This is yours,"

"Kana-" Zero's eyelids fluttered and his brows furrowed when he felt something being placed on his head, it being slightly cold as it combed his scalp, and a plume of Kaname's blood scent washing over him.

"_Sleep_," was the last thing he heard, before he slipped into an effortless sleep.


	73. What Love Is

**Author's note: **

**Kk, now it's obvious that this is going to become soooort of a reincarnation-fic, I have to point out some things so that those of you who **_**hate**_** reincarnation-fics will consider continuing with mine. **

**IMO, my interpretation of "reincarnation" in this fic is slightly… **_**funkydunk**_** (in my own words... which are made up XD)****. As in, it won't simply mean that Zero is Isamu – oooooh no. I am **_**not**_** ever gonna write things the ****simple**** way (if you haven't noticed so far). There is a twist, which I think you might enjoy reading, so I'll encourage you to give this fic a chance. Anyway, you've read over 70 chapters, over 250,000 words already (geeez), so what's a little more? XD**

**I want to clarify this too, because I know that some of you may be panicking over it – Zero, our beloved Hunter, will ****always**** be Zero. There is no mix between him and Isamu. He will not be thrown aside for an OC. Hell to the no. I do not do that because I **_**have **_**read stuff like that before, and it doesn't…appeal to me. For me – a "real" character is untouchable – you **_**do not mess**_** with a "real" character. Isamu, my somewhat-OC, takes the back-seat. K? Don't worry about Zero. Sure, I'm gonna put him through some shit, but that's what we all love, don't we? A little angst, a sprinkle of drama and heartache…hmm. Yeah. Don't worry about him.**

**Aaaalso, one faithful reader has pointed out a rather intriguing question:**

"**If Zero is Isamu's reincarnation, doesn't that mean Ichiru is too? Because in VK they share the same soul."**

**My answer to that is thus: Yes, I agree that in VK they ****are**** meant to be two sides of the same soul, but in ****MY**** version, things are **_**different**_**. In my story, Ichiru and Zero are born to be completely different and separate – their souls, their lives, themselves… I support the idea that twins, whether fraternal or identical, are two individual people. It's something that has always slightly irritated me about VK – the fact that the Kiryuu twins were written to be so co-dependent – I mean, I think they deserve their own lives, right? So, to answer that conundrum: no. Ichiru isn't Isamu's reincarnation. He's just Zero's brother – **

**This is getting confusing guys… look. I'll explain things in time. I hope some queries were cleared up in the meantime though. BTW, in this chappie you might see the Nobles acting like total gits to their subordinates, but well… they pretty much are? You've seen them in the manga/anime. Our beloved Nobles may be good and all that, but they sure can be snobby gits, amirite? XD**

**Keep reading, my lovelies! **

* * *

><p><em><strong>"One who has loved truly can never lose entirely" ~ Napoleon Hill<strong>_

* * *

><p>Kain eyed the tall tower of things warily, since it was literally <em>towering <em>over him, and it was all balanced onto one tray. On the bottom, strategically hidden by the majority of the rest of the food, was Rima's tin of (half-eaten) biscuits. On top of that was a box of white brownies, as some sort of a pardon for the biscuits. Then there was the fruit, a _lot_ of fruit in boxes so they wouldn't spill out of bowls. On the side were a couple of sandwiches he'd snagged for himself.

Looking up at the impressive round-up, he nodded. Hopefully that would be enough.

He waddled down the corridor, peeking around the tower of food every few steps, so he wouldn't trip on a rug, or paving stone, or step. It was definitely going to take some time for him to reach the room again.

And then he heard it, concealed somewhere in front of him as he paused for a breather.

"A-Ano…"

He slowly turned himself to the side, careful not to trip on his own feet, and peered down at the maid and servant, both stood bashfully with their eyes darting around timidly. He spotted a small scroll note held in the maid's neat hand and recognised it as being a military note. Messages from the barracks often came in rolled scrolls – it was simply protocol.

"Kain-sama, we weren't sure, but… was it you who Kuran-sama left in charge?" the young boy asked with his voice squeaking meekly at the end. He was taking the role of speaking for them both, though he was twiddling his thumbs madly in anxiety.

"I am," Kain nodded, then he nodded towards the tray, "Can you take this for me?"

The boy quickly took the tray, and Kain grimaced as he saw his legs bend under the weight of it, but he turned to the maid. "Is that for me?" he pointed to the letter. She nodded, blushing as she handed it to him.

"It's addressed to Kuran-sama, but w-we thought it should go to his next-in-charge, since he isn't here…" she trailed off uncertainly, fiddling with the pleats in her skirt.

"Yes, it's good you did so," Kain smiled distractedly as he untied the string, carefully unrolling the scroll. He recognised the handwriting immediately and his heart skipped a beat (after it did, he scratched his cheek, wondering _why_…?). Aidou.

Kain continued to undo the scroll, skimming through it with a frown. What was it… a list of names? _Shindou Goro, Yamato Koji, Gosei Yoh…_ who were these people? Kain pinched one end of the scroll stick and let the other one fall loose, staring down as it unrolled right down to his knees. His jaw dropped too, in horror – did he have to review all these names? What were they for, a register? What on earth –

And then he saw a smaller, much shorter slip of paper fall onto the floor, from where it must have been tucked in the bottom of the scroll. He squatted to pick it up, and quickly smoothed it out – again it was written by Aidou, though this time his handwriting was sloppy and crooked, the ink smudged in places. This somehow caught Kain by surprise. Aidou was absolutely meticulous with his penmanship – sure, he was on a mission in some barracks, but knowing him he'd usually at least _try_ to be even a little bit neat. Had Kain not known Aidou so well, he'd have thought this was written by someone else completely. Even the way the note was written – hastily, with ellipses of missing words from the tone of urgency – was _so_ un-Aidou-ish. Kain could feel the deep indents of the lettering on the other side of the paper, which demonstrated how hard Aidou had pressed into his writing, as if he was conveying his anger through his pen.

Aidou was angry…or upset. Kain shifted uncomfortably. There was this rising urge to go back to the parlour to check on Ruka, because she was at least _one_ of the Two (of his precious people) who he had to protect. He wanted someone to comfort. Someone to console. Right now, he could picture Aidou being somewhere far away, angry and alone. Aidou wasn't good with venting his anger, or dealing with sadness. That was… That was what _he_ was for. _He_ was the one who sparred with Aidou to release his pent up rage – the one who threw a surfeit of jokes and pranks to gain a smile on his saddened face.

He… H-He was the one who scooped Aidou up, when there was nothing else that could cheer him up, and wrapped him in his arms. Aidou was so… so _small_ and… and…

It hurt.

Kain shook himself from his musings. Aidou was a big boy now. It felt silly to have to repeat this in his head a few times, but it calmed him down a bit. His overprotective nature was instinctive now – regarding Aidou. Somehow Kain knew that he could not live without worrying about Aidou, especially when he was away from him.

He cleared his throat, and then focused on reading the note.

As he read it, his eyes narrowed. _What the – __**no way**__…_ he read it again. And this time his jaw clenched in horror, as did his fingers – curling in fists which ripped the note apart when the delicate paper crumpled.

Kain turned towards the maid again, "If you'd be so kind, could you help him take that to the parlour? It's the one right at the very West end of the castle," he smiled charmingly, and the girl flushed as she bowed, hurrying to take the other side of the tray and begin the long walk to the parlour.

Kain then strode in the opposite direction, to his rooms, at a sprint. He couldn't believe... Why the fuck –

He growled in rage. _Aidou._

Behind him, the pieces of the message floated on the breeze in his wake. Together they read:

_Kaname-sama,_

_Mission received. We're sending around 50. The list names them. Rido's still at H's Castle. We'll keep him till first light tomorrow._

_It will not be a suicide mission. Ichijou and I are going with them. I promise you – with all my strength. We will return._

_Aidou_

Only a few selected words spun restlessly around his head, lifted from the text and terrorising his mind: "_Rido…__**suicide**__ mission… with all my __**strength.**_"

"Oh Aidou…" he panted, slamming their bedroom door open and hurrying to his wardrobe to pack some essentials. "What have you done?" he muttered. For Kain, it was already stressful, being apart from someone he was fixed to. Knowing that Aidou was out at the barracks, planning and organising troops was alright – at least he was staying mostly in the mission room, ordering the others around. At least he was safe.

But now that he knew Aidou was going _with_ the troops on this mysterious mission (which Kain knew absolutely _nothing_ about… ) his heart was simply pounding in fear at the thought of it. The mission involved Rido. They were going to the Hanadagi castle (which only held the memory of pain and fear to Kain, he could only remember the scent of scorched flesh and Aidou. Aidou's piercing screams–).

On top of this, Kain was reminded by the trigger word "strength" exactly what Aidou was doing to gain his "strength". He cursed loudly. _Stupid Aidou, stupid, __**stupid**__ Aidou!_ Didn't he know that by not taking his blood pills, eventually he'd just get weaker? Aidou was a genius, but he sure was dumb. The first effects of blood starvation did tend to be amplified aggression, increased _strength_ and a numbness to pain (mostly because you were already in considerable pain, and getting used to it). But like the after-effects of an adrenaline rush – which was essentially what you received from blood starvation – eventually these strengths would run out and leave you feeling drained, weaker than you were at first.

Wasn't Aidou meant to know these things? He experimented on blood pills enough to know them inside out. So why was he… _why was he doing this_? Perhaps he was relying on the initial kick he would get from being starved to help him fight. But you could never predict when the kick would come and how long you were going to remain pumped up for – how long you would last before your strength began to fade.

What if Aidou's strength ran out on the battlefield? What if he became too weak to defend himself? He could be hurt. He could be _killed_.

"God, Hana!" Kain snarled, yanking his bag closed. He stepped into some boots and then slung the bag over his shoulders. Then he left, through the window, muttering darkly under his breath, "The things you make me do…"

* * *

><p>Shiki was just beginning to stir awake when the door opened and there were two startled cries as a tower of boxes fell to the floor. Rima had leapt up at the commotion, slipping under Shiki to get to the door, where she glowered down at the sheepish servants. They gathered the food back onto the tray and carried it back to the table, where the now-awake Ichiru also whistled lowly.<p>

"Geez, that's a mountain," he remarked, smiling at the servants who quickly bowed and left. He leant over to grab a box of fruit, digging under the pile like it was Jenga to retrieve the biscuit tin for Shiki too. Since Shiki was still slightly out-of-it, Ichiru kindly opened the tin for him and whistled again, "Dang,"

"What?" Rima flashed over to them, peering down at the half-empty box. She swore loudly, glaring up at the closed door, "Is _that_ why those two looked so nervous and were so quick to leave?"

"I'm sure it was because you scared them half to death when they came in," Ichiru grinned, causing Rima's anger to dissipate slightly.

"Oh no, that looked like _guilt_ to me,"

"I saw no crumbs…" Shiki mumbled blearily, reaching for a biscuit, "…on their lips,"

Rima shook her head, resolute in the fact that the servants must have been the culprits – the guilty ones who depleted her stash of biscuits. She mournfully snapped one in half and popped it in her mouth, crunching down on it noisily. She'd have to ration it now.

"Strange,"

She turned to Ruka, who was holding a grape.

"I thought Kain said he'd bring the stuff up here," she explained, peeling the skin. Yuuki stared at her as she did this. Seriously, who peeled the skin off a grape? Ruka tossed the juicy mess into her mouth, smacking her lips and narrowing her eyes, "I bet that bastard got lazy,"

"Did any of us order sandwiches?" Yuuki asked, pointing at the pile of sloppily made ham sandwiches, picking at the bread. She curled her lip, "God, how much _butter_…"

"That's got to be Kain's," Ruka replied dully, eyeing the bread with what could only be called contempt, "Only _he_ can make such a mess out of sandwiches,"

"Where _is_ Kain?" Shiki groaned, pulling himself into a sitting position. He received a biscuit in his mouth from Rima.

"He went to get us this food, but… hmm, maybe…nature called?" Ichiru shrugged. Rima rolled her eyes, cramming another biscuit in her mouth and striding over to the door. She popped her head out into the corridor and yelled at the still retreating servants to, "_Get back here_!" which they did, immediately.

She dragged them into the room and held her hands on her hips.

"Did you see Kain?" she asked bluntly, directed at the boy. He nodded quickly. "And where is he now?"

"We don't know, miss," the maid said, diverting her attention smoothly, "He gave us the tray and orders to bring it up here. He went the other way,"

"Did he say where he was going?"

"No, miss,"

Ruka snorted, throwing a piece of watermelon rind to the side, "He's probably taking a dump,"

"Ruka!" Rima chided, shooing the servants out of the room, "Since when did you stop acting like a lady?"

"Since my two gentlemen friends aren't here, why should I be a lady?" she drawled, grabbing another box of fruit and chucking one at Ichiru's head. She threw an unpeeled grape into her throat, folding her arms, "I'm _fed up_. I don't want to admit it, but I miss being with those two. Katsuki's not the same without Hana,"

"How so?"

"He's stupider," she said frankly, "Much, much more reckless, which wasn't really something I expected. He's the one who keeps Hana grounded, you know? He's the more sensible one of the two. I never thought he'd bust a fuse when that idiot was gone, but he's really losing it without him,"

"They're close," Yuuki observed, finding Ruka nod grimly. And then Ruka's grim expression became contemplative, and she dropped the strawberry she was holding back into the box, sitting up. Her mouth opened, and then she shut it, shaking her head, as if she was trying to deny something. Rima brushed some crumbs off Shiki's face and wandered over to the other girl, silently questioning her behaviour.

Ruka shook her head again, shrugging, "What are the chances… that this has something to do with _that_?"

"With what?"

"_Them_," she stressed, groaning as she seemed to become more engaged in her thoughts, "Kain's been pining for Hana for ages now, maybe… maybe he's gone to see him,"

"But… No," Rima frowned, "He would have told us. Kaname left him in charge,"

"I know," Ruka sighed, "It's just a feeling I have. He's really off-kilter, so who knows – maybe he just set off," she wrinkled her nose, "Nah, maybe I'm being silly. I'm just… just-"

"Paranoid," Yuuki offered with a sympathetic smile, "Because your best friends aren't with you,"

Ruka slowly returned her smile with a small nod, "Yeah," was all she said. And then she turned back to the closed book on her knee, "Now let's get back to _this_," she announced, silently beckoning Yuuki over with her voice, "From what you've told me, I'm almost definite that Juri-sama _did_ create a Weapon, specifically for Rido. I've looked back some entries, and," she sighed, looking up to meet Yuuki's gaze, "I think I found the reason for her doing that. It isn't pretty, at all," she flicked back to the smudged entry, pointing at the last portion, "But it doesn't matter about that – I'll tell you about that when Kaname has returned. What we must think about now is _where _she hid it. She's hidden it somewhere, and from what you said, it wasn't for long that she was away from you – so the hiding place can't be far from here-"

"Unless she used her Pureblood speed," Rima cut in. Ruka rolled her eyes.

"We're going for the simplest and most optimistic possibility here, okay?" she barked, turning back to Yuuki with a soft smile, "You need to think, Yuuki. Think where your mother could have hidden it. It can't be that far from the castle… in fact I doubt it's away from the castle at all. She wouldn't leave you alone when you were that young – even for a few moments. Which places were special to her? Are there any significant places she kept things?"

Then Yuuki's eyes bugged, and a huge smile almost split her face in half.

She dragged Ruka closer, beaming at her, "_Of course!_"

* * *

><p>And then the door opened again.<p>

When they saw the same two servants in the room again, Rima stood yet again to deal with them, but they began to practically vomit words, both at once, before she could get a word in.

"We saw K-Kur-"

"He's back! He's back-"

"– Kiry-"

"– _carrying_ the Hunter-"

"– I think he was-"

"– he looked _dead!"_

"– sleeping," the servant boy corrected, shooting the hyperventilating maid a sharp look for overreacting. He turned to Rima and held her gaze sensibly, "We think Kiryuu-san was sleeping,"

She held up her hand, shaking her head, "_One_ of you will speak," she commanded, staring pointedly at the boy, "And you will explain everything from the beginning,"

"Kuran-sama has returned," he said, "We saw him down the corridor, carrying the unconscious Hunter. He was walking towards his rooms,"

Rima dismissed them quickly, turning to look at everyone, "So, Kaname's back-"

"Why is my brother unconscious?"

The coldness of Ichiru's voice stunned them all. He had somehow managed to get to his feet and reach the centre of the room without being heard, so fast that he wasn't seen. In his eyes was cold fear, yet there was also a burning flame. Had they not known that Zero was unconscious and somewhere else, they could've mistaken Ichiru for him – since his piercing eyes and tense body language was eerily reminiscent of the moody Hunter they all knew.

Ichiru practically stomped his foot adamantly, his mouth twisting into a scowl, "Where did Kuran take him? What's going on?" He'd heard lots of things over the past few hours, about _Weapons_ and Yuuki's mother's diary. But he had no idea what was going on. No one had really explained anything to him, after all.

Nobody answered him.

Rima shot a look at Ruka, who nodded imperceptibly, "We should wait until Kaname calls for us. They may still be busy with their mission-"

"_What has he done to my brother?"_

"He has done _nothing_!" Ruka yelled, dropping her book to focus her attention on him fully, with a deadly glare. She felt like she was channelling Aidou – "How dare you insinuate that Kaname has harmed Kiryuu? He's been virtually bending over backwards to _keep him safe!"_

"I want to see him," Ichiru insisted, requesting with his eyes for one of them to take him to Kaname's room. When he saw none of them doing so, his jaw tightened and his eyes flashed, and then he turned and marched right out of the door.

Funnily enough, Ruka managed to get to Rima fast enough to stop her following him. She shook her head.

"He's angry," she said, jerking her head towards the door, "We'd best leave him to cool down a bit. Soon he'll realise he's of no use to anyone angry,"

"He can't _disturb_ Kaname!" Rima hissed, glancing at the door worriedly, "I mean… I mean…" _what if he's busy?_ It sounded silly to worry about things like respecting Kaname's space and such, but this behaviour was so ingrained in them that it was completely natural for them to worry about impeaching on the Pureblood's privacy and plans. If Kaname hadn't contacted them yet, they had to assume that he wanted to be left alone for the moment. The idea of letting someone else go and ruin what they were trying to protect was totally appalling.

"He won't find his rooms," Ruka rolled her eyes, "He barely knows this castle, stupid," she explained, strolling back to her seat, "Which means that it's most likely that he will return to us when he's done stomping around like a wounded bull. In the meantime, Kaname has left us with orders to protect everyone. _Rima_," she said meaningfully, pointing at the door.

Ruka was of course, in charge, which meant that she should stay in the room, because it held the largest number of people to be protected – Yuuki and Shiki. That left Rima with the responsibility to chase the stray wanderer – Ichiru. It was like they were shepherds managing a flock. Rima made a face, but nodded agreeably, cramming a biscuit in her mouth as she went to check on Shiki before she left. She bent down to run a hand through his hair, and then squeaked when her hand came back wet. His hair was completely soaked in sweat. Rima grabbed his chin, lifting his face and placing her other hand on his forehead. He was burning up. Already he was boiling hot, but now she could even feel him trembling slightly in pain. How could she have not noticed this? She cursed. It was her fault – in her boredom and carelessness, she had overlooked checking Shiki's fever.

He was getting steadily worse. Rima whimpered, turning to Ruka with her face scrunched up in worry for her belov- her friend. But Ruka stepped to her side and placed a hand on Shiki's shoulder. The boy stirred, but only frowned and twitched in his sleep. Ruka sighed.

"He's just suffering a little, Rima," she said softly, "It's inevitable. You know he just has to get through this pain until Rido's blood is gone. It's a fever," she brushed Shiki's hair out of his face.

"Take care of him," Rima urged, standing to leave the room. She knew that she shouldn't leave Ichiru alone for long. She was going to have to tail him in the shadows, staying invisible to him, so he wouldn't be made even angrier. Surveillance duty. Wonderful.

Rima's eyes lingered on Shiki's flushed face, and she looked up at Ruka, awaiting her answer.

The girl smiled reassuringly, placing a hand on her roommate's shoulder, "Of course. He'll be fine. Now go babysit that brat before he gets into trouble," she grinned. Rima chewed her inner cheek and rolled her eyes.

"If he's anything like his brother…" she muttered, striding out of the room, causing Ruka to let out a giggle.

Then Ruka turned her attentions back to Shiki, who was rather red in the face from the heat. She hummed sympathetically, glancing at Yuuki speculatively, but then returning her gaze back to Shiki. Yuuki noticed her though, and hopped nimbly to her feet.

"I can get him some cold towels," she suggested, but Ruka shook her head decisively.

"No, you'll stay here, as will I. You're not leaving my sight," she said firmly, raising her eyebrows to convince Yuuki to slump back in her seat. She smiled at Yuuki's compliance. The girl at least made things easier for her. Then she pursed her lips in thought, eyeing Shiki's radiator-hot face. A sudden inspiration hit her, and she chanced a look at Yuuki, catching her eye with a conspiratorial wink. She picked up one of the chilled boxes of fruit and ever so slowly and carefully balanced it on Shiki's forehead. To her amazement, it remained quite steady, and Shiki didn't flinch or move.

Yuuki's infectious giggle was muffled by her hand, but Ruka felt a rogue grin stretch across her face too as she piled the other boxes, some empty, but all still quite cool, onto Shiki's neck and around his face. He didn't stir, causing both girls to giggle silently, with Yuuki even rolling around a little in mirth, and giggle-snorted when Shiki sneezed. Sure, the situation about Shiki having fever wasn't funny… but god, did he look funny with those boxes piled on him – and him not even noticing it!

Once they'd gotten over their laughter, Ruka checked Shiki again. He was fine. He just had to be strong for a little longer, to get through this final hurdle of purging his body of Rido's poison. At least his mind was intact. At least his body (though bruised) was still well. At least he was on the steady route to recovery.

Ruka only worried… worried about her cousins. In particular – Kain. She knew where Aidou was, and was certain Takuma was keeping a hawk's eye on him, since he knew how much of a troublemaker the younger boy was. But Kain – where was he? He'd just disappeared. Why wasn't he back yet? She'd assumed he'd needed to either relieve himself, or he was resting or something… but it wasn't like him to leave his duties like this. He was supposed to be in charge.

Kaname wasn't going to be happy.

In fact, as Ruka counted back on the days, she was startled at the realisation that each one of them – each one of Kaname's friends – had _failed_ him somehow. She flushed hotly at this fact. Shiki had somewhat betrayed them – or at least his body had. Takuma protected Shiki against Kaname, which caused… _problems_, between the two best friends. Rima had let Zero get hurt again by not keeping watch on him properly. Now – Kain. Would it be her next?

* * *

><p><em>Sleep…<em>

Even though the voice was as soothing as a cloud, or the touch of a soft pillow – _hey, was that an actual pillow? It felt real –_ he groaned, trying to push himself past the the realms of sleep.

_Shh, sleep…_

"Nnn…" Zero groaned, feeling his head filled with clouds thick like fog, and feeling both light and heavy as it flopped to the side. He felt so strange – like he was almost disconnected from the physical world – able to feel the faint sensations of movement around him, there was warmth… and then there was that resonate voice in his head. It was another paradox – loud but soothing, bold but calm. He found it utterly hypnotic, and groaned again when his fuzzy brain was filled by it again.

_Rest, be calm…_

"N-No," he screwed up his face. This didn't feel natural. It was just… _weird_. It felt wrong and uncomfortable to fall asleep like this. Somehow he felt like his body was being coerced into feeling sleepy. In his mind, he was still awake. He must have been given some sort of sleeping drug then. Zero tried to prise his eyelids open, whimpering when he barely felt them quiver. This was some crazy _strong_ drug.

_Easy. Sleep…_

Wait. His frown deepened. This felt strangely familiar. He distantly remembered feeling this weightless feeling before –

Ah.

When he had tried to leave the castle with Rima to help with the mission (when the local Human villages were getting attacked by Level Es). Kaname managed to catch him and drag him back to the castle, then he somehow sent him off to sleep with his mind.

Just like this.

Zero's lips pinched, trembling as he forced the words out, "S-Stop,"

It completely freaked him out when he could actually _feel_ the voice, like a person – a foreigner in his mind, pause in similar shock. _What __**was**__ this? _A connection...

"P-Ple-Please," he stuttered through the tiny gap between his gritted teeth. Though he could feel that the rest of his body was fast asleep, his eyelids were twitching madly and he could just about open his mouth a little to speak like this.

Then there was an almost audible _whoosh_, and the uncomfortable feeling was removed, as was the voice, and then the pressure on his limbs was also gone. Zero's madly twitching eyes sprung open, and he saw his chest heaving as he struggled for breath. The heat of a large hand combing through his hair almost made him shriek, but he couldn't quite summon the breath to do so. Even so, he stared wide-eyed at Kaname poised above him, staring at him with concern as he fiddled with his hair. The Pureblood smiled shakily at him as he began to regain his bearings, and he continued to soothingly stroke Zero's hair.

"W-Wha-" he babbled, trying to sit up, but Kaname placed his other warm hand on his chest to hold him down. The heat warmed him right to his core, and Zero found his eyelids fluttering as the urge to flop back and just let himself _sleep _nagged at his mind.

"Shh,"

Zero tensed. Kaname's voice? _Kaname's voice?_ The voice in his head from before sounded _exactly_ like Kaname. Could it be-?

Unless it had been Kaname talking to him all this time, and it was just because his eyes were shut that he didn't know it was him talking.

Then he was pressed back down on the bed by Kaname's invisble hands, and reluctantly stayed there, though he twisted to keep an eye on Kaname. He was walking over to the foot of the bed where he began unlacing Zero's trainers and ducking down to put them on the floor. Zero began to panic when Kaname started to tug his pants off as well – them being Kaname's trousers, so they were already quite loose and easy to remove.

"H-Hey!"

"What?" Kaname looked quizzically at him. Zero felt foolish, and slumped down meekly, melding into the mattress as his cheeks began to burn. What an idiot he was being. He was lying on a bed - obviously Kaname was helping him undress so he could go to sleep. Sure, it was a little invasive, and he wasn't exactly sure why he was being restrained from moving, but maybe Kaname was just feeling like he wanted to be...useful? Maybe he just wanted to -

No. It didn't make sense. Not at all.

"What are you doing?" he finally asked, sighing with relief that he was able to talk. Zero wiggled his fingers, and then his toes. Kaname's mental hold on him was relaxing -

"I'm helping you undress, it's time to sleep,"

He could have laughed at how Kaname spoke - like he was a little child and Kaname was telling him his bedtime.

But the situation wasn't funny. It _felt_ funny, as in "strange". But Zero didn't find himself laughing. Instead he found himself blushing madly as Kaname tugged off his clothes.

With his body feeling so lethargic, he found himself lying there, flat like a pancake, watching _Kaname _undress him. Holy shit. He surely had never seen this coming. He was especially chagrined when his body didn't so much as tremble when Kaname dragged the trousers off his legs. _Traitor_, he growled inwardly to his feet, _kick him. Kick him._

Why his trousers, why his trousers, why his trousers?

As his legs became exposed to the chill of the air outside their previous encasement, there was the internally strange feeling as his _cold shivers_ were removed by his immobility.

Zero whined through his closed mouth, unable to even open it. He was as loose-limbed as a ragdoll – useless. And now he was only in his boxers. He began to think the worst of Kaname when he began to remove his own shirt. Even through this strange paralysis, Zero saw down his body, his toe twitch urgently as he tried to nudge his legs to _kick Kaname_. _The pervert. _He huffed loudly, pumping up all his strength in his arms to lift his body onto shaky elbows to be able to glare at Kaname properly.

His movement caused Kaname to look up.

"N-No," he managed, his eyes never leaving Kaname as he shucked his shirt to the side, leaving the Pureblood with his top half bare - an opposite to Zero. He smoothly and quickly dragged the covers from under Zero – so quick that he barely even felt it. Kaname either didnt hear his weak voice, or pretended not to, since he was concentrated on smoothing the covers over Zero's trembling form. The force of his hand spreading the duvet pressed Zero back down, flat on the mattress. All his efforts were null.

It really truly shocked Zero when he saw Kaname gracefully leap over to the other side of the bed and lift the other side of the duvet, slipping into the bed too. He was shocked enough to squawk loudly when Kaname casually drew the covers up to his bare neck and closed his eyes, saying a calm, "Goodnight," as he did so.

"Oi!" he said, his voice strangely squeaky. Zero tried to roll away from Kaname to at least put a little distance between him, but his body was still stuck to the bed, so he couldn't even move a finger, let alone _escape_. What – no, _who_ did Kaname think he was, sharing a bed with Zero? From before, Zero knew that Kaname thought of him as being Isamu – his _lover_ – and he couldn't help but admit that he was worried, lying on a bed with him, both of them half-naked. What was Kaname thinking?

"Relax,"

Zero grunted, feeling the odd sensation you feel when you're about to sneeze and then stop mid-way – his _jump of fright_ was stolen from him, because his body, of course, was still as stationary as a rock. He strained his neck, managing to just tilt his head enough to see Kaname gazing back at him, calm as ever.

They were so close to each other. Enough so that Zero could count the thick dark lashes framing Kaname's half-lidded, almond shaped eyes. He could see the flecks of pure cadmium red glittering in the pools of wine, or blood red pupils set in those mesmerising eyes. He could feel the soft puffs of breath from Kaname's nostrils, angled to reach the exposed portion of his neck, and feel the warmth of his body steadily warming up the cool space of the mattress between them.

It was… so _intimate_. And at first Zero felt incredibly uncomfortable with it. He was never the type of person who enjoyed sharing his space.

He knew it was because of the Bond, which kept them in close proximity at all times (unless he wanted Kaname to experience unbearable pain), which was forcing Kaname to sleep in the same bed as him.

But then…then he stopped listening to his precedent expectations, his still-present grudge against Purebloods (ergo Kaname) and his dislike of close human contact (apart from his brother), and he took a moment to really _feel_ the comfort from their closeness. He had to admit that the warmth was nice, as was the soothing puffs of cool air which cooled the hotness of his still-burning cheeks.

Despite it all, Zero found himself relaxing, and feeling bizarrely at ease.

Even though he knew that he was lying half-naked next to someone who had previously been one of his greatest rivals, and was now his sort-of-new friend… he didn't feel so embarrassed anymore, even under Kaname's piercing stare.

Funnily enough, he had inadvertently followed Kaname's command again, yet though he was now relaxed, he still wasn't tired.

Kaname seemed to sense this, since he reached out an arm – Zero tensing before it landed – on his cheek, and it gently circled his jaw to land on the cool nape of his neck. He shuddered, feeling the absolutely _wonderful_ warmth seep into his skin. That part of his neck was always cold. Unlike Ichiru, Zero didn't keep his hair long, so it was always exposed. The fact that the part of his neck Kaname's hand lay upon overlapped his Hunter's seal tattoo, only made the sensation more electric.

How did Kaname know that rubbing his neck made him feel sleepy? Only a few… no, only two people knew that – Yagari and Ichiru, from the times when they were young children, and the horrified Hunter was given babysitting duty by their parents. Yagari quickly figured out how to get the two twins to settle down to sleep – Ichiru needed a warm hand on his back, Zero (the more stubborn of the two) succumbed to sleep easier when the back of his neck was rubbed.

Zero tried to ignore the unusual and unsettling fact that Kaname had pinpointed one of his weak spots on his body without any preamble – it must have just been a good guess. He felt his eyes slipping shut, but growled determinedly, narrowing his eyes into slits as he glowered at Kaname.

"Stop it," he hissed, trembling in the invisible restraints, "I know what you're do-"

"You're tired," Kaname insisted, digging his fingers slightly more into Zero's neck, which made his mouth go slightly slack in pleasure, "As am I. I haven't slept for a long time now, so I would be grateful if you could be so kind as to let me do so for a few hours at least,"

"A f-few questions," Zero stuttered, opening his eyes again to appeal more to Kaname's generosity. He did notice how Kaname's half-lidded eyes were actually struggling to remain open, and the way that his thumb paused every now and again on his neck, mid-rub. It was like he had to force himself to remain awake, even as his body was trying to switch off. He felt bad for keeping him awake, but he needed some answers first, before he could even think about sleeping.

Kaname's brow furrowed in consideration; he _could_ just force Zero back into sleep. That would be the easiest option. He didn't like to think of what Zero might ask him.

Then again, he didn't like the idea of Zero getting angry over him forcing him to sleep even more. It seemed that Zero had figured out it was his doing which managed to hold him unconscious for so long. It was only because Kaname thought it would be easiest if Zero was given some time to calm down (via sleep), and it would be easier for him too to carry him back to the castle, if he was asleep.

"Three," he sighed, rolling onto his side to face Zero fully, "Three questions only,"

"Five,"

"Three,"

_"Five,"_

"Four,"

"Five, damn it!"

Kaname's lips pinched, but he was too tired to argue or bargain for sleep. If he just answered the questions quickly, sleep would come faster. With this in mind, he accepted five questions, rolling his eyes as Zero smirked in victory.

"So, is the duck seriously the Weapon?"

This made Kaname blink slowly in confusion, his eyebrows still creased. And then he snorted, realising what Zero meant. He thought that… he thought…

"_No_," he scoffed. Zero scowled, opening his mouth to ask another question. And then he stopped, shooting a cautious look at Kaname. It was clear that he had almost wasted one of his questions. No doubt he was going to ask what the duck was for. He had asked that before, in the cave. In time, Kaname would hopefully be able to tell him. It was Kaname's turn to smirk, albeit his was a tame half-quirk of his lips. He was so tired…

"Ok," Zero sulked, scraping his teeth on his lower lip first, "Next question: did you _find_ a Weapon after you oh-so-kindly knocked me out?" he raised one eyebrow resentfully.

"No," Kaname repeated, seriously this time. After he'd laid Zero's unconscious body carefully on the 'sleeping spot' near Isamu, and he'd swept the cave several times, he gave up. He couldn't sense anything like a Weapon. That must mean that there _was_ no Weapon. Perhaps he had really killed Katsuo with his bare hands, that time long ago. Zero's scowl darkened. Kaname simply blinked at him, "Third question,"

"Third question," Zero repeated, "Why did you ask my age, when you wanted to know my story?" This question had been bugging Zero ever since Kaname asked it. It wasn't really important or significant enough to be a huge priority, but still, the strangeness of the question really distracted him.

This made Kaname smile slowly, surprisingly, "It supports the proof that it was _you_, my love, who stirred my Slumber. You say that you were four years old or thereabouts when you wandered into the cave? Well, I can remember how I tracked the days, the hours since my heart began to beat faster. It was a full year later when Rido arrived in the cave, with the child – Kuran Kaname in his arms to Reawaken me. Kaname's body was five years old when I took it,"

"And now we're the same age," Zero concluded. Kaname nodded.

"_Physically_, we are the same age," he corrected, eyes twinkling, "That's a little bit more proof to say that it was _you_. You, who one year prior to my Awakening, stirred my heart into beating. If it wasn't for you, I would not have Awoken, or at least, not _successfully_,"

"And ever since you Awoke, you've been coming back to him?"

"Ever since I turned six, one year later. In that year, Haruka and Juri died. Also, you see, that same year I lost Yuuki; I gave her to Kurosu-san. Everyone was gone, the people that mattered to me. I had to see you," Kaname smiled softly, even slightly _hopefully_ at him. His next words came out as a half-sob, "And you were _there_. For me," He couldn't lie, he couldn't say that the image of a young Kaname left behind, after everything – after everything

didn't make his heart crack in sympathy. That a young boy, only six (it didn't matter that he knew Kaname was _much _older than six in reality. Zero could only picture a six-year-old Kaname being with the fears of a six-year-old – namely, _abandonment_) craved comfort from a cold, ancient grave. The grave of a long-dead lover. It was sad. It was cruel, but ultimately, it always seemed to end up that

Kaname was left alone.

"To see Isamu," Zero choked, "You had to see _Isamu_," but Kaname's smile persisted through his mock-serious look. He was glad that Kaname didn't seem to be hurt, even though the memories must be painful to dredge back up.

"One question left," he was reminded, by Kaname's sleepy slur.

Zero nodded, thinking of his last question; one sprung from their talk in the cave too. He just kept remembering that phrase –

_I've been waiting for so long. I knew it. I knew we'd be together again-_

– he ran it through his mind again. Kaname had been waiting. Waiting for what? For them to be together again? But why? He knew that Isamu was dead. He'd _seen_ him die. Where did this hope come from? How could Kaname honestly believe so strongly that Isamu would be reincarnated?

Who knew?

Zero fumbled with his thoughts, pondering how he was supposed to compile all these questions into one. His eyes slid over to Kaname's face, taking in the shaded contours of the side pressed to the pillow, and the smattering of hair that had fallen to obscure the other side of his face. His eyes were shut. _He'd better not be asleep_, Zero thought, _or even though I'm unable to move, I _will_ find a way to smack him._

He returned back to his thoughts, mentally shaking his head at how easily he was distracted by Kaname's careless good looks. He was no better than those damn fan-girls back at the Academy, if he was so easily sidetracked.

So, what was the reason for Kaname believing in something as spiritual, or maybe loopy, as reincarnation? Maybe it was denial. Maybe it was that –

"C'mon, I'm gonna fall asleep…" Kaname slurred, blearily opening one eye.

"You've never... really accepted that he died, did you?"

He made sure his voice was light and soft, knowing that this question walked on the very eggshells of Kaname's fragile belief. For some reason, instead of wanting to argue with Kaname about the truth about reincarnation, forcing his own belief doggedly against the equally stubborn (and tired) Vampire King, he didn't want to shatter Kaname's one true belief. It was like his hope. His light. It was like this hope had been his only salvation through the dark times, the dark years and years and years of being alone and waiting.

Kaname's other eye opened too, and for a long moment, he simply stared at Zero. The same uncomfortable, piercing stare that shot through Zero's skin, his blood and muscles and organs and struck right at his heart.

This was the way, he was sure, that Kaname looked at Isamu, once upon a time.

Devotion was in his eyes, as well as a promise, mourning (still, after all these years) and also… desire. These were all emotions that danced around the wine pools of Kaname's dark eyes, sharp despite his exhaustion. His thin, pink lips upturned again. This time, this smile did something to Zero's heart. It made it jump, maybe once. Zero owed it to the sight of a well-constructed, soft and sleepy, charming crooked grin. The composition of Kaname's expression at that precise moment tugged at Zero's heartstrings, pumping his heart faster.

The only way to describe it was that Kaname held such a tortured beauty. Thousands of years of pain in his eyes, yet they still smiled, as did his lips. There was something inspiring about the contrasting devastation of his face, the way that beauty masked an ugly past.

For a while, Zero thought that he would not answer, but then Kaname's lips opened, and he whispered.

"Love never dies,"

Clouds of dark pink filled Zero's cheeks, but he was numb to the hotness of his face, caught in the myriad of emotions shooting across Kaname's face, rapid-fire. Deliverance, fear, hope, _fear_, pain, **_fear_**…

It was too much. There was too much.

Kaname's eyes were burning him.

He made to move, to roll around, when he remembered his predicament, and therefore turned could only his head away. This way, he hoped he could escape that tortured gaze, the pleas that emanated from Kaname's delicate hope: _love me, please love me, Isamu… Isamu…!_

He couldn't take it.

Where he faced now, was towards the open doorway leading to Kaname's study, next door. Through the doorway, he could just see the desk. He decided to focus there, to calm his racing heartbeat down. It was a desk. Think of the desk. Don't think about Kaname's eyes. Don't think about his pain. Don't think about him!

Zero's eyes peered at the desk, concentrating furiously on taking everything on it in. He couldn't see much, apart from what might be some sort of white ornament. Even by squinting he couldn't see what it was. He gave up, turning back to face the ceiling. He could tell that Kaname was still awake, and probably avidly staring at him still.

It made him feel slightly sick.

"You were tired, weren't you?" he gulped, suddenly the same feeling like he was under a hundred spotlights came about. That was just about the nearest representational example of what Kaname's stares were like. Zero had heard that his own glares and stares were respectively terrifying, but if he was terrifying, Kaname was just a different brand of terrifying. Kaname's stare was more of a slow burn, like a magnifying glass under the Sun. It must be the reason why Zero's cheeks flared and burned. Zero cleared his throat nervously, closing his eyes as an example, "Sleep,"

"You sleep first,"

Blunt – so blunt! Why did Kaname speak like this to him? He'd heard so often of the tactful, gentle manner of the famous Pureblood's diplomatic speech. So where the hell was he? Where were these manners? Incorrigible! Totally unreasonable – how could he sleep with Kaname still boring holes into the side of his face?

"_You_ should try sleeping when you're bound to a bed in invisible ropes, so tight that you can barely breathe properly," the bonds over his chest loosened significantly at this, "A freaking Vampire staring so hard at you, your face actually hurts from the attention," he heard the rustle of Kaname's head turning on his pillow, "Good. That's better, thanks. Goodnight, Kaname,"

"Goodnight, Zero," came a softened reply.

Zero cursed his heart as it throbbed happily – how the hell could it even _do _that anyway? This was the first time, in what seemed like a _long _time, that Kaname had finally called him "Zero" instead of "Isamu". Perhaps it was just the thought that Kaname believed him to be Isamu which unnerved Zero, and made _this_ so reassuring to him. He was Zero. He was Zero… He was…

"_Go to sleep, Zero,"_

"Hnnn…" he groaned, hearing the Voice in his head again. He cracked his eye open one last time, half-way, and caught sight of shimmering wine red eyes watching him carefully. Kaname's mouth didn't move. It was fixed in the gentlest, tiniest smile ever. Zero watched his hand come to rub his neck again – he didn't remember when he'd stopped.

"_Sleep,"_ the Voice urged, and Kaname's smile became just as warm and soothing as the Voice.

So… he did.

- _Love never dies - _

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note (again):<strong>

**Kk, listen up guys. I've fiddle-dee-diddled with the original VK _again_. Oh shoot me. XD **

**I know it's written that Kuran Kaname was stolen by Rido as a bebe, but hell, I made him a young child like Zero, in my story. Because its miiiiine. Haha. **

**It works though, that's the main reason. I don't wanna mess with things which don't need to be tweaked to fit my story. It's just bcos it works that I've done this – I wanted Kaname to be properly shitted up, with the fact that he Awoken by Rido, gained a family and lost it, within the span of a couple of years. Ack. I'm so cruel. **

**But… this is de angst. So enjoy it while you can, before I go all fluffy.**

**BTW, sorry about the length of this chapter! Ack, I couldn't stop typing. Everything just fell out of my head! I hope it was at least satisfying, what with my updates slowing down a lot. Expect more KZ interactions!**


	74. Before We Lose It All

**Author's note: **

**Oh guys, the more I write this, the more I'm seeing Ruka as a real comical character, almost as much as Aidou! Maybe she's becoming more OOC in this fic, but **_**my god**_**, it's so fun to write her I don't even **_**care!**_

**Lordy, she's grown a formidable temper as this has progressed. You'll see what I mean. XD**

* * *

><p>What could you use to bait a Hunter?<p>

She was considering using little bell and ringing for him, or blowing a dog whistle, or something… where could he be? He'd only been gone for a few minutes – but already he was nowhere in sight!

Kiryuu's.

They were both just **made** of _trouble_.

You couldn't leave them alone – somehow they'd manage to find trouble, or maybe, it was trouble which found them. It didn't matter which way it was. Why was it that _she_ was left trying to find the damn nuisance? What did she do to deserve this? Maybe this was Fate's turn for punishment for failing Kaname – a revenge that he didn't even need to serve. Jogging through the castle at the highest speed she could muster (since she had become increasingly familiar with every turn and twist in the corridors, and could anticipate sharp turns instinctively now, slowing her speed accordingly as she did so), she was finding it very difficult to ignore the troubling fact that her footsteps were leading her further and further away from the parlour than she had anticipated.

Already, she had crossed the boundary of the library which separated the west side with the east side. There was no sign of Ichiru yet, and she was getting chills. Ichiru didn't know the layout of the castle at all, but strangely enough, from the areas she had crossed off – where he wasn't found – she was finding herself drawing closer to the part of the castle where Kaname's room was.

Funny that.

But she wasn't laughing, especially when her feet skidded to a stop, and she found herself staring in horror as Ichiru finished turning the doorknob with a portentous click, and opening the door.

That door being _Kaname's _door. How the hell did Ichiru manage to find his way **there** when he didn't know the castle? What were the chances?

Oh shit!

Rima sprung to action, sprinting to Ichiru's side, faster than he could turn to see her. She grabbed his wrist, making to grab him around the mouth too, to silence him (though he was actually already _stunned_ into silence, having only just noticed her appearing out of nowhere). As they wrestled together – she trying to pin him against the wall, with him wildly and surprisingly skilfully dodging her attempts. Luckily, neither of them made much noise. She managed to curl her arms over Ichiru's shoulders, now hanging on his back, she coiled her hands over his mouth, just under his nose, to block any cries for help he may release lest he became that desperate. Ichiru still pushed at her, digging his nails in the legs wrapped around his waist in a deadlock. She felt him lick the inside of her hand, just like Shiki and Takuma did when they wanted her to stop doing this to them, and grimaced but continued to cling on. Muffled protests misted the insides of her palms, making her hands slimy with saliva. Rima winced, squeezing her hands tighter and lurching forwards so her lips hovered near his ear.

"Be quiet, Kiryuu," she hissed in his ear, "You should _not_ be here-"

She was cut off when her eyes fell to the side, and she caught sight of

Kaname. And Zero. In a bed **together**. Sleeping.

She absentmindedly felt Ichiru go slack and slump face-first against the wall from his deadweight. His face was angled towards the door too though, so there was no doubt in her mind that she saw this scene too. Rima's hold on Ichiru loosened with shock, and eventually she fell off his back, touching the floor with her feet softly, soundlessly. She clasped one hand around Ichiru's shoulder (having to reach fully up, because he was so damn _tall_) and dragged him around the corridor corner, even as her grip was severely weaker from astonishment.

When they reached a reasonable distance away from them, Ichiru turned her against the wall in a reversal of her previous action, and she sucked in a harsh breath to see his eyes as livid and strangely _hysterical_.

"_What_. Was that?"

Rima narrowed her eyes, refusing to be intimidated by the eerily identical Kiryuu Zero glare TM Ichiru was using. His teeth were clenched as he asked this, and he shook her roughly.

"I don't know!" she hissed, darting an anxious look across at the still open door, "Be quiet, Ichiru-kun!"

"What the hell type of game are you Vampires playing?" he growled, squeezing her shoulders, "I have _no_ idea what's going on, and then I come around to see _this_," he threw an arm towards the direction of Kaname's room and his face scrunched up, "I - I just - what is Kuran playing at?"

"Ichiru-kun, trust me, I have _no_ idea-"

"Bullshit. _Tell me_," Ichiru snarled, lowering his face directly to her height. Rima couldn't suppress a shiver at the absolutely incensed expression of his face, "How - no, _**why**_ should I believe _you_? You're a Vampire. I'm a Hunter. Trust doesn't naturally run between us. Now, I know that we have to work together in this damn War, and that forces me to listen to what you guys say, because you happen to _know_ what's going on, whilst I'm left in the dark – because **no one** wants to tell me what's going on. But that also forces me to make my own conclusions about things, you know?

"So when I see _Kuran_ and **my brother** cuddled up in a bed together, with **my brother** still as a fucking statue – looking fucking _dead_ rather than asleep, with Kuran sleeping peacefully at his side. I have to wonder if I'm getting the _**wrong idea**_ from it, yeah?"

Rima nodded absentmindedly at this rhetorical question. Somewhere at the back of her mind, she knew she could easily overpower this weakling Hunter, but his anger was truly terrifying. She was paralysed by his frightful stare.

She recalled that Zero really _did_ look unnaturally still in the bed. Also, she remembered those servants blabbering about what they had seen – Kaname carrying a _dead_ Zero down the corridor. Her heart froze. What if… what if… no. Surely Zero couldn't be _dead_. Kaname wouldn't be sleeping "peacefully at his side" if that were so. He'd be dead too – the Bond tied his life to Zero's.

"Your brother isn't dead," she decided to relay to the fuming Hunter, to try to appease him a little.

Ichiru scoffed, "I know that. I don't think even your bloody King can be so fucked up as to _sleep_ beside a dead person. But what I _do_ know is that Kuran must be keeping him under some sort of spell. He's being forcibly held to that bed. I've got to-" he began to move away, back towards Kaname's rooms –

"No!" Rima squeaked, clambering onto his back again, "You can't disturb Kaname-sama!" she exclaimed, fighting with Ichiru's arms. She managed to hold them behind him, so he was bent forwards, snarling and hissing as she wrapped her smaller hands around his wrists as makeshift handcuffs. It was really quite easy to overpower this Hunter, she thought. Why was Ichiru here? He was a rather pointless fixture if his purpose was not as a bodyguard. He was meant to be a connection to the Hunters, for Zero, but…

"Let go! Let me go-"

"Stay the fuck down," she snapped, pushing him face-first against the wall again. She squeezed his wrists as a warning, then letting them go and only holding him by the middle of his back to the wall. Ichiru slammed his hands against the wall, pushing as hard as he could to free himself.

"Kaname would _not_ have hurt Zero-kun," Rima insisted, pushing harder at his back. He flattened against the wall and let his weak arms hang. She felt a spark of sympathy to his physical weakness. Clearly Ichiru was just as strong mentally as Zero – his determination to do things was hard as steel, just like his brother's. But he was also sensible, and clever. He knew there was no way he could win against Rima's strength, which must be embarrassing since he was a full head taller than her and much bigger than her, so he relented to save his dignity – to not waste his energy, when he already looked pathetically like a struggling mouse pinned by a cat's paw. Rima nodded at his wise decision, letting her other hand rest kindly on his arm, patting it gently, "You must understand, Kaname c-c-" she took a deep steadying breath, "Kaname-sama _cares_ about your brother. He's very important to him,"

Ichiru laughed bitterly, "How can you ask me to _understand_ this? I know _nothing_ of what's going on here,"

"Ichiru-kun, if it really counts for anything, I apologise on behalf of all of us," Rima said quietly, suddenly realising the impact of what Ichiru must feel. For only one second, she tried to step into his shoes and understand where all his anger was coming from. It was as simple as this – Ichiru felt disrespected. Disregarded. His opinions and what "he needed to know" didn't count or matter. Shepherded into _being_ nothing more than the dummy to provide Zero comfort. He felt useless – as he must have felt for most of his life, being known as the "lesser twin". Everyone knew about the Kiryuu's Twin Curse, and that he was supposedly the one who was weaker and practically worthless. In the eyes of his parents, he was most likely seen as a waste of space and effort – a tumour stuck to the side of their prized son, Zero.

Ichiru twisted his neck, craning his head to see her. A wry smile curved his lips, and Rima tried to return it.

Another bitter laugh escaped his lips though, which cancelled Rima's feeble smile.

"I don't want an apology, I want to know what Kuran is doing to my brother. I want to _understand_, Toya-san – _why won't anyone tell me anything?"_

Sympathy made Rima turn Ichiru, facing him to her, she gazed up at his pained expression. It **must be **humiliating above all, to be treated like a child – to be kept in the dark, to be kept ignorant of everything for innocence. Truly, Rima didn't know why Ichiru wasn't told anything. In her own opinion, ignorance was dangerous. He needed to understand – he needed to be a part of the goings on around him, or he may be innocently caught in the crossfire of many misunderstandings.

Even **Yuuki** knew more things than Ichiru. And once, not very long ago, Rima had marvelled at how sweetly innocent and ignorant Yuuki was kept by Kaname. It suddenly hit her – the parallels the siblings of Kaname and Zero shared, the similarities in how the younger siblings were left ignorant of their surroundings. Their older siblings only wanted them protected and kept innocent.

She knew they were only overprotective because they cared, but…

Somehow it still seemed to be… wrong.

Weren't they old enough to make their own decisions? Weren't they old enough to be aware of the world? Ignorance was a blanket of protection, well enough - ignorance may be bliss. But it couldn't protect you forever. It was a thin skinned blanket. Knowledge was power – consequently, it was much thicker armour compared to simple ignorance. In time ignorance could prove to be more harm than protection, as the ignorant person may act dangerously, whilst the informed, knowledgeable person would be more likely to act rationally at the very least.

"I'll explain everything to you," Rima promised Ichiru, pulling him down the corridor to the side. "But you must accept that even _I_ do not know everything. I don't know, for example, I honestly do not know why your brother and Kaname are sleeping in bed together. Nor do I _want_ to know, something tells me…"

This time when Ichiru laughed, it sounded incredulous, disbelieving.

"Neither do I, but I must," he answered her, tilting his head to the side, "I mean, it's strange, isn't it? Seeing them like that. I never imagined…"

"That's because-"_ of their Bond_, she wanted to say, but at Ichiru's questioning look she simply smiled, patting his shoulder, "I'll explain it to you, don't worry,"

"Even now, I don't know if I can trust you to tell me the truth or lies, or if you will keep things from me or not," Ichiru confessed, softening his still sharp eyes to show his diffidence.

"Because I'm a Vampire, right?" she nudged him jokingly, but her words were serious. Ichiru was crafted as a Hunter, he was born as one and raised as one. It wasn't natural to him to trust her, which she acknowledged as a still impenetrable wall between them that Ichiru saw, would never let them see eye to eye. "I promise to tell you all that I know, if that's consolation enough,"

"I suppose it is," Ichiru smiled wanly, throwing one last glance over his shoulder, down the passage which led to his brother and Kaname, "If you don't know why they're acting like _that_ together…" he jerked his head meaningfully, and then shook it, "Then I'll have to believe you. It's just… it isn't _natural _for a Hunter and Vampire to be _like that_ together,"

"I thought you'd be angrier about their gender," she admitted softly.

"That isn't the most important thing here – I just can't _stand_ the idea of Zero falling for… for…"

"A Pureblood?" Rima asked coolly, though from her tone Ichiru knew he was overstepping the boundaries between comfortable conversation and insult.

He nodded solemnly, turning to look at her with equal cool detachment. His eyes were lost in memories, frozen in a pained expression which made Rima feel very unsettled.

"I know what it's like, to fall in love with one,"

Rima gasped, turning to stare back at him, jaw agape. He fell in love? With a **Pureblood**?

"And it leads to nothing but pain," Ichiru's resolute stare was disturbing to say the least. "Because Vampires and Hunters just _don't mix. _I don't want Zero to ever experience that. Purebloods have done nothing but ruin our lives,"

Rima wasn't listening to him anymore though. Her mind was drawn to what he had just unknowingly implied.

_Zero falling for… for… __**a Pureblood**__. _

_**For Kaname**__._

It completely blew her mind.

No way! No way could that happen. As Ichiru had said, it just wasn't –

"- it's just not natural, you know? I don't like the idea of my brother doing that-"

In retrospect, it was quite hypocritical of Ichiru to comment on his brother like this. Didn't he just admit to falling for a Pureblood himself? (Rima was brimming with the urge to ask who that Pureblood was) If he even _was_ falling for – for –

"- impossible. I just can't see it. If he doesn't-"

"Yes," Rima interjected, ignoring Ichiru's peeved look as she swung an arm around his waist, dragging him faster towards the parlour, "I understand. I just think that we should really go find a place and talk about this, don't you? You wanted me to explain things…"

Ichiru's expression cleared, and his pleasant smile graced his face again, like a waking Sun. Rima marvelled at the sudden change. If Zero only smiled like that… she would have actually noticed that he was – well, _the Kiryuu __**twins**_ were really _handsome _boys. Not in the league of Vampires, perhaps, but for _non-_Vampires, they were quite attractive with their striking features. It was just that Zero was scowling all the time, which really limited his appearance to – fairly okay-looking, sometimes – because his expression was too scary to even consider as _nice_. Ichiru was much more of a brighter, sunshiny character, she thought (though she'd just also seen the other side to that personality – the side which was uncannily comparable to his brother's), and he smiled more.

As she led them back towards the parlour, her mind wandered to what Ichiru had said again. It just... bugged her, a lot. The way he said "_it's just not natural_" so casually. What was not natural? She had to admit - it was the furthest thing from what she had imagined - seeing Kaname and Zero _like that. _In fact, she still hadn't fully recovered from the shock of seeing them. It didn't make sense to her, and it wasn't something that she thought she _could_ understand. However, Rima didn't consider herself a _completely_ tolerant person, but neither was she a homophobe, or racist… Was it the fact that Kaname and Zero were both boys which disgusted Ichiru? Or that by loving each other, they (sort of) crossed breeds, one being a Pureblood, the other a Hunter? She tried to push down the ridiculous notion that she was feeling _disappointed _in Ichiru for acting this way. It didn't make sense for her to feel that way, having only known him for barely a day. But… Rima couldn't ignore the feeling that she _was_ disappointed. If Zero's relationship disgusted Ichiru so much, what if that disgust spilled into his own relationship with his brother? Was it fair to Zero that he might be shunned by the only family he had for his sexuality, or because he loved a Vampire – someone a Hunter should never fall for?

Even though _she_ was shocked by the revelation, she couldn't see anything "_wrong"_ about what Kaname and Zero were. It was bloody un-anticipated. But was it wrong?

She turned to peer up at Ichiru again, seeing his easy smile still plastered on his face, but a lingering uneasiness in his eyes. She recognised it – the emotion lingering in Ichiru's eyes – she had seen it very recently before, many times, in her own… in _Shiki's_ eyes. Guilt and self-disgust. They coiled around each other, both just as repulsive and frightening in their intensity, dirtying Ichiru's glassy lilac eyes.

Rima didn't know _who_ this mystery Pureblood was, who Ichiru had once loved. But she could tell that Ichiru didn't look back on his lost relationship fondly. Maybe it was his own bad experiences from this relationship which crafted his pre-emptive bias. Maybe it was him reversing the role of being-protected, and trying to protect Zero in turn.

Rima could forgive this. If this was the reason for Ichiru's actions, then she supposed she could forgive him for it.

Still… that phrase echoed: "_it's just not natural_".

She couldn't shake the image from her mind, of her leader and Zero sleeping on that bed together. Sure, Zero did _not_ look natural – stiff as a board, _sleeping_ like the dead, in a _completely_ unnatural way.

But Kaname…

She could still see it – the way he was curved on his side, facing towards Zero… she hadn't been able to see his expression, but she did see how relaxed his body was, and how it seemed to nestle beside Zero comfortably. She'd never seen Kaname asleep before, which was probably part of the reason why this image still burned so brightly in her mind. His relaxed figure spoke for itself – he trusted Zero, at the very least, with being completely unguarded around him. Kaname's arms had been significantly positioned too – one hidden under the pillow under Zero's head, the other sprawled onto Zero's abdomen.

Rima remembered what she had said before, to appease Ichiru: "_Kaname-sama cares about your brother._" That thought rang surprisingly true, now that she looked back on it properly. Kaname _did_ look like he really cared about Zero. At least, he was trying to protect him the best he could, he was always worrying about him, and from what she'd seen…

What other word fit better to describe that image, than _"natural"_? She'd never seen Kaname look so natural, so relaxed and comfortable like that -

_Crunch_.

Rima blinked, looking around for the noise. What was that? Not the crunch of broken glass, but more the rustle of paper.

Her fingers slipped from Ichiru's arm when he suddenly stooped down to pick up something – ah, it was paper. Ripped paper. She watched Ichiru arrange the few ripped pieces back together on his opened palm. They crinkled up, stubbornly curling and rustling apart whenever he tried to fit them together, so the words wouldn't align. So she tugged his hand down and helped him arrange them. It was a small scroll, she realised, but not a formal military one. Rima smoothed them out carefully, and read them and –

No. Oh no.

In Rima's mind was a whirling hurricane of jumbled information. From Ichiru to Zero and Kaname to… to _this!_

She recognised Aidou's handwriting, and seeing this note addressed to Kaname, she wondered why it had never reached its target. But then, what if Kaname hadn't been available at that moment? The note must have been passed on to the next-in-command:

Kain.

If Kain read this note… this note which, although most of it was cryptic due to fact that it appeared coded at times (most likely because she had _no idea_ what it was talking about), she could pick out the fact that Aidou and Takuma were going on some mission. Some mission that Aidou had deliberately pointed out would _not_ be a suicide mission, but she could see how easily those words could be twisted into some other meaning.

Like reverse psychology, Kain must have seen something else in this note. Just mentioning the word "suicide" must have inspired a whole new kind of fear.

**That's** why he was missing! As soon as he got this, he must have rushed out –

"Shit!" she squealed, shoving the papers into her pocket. She grabbed Ichiru's arm again and began racing down the corridors at a breakneck speed now.

Little did Kain, or Aidou, or Takuma know, but Kaname and Zero's mission was _over _now. Oh – the timing was so bad! Kaname's mission had lasted less time than they had anticipated, so now… the whole point of their "diversion" was pointless!

"What? What is it?"

"We have to get to Ruka, right _now_!"

"W-Why?" Ichiru protested, tugging on her arm, "It's addressed to Kuran. We should go back-"

"**No**," Rima roared, dragging him along even harder. There was no doubt in her mind that that would be a _tragic _affair if this problem was brought to light, especially since Kaname was sleeping so peacefully –

"_Why_?"

"Because-" Rima pause to rip open the door, throwing Ichiru into the room in front of her, "If we tell him this, I can guarantee that Kain _will _die by his hands,"

Ruka immediately stood at this, catching the stumbling Ichiru smoothly, but she looked startled all the same by what Rima had just said. "What?"

"I think I know where Kain is right now," Rima offered her the slips of paper, folding her arms agitatedly as she did so. "We found this near the kitchens. He must have gone and sent the snacks to us," She threw a look at Ichiru which sternly told him: _Do not speak a word of what we have seen to them_. He nodded indiscernibly in agreement.

Their attentions were both drawn at the same moment though, only seconds later, because Ruka's infamous temper was like a volcano – there were tremors at first, reverberating the room in the form of an almost palpable tension. She had only read the note, but thinking on the same lines as her cousins was something she did subconsciously – it was obvious that she already knew what this note implied, especially from what Rima had said. They watched in horror as she began to erupt, her cheeks flushing almost maroon in a most un-ladylike fashion as she grit her teeth and _snarled_.

"Oh, he's dead alright," she barked, grinding the paper practically into dust, "And if he isn't, by the time Kaname finds out-" her head snapped to Rima's opening mouth when she began to protest. The smaller girl was immediately silenced by her friend's crazed look, "- because he _**will**_ most definitely be told of Kain's _stupidity_," the volume of her voice grew at an alarming crescendo, to the point where she was roaring, and it even managed to force Rima to back-step right back into the corridor, "And if he _**doesn't**_ decide to kill Kain, I promise you, that _**I**__** most **__**certainly**__** will!"**_

* * *

><p>"- spacing thirty metres apart – do you read me?"<p>

"_Yes, sir. Copy – thirty metres,"_

"Good, I want you to call on everyone. Brief summaries please – a simple yes or no, to any sightings. Understood?"

"_Understood,"_

Takuma clipped the walkie-talkie onto his jacket sleeve. There was none of this business of "over and out". Ridiculous. He was glad the transmissions were still clear. The person he'd been speaking to was the current temporary leader of the other side of their troop formation, overseeing things from the other side for him whilst Aidou stayed with him for the meanwhile.

It was bitingly cold in the dark. Now it was midnight, only the tiny moon lit their way – they'd only managed to gather the troops and march them to the castle, arriving late-evening to night time. Setting up their formation had taken time too. He puffed clouds of mist like a chain-smoker, and ran a warming hand over his freezing face. No doubt Aidou was barely pinched by this sort of cold, being the ice-master he was.

He turned to check on his co-troop-leader who was stood beside him. Once the reports were back, he'd send Aidou over to the opposite side of the castle perimeter. In the end, Takuma saw it being that he was the one slightly more in charge over Aidou too, and with the feisty younger one not protesting this arrangement, he chose to order Aidou to the side with the larger odd number of soldiers (also on the side towards the back of the castle. Aidou's team would be the back-up, whilst Takuma's team went directly into the front, really going in for the attack). That way each one of them could overlook a half of the troops moving in before them. He'd also told that half to keep an eye on their leader – for _what _they might be looking for, he hadn't specified. It was best if they didn't know about Aidou's self-made _hunger_. Luckily Aidou hadn't seemed to notice any of this at all.

Aidou looked ridiculously robotic – stood completely still, arms folded behind his back neatly. His face betrayed no emotions – none of his withdrawn pain, the agony which Takuma wasn't fooled for a second wracked the younger Vampire's body. Blood hunger was a terrible sensation. He was grudgingly impressed by his control over his body.

But still, how long could Aidou hold out? Even Takuma found himself reluctant to stay near him. He could smell the raw danger that emanated from his aura, licking the air with its desperate hunger for food – for blood. Takuma could almost see the red in Aidou's eyes. He was a coiled spring. He was dangerous – even to a friend, even to Takuma, and he had to be _watched_ for this reason. It still frightened Takuma, the idea that Aidou might lose control and attack the wrong side – their side – by mistake.

"You sure…" he began, catching Aidou's interest. Takuma suppressed a flinch when he saw his friend. Though Aidou's eyes weren't actually _red_, his pupils had dilated and now only a thin ring of bright, feverish blue outlined the dark, fathomless pits of hunger. Sweat made tendrils of hair cling to Aidou's forehead – plastered wetly, the blondeness was a dark copper. He gulped uneasily. "You sure you can do this? You want to go all the way over there-"

"Yes," Aidou interrupted, tilting his head to the side as if to say, _You think I can't handle myself?_

Takuma winced.

Aidou's fangs had elongated, so it was difficult for him to speak easily. He spoke now sparingly, and his "s's" sounded more like "eth's". A comical lisp, were it not for the current situation, he would have laughed.

Ever the worrier, he creased his eyebrows in an appropriate concerned-expression which usually convinced Shiki to reconsider his choices of seconds for pudding or cookies (or any food really. It mystified him as to where Shiki put it all).

"You'll be alright?" he pressed softly.

Usually at this point, Shiki's eyes would fall half-lidded in mock-exasperation, but his lips would curl into a contradictory grin, since he found Takuma's endless concern utterly amusing.

However.

This was not Shiki.

Aidou's darkened eyes lit – in a completely different contradiction – and his nostrils fumed in anger.

"_Of course_," he snarled, incredibly insulted by Takuma's persistence, he walked deliberately past Takuma in such a way where he bumped shoulders with him. Takuma winced at the force of that "knock" which was more like a full-out punch. He rubbed his shoulder – Aidou was definitely stronger. Was this the force of his hunger? If this wasn't even his peak strength, Aidou was in for a real shock when he got to the fighting for real.

He began to realise that Aidou was really _walking away_. As in, he was walking off into the distance, further than he had expected. He saw him walking past the soldier thirty metres down the perimeter, and **that** was when he realised Aidou wasn't planning on returning to him.

"Oi!" Takuma squawked, waving his arm over at him, "Where do you think you're going?" They hadn't even received the feedback yet. Takuma's leg muscles jolted when they instinctively made to follow Aidou, but he forced them to remain unmoving as stone.

He couldn't leave his post. Already he was on the side of the circle of their formation where the number of soldiers was less. He couldn't afford to leave his place.

The walkie-talkie chose that moment to crackle back to life.

He thumbed the button distractedly, pressing on it then. "Yes?"

"_They all say everything is currently A-okay,"_

"Great. Um. Aidou's in-coming. As in, he's coming there _right now_," he said tightly, eyeing his co-leader still striding angrily out of the distance where he could call him back. He cursed under his breath, releasing the button as he did so.

"_Already?"_

"I know. He's in a little bit of a mood. I suggest when he arrives, you leave. Immediately,"

"_Copy, sir,"_

Takuma grunted, squinting to see Aidou now. He was falling into the cover of the forest now. Takuma stood on the exposed side of the Hanadagi-Kuran territorial boundary. He wondered despairingly if Aidou, in his rage, was being careful to stay _off _the Hanadagi's grounds. If the occupants of the castle were alerted to their presence before they were ready, their attack would not work.

He turned back to the walkie-talkie.

"Tell me as soon as he is spotted. I want you to maintain your positions. Stay behind,"

"_Yes,"_

"Once my group have moved in, it will be your turn – or his turn, to lead your guys in – but _only_ if I call for you. You are primarily a back-up team,"

"_Roger_," This bloke was having _far_ too much fun with the walkie-talkie lingo. Takuma rolled his eyes.

"Lay off the jokes, soldier," he chastised him, "This isn't a game, and that thing in your hands isn't a toy,"

"_Yes sir,"_

Takuma nodded to himself, eyeing the last spot Aidou had disappeared into. He wished now that he hadn't angered him. It had just made Aidou that bit less stable than he already was. Shit.

This was not going to plan.

No matter. They were still in formation. Things were still under control.

"Have you seen-"

"_Team B leader spotted,"_

Takuma breathed a sigh of relief. Aidou sure moved fast when he was angry. Already he was on the other side!

"Excellent. Move out,"

"_Do I take the walkie-talkie?"_

Good question. He pondered Aidou's reliability. Was it best to leave communications in the hands of an incensed, starving Vampire who was likely to bark down angry cusses rather than relay situations sensibly to him? Or was it wiser to leave it in the hands of a sane, collected (if rather lackadaisical) soldier?

"Keep the 'talkie, soldier," he ordered, in the back of his mind he knew this might anger Aidou more. He may even get angry specifically at the soldier holding his 'talkie – "And get your ass out of there, pronto," he added quickly, letting a nervous chuckle out, "Or Aidou may get mad at _you_, and trust me, you don't want that,"

"_Gotcha. Getting my ass out of here,"_

Takuma chuckled again, this time amused by the soldier's upbeat cheerfulness, even despite the gravity of the situation. He remembered distinctly handing the device to the soldier, choosing the boy right off the bat. In hindsight… the soldier he had entrusted the walkie-talkie with _had _been little more than a boy. He'd been very young.

All of a sudden, his worry set in again.

"_Sir?_"

He snapped out of his musings, jabbing the button. "Yes? What's the problem?"

"_Not sure if it's a sighting. There might be something happening behind some bay windows on the upper floor,"_

Takuma's heart jolted. He tried to convince himself that it was quite possibly just Nori – who was the only Awakened Hanadagi member so far. Or it could even be… it could be…

"Keep an eye on that. Where's Team Leader B?"

There was a tense pause, where Takuma waited anxiously for the update.

He pressed the button, hoping it would nudge the soldier to pick up.

Nothing.

"Oi, soldier, do not ignore me. Pick up," he demanded, holding the button down a few seconds longer, till it blipped.

"…_si-…"_

He froze.

"Hello? Soldier?" at this moment Takuma distractedly wondered what the "soldier's" name really was, he'd not even asked him that before entrusting him with this responsibility. He'd been a Vampire soldier, and... The horrible thought flared in his mind – remembering the talk Kaname had given them about being wary of even the people in their army – many were still doubtful about which side their loyalties truly lay in.

What if this boy was a deserter? What if he was a traitor and had waited to take all this inside information back to Rido?

Takuma's stomach lurched. He suddenly felt sick.

"Soldier!" he barked, desperately punching the button repeatedly. Then his thumb blocked off a part of the soldier's response.

" – _came out! Sir, he's going inside! We couldn't stop him – __**shit**__! No, don't-!"_

"Soldier? What – what's going on?" he exclaimed, clutching the 'talkie with both hands. He didn't even realise that he hadn't pressed the button – his voice hadn't been transmitted. The soldier didn't even know he was listening.

"_- oh my God! Oh my God! Get back – stay! __**Sir!**__"_

"What is it? What is it?" Takuma practically screamed desperately, quickly motioning to the soldiers consecutively thirty metres either side of him, to get their attention. He watched them wave their arms at him, and turn to signal the others further along the line. He only realised then that he wasn't talking into the 'talkie – all this time he had been talking at it, not _into_ it. Fucking hell! The soldier hadn't received –

" – _shit, shit, shit! Sir? Where are you? Sir?"_

"I'm here!" Takuma snapped, pressing the button so tightly he could feel the plastic creak.

"_Oh, sir! He's gone inside the castle – we couldn't stop him!"_

"Who – Aidou?" _Of course it was Aidou_, he told himself. He signalled to his neighbour soldiers again that they were to prepare to go any second now. If Aidou had gone in already… he'd have to draw the castle's occupants' eyes back to himself. Aidou must be really mad to have run in like that. Completely _suicidal_. He wasn't in his right mind anymore - this proved it. He had finally given into his hunger.

"_Yes! We're going after him-"_

"Don't you dare, soldier!" he growled, "Hold. Stay where you are-"

"_Sir, he's all alone. We can't leave him. Already some have gone in after him, we're going in," _the soldier spoke in pants, as if he was already running. Takuma's stomach tightened in fear. Fear for his men. This soldier was no traitor, he knew that now, he was just some reckless kid. A boy – a child, who wanted to risk his life to save his leader. Foolish. Absolute mutiny to go against orders – but the boy was defiant, his desire to save Aidou was greater than his fear of punishment following, and he had to admire that - that _loyalty_.

Foolish.

Reckless.

"Get back to your post," he roared, shaking from fear, and the cold as the temperature dropped even further. Was that Aidou's influence? Was that his sudden loss of sanity puncturing the air with tiny bursts of coldness everywhere? "Soldier? Soldier! Answer me!"

He heard the crackle from the responding 'talkie. Then silence. He could just imagine the 'talkie falling onto the floor, abandoned by the boy soldier as he ran to the castle on the other side. The button slamming into the ground as it fell on its side, and then disconnecting once more.

Takuma shook his head, dropping his 'talkie too. He turned to peer at the distant castle, holding his hands together in front of him when he located the faint outline of the entrance in the darkness.

The time to act was now or never. Aidou could be in terrible danger right now, plus the soldiers who went after him –

He focused energy to his palms, enough to make them burn hotly. The edges of his long-sleeved shirts scorched, and he concentrated on focusing all the heat into a beam. Projecting it. Focus. _Focus_. Many a time he'd trained with Kaname, and the most important thing with his power of disintegration was to _**focus**_. And to **aim**. The reason for that was… well… _pretty _obvious…

**Focus**. Bring it out, slow. Take your time.

Takuma heard his best friend's voice ring in his ears, and suddenly, the energy burst from his fingertips.

Too soon! Too soon!

But there it was. There was a deep rumble as the vibrations in the air crackled and collapsed in on itself, and then there was a deafening **crack!**

Takuma looked up at Hanadagi Castle, just as the very foundations of it shook, and the entrance burst wide open. Too soon? Too **much** as well. He gaped in awe. He'd done that? He'd done that –

"Well!" he gasped. _Well... _"Oops?"

Well, now _that_ must be a real distraction, no?

Kaname couldn't ask for anything more.

From the corner of his eyes, he could already see his soldiers moving in. That blast had been the not-so-subtle signal to move. But who needed to be subtle when it was meant to be a distraction?

"Go! Go! Go!" he screamed, standing back to watch the figures emerge from the darkness, all running for the entrance. Vampires and Hunters, both running together, towards a fight they'd side together on…

Takuma glanced one last time at the fallen walkie-talkie, remembering the anonymous face of the boy soldier he'd spoken to, the final crazed image of Aidou he had in his mind…

And then, he ran.


	75. Accept Yourself

**Author's Note:**

**This chapter is dedicated to ben4kevin, for providing significant moral support to me. I've gotten the shakies, guys. A little blip which lost me some confidence in my writing, but it's all good now.**

**Does everyone mind if I focus on the other pairings a bit too? I'm so fond of them. Or would you rather I gloss over them and focus more on the KZ-ness? That's fine too. Their relationship is developing quite gradually, I think everyone has mentioned. I know. I understand your frustrations. But at the same time I feel like the slowness is more realistic. It would ruin things if Kaname went all lust-crazy and jumped Zero, yknow what I'm sayin? Hehe, though that thought IS yummy.**

**Yummy.**

**Remember – Zero has only recently accepted Kaname's friendship, and he's conflicted with his own identity. I don't think it makes sense that he'd be okay with Kaname humping him either. XD**

**Maybe, when the loving starts happening, it might feel more rewarding? Bear with me. They'll get there. **

* * *

><p>After Rima and Ichiru were left caring for the still-feverish Shiki, Ruka followed Yuuki out of the castle, wincing when they physically stepped out of the castle to the outdoors. Were they even <em>allowed<em> out of the castle? She couldn't remember what Kaname's instructions had been anymore. All she knew was that it was best if they kept quiet and got the job done quickly. If they got caught by Kaname, if he had some sort of sensor that detected them leaving, she'd pin the blame on Yuuki. It was as simple as that. Kaname would never harm Yuuki, so _she'd_ be okay (and Ruka, more importantly, would also be okay).

Yuuki said that she knew where her mother had hidden the Weapon, and it really _had_ been she who insisted they had to go outside. Ruka only hoped that if they really _did_ find the Weapon, that would appease Kaname's wrath and, if by then he'd discovered Kain's desertion, their find might impress him so much that it would divert his murderous intent _away_ from her stupid cousin too. She wanted Kain to be left to her, so she could beat his ass for herself. She would **really** show him how idiotic he had been for abandoning his post.

Oh, she was sure that Kaname would be _far_ too easy on Kain. After she was done, he'd really know the meaning of the word "pain".

Tch. Kain… get ready for **pain**.

No…in all honesty, Ruka was truly worried about her cousin. About both of them. The note before had been difficult to understand, and she honestly didn't have a clue about this "mission" Kaname had ordered Aidou and Takuma on. But just like Kain, her eyes had spotted the word "suicide" and her heart stopped. Though she read the note carefully again, understanding that Aidou was telling them he was certain it _wouldn't_ be a suicide mission, the very mentioning of such a word was just so _striking. _It somehow conveyed how perilous the mission really was. Knowing Kain, he wouldn't have bothered reading the note more than once – he'd _scan_ it. And he would have latched onto the word "suicide" – immediately thought: **Aidou's in danger**; and shot to his rescue like a bat out of hell.

Kain always panicked for Aidou. His heart had always belonged with –

Ruka's eyes snapped wide open.

– with **Aidou**.

…dear God, had she always been so _blind_? Or was she imagining things in thinking that Kain cared that bit **too **much about Aidou? She knew that Kain easily went into a protective craze over either her or Aidou, but… but she really didn't believe that Kain would be this distraught, were she in Aidou's place.

No. That wasn't fair… Kain _would_ be distraught, and he probably _would _also race to her rescue, like he was for Aidou.

She just didn't believe… that he would _lose it_, in quite the same spectacular way as he had with Aidou. The ripped pieces of the note had the faint scent of smoke on them, and when she squinted at the edges, she could just pick out a faint crisp black outline where the edges had been singed – he had a terrible temper. On top of that, the past few days without Aidou, Kain had completely changed demeanour. He was just not the same without him by his side.

Only Aidou could do that to him.

Without Aidou, Kain wasn't himself.

Ruka's fingers tightened around the book, but not in jealousy or anger. A truly beautiful, jubilant smile rose to her full lips, and Ruka felt like she was glowing with happiness. If this discovery, this conclusion she had come to was correct, then…

Her two most precious people were in –

She was tugged back to reality as Yuuki yanked on her hand insistently, pulling her through an utterly haphazard garden. She barely registered the mad colours of the myriad of flowers coalescing together in utter _insanity_. Ruka couldn't get rid of the ridiculously bright smile on her face. It was _perfect_. So wonderful! How could she not have spotted this sooner?

Now that she looked at them, her beloved cousins, she could almost pick out the red thread tying their fingers together (metaphorically, of course). Was she getting ahead of herself? She didn't think so!

Fire and ice. Polar opposites – one calm, the other excitable. One mature, the other childish… they were opposites, and as cliché as it sounded – opposites attract!

Oh, how wonderful! Euphoric tears sprung to her eyes, but they didn't sting. She was just so _thrilled_. Truly. It just made her so joyous to think that, she must be the first person to notice this! Not even Kain, being the idiot that he was, had recognised his feelings. Nor Aidou, the idiot that he was too (despite being a classified genius), was able to identify these feelings…

This was where a girl came in handy. Girls just _knew_ things, like this. She could just _tell_.

Ruka couldn't help but inwardly sigh, like a true theatrical romantic. What were the chances? If a couple of boneheaded dumbasses like those two could fall in love… perhaps someday, she could find love too?

Psha. Here she was, pondering her chances at love like some lonesome old maid –

"Here it is,"

Ruka coughed, covering her excited giggles with one hand, wiping back tears with the other. And when she opened her eyes and took in a deep calming breath, **that** was when she was hit by a striking scene that was all-too familiar. Her lungs were filled with the sweet scent of the thousands of deep red roses, and her eyes took in their voluminous abundance which encompassed the garden space fully. She spun around, eyes lighting on the infamous circular pool in the centre. Beautiful.

This was Juri's garden.

Of course.

She wasn't surprised in the slightest when Yuuki led her over to the pergola, releasing her hand and going to stand by its side. When Yuuki reached to open the gated door latch, Ruka decided to speak then.

"It won't work,"

Yuuki turned to frown at her, placing her hands on her hips determinedly, "I've heard about the legends and rumours about this, Ruka-chan. I _know_ that no one has ever been able to get to my mother's special garden. But right now, I really think we _need_ to try. I'm sure she must be able to tell how desperate we are, wherever she is… she'll let us into her inner garden, I know it!"

"Yuuki," she sighed, walking over to place a comforting hand on the petite girl's shoulder, "I've tried getting to it. So have Kain, Takuma, Aidou and Kaname. None of us have managed it. I don't mean to be discouraging, but I doubt you can either, especially since your _brother_ didn't manage to get there-"

"We have to try!" Yuuki repeated, shaking her hand off. The elfin girl unlatched the gate and yanked it open, the rusted hinges squeaking and shuddering in protest. As the passageway was opened, a gust of wind blew into their faces, carrying a sweet, refreshing scent. In the darkness of the night, Ruka felt that the only thing she could relate that smell to was _moonlight_. Or _moonshine_. Something you could imagine being refreshing and sweet.

Ruka caught Yuuki's hand as she took a step inside, and she pinched her lips as Yuuki threw an annoyed glance at her. She tugged Yuuki back, turning the girl and sternly looking down at her. Yuuki's long hair whipped around her face, and it made Ruka's breath catch in her throat. Yuuki looked so much like her mother. Like her lovely idol, Queen Juri…

Maybe Yuuki was right? Maybe finally Juri would allow someone into her precious garden. The likelihood of her letting Yuuki in, above all, was most probable.

But there was something that told Ruka that she would not be successful, that like all of them, Yuuki would wander for what felt like hours in the endless tunnel of green till her legs ached and her heart was weary and broken. Juri's pergola was just as much a challenge for the heart and mind as it was for the body. Many people became lost and consequently lost hope of ever being found; they drove themselves into wild hysteria, though when they decided to turn around and try to get back – they would find the trip back much shorter than the walk to there, barely taking more than minutes in comparison to their journey there. The pergola disappointed the people who had known Juri best – it made them question themselves: _Why can't I get there? Didn't Juri trust me?_

It hurt to think that Juri didn't even trust her precious people with her special inner garden. Even Kaname had to endure the bitter end of failure, and on his return he hadn't spoken to any of his friends at all. Juri was his _mother_. It must have broken his faith in her, it must have struck him deeply, hurting him and shaming him to know that he was on equal grounds with outsiders. Kept out of her secrets, for lack of trust? Of love?

Now that Yuuki was chancing herself with this futile test, Ruka didn't think she could bear to see her walk out of the pergola heartbroken for the woman – the mother she had always silently loved. But Yuuki was so delicate – when Ruka looked at her right now, she couldn't help but agree with Kaname that her heart was too soft and pure to be hurt in this way, especially if it was her own mother who betrayed her love. Juri had adored Yuuki, so if there was ever a chance, it would be Yuuki who would reach the end. But the risks of her _not _getting there…

"Yuuki, I don't want to see you get hurt," she admitted.

But Yuuki hissed, shaking off the other hand Ruka tried to lay on her, "Let _go_, I'll be fine!"

"No you won't," Ruka insisted, curling her arms under Yuuki's and easily lifting the girl, carrying her over to the other side of the garden with Yuuki kicking at her rather half-heartedly, "You need to think, Yuuki, f you fail. If you don't reach the end, how will you be? Your own mother sealed this garden shut from the world. If even _you_ can't reach it-"

"I'll walk forever if I have to – I _will_ reach the end!" the fire in Yuuki's eyes burned with fortitude, which Ruka couldn't help but admire in her little friend.

It must be Zero's spitfire attitude rubbing off on Yuuki.

Maybe…maybe she was underestimating Yuuki's tenacity. The girl was resilient, she had to admit. Perhaps exposing her to this might be good for her in the long run…

"Yuuki, listen to me," she spoke tenderly, rubbing at Yuuki's reddened cheeks, "You will wander for hours in there, or at least it will _feel_ like hours. Lost and alone – because even if I follow you, we will be parted in the maze – you will walk and walk and walk and never find the end. It will be tiring and depressing, every step bringing you no further than where you were last. The end will forever be out of your reach. It really… I don't want to see it break your spirit, my friend,"

"R-Ruka…" Yuuki trembled, struggling to glare at Ruka with the right ferocity, "Please, let me go!"

"I will," Ruka relented, releasing her, "Just remember this – remember what we read in your mother's diary – she wanted to seal the garden so that **you** would not suffer exposure from the Weapon. Is it right to go against that wish? Think about that. I will be waiting out here for you, to comfort you when you realise that what I've said is true,"

Yuuki shook Ruka off her, defiantly marching to the entrance of the pergola. Her fingers brushed the metal gated door and she stepped one foot inside. Just then, she stopped.

"R-Ruka?"

"I'm here," Ruka soothed, walking over to her side, "I'll wait here for you here. I promise,"

"Can you talk to me? While I'm out there?" her voice shook with emotions Ruka couldn't name.

She thought back, remembering her own adventure in the pergola, many years ago. She'd gone in holding both Aidou and Kain's hands, running into the green corridor. She lost track of time, and she'd lost her friends a few minutes in, their fingers slipping apart. Soon enough she was so tired and frightened and lonely that she stopped running. It was so quiet –

"You won't hear me," she answered. "I can remember how quiet it was in there. No sounds penetrate it, as far as I'm aware,"

– and she was so, so _scared_. Her voice was hoarse from screaming for either one of her cousins to come save her. Eventually, she'd given up, turned around and hurried back. In a fraction of the time she'd been running, she found herself tumbling out of the pergola, falling into her friends. Sound exploded out of nowhere, like her head had been under water and she'd suddenly been yanked out into a world where sound wasn't muffled. Aidou and Kain were already back, and they welcomed her with their warm arms wide open.

"What will I see?"

When Ruka returned to her cousins, they'd said she'd only been seconds behind them, even though she hadn't seen them cross her path at all.

"Greenery. Plants. Nothing much," Ruka shrugged, "The end will never come near you though. It will tease you, sometimes I think it's a trick of your mind that you will think it nearer. But it will never be reachable. I think your mother was saving it for someone special. Something she wrote said…I think she's saving it for someone in particular to reach it,"

"Who?"

"Heaven knows," Ruka laughed softly. "If only we did,"

"Then… _couldn't_ it be me?" Yuuki blushed hotly, chagrined by what could be seen as an arrogant implication, "I mean…it _could_ be me, couldn't it?"

Ruka nodded thoughtfully, but not too encouragingly. She didn't have a good feeling about this.

"Then if there's a chance, why not take it?" Yuuki asked, swelling with new confidence, or was that hope? "If we never try, we'll never know,"

"True, I suppose," Ruka consented, giving Yuuki a little push towards the pergola, "Go on then. Have a go,"

Yuuki stared back at her anxiously, cautiously glancing into the dark passageway. Right now it looked so dark and foreboding. The sweet smell drew her towards it though, like a beacon.

"I'll be right here," she heard Ruka say at the back of her mind, and with that little piece of comfort to hang onto, Yuuki took off at a sprint into the tunnel.

Minutes, no… barely a full minute later, Yuuki collapsed out of the tunnel, sobbing softly into her hands, muffling her cries.

She fell into Ruka's waiting arms.

* * *

><p>"Hmm…"<p>

A warmth on his stomach was pressing into him, rubbing him in a manner which made him want to fall into sleep again, but at the same time roused him from his peaceful slumber. What a strange contradiction.

Blearily, Zero began to blink awake.

"…please, wake up. You need to wake up now,"

A low, smooth voice…

The warmth on his stomach was matched by an identical warmth that rested on his forehead for a few moments, then he felt fingers run through his hair tenderly, and he really blinked awake this time.

Of course, it was Kaname. He really shouldn't have been surprised, but he was.

"K-Kan-"

"Yeah, I'm sorry," Kaname said with an apologetic smile, withdrawing both warm hands from him. Zero shuddered from the loss and – finding his body suddenly working, (as in, it was _moving_) he sat up slowly. This shook off the last remnants of sleep, though he snapped his jaws with a yawn. With his head still full of the fog of sleep, he barely registered the small amused chuckle from behind him.

"Are you awake now?" a jovial voice asked him, jolting him even more into consciousness. Zero whipped around with an uncivilised grunt, eyes widening at the _sudden appearance_ of Kaname lying beside him. He flushed hotly, seeing the covers fall from Kaname's bare shoulders onto his lap.

"Kaname?" he mumbled, running a hand over his face. He still felt the residual heat on his forehead and stomach. Kaname's eyes followed these movements distractedly.

"Sorry to wake you, but we've been sleeping for two hours already. It's time we get up and check up on the others again,"

Two full hours? _Slacker_, he thought sarcastically, but still, Zero nodded, snapping his neck to the right and left and rolling his shoulders so they cracked too. He noticed Kaname watching him patiently, and couldn't help but flush again. There was something off about the Pureblood – hold on. Why was Kaname half-naked? Oh god. He sure _hoped_ he was only _half-_naked and not _fully_ naked under those sheets.

"Kaname, what are you – why are you… where is your shirt?" he babbled before his mind could catch up with his mouth. Heat flared in his face when he realised what he had said.

Kaname looked just as bewildered as he felt, and rather comically patted down his own naked chest, as if he was checking that – yes – there was only skin there. No shirt.

"Um… well I always sleep without a shirt," he acknowledged, rubbing his neck almost… self-consciously? Was he really self-conscious about his body? _Seriously_? "I feel more comfortable like this,"

"Hmm," Zero nodded, shuffling around to cross his legs – his legs. Why were they bare? Why could he feel the sheets rub against them? Zero ducked under the covers and gasped. He was half-naked _too_. He was just in his boxers… "_Kaname_," he yelped this time, rising to glower at the Pureblood, "Where are my _trousers?_"

Kaname recognised his threatening tone and cracked a hesitant smile, "I… well… I took them off-"

"You _what_?" Zero roared, jerking the covers over his body (even though his bare legs weren't even in view in the first place) feeling understandably violated of his privacy, "You… _why_?"

"You don't like sleeping with trousers on. Your legs get too hot under all the layers. Usually you try to kick any fabrics off you in the night, so I removed them for you to save you the hassle,"

"H-How did you-"

"How do I know?" Kaname asked, tilting his head good-naturedly to the side in the fashion one would tip their top-hat, "Dear one, why do you think I know this? It's obvious – I have known you for long enough to know your habits,"

Ah.

Zero realised exactly what he meant – Isamu. Kaname was back to his delusions that **he** was Isamu.

"When you were little, you always used to complain about it being too hot-"

"Please don't,"

Kaname hummed questioningly, his eyes fastening on Zero's carefully constructed neutral expression. He must have been able to see something else in Zero's face because the happiness slowly drained from his face, replaced by sadness, and then apprehension.

"Don't say that," Zero repeated, holding his hand up as Kaname made to speak, "I don't… I don't want you calling me by _his_ name. I am Zero, please believe m-"

"Yes, I believe you. You are Zero,"

When Zero turned back to look at Kaname, he was surprised to see him smiling agreeably, albeit rather less brightly again. The Pureblood nodded again when their eyes met again, saying in a deliberately slow way, "You're Zero. I _know_ that,"

"Then why do you…" he bit his lip, "Why have you been calling me _Isamu_?" the name stung, for a reason he couldn't explain. It was bitter on his tongue as it left his mouth. Isamu. The one he was descended from. The one he was supposedly a reincarnation of.

The one Kaname thought he was (or hoped he was).

He watched Kaname's careful smile disintegrate again, and though his face was blank, it wasn't one of his recognisable "masks". His face was just unreadable – a stagnant storm of too many emotions to name. Zero didn't expect to see Kaname shrug so nonchalantly.

"I'm sorry," he said, in the same way a child would apologise for saying a bad word, "It was a mistake. Don't… don't think on it too much,"

"No," Zero countered, twisting to face Kaname properly, "Don't _you dare _drop this. _You think_ that I'm Isamu. You've said it before, admit it,"

Kaname sighed and held up his hands in a placating manner, "I can see that this bothers you, so I won't call you 'Isamu' anymore. Anyway, as I said – it was a mistake -"

"You just told me I'm his reincarnation before! You _just_ told me I was in denial! Who's the one in denial now?" Zero spat, lunging forwards in frustration. He shuddered as his head spun with the movement. Head-rush… "Look," he groaned, stumbling out of the bed (almost falling with his legs tangled in the sheets), "Can we both just accept that I'm **Zero**. I'm sorry to say it, but Isamu's dead (he tried to ignore Kaname's flinch), so can I trust you to not treat me like **him**?" _like I'm your __lover__ or something,_ he contemplated uneasily.

"Of course," the Pureblood nodded, gentlemanly as ever, sliding right to the other side of the bed to him. There was a good, comfortable distance between them now, "I will treat you the same as I have always tried to treat you,"

"Good," Zero smiled gratefully (a tiny smile, mind). He quickly whipped the covers off the bed when he noticed the breeze on his _bare legs_. God, if there was one thing that Zero hated about his body (everyone hated at least _one thing_ about their body), it was his legs. Long, skinny and white – hideous. He hid them, shooting an aggravated look at Kaname. But Kaname wasn't even paying him any attention anymore. He was staring off, his brows pinched in a disturbed expression. "Hey," he called, finding no response. Zero cleared his throat loudly, "_Hey_," and this time Kaname jolted out of his stupor, humming to Zero in response. This bothered the Hunter. Kaname was acting very withdrawn. Even though he wasn't naturally the most outgoing, talkative person, he was notably even less-so than he usually was. "What's up?" Zero found himself asking, before he could reconsider that Kaname was just acting as he always did. He had no way of knowing how Kaname woke usually – so maybe he was just not naturally a "_waking-up person_".

Kaname pulled another mask over his face, one that Zero wasn't quite as familiar with – a mask of fake cheerfulness – one where his smile was a tad too wide, and there was no sparkle to match it in his eyes. Usually if Kaname was going to hide his emotions from someone, he would whip up the good old "stoic" mask. This change struck Zero as odd.

"I'm fine," the King said calmly, sliding off the mattress adroitly, barely making the springs twang. He began rifling through his drawers for a shirt, Zero watching him all the while with annoyance clearly written across his face. Did he think he was stupid or something? How stupid must he think he was, that he thought that he would leave him at that?

"Bullshit," Zero stated so eloquently. He scanned the room for his trousers, "Hey, where are my-"

A soft pair of clean khaki slacks was tossed to him, and a fresh shirt too. He grunted in thanks, biting the shirt in his mouth as he slid into the trousers quickly under the cover of the duvet. As he was changing his shirt, he spoke again.

"There's something bothering you," he insisted, rolling up the sleeves of the new shirt. He looked over, seeing Kaname now running his hands through his ruffled hair in a poor attempt to tame it. "Look, we're friends now, aren't we? I'm not going to force you to spill whatever it is that's bothering you, but-"

"Zero, I'm fine," Kaname's cheerful-mask became disgustingly fake, "Really-"

"Shut up. You can't fool me with that stupid face," Zero spat, marching over to Kaname's side. He glowered up at him, "What's troubling you?"

"Nothing-"

"Don't say it's nothing! Look, you're one of the most stoic people I know. Usually you keep everything under wraps, but just now you seriously looked like you were, I dunno, in _pain_-"

"Yes, well…" Kaname replied tightly, his eyes shifting to the side. "Now isn't the time. Leave it. Please," his eyes were begging for him to drop it, "We _really_ should go now,"

Zero huffed, annoyed from being slighted by Kaname, but he nodded, painful trembles wracking his body when the dizziness returned with this movement. Somehow, his head felt too heavy for his neck to support. The movement of nodding made his brain feel like it was swimming around, knocking against the back of his head and the back of his eyes, which made his vision blurry. "Whoa…"

"Zero?" In an instant there were Kaname's arms wrapped around his shoulders. Steadying and warm. Zero sucked in a breath of relief when his gravity settled again, and he reached up to rub circles into his temples tenderly.

"It's nothing. Just a little headache,"

He let Kaname take his wrist and lead them out of the room. The tight grip on his wrist was like an anchor to life at that very moment, because Zero was too stubborn to admit that in all honesty, he was _not_ alright. His head was swimming, and pain flared with the movements of walking rocked his brain back and forth, back and forth in his head. Pain. Pain. Pain. It was a throbbing sort of pain, like being bruised –

Of course. The blood-war inside him was still ongoing.

Just when he got this revelation, a sharp pain erupted in his gut, and Zero crashed to his already bruised knees with a small yelp.

Kaname simply wasn't fast enough to catch him. So he was forced to endure jolts of electric stinging pain shot up from his knee joints, trembling through his femurs and dissipating through the rest of his body. Zero gritted his teeth, hissing while Kaname hauled him back to standing by hooking his hands under his armpits. On his feet, his legs were still wobbly and bent weakly under his unsupported weight, subsequently arms were wound around him to secure him to Kaname's more stable body. He swore loudly as the jolts, like an extreme imitation of pins-and-needles, shot up and down his shaking legs unrelentingly, little sparks of what felt like electricity hitting a few of his muscles too. On top of it all, the unending ache of bruising.

"Fucking-!"

Kaname tutted, tilting Zero backwards a little to peer down at him with disapproval, his eyes clouding with concern when he took in Zero's panting breaths and nose scrunched up in pain, "Who's the one saying '_it's nothing'_ now?" he ran a hand over the side of Zero's face, wincing from the temperature of it. _Scorching_. And then Kaname saw the tendril of a new bruise snaking over Zero's jaw, slowly, edging towards his ear. He sighed in comprehension. If it continued, it would meet the small, but expanding bruise on Zero's temple. "Oh Zero…"

"Stop it, I'm fine!" Zero struggled, hissing through his teeth like a cat. But his struggles only made his torture worsen, as it jostled his fiery joints and made his brain throb and roll about his skull. He let out a stifled cry, thrashing wildly as the pain became concurrent with every single movement he made.

"Calm down! Peace, Zero," Kaname hushed him, bending down smoothly to hook an arm under Zero's knees. As he began walking back to his room, Zero predictably began to protest, but Kaname would not be swayed. In fact, he looked like he wasn't listening to Zero at all. This quietened Zero, when he realised he wasn't being heard. Kaname was staring in front of him, and he opened his door with his mind, swiftly taking Zero back to the bed and lowering him into it. When Zero made to escape him, Kaname caged him in, both with his arms and his steely eyes, "_You will stay here_," he ordered, his voice echoing strangely in Zero's head. For a few seconds he waited, almost as if he was waiting for a response, so Zero gave him a grunt of assent. Satisfied, Kaname leant back, a frown appearing on his face, "I'm sorry. I should have remembered about your blood… problem. It isn't good for you to be moving around when you're in a state like this," then came the words Zero was dreading: "I want you to stay here-"

"Kaname, come on," Zero panted, clawing at the mattress in panic, "I just need a few minutes to catch my breath. My headache's gone-"

"Headache? That would mean it's your brain-"

"_Kaname_," Zero almost whined, reaching over to touch Kaname's sleeve beseechingly. His fingers slipped, sliding across the back of Kaname's hand instead, "Trust me, I'm fine,"

Kaname eyed him uncertainly, crossing his arms in silent contemplation as he watched Zero struggled to steady his breathing and relax his body. Within a minute, his breathing had levelled again (though his breaths were a little raspy) and he bent and unbent his legs, finding them working fine again, though there was still a little twinge (but he wasn't going to tell Kaname that). He was eyed speculatively for a whole other minute (considered doing a few crunches, just to show Kaname how fit and healthy he was again), _and then_ Kaname nodded a little.

"Alright," he said slowly, scowling (only slightly) as Zero simultaneously began to smile, "I suppose… you can come. But if I see, even once – even for a _second_, that you're looking unwell, you'll be returned to bed immediately. And don't even try to fake good health, Zero. I can tell when someone's acting phony,"

"So can _I_," the Hunter countered, levelling Kaname with an even glare. He still wanted to know what caused the slip in Kaname's flawlessly impenetrable "stoic" exterior. Kaname's mouth snapped shut, and he turned away, leaving Zero feeling strangely disappointed.

"Not now," was all he said, casting a striking image as his body tensed, stretching his muscles taut, his shoulders flat, so his whole stance became upright and rigid – like a statue. "Rest. We'll go in a few minutes, alright?" When Kaname's head suddenly moved, turning to look over the room; there was some vague yet distinct similarity to another time struck Zero, and again, he was thrown back to another time–

"_-name? Kaname are you alright?" from this position, cross-legged on the floor, he could only see the profile of Kaname's stony face by craning his head right back. The white moonlight painted his skin marble white and carving him out like a statue in the night. It was so very _cold_. Isamu hated it when Kaname drifted off like this, hiding himself behind a blank mask. He always hid his worried and fears from him, because ultimately, Kaname refused to "burden" a _child_ with such things. But Isamu didn't care about that. He was the only one Kaname talked to, so if Kaname didn't talk to him about his troubles, who else would he turn to? "Kaname, please,"_

"_Hush, dear one. I promise you I am well," the statue spoke, turning with a rather spurious bright smile. Isamu pouted, lunging for Kaname's long coat tail but instead catching the tips of his fingers which were hung loosely behind it. _

"_Tell me," the stubborn little boy insisted, tugging at his caught fingers, "You can't fool me with that face,"_

_Kaname sighed, shooting a fond but exasperated smile at Zero, a real smile this time, no matter how jaded it was by the slight off look in his eyes. "You're far too young-"_

"_I am not. I am your only friend, so if you don't talk to me, you will keep this to yourself forever,"_

_The smile twisted, revealing a rather grim expression on Kaname's face, as he swirled around and crouched to face Isamu properly. But as he faced Isamu, the bitterness fell from his face, and a kinder, warmer smile slanted on his lips._

"_That's what I intend to do, Isa-chan. I will keep it to myself forever if need be. Soon enough, you'll be all grown up, and then you'll have your own worries to deal with," he paused, with his brow unintentionally creasing. This was what gave away an inkling of a clue as to what was troubling Kaname. It was a common fixture in both their minds, something they were acutely aware of always – the fact that whilst he was ageing, Kaname remained very much the same. Even though he was still quite small, his milk teeth had all gone and he was gaining inches on the wall – "So whilst you're young, it wouldn't be right for me to burden you with mine,"_

– "Oh, I almost forgot,"

"Hmm?" Zero sat up.

_He's distracting me._

Kaname strode over to the night stand. Zero couldn't see what he was looking for in the drawers, he could just hear the scrape of the wood against wood drawers and them knocking against the back of the stand.

_He doesn't want to tell me what's wrong, because he thinks it might trouble me. _

When he returned to Zero's side, he was holding something in his hands that he had not expected.

It was a black crown, the metal ring of it gleaming dark silver, studded with what looked like black diamond gems. Somehow, he could tell that it was very old, like an antique, and there was a sheen of dust on it, but apart from that it was in excellent condition. As he was handed it, the metal warmed under his hands, and the frame of the ring seemed to shift, even as he ran his fingers over it, he could sense it moulding. Strange as it sounded, he thought the crown smelt _delicious_. He almost dropped it in shock, overwhelmed by the eccentricity and prominence of the rather simple crown.

"Don't," a guiding hand moved to hold the crown from underneath to support it in his hands, and when he maintained his grip on it, the hand left, "It's just remembering you. It's yours, you know, you should be careful with it,"

"It's mine?" Zero gasped, whipping his head up in disbelief. Kaname smiled dubiously, as though his question was folly,

"Of course," the Pureblood tilted his head curiously, and then gently took the crown from Zero's limp fingers, "If you want, you can keep it here. It will be safe,"

"Al…okay,"

The crown was returned to the night stand, and then Kaname came by again, this time holding his hands out for Zero to take, which he did. This time when they left the room, they walked at a more comfortable pace for Zero, and even though the world was still swirling slightly in his eyes, he was doing a good job of hiding this fact from Kaname. As they walked, Zero thought back on what Kaname had said. The crown… was his? Where had it come from?

He tried to recall ever seeing a crown like it before, but drew a blank, because – where would you ever encounter a crown like that? It looked like it cost the world! (He was exaggerating, but it definitely looked expensive). It was no ordinary crown, for sure. He had felt it shift and change shape and size, right under his own fingertips! That… the only thing he could compare _that_ to was… was at the Coronation. When Kaname made his own crown.

"Kaname, that crown…"

"Hmm?" Kaname squeezed his fingers, to let him know he was listening.

"…oh _God_," Zero gasped, suddenly remembering – that crown. It was _Kaname _who had made it. In the cave, just after he drew the stone coffin over Isamu, he'd traced a line of blood across his forehead –

_He touched his fingers to Isamu's forehead, the blood on his fingertips dribbled onto it. Clumsily, he painted a line across his forehead. The blood on his fingers mixed with the rock, plucking the natural crystals in the rock and bringing them to the surface. Soon he was looking at a dark, black crown, inset into the stone._

– and made a crown from his own blood.

"What is it? Are you feeling unwell?"

Zero blinked himself back to the present time, struggling to comprehend the fact that _that_ crown was _his_ crown. Kaname had just given the crown he'd made for Isamu to him and said it was _**his**_.

"It's Isamu's crown, isn't it?" he exclaimed, pulling them to a stop. He flinched, seeing the same disturbed look cross Kaname's face. That expression sent shivers crawling under his skin.

"It's _yours_ now,"

"I can't accept it. It's not -"

"Look, Zero, I know it's difficult for you to accept everything right now, but I'll give you something to think about," Kaname snapped, startling Zero by his sudden change in behaviour, "Think back to when you were shown **our** Memories, by the Rose Shield. Rido dipped both my _and_ **your** blood into the water before you drank it. That means the Memories you saw should belong to…?"

_Me_, Zero realised, _the Memories can only be mine if I saw them. _Was that what Kaname was suggesting? That this was some proof that he was Isamu reborn? It was as close as he could get to a pure DNA match with him, in a sense. It was close to scientific proof… so it was difficult to question it.

"You have to take it. It's yours – Isamu is _your_ past," Kaname concluded, grabbing Zero and whirling them back on track down the corridor (his grip was soft though), "Come on, we have to tell the others what we've found,"

"We've found _nothing_,"

"Exactly, but at least we can see what _they_ might have fou- hey, is that Rima?" Kaname had stopped them walking again. Zero could smell the waft of various foods in the air, which told him they were near the kitchens. He peered down the side-corridor Kaname was staring at and caught sight of a blur of long limbs and white hair.

At first, he found himself thinking: _Isamu_.

Ridiculous. He chided himself for being so stupid. These flashbacks were really messing with him…

Zero gasped and clutched Kaname's hand urgently, "That's Ichiru too! _Ichiru!"_

The distant figure had already disappeared around the corner which blocked him from view, but just as always, Ichiru obediently returned, popping his head around the corner. His body followed, and then he ran up the corridor towards them, "Nii-chan!"

"Ichiru," Zero caught his brother's propelled body like it had the weight of a freight train. He almost fell right back into the wall, but Kaname threw a quick arm to steady his back, and he found his feet again. "Ichiru, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," he answered quickly, and to both their surprise, Ichiru shot a rather hostile glare at Kaname, though it was layered under a reasonably polite, neutral expression, "Kuran," he nodded to him.

Kaname ignored his hostility, not knowing how it had been provoked, "Ichiru-kun," he nodded back, "Was that Rima that I saw with you?"

Ichiru nodded, "Toya-san and I were getting ice for Shiki-san,"

"I see," Kaname didn't look impressed, "She _does_ understand that my orders were to keep you in the same area as Yuuki?"

The Hunter's expressionless face cracked a little, and Zero was astounded to see Ichiru's temper bubbling to the surface like molten lava. "**I** am free to walk around where I want to,"

Kaname's cold expression softened a little, but he remained firm, "The only reason for my orders were to keep you safe,"

"Even so, I do not follow your orders," Ichiru countered, tugging a mischievous smirk on his lips, "And Toya-san has kept me quite safe, anyway,"

By this time, Rima had doubled back, realising her charge was not beside her. She had sprinted around, following the sounds of voices and located them. Her cheeks were red upon meeting Kaname's half-disapproving stare. The Pureblood didn't look too angry, but she could tell he was not pleased either. She bowed politely, "Kaname-sama,"

'_Kaname-__**sama**_' was used for when she was trying to get in his good graces again, when she had not followed his orders, or failed them.

"Rima," he greeted her coolly, but at the same time with a strange mix of fondness. She sighed a little. He wasn't too angry at her. "May I ask where Yuuki is?"

Her mouth opened and closed several times, flapping like a drowning fish. He eyed her dubiously, a niggling nugget of fear beginning to grow in the pit of his stomach. The seconds ticked by, with the tension between Kaname and Rima growing steadily. Finally they heard Ichiru clear his throat, and he looked meaningfully at her, shooting a particularly enlightening glance at her pocket. Rima gasped, turning back to them, her pigtails whipping her face.

"Kaname-sama! There's news," she announced, brandishing the pieces of the message and scrambling to fit them together. Kaname took them from her and smoothed them out calmly, somehow managing to press them flatly to his hand so they stuck in a readable form, "News from Aidou and Takuma. We didn't understand it-"

"Why is the message ripped?"

He had read the message quickly and transferred the pieces to his pocket.

Her mouth flapped a couple times again, before she forced herself to speak again. How was she going to explain that Kain had abandoned his orders too? Kain's disobedience was even worse, because he had _completely _left them, and they could only guess where he might be. His actions could even be seen as an act of betrayal - desertion. Another danger was Kain blowing the whole mission by barging in to "save" his Aidou.

She shifted on her feet, but knew that it was best to tell Kaname their suspicions quickly. Already she could see his frustration with her dithering mounting.

"Ah… Kaname-sama, we… there's something we need to tell you…"


	76. What Fear Does To Me PART 1

**Author's Note:**

**thanks for the awesome reviews guys! youre the best! i love that you guys dont mind me expanding on the other pairings. to me, theyre just as important. i'd hate for them to be shoved to the side.**

**btw, this chappie is continuing onto the next one. i looked at the length of this one and thought "nah, i'd better chop it" so ive chopped it, and the next half will be coming shortly. so things that are confusing here will be explained then. **

**kk, good reading everyone!**

**puui x**

* * *

><p>One of the things that Aidou truly admired in Kain was his incredible strength. It was something you'd notice first upon meeting such a giant like him. Though both the Aidou and Kain family lines seemed to share a particular "fat gain" gene (which the both of them often complained about), the fear of weight-gain had pushed Kain to take on a vigorous exercise regime, which in turn built the muscle which bulked up his long-limbed frame. You couldn't help but admire his powerful physique, which frightened away attackers and generally demanded a certain sort of respect.<p>

This was the reason for the vast difference between the two cousins' body types – Kain was tall, broad-shouldered, muscular; meanwhile Aidou was relatively short in comparison, slender (or scrawny) and… lacked any visible musculature ("spaghetti-noodle arms" was what Kain affectionately called him sometimes… and then he would be brutally smacked for it).

That wasn't to say that Aidou didn't know how to fight, or that he was a _bad_ fighter, or that he was _weak_. It just meant that, whilst Aidou's strongest punch might knock you out and give you bad concussion, Kain's strongest punch could fracture your skull/bone or even _**kill**_ you. Aidou had no doubts that Kain could kill a person with only his bare hands. In the last War alone, during one of the battles one enemy almost managed to kill him with a well-aimed blow to his trachea, almost cracking it… Kain had gone berserk. He literally sprang in and quite cheerfully (and creepily) ripped the guy limb to limb, all whilst keeping his crazy protective eye on Aidou, who had been spluttering and coughing pitifully on the bloody floor.

Kain wasn't just physically strong, but also emotionally secure. He was reliable. He was a rock. Which was why both Aidou-chichi and Souen-chichi trusted Kain so much to protect and keep an eye on their children. He was responsible and brave and faced his own fears with absolute determination to overcome them. There was no way he'd ever be beaten by his fears. He worked his way past them in whatever way he could manage, and always succeeded as a result.

Compared to Kain, Aidou just felt… pathetic.

He distinctly remembered the day when he had faced Rido, during the last War. All of his phobias (like his fears of dogs, spiders etc.) were negated by that one meeting. Nothing could ever bring him close to being as terrified as he had been facing Kuran Rido. Like his own ice, he had been literally frozen – in fear. It was only for a few seconds that he had been paralyzed, before forcing himself to spring into action, to distract him from Yuuki (he'd been entrusted with her protection). But by the time he'd shaken out of his stupor, Rido already had the upper hand, and, were it not for (surprisingly/annoyingly enough) _Zero's_ timely intervention, he would have definitely been killed.

Still, he could not shake himself from the trauma from his ordeal. He knew Kaname was their fair and whole-heartedly compassionate leader, but even then, he could not forget how destructive the power of a Pureblood could be. Over the last year, part of his respect for Kaname had reluctantly turned into irrational fear. The memories of the whole event itself were hazy, but he was quite sure that this was because Rido must have muddled with his mind, or erased his memories from then. However he was still left with some peculiarly shaped cut wounds which told him that during the time lapse, Rido had _tasted_ his blood – he hadn't Bitten him yet, but the cut marks showed that he must have been building himself an appetite for Aidou's blood. The cuts had been cut by a "bleeding knife" (something used to bleed someone, in the instance where the one feeding didn't wish to Bond with the feeder), and now were healed into silvery pink crescent slashes, forever reminders of how close he had been to...

To…

He… lost a lot of _confidence_ in himself and his own ability to protect himself. It shook the foundations of what he knew it was like to be secure in his own safety.

Which was why, he decided it was time to confront R-Rido, once and for all. How could he live with himself if he couldn't even feel safe in his own skin? The only way he could ever regain his self-confidence and dignity was to face _him_, properly. To face him without blinking an eye. To fight with all he had, and **more**, and never give in…

This was about _proving himself_. This was regaining his lost honour.

These were not, however, the motivations which led him to make the spontaneous decision to leap headfirst into a precarious solo-mission. At first, it had been the soldiers' mumbles about seeing movement in the castle windows which caught his interest, and then it was… _himself_. Something snapped inside him. Perhaps it was his mind. _Something_ was calling him into the castle, and Aidou couldn't ignore its pull. Out of the cover of the trees, he shot across the Hanadagi border – unknowingly setting off the various protective wards around the castle.

He vaguely heard the sounds of soldiers yards behind him hissing at him through their head-gear to return to the waiting line, but the sounds muffled in the darkness, and soon were lost altogether as the soldiers faltered. Uncertain whether they could abandon their posts to drag him back, they hung back, and soon fell far behind him.

Aidou, nevertheless, carried on.

When he burst through the back entrance to the castle, freezing and smashing the locks and throwing the door wide open, he smelt something which almost sent his heart into overdrive in excitement and _lust_.

**Blood**. Blood, blood, blood.

The stink – the delicious pungent steam of blood leaked out of the castle and into his lungs, sending his body into a trembling frenzy and he could practically **feel** his eyes shine red. His fangs were almost ridiculously long now, hanging out of his lips as his jaw fell open and he began to pant, hungrily, as though he was eating the smell of the air.

It even cancelled out the additionally strong smoky smell from the vast burning the castle had received, during their escape from it before, because blood was more interesting to smell than smoke, because it told him that

Blood was here.

A gust of the luscious scent wafted in front of him, taking him deeper into the castle. Without noticing it, Aidou was moving blindly into the castle, following his nose, nothing else. He wasn't even acting like an actual _soldier_ on a mission anymore. There was no stealth in his gait, he didn't check his blind spots for enemies lurking in dark corners or prepare himself for possible oncoming attacks. He was acting like a hunting blind mole, sniffing, sniffing his way towards his meal.

Blood, blood, blood…

At a certain point, Aidou began to lose his trail, and he drew to a stop. Not because the smell of blood faded, but because it suddenly _exploded_ everywhere. It was clouded one over another, meaning the route he was following was blurred. The scent overlapped forwards, left, right… which direction should he choose?

In this moment, as he began to look around to examine his surroundings properly. Little details sprung out at him, things he hadn't noticed before. First of all, even though the corridor he was on appeared deserted, he thought he could hear the sound of… breaths? There was a stink in the place, other than the blood. Aidou's senses were picking things out rapidly, all condensed into a spiral of confusion in consciousness. It was like a bucket of water had been thrown over him, and his mind just began to clear –

_-w-where am I? –_ he blinked, the redness in his eyes vanishing for a second –_ How did I get here? What's going on –_

– but then, a voice caught his attention, a voice which was soothing like a lullaby, refreshing like cold water:

"_Left. Turn left,"_

He didn't question the command. It was such a nice voice, and when he turned left, he quite _literally_ saw a light in the darkness. At the end of the pitch-black tunnel-like corridor, a tiny post-stamp sized doorway spilled light open to him, like a welcoming hand. He followed the call, the light, the thickening scent of blood towards that end. The doorway which had a voice, which called to him. The overwhelming smell of blood.

Aidou stepped slowly at first, and then he began to jog, and stumble. And then he began to run, sprint to that end. The end of this pain – this throat-clawing, stomach-clenching starvation –

In only seconds, he had reached it. Funny… but he was in no mind to question this oddity. The scent was too alluring by now, he was virtually salivating.

So, blindly, Aidou walked right into a trap he had not even anticipated, driven to madness by his thirst, he saw nothing else but the beautiful allure of red on the soaking carpet. It did not occur to him, the fact that the redness squelching out of the sodden, saturated floor was blood. It was his weight on the floor which squeezed the redness out, with each step he took.

How many bodies had been drained to fill this one room with so much blood?

It did not matter. Not to him, not at this time. He had never felt this primitive before. The animalistic madness brought him to his knees, on all fours, pressing down on the carpet till it was gushing. Till the blood flowed and coloured the white tips of his nails pink and stained his hands vivid red.

Only the acerbic laughter, which bubbled up a few feet from him, broke Aidou's concentration from licking the floor clean. It was a terrible laugh. One that induced stinging shivers to burn from his neck, right down to the base of his spine. When he lifted his head to see who it was (although he somehow already knew _who it must be)_, he gasped in shock at first, believing the person lit by moonlight must be… could only be…

_Kaname?_

But no.

The illusion was easily broken by closer scrutiny. Kaname's eyes weren't red and blue, nor did he wear a smirk as horribly petrifying as this. It was an illusion. The dark, exquisitely exotic features of a Kuran, clad in the rich, thick royal robes were reminiscent of the true Vampire King Aidou knew. From the rather dim lighting, all that could be seen of Rido's clothing was that it bore a striking resemblance to Kaname's ceremonial Coronation robe, only it was in tatters at the bottom, and patches of brown blood stains dirtied it, which removed its glamour. It seemed like Rido had already declared himself the King from his clothing he wore alone.

And the fact that his aura was pressing Aidou down, compelling him to bow properly to this faulty King made him all the more terrifying.

When he was released, he wasted no time, springing to his feet and narrowing his gaze to sharpen the fuzzy dark shadows into focus. With no qualms to respecting Purebloods any further, Aidou didn't care for what Rido thought anymore and outright glared at him. He would have stuck his middle finger at him too, if that wouldn't seem so childish.

It was strange, the sudden clarity of mind which hit him – sanity returned to him instantaneously. Little things he hadn't noticed before rushed to him in a storm – odd things like: _Why is the carpet red and squishy? _He wondered how this could happen – how he had been returned to sanity from blood madness. But the answer was obvious to him now.

It had to be Rido.

The voice he'd heard before, how had he not recognised a Pureblood's mind control? Kaname used it on them sparingly, even so – Aidou was more familiar with mind control than any of the others (due to Kaname being forced to discipline him). The echoing, dreamy voice which inhibited free will and took control of his body and mind. He'd heard it in the corridor, it had led him here.

But the more Aidou thought on it, the more he realised that Rido quite possibly had a hold on him even _before_ he'd entered the castle. Who knew how far a Pureblood's mind could reach? His blood starvation had escalated into him losing his mind _far_ too quickly than it should have. It wouldn't surprise him now to know that Rido might have catalysed his hunger too, to make him lose his control of his own mind…

No.

It wouldn't surprise him at all.

Everything was falling into place, and he could feel it. He could see by the smirk on Rido's face that this was all some sort of trap he'd been successfully led into. As soon as he stepped over the border, or even before then when he'd begun to lose himself… Rido had sensed his tortured mind, caught it and projected himself into it.

He'd used Aidou's best sense against him – his sense of smell. Aidou was the most sensitive one to the smell of blood.

What was he planning? What was he going to do?

"Ah, it's you _again_," Rido purred, descending the platform majestically with his ragged robes flowing down the steps smooth like water.

Aidou tensed, but flexed his legs cautiously. He could still feel the adrenaline-like rush his hunger had given him. It wasn't lost. As long as he didn't let himself get paralysed, he would be okay.

He… he had to be strong.

Like Kain.

"Your friends are coming too," the Pureblood mused, idly observing his captive. Aidou refused to look him in the eyes – convincing himself it wasn't out of fear, but a measure of defence. Perhaps it was juvenile, but he still believed a little in the possibility of being caught in someone's eyes. If he looked into Rido's eyes, who knew if he could escape them?

So he carefully raised his eyes, only enough to take in Rido's face on a whole. His expression disgusted Aidou. It was one of pure amusement, and slight _lust_.

Suddenly he was reminded of what Kaname had said once. Something along the lines of…

_Rido likes to play games._

Was this one of his frivolous games?

Aidou flinched when Rido suddenly leapt, in the time he had been thinking, and landed only a couple of feet from him. From this distance, even through the layers of his skin and thick clothing, Rido's Pure blood scent washed over Aidou and made his eyes redden once more.

Unconsciously, he licked his lips.

"Silly boy," Rido chuckled, reaching into his sleeve. Aidou lowered onto his haunches, like a cat ready to pounce. He was ready for anything. His eyes were glued to Rido's hand. What was he – ? "If you're _that_ thirsty, you need only ask," Rido smiled, pulling out a _blade_. A bleeding knife. Aidou's blood ran cold, but he stood his ground defiantly. Even as Rido whipped out his other hand and clicked his fingers.

A _thump!_ made Aidou turn to see a body fall to the floor. He couldn't help but turn to look at it, and then up at the ceiling where it had come from. All he could see was darkness. Then the body was levitated and Aidou's gaze whipped back to it, and to Rido, and back to it. He didn't know where to look! Rido was levitating the person over, over to where? To…

To him?

The body was dropped at his feet, blood spurt out of the carpet with a small splash upon impact.

He saw a bare foot nudge it closer to him and jumped, darting a quick look upwards to Rido, who had appeared right in front of him without him noticing.

"Eat,"

Aidou inwardly gulped. He couldn't look away from the body now. From the nudge, it had been– _he_ had been roused. The man blinked up at him, heavy lids fluttering slowly awake. He was flat on his back and looked as calm as a baby woken from a long nap. It was ridiculous. It was so tempting to just jump on him and sink his fangs into his neck, to feel the rush of blood down his throat – his throbbing fangs were quite _literally_ a sharp reminder of his hunger.

"It's rude to let your food go cold,"

Aidou didn't even have time to close his eyes, or turn away, or scream –

Rido just stepped forwards, directly _onto the man's throat_, a sickening crush and small huff telling him the man's last breath had been expelled by that force.

The man was dead.

He'd just… just been _killed_. Right in front of him. And he hadn't made a single move to stop it.

Aidou had seen many dead men and women before, soldiers in the battlefield…

But this man was no soldier. He looked like an ordinary _man_. Middle-aged, plain, innocent –

"Go on," Rido was even _closer_ now, and he tilted his head with a warm, encouraging smile, "I've made it easy for you now. Don't be shy. Hurry. It's going to get cold if you don't-"

"I won't!" Aidou pulled away from him, darting a quick glance at Rido's intrigued eyes. He swore loudly, uncaring anymore for manners, "How could you – you just-"

"Come now," the Pureblood insisted, stepping forwards to match Aidou's retreat, "You're thirsty – that's nothing to be ashamed of. Don't be rude. Rejecting a host's generosity is terrible manners,"

Aidou found himself backing up again, his wide eyes fixated on the dead man. His crushed throat. The tantalising vibrant red trickle of blood hanging from his lips. It was so _wrong_. He was sickened, both by the scene and the fact that he was actually visualising himself _eating him. _He was shaking his head, unable to say anything. Little horrified squeaks fell from his lips, which made Rido roar with more laughter.

"You're _hilarious_!" he exclaimed, meeting Aidou's backwards footsteps again with his arms wide open, stretched in a welcoming embrace, "Coming here to us, and acting like a frightened kitten. What's the matter with you? Don't you feel welcome?"

Aidou squeaked again, knowing he was running out of space to retreat to. He didn't understand Rido's behaviour at all. Then again, he knew he was a total nutter. But why was he saying these things –

Oh.

Suddenly he was reminded of Rido's speech when they left Hanadagi Castle, inviting any and all Vampires to join his side of the War, which they could do –

by coming to Hanadagi Castle.

"No!" he shrieked, feeling all his plans for bravery leaving him, his buzzing strength in the sinews of his muscles sizzling into a dismal waste. He couldn't do it. He was, in the end, too afraid. In his panic, Aidou darted his gaze back to the dead man, panting as the smell of death permeated the air. "Who was he?" he asked quietly, flexing his legs again, trying to encourage his body to not freeze up.

Rido's mismatched eyes looked at the man with disturbing indifference. For a moment he simply stared at him. Aidou felt a chill go up his spine again, as he suddenly recognised the mistakes he had made.

He had referred to the man as a "he", whilst Rido clearly thought of the Human as an "it". On top of this, Aidou's adamant refusal to eat him pointed directly to the fact that he wasn't here to join Rido's side. In a way, the meal had been a test.

A test which proved Aidou's loyalties were not to Rido.

When Rido lifted his eyes, Aidou found himself caught in them, unthinkingly meeting the red and blue in fear. What did Rido think of him now? What had he done?

Rido was smiling though. It didn't set Aidou at ease the slightest bit.

"Ah, I've been mistaken,"

The Pureblood's hand darted forwards, catching Aidou's face in one hand and tugging his head back with the other sunken in his curly hair, forcing Aidou to crane his neck. Like any Vampire, this was the one of the most exposed positions – stretching his neck and opening his carotid artery wide for anyone to _Bite_…

He panted helplessly, finding the air he breathed too heavy with blood. He was finding it difficult to think, to concentrate.

"I suppose then, that your friends who have come here too, share your current _loyalty_?" Rido hissed, shaking Aidou's trembling chin when he didn't answer. His eyes flashed, "You will answer me,"

"Yes," Aidou whimpered, gasping when Rido's clawed fingers dug into his chin, forcing teardrops and blood droplets to drip simultaneously down his face.

"You will speak to me properly,"

"Y-Yes Rido-sama," he repeated, flinching as his hair was stroked softly. He could feel the claws of that hand drag on his scalp, and it sent shivers down his spine again.

"Well then," Rido chirped, tilting his head back too, "I suppose that they should also receive a little welcome,"

At that moment, the room exploded with light, causing Aidou to tense and scream.

But there was no pain. It was just lightning from the outside. Rido cackled raucously, just as the thunder then echoed the lingering flashes of light in the sky.

It wasn't the lightning alone which had startled Aidou though, but the _moving ceiling_.

His head was facing upwards, and so he could suddenly see that the ceiling was completely covered in _people_. In _**Level Es**_, hanging upside down on the ceiling like bats. They had been utterly silent all this time, invisible and undetectable in the dark, but in the brief flashes of light he saw them moving, all at once. The ceiling was teeming with them, and when the thunder faded, he could hear them scrambling across it. The last flash showed him them all suddenly changing to move in _one direction_. Towards the door he had entered.

Towards the rest of the castle.

"No!" he shouted, but his cries fell on deaf ears. Rido simply rocked him in his arms in mock-comfort, stroking his hair leisurely.

"Oh _yes_," Rido cooed, chuckling when Aidou's desperate screams escalated to even _kicking_ and bucking against his hold. "Don't be so selfish, young one. All your friends will be welcomed with equal generosity. Don't you worry,"

"No, please! Spare them!" he shrieked, shuddering from the freezing puffs of air spilling from Rido's breathless laughter. He yelled, seeing the Level Es even clambering down the sides of the walls, like insects, crawling out of the room towards Takuma and the others – "Spare them!" he begged.

"Spare them of what? They had their chance," the sudden change in Rido's voice from amused to livid was incredible. It shocked Aidou so much that he stilled in his arms. It was futile anyway, his efforts to fight against him. Even at his strongest, when he could feel all his muscles working to their limits and the extra strength pulsing in his veins, he couldn't break from his hold.

He was truly pathetic.

Aidou slumped, feeling his face already slick with tears and sweat. He had no other choice than to lean back against Rido, and he yelped, feeling his ice cold body even through their clothes. Even as an ice-master, Aidou couldn't enjoy the cool feeling of Rido's body. It was painfully cold.

He whimpered, staring at the descending Level Es scuttling across the ground and walls dejectedly. What could he do? He was trapped, in the arms of the man he promised himself he would not give into, either in fear or weakness.

He was trapped by both.

Rido nuzzled the top of his head, moaning happily, victoriously –

It was then that Aidou was hit by a burst of inspiration.

"Spare them – you can have _me_!" he exclaimed, wriggling urgently in Rido's arms so he could crane his neck to face him. As he met Rido's face, he caught sight of the surprised Pureblood's eyes flicker to his neck. He twitched, but otherwise remained calm. His strength could be in his _giving_. His courage could be in his _sacrifice_, "You can have my blood. You can have me instead, but let them go-"

"They **are** gone," Rido breathed, leaning forwards to whisper into Aidou's ear, "To whatever outcome Fate intended. There will be no second chances-"

"No, _I beg you-!"_

" – for _them_. For you, however," he bent his head down into the crook of Aidou's neck, inhaling deeply, "I am willing to make an exception for you. I remember tasting your blood… Aidou, is it? Hmm, your blood isn't remarkable, but like mine, it is still cold and sweet,"

"_Please_!" Aidou sobbed, "Let them go-" The others didn't know what was coming. They had no idea an entire army of countless Level Es were headed their way. They were unprepared. They were _under_prepared, there being only fifty odd soldiers out there. It wasn't fair. "Please-"

_Be strong._

He reminded himself to be strong.

Be strong like Kain.

_Oh god. I didn't say goodbye to him. I just left. _

"You, my dear, would make a wonderful servant. Or maybe a butler-"

Be brave.

Like Kain.

Already, Aidou could feel the cloud of Rido's mind descending on his, causing his body to slacken further against him. His head was rolling backwards, like his eyes –

" – no, a slave would be more useful, but that wouldn't appeal to you, will it? I think-"

Strong. Be strong.

For Kain.

" – for you to come to my side _willingly_, you'll be given the place of my right-hand-"

– and the curve of his neck widening, Rido's cold breath descending –

_Be strong for Kain! Please, be brave!_

" –man. You'd be good at that, yes. All you need is a little _**convincing**_,"

– and then Rido's mouth was closing over Aidou neck –

_For Kain!__** For **__**Kain**__**!**_

Aidou's mind slipped away from his clenching grasp, and the last thing he thought was:

_Kain!_

* * *

><p>"Mercy above," he hissed, crouching around the corner of a corridor, "I can't see a <em>thing<em>!"

"Sir, neither can we, sir," a tiny voice whispered across from them. Takuma made a sharp cutting motion, ordering Boy (the walkie-talkie boy-soldier, whose name Takuma still hadn't managed to get yet) to **shut up**, even though it had been himself who spoke first.

The castle was pitch black, and it reeked of death – the smoky char from Kain's flame when they had escaped the castle the last time, plus the stench of old and fresh blood pouring in copious amounts out of every niche and crevice in walls, through the floors, underneath gaps in doorways… even the wall he was leaning against was sticky with _something nasty_, which he didn't want to think much about. All Takuma could see of those of the soldiers who were Vampires by their gleaming red eyes in the darkness.

After hearing that Aidou had gone ahead, Boy and Takuma had immediately led the others into the castle, from the front and the back respectively, somehow managing to meet somewhere in the middle. Takuma then preceded control over the whole platoon, because even though Boy had done a good job, Boy was more than relieved to hand over responsibility to someone older (though when Takuma thought about it further, he figured that even _he_ wasn't older than Boy by much, which was rather… alarming).

He ordered the soldiers to split up into smaller groups and move out to cover more ground. In his group, he chose to keep Boy with him, seeing as the young man was a little too eager, a little too _chirpy_ to leave unattended on a stealth mission – he might accidentally alert the enemy if they were lurking around, and they couldn't afford that, even if the wards had detected them already. Boy was very keen to speak, loudly and a **lot** – he somehow deemed the silence they travelled in as being a silence which required _conversation_ to fill it. The idiot. Even though he could tell that Boy wasn't stupid, he didn't seem to understand the _covertness_ of their operation, and that they had to **stay quiet**. He meant well, and he certainly kept up the morale of the team, especially as they ventured deeper into the dark gloom of the Hanadagi castle, but…Takuma had to frequently urge him to _shut the hell up_, and yet, the awful irony was that the more time he spent around Boy, he found he was becoming more talkative like him too.

He found himself indulging his fears by hissing curses at the eerie constant dripping they heard (though they had yet to find the source of the dripping, which made it even worse somehow), and swearing whenever his group of soldiers tripped over one another, bumping clumsily and making a ruckus in the dark. Making noises kept the fears at bay, but it wasn't a good habit to have, when they were trying to go by unnoticed. He blamed Boy.

How could they call their movements _stealthy_ anymore? Blind elephants running on marbles were stealthier than they were at the moment.

Takuma sighed through his nose, darting a quick look around the corner. It was clear, as far as he could see (which he couldn't really, at all), so he confidently swept another gesture to Boy's side of the corridor, ordering his half of the group to move.

Boy didn't get it.

Takuma sighed again, hissing, "_Move_,"

Their half moved forwards, and Takuma's followed behind. Really, he couldn't see a thing! How were they meant to find Aidou like this? And on top of that, they had to somehow return to the original mission plan – to create a suitable distraction for Kaname.

Well, somehow he knew the glaringly obvious truth that no matter even if they _did_ manage to return to the original plan, _they_ _were going to be found_.

If only Aidou hadn't run ahead and set off the wards… consequently, Aidou might be causing more trouble in the castle for them. He was out of his mind. Out of control.

And in terrible danger.

They **all** were in real danger now. Takuma remembered promising that this mission wouldn't end up being a suicide mission, but now he wasn't so sure…

"Sir, sir!"

"Quieten down, soldier," Takuma breathed, hearing Boy loud and clear, even amongst the racket of their ungainly shuffling bodies. Their quiet noises were thunderous in the silence. He carefully tapped his fingers on the backs of each shoulder, till he reached near the front (of course, that's where the eager one would be) and his finger met Boy's shoulder, and subsequently a startled squeak was released. "_Quieten down_!" he hissed insistently in Boy's ear. Or at least, where he thought Boy's ear was. "What were you going to say?" he whispered shortly.

"I hear something, sir," Boy said without hesitation. Takuma winced at this, but shook his shoulder to let him know he was listening. "Down there, something moving," …stupid, _stupid_! He just knew that Boy was pointing at whatever he heard, but could they see which direction he was pointing? No. Maybe he _was_ considerably less bright than he had thought – "Sir, you're looking in the wrong direction. I said _down there_," he emphasised by stomping his foot on the floor. Ah, he didn't mean down the corridor.

He meant right by their feet.

How could Boy see where he was looking?

And then, Takuma remembered his red eyes. Boy wasn't a Vampire then… his eyes weren't visible in the dark. In a way then, his loud voice was an advantage to him – it was the only way they could find him in the dark.

Takuma squatted down lower to listen for what Boy said he'd heard. The soldiers had all drawn to a stop, obediently falling silent as he investigated this noise more carefully. Only Boy crawled beside him, for once being quiet too, so they could listen for "it".

"I swear, if this ends up being a rat…" Takuma muttered under his breath, tapping around the sticky floor for anything. His fingers brushed against cloth, so he shuffled forwards, patting along the side of fabric. He followed the length with his patting hands, all the way up to a leg.

That was where Takuma was grabbed, and he let out a startled yell.

"Sir!" Boy exclaimed, lunging from where _he_ was squatted, to rescue his captain. Fortunately his lunge knocked Takuma clean off whoever had grabbed him. _Unfortunately_ then Boy managed to stand on something, and they heard a sickening _crack!_ and a pained yelp.

"Get back!" Takuma barked, pushing Boy back to the other soldiers, where he stumbled to find a place. Takuma felt along the cloth again, finding that the unknown person's legs were drawn up this time against their chest to protect themselves. The person was hissing and sobbing.

Takuma stuck a hand behind him, catching one of the soldiers on the knee, he grabbed onto them and hissed, "The flashlight. Give me the flashlight," they were being noisy enough already. A flashlight wasn't the only thing that would be giving them away. He was handed an old crummy flashlight, whose brightest setting was so dim it barely gave much lighting anyway to draw any attention.

He fumbled with the switch, finding it, and marvelling at how _bright_ the dim flashlight seemed in the pitch blackness right then. At first he aimed it at the person's folded legs, spotting two slender hands curled around them. Then he raised it higher and higher, wondering all the while why their captive wasn't trying to escape the light… he raised it right to their eyes –

And almost dropped the freaking light when he saw who it was.

Although Takuma had never known him personally, he recognised him from old books and even magazines from decades ago – he was a member of the dwindling number of the Vampires' highest class of society – the Purebloods, of course …

"H-Hanadagi _Nori-sama_?"

* * *

><p>They were all at the edges of their seats, tense for Kaname's reaction to Rima's explanation as it drew to a close. Kaname didn't look very happy. At all. By "not happy", that pretty much meant that his aura was pushing Rima into the wall behind her, coiling and snapping at her in misdirected anger. He was pissed. The disappearance of Kain was like a sudden blow to the gut. Kain was one of his right-hand-men. One of his most trusted… had defied his orders to stay in the castle and <em>protect the people there<em>. He had, in a way, jeopardised the lives of five other people (even though Kaname knew that the five people were quite fine protecting themselves, especially with Ruka and Rima there) by acting in the interests of protecting _one_ person… Kaname knew that it was _more_ than instinctive for Kain to be fiercely protective of Aidou, and that he probably couldn't help his reaction from reading that note. It would have put him into a wild state of hysteria, being parted from Aidou.

But that didn't disregard the fact that Kain had deserted them. For his own motives.

He wasn't abiding by the orders of his superior, so when he returned, Kaname was going to make sure he'd have hell to pay in punishment. His darkening aura was a sure promise of that.

This didn't divert Kaname's attention from the note either, or that it reminded him of the fact that:

Fifty odd soldiers, including two of his closest friends (and Kain, quite possibly) were risking their lives to create a diversion that was no longer needed.

"I am afraid that there is nothing we can do for them right now,"

"Nothing we can do?" Zero exclaimed, catching Kaname's attention. To the others' dismay, he didn't seem to register or care about the Pureblood's dangerously darkening aura, and he glared at him incredulously, "There are people out there risking their lives for absolutely _nothing_ right now! We've done our job and accomplished _nothing_. We should tell them to call it off,"

"No, they have been instructed to distract Rido till morning light," Kaname countered swiftly, "By the time a messenger has reached them, it will already be dawn. Therefore we must trust in Takuma's ability to lead them safely and well, and in the meantime we will use the time they have given us efficiently. There are many things that we can do whilst Rido's eye is distracted – first and foremost, we must locate a Weapon. Ruka hasn't told us what she has found yet. If you would enlighten us – you look like you have something important to say," he gestured politely to the girl, barely sitting still as she squirmed impatiently.

"Oh we _have_," Ruka gushed smugly, throwing a grateful look to Yuuki, she snapped her gaze back to Kaname and gingerly lifted Juri's diary to show him. His eyes widened a little in recognition and he paled slightly, but despite that he simply motioned for her to continue. "We've been reading through this, and found evidence that your mother created a Weapon for Rid-"

"No!" Kaname snarled, standing to tower above her. He didn't look angry, but rather frantic, like he just could not bring himself to believe what she was saying, "She can't have!"

"Kaname," Zero cut in, "Let her speak!" trying to narrow his eyes at the Pureblood reproachfully, but failing when worry won over frustration. Kaname looked really distraught by what Ruka had said. But why? Wasn't it good to know that his mother had created a Weapon? It meant that they could end Rido with it.

"I don't believe you," Kaname murmured, shaking his head like a wet dog, "Juri was _not_ the sort of person who could do such a thing as create a Weapon, no matter how much she hated Rido. Weapons can either be created in a predetermined manner, where the creator has been planning to kill the Pureblood for some time. But I don't think that would be the way she would have made it. Juri – my mother was not so cold-hearted to be able to plan a murder. Even if she hated him, he was ultimately her brother.," he cleared his throat momentarily, "It could be either done _that _way, or in an instance where a Weapon is created spontaneously out of pure desperation of the moment… usually when a Pureblood is… fighting for their life… or when they're threatened, in dangeror…" Kaname's voice drifted off, his face twisted in disgust and he looked actually like he fighting the urge to be sick.

Ruka looked aggrieved – but only she knew what pain Kaname was experiencing. Only she could understand what he did, because she had been able to read further into the diary than anyone else, and unveiled secrets she definitely never should have been privy to. She clutched the book tightly, wondering why it was **she** who had been shown them. Maybe wherever Juri was now, she was looking over them, and had decided to give them some help.

If Kaname knew anything at _all_ about what Juri had been through, Ruka could only sympathise with the pain he was enduring. He must be absolutely denying the chance that his mother had been subjected to such… horrors.

Ruka knew that before she could tell Kaname where they suspected the Weapon to be, she'd first have to convince him that the Weapon existed. She'd have to tell him something _horrible_, something which was quite possibly the worst thing you could expect to hear about someone you had loved.

Oh Juri...

"Please," the King begged, peering at her through wounded eyes, "Tell me she wasn't…"

"Kaname, listen to me," she began, wincing as he shook his head again brokenly.

He lifted his head slowly, like it was weighed down by the weight of all his years, "Please. Please, I'm begging you. _Tell me_ she wasn't…"

"Kaname," she started again, taking a deep breath, "I have the powers of mind-play, or the ability to create illusions, as you know. But I have never… I never ever guessed that my power could go _both ways_. I've picked up on an illusion Juri created to hide away a secret in this very diary. I would have overlooked it, had I not nitpicked at every single entry again and again, because it was so cleverly concealed within the very page itself, in the tiniest misspelling of a word. Your mother is extraordinary," she breathed in awe, her eyes glittering, "To have constructed such a thing," she paused in hesitation, brushing a strand of hair off her eyes, "But… I think, perhaps, it was for a very good reason that she hid this entry. I'm sorry. I never suspected…"

"Please, Ruka," Kaname moaned, burying his face in his hands, "_Don't,"_

"Kaname," Zero placed a concerned hand on his shoulder, concern for the Pureblood pushing him to comfort him like a friend. He _was_ a friend... "What's wrong?"

He gasped, seeing Kaname's face twisted in agony as it turned to face him. Kaname was completely bent over in his seat now, curled up over himself and shielding his face with his hands. He wasn't crying, or at least, he didn't _think_ he was crying. But every tremble of his powerful shoulders told Zero that perhaps his pain was vaster than crying could ever convey.

Kaname shuddered at his touch, and shut his eyes tightly.

"K-Kuran Rido… is a sick _bastard,_" he whispered shakily. Before Zero could scoff, he spoke again, "And he was very, _very_ infatuated with my m-mother,"

Zero frowned in confusion, just as, moments later, Rima gasped in shock. She clapped her hands to her mouth, shaking her head silently. "He _couldn't_, he _didn't…_"

"What?" Ichiru asked, just as confused as his brother. He shared a perplexed look with Yuuki, and -

- and then, amazingly his mind seemed to understand exactly what Kaname seemed to be implying.

Rido had been in love with Juri. But Juri, supposedly, hated him.

A Weapon could be created "_spontaneously out of pure desperation of the moment… usually when a Pureblood is… fighting for their life… or when they're **threatened**, in danger or…"_

Or...

No.

No, this was _**sick**_.

Rido hadn't… hadn't "threatened" Kaname's mother… had he? Could that have been enough for her to create a Weapon to kill him? Kaname had just said that he was sure Juri's gentle heart was not cold enough to manage creating a Weapon to kill her brother, no matter how much she might hate him. But if he _threatened_ her…

"When?" Kaname asked Ruka quietly.

She bit her lip, but conceded an answer, "After their wedding," she whispered, "He **Bit** her. Right after Haruka and Juri's wedding,"


	77. What Fear Does To Me PART 2

**Author's Note:**

**AAAH! This is sooo long! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!**

**I hope everyone will be open-minded to my own interpretation of the Kuran siblings (generation ****1****) characteristics and personalities. I have tried to gage their personalities based on the little things Hino-sensei has told us. Such as: Juri is one cool lady, Haruka's a total sweetheart, Rido's a bastard etc. **

**Artistic licence? Is that what it's called?**

**Don't take this as gospel! That's just what I'm sayin.**

**Anyway, you'll have to indulge my imagination, for making Juri less lady-like than you would have perhaps guessed. Ruka would definitely not have anticipated her idol being so cheeky at times!**

**Also, I'd like to clarify that when Juri talks about "morning" she is referring to the Vampire morning, as in – the **_**moon**_** rising, instead of the sun. Our night time. K. That's it. XD**

**This is long and Juri-centric, but I love her, and I hope you love her too. She is a terrific lady-character (even tho she gets such little screen-time), and I love Haruka too, cos he's just a darlin' XD**

* * *

><p><strong>"Real fear is like <span>intense pain<span>. It's there to warn you something's truly wrong."**

~Tim Lebbon

**"A mind that is afraid withers away; it cannot function properly."**

~Jiddu Krishnamurti

**"Fear. It was happening all over again. That sickly helpless feeling that spread with its icy fingers, slowly eating up all faith and hope."**

~Gennita Low

* * *

><p>Juri Kuran was famous for being a cheerfully strong-minded, passionate woman, who commonly stunned those around her by how brightly her determination shone, how avidly she searched for the best in people and adamantly refused to accept that anyone could be completely wicked. Above all, it was her feisty nature and enchanting beauty which captured the attention of both her brothers. Rido fell in love with her as she grew into a stunning young woman, and her personality blossomed like a rose – becoming more layered, deeper, yet still vibrant and colourful. She matured and yet retained her uniquely optimistic view of the world. Her purity was what inspired his lust.<p>

For Haruka, he adored Juri in her entirety – since the day she was born, he was utterly enamoured of her. Even when she had been little and spoilt (being the youngest sibling) and acted annoyingly defiant, often causing trouble from her mulish ways, he couldn't help but find her positively charming. His heart was stolen the second she opened her eyes to him, when she had been a mere babe in his arms, and from that day on, he was completely hers.

However, in the end Juri had to be faithful to her heart, and she knew, despite loving both her brothers, she could only manage to love one of them completely.

Was it to be her oldest brother, who had only begun paying her attention when she grew out of her "mischievous" childhood? Though Juri loved Rido, since he was her older brother, she could never say she knew him as well as she knew Haruka, who had stuck with her from day one. It seemed to her, that it was only when she had grown out of her obnoxious childish behaviour that he found her worthwhile.

Rido never cared for her frivolity. Ultimately, he loved that she was beautiful. In the end, he wanted to _tame_ her.

But Haruka – dear gentle Haruka…he had always been so sweet and devoted to her from the very start. She couldn't imagine a life without him in it, and hoped she'd never have to.

Not only did he support her in almost every way, but he shared her rather strange fascination with Humans, and moreover, he spoke often to her about his wish for a future where Humans and Vampires could live side-by-side. That spun ideas off in her mind, wild ideas of a coexistence between the two races – of a future where there may be more understanding between them, and maybe even _peace_. He often indulged her fascination of the Human race by letting her sneak out to live in their world when she could (as long as he could tag along to "protect her").

Haruka was just… he just understood her better than anyone else did. She could talk to him about anything she wanted, and know he would not think less of her. Even when she divulged her very deepest secrets to him, she knew he would never breathe word of them to anyone.

The choice didn't even need to be made – it was already _there_. And when it became apparent to the brothers whom she preferred, the less-favoured brother slunk away, vanishing from their lives quicker than they could have imagined. Haruka and Juri found it incredibly difficult to accept that they had lost their sibling due to **love**. Love was meant to hold a family together, never tear it _apart_. They tried not to feel guilt as they fell ever _deeper_ into love, even as they began to see less and less of Rido and their courtship progressed. Perhaps the distance could be taken as unwilling acceptance. They tried to pretend that Rido was just taking rejection passively, and that he would eventually come to terms with their relationship sooner or later.

He just needed time, they said.

But no matter how much time passed, Juri couldn't help but worry about her oldest brother. They hadn't seen him in decades. They had lost all contact with him. She tried to remember the last time they had spoken, what she had said. Had they departed on a bad note? Or did he simply resent her for choosing Haruka over himself?

She couldn't help but feel anxious about the suddenness of how he had cut himself out of their lives. He wasn't a common fixture in her life, like Haruka, but it was always reassuring to know that he was there, because in the end, he was _family_.

Meanwhile, Haruka worried about Juri. She had finally fallen for _him_, and out of her own accord (he could have never pressured her into loving him anyway. He could pursue her all he wanted, but ultimately she was far too independently-minded to be pushed into love), yet she was drawing away from him. It was confusing and hurtful to be told you were loved by someone you'd loved for so long, and then being pushed aside in favour of… something else. Why couldn't they enjoy their love for each other? What was occupying her mind?

(Why wasn't it _him_?)

Haruka also worried about his brother, but unlike Juri, he felt that it was good that Rido kept his distance. He loved his brother too, but sometimes the way that Rido had looked at Juri when he was around didn't sit well with Haruka. Rather than admiring her, his eyes _ate_ her. He knew his brother's fixation with Juri was already quite alarming, but it could become unhealthy if he continued to be around her, especially with him seeing Juri with _himself_. Seeing Juri with Haruka might make Rido's jealousy grow into a dangerous burning **hateful **_**rage**_.

Haruka didn't want Rido to be around Juri, if he might become like that.

When news came to them that Rido had become engaged to the infamous "Kuruizaki-hime", they were incredibly pleased. The timing of this was _terrific_. Too long, they hadn't heard about their brother. At least now they knew for sure that he was alright, and that he most probably had moved on from Juri, if he was getting engaged. Hio Shizuka was well known for being absolutely exquisite, even for a Pureblood (though Haruka adamantly refused to believe anyone could beat Juri in beauty). That was good, Juri thought. She was certain that Rido would be happy with a stunningly beautiful wife, after all, hadn't he always been admiring her for her beauty?

They decided then, that it would be safe to announce their own engagement, now that their brother had moved onto loving someone else. Haruka had proposed many years ago, when he'd first felt Juri drifting from him (afraid that she would reconsider their relationship). But they had agreed to withhold announcing it publicly until they knew Rido was back on track again.

Delighted by their announcement, their aged and fatigued father then declared himself retired from the throne, and promptly handed the crown to Haruka. He was already weary of the world, after the loss of their mother so many centuries ago, and desired to return to her to lie down by her side for all eternity. Initially it was meant for Rido to inherit the throne, but after he had deserted his family and his duties for decades, and he had partially disgraced the Kuran family by engaging himself to someone outside of the family without even notifying them, he was seen as less fit to rule than Haruka. Therefore, it was arranged that Haruka and Juri's marriage would coincide with the Coronation.

And then they married in the autumn…

* * *

><p><em>How can one single day be both the best and worst day of a lifetime? Today I finally married Haru. To say it was just "incredible" would give it no justice. When we Bonded, I felt more alive than I have ever known, and I was certain that this day could not be made more perfect.<em>

_And I was right. Perfection was the morning. But from perfection, the only way the rest of the day could go must logically be _down_._

_Down it went, everything – my bliss, my love and my innocence were stolen from me. I can never forget the pain of what he did to me. Even though my darling Haru begs me to forgive and forget, to accept that what has been done is done, I can't forgive. I can't forget. He stole my happiness on the day that mattered the most to me._

_All Haru wants is for me to be happy, but how can I be happy, knowing that I must share half of myself with _him_? How can Haru bear to be with me, knowing that I am tainted with another man? It's insane. It's completely insane. Nobody should be Bonded to _two_ people. Ever._

_I feel like I have been unfaithful, even though I know that I wasn't. This is killing me inside…my love for Haru means nothing if I cannot give him all of myself, but how can I give myself to him when half of me belongs to Rido? He stole me. He took what should have never been his._

* * *

><p>Golden leaves carpeted the stony autumn ground, and the wind made its own music, rustling them in small tornado swirls. The sweet smell of rain hung in the air. You would have thought that summer would have been Lady Juri's preferred season, knowing her boisterous, lively personality would match the sunnier time of year. The character of autumn was – calm, cool and quiet. Sweet from the rich smell of the earth, mixed in muddy puddles, and the rain which was a frequent visitor in this season.<p>

Autumn reminded Juri of Haruka, which was why she wanted it to be the time when they were married (he wanted summer, but she won over him, being the bride, obviously). She took great pride in the work she had put in to plan everything for her wedding in only three months, so that they could be married during the Harvest Moon – the first moon after the autumnal equinox. The reddish glow of the heavy moon would be a striking backdrop for their wedding.

And it had been.

Juri laughed gleefully, bouncing her knees and rubbing her arms from the chill. She hated feeling chilly, but at the moment she couldn't care less about it! She was so deliriously happy. The wedding had been spectacular! A total success! If there was something Juri would always enjoy, it would be the satisfaction of a job well done.

It would also be… the look on Haruka's face when he'd seen her.

Absolutely.

_Hilarious_.

He had looked absolutely gobsmacked, his face slackening comically in wonder, and then a gorgeous smile lit his whole face, and Juri had had to remind herself to keep her pace slow and dignified. She couldn't rush up to the altar and jump on her fiancé just because his smile made her _want _to! That would be so un-ladylike! She had also wanted to laugh out loud at how ridiculously sappy he looked in that moment, but instead she had only managed to reply to him with an equally large grin.

(And a coquettish wink.)

She took her place on the platform, at Haruka's side as he was crowned, pride making her eyes shine with pure love for the man who she knew would rule their Kingdom with the same majesty their father had governed with. The necklace, the Rose Shield, the dagger… they were all part of a ritual passed down from generations past. And as she saw Haruka's blood spin the metal band into a glorious shining crown, she found tears spilling over her cheeks, and yet she couldn't move her own hand to wipe them away.

Haruka turned to her – a magnificent sight clad in his billowing ceremonial robes, he strode over to her and carefully offered her his hand –

which she took, without hesitation.

He laid an affectionate kiss on it, wiped her tears with his other hand, and then offered the dagger to her. Juri pierced her own skin, biting her lip but refusing to make a single noise, despite the odd burning pain in her thumb from it. The dagger had cut deeper than she intended, slipping right into the sensitive nerves of her thumb pad. However, Haruka quickly handed her a ring of metal which she pressed her blood to, and she watched in awe as it moulded and formed a dazzling crown for herself, not even needing to force herself to be distracted by it. She almost didn't notice her beloved dutifully sucking her wounds to heal, or him tucking the dagger into the sash of her dress.

She and Haruka gazed out at their Kingdom, their people all gathered to celebrate their union and the love that they shared and the future they were about to lead, and she felt overwhelmed with love, for everyone. Happiness. Let her never forget this happiness, or ever take it for granted.

Even when Haruka ducked his head to her ear and whispered, "_He's not_ _here_," to her regretfully, it hadn't dulled her joy by much. There was no questioning who "he" was, yet Juri couldn't even feel ashamed when she replied, "_I have you,"_ back to Haruka. It was true. She had Haruka, who else would she need? They had invited Rido and his fiancée to their wedding, but if they didn't want to come, it was their own loss. In the end, maybe it was better they _didn't_ come. Maybe it would have ruined the day, by dragging out an old grudge…

Officially, they were the new King and Queen… so the Bonding ceremony should have happened next, but Juri (odd as ever) decided to arrange for them to be married in the _Human_ way before that.

Many of the Council and public were shocked, even horrified to hear her request – but what did that matter? Screw them! It wasn't _their _wedding! Juri had always dreamed of marrying this way – binding themselves symbolically with golden rings. It was just something she had always found dreadfully _romantic_ about Human marriages – the tradition of wearing rings which symbolised eternal love. It was a silly promise for a Human to make though, because from what she had observed of them, most of them had many loves in their lives (though in Human culture, that wasn't a bad thing at all. She believed that it was sometimes called "experimentation", and was perfectly natural for them to partake in). Who was to say they'd be able to love one person eternally?

And on top of that – Humans didn't live forever. So how could they guarantee eternal love? She was fascinated by the length of their lives – which were ridiculously short in comparison to the _true _eternity of a Pureblood life. She admired the way that Humans strived to fit everything they could into their little lives – to do everything they possibly could in the time given to them. Time was always their master.

Humans had to make the most of the little time they had, so they had to think about ways of making their lives meaningful – they were taught not to waste a single moment, to be cautious and careful (particularly with their health – another concept completely alien to Juri), yet to never let risk govern life because – life was too short to be worried about. These ideas… they were all so strange to Juri that she had to step back to think on them further, and re-evaluate everything they had been taught, as Pureblooded Vampires.

Humans weren't so stupid after all. To Vampires, although Humans now dominated the populations on the planet, they were still regarded as an inferior race – lesser in all ways of intelligence and innovation and _beauty_. The belief among Vampires was that, since Humans lived much shorter lives than they did, they couldn't actually learn anything significant about life or the world around them before they died.

But in fact, they seemed to understand better than any Pureblood or Vampire about the value of _**life**_, and how it should be treasured and protected, because it was _fragile _and _transient_, and for Humans – death was always the black vulture lurking above in the far skies. Death wasn't something Juri thought about very often. It was another wholly alien notion to her, because Purebloods were _immortal_. They could only die by another's hand – she knew that.

(She also knew that the ceremonial dagger they'd used at their wedding had been the one her father asked Haruka to end his life with, so he may finally lay in peace beside his wife and Haruka could take his place. Only a Pureblood could kill a Pureblood. It was a common yet tragic tradition of the Kuran Royal line for the throne to be passed from one to another via this method. How else could an old King be properly laid to a well-deserved rest and the throne be passed on to someone new?)

But death… what was beyond that? After death, she knew that precious life drew to a close, and what happened after it was a mystery to everyone. As far as the living knew, death was the end.

Was "death" a notion dulled by time to the Purebloods because they never had to reach it? Death scared her. But it scared her more how "death" seemed to have lost its meaning to Purebloods, especially after she'd spoken to Haruka about it, and he'd told her he didn't think much about it at all either. If one didn't understand death, how could they appreciate life?

(Juri knew that she valued life, when she looked back on her time with Humans, and remembered how many of them she still mourned. And now that their Father was gone, she truly understood the feeling of loss.)

Whilst a Pureblood could live for millennia upon millennia… in the end (if there was one) their lives might not amount to anything significant at all. And _that_ was another scary thought. Right now, she was lucky enough to say that her life _did_ have meaning, because she was one of the "lucky ones" who had already found the love of her life and… well Juri loved Haruka with every atom of her being, and she planned to live with him forever… but still, was that enough? Was that good enough to say, by the odd chance that death _did_ come to her, that she had lived a life well spent?

Who could be the judge of that? Only herself.

What if she died… and it didn't matter? What if she died, and there was absolutely nothing to put to her name? Juri wasn't a greedy woman who wanted remembered forever… but she wanted her life to contribute to the world in _some_ way. She wanted to do _something_ noteworthy whilst she was around.

When she considered a life spent loving Haruka, she could say that she would be perfectly _happy_ about doing it, but she also felt like they could accomplish so much _more_ **together**. They could do something worthwhile, and then be remembered as having done something that _mattered_, during their lifetime. If they were to die, they could die safe with the knowledge that they had _done a good job_ in life.

She knew that Haruka would follow her anywhere, to the end of the world even… and that was one of the reasons why she loved him so much. Her mind immediately recalled conversations she'd had with Haruka about his interests in creating a future of peace between Humans and Vampires, how impassioned he'd been whilst speaking of his dream. Could this be their legacy? This was something Haruka said he truly wanted to see happen, so if her husband desired it, why not make it come true?

After all, they had all of eternity together to try to achieve his goal.

For this reason, the golden rings they wore now were not symbols of love for each other (they were already Bonded, how more devoted to each other could they get?), but promises to complete a wonderful life together, till the end of time if they lived that long, and to achieve the dream of peace within their lifetimes. To live an incredible life together – that was their promise.

She traced her ring lovingly, admiring the loveliness of it, though it was the simplest piece of jewellery she had ever owned. The Human marriage had been a short exchange of vows, a sweet kiss and then they had proceeded to Bond. Then she placed her hand on the hilt of the dagger at her waist. It smelt like the delicious blend of her and Haruka's bloods mixed together…

Wonderful.

The day was simply wonderful.

Juri smiled blissfully. She would be a bewitching sight to anyone who may have laid an eye on her at that moment, but right then, she was all alone. Waiting for Haruka.

Haruka had slipped back into the castle to retrieve a parasol and some protective cream (and Juri's favourite sunny yellow lemon cream pie, as requested by his new wife. It would take some time to obtain this from their fussy cook), since Juri insisted that she wanted them to greet the sun, for the first time as husband and wife. The red Harvest Moon had already descended, and the brighter light of the sun was beginning to peek over the mountain tops.

One of Juri's latest obsessions was observing the change between night and day. Bemused, but also enchanted as always, Haruka indulged her interests (as always) and often joined her now, sitting with her as they watched the sky become bright or dark, depending on the time of day. He insisted that she was being quite romantic, while _she_ maintained that her interest was purely _scientific_, so – **no** – the reasons for her latest interest was **not** because she wanted to sit by Haruka's side whilst they admired the rising sun spilling its light into the scenery, glossing everything in bright, bright light and warming the landscape wherever it could reach –

No. It was all about observation. She wasn't a lovey-dovey sap like Haruka, who thought that watching sunrises together was _romantic_. Sheesh.

The wedding after-party was drawing to an end, but they had escaped well before then, wanting to flee from the never-ending torrent of useless chatter they were obligated to take part in and instead enjoy some quality time together. The buzz of being newly-weds was still causing Juri to let out occasional flustered giggles and pat her heated cheeks.

She closed her eyes, taking in a deep steadying breath… and then bursting into giggles again. Her happiness was irrepressible. And she loved it.

With her eyes shut, she heard the sound of footsteps crunching the dried leaves and dewy grass, and she smiled welcomingly, reaching her arms out to receive her husband.

When she felt the weight fall on all fours on top of her delicately, so as to not crush her smaller body, she let out a shocked squeak. But she inwardly rolled her eyes. Typical. Even when he tried to surprise her, Haruka _always_ treated her like she was as delicate as fine china, even though he bruised more easily than her... She huffed.

"Just what do you think you're doing, Haru-" she opened her eyes, and her mouth stilled, the words dying in her throat in shock. "-ka… _Rido_?" she gasped, sitting up as he leant back on his ankles to let her do so, "_Rido-nii-sama_? You came?"

"I did," he answered, shooting her his charming crooked smile. She laughed breathily, wrapping her arms around him slowly, his arms sliding around her shoulders too. It had been so long that she had forgotten what it felt like to hold him in her arms. Thinking about all the time they'd spent apart made her eyes water slightly. So much time. So much of their lives spent apart, just because… just because…

"Where have you been?" she whispered, drawing back to brush some strands of hair out of his face tenderly, "We've missed you,"

It was then that she saw his gentleness change, in a split second. His eyes flashed.

Now when she looked back on it, it must have been at the mention of the word "we" that triggered the sudden change in his demeanour. Rido was reminded of his true motives in coming there.

"I've been travelling," he answered in a slight sneer, alarming her by his caustic tone, "All around the world… At first it was to forget my feelings for you, but the more I tried, the more I realised they would never fade. Juri," he leant down right near her ear, "I still want you,"

Tears spilled from her eyes then, when she realised that she and Haruka had been utterly wrong to think that he'd moved on. Rido was still in love with her. He hadn't stopped. Even though he was engaged to another… was that a distraction he made for himself? Was that a way he had tried to quell his desire for her – by trying to fall in love with another woman?

"Nii-sama…" she wept, sniffing delicately, "I'm sorry. I can't… I love you too, but…"

"But you don't love me enough," Rido accused lowly, bowing his head further, hiding his expression from her, "You don't love me as much as you do our darling brother,"

"I do!" she protested weakly, "But you _know _I love him differently. _Please_, Rido, please understand – we thought you'd moved on. I'm married, nii-sama. But I love you too. You know that," she said, struggling to stop her tears, "I love you. You're my brother, Rido-"

"So is he!" he yelled, suddenly clutching her shoulders and pinning her to the ground, "So is _**he**_, so what makes him better than me, hmm? Is it because he's always so fucking gentle to everyone? I don't see what _you_ see in him! That _boy_ is too soft. He's weak! He has no backbone, Juri. He'll fail as a King, _and_ as your lover in time-"

"Don't you dare say that!" she pushed against his chest angrily, slamming her fists on it, but he was unrelenting, "It's not true. Haruka has done nothing to you! You have no right in holding this **ridiculous **grudge against him! What's done is done. We've already Bonded, Rido," she urged him to understand, "Nothing you say will change my feelings for him. _We thought you __**accepted**__ this_-"

"I won't accept this," he snapped, "I will _**never**_ accept this!"

"Let it go," she begged, struggling to get him off of her, "Please. For me," she pleaded hopefully, "If you love me, you'd want me to be happy-"

"It doesn't matter whether you are happy or not. You belong to **me**," Rido roared, slamming her further into the grass. She flinched at his weight crushing her to the ground, "Haruka…" he spat, panting a little from all his pent up anger, "_Haruka_ get's everything. **Everything. **Father gave him the crown which should have been rightfully _mine_. And then he took…" he screwed up his eyes, baring his teeth as he threw his head back, he let out an enraged howl, "He will **pay** for taking you from me!"

This was where Juri began to really panic.

With all her strength, she tried pushing him off of her, thrashing about and even snapping her jaws threateningly at him. But Rido was just physically much larger and stronger than her. She didn't have a chance. Any powers she may use against him, he could easily counter.

That was why only Purebloods could kill Purebloods. They were equally matched, so those who had the upper-hand, literally had to have luck (or gravity) on their side. And since she was being pushed into the dirt, she had the lower-hand, she supposed. It was much more difficult to push him off of herself, than it was for him to bear down on her with his greater weight. Still, she managed to slip a hand into her robes sash, where the ceremonial dagger was snugly wedged. She tugged the dagger out, aiming it to his heart as a warning. Her eye were aflame with anger.

"I do not belong to you!" she yelled, thrashing violently as he began to kiss her face, "Get off me, Rido! Stop it! _Rido!"_ but he wouldn't listen. Even as she dragged the nails of her right hand all over his face, the wounds healed quickly and he barely flinched at the pain. She held the dagger up to his neck now, but her hands wavered. Could she do this? Could she kill her brother? Juri began to sob, not believing what was happening. Would he really do this to her? Could he? The one he supposedly loved so much – would he harm her just to hurt Haruka?

She couldn't believe…

"Stop it!" she cried, grappling with his hands as he tugged her head to the side and held her left wrist in his other hand, holding the hand holding the dagger to the floor. Her eyes widened when she suddenly realised what he was planning to do. "**No! **Please no! No, no, **NO!**"

And that was when his fangs, and even the rest of his teeth, sank into her milky soft skin – exactly in the same place where Haruka had Bitten her, only hours earlier.

The pain was unimaginable.

Unlike the small, careful sips of blood Haruka had taken from her, lovingly kissing the wounds later – Rido _tore_ her neck open and soaked the ground with it, uncaring that most of it was spilling, and gulped the blood down at a rapid pace. She felt herself becoming dizzy from the blood loss, the pale grey of the sky above them reflected in her glazed eye.

Juri's mouth fell open in a silent scream.

But beyond the physical pain was the dreadful feeling of her soul being stretched in two directions. The side that was Bonded to Haruka's soul was the side she held to in her own mind, begging Haruka to come save her, come _please save me Haru. Save me. Please –_

Whereas the other side was the side where a new Bond was forming, attaching a part of her soul to Rido's. Scorching tears poured out of her eyes as finally she screamed in agony. For all her life, she had been fought over by her two brothers, continually stretched like a rubber band between the two. But never had the feeling been as intense as this, as horrifying as this – she was sure she was going to snap. The soul is only ever meant to Bond once.

More than once, and it might be ripped in two, especially if one Bond was greater than the other. They would be at war inside her soul, fighting to have her… fighting to have her take one side over the other.

Her fingers squeezed the dagger like a lifeline as she struggled to remain conscious.

_Save me._

It felt like Haruka's Bond was a hand she was holding onto as she hung on the edge of insanity, and if she held on tight enough, he could keep her safe and bring her back to happiness. Rido's Bond was like a scorching whip, coiled around her ankle, dragging her down into a dark, dark abyss…

She felt like…

She was holding Haruka's hand.

_Don't let go. Don't let go of me, Haru._

_Please, don't let go._

_Please –_

She wasn't going to make it.

"_**HARUKA!**_"

* * *

><p><em>Our marriage was what must have sent him over the edge. Honestly, I do not remember most of what happened after the attack. All I know is he left me half-way to death – drained almost to my Life-blood. Half of me is now his. I can still feel his Bite on my neck, and it burns like a poison… <em>

_I still struggle to believe what has happened._

_Haru arrived just in time to tear Rido off me, but then he fled and Haru carried me into the castle. The rest was dealt with in the Infirmary. I was healed by Haru's blood. Buthe kept rocking me in his arms, apologising again and again and saying that I'd be alright. _

_He blames himself for not being there. I keep telling him that he _was_ there with me. In my hand. My dagger._

_How can I ever recover when… when my very soul has been torn in two? I can't sleep anymore. Every time I close my eyes I remember the pain of Rido's fangs that tore me open, the sound of my own screams as the Bond snapped into place. _

_When Haru spoke to me, I saw how he tried to empathise with Rido in the usual way he does, by his all-forgiving nature. I love his compassion, but I just couldn't help but be _angry_ with him. He has no idea how much that hurt me, to see him "understanding" that man. Rido is no longer a brother to me. Haruka assumes that I can just forgive and forget. To _forgive_ Rido, because obviously we had been wrong in assuming he had recovered from my rejection, and in a way, our marriage must have been part of the cause of this incident. To _forget_, because I am only harming myself by holding onto these terrible memories._

_But I can't forgive. Neither can I forget. _

_I will never forget._

_Haru says that he wants nothing more than to go after Rido, but he cannot leave the throne, especially since he's just been made King. I told him that I will go after him, but he refused to let me. How much longer will he force me to stay imprisoned here in our home? It's driving me mad. He wants me safe, but I don't feel safe in my own mind anymore. I need to see Rido dead. I need to kill of that part of me that he stole, the part that stays within him. By this dagger, I swear I will kill him someday._

_Haru says he's not sure what will happen if we eventually kill Rido. My life is his now. If he was to come back a different man, having realised the errors of his ways, then Haru says we will have to forgive him and move on. Give him a second chance. _

_Because it was our love which caused him his pain._

_Even though I have renounced my relation to Rido, Haruka holds on. This is the dark side to his innocence. He will never believe Rido is lost to us. He will never shun someone, no matter what blows he has been dealt by them. Because Haru believes in the principles of giving second chances. _

_I… I love Haru so much. Rido's right. It's his benevolence, his unshakeable belief in goodness and mercy which inspires me so much. I just wish that he would understand. This is the first thing that we disagree on. This is the first time where I feel like he doesn't understand me at all. My anger is unfathomable, untameable – as profound as my love for Haruka is._

_What I still can't understand is why _he_ would do that to me. If he loved me, truly loved me, why would he want to cause me such pain? Love isn't selfish. You're meant to want what your love wants, you're meant to want their happiness. If Rido believes that he can love me without caring about my happiness... What kind of a love is that?_

_Sometimes I think that he never loved me. _

_Haru._

_I wish this had never happened. _

_I wish I was yours completely._

_I wish…_

* * *

><p>Even though Juri sought refuge in Haruka's comfort, and was mostly healed by his unfailing loyalty and patience, over the centuries he felt her fragile hold on life began to weaken even more.<p>

She was losing herself.

As her soul was torn, she clung to him in the hope that their love would be enough to save her. But even then he could see how far the damage went, and how it would progress till it would eventually destroy her completely.

Never had Haruka been as frightened as he was then.

Juri was someone irreplaceable. She was the very breath of life inside him, and she was fading.

He had to save her, somehow, some way – whatever way was needed, he had to. He hated the barrier that was now between them. She hid herself from him sometimes… behind a smile, a small shake of her head, a well-placed joke… She was hiding her pain, and her anger, and all the bitterness he knew she felt… that he had not been there to save her.

He hated it.

Juri wasn't meant to hide. She was meant to shine.

Rido had destroyed her already. Damaged her beyond repair.

Haru meant to hate him, he wanted to hate his brother, but… there was always this tiny voice in his head which told him to forgive. It was the role of a younger brother to look up to his older brother, wasn't it? He remembered when they were young, before Juri's birth, Rido had been the best brother he could have asked for. They were as close as brothers could be. Sweet memories were imprinted in Haruka's mind of the days when time spent with Rido was golden. They were just as precious to him, as a reminder that they were family.

They were always family.

But for Juri… He had to do something to save Juri right now. Rido wasn't in the picture anymore.

000

Drumming his fingers on his tensed thigh, he counted the breaths he drew, blowing the dust from the door jamb. He had been studying the grain of the wood underneath the layer of the dust for the past hour, anxiously hanging around the closed door with hope heavy in his heart. He knew she could sense him there (or at least she was able to, if she was). Should he disturb her? Would she even recognise him anymore?

It had been… it had been… he couldn't remember how long it had been since he'd last seen her, outside in the gardens, sprinting around the grounds, dancing in the rain…

His hand tightened, making the paper rustle.

With a deep breath, he pushed open the door.

And there she was. Sitting on the edge of the bed, on the side facing the window. It made his heart stutter when he saw how tragic a picture she made – sitting so she may see out the window, to the western gardens, which were full in bloom. He knew that she would sit there listlessly and watch the sun set every day, still as a statue, unblinking…

(Almost dead.)

She still wore the burgundy party dress from ages ago – the party he'd dragged her to attend. The event had almost been a disaster. Their people had been horrified to see their Queen looking so pale and sickly. The crown on her head even fell, tipping to the side when he'd taken her to dance and she'd _stumbled_.

God forbid. She'd _stumbled_.

He'd had to excuse her early, and even then she had barely reacted to his flustered, clipped scolding and then his eventual torrent of apologies and pleading. (Pleading for her to forgive **him**, if not Rido.)

The burgundy made her look all the more pale and ghostly. But he still thought her beautiful…

Juri's hair was half-braided, but otherwise a mess. Just as messy and wild as the gardens she stared at. The Western gardens. She almost threw a fit when he'd suggested getting the groundskeeper to tame it a little. "_Let it grow like it wants to,"_ she'd insisted, shooting him the first glare in a while that held an ounce of her usual fire in it. He'd been incessant ever since on shooing the groundskeepers away from this precious jungle ground. Even though it was an eyesore to him, Juri wanted it kept wild. _Let it grow_, she said. _Let it fester_, he heard.

He had no qualms that despite her lacklustre appearance, Juri still harboured an irrepressible hate and hunger for revenge that was just as feral as the gardens.

Haruka approached her slowly, swinging his hand up to her line of vision smoothly. (His eyes briefly glanced over his wedding ring – his eyes sparkled. It had been a promise to-) At first she paid him no attention, as expected. He even called her name a few times, but she didn't respond.

His eyes ran over her again, falling on the dagger, lying innocently to the side. His jaw tightened, and he called her name again.

It was the scent of the roses in his hand which caught her attention.

Juri blinked slowly, wetting her bloodshot eyes, as she regarded the deep red, velvety roses held in her husband's hand. She was actually _looking_ at it, not staring at it blandly. This excited Haruka, and so he stepped cautiously closer, touching the edges of the petals to her face, caressing her face with them. She sniffed.

And she took the bouquet, carefully placing it on her lap as she fingered the delicate rose heads and stroked the buds into opening. A smile blossomed on his lips as he watched the buds spread open, and the virgin flowers unfurl a vivid red. Juri loved roses dearly. They were her favourite, and he hoped she remembered that. She touched them to her lips, and then her nose contemplatively.

Haruka let out a small, dry chuckle, startling her from her reverie.

"Careful, you're beginning to look like Miss Havisham* in this place,"

Immediately he wished he had not said these words. Tactless. He knew in her right mind, she would only take his remark as a plain joke, and it would roll off her like nothing. But perhaps this wasn't the best thing he could have said.

Juri's impassive stare unsettled him, and his lips flapped as he hopelessly tried to fix what he had said.

"I know how Miss Havisham feels," was all she said, turning back studiously to the roses.

Haruka's eyes followed her hands which now traced the strong stems of the roses, de-thorned by himself. It had taken twenty-one minutes to do that.

He caught her hand.

"J-Juri," his voice cracked as he knelt in front of her, "I beg you, please. Please could you come out with me? My love, you're so, so pale…"

She only glanced at him once, and returned to her roses.

"Please," he repeated earnestly, reaching up to turn her face to his. Her eyes were still fixed on the roses, which he was beginning to regret bringing with him, "Look at me. You can't keep doing this. You're hurting yourself, and you're hurting _me_ too, Juri,"

Haruka fiddled with her tiny hand, caressing the soft, dry skin. It rustled under his touch like paper. She was physically turning into _dust_. It was amazing what grief could do to a person.

"Isn't there anything…"he bent his head to kiss her papery hand, peering up at her from his lowered position desperately," Isn't there _anything_ I can do to help you, my love?" he pulled her hand up to his face, worriedly examining the way her wedding ring was now too loose on her finger. She was losing weight too. When had she last eaten?

The ring. A promise.

Haruka's eyes began to fill with tears again.

This was the cycle: whenever he came to reason with her, she would remain indifferent, and he would sink into despair.

"_Juri,_" he begged, "I'm here. For you. I'm still here. I'll _always_ be here for you. Isn't that enough?"

She only blinked.

"Juri…" he groaned, resting his head on her knee as he bowed to her unrelenting apathy. His voice was muffled in her dress, "Where is the girl I fell in love with…?"

For a while, Haruka kept his face hidden, not wanting her to see how much he was crying. His eyes always felt dry, so where did all these tears keep coming from? They seemed to be endless.

He repressed his heavy sobs with small shivers instead, pathetically clinging to her leg as he struggled to control his misery. His broken wife. His broken wife…

Then he felt something cool land on his neck, something soft falling into the gap between his neck and shoulder blades, slipping under his collar and down his back. He lifted his head, feeling that something brush his face now, against his cheekbone.

Haruka gasped.

The roses. The petals were everywhere. Torn from the stems, scattered around them _everywhere_.

Destroyed.

"You're always there, Haruka,"

He turned back to his wife, who fingered the empty stems idly, eyes fixed elsewhere. He couldn't believe it. She had just destroyed –

"But you weren't there _then_,"

It suddenly clicked. It all fell into place, just like that.

Haruka knew how to fix this.

He took her other hand in his and brought both of them to his lips, where he pressed soft kisses to her knuckles. _All this time_… all this time she had been keeping this from him – her true feelings of what had happened. Perhaps the anger at Rido was still there, and her self-disgust lingered, but the one thing she had never revealed to him was how she felt about _**him**_. He guessed she didn't want to appear resentful of him, she didn't want to push away the only person she had left, the person who had always loved her, _just_ because she couldn't let go of the fact that he hadn't been there for her when she needed him the most.

He hadn't been there to protect her in her moment of need, to save her…

And she couldn't help but blame him for it.

Haruka supposed he should be angry at her for holding this from him, or at the least, for blaming him for something beyond his control.

But he wasn't angry. He wasn't even sad.

He was relieved.

If this was what she had feared telling him all this time – she'd just overcome her fear. Maybe she'd hit rock-bottom, and she couldn't take it anymore. She couldn't stand to keep her last secret from him, even if it might destroy them both, because she was just beyond caring anymore.

He could take her resentment, her hate and her stubborn stubbornness. He could take it all with a smile, and still love her, and never **stop** loving her, because…

…because he'd already been through all of that before, **for her**. Many, many times. He'd gone through bearing the brunt of the harsher, crueller side of her personality a long time ago, when she had rejected him repeatedly as he doggedly tried to win her love the first time round. And he had never given up, despite the difficulties he'd faced, even though battling her mulish denial was sometimes an exhausting task.

If she'd lost all love for him, well…

…he'd just have to do it all again.

"I'll be here for you _forever_, Juri," his voice shook with emotion, and he tilted his head back to let her see the tears spill on his cheeks as he kissed her wedding ring, "I promise you. Forever. If you don't trust me, I know what we can do for you to believe me," he rose to lean over and whisper in her ear, "I'll give you a child. Juri, would you like to have my child? A baby for us. Our own," he kissed her ear tenderly, "What do you say, my love?"

He held still, unmoving as he awaited her decision. In hindsight, Haruka again realised he may have been rather tactless with his wording. She might think the worst of him now. Maybe she thought he just wanted an heir from her, but honestly he saw having a child was a wonderful solution to all their troubles. What joy a child brings… surely it would soften her heart once more, to receive and give love freely like she used to. They had always wanted to build a family together, but because of the Incident which ruined their plans, they hadn't gotten round to it yet.

Reminding her of their hopes, their dreams… he hoped she would come back to him. _A promise_.

He remembered the promise they'd made with these rings.

"H-Haru…"

Haruka's eyes shot up to hers, and a broad grin spread on his face when he recognised the same sweet, sweet adoration reflected in her eyes. There was a mist in her eyes, like she was waking from a dream (or a nightmare), shaking off the remnants of the misery she'd been caught in. Her lips trembled as she tried to smile back at him.

His heart thumped happily as her fingers curled tighter around his own.

He watched with tender eyes as she looked down at their hands, and then around them, at the mess of rose petals. Her eyes widened in shock, but he soothed her by rubbing circles gently with his thumbs.

"Where did you get the roses from?" she asked quietly, timidly eyeing the massacre of them surrounding them. "We don't have any roses. There aren't any roses-"

"I grew them," his eyes twinkled, enjoying the surprise on her face, and then the sceptical twitch of her lips, "I _did_. I really did,"

She bit her lip apologetically, hanging her head in shame, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry-"

"Shh, enough," he chided softly, moving to pull her down onto the floor with him. "There are plenty more roses. Let me show you," Haruka laid her in his arms so her head was tucked under his chin, and then he lifted them both as he stood. In surprise, Juri dropped the rose stalks and clung to him. He chuckled as she squawked.

"Hey!" she croaked, her voice unused to the strains of emotion. "Put me down!"

He laughed louder, lighter, feeling even as he carried her weight (she weighed far more than she looked) that a weight had been lifted from him. He felt like he could run around the world just from the energy he'd gained, winning back his wife. This feeling… this feeling of love was so _powerful_.

He didn't know how he'd coped without it for so long.

He never wanted to again.

"Where are we going?"

"To the southern gardens," he dropped a kiss to her head.

She raised an eyebrow at him, "There _are_ no southern gardens, Haru," – ah, he loved how she said his name – "Where are you taking me-"

"I've made you something," he insisted, gracing her with a rather mischievous smile, "A present. A surprise,"

She groaned, but – but his heart skipped when she _smiled_ so brightly at him. It was the tiniest and mightiest smile he had ever seen on her, and he adored it. So he kissed her nose this time.

He had made her a surprise in he'd been waiting for her to return. A garden, just for her. When he'd said there were plenty more roses, he **really** meant there were plenty more. How many years had he been waiting for her return? You'd have to count the roses.

Haruka's smile could have lit half the world when they reached the garden and Juri tumbled out of his arms in her mad scramble to explore it. Her chirps and squeals and _laughter_ and **joy** were infectious, and soon he couldn't help himself. He caught her round the waist and spun her round, laughing all the while.

Juri spun around the area, waving her arms as if she was swimming in the sweet scented air, and she fell in his arms again, to kiss him again, and again, and again.

Haruka watched her as she fell in love with the garden, and then looked at him with equal adoration, if not borderline reverence. The happiness – it dusted her cheeks pinkly and lit her eyes. She looked _young_ again. Youthful and joyous.

He knew that they were still only at the start of recovery, but **this** was the girl he'd fallen for. **This** was his Juri, the light of his world, the girl who shone with the very blaze of the Sun.

* * *

><p><em>Our child will be named "Kaname". When we were hunting for names for our little boy, Haru insisted he wanted something traditional, whilst I wanted something new. He wants to name him "Kichinosuke" which means "Joy", but sounds so old! He has horrible taste, so I was left, with my huge belly, to scavenge the library for ideas. <em>

_I came across some of our Ancestors' records, and out of both interest and boredom (being pregnant is boring) I read all the way back to the very origins of our line. _

_The Original King, the very first Vampire, was called "Kaname"._

_When I told the name to Haru, he agreed that it sounds like a good name (and it came from an Ancestor, so you can't get more traditional than that!). I like it. I really do._

_Oh baby, I cannot wait to hold you._

_Happiness has returned to me, as well as hope._

_This child will be the start of something new. Like our Ancestor, I'm sure Kaname will be extraordinary. Haru agrees that he will be our saviour, our little hero. He is ours, and I can't help but love that he is entirely ours. Baby, baby, mama loves you!_

_The start of something new… _

* * *

><p>Juri held onto her little child tightly, but gently enough that he slept on peacefully. A torrent of tears cascaded down both of the proud parents' faces as they admired the red cheeks and everything little and sweet about their perfect baby. Baby Kaname.<p>

Haruka planted kisses on both of their faces, laughing as Kaname batted his chin away with his tiny, moist fist.

The sight of them made Juri whimper as more tears just kept coming in waves, and Haruka laughed again, joyously.

Nothing would take this from her now. She was sure of it. This was **her** family. This was **their** child.

(Not a trace of Rido in him, as she had feared constantly during the pregnancy. No. Kaname had opened his eyes before to show two deep wine red eyes that regarded them with an edge of Juri's fire. Already he looked like his father – almost exactly like what she remembered Haruka had looked like with baby fat and rosy cheeks – which Juri teased Haruka about till he turned pink.)

This blissful memory would shine in her mind as the most beautiful, most perfect day. She will look back to this memory on the days when she slipped back into the darkness of the past (as she still did, often), because this was powerful and bright, and would lead her back to happiness. This was something precious that she could hold onto, and protect.

She would protect them with her life.

And Rido would **never** be able to take them away from her again.


	78. Empathy

**Author's Note:**

**Hey guys. I'm really terribly sorry about the long wait. This is the nightmare season – I have so little time to write now – personal statement for uni, **_**choosing**_** uni, frantic founders' day orchestra practises, after school life drawing course (ewww), music practise, tests, on top of this all – **_**homework…**_

**I'm not exaggerating when I say that I'm finding it difficult to sleep. There are so many things going on in my head! More often than not, I am still thinking about this story – where I left the plot, and where it is going. I worry about whether you're all upset with me for not being as diligent with updates as I used to be. I'm sorry. TT_TT **

**I just need you to be understanding (which you already are, I 3 U ALL!) to the massive slow-down in updated chapters. They won't come per day, or per few days for a while. I'm very sorry that you have all enjoyed having daily chapters, and now it's not going to be like that, but I swear, as soon as half-term comes I will type them out as fast as I can!**

**When I began this story, I initially expected myself to have finished by the end of summer (haha…), but as you can see, as it has evolved and grown beyond what I could have ever predicted – it's like some sort of… Godzilla-baby. Unstoppable. It doesn't stop growing (though the end is now in sight, guys!). I don't want to rush it, above all, because then this will all have been a waste… **

**Thank you for reading. I love your reviews, and your perseverance.**

**Btw, this chapter IMO is incredible cheese. I found it difficult to write, but ultimately, I think it makes up for it cos of the KZ-ness of it. Enjoy!**

* * *

><p><em>Nothing can be loved or hated unless it is first understood <em>

_~ Leonardo da Vinci_

* * *

><p>By the time Ruka had finished recounting the hidden entries, a rather dense depressing atmosphere hung over them. The tale of the Kuran siblings was bittersweet, how the relationship between the three siblings soured over time and love ended up destroying them in the end... In the entries around and after Haruka's suggestion of starting a family, she had written almost nothing about the precious dagger which had once been the lifeline to her sanity. Instead she centred her world around her husband and children, Kaname and Yuuki.<p>

Ruka told them it wasn't till Rido's reappearance and the kidnapping of Kaname when Juri returned to being fearful, and wrote of the dagger once more.

The Weapon was the ceremonial dagger – which meant the one Kaname used in the Coronation must have been some sort of a replica…

"Kuran Kaname was so **loved**," a voice airily remarked in a somewhat wistful manner, cutting through Zero's pondering. Zero lifted his head and found his cheeks flushing and his stomach curling at the mesmerising sight of Kaname's heartrending expression. His eyes were barely moist – only his tightened jaw and evasive stare revealed how _hurt_ he was by… by…

Then Zero realised that Kaname had spoken as though he was referring to himself in second-person…

But in fact, he wasn't referring to himself at all.

Sometimes Zero forgot that the Kaname **he** knew _wasn't _**Kuran** Kaname, but in fact Kaname "_the Ancestor_".

"Pardon me," the King excused himself in the same quiet voice, rising from his seat. He would have been the picture-perfect example of graceful nonchalance with his carefully constructed neutral expression, had he not then crossed the room stiffly without looking at any of them. Zero bit his lip. As soon as Kaname had stood up to leave, he recalled their Bond, and how much shorter was it now…

"Nii-sama…" Yuuki uttered quietly, the only one of Kaname's followers who made to question his leave. Zero noted the others all perched in their seats – clearly longing to go after their leader, but bound by their Vampire etiquette to not intrude on _his_ decisions – it wasn't lack of effort or care for their leader. He was much beloved by all of them. It was simply the rule that if Kaname wanted to leave, he would leave. If he wanted to be alone, they would have to let him alone. Only Yuuki, the only other Pureblood in the room with equivalent status to Kaname could _dare_ to impede him.

Zero's jaw dropped when he saw Kaname brush off his dear sister's concern without even batting an eyelid, or pausing to shoot her a reassuring smile. He simply **left**.

He then realised how deeply hurt Kaname must really be, to ignore his precious Yuuki like that. His body language hadn't showed he was trying to be intentionally cruel by rejecting her concern. Rather, his body had been slightly tipped forwards with the type of urgency which told Zero that he just wanted to leave the room _fast_. He wanted to escape the sharp scrutiny of his too-concerned friends' eyes, especially since his usual collected conduct was worsening by the second.

As soon as the door shut, Zero lifted himself onto his feet too, slowly, as though it would draw less attention to himself. Of course, it didn't. With the others' eyes all on him now, he bowed his head so that they couldn't see the mixture of embarrassment and regret on his face. All of them (apart from Ichiru) knew about his and Kaname's Bond. Zero didn't know much about Vampire culture, but it wasn't difficult to pick up on the fact that Bonding was a **huge** deal. It implied incredible intimacy and remarkable trust between two individuals – because you were, of course, Binding your own life and soul to another person.

It wasn't lost on Zero either the implications of following Kaname might mean that he actually _cared_ about him (**him** – the Hunter who had previously loathed Kaname with every atom of his being. As he looked back over it, the extreme change in their relationship truly amazed Zero).

The truth was, he really _did_ care about Kaname (as a friend). It was impossible now to deny it.

But not… _intimately_. Not in the way a Bond was traditionally meant to be used (a.k.a. deeper than _marriage_).

Zero could always choose not to follow Kaname. He could sit back down on the sofa and ignore the Bond, and the fact that Kaname had put himself in even _more_ pain now by breaking from its limits.

He could choose to leave Kaname to suffer the Bond's wrath.

But **could** he leave Kaname like this? After seeing his broken expression (which had looked worse in his opinion, than if he had been _crying_) from learning of his mother's tragic demise, and the unnamed guilt Kaname wore on his face, and the way his usual arrogance was torn away to reveal him a troubled, heartbroken child…

Could he **really** stomach the thought of inflicting more suffering on his **friend**, just because he had the power to? Just because he and Kaname hadn't been friends for long… and the people in the room with him probably still thought he hated Kaname's guts. It would fit in with their expectations for him to be the cruel, hateful Hunter and to… stay there.

Zero bit his lip and proceeded to follow Kaname just as briskly out of the room, not even raising his head or faltering when he heard Ichiru's bewildered voice call, "_Nii-san_!" Ichiru didn't know. Ichiru didn't _know_ that his brother was Bonded to a _Pureblood_. He wrinkled his nose, cringing as he passed him, but otherwise didn't show any response.

(Mortifying. He absolutely had no idea how he was going to be able to explain this to Ichiru at a later point without _freaking out_. Already he was anticipating a mega lecture about how "Hunters do **not** Bond their souls to Purebloods, nii-san! Are you **insane**?" that he was going to receive)

He shut the door firmly behind him, blocking out what he thought he'd heard was a concerned cry as he raced down the corridor. As fast as his weary body could allow, he rushed on, tracking the lingering daubs of Kaname's scent dotted on the walls like a dog (it smelt as if, every dozen metres or so, heavy-hearted Kaname had had to stop and lean against a wall to steady himself). He really hoped that Ichiru wouldn't follow after him – this pushed him to move faster, darting anxious glances over his shoulder. The parlour door remained shut, yet he could still hear the others talking loudly behind it. Above all the voices, he could just make out Ichiru's muffled voice call for him again, which actually began to make him _sweat_ a little, from the stressful decision he'd made to _ignore Ichiru for now_ (in _Kaname's_ interests).

The direction he was going lead back to Kaname's room. He could only imagine that Kaname wanted to retreat to the place he felt most secure, most comforted, where he hoped no one would dare to disturb him in his moment of weakness.

Boy, was he in for a surprise.

He spotted Kaname's closed door, and approached it precariously. Maybe he had been wrong in coming after Kaname. Somehow the shut door was immobilising and reminded him that Kaname would very clearly like to be _alone_. He might not appreciate Zero's imposition… But he also reminded himself that he had come to alleviate the Bond's **wrath**. All he was giving Kaname was his presence to perhaps relieve Kaname a little of _one _pain...

He could just… he could just open the door, and go sit near Kaname. He wouldn't have to do anything else. He could just sit there and let the Bond relax between them to ease Kaname's pain.

He slowly turned the doorknob, pushing the door ever so gradually open and wincing as it began to creak on its hinges. But the Pureblood pacing inside the room didn't seem to notice him at all. Was he so lost in his melancholy that he couldn't even detect an intruder in his room?

Zero shut the door behind him with an audible _clunk!_ but still Kaname didn't lift his head. He watched the troubled King pace once more, up and down the foot of his bed, till he drew to a stop facing the other side –

_Isamu frowns, watching his friend pace again and again, up and down, up and down… it was the strangest thing to see, and made him feel oddly restless too. He knew that Kaname liked to pace for hours, just to clear his head and calm himself. It was like a meditation to him. He found it comforting. Kaname once told him the repetitive motion soothed him because it reminded him of the long nights when Isamu had been much younger (only a "babe", he claimed – only _five years old_ in reality) and he had adamantly refused to go to sleep, so Kaname had had to walk with him in his arms, rocking and bobbing him indulgently to urge him to sleep. Isamu couldn't remember those nights at all anymore. That had been at least four years ago, when he had been a tiny tot._

_He was nine now. Almost a _man_._

_He squatted in the doorway, dwarfed in his new night clothes as he sunk to his knees to watch his friend pacing with deep interest. _

_Nothing apart from the occasional grunts and faltering steps betrayed Kaname's inner turmoil. It was nothing new to Isamu to know that Kaname tried far too hard to remain above showing any weakness. But when the moon beams caught on a grimace on Kaname's face – that was when he knew that this time, something was wrong._

_Kaname's face showed pain – pain beyond what he was able to conceal. _

_It leaked through his mask, revealed in the too-bright gleam of his wetted eyes, the minute downwards curve of his lips and pinched brow. _

_Isamu rose to his feet slowly, not wanting to startle Kaname._

_Then he spoke softly, "Kaname?"_

_That caused Kaname to jump an inch off the ground in shock, which would have made Isamu laugh, had he not spun around to show him such a distraught expression on his face. Luckily Kaname hadn't accidentally set anything alight, apparently too deep in his sorrow to even be able to summon his powers._

"_Isamu," Kaname strode over to the door, making Isamu flinch slightly when he was hoisted into the air. His legs coiled comfortably around Kaname's hips, since he was just small enough to be carried like this. "What are you doing out of bed? You're meant to be sleeping,"_

"_I heard you pacing," the young boy explained, resting his tired head against his shoulder, "From next door," and then Kaname understood him, and hummed guiltily. Ever since Kaname had moved out of the Kiryuu's house, Isamu had taken to sneaking out of his house and into Kaname's several times a week, usually due to nightmares (but sometimes just because he missed him)._

"_I'm fine," he crooned, affectionately nuzzling Isamu's hair and setting him back on the floor, "Go back. You should be in bed,"_

_The little boy tilted his head slowly, "Not until you tell me what's wrong,"_

_Kaname's stiff appearance softened marginally, yet he shook his head firmly, lips tight._

_Isamu folded his arms petulantly with a huff, "Who else can you talk to, if not me?"_

_Kaname sighed, "No one," _

_Isamu scowled, "Tell me," he repeated, more sensitively, giving Kaname a last chance to speak to him. The young boy had become increasingly curious and keen to know what mysteries Kaname kept hidden in his mind over the years, yet he was also learning incredibly fast the boundaries of how far he could push Kaname till he would clam up, and not even Isamu's persistent begging could persuade him to open up._

_Sometimes when it reached this point, Kaname would simply walk away, and not return for days._

"_I can't," _

_Kaname's voice was very small as he lifted Isamu up again, moving to take him back to his house. He felt tears burn his eyes as Isamu's little body slumped against him in defeat, knowing that Isamu had learnt well and would push Kaname no further. Oddly, a part of Kaname wanted Isamu to persist. To not give up, because no one else was as determined as Isamu. If he didn't push Kaname, no one would. No one would understand him. No one would… _

_It was his own fault though, for training Isamu not to pry into his mind. It was for the best, because he didn't want Isamu to ever discover his evil thoughts. It was his own fault that he was now left alone to his own wretched mind. He had made it so. _

_Sometimes… Kaname wished Isamu would grow up faster, so he could talk to somebody. There was a darkness lurking in Kaname's heart which was feasting on his mind and it __**frightened **__him. It wasn't just the blood hunger anymore, it was something else. Something darker. Perhaps it was his __**Vampirism**__, the part of him he tried to __**hide**__, which wanted to break free… he was scared of it. He wanted desperately to talk to __**somebody, **__to have somebody to comfort him. But how could dare seek comfort from a child? It must be a sin to try to alleviate his own burdens by sharing them with a child – like tying a heavy stone to a free-flying kite. He wanted to preserve Isamu's childhood. He wanted Isamu to stay young and carefree for a __**long**__ time, for as long as he could…_

_At Isamu's front door, Kaname and he stood side by side in a tense silence. The small boy made no move to enter his house, and Kaname made no move to leave. It was like they were waiting for one of them to move to leave the other, with neither of them wanted to be that person._

_Finally Isamu stepped towards his door, and instantly the words spilt out of Kaname's mouth before he could think them._

"_You won't understand," he blurted, catching Isamu by surprise. The small boy hurried back to Kaname eagerly, tilting his head questioningly and melting his heart. Kaname shut his eyes, "You're still too young. You don't understand, just like the others. None of you understand. I am… alone in the world, even with all you around me. They don't know, Isamu, you don't know…" what it's like to be __**different**__. _

_Kaname sucked in a shuddering breath, "I try so hard… I want to be like you so much. But it's so difficult. Sometimes I wish I was Human. It would make things so much easier… But I am not, nor can I ever be. No matter how much I wish it, I do not belong here. I feel __**dangerous**__, and it's not just my thirst anymore, Isamu… I should leave, and yet, I cannot bear to leave you…"_

_What Kaname couldn't see was the effect his words had on Isamu – the angry tears that tracked his round face. He didn't understand? He understood Kaname better than anyone else. How could he say such a thing, when he never gave him a chance? Isamu had only ever asked to understand more, to understand _better._ He begged so often for Kaname to share his troubles with him, he offered his ears to him more times than he could count. But Kaname wouldn't give in. If Kaname didn't speak, how then could he listen? How could he possibly understand?_

_It wasn't fair for Kaname to say that. _

_His hands curled into tight fists, and he scrubbed his eyes with one of them before striding to his house with his head hung in regret. Ever since he had started growing up, their relationship had become strained and more difficult. There was a misunderstanding between them, or something. A wall constructed by their differences. _

_When the door clicked shut, Kaname opened his eyes and found himself __**alone**__. His heart clenched, but he taught _himself_ to understand. He must get used to this... to the loneliness. Isamu may be different to all the other people in his life. He may be far more intelligent, empathetic and kind to Kaname than anyone else. But in the end, he would not speak to him. In the end, Isamu was best kept the way he was – not understanding Kaname's true nature._

_But in the end, Isamu was still a child. And in the end, he was still _Human_. _

– facing away from Zero.

Zero found his mouth hung open, so he shut it quickly. That had completely taken him by surprise, the suddenness and clarity of this memory. He could certainly see how the current situation he was in might have sparked it, it was uncannily similar to that memory:

Kaname, facing away from him. Lost in some sort of grief…

But why did these memories keep attacking his mind? They were getting longer, far more substantial than they had been before.

He took a hesitant half-step forwards, remembering the caution that Isamu had applied when making to startle Kaname out of his thoughts.

Then, like his past-self, he licked his lips to speak softly and carefully…

"K-Kaname?"

* * *

><p>"I-Isamu, go back to bed…"<p>

_Isamu?_

His heart sunk in dismay. Had Kaname _just _called him…Isamu?

Zero squeezed his left, bruised wrist tightly and glared at Kaname's back.

How could Kaname be so trapped in despair that he couldn't even tell he wasn't…

_Isamu._

Could Kaname be thinking of the exact same memory he had just recalled? Maybe the likeness of their situation to back then was not lost on him.

Sighing heavily, Zero strode further into the room and seated himself on the foot of Kaname's bed, deliberately squeaking the bed springs to alert Kaname that his order had **not** been taken. The Pureblood grunted slightly, clearly displeased by Zero's disturbance.

Zero watched carefully as Kaname took a couple of seconds to compose himself before turning back to him. He timed it so that as Kaname turned, he wasn't looking at him, not wanting to seem as if he _had_ been watching him. He heard Kaname take unsteady steps to his side. They waited in silence for a good three minutes or so, the only sound being their breathing and the creak of the bed springs as Zero adjusted himself nervously.

"What I said… I'm really sorry,"

"Hmm?" Zero finally looked up at his friend, and tried not to react to Kaname's strikingly tragic beauty. Even though he was decidedly not at his best, he was still absolutely stunning, and Zero would have to be blind not to see that.

The faint reddened rims of his eyelids only complimented the swimming claret of his eyes, and the tip of his nose was also tinged pink. In contrast to Kaname's perfectly sharp features, these delicate touches of rosy skin softened his face, and were rather _charming_.

"I was caught up in my thoughts, I didn't mean to call you…" _Isamu_.

"Ah," Zero nodded curtly, shaking himself from the captivating picture of Kaname's face. What was he doing? He pulled on a small reassuring smile, "It's fine. It was just a… mix-up,"

"Yes," Kaname agreed gratefully, returning a much weaker smile, "A mistake. I hope I haven't offended you,"

"Oh no, no…"

Yes, yes…

The air between them was uncomfortably tense.

Zero cleared his throat, shuffling a little to the side to make room for Kaname to sit beside him (even though there was still plenty of space either side of him anyway). It was the gesture which counted, he supposed.

With a small sound of thanks, Kaname took the seat and they found their shoulders brushing.

Zero jerked from the touch, but then settled. Kaname's shoulder radiated heat nicely, but he made sure that he didn't lean too close to him.

He went with his earlier set plans, sitting mutely and impassively. It was difficult to ignore Kaname's tense posture, and how his eyes darted to him every now and again, but this was necessary for the **plan**. It was a tough-love strategy (not very surprising, knowing what his sensei was like). The key to remember was that Kaname was too _proud _and too much of a damn _masochist_ (or he was trying to atone for whatever bloody guilt he held). Zero had a strategy though, which was designed to work around this: give Kaname room to breathe, to think and wallow in his self-misery (pity) long enough until he thought he'd suffered enough. Eventually his masochism would be worn down and attention-seeking side would peek through, and he would initiate _talking to him. _Kaname hated admitting he needed help. He didn't understand that it was important to _talk_ to people sometimes, to share with others and take an offered helping hand from time-to-time. As they said: a burden shared is a burden halved.

Zero was temporarily impressed and horrified by how well he knew Kaname, to have come up with such a _perfect_ plan to crack through his mask and uncover his troubles that he was reluctant to share. Hopefully then they could fix those troubles and move _on_ with this damn Weapon business.

Somehow, he could tell that Kaname knew _exactly_ what he was doing. His dark eyes kept flicking to Zero, as if expecting him to speak just then, and narrowed suspiciously when Zero didn't. Slowly, ever so slowly, he felt Kaname's shoulders slump slightly as he began to relax. It was when his elbows dropped to his knees and he was fully hunched over, that Zero assessed Kaname's current condition.

Kaname didn't normally slouch. It wasn't a Kaname thing to do. But it seemed that he did in fact do so when he realised he couldn't avoid something he was dreading. It was like the weight of his troubles had dropped on his shoulders, he crumpled into a bent-over, pitiful _heap_.

Before he could stop himself, Zero found his hand on Kaname's back. And before Kaname could react to that, Zero's gallant hand began to rub gentle, comforting circles over the expanse of his spine.

An electric _zap_ shot up Kaname's spine, even managing to shoot through his shirt and tingle Zero's fingertips. Physically, Kaname jerked slightly, before slumping even more so and letting out a small pleasured groan.

Zero found his lips pulled in a half-grin at this, and his other hand also fell naturally onto Kaname's head, nestling in his hair and dragging through the locks in the same way he used to pet Ichiru when he was particularly upset. It only momentarily caught him by surprise the way his body automatically shifted into to a comforting mode for Kaname, but then he thought: _Oh, what the hell…_ Even though it was strange it didn't _feel_ bad to comfort Kaname. In fact, it felt surprisingly _nice_ to be nice to Kaname.

Strange.

He paused briefly to shuffle back on the bed, changing his position so he was kneeling behind Kaname, so he could reach him better.

If this had been just a _month_ ago, he would never have believed he would be doing something like: rubbing Kaname's back; or even, _stroking Kaname's hair_.

"I…"

Zero's hands froze hearing him speak, but Kaname whimpered quietly so he resumed rubbing and stroking him, keeping his eyes fixed on the back of Kaname's head though, and mentally urging him to continue.

"Ever since… ever since I was Awoken, and brought to the Kurans' … I always sensed there was something unstable lurking beneath… their relationship. Ruka just confirmed a long-held supposition of mine,"

"'_They'_ being… Haruka and Juri?"

Kaname hummed lowly, and then leant his head far back till it bumped against Zero's chest, resting against it later. Zero grunted, finding himself then caught in that position now, with the Pureblood's head resting on him, he'd have to stay like that, lest Kaname topple backwards on top of him!

"Juri always looked like she was struggling to keep her head above the deep, dark water of her past,"

Zero marvelled at his poetic words with a small hum of encouragement, slipping his arms onto Kaname's shoulders. Now he was resting against him, he couldn't quite rub his back like before. This was kind of… a hug?

"She and Haruka were deeply in love, still," the Pureblood said quickly, tilting even further back to peer up at Zero, who nodded to show he was listening, "But… She was the Feeder, like me," he explained softly, "So, in a way I am _amazed_ she managed to survive for so long _without_ feeding Rido without going _**mad**_. The urge to feed your Bondmate can be incredibly destructive if you don't appease it – the Bond punishes you otherwise.

"Somehow she managed to go on for years and years without feeding him…"

Zero nodded again, finding himself trying not to let Kaname feel his thighs shaking. The effort of supporting Kaname's weight more and more as he leant even more heavily against him was making his aching muscles quake. He slowly pulled back, settling back on his ankles and dragging Kaname back with him. Were it any other situation, Zero would have blushed hotly in mortification. A Pureblood was practically lying on his lap.

But the warmth of Kaname's body on him was quite _pleasant, _removed from the context of the people and little protesting voice at the back of his head saying it was inappropriate… the position was rather comfortable.

He tried not to think about it too much. The protesting voice in his head sounded very much like a little-Ichiru.

From the pause in Kaname's speech, he realised that perhaps the Pureblood was opening himself up for his input. It was a second opinion that he needed, "Maybe it was…" he began, scrambling through his brain for something he could give Kaname… "Maybe it was Haruka,"

Kaname blinked, "Haruka?"

"Yeah," Zero paused, pondering over what he was about to say. He cleared his throat, making Kaname jump from the sound. His sensitivity to sounds amused Zero briefly, but he forced himself to concentrate back on the conversation. "Maybe Haruka was the one who kept Juri…sane. Because she loved him, and stuff,"

"That's a logical deduction,"

Zero strained his neck to see how Kaname was faring from their discussion. The Pureblood had dropped his head to the side, facing away from Zero. His voice had gone cold at his last utterance. It concerned Zero. Just as he was beginning to open up he reverted back to The Mask (this was what Zero was going to unimaginatively name it).

He dragged his hands through Kaname's tangled head to turn him so they were face-to-face again. Kaname stared blandly at him, and to Zero's despair he was already closing off…

"The madness, how quickly does it come?" he quickly stammered.

"Eh?"

A tiny bit of relief came when he saw the spark of confusion break Kaname's cool blank gaze.

"When the Feeder isn't able to feed their Bondmate, how long can they last until they go mad?"

"Oh… it depends," Kaname shrugged, "Weeks or years, it depends on the person and how strong their will is, and their relationship to their Bondmate," his eyes lingered on Zero's, and a small quirk of his lips brought a light blush to Zero's cheeks. "I won't go mad, if that's what you're worrying about,"

Surprisingly enough, he _had_ subconsciously been wondering…

"As long as you're feeding from me, and you're close enough to me, like this…" Kaname gestured loosely to their ensemble, drawing more heat to Zero's face, "Then I'll be fine,"

"Hmm, the Bond **is** satisfied then?"

"Yes," and then Zero swore his heart stopped as a sudden smirk bloomed on Kaname's cold face, disarming his previously chilly demeanour, "You came after me to do that, didn't you…?"

Zero scowled, hating the blush on his cheeks. So this was what he got for being kind to a Pureblood –mockery! Yet when he turned back to Kaname, his mouth open and ready to spew insults at him, he was stopped by the warm smile he received. Kaname's face showed nothing but sincere gratitude for his thoughtfulness.

It did nothing to stop his blush, but he felt much less reluctant to acknowledge his deed.

With a meek nod, he answered, "You said that the Bond was shorter now…"

"It is, and it's continuing to shorten,"

"Eh? But I'm not even feeding from you!"

"Nevertheless, as I have told you before, the Half-Bond is meant to be temporary. Over time it gives pain to the Feeder as a reminder that it must, or _should_ be completed. It will drag us physically closer to each other till it will become very difficult to resist not completing the Bond," Kaname spoke lowly, furrowing his brow, "Particularly for _me_,"

Zero looked away from him, absorbing the information with growing dread. The Bond would _have_ to be completed – that was what Kaname was saying. Their time was limited till it became impossible to ignore. It grew progressively short and taut to drag the two Mates together till they were fully Bonded.

"Don't worry,"

He turned back to Kaname.

"I won't force you to Bond if you don't want to. I can stand it," he said softly, closing his eyes, "It's getting easier to stand the pain. That's why I thought I would leave the room earlier. I didn't think you'd follow," he caught Zero's hand, making the Hunter sputter slightly, but Kaname only smiled wider, "I would have been alright. But you came still, so thank you,"

"Yeah, okay…" Zero muttered, snatching his hand back abashedly. He was terribly flustered by Kaname's superfluous gratitude. All he had done was follow him. He had only done so because of the guilt he knew he'd face, knowing he'd left Kaname to suffer. Zero tried to change the subject back to the original topic, "So… you're alright now?"

"Yes, of course," Kaname chuckled, leaning back to beam at Zero with burning appreciation. The Hunter tried to avoid his gaze, feeling all his thankfulness was completely unnecessary. He knew Kaname was attempting to play the fool, steering the conversation to being about the Bond and not about –

"I mean your _parents_, Kaname," he said bluntly, almost wincing as he saw the bright smile dissolve into a stony expression again. He scraped his lower lip with his teeth in frustration. "You need to talk about it, Kaname. It isn't healthy to bottle things all the time," he leant over Kaname, prodding his forehead, "C'mon. If we're gonna be Bonded sooner or later, you're gonna have to trust me with things like this. Just… talk to me," he urged kindly.

Kaname still looked reluctant, but the pleasant, if not unusual, smile on the Hunter's was encouraging, so he pushed back even further against Zero, snuggling greedily into his warm embrace. His feet were flat on the floor, which he used as leverage to push with his legs till Zero toppled fully backwards. On either side of Kaname, Zero's legs which had been tucked neatly underneath him had been thrown up and were now sprawled, and the Hunter let out an, "_Oof!"_ from the momentum of the push.

"I said _talk_, not _**smother**_ me!"

Kaname grinned, lying back with an exaggerated sigh, and then let the smile fade as the turbulence of his mind imbued it. He felt himself melt into Zero's warmth for comfort, and was even sneaky enough to steal the Hunter's hand and trap it against his chest before Zero had time to protest.

"Your parents," Zero prompted him, causing Kaname to lose his humour once more.

"Haruka and Juri," he corrected shortly, biting his lip as he was once again lost in the sea of mourning, for two people who still held a treasured place in his heart.

"Your _parents_," Zero retorted, sharply feeling the stab of empathetic pain he thought he had contracted from Kaname's terse speech – finally getting a feel for where Kaname's sorrow might originate from. Back then in the parlour, when he had said "_Kuran Kaname was so loved,"_… it all made **sense** now. What Kaname had really meant to say was: "_Did they ever love __**me**__?"_

"They weren't _my_ parents," Kaname said tightly through his teeth, masking the pain he felt with anger, "I was never their child," he fought back the memories of Haruka, gentle Haruka who had still insisted on lovingly calling him "_son"_ and… and… "They were never _mine_,"

* * *

><p>Once again Kaname had drawn himself up into a sitting position and then slumped forwards, folding himself into half as he hugged his knees. Like a child, Zero mused, as he sat up behind him. After a few seconds of watching the Pureblood trembling in self-contained despair, Zero pulled himself up too, and his arms slid round to hold Kaname. The words haunted his mind, so forlorn… "<em>They were never <em>_**mine**_…"

Thinking about it now, Zero found himself stepping effortlessly into Kaname's shoes and seeing the world for what it must have been like as First Vampire. Lonely. Being the supposed "First Vampire", he Woke **alone**. No parents. No origins. He had started life by himself.

No parents.

Zero tried to imagine what life might have been, having never known his parents (or indeed, he imagined never knowing if he'd **had** any parents).

Impossible. It was a simple luxury he took for granted – the memories of his loving parents he treasured. Though he rarely looked back on the past, or grieved for their losses (because they were _gone_. There was nothing he could do but move on), he still had the comfort of their lingering presences imprinted in his mind, and in his heart. If he ever ached for them, all he had to do was reach back to those precious days and remember…

But Kaname had had no one.

Not until he was Woken for the second time, and taken in by the Kurans.

Even then when he received his first "parents" it came at a terrible price...

"_They were never mine,"_

Kaname didn't let himself enjoy his memories of them.

He punished himself for ever having had them.

"I could tell, I could _tell_-"

Zero immediately switched back to listening to Kaname, the words falling out of his mouth in a mad jumble, as he bit his lip and felt Kaname's powerful shoulders shudder under his elbows as he tormented himself with his _guilt_.

To gain parents (to gain _**life**_), Kaname had been forced to take the life of the Kurans' child.

"- when I Woke, and I was given to them. The way **she** looked at me, the way she…" Kaname gulped huge mouthfuls of air as he struggled to speak. Zero returned to patting his back, and even mumbled comforting words quietly to him. Seeing Kaname like this was unbearable, "…she didn't want me. I was her dead boy. I ate him, Zero. I **ate** him. Their boy. No wonder they never loved me-"

The guilt of it was still eating him alive, right to this very day.

"Of course they loved you," Zero cried, not even knowing what he was saying, he curled closer around Kaname and rocked both of them back and forth. The agony seeped out of Kaname and into him like some sort of disease. He found his eyes wetting simply from holding Kaname and feeling how weak he became when faced with this long-term guilt. It had probably built over the years and had become something truly menacing for Kaname to face (but at least now he wasn't facing it alone), "They loved you, Kaname," he insisted as Kaname hiccupped quietly. Without hesitation, he cupped Kaname's face, capturing his direct attention, "They _loved you_. I know they did. And they could never blame you for _that_," he added, referring to Kuran Kaname. "It wasn't your fault-"

"How could they not blame me? It was never the same," Kaname snapped, "I stole their boy and took his body. Every time she saw me, I was taunting her – parading her dead son's body around her, it was like I was pouring **poison** down her throat," his words were sharp and acerbic, "Yet Juri, the kind woman she was, _still_ tried to love me. And Haruka raised me like his own son. They were so good to me, even when I didn't deserve it. By that time, Juri was barely holding onto the edge of her own sanity. And now that I know what Rido did to her, I can only guess how much pain she was in, knowing that the only thing that she'd had in her life untouched by Rido was now tainted by me – by his doing. I hurt her. **I pushed her to the edge. **

"When I look back, all I see is how Haruka struggled to comfort us both and suffered from his efforts – she was unresponsive to his encouragement, his begging for her to accept me; and me – I was the newly-Woken Ancestor who was housed in his dead son's body,"

"Kaname," Zero found his voice strained. Kaname believed so sincerely that it was all his fault – that he stole Juri's sanity. This guilt was ruling his mind. He believed that the love Haruka and Juri had given him was undeserved, "You're not being fair to yourself. Please. You have to stop," he pressed against his back, squeezing his shoulders urgently. How were these waves of depression rolling off Kaname right through him? Was it the Bond?

"I tried to be like him… but I couldn't,"

Suddenly Zero recollected the memory from before, and how Kaname had said, just then,

"_I try so hard… I want to be like you so much."_

The similarities... were unbelievable.

He shook his head in disbelief.

And all this time he'd thought Kaname was loaded with confidence, when in reality he was hiding all these insecurities from the world. Unbelievable.

"No one asked you to," he said simply with a shrug, shifting Kaname so he could sit beside him again. "Did they? I think they knew who you were, Kaname. They couldn't pretend you were their son, but they chose to love you anyway. They never tried to make you into a replica of him, that's your assumption – that they blamed you. You have to stop blaming yourself. It's… pointless. What's done is done,"

He finished with a small shrug, glancing lamely to the side, before turning back to see Kaname's reaction.

The Pureblood was gazing up at him with such wide eyes, so bright and round, like Yuuki's. Zero flushed again, shoving Kaname to the side and folding his arms, but he couldn't fight back a small triumphant smile. Somehow… somehow it looked like he had managed to reach Kaname, and made him re-evaluate his guilt somewhat.

Kaname sat up and twisted around to beam down at Zero, finding for some reason that everything suddenly was _resolved_, or at least, he felt like the guilt he had been holding onto for Haruka and Juri was beginning to dissolve away. It wasn't his fault he was Awakened. They knew – they knew who he was – whose spirit had inhabited their son's body. Yet they still loved him – it was true. He remembered how Haruka called him his "adorable son"…

He reached down to caress Zero's cheek adoringly, admiring the tiny smile on his lips and the gleam of content in his violet eyes, and delighting at the blush it brought.

"Thank you, Zero. Thank you so much…"

_For understanding it for me, for talking to me, for comforting me, for…_


	79. In Suffering And Strength

_"I will show you fear in a handful of dust."_

_T.S. ELIOT, The Waste Land_

* * *

><p>"H-Hanadagi <em>Nori-sama<em>?"

He and Boy scrambled backwards, not even caring that they were now covered in whatever sticky grime was on the floors. Hanadagi Nori, the honourable Lord of this castle, was curled up on the floor before them. The sickening crack before had been Nori's wrist (being stepped on by _Boy_), which he was shakily holding in place with his other hand as it began to heal rapidly. It snapped loudly as the bones automatically shifted themselves to mend correctly. Takuma's eyes were fixed, however, on the dirty face of one grimacing Pureblood Lord.

Nori's hair was a long matted mess, grown over the century of slumber, and filthy with dust and grime and something that smelt _awful_ which Takuma couldn't identify. He looked terrified, and as soon as his wrist stopped snapping into place, he shrank back against the wall with an almost incoherent whimper.

Takuma was baffled.

Here was a Pureblood – the strongest class of the Vampires curled up on the floor, _whimpering. _Why he wasn't he defending himself? He was perfectly capable of hurling his great Pureblood powers at them, flattening them against the opposite wall, or crushing them to death, or quite simply _tearing them to pieces_…

He quickly knelt down, dipping low as he possibly could in his kneeling position to bow to Nori respectfully. With a brief glance to his side, he also grabbed Boy's shirt hem and yanked him down into a prostate position on the sticky floor. But after holding his head down for a good minute without any sound of acknowledgement or grunt of approval or _anything_, Takuma felt his knees begin to creak as he swayed nervously. The dark was suffocating, as was the stench of blood and soot, which was much, _much_ stronger this close to the floor. He felt sweat drip down the side of his nose to hang on his upper lip, at which point he decided to risk a quick glance upwards.

"S-Sir-"

"I know,"

His green eyes couldn't comprehend what he saw – two moon-like eyes that shone in the shadows cast by the flashlight.

White, white eyes which had a filmy layer poured over them, thin like milk. He gasped, lifting the flashlight to properly light Nori's face, now without the concern of _blinding _him, because he was already –

Blind.

A **blind** Pureblood.

How was that even _possible?_

"Hanadagi-sama… _who did this to you?"_ he asked gently, unconsciously reaching out a comforting hand to touch him, for a moment forgetting that this was a _Pureblood_. Who was he to dare touch a _Pureblood_? (Then again, who dared to _harm_ a Pureblood? The anger welled deeply inside Takuma as he wondered who and how someone could do this…)

Boy caught his wrist before he could reach him. And for this – Takuma was grateful. He just remembered that Nori was _blind_, so he would probably be shocked to feel someone's unanticipated touch (and he might react _badly _to being startled… so Takuma might lose a _limb/_his life).

Perhaps it was the friendliness in his voice, or the fact that he hadn't yet been subjected to whatever horrors he had expected from them, so Nori lifted his head slightly, unfurling his body ever so minutely. Takuma smiled encouragingly, before he realised how pointless the action was. He hesitated again, debating how else he might be able to make Nori understand who he was and that he was no harm to him at all.

It was _trust_ that he needed to gain from Nori. Unless the Pureblood trusted him, they were in grave danger with him being blind. He might lash out at _anybody_.

Nori's face twisted sharply, instantly causing Takuma to withdraw his hand again. And Nori's white eyes somehow managed to find Takuma so accurately that he gasped in shock.

"I will not speak his name. Don't ask what you _already__** know**_," he hissed, flinching back as one of the soldiers behind them let out an untimely cough.

Takuma's compassionate heart won out against his fear, especially when he saw the Lord shiver like a frightened mouse, so he delicately placed a hand on Nori's shoulder –

And almost squeaked in shock.

Nori felt like a glacier.

Ice, ice cold. So _cold_.

The Lord shuddered, somehow awakening by his touch and swivelling around to embrace it. Takuma then _did_ yelp as Nori practically barrelled him over – it felt like he was being hit by a snowman (or _ice_-man. Nori's very body seemed to have been compacted into a solid, heavy mass. It smacked the air out of Takuma's lungs for sure).

Boy moved to right them, "Sir-!"

"Stay _back_," he struggled to hold up one halting hand whilst balancing the frozen man in his other arm. Then Takuma turned to Nori, "Hanadagi-sama, are you alri-"

"You're one of Kaname's men,"

Takuma blinked, but nodded deliberately exaggeratedly so Nori could feel it, "Yes. Kaname is my friend,"

A huge gush of air expelled from Nori's lungs, and to Takuma's horror –

He began to cry.

Sobbing uncontrollably – and all Takuma could do was pat his back and awkwardly offer a terrified, "There, there," with the best of his ability. It was totally bewildering. He'd only ever seen Nori in books before, so it was literally like he was holding something of fiction in his arms! This man was meant to be deep in a one-hundred year slumber… and he wasn't generally giving the same vibe as the confident, proud Pureblood he'd read about – rather a meek, broken man who definitely couldn't hold his own against an enemy in the current state he was in.

"Thank God, th-thank _God_ you are here!" Nori groaned, his arctic breath hitting Takuma's ear in a chilling huff.

"What's wrong Hanadagi-sama?" Takuma repeated urgently as Nori gripped him tighter, holding onto him like a lifeline. He felt that right now, status meant nothing. In the current situation, it was evident that Nori did _not_ hold any power over him (which was shocking in itself) and so Takuma decided to treat him like he would any other person in shock. "Hey, hey now," he mumbled, making to rub some heat into Nori's frigid arms. As Boy also rubbed Nori's back he yelped in shock, but Takuma quickly made to soothe him, "Shh, he's a friend. He's a friend. Please, tell me what has happened,"

"He became very hurried," Nori stammered, shifting to allow Boy's heated hands warm his back, "And he Woke my other child, my boy, Kohaku-"

"Wait. Your _other_ child? Rido – he Woke you? And he _Woke_ your other child?" he babbled, rapidly trying to grasp everything. Takuma was very aware there were huge gaps in his knowledge which he had from not having gone to the Hanadagi Castle the last time, and these were making understanding everything really difficult.

He shuddered as Nori let out a raspy wail, fingers constricting his shoulders till he felt the blood rush under his skin to form two large bruises. The Lord dropped his head onto Takuma's burning shoulders and sobbed so violently that Boy had to shuffle behind them to support both their weights. Both of them tried to console the distraught man, meanwhile trying not to notice how the other soldiers around them were fidgeting uncomfortably as the darkness surrounding them bore down on them with unknown threats. The scuttling sound of someone dropping something, the grate of the soles of stationary shoes scraping the floor and a hissing noise… a _hissing_ noise…

These strange noises made everyone quite on edge. On top of which, Nori was still weeping brokenly onto his shoulder, making Takuma the most anxious of them all.

"…my Kasumi, my baby… I'm so sorry… so, so sorry…"

Takuma felt a chill go up his spine as he felt like something, or some_one_ was **watching** him.

He tried prying Nori's tightening hands off him, but they wouldn't budge. The sharp press of his long curved nails dug into his shoulders, making Takuma groan slightly as his newly-born bruises were pinched into smarting from this. Still, he wondered why he was still _alive_. He wondered why Nori hadn't killed them, even by accident, in his fright. How could he trust them when he couldn't see them? Was he that desperate? The man was falling apart! As a Pureblood, he'd have even less control on his powers, and it was highly likely that he'd have destroyed them by now.

It also bothered Takuma that Nori was **blind**.

Nori had been Woken by _Rido_ for some _purpose_, so why then would he handicap him?

Wouldn't he be more useful with his eyes?

"Hanadagi-sama, please," Takuma panted, heaving the man upright, "Tell me what has happened. What has he done to you? Where is Kasumi? Your son? What… what is he making you do?"

Nori sniffed but nodded solemnly, bowing his head. He sucked in a few more breaths before he was ready to speak.

"Kasumi… is dead," he said tightly, and then his weak voice trembled, "M-My son… my, my _son_…"

"Shh, it's alright," Takuma quickly tugged Nori back into his arms, this time not even reacting as his shoulders were re-abused by Nori's claws. "We'll find him, I promise,"

"I…I think h-he did the same to h-him!" the man groaned, sagging against him. It was by this movement that Takuma realised that Nori was losing himself, as in _literally_ he was losing it. 'The same', he said? As in, Kohaku had been blinded _too_? "Kohaku – he was screaming for me. But R-Rido-s-sama wouldn't _stop_…"

"Where are your powers, Hanadagi-sama?" he cut in quickly, trying to rouse the man out of his memories. He shook Nori when all he received was a grunt, "_Nori-sama!"_

Nori's head rolled to the side, making Takuma yelp in horror as he saw his blank eyes roll back and a sneer stretch his mouth so his teeth were bared.

His teeth were black.

Black and sticky with dried blood.

**No**.

Oh God _**no**_.

It made sense now – Rido's growing Level E army. He wanted to make more and _more_ of them. So _**this**_ was the reason for the stink of blood and death hanging like a dense cloud in the Castle. He was using Nori (and his _son_, it sounded like) as… _tools_ really, to grow his army. All he needed was their Pureblood venom and their Bite which bound the Humans like slaves to them, which Turned the Humans into Level Es.

And it didn't matter that the Humans were Bound to Nori and Kohaku and not _Rido_, because Rido was their **Master** from Waking them. Ergo, by proxy the Level Es were still under Rido's control.

It also explained why Nori's powers were gone. It was most likely that Rido had repressed them. On top of this, blinding Nori rendered him even more defenceless. Sight is freedom. All Rido needed from Nori was his _teeth _and _venom_.

"Sir," Boy whispered, appearing by Takuma's right side. He was tugging on his wrist. From the shadows Takuma could just make out his fingers trying to prise the flashlight from his hand.

"Soldier, what do you think you're doing?" he snapped, coiling his arm around Nori to get it out of Boy's reach. He growled as Boy caught him again and again yanked on the flashlight urgently. "Leave it!"

"Sir, we think there's something up there," another soldier behind them bent down to say quietly, and Takuma could hear the faint tremor of fear in his voice.

_Up there…_ Takuma remembered the hissing noise, which now sounded alarming more like a _scuttle_.

The feeling of eyes on them.

"One minute," he whispered back, ignoring the way his hand shook as he understood that the impeding danger lurked closer than ever. He could just _tell_. Someone was there.

But right now he needed to get information. He needed to keep Nori awake. The Pureblood whimpered again, so he dragged him closer to his body heat, vigorously rubbing warmth back into his icy limbs so he grunted gratefully.

"Nori-sama, has Rido told you anything?" he asked brusquely, catching the edges of an illuminated face twisted in horror as his wrist jerked uncontrollably and the flashlight flickered to the side briefly. "Do you know what he's planning with _them_?" he clarified, referring to the Level Es.

The sightless eyes swerved from side to side, blankly, hopelessly… he shook him again, gasping as Nori tightened his claws in response. This time he wasn't sure if they broke skin. The freezing temperature had already numbed his shoulders so all he could feel was a dull ache.

But then the smell of his blood told him he'd been cut.

It was an ominous threat in the already menacing darkness.

"Sir," Boy begged, tugging on his wrist. The flashlight caught the faces of the rest of the group, suddenly lighting the fact that they were all finally still instead of shuffling around. But the light also showed only the whites of their eyes glowing since their gazes all pointed upwards, to the scuttling sounds on the ceiling.

"Wait," he insisted, turning back to Nori. "Please, you have to know _something_. Nori-sama,"

"K-K…K-"

"Sir!" Boy wrestled for the light, for only a second managing to get to aim it to his hand which was spattered and smeared brown and red – both dried and wet blood. There was a small splashing, squelching noise which made his grip even tighter on Takuma's wrist. Blood dripped from above, splashing Boy's hand again, and Takuma's cheek. He grimaced.

"Stop it!" Takuma barked, "You'll draw attention to us," he explained, steadying the light as best as he could and aiming it downwards. He focused on the quaking Pureblood again, "What did you say?"

"They're here," Nori's eyes widened before rolling back again. Takuma's lips tightened at what he'd said. _They're here_. The scuttling noises, the hissing, the growing stink of blood and…and death…

"Sir, please!"

There was a yell. A loud squelch. A _snarl_.

"Sir," Boy managed to take the flashlight from his loose grip, the knees of the other soldiers knocked against his back, knocking him and Nori over. "Up!"

Up. Takuma didn't want to look up. Somehow he knew that what he would see would be terrifying.

But still, he _had_ to look.

Already there were screams from his soldiers, the echoing sound of screams from greater distances of the other groups throughout the castle. They had launched their attack.

_They're here._

"Nori-sama, _what did you say?_" he yelled, over the sounds of his soldiers readying their weapons. Over the frantic pounding of his heart. The frightened yells of his men. Takuma practically slammed Nori against the wall to wake him again. He knew – somehow he _knew_ that _his_ blood had caught the Level Es attentions when Nori cut him with his claws. He somehow _knew_ that Nori had been ordered by Rido to start the attack, and that that had been the signal (he also knew it wasn't Nori's fault that he had done this. He was under Rido's control. This whole time… Rido probably had a hand in leading them to Nori then.).

"K-K-K-"

Takuma leant down to hear him better, trying to block out the other noises. Boy slammed against him, back-to-back as he covered his back from the Es.

"**Run**," Nori choked, releasing his shoulders and pushing him back, "He wants _Kurosu_," he hissed, fighting for a breath. "_Kuro-"_

The air was knocked out of both of them as Boy yelled from another attack. The snarls of the Level E were terrifyingly close to his ear and for a split second Takuma felt the pungent breath of it ghosting his ear. Then Boy ripped the Level E off his back and he heard its dying squawk. A cloud of dust flew into his eyes, into his throat. He hacked it up, trying not to think about the fact that _that he was breathing in dead Level Es_. The dust. It was everywhere, erupting from slaughtered Level E and soldier alike.

"We have to get out of here!" Boy screamed, grabbing him by his arm. Takuma felt Nori weakly push him away, and because of Boy's insistent tugging, he was successfully dragged away from the Pureblood. Nori fell away, disappearing in the bustle of the fighting masses around them. Boy towed Takuma further away, even as he yelled to him to stop, that they couldn't leave Nori behind – at the same time, in the back of Takuma's mind he knew the Level Es couldn't injure Nori, since he was technically their creator, but still – the thought of leaving him in that state didn't bode well with him at all.

"Unhand me!" he bellowed, trying desperately to shake him off, but the soldier's grip was surprisingly strong and he was taken away. To reply to Takuma's order, Boy simply flicked his wrist upwards, illuminating the ceiling.

What he saw made Takuma's jaw drop in blood-chilling horror.

The swarming mass of _hundreds_ of Level Es, hanging onto the ceiling upside down with their beady black eyes staring at him. At _him_. The source of the blood.

Like bats in a cave, the light made them scramble restlessly on the ceiling surface. Boy quickly moved the light back down, away from them. Even then, they both knew the Es had been roused. The sound of them dropping to the floor with loud squelches, in the invisible dark… it was horrifying…

Soon enough Takuma smelt he wasn't the only one giving off a blood scent – he could smell his soldiers' wounds. Boy dodged a pouncing Level E nimbly, taking Takuma forcefully right to the edge of the fray to his chagrin, and further on down the corridor.

"What are you doing?" he snapped, wrestling Boy's grip, "Where are you taking me? We have to stay and fight! How dare you run away!"

"Sir, you made a promise and I'm keeping you to it! Nori-sama will be fine," Boy panted, tossing the flashlight over to the fight. "We have to find his son!" Takuma felt his stomach drop as the light swivelled madly, highlighting every single body crammed in the corridor, the Es, the soldiers, the mix of red and brown and black, the fog of dust, the writhing mass of the battle. Then the light went out. The light went out.

And they were now in _total_ darkness.

Only the deafening sound of screams and fighting grunts and yells and….

Nothing. He couldn't see a thing.

He could only imagine how Nori felt, left to be this alone in a darkness that had no end.

For a good couple seconds Takuma found himself completely dizzied and lost, only the hold of Boy on his wrist steadying him. Boy was still too, and to his amazement, none of the Level Es had dropped down onto them yet. He could hear and feel them nearby. He heard the squelch of a couple of them drop a few feet by them, but the Level Es paused in the dark, just like them.

It was then that he realised why Boy had done what he had done.

He also realised why Boy wasn't moving, and was waiting for _him_ to move first.

In the darkness, Takuma – a Noble – with stronger blood, had the powers of better sight compared to lowly Level Es and the Human, Boy. He had the advantage.

He twisted his wrist, reaching so he could catch Boy's wrist in a lock too, and then…

He ran.

Dragging Boy behind him, he ran and ran as fast as he could. There was limited space between each footstep and the Level E behind them, gaining on them. Takuma could only see vague shapes, shadows of a darker black in the blackness, but these were enough for him to navigate around and dodge. Unfortunately he could feel the sharp tug on his wrist whenever Boy was knocked blindly into the Es, but what could he do?

With only one logical conclusion in mind – that Kohaku could only be in a place where Nori had been, since Nori had heard him screaming for him (Takuma prayed he wasn't blind too, that would make things all the more difficult). Therefore, he sucked in the air with each panting breath, sniffing so hard he could feel the burning friction of the rush of air in his nostrils. If he could track Nori's scent backwards, they would find Kohaku.

* * *

><p><em>Schhlip.<em>

_Schhlip._

The whispering of methodical slices across his back could barely be felt anymore. As his body began to empty, a red puddle growing steadily further out around him, the chill of the knife was barely perceptible above the cloud of dimness hovering in his sight. Patches of black and red and white floated under his eyelids, blinking and fluttering. It reminded him of being a child, playing with a small cheap kaleidoscope, with Kain sitting bored beside him and every so often capping the end of the tube off with his palm, blocking off the light…

_Kain_.

Aidou let out the faintest of whimpers, digging his fingers even more weakly against the wet carpet.

With all the effort he could summon, he lifted open one eyelid to observe his right hand, seeing the red juices from the soaked carpet swim up the grooves under his nails, turning the whites pink and marking out the creases in his hands. Aidou's left cheek was pressed to the wet ground and he lay flat on his front with his ruined shirt hanging off his arms and back.

His back was a mutilated sight to behold, his skin torn up and down his spine and across the back of his ribcage. The entire mess was just _red, red, __**red**_. Raw.

And Rido was knelt to his right side, right in his view. The Pureblood was basked in a wraithlike moonlit glow, silvered from the backdrop of the huge wall windows behind him. His face was kindly bowed to Aidou's and when he noticed he was being watched by his victim, he smiled, as though he was pleased to see Aidou still awake, still alive.

He couldn't feel the cuts anymore, but he could hear them and smell them and he could see the gleam of bright red in Rido's eyes, glinting every so often.

Why was Rido doing this?

He had no idea. Was there a reason for madness?

All Aidou knew was that he couldn't see much with only his right eye. The pool of blood was growing wider, and he could smell his Lifeblood beginning to peek over the swathing plumes of his fresh blood as he reached the limit of _life_. There was the _schhlip_ sound of the Bleeding Knife cutting his back to ribbons.

It was just like last year. The Knife was tracing the same lines over and over, making Aidou remember. Making it impossible to forget.

Again, Aidou was unable to do anything to defend himself.

Again, he was being slowly bled by Rido, and the terrifying brink of consciousness was a struggle to maintain.

Again… Aidou was only vaguely in touch with his surroundings.

Mostly, he tried to keep hold of himself in his inner mind. Inside his fantastic mind he could distance himself from the pain, from the fear of death so _near_, the horrifying scent of – now – his _Lifeblood_ pouring out of him, from the sensation of Rido every so often dipping his fingers into the wounds and tasting them.

One face kept swimming around his head, infusing the clouding haze that had settled on his mind with a phantom comfort Aidou clung to.

Kain.

Funnily enough, his face was as red as his hair, amber eyes blown wide open.

It was the image of Kain above him, flushing after that embarrassing morning wake-up.

That was the last morning he'd seen him since…

Since… leaving him. Since he'd left and they'd been apart for _God knows how long_.

He missed him.

All he wanted was Kain, here, by his side. Even if he was a projection, a hallucination… seeing Kain there in front of him instead of the trapped, frozen image in his mind… having him there would…

Save him.

Aidou groaned almost silently as Rido leaned down to lap at the blood pooling in the dip of his spine. Disgusting –

"_Delicious_,"

He would cry if he could, scream if he could. The prickling sensation of Rido's fangs _so close_ to puncturing his skin would absolutely paralyze him with fear if he wasn't already immobile. So close. **So **close. He still couldn't figure out why Rido wouldn't just _Bite_ him, and Bind him as his slave. He would be under Rido's control if that happened – his life would be Bound to Rido's.

An immortal life…

But a life shared with someone he entirely abhorred.

And then Rido drew back.

Aidou blinked sleepily, tilting his head to his captor. Rido's face was visible again from this angle, because he was again seated back on his ankles. The Pureblood's expression was really strange and Aidou could vaguely feel his fingers dig into the raw skin on his back and Rido's knees pressed to his sides _tense_. What was going on?

The Pureblood hissed through his teeth, narrowing his eyes to slits as he stared off into a direction beyond Aidou's sight. His heart leapt. Was someone there? He couldn't hear or smell anyone.

"No…"

Rido spoke so quietly that Aidou thought he'd imagined the angered hiss of his voice.

But then the Pureblood's face scrunched up in disgust or some other furious expression, and his claws _**sunk into his back.**_

Aidou's mouth _did_ gape then. The claws brushed the highly sensitive nerves near his spine, and _good lord_ it would be a miracle if he wasn't paralysed by this experience. A breathy whimper rushed out of his nostrils when Rido's retracting claws scraped his vertebrae and he thought he felt them just scratch some sort of fragile organ lining –

"No!"

Despite the nauseating waves of new pain that rolled over him, he forced his eye to remain open and watching Rido. The Pureblood had ripped his hands from his back, dragging disaster to his spine and organs in their wake, and coming back with spatters of blood on his face. But Rido wasn't staring at his bloody hands. He was staring off. Beyond where Aidou could see. And he looked completely _crazy_.

Rido reached up to his own throat and clawed at it, and even through the cloudy haze, the intoxicating scent of Pure blood managed to filter through to Aidou's mind; unexpectedly enough he was reminded of his terrible blood starvation at this moment, and he could feel his stomach quake with desire.

And then to Aidou's surprise, he could _feel _the ground.

He twitched a finger. He could _move_.

And his cheek pressed to the ground began to leak _coldness_, his powers flooded out of him, much like the pool of his blood. Aidou felt the blood soaked ground around his exposed skin frost and fuse to him, tiny crystals of ice forming on his eyelashes and the hair that hung in his face.

Rido didn't seem to notice, too absorbed in his own troubles.

Aidou twitched his finger again, pressing it to the ground and squeezing out some blood, which he froze gradually. His powers were back.

Even though he was feeling beyond pain, beyond coherency, beyond _sane_… his powers were back. For some reason or other, Rido's distraction was keeping him from maintaining his solid control over Aidou's powers, and now he could _freeze_ things.

He fixed his eye warily on Rido, wondering how long it would be before Rido remembered him and regained control of him. If he stayed really still, maybe he could pretend he was still under his power, maybe he could devise a plan to escape…

With his powers.

What could he gain from _freezing _things?

Aidou repressed a frustrated groan. It was even more difficult to think of a solution with his brain drained of its usual supply of blood, and the dizzying hunger re-sparked from his realisation before. Now all he could think of was blood. All he could picture was Kain with his arms wide open…

He pressed his lips together. He had to **think**. He had to get out of here, for _Kain_. Kain, who would be most likely worrying about him.

He looked back up at Rido, finding him now with his fingers brushing his cheekbone, just below his eye. He now looked horrified by whatever he was looking at, _though_… there was something unfocused about his gaze. His eyes looked like they were staring somewhere further than anywhere. Aidou felt even more frustrated and nervous than ever. Was Rido having some sort of mental breakdown? Was he speaking to people in his head?

Rido gasped, rocking back on his ankles and digging his claws down his cheek too, mouthing "_No_," again and again. Whilst he did this, Aidou felt the chill of is powers rush through his empty veins. In the haze of his mind, he felt the clarity of his powers and _only_ his powers there to cradle him in some sort of self-comfort. He had power. He could protect himself.

His powers were mounting.

It was when his breath turned smoky from the cold that Rido turned his attentions back to him.

But by then, Aidou felt the adrenaline from the rush of having his powers back. By then he was ready in _that split second_ to exact his plan.

With a small croak rather than the victorious roar he aimed for, Aidou slammed his hands to the ground and suddenly the puddle he lay in became a dazzling shade of ruby red and _solid ice_. The ice spilled out from this, drawing the blood out from the soaked carpet and making it look like it was a sea of crushed rubies. He faintly heard Rido's irate yell and the feeling of him being torn into again, but his mind was above that all. All he could feel now was the empowering sensation of his powers leaking out of him in a flood of karma, to freeze Rido to the ground with himself (_he felt so _strong). All he could see was Kain's face floating in his mind's eye, and he imagined being drawn into Kain's arms… he could imagine the warmth of his fire, the ever-present flame in his amber eyes as he told him how proud he was of him, for being _strong_.

* * *

><p>"What the hell? <em>Nii-san!<em>"

Ichiru banged at the door, surprised and infuriated to find it locked. H-How…?

…_Kuran_.

Oh, it could only be Kaname who could lock the door behind himself and Zero without even touching it!

"Nii-san!" he bellowed, crouching to call through the keyhole (as if making himself more heard would draw Zero back). Why had Zero done that? Was it possible…? Could he believe his own eyes when they had seen his brother _hurrying after Kaname like…_like… one of these damn Vampire followers?

What was with that?

Ichiru's mouth flapped like a fish when he recalled (his eyebrow twitching madly as he did so) the image of his brother _and_ Kaname sleeping on a bed together.

Could it be?

Could they really be in such a relationship?

"Oh my god!"

He snapped out of the dreadful reverie from the panicked squeal, turning to see the girls gathered around the sofa. It had been Rima who squealed.

"What is it?" he followed them and bent to see Shiki, he gasped.

The boy was writhing uncontrollably on the floor, having toppled off the narrow width of the sofa from his movements. He was completely red-flushed all over, shiny with sweat and a deep crease between his eyebrows and a shuddering groan told them exactly how much pain he was in.

Rima fell to her knees beside him and reached to wipe his hair out of his face, but as her fingers touched him she yelped.

"He's burning up! He's really, really hot!" she exclaimed, tugging Yuuki down beside her. Ruka had rushed over to retrieve a drinking glass and a magazine from the coffee table. She handed the glass to Yuuki to press to Shiki's neck and she hurriedly fanned him with the magazine. Their efforts were useless though, since the boy only flinched from the glass and let out a long, shaky groan from whatever pain he was in.

"What's going on?" Ichiru cried, taking the initiative none of the girls was bold enough to do by beginning to rid Shiki of his shirt and then his pants.

"He's fighting Rido's curse!" Rima explained, helping him by wrestling down Shiki's flailing legs. "But other than that – I'm not sure. He was fine before,"

"I think the fighting in his body is wearing him out," Ruka said from above, cringing as Shiki whimpered, "And…" her eyes widened as she tried to think through the thought that was hammering into her skull but just wouldn't _sink in _properly.

She understood Shiki's fever.

There was sometime before when she had felt it.

…when she had cured him?

Yes – when she was holding him and injecting him with Yuuki's blood, his skin had been hot like this.

But…why?

Suddenly she remembered the scene – Shiki wrestling her through the bars as she held his arm straight and plunged the syringe into his arm. His other unrestrained arm beat a wild rhythm against the cage bars, violently shaking them. His _strength_. It was his _strength_ which had stunned her the most. Shiki was naturally stronger than her, due to his male physiology in comparison to her, but his strength had been almost _unimaginable _for a Noble Vampire.

He'd had the strength of a Pureblood.

"I think he's still got a link with Rido!" she breathed, turning to settle her gaze on Rima's confused look, "I was healing him in his cage, when he practically bent the cage bars with his strength – only, he couldn't have done that alone with his own strength. I think that Rido was lending him his strength to fight me before, but now it's the other way around. Wherever Rido is, whatever he's doing, he's sharing Shiki's strength! That's why he's all hot, he's probably trying to fight Rido's claim on not only his body, but his actual… his _everything_ really. Physical strength, mental…"

With two people's strengths combined – one a Pureblood, the other a half-Pureblood (_really_), Rido had even more power than he should, using Shiki.

But with his influence over Shiki waning… it was only a matter of time before he could be free.

_However_… could Rido now be aware of Shiki's healing? Was it because he could sense this that he was drawing even more on Shiki's strength and putting even more stress and pressure on Shiki's mending body?

"What do we do?" Ichiru asked, eyeing Shiki warily as his mouth frothed with his panting breaths. He was wrestling viciously. Rima's arms were scraped here and there where his blunt nails had caught her.

"We do nothing. We wait," Rima answered, grimacing as she wiped some of his spit froth away tenderly, "There's nothing we can do,"

"We can only hope then?" the Hunter asked disbelievingly, "That he can overcome this?"

"He _will_ overcome this," Rima said resolutely. "He will. Of course he will!"


	80. Rescue

**Author's Note:**

**Sorry for the long wait! Half term is here! I can't promise many updates, but I'll try to do more. **

**Enjoy! **

* * *

><p>Punishing whips scraped the bare surface of his skin, on the tips of his ears and sides of his face (one slicing dangerously close to his eyeball, scratching a red line just below his eye-socket), telling him that his mind was once again, drifting. The branches of trees and other foliage, even plants with soft and delicate leaves, became needle sharp and lethal when travelling at such speeds. And such plants were also unfortunately unavoidable, since he was sprinting through a dense forest – the one separating his King's Castle from the enemy.<p>

The fire-master struggled to shove his worrying mind aside and focus on dodging the obstacles in his speedy path. It wouldn't do to arrive at the Hanadagi's all scratched up and bleeding. That would be the biggest giveaway – the scent of blood, and something told Kain that it would be wisest to have the element of surprise to his advantage.

Already he had been running for a good hour or two, but despite the burning in his lungs, the streaming and stinging of his face and numbness of his muscles (which also, if he dared ponder it, felt remarkably detached from the rest of his body – this was a good thing, since they had grown increasingly heavy over the course of his run), he wouldn't slow down. He wouldn't stop. He daren't even close his eyes too often.

It was a stupid, stupid idea to be doing what he was doing...

Travelling alone, at night, sans plan or strategy, to the place of the enemy where he was severely at a disadvantage – was _not_ a clever idea. Especially with the extra threat of Rido possibly being there. Dear lord. But if Rido was there…

_Hana…_

Kain blinked, flinching as his sticky eyelashes clung together. The wind whipping around his ears turned them ruby red in the cold, and the tip of his nose was frozen and streaming. Both senses – hearing and smelling – were gravely diminished, and as he strained his ears to hear anything, to add to his panic he could only hear white noise and a strange ringing in his ear. Also there was a dull pain at the point where his ear was connected to his skull, just on the inside, _ringing_… he hoped it wasn't a perforated eardrum, but the more he thought about it, the more likely it was.

There was the option of slowing down, letting his lungs and ribs rest from constant pumping (they felt like they could explode at any second) and take a break for his bruised feet. But the respite would awaken a whole range of different pains too. He'd realise his legs were simultaneously on fire and weighed a tonne, his throat was painfully dry from the rush of air, his eyes couldn't stop running, neither could his nose – oh wait. He'd stopped.

Subconsciously, he'd stopped.

_Bollocks_.

Now he wasn't running, he felt the weight drop from his burning thighs to the soles of his feet, and this weight dragged him down till he was on his knees. Kain's heavy breathing overbalanced him. Soon he was on all fours, panting into the dirt.

And _now_ he didn't think he could move a muscle.

What a mistake. What a fucking stupid mistake.

This was not the time to rest!

"…H-Hana…"

He felt his skin evaporate the sweat from his face and couldn't help but snort. Whilst he was exhausted from running, he was strangely _invigorated_ by the pain too. It was funny – Aidou had taken the theory that hunger made you stronger, but so did pain (so did exhaustion, so did anger…). He was at his limit, but also he could see _beyond_, and he saw that soon enough he'd be able to stand on his feet again and start running _again_. It was like when he was studying for exams, or when he couldn't sleep well for several nights – being so utterly bored or so utterly exhausted pushed him _beyond_ the "wall" and he found himself calmer, refocused and rejuvenated – ready to go again.

Beyond exhaustion, there was this rush, this boost of energy. He only had to ride the waves of this energy to get to the Castle. Then he'd rest again, plan something, and then he'd go save Aidou.

"…I swear… I'll chain you to m-myself…" _so you won't run away and do stupid things like this. So you won't get yourself in trouble like this, you little –_, he thought furiously. Kain sucked in a deep breath, feeling his stretched lungs inflate till his head and ears popped and his vision went a little dizzy, a little weird…

And then the wave of calm came soaring over him, like a soothing balm it extinguished Kain's fire. He sat on his ankles and closed his eyes in relief. Though the pain was still there, the ache in his lungs and throat being the worst, he could feel himself relaxing and sinking into the hard ground a couple of millimetres as he began to _calm_ and his joints and muscles loosened.

After a few moments, the niggling feeling that he was wasting time roused him to open his eyes again, though _slowly_. As Kain opened his eyes, he registered his pounding heartbeat still present, not settling in the slightest. The fear, the excitement and panic still kept it pumping blood (and adrenaline) rapidly through is veins.

To distract himself from the nauseating twinge, he blinked his eyes so they were clearer, smudged the tears off his face and turned to survey his surroundings. He was crashed in the middle of the forest, and it was dark, so there wasn't much he could see apart from the dark outlines of branches and –

What was that? A branch –

He tensed. Yes. That was the sound of a twig snapping. He heard the crunch of another cautious step being taken, the sinews of a young fallen branch twanging in the suddenly thick silence.

It was so very quiet because now Kain broken and this… this other person, both realised they were not as alone as they had thought.

Knowing that he would surely topple over, as clumsy as a new-born foal were he to even attempt to rise to standing in any sort of hurry, Kain silently and smoothly drew himself back onto his thighs, perched in a crouch from which he could easily pounce. From this position he curled his foot back under himself, bending himself to balance himself even better. Now he was in the best position for action.

Kain strained his eyes, squinting into the darkness at the tall, straight lines of the trees' silhouettes surrounding him. Since he wasn't even in a clearing, the tiny space he was in could be roughly deemed circular between the trees, and this had made the intruder's sounds echo around him, ergo – he had no idea where they were.

If he turned his head, he'd be leaving his front open to attack, so he had to force his ears to listen behind him (ignoring the popping noises reverberating through his skull, and the still-loud beating of his heart). Just by sound though… Kain surmised that apart from the intruder, they were the only two there. Blinded by the darkness, his ears (though fucking _perforated_) were his sharpest sensors, and he could just pick out the soft rushing sound of the intruder's breath. Clever. He was slowing his breaths so they were slow and deep, so as to calm the inevitable rush of adrenaline coursing through his veins upon knowing _there was someone there_.

Not so clever.

From the deepened, moister breaths, Kain could clearly smell the intruder (and since the air was still, he knew that the intruder could also smell him), and it told him some vital information, just from the one quick sniff.

First off, the intruder was male. There were touches of a strangely sour cologne in the breeze, as well as the dirty scent of _cigar_ (not that Kain thought women didn't smoke, but this was clearly a _man's _cigar, in his mind. A lady wouldn't enjoy such a filthy smell.). The man's breath was similarly sullied with smoke and other chemicals, but what drew Kain's attention was the "cleanliness" of his breath.

This was no Vampire, for sure. Vampires, even Level Cs or Ds, all had a similarly sweet or intoxicating scent on their breaths, sometimes subtle and sometimes overpowering. It was the device which, as per traditional Vampire-fiction, lured and seduced prey into feeling calm before the feed, in the "good old days". But this intruder had none of that scent.

He couldn't be a Human, because Humans aren't the sort to wander in forests at night.

It must be a Hunter then.

Kain squinted in the intruder's direction, pondering what his course of action should be. The Hunter didn't know who he was, but if he _was_ a Hunter, he'd no doubt be able to sense that he was a Noble Vampire, ergo, a _threat_.

Kain was in much more danger than the Hunter.

The Hunter didn't know if he was a friend or foe, and may lash out if Kain tried to approach him. he would err on the side of caution and shoot him if he even tried to move. Therefore, Kain had to figure out some way of introducing himself safely without startling the Hunter. He gazed up the small slope to the Hunter, trying hard to plan something _fast_.

It was in moments like these when Kain cursed his impulsive nature, which had forced him from the Castle, unprepared and unplanned… he had no weapons on him. Most likely, the Hunter, by his profession, would carry some sort of firearms with him.

_Anti-Vampire_ firearms.

He was in so much trouble, it wasn't even funny.

And there was not time to think. He spotted the Hunter's slight movements. The faint ghostly moonlight only outlined the edges of his figure, but Kain could see his arm move to right angles to his body, a hand to his hip.

He was drawing his gun.

Kain opened his mouth to call out a warning, and then –

The Hunter's arm fell.

Kain watched as the moonlit edges shifted to outline the profile of the man's face as he turned to somewhere else. Something had caught the Hunter's attention it seemed, more than the unknown Vampire in front of him. This piqued Kain's attention too, but as he turned to look in the same direction, the Hunter moved –

- though not towards him. The Hunter moved on, elsewhere, seemingly abandoning the threat of unknown Vampire for some other unknown quest. Kain was left alone once more, and he found himself sighing in relief at the Hunter's departure. That was almost going to turn into a very difficult situation. He had no idea how he would've been able to convince the Hunter of his identity…

Kain spent a few more moments eyeing the direction the Hunter had fled. It could be a ploy. The Hunter could still be there. Obscured by the trees and bushes, waiting for Kain to move to a more accessible position for him to shoot… but Kain would simply have to brave the perilous circumstances and just move _fast_ out of the danger zone. With his heart pounding faster and faster, he spurred his legs into action, propelling forward in one fluid motion.

His feet touched the ground with only a small crunch, and then he fled onwards, darting through the trees faster than he'd thought he was capable of. Once his leaden legs became blurred in motion and his eyes were narrowed to slits and set on the task, the scenery on either side of him faded into black, and it was only the trees before him that he concentrated on. Several times his ears popped in protest and he thought his lungs would implode inside him, but he carried on.

_Suicide mission… Strength… __**Rido**__…_

_(Hana's wide wet eyes as he traced his scars, begging Kain to take them away. But he couldn't. They were marks of a Pureblood. Permanent. Many would call them a gift really, even though they marred his entire expanse of his back. Kain hadn't been there to protect him, so he could barely imagine the horrors Hana had faced. Reminders of Rido forever branded in his skin. He could never forget. The pain, the humiliation, the fear –)_

Had Kain been more attentive and looked back and seen the direction the Hunter was going, he might have faltered. The opposite direction to his own travel, through the same path he had come from – he had let the Hunter head right to Kuran Castle. And he would never know of it.

* * *

><p>Nori's scent trail was surprisingly easy and strong like a thick, imaginary rope of scent to follow. At the back of his mind, Takuma found this highly suspicious. Now it seemed to him that nothing could be easy and simple without having a catch. Surely they were running straight into a trap… but what else could they do? Already they were running at a breakneck speed, dodging the Level Es that dropped to the floor around them, and there was no time to backtrack or slow down or pause for thought. They just had to keep running. Running forwards. Don't look back –<p>

"Ah!"

Takuma's whole body jumped at Boy's pained yelp, and the hairs on his neck stood up on end as he smelt something he had been dreading.

Blood. Boy had cut himself. His blood hung in the air – a thin rivulet of Human blood. Shit. And they were _still_ in an area surrounded by Es –

He swore loudly, pushing his straining muscles even harder, pumping his legs faster.

Now every Level E would know _exactly_ where they were. Even though they had poor eyesight in comparison to Takuma, and that had been the major advantage they'd had over them so far in their plight – _now_ the Es had the advantage. They had bloodhound-noses. They could smell blood so clearly – they were primed for tracking blood, motivated by the crazed hunger each one of them held for it…

"Ah – ff – _shit_!" Takuma squealed as an E landed right in front of them. They propelled the E backwards a few steps, but the backwards force also pushed them back.

Without hesitation, Takuma whipped out his katana one-handed and sliced the E to dust.

"Sir-!" Boy gasped in obvious awe, but Takuma had no patience for his puppy-eyed wonder.

"Move!" he demanded, yanking Boy with enough strength that he heard him let out a startled whimper. A pang of guilt shot through Takuma. After a few more yards of free running, he yelled, "Hop on," over his shoulder, and squeezed Boy's hand in warning. He abruptly stopped running, giving Boy the fleeting opportunity where he was able to leap onto Takuma's back and shoulders. Takuma grabbed each of the flailing limbs and secured them quickly around his waist as his legs immediately rolled back into action, launching forwards into another sprint. This time he had to angle his body forwards to streamline their shape, yet this position pushed them to the edge of their balance.

Takuma was still sniffing the trail with ninety per cent of his whole concentration, and he found himself soon in somewhat familiar territory – or at least, he found the layout of the Castle becoming more prevalent, resembling Kuran Castle's galleries and lower floor plan more and more.

Though he had never been to Hanadagi Castle before, he could ultimately deduce their path was leading towards the ballroom or the throne room – the central point of the Castle.

Would this be Rido's hub? Would he be there? Would Kohaku be there?

Takuma briefly glanced upwards after sprinting through another gallery.

The numbers of Level Es passing them and dropping onto the floors was much less now than it had been before. Still, he could see the ceiling crawling with them, but they seemed to be moving outwards with purpose, to the outer regions of the castle.

To where his troops were.

Unaware.

They had travelled far enough away from the fray that the screams of the troops were no more than whispers. He could barely hear them over the hissing and scrabbling noises from the Es overhead.

Did this mean that Rido had sent the Es out, to attack his soldiers? If that was so, he had no idea why they were somehow managing to be ignored or overlooked. Surely Boy's blood would make them a major target? Or was it that Rido's control over the Es was so strong that he could even hardwire their brains to only focus on the task he'd set them? If that were so… they'd still be under orders to target himself and Boy, since they were still the enemy…

Something was really strange about this.

It was almost as if the Es were only focused on moving outwards, like they had just been ordered to go to the places where the troops were likely to be. They weren't aware of their surroundings otherwise, so the fact that Takuma and Boy were moving _inwards_ towards the core of the castle meant that they were moving _against the flow_. They were being completely missed.

The fact that this "order" given to the Es was so brusque and almost…_rushed_, meant something. Rido wasn't a man who ordered things to be done carelessly. He always had a plan. Somehow, Takuma thought that Rido would only ever have lacked concentration to control his Level E army if his mind was elsewhere, or if he was otherwise distracted.

Or, if his plan had been botched.

They hurried down a few more corridors, unhindered and confused, with Takuma trying not to be lead consciously towards the ballroom. He knew his mind was telling him that that was where Kohaku should be, but he had to isolate himself from conscious thought. Instead, he had to rely on his senses _only_. The path Nori's scent traced could all be another trap. The only thing Takuma could rely on was his senses. Though the scent may be leading to a trap, Takuma could try to detect where other possible routes may have been "covered up" by other scents. Basically, Takuma found himself smelling the under-notes of Nori, and was getting accustomed to a different yet similar smell – of his son, his own blood transformed (or translated into the next generation). Kohaku's smell was the equivalent of a fresher, younger wine in comparison to a deep vintage. It didn't have the depth of centuries lived, ages past…

Eventually though, he did find himself leading them towards the ballroom, and as they did reach the back-door to the room, Takuma looked up and saw that the stream of Es was still flowing to the outer castle, and somehow as they stepped into the ballroom corridor they essentially passed the Es. The ballroom corridor's ceilings were bare, so it seemed that they did not originate from here. Takuma's eyes still darted all over before he allowed them to tentatively approach the ballroom. The stench of blood was still quite powerful there (and quite fresh). He carefully let Boy onto the floor as they reached the door, and then he drew out his katana as a precaution.

Who knew what lay behind the door? If it was Kohaku or another trap? Takuma wanted to be prepared…

_Thump!_

Boy gasped, and Takuma quickly threw an arm in front of him protectively.

The door throbbed with the force of whatever had just thrown itself against it, from the other side. They were frozen in fear. What _was_ that? Takuma held his katana before him –

_Thump!_ "S-Sir!" The door was splintered, a long crack ran through it, but it was still intact.

"On my word," he panted, taking Boy to the side and positioning him correctly. He shot Boy a determined look, even though it proved ineffective since he couldn't be seen. "On my word," he repeated, "You'll kick the door open. It's right in front of us," he said unnecessarily.

"Soldier," he grunted, wondering why for once Boy was being so quiet. He shook Boy's shoulder and was rewarded with a small hiss and something sticky on his fingertips.

"Sorry sir, it h-hurts…"

Ah, the wound.

Takuma gentled his hand, biting his lip nervously, "How bad is it? A cut? A…" _Bite?_

"It's just a small cut, but I… I think I was nicked by either a claw or fang,"

Claw or fang… it was probably a fang then, Takuma deduced, since Boy (even though he was damn annoying and talkative) wasn't the type to complain about trivial wounds, he could only guess it was a fang-wound, since they did tend to be more painful. It was the venom which made it sting. Purebloods' venom was the only type that could Turn Humans, but any Vampire's venom would sting when injected into the bloodstream.

"It was most likely torn by a Level E tooth, so you have no reason to worry. It will just be the usual venom of any Vampire mouth," Takuma explained with a comforting pat, "I guess it will just bleed a little more than usual, and it'll twinge a bit,"

"Oh… okay,"

Takuma nodded, turning to grasp the doorknob again, "Are you rea–" _Thump!_ "Ready now? On my word," _Thump!_ The door shook, and a small slither of wood was knocked out.

He was half-gnawing on his bottom lip in anxiousness, his slippery blooded fingers sliding around the knob with a gross squelch. Boy's hand came to rest on his shoulder for support, and Takuma could feel him pulling his leg back, ready to kick the door open full-force. He shook his head.

"No. Change of plan. I'm going to blast open the door, _you're_ going to be ready for what comes out of it, okay?" he sensed Boy hesitantly lower his leg, "Don't worry. I'm right here beside you, you're not alone," he comforted, feeling the tightness with which Boy held onto him as an indicator of his fear.

He hesitated too, before carefully handing Boy his precious katana, closing the boy's shaking fingers around the hilt tightly. He was entrusting his _katana_ to someone he barely knew…

But it was for a good reason. Boy was afraid. Because not only was he to be the one to face whatever was behind the door first… he couldn't see a _thing _in the darkness. Truthfully, it was unfair for Takuma to demand this of him, but how else could it work? Takuma had to open the door, by this time the thing inside would rush out and would have the advantage over them, if neither of them was prepared for it.

He held one hand wrapped around Boy's wrist, the other poised in front of the door.

After taking half a breath, Takuma rolled his shoulders and steeled himself before pinching Boy's wrist.

"Now!"

The door exploded into a cloud of splinters and sawdust.

And then… something pounced them.

* * *

><p>Time found Kaname brooding – or could you call it "looking pensive"? Either way, a faint crinkle line folded between his brows, and his chin was grasped in the classic "thought pose", and his lips fluttered around barely perceptible words as he <em>brooded<em>.

Take this pose and then flip it onto its side.

He wasn't sitting hunched over, or pacing the room restlessly, or even laying on his back facing the ceiling calmly.

He was nestled on his side with his head propped on Zero's right knee, much to the Hunter's chagrin. Over the course of the time taken to calm Kaname down, a peaceful silence had settled over the two, as well as a sense of their new friendship being strangely but pleasantly exploited in closeness. Zero would never have allowed _any old friend_ to rest their head on his lap _willingly_. But when could someone like Kaname ever be counted as "any old friend" (could he even be called an "old" friend?)? He had made his own category. Consequently, he'd seen no reason to follow normal friendship protocol and _ask_ Zero permission to use his lap as a pillow, he'd simply scooted a little away from Zero and then tipped over onto his side, planting his head squarely on that right thigh. His calculations were exact, but for Zero's own comfort, his head had been deemed "too close" and been shoved onto his bony knee instead.

Still, Kaname lay quite comfortably there, and after Zero's peeved mutterings had subsided, it was Kaname's turn to begin muttering under his breath. His mind was clear again, of guilt from his parents and such, and now it was time to start to make new plans again.

This planning however, had been going on for quite some time. Zero flopped backwards to lie on his back, sighing loudly. Just as he began to squirm into a more comfortable position, the door swung open and Kaname immediately leapt to his feet.

The intrusion was made by a male servant, whose flushed expression and wild eyes told Kaname his rudeness could be ignored, since he clearly had news to deliver.

"Kuran-sama, there's a visitor – I apologise – I tried to take him to the parlour, but-"

"Speak slower," Kaname said calmly, walking slowly to the boy so as to not frighten him.

"-he put a _gun_ to my head, and said-"

"A gun?" Zero's skin prickled at the mention of a gun. The boy nodded emphatically, twisting his shirt hem in his excitement.

"He did, sir. I told the others to keep him in the parlour but he's not being very cooperative-"

"Where is he now?" Kaname asked, though with a glance to the side, he already spotted the "_visitor_" and couldn't help but sigh in exasperation.

It took the boy stuttering a few more words about the gun and a "terrible smell" and then actually _smelling_ the terrible smell for Zero to realise who the visitor was.

The smell of cigars drifted out from the side, and Zero turned to see exactly who he'd suspected casually pull out of the shadows and saunter over to them, oozing with a mix of arrogance and a genuinely charming "rebellious" aura.

"Kaito-kun?" he asked in disbelief, stepping to his fellow colleague and finding himself tugged into a rough, side-hug that only lasted a second. The other Hunter then playfully shoved Zero aside and wrinkled his nose, grumbling about whatever he could and then winking at Zero.

"Long time no see, Zero-kun," he drawled, then turning to address Kaname. Zero rolled his eyes at the deliberate way Kaito stiffened his posture and dipped into a small patronising bow, "Kuran-sama,"

"Takamiya-san," Kaname greeted coolly, folding his arms in an off-hand manner, though Zero could tell that he wasn't exactly _happy_ with Kaito's sudden visit. The Pureblood shot a quick dismissing look to the servant who quickly scurried away, and then he turned back to his guest with all the calm, hospitality he could summon as the host, in a small gracious smile.

The three stood in an uncomfortable silence for all of about five seconds before Zero decided to move things along.

"I assume you've come here for a reason, Kaito-kun,"

"Indeed I have, Zero-chan,"

When he said no more, Zero rolled his eyes again, knowing better than to rise to the bait of being teased like this. Instead he pointedly stared at his friend and waited.

Kaito smirked a little, before it twisted into a rather sour grimace.

"I need to speak to Kuran,"

Zero's eyebrows practically snapped as they slammed together in a scowl. He folded his arms, like Kaname, but more for the reason of preventing himself from punching his _annoying_ friend, "And not me?"

Kaito shook his head slowly, and Zero's scowl deepened when he saw Kaito's eyes trail him up and down with an expression of honest concern and confusion. His eyes widened at the sight of some bruises, and turned to Kaname with a sneer. Zero tensed, knowing by Kaito's sometimes volatile nature, he might attack Kaname. It was easy to piece together the conclusion Kaito was drawing from seeing the bruises and _Kaname_ there, "No. Not you," he answered bluntly, his face scrunching in confusion, "What are you even doing here? I was expecting you there at the Academy,"

"It's a long story," Kaname cut in, suddenly gesturing for Kaito to follow him as he turned to the right, "Come. Let us talk then,"

Had Zero been the type to throw a tantrum, he would have, just then.

Who was he to be so easily dismissed?

"Oi, Kaito! Kaname!" he snapped, watching in frustration as Kaito didn't even glance back, and his form shrank the further he went down the corridor.

_Who do you think I am?_

He made to follow them, when Kaname abruptly turned back and surprisingly stopped in front of him, like a guard preventing access, he blocked Zero off. Zero snarled, shoving Kaname, though his weak arms barely pushed him, "Kaname, move!"

He frowned as Kaname shook his head and placed a hand on his shoulder, "It's clear Takamiya-san needs to speak to me _alone_, Zero. I would appreciate it if you can accept this. It seems his message is urgent,"

His message is urgent… Zero's frown intensified even further (if that was even possible), as he thought it through – wasn't Kaito stationed at the Academy? What was he doing here then?

He wanted – no, _needed_ to know what Kaito had to say. Wasn't he a part of all this? Wasn't it imperative that he know things too?

Zero opened his mouth to snarl something else out, when Kaname spoke.

"Go to the kitchens, get something to eat. You need to keep up your strength," he spoke gently. Zero, astounded by the nerve of this man – how he had returned so quickly to _ordering _him to do things after before – when he'd been kind enough to _comfort_ Kaname, narrowed his eyes warningly. Kaname however, only smiled kindly, "Do as I say, Zero. You've not eaten for some time,"

And there was this small spark in his eyes as he said this, staring at Zero so intensely, that communicated a different message to Zero.

It could either be: _Go to the kitchens, _meaning perhaps that… maybe Kaname was saying something about the room being close enough for Zero to listen in. Could _that_ be what Kaname was trying to say? (It was clear that Kaito would not speak in Zero's presence, for whatever reason.)

Or, the spark could be even more obscurely telling him: _I'll tell you later_… Zero wondered if this could be true. If Kaname _did_ spill things to him later, his respect for him would undeniably grow, for the trust Kaname would show for him.

But, perhaps Kaname was simply telling Zero to go to the kitchens because he wanted him _gone_. Maybe he was just teasing Zero with the spark in his eyes.

"Come on, Kuran!" Kaito called impatiently from way down the corridor. "This is urgent business,"

Kaname spared another quick, meaningful look at Zero (the curious spark there again) and then he went to meet the impatient Hunter before he made a ruckus.

Zero was left standing in the corridors for a few moments, before he huffed and spun on his heel to go to the kitchens, damning his traitorous stomach as it confirmed his hunger with an embarrassingly loud growl.


	81. My Meal Eludes Me

**Author's note:**

**i lied. im so sorry! i said i'd update more often during this half term, but ive been unfortnately busy. so so sorry. please forgive me! TT_TT**

**i have missed ffnet...**

* * *

><p>"I never intended to come here,"<p>

Kaname poured some water into a glass and dropped four tiny white pills into it, then with a glass stirrer he mixed the liquid into a pale cloudy pink solution. He relished the disgusted expression on the young Hunter's face as he sipped the drink, until he himself struggled to maintain a neutral expression as the sickening taste assaulted his tongue. Blood pills – he imagined they were actually made of soot, or ash, because they certainly tasted like it. Grainy and bitter… Kaname swallowed the mix quickly.

"Kurosu Academy has been experiencing small attacks recently," Kaito continued, fingering his holster. His eyes never left Kaname, and his hand was always close to his right side, on his hip. This news caused Kaname to frown a little, but he had been expecting Level Es to be hanging around the Academy, especially after the initial sightings before the Coronation.

"Groups of four or five have turned into six or eight," the Hunter said, "Growing in size and frequency,"

"Why have we not heard of this?" Where were the missives? The messengers? What had happened to keeping allies well-informed, up-to-date? Communication is vital in a war.

Kaito threw Kaname an exasperated glare, "Well, we haven't got tons of fighters to spare, you know? The Night Class is doing a good job of being a makeshift army at the times we need them, and they've been doing patrols and stuff… but recently the attacks are coming harder, and faster. There's barely enough time to recover between attacks. It's getting…_difficult_," he shifted uneasily, finally looking up to meet Kaname's widened eyes, "To cope with things. The Day Class – we tried evacuating them at first. But then it became obvious that sending them out was just making them easy targets, especially when they got beyond the reaches of the Academy grounds," he hunched his shoulders and his other hand went into his pockets. Kaname watched him huff in annoyance, and his darting eyes… Kaito appeared deeply disturbed by what he said.

That was to imply… that those evacuations hadn't been _successful_.

Kaname could just picture the young faces of the Day Class – the pure terror as they tried to escape the hungry clutches of creatures beyond their wildest nightmares. The Level Es would pursue them mercilessly till they could run no further, and their slaughtered Night Classmates would lie still, leaving them open and vulnerable, easy meals for the beasts. And in their last moments, they would blame the Vampires –

"So the rest of them are being held deep inside the building, at the safest point. But still, we're not sure how long we can hold out for," Kaito cut across Kaname's thoughts.

The pause after this only lasted a few hasty seconds.

"Have you come here to ask for more soldiers?" Kaname blurted, sighing as he saw Kaito nod. He missed the Hunter shrugging a little less surely after.

"More soldiers would help. The Night Class are good fighters, but they aren't _fighters_. Plus, you can't imagine how distraught Headmaster is. Yagari-sensei spent half his energy stopping Headmaster from keeping the Night Class out of it,"

"I can imagine," Kaname drawled, picturing his old friend's cheerful façade drop at the sight of his beloved students diving into battle. Though the Headmaster would without hesitation stay out on the grounds, protecting his precious students restlessly, it simply wasn't possible for him to do so. Yagari must know his mentor's tendencies to be immovably stubborn (like his own student) so he would have tied Kaien to a chair or locked him in a room or something, just to prevent him from going suicidal into the fray or seeking the Level Es in blinded, hungry revenge (for the deaths of the children, his children who he thought he'd sent to safety, slain and eaten…slain and eaten…).

Kaname sighed heavily, raising his head to the Hunter who had claimed the opposite chair to his desk. With a second, better look, Kaname could see that – despite the implication that Kaito had been sent with this message, he didn't look like he'd travelled much. He wasn't sweating, he was reasonably clean (apart from the stench of cigar smoke) and the boots he'd propped on his neat desk (which had carelessly been dumped to scatter his neatly organised stacks of work) were only slick with dirty water (smudging his _work_, damn it), not caked with it. "Takamiya-san," he spoke quietly, aching to direct the man to move his feet, but the damage was already done so he remained quiet about it. "If you are asking for reinforcements, I'm afraid I cannot give you any,"

Kaito dug into his breast-pocket this time, and with a small triumphant grunt he drew out a cigar. Consequently he began to puff at it, blowing smoke into Kaname's face.

"Did you hear me? I cannot give you more soldiers," Kaname repeated calmly, yet with a small bite to his words. He hated this Hunter's behaviour. Even after they had come to a truce in the past War, where working together became inevitable, Kaito never ceased with his hate of Purebloods. He always made things difficult in business by grating on Kaname's nerves.

"I heard you," Kaito scoffed, rocking back in his seat.

"We are midway in a war and already our numbers are diminishing. The battle hasn't even fully begun. We cannot afford to send you more soldiers,"

"Even at the expense of the Humans?" the Hunter rocked forwards to lean on his knees, so he could glare directly at Kaname. "Sure, the 'final battle' hasn't come yet, and we don't know when it will be, but in the meantime people are being killed. Students – _kids_, Kuran. They're just a bunch of kids, and they're being attacked in a place _we_ guaranteed to them would be safe,"

Kaname closed his eyes, releasing a hissing deep breath. He remembered after the final days of the previous War, when the Headmaster and himself were freed from their duties and they had to deal with the hundreds of traumatised students, outside the ruins of their school. Though he had offered to perform a huge mind-sweep and clear their memories, the Headmaster suggested that they simply tell the students everything – they would reveal the Night Class and the existence of Hunters and Vampires. They did so in one night. Headmaster explained to Kaname that the only way they could move forwards in establishing peace and understanding between the Humans and Vampires was if they allowed the "young generation" to _know_ about them. How else could they expect peace if they didn't at first create understanding? On that night the Day Class were sworn to secrecy, at the cost of a promise to protect them. Most of the students had been actually rather thrilled to finally understand why their Night-classmates were so _perfect_, whilst those who couldn't handle the secrecy (or the fear) were cleared of their memories and sent away.

But those who stayed…those who entrusted them with their safety, their _lives_, were currently sitting, helpless in danger with nowhere to go.

"Can you condone this?"

Kaname folded his arms and leant them onto his desk, glaring at Kaito's toes.

"No, I will not condone this," he answered coolly, "And it's because of this reason that **I** will be going to the Academy,"

"Don't be cocky," Kaito scoffed, shaking his boots in Kaname's face before retracting his legs. He scooted forwards so he was right in Kaname's face, the chair legs scraped the floor like nails on a chalkboard, making Kaname's sensitive ears ring. "You cannot help them alone. Even if you're a Pureblood, there are _tons_ of Es. You're not enough,"

_You're not enough…_

"I cannot send in more soldiers; not when we need to keep them for the final battle,"

"Much as I hate you, Kuran, _you_ also can't be spared. If _you_ go, your whole fan-club will fall apart. So what will we gain from sacrificing _you_ to the Academy's cause? We need you for the final battle too, damn it-"

"No we don't," Kaname cut in. It only occurred to him now that Kaito was lacking in information, and he did not know that ultimately it would not and could not be Kaname who dealt the killing strike to Rido, in whatever form it may be. He considered telling Kaito this, but then realised – it didn't matter. Not when he knew that the Academy was in such trouble. He shouldn't be wasting time sitting around talking, "I won't be fighting in that battle," he shook out a coat and began buttoning it swiftly, "So I should at least fight in _one_ battle during this war. And I assure you," he smirked at Kaito _cockily_, "I _will_ be enough," he began striding to the door, purposefully ignoring Kaito as he stumbled to his feet to follow him.

He would be enough.

Against some Level Es? Of course he'd be enough.

"Kuran, wait!"

He blanked Kaito again, crossing the balcony to the main staircase. By telling Zero to go to the kitchens he diverted a whole other complication – the kitchens were far to the back of the castle. Hopefully (_hopefully_) if Zero listened to his orders, he would be somewhere there, whilst Kaname and Kaito would be to the front of the castle. At least, he thought, Zero wouldn't be able to listen into their conversation. A little stab of guilt hit him in his chest (where the Bond was–) for tricking Zero like that, but –

"Listen to me, Kuran! Damn it!"

Kaname sighed, stopping to let Kaito catch up. He threw him an impatient questioning look.

"It's not just a bunch of regular Es, 'kay? You're not gonna… well…I need to tell you something else first,"

_Spit it out, man_ –"Yes?"

"I told you before – I didn't intend on coming here,"

Kaname suppressed a growl of annoyance, "Yes,"

"I was guarding again," Kaito explained, grasping Kaname's sleeve to prevent him descending the stairs, "From the attacks we've been getting, we know the Es are being controlled and we basically assumed they had orders to create havoc around the Humans. But less and less, they attack the Humans. We've realised that – really, it's only when we sent the students out that they got attacked – because they're _in the way of the true _target. Recently they've been aiming for a particular _person_," he smiled ruefully, "I suppose it's obvious who,"

It only took a couple of seconds for Kaname to understand –

They're targeting someone at the Academy. Not the students, but the –

He gasped sharply.

"Headmaster,"

Kaito nodded, "Yes, the Headmaster. Don't ask me why, I have no idea. But, what I wanted to tell you is that they've managed to get pretty close to him. He's been wounded a couple of times – not _seriously_, but that – **that** is the type of strength the Es have, nowadays. They can pass through Vampires, trained Hunters – they can injure a legendary Hunter. Does this give you an idea why I'm saying you should _not_ underestimate them?

"I was guarding the Headmaster," he said, returning to his previous talk, "And they burst into the room. We just began blasting them," he tapped his gun, "And then they were just piling into the room. It was _really_ crazy – one of the worst attacks I've seen. There was dust everywhere. Yagari-sensei came into the room then, 'cause he heard all the commotion, and…" Kaito shrugged, "I was there one moment. I saw him leap across the room to the Headmaster's side. He was batting the Es away and hoarding him to the back, to the secret passage – I think Headmaster got injured, 'cause all of a sudden the Es gave out this horrid cry. I went over to their side to help ward them off while they got him to safety, but before I could reach them – sensei grabbed me. He told me to get to you, to explain everything. Then he slapped a seal on me, and – next thing I knew, I was in the forest.

"Oh yeah," he released Kaname's clothing but held his gaze, "I saw one of your Vamps I saw running off in the forest. He smelt of Noble blood and roses and shit, so I let him pass. He looked in a hurry,"

_Kain_, Kaname realised, inwardly cursing the fire-master. If Kaito had seen him in the forest, and he had arrived at Kuran Castle already, he guessed that Kain must have reached the Hanadagi's anytime now too. He could only hope that Kain didn't act stupidly, and managed to control his cousin, who _was_ acting stupidly (boy, what a punishment Aidou was in for…).

"Sensei was protecting the Humans – in the basement," Kaito added, "They're all held down there, so it's easier to protect them in one place only – one entrance to guard,"

Kaname's eyes widened, "The basement?" he gasped, "That's… that's _perfect_. We can get them out of there. We can get them someplace _safer_,"

"How?"

"I'll tell you when we get there. But right now, we must leave, immediately. We must leave-" he called on the nearest servant, "I want you to tell the others I will be gone for a while. Souen-san is in charge, understand? Tell them they are to remain in the castle at all times. If, by any chance, the others arrive back, you are to heal them and gather them too in the parlour near to my room. Make sure Kiry- Zero… make sure Zero is _fed_ and… make sure he doesn't run away," he turned back to Kaito after dismissing the servant, "When we get there, you'll go to down to the basement. Make sure they're safe and gather them in the east-most vault. You will wait for me there. I'll be fetching your sensei and the Headmaster,"

The Hunter looked disgruntled at being given orders from his most-hated, but he nodded curtly. They began to walk again briskly, but just as they reached the Entrance hall, Kaname heard the sound of certain footsteps which made his heart beat faster and a breath catch in his throat (which Kaito noticed, grasping his gun again). The Bond which had ruthlessly choked him almost blue before, from the separation, suddenly latched onto him again with a much gentler caress – soothing his intangible wounds with an invisible clawed hand that raked deeply into his side of the Bond and reminded him of its incompleteness and its _impatience_.

He motioned to Kaito to put the gun down. The Hunter did so before however, since he also recognised the footsteps, growing alarmingly in volume as _someone_ stormed into their path.

"You won't be going without me,"

Kaname sighed. Zero looked exhausted. Sagged against the wall with his arms gripping it for purchase, he looked like he could barely hold up his own weight, let alone _go along with them_.

But he was obstinately still _there_, and his eyes held them both with (understandable) contempt for their secrecy.

"Zero-kun, really?" Kaito tutted, shaking his head mockingly, "Eavesdropping?"

"Shut it, Kaito," Zero snapped, though his eyes were fixed on Kaname, and likewise, Kaname could not turn away from Zero, even as the shame of tricking him somehow managed to draw blood to colour his ears faintly. He felt like a deer caught in headlights – the guilt pinning him there. He was unable to shift Zero's imploring gaze, and there was something about the way Zero looked so fragile and _breakable _with his entire weight leant against the wall and crumpling as he slid down it, the way his eyes were still staring at him so wide and _trusting_, which just about broke Kaname's heart.

Eyes that held confusion, worry, anger, but most of all – betrayal.

He knew that Zero had been expecting to be let in on the conversation, by Kaname's subtle signals. Sending him to the kitchens had been the opposite of that fake plan – it had been a method of keeping Zero far away from them, since Kaname predicted he would be leaving the castle with Kaito to deal with whatever business he had brought with him, and most of all, Kaname didn't want Zero to follow. He didn't want him out of the castle. He didn't want him to follow them. He wanted him safe. He wanted him _there_, to wait for him.

"Kaname?"

Kaname's heart thudded strongly at the utterance of his name, so soft and frail. It was spoken in such a way that Kaname knew, from Zero's gentle tone, that he was being given a chance to explain himself. But what could he say? _I tricked you because I didn't want to order you away. You wouldn't listen to me otherwise. I want to order you to stay here. I want you to listen._

"He is _not_ coming with us,"

The gruff voice shook him out of his trance, and suddenly he remembered Kaito there.

The older Hunter was stood firmly, his arms crossed and eyes narrowed and glaring at Zero, to Kaname's shock. Kaito raised his chin just as Zero was about to speak, "You're staying here,"

Kaname tried not to nod fervently – Kaito had just told Zero to do what he wanted him to – the hard work was done. But he knew, that if he agreed _like that_, well… it would have made his indirect way of telling Zero the same thing ineffective (even though his indirect plan was _ultimately_ ruined now, because Zero had suddenly turned up out of nowhere).

"Shut up Kaito, I don't answer to you," Zero snarled, peeling himself away from the wall. He took steady striding steps towards them, as proof that he was strong enough to join them. To both their surprises, Zero didn't end up in front of Kaito, but _Kaname_.

With every step that came his way, turning Zero away from his colleague, towards Kaname – Kaname's heartbeat (that was already audible to himself, thundering through his ears and making his left pinky twitch) sped and he found himself staring at his shoes to hide his guilt.

Zero settled in front of him, and he could hear a slight wheeze in his heavy breathing that made him look up in concern. From closer up, he could see a blood-feud bruise sprinkling the corner of Zero's right eye and cheekbone and his fingers itched to touch it.

"Kaname," Zero repeated, in the same easy tone (the same tone which made Kaname's throat painfully dry). He tried to avoid Zero's probing stare, but as soon as his own eyes crossed them, his entire vision was sucked into one direction – one person – Zero. And he found the burning in his ears all the more prominent, as well as the spontaneous decision to crack the knuckles in his right hand as he squeezed his pinky still. It was Zero – his wide opalescent eyes and the bruise shaped like a crescent moon on his cheek – "Why? You…you told me to… why did you-"

"Zero, I'm sorry," Kaname stammered, finding such words strange on his tongue, but fitting to the situation (something also told him that he would be likely to find saying those words more frequent in the future, if he and Zero continued to be friends), "I…" he cracked his other hand, ignoring Kaito's disgusted grimace, "I didn't want to… to _order_ you. Knowing that you… don't like it,"

"So you tricked me?"

Kaname flinched, raising his hands in a placating gesture, though Zero didn't even look that angry really – "I didn't want you to be angry. And… I want you to be safe. Stay here. And. You looked hungry, really-"

"But you promised we'd stick _together_ during this war," he insisted, reminding Kaname of the Bond and the promise they'd made – "You gave me that-" _**look**_, Zero wanted to say. His eyes searched Kaname for the truth and found, far too easily, the guilt that lay there. And Zero realised he'd been fooled by a fake a secret made between them, purposefully created as a twinkle in Kaname's conspiratorial eyes, and by his own foolish trust for the Pureblood to be… to be…

He shook his head then, turning to his colleague. Kaito.

"I'm coming with you," he informed him, stating it obliquely to Kaname as well, and he spoke firmly. The decision was made –

"You're _injured_, Zero. And _fuck_, what happened to you? This wasn't here before," Kaito poked the crescent moon bruise on his cheek, and both he and Kaname saw Zero wince from it. Kaname's chest panged, watching Zero smack Kaito's hand away with a scowl and rub his cheek soothingly. "You're in no state to come with us. You shouldn't even have heard-"

"Well I did!" Zero snapped, anger suddenly colouring his face as he glowered at them. As his eyes flickered to Kaname – _disappointment_ – "And I'm coming, whether you agree to it or not," he shot a defiant glare at Kaname then, which shot right to his guilt and multiplied it a hu– "There's _no way_ you can stop me. _Especially_ now you've mentioned the Headmaster is injured. He's my guardian, much as I hate to admit it, and it's my duty to make sure he is alright – on behalf of myself and Yuuki, his other charge,"

"I'd much rather take Yuuki-" Kaname muttered, but was silenced by another terrifying glare.

"Yuuki will stay," Zero said succinctly, chewing his lip as he reckoned he'd just, in a sense, made an order on a _Princess_. On _Kaname's _Princess and beloved sister… he explained: "The Castle will need at least one Pureblood here, as a precautionary defence, though I suppose there is low risk of attack whilst we're gone," he surmised. Kaname would never leave Yuuki in a place of danger.

Kaito laughed humourlessly, loudly to startle them both.

"Are you stupid?" he asked Kaname, switching to Zero quickly, "Are _you_ suicidal? You're not going there – end of-"

"Shut it, Kaito,"

"Oi, where's your respect to your sen-"

"I said shut it!" Zero barked, shoving him aside. He wasn't in the mood, nor did he have the patience to deal with someone as stubborn as himself (not to say that Kaname was a less-stubborn being, but he was much more easily swayed). And to Kaname's surprise, Zero stormed over to him again, and though his demeanour was much less gentle and _potentially _forgiving than before (it was now _livid and determined_), he saw Zero stamp his hands to his hips and suck deep breaths in to calm himself, before he finally turned to him –"Kaname?"

Kaname blinked, unsure of what he was meant to say.

Looking at Zero, he suddenly realised what he was being asked.

Permission. Orders.

He remembered what Zero snarled at Kaito before – "_I don't answer to you,"_ and then he recalled how Zero walked over to him the first time and said his name, "_Kaname_," in that way he had thought was connected to his betrayed eyes and imploring stare. But what if it had been Zero coming over to him in a way to say… _I don't answer to Kaito. I answer to _**you**_._

And _now_, Zero was turning to Kaname with a question in his name, on his lips –

Kaname cleared his throat.

"Well," he said, trying not to show the shock overwhelming his senses (Zero was answering to _him_? Where was that grumpy Hunter who hated being ordered by him?), as well as an unexpected smile growing at the corner of his lips (that _Zero _wanted his approval, his orders, his _permission_-) "You… you will follow Kaito. Go with him to wait in the basement,"

Kaname tried not to wince as another flicker of betrayal glimmered in Zero's eyes. He knew it wasn't the nicest order to be given, especially so soon after Zero had given him authority (was it wise to break that respect so soon?). Kaito didn't look too happy either, since he was still pissed at Zero (and likewise). But it was the best move – Zero would be safe with Kaito.

"Kaname-" Zero started, but he cut off his protest.

"Zero, please," his hands reached out before he could stop them and – landed lightly on Zero's shoulders, mindful of the fact that he may be bruised under his shirt there. He felt the muscles of Zero's shoulders tighten in surprise, and he felt the sharpness of his fine bones under his hands, more prominent than before (how did he know how Zero felt before? He supposed that when he lifted and carried Zero, he'd felt him then, but now… now he was much skinnier. Worryingly so). Kaname gave a small smile to Zero, "I want you kept safe,"

Kaname's racing heart was about to leap out of his chest; even more so as Zero's expression of anger first reddened, and then melted away rapidly, leaving him red-faced and shifty with… Kaname wasn't sure if it was embarrassment or something beyond _rage_.

- from his words: "_I want you kept safe,_" –

Kaname quickly drew his hands back, and he stammered, "You see, you're – you're still injured-"

"You're _weak_, Zero-kun," a voice drawled from the sides, and Kaname wasn't fast enough to stop Zero from launching forwards and landing a punch on Kaito's side. The Hunter only laughed in that bitter, cold way again, "See?" he gestured to his assaulted limb, "I didn't feel a thing. You're weak, I tell you," he sent a dirty look at Kaname, "I don't know why you _are_ injured and weak, but it means you can't be in the fight. You'll be sticking with me and the students in the basement,"

"But, the Headmaster-"

"Enough, kid," Kaito snapped, reaching over to cuff Zero's ear. He stopped just before he could, though, when he realised that that wouldn't do any good to Zero in his already weakened state, "Listen to _him_, then," he jerked his chin spitefully towards Kaname, "If you must,"

Zero turned beseeching eyes to Kaname – _I want to fight. I __**can**__ fight. I'm a warrior, Kaname, please –_

"He's right," Kaname said tightly, hating himself as he saw that horrid thing, again reflected in Zero's eyes – disappointment, from the fact that he took Kaito's side against him. But he'd found it again so difficult to simply say to Zero that he _was_ weak, that he _was_ vulnerable and that he would most likely be more of a hindrance than help in a fight. Kaito had said it all for him.

After holding Kaname's distraught but resolute gaze and finding the stubbornness of the Pureblood holding its own against him, Zero relented and backed down gracefully, literally stepping back and letting his eyes fall down in solemn obedience.

It angered Kaname to see him like this. And there was a note of panic settling in him too. Meek… it was the only word he could describe Zero's stance right then, yet he couldn't help but find it a ridiculous word to associate with the Hunter, let alone think it in his vicinity.

What was Zero doing? Why wasn't he fighting back?

Kaname opened his mouth to speak, reaching forwards again to Zero –

"We should be going then,"

Kaname's mouth snapped shut and he nodded stiffly at Kaito for saving them both from the strange atmosphere. Though the Hunter didn't look too pleased still because of Kaname agreeing on taking Zero with them, he also looked somewhat amused, much to Kaname's confusion. That confusion was doubled as Kaito stepped towards him and roughly grabbed him by the shoulder. Even more so, he was shocked that he _let_ him. There was something in his eyes though, which told Kaname to let him touch him so.

"Before we leave, I need to speak to Kaname," Kaito whipped around, armed with a sharp look he threw at Zero as he growled out, "_Alone_," his fingers bit into Kaname's shoulder muscles, and he leant uncomfortably close to hiss, "I'm sure you can arrange that, can't you, Kuran?"

Nodding awkwardly again, he fought against the urge to apologise to Zero, drawing on the air around them to vacuum out the sound, creating a barrier of silence between them and Zero. He saw Zero's lips clearly swearing profusely, but otherwise he only shifted to lean on one leg and crossed his arms with a grumpy expression (almost drawing a relieved smile on Kaname's lips. _This_ was the Zero he knew). Kaito pinched him again, so he responded with a sullen stare.

"He listens to you," Kaito said quickly, dragging Kaname even further away from Zero, even as the younger Hunter matched their steps.

"Indeed,"

As Kaito leaned even _closer_ (Kaname realised that it must be some sort of method the Hunter used to intimidate people into saying more without him verbally "encouraging" them. Catching Zero's puzzled eye, he smiled briefly to reassure him, which only made Zero frown more.), Kaname leaned backwards just as suddenly, thanking his own quick reflexes from saving him being bashed on the nose. Kaito persisted however – somehow managing to make his eye glint menacingly.

"I don't understand it either," Kaname confessed, shrugging emphatically, "He _never_ listens to me, and he hates it when I order him. Maybe he's playing us," he shrugged again, lighter – more hesitantly, "I don't know why he's-"

"That's not what I'm trying to say!" Kaito snapped impatiently, "What I'm saying is _you_ have command over Zero, in whatever form that is… he's given you control," his fingers loosened, though his eyes remained just as vicious, "I trust you'll prove his respect is deserving,"

"I will," Kaname blurted immediately, appalled by the implications Kaito was making. That…that he'd take _advantage_ of Zero's obedience? Ha, like he _could!_ Even if Zero was following his orders, for whatever reason, he was by no means under Kaname's control. If he was, Kaname would know – he'd be directing him. Zero was just…_choosing_ to listen to him (which, to be honest, was now putting Kaname a little on edge. It just didn't seem _right_). Anyhow, Kaname was flattered by Zero's trust and loyalty – in their young friendship, he hadn't expected this much from Zero yet. Still, the Hunter never ceased to amaze him. For the loss of his pride, Zero was giving Kaname so much.

Even after he had tricked Zero and planned to leave him behind… admittedly, now he _wasn't_ going to leave him behind… Zero for some reason or other chose to listen to him…

"I will," he repeated, more firmly, and this time he was the one glaring into Kaito's eyes, so much so that the Hunter eventually released him and slunk through the cloud of silence, which dissipated in his wake. Kaname followed him to Zero's side once more, and found this time that a smile came more easily to his lips as he nodded to Zero.

Zero rolled his eyes, unfolding his arms with a weary sigh, "Done?"

"Let's go," Kaito nodded, quickly making to the door. Kaname held his hand up to stop him though, casting a curious look at Zero, which made him shift uneasily.

"What?" Zero barked after a couple moments of scrutiny, folding his arms defensively again. "Second thoughts?" he sneered, watching as Kaname came up closer to him with agonisingly measured steps and yet impossible elegance.

A little shake of his head told him: no, no second thoughts; and then it was Zero's turn to be shocked, as Kaname grasped his chin and gently squeezed his jaw, popping his mouth open. His face lit up like a beacon again – this time in both embarrassment_ and_ rage – since Kaname had the nerve to lean right into his face and _sniff _him.

_Sniff him_.

And then he made a mortifying clucking noise with his tongue, eyeing Zero like he was… a naughty child or something! Zero smacked his hands away and growled at Kaname's amused eyes.

"I told you to eat something," Kaname noted quietly, and Zero only gaped at him (not noticing that his jaw had been released and could be shut).

The greatest betrayal was, ironically again, his own stomach. Which growled like a freaking lion with a trodden tail.

And then, to add the cherry to the top, Kaito laughed. Loudly.

"You must eat first," Kaname insisted, and with this he ushered Zero and his burning cheeks (and murderous intent to one certain senpai-) away, murmuring under his breath, "…the kitchens, to the kitchens first…" so Zero had no choice but to follow, cursing all the while; Kaito trailed behind them, practically kicking him as he urged them to make haste.

* * *

><p>(The end of the previous chapter):<p>

_Zero was left standing in the corridors for a few moments, before he huffed and spun on his heel to go to the kitchens, damning his traitorous stomach as it confirmed his hunger with an embarrassingly loud growl…_

Trailing down a flight of backstairs he'd found beside the library, Zero then found, to his horror:

He was lost.

It wasn't a common thing for him to be lost, because without being too boastful, he had a truly _excellent_ sense of direction. But somehow, in this castle, he lost all his navigating skills. Every corridor looked different (though they were all lavishly decorated and beautiful), which made them _the same_. The doors were the only recurring pieces – though each of them differed minutely – they generally looked the same too, and most of them were shut so Zero wasn't keen on opening them either.

He was fucking _lost_.

Unbelievable. He considered going back up the stairs and possibly trying to trace his way back to Kaname's room, and then staying there and ignoring his hunger, but…

He was hungry. If he stayed put, he'd still be hungry. It really sucked.

Several minutes later, he still found himself lost, but he also began to smell something that could be remnants of baking or… something sweet – needless to say, his stomach grumbled in approval, and he found his feet moving in a definite direction, so maybe he _wasn't _so lost after all. Zero grinned victoriously as he caught a waft of whatever meal was being cooked (it smelt like there was garlic – the irony), and began to follow it –

Until he was tipped over by a passing (flying) _blur_.

"Ow! Fuck!"

"Sorry! So-"

It was a dishevelled Ichiru who had ploughed through his right shoulder, leaving behind a smarting huge _bruise_ on top of all the other bruises he already had –

"Nii-san?" Ichiru cocked his head, but quickly gathered his wits about him and moving to help Zero up – until he jerked back, as though he had gotten a huge static shock from him (even though he hadn't even touched him). Zero moaned in pain and glowered at his strangely skittish brother. Even though he was the one on the floor, it seemed that Ichiru was the one whose head must have been hit too hard. He was acting awfully strange. Ichiru's frown deepened, seeing his older brother hissing like a spooked cat as he vigorously rubbed his right shoulder. "Did I hurt you? I'm sorry-"

"_Fuck_, Ichiru. What the hell are you doing running like that?" Zero snapped, batting away his twin's concerned hands. He peeked down the neck of his shirt at his purple shoulder and sputtered a few more _colourful_ words in rapid succession, making Ichiru wince at his particularly imaginative choice of language. Zero's eyes centred back on him after choosing to give up on the bruise. They flitted to the small metal pail – the type used as a wine cooler in restaurants, and the dishcloths scattered everywhere (which Ichiru was ducking to scoop up). "What are you doing?" he repeated slowly, flinching as Ichiru whipped up with one wild look before resuming his task.

"I," Ichiru panted, bundling the cloths together, "I have to go. Souen-san said to be quick," with a small shrug he chucked the cloths into the pail, then giving Zero a considering look, "Shiki-san's burning up. Are you sure you're okay?"

Zero nodded dismissively, "Yeah, whatever, just peachy. What did you say about Shi-"

"Good, great," Ichiru nodded sharply, shooting one last curious glance at somewhere around Zero's face, but not _at_ it. And he also started backing away from Zero like he was… coated in radioactive substances, or something. The way he looked warily at him put Zero on edge, and he tried to match his footing to him. "I really need to go, nii-san,"

"Wait, Ichi-"

"See you!" Ichiru yelled over his shoulder – somehow managing to vanish to half-way down the opposite corridor before Zero could get another word in.

"Ichiru! _Hey!_" he bellowed back, following at the same pace for a few paces till…

Inevitably, he had to slow down. His pants were harsh and burning. What…what was happening to his body? Before this stupid Bond… he could easily sprint miles without breaking sweat. Now he couldn't even manage a few corridors. Zero tentatively massaged his burning throat and chest, wondering if he could possibly have internal bleeding there, for the pain was much more than he expected (however, his body was quite sensitive to pain ever since it got bruised all over).

Where did Ichiru go?

He was left, ironically of all places, in the middle of a junction in the corridor. It must have taken longer than he thought to calm his breathing and raging pulse down so he could listen properly, because by then he couldn't even hear any of Ichiru's receding footsteps.

Just because he could, Zero swore loudly again.

"Ichiru!" he called, cupping his mouth in each direction. But it was obvious Ichiru wouldn't answer him. Hadn't he run off like hell was chasing him, just to escape him? When his stomach started growling insistently, he smacked it and then smacked his lips. Couldn't he get a break? Part of his mind was still obsessing over Kaname and Kaito's secret conversation, because frankly, shouldn't Kaito choose him over Kaname to spill these things to? Who did he trust more – him or Kaname? But Kaito had been surprisingly tolerant of Kaname, and more obedient to whoever's orders he was obeying – which instantly told Zero that it had to be Yagari who had sent him there. No one did Kaito respect more than Yagari.

He groaned in frustration. After being denied this information, sent off to the kitchens and being sent there so he _could_ hopefully listen in on the conversation (if Kaname's eyes had been saying anything), he was knocked over by his own brother who didn't stop to pick him back up and _then_ went racing off in some other direction (clearly desperate to avoid him for whatever reason).

Zero tipped his head back, as though he was asking some greater being: _why?_ Why was he constantly getting the short end of the stick?

But he shook himself out of his spiritual dilemma and took a wild guess (now: totally lost) on the left bend on the junction, and he made his way right to the end –

Where he heard voices.

One of the voices being Kaname's.

With a sniff, he frowned. Where was the smell of food? Where was the kitchen then?

Suspicions crept up on Zero, and suddenly he wondered _why_ he thought Kaname had been suggesting something to him with what he had thought was a peculiar look. Maybe he had read too much into it. Maybe Kaname had just wanted to send him off to get food so he'd be out of the way.

Well that plan was screwed now, wasn't it? He'd made his way back to them, and now…

"Headmaster…"

_Headmaster_? Zero cocked his head, creeping forwards where he leant his head against the door. What about the Headmaster?

"…guarding the Headmaster…"

_Now_, Zero thought, he simply could _not_ ignore what they were saying, if they mentioned the Headmaster needing guarding. What the hell was happening with him if _he_ needed protection?

"…burst into the room. We just began blasting them…"

He pressed his ear closer to the door, mouth dropping slightly agape as he listened to what they were saying, or rather – to what Kaito was telling Kaname. Why didn't they know any of this? No way… _no way…_


	82. If You Can Hope

**Author's Note:**

**Again, I've been neglectful, and I feel awful about it. Truly. Hopefully this satisfies for now... don't worry - more KZ is on the way!**

* * *

><p><strong>"Fear is contagious. You can catch it."<strong>

**~ NEIL GAIMAN, _The Graveyard Book_**

**"You are frightened of everything. You call it caution. You call it common sense. You call it practicality. You call it playing the odds, but that's only because you're afraid to call it by its real name, and its real name is fear."**

**~ MICK FARREN, _Darklost_**

* * *

><p>"Oh my g-!"<p>

Blood spattered their faces, sticky and cold. The force of the E knocking into Boy's body also shoved Takuma against the wall, so he was squashed between Boy's back and it, and he could not hear anything but Boy's alarmed yell ringing in his ears.

And then there was an explosion of a very different but familiar smell.

Boy's blood, pouring out like a river –

Takuma gave an almighty bellow, throwing all his weight into heaving the suffocating mass off him, but to his surprise Boy bucked him back, squashing him further against the wall. He could hear the grunts from the E, Boy grappling for a hold on it, the thuds of blows hitting their targets – but on who – ?

In the scuffle, he found himself unable to move, with his _subordinate _protecting him with his own body like a shield. What the hell was Boy doing? What was he thinking? It was _Takuma's_ responsibility to protect _him_. Again, Takuma shoved himself off the wall, bracing his hands in front of his shoulders and pushing off the wall like a push-up.

This time it was worryingly easy to push Boy off. He fell to the side like a rag doll. Without hesitation, Takuma spun on his heel and readied himself into a pouncing crouch, baring fangs and all to their attacker –

But his menacing hiss didn't even manage to escape his lips as he took in the horrific scene and realised that he was – despite only mere seconds having passed – probably too late.

Boy lay flat on the floor with blood seeping steadily out of his neck, the E perched on top of him was only a small child, yet it feasted on the puddle seeping out of Boy's throat.

"No!" Takuma yelped – Boy's eyes rolled back with a pained whine – "_No_," he drew his katana – the E was distracted by his meal. Silent and fast, he swept his blade right through it, slicing the beast's body so it exploded into a small cloud of dust which stuck to the sticky patches of blood spattered on his skin. His actions had set his heart pounding a mile a minute with adrenaline, and as Takuma hastily re-sheathed his sword and squatted to observe the damage, he found himself gritting his teeth in worry.

Boy was still bleeding freely from his wounds, and now his eyes were shut.

"Hey," he shook his charge hesitantly at first, but then more roughly, and even more so – "_Hey_! Don't you dare-" _die on me_, he gulped. _Don't you leave me alone in this place… _butBoy only let out a weak groan, his eyelids fluttering open and shut before he set his unfocused gaze on Takuma's frantic face.

Takuma flashed him a weak grin upon spotting a flicker of recognition in his eyes, quickly going about ripping his sleeve to bind Boy's neck. "Are you alright?" he panted, hooking his arm under Boy's and around his waist to drag him to standing. He repeated himself louder and slower after only receiving an incoherent murmur.

Boy's head lolled, bobbing in what may have been a confirmative nod, and his next words were horribly slurred: "'m bleedin'…" and spoken with a rather pointed stare.

"I'm fine," Takuma replied with a stronger smile. The smell of blood so strong, and blood from a cut at such a _convenient_ position at Boy's neck _was_ in fact wearing at Takuma's resistance.

But he'd grown up with _Kaname_. A Pureblood. He'd grown up around the smells of all the cuts and bruises children naturally acquire in playtime in the form of a constant reminder that he was playing with the most delicious blood _in existence_. And from years of often being the one who helped in bandaging Kaname's scrapes (as Kaname did his as well), he'd built up a _remarkable_ resistance to the scent of pureblood, and by extension – most bloods.

So although Boy's concerns were touching, they were unneeded.

"How are _you_?" Takuma pressed, tilting his cargo into better light to see the thin bandages he'd wrapped were already bleeding through. He frowned – the wound was deep and bleeding profusely, and from the deadweight on his shoulder he could tell Boy was getting weaker and weaker. He could track the edges of the stain stretching out.

"…'m di-zzy," Boy mumbled, almost incoherently. He reached up his other free arm – almost batting Takuma's nose in the process – to reach for his bruised forehead, "…hit it hard…"

In spite of it all, Takuma laughed, at Boy's weak attempts to hit him in retaliation – feeble as a kitten. He laughed – grateful to have made a friend in this War to stand beside him – even if Boy was most likely mortally injured, his presence provided comfort and an opportunity to _protect_ someone… A hopeless kind of laughter – at the fact that, in the dark, they were so incredibly vulnerable, and Boy's blood was fresh bait leaking into the air, surely drawing all and any Es to them. A hysterical giggle, when he noted his fighting arm was supporting Boy – and his katana out of his reach – and were they to need either… well there wouldn't be time to defend themselves.

"C'mon," he whispered, nudging them forwards after calming himself down a little. That type of uncontrollable laughter was a symptom of _panic_. He couldn't afford to be panicked. Not now. Not when people – Boy, Nori, Kohaku, Kaname… – were depending on him.

Takuma lifted his head as they hobbled into the room, eyes flashing from red to green. His nostrils were instantly assaulted by a thick fog of bloody _blood_-saturated…something just..._blood_ –

"Ugh! What on-" _earth_? he wanted to shriek, yet it came out a squeak.

The room was dark, and it seemed as though the door must have been shut for some time, and the windows were fully shut and bolted – the thick blood smell was just so _concentrated_. It was truly making it difficult to concentrate on things properly. With the door opened, the vacuum sucked air past them in a great gust, also drawing the smells towards them. Takuma gritted his teeth. With Boy so close to him, on top of the smell of blood and the sound of his pulse racing in his ears, he could hear the beast in his heart lunging forwards, its voice growing louder –

Takuma felt Boy nudge him with his hip, and so his attention was then drawn to the sole occupant of the room again, finding them crumpled in a seat in the furthermost corner. The horrible overwhelming _sickly __**stench**_ was drifting from _them_. They were the source.

He instantly curled his arm tighter around Boy, ready to flee at a moment's notice.

And they both waited, watching the figure in the dark. It was clear that the figure wasn't asleep – they could both hear its breathing was raspy and laboured – it breathed through its mouth. What frightened Takuma into silence and stillness was the feeling that he could feel the person's eyes _on them_. They were being watched too.

Yet still – no one made any movement. Albeit, they didn't move _in fear_, but the figure didn't move at all – to attack them, or in any aggressive way at all.

Takuma let out a deliberate cough to break the delicate silence.

The figure whimpered.

Was it possible that _they_ were the ones frightening this person, even more than they themselves were frightened? Was that even _possible_? (Takuma didn't think so. He'd never been so scared in his whole life.)

When he saw the figure begin to curl up, he tensed again, but they remained still and only their heavy breathing told him they were still there, in the shadows. There was this… _suffocating_ aura surrounding this person, which made it difficult to be able to summon any courage, even when Takuma knew now that they were the stronger party in this… in this… whatever this was. This aura was so _nostalgic. _Takuma felt like he'd experienced it many times before – an aura which was powerful enough to ward him off, to almost say: _Get __**back**__. Don't you dare come near me. I'm warning you Ichiou –_

Takuma gasped. That aura brought back memories of when he was little, living with Kaname and his grandfather. When Kaname got fed up of his grandfather's nagging, he would shut himself in his room and disperse a thick aura like this about – its message clear to anyone passing, that he did _not_ want to be disturbed.

This aura was like that, only this person didn't want to be _harmed_.

Fear cloyed in his heart, but there was a rush of incredible urgency that washed over Takuma when he realised the implications of who this person likely could be, now that he recognised this aura – which could only be displayed by a _Pureblood_ –

"Hanadagi-sama?" he called softly, "K-Kohaku-sama?" he clarified, flinching as the aura lashed out at them.

Kohaku unfurled from his corner, rising from his haunches to stand slowly with all the grace and tension of a hunting lioness, suddenly intent on intimidating them out of his room. Takuma couldn't help but gasp as the Pureblood's face came into proper lighting.

His eyes were milky white.

"K-Koha-"

"No!" the boy snapped sharply, catching Takuma by surprise at how forceful his voice sounded, even though his body movements were jerky as he began to walk blindly – all his grace left him.

Boy whimpered softly, yet the noise drew Kohaku's attention, as if he had screamed for it.

Instinctively, Takuma twisted his body smoothly to move Boy behind him. He was barely conscious now and only let out a heavy sigh.

It was only in the quiet that Takuma heard the literal pin dropping – or in this case it was a lone droplet of blood leaking from the bandage and dropping on the floor with a small _plip!_ that made him aware Boy was bleeding through.

"Enough!" Kohaku demanded in that moment, shaking his scruffy head as he stumbled over to their direction. He dragged his sleeve over his mouth so roughly, and splatters of – what appeared to be even _more_ blood – hit the air. "_No more_!"

"Kohaku-sama-"

"Don't _patronise _me," Kohaku sneered, his youthful face twisting into an expression of blatant disgust and loathing, "_Master_," he spat, throwing his arm out as he dipped into a brief mocking bow, "I shall do no more! Take that away! Give me my beating, _punish me_ then – I don't care! That was the last one – I will do no more, I tell you. I will do_ no more_," his voice broke off with a gasping sob, and he dropped to his knees.

Takuma observed his superior crumple to the floor in grief with a feeling of increasing dread. Kohaku was only perhaps a year or two younger than himself – famed for his youthful beauty and mischief, but here he knelt prostrate on the floor, cowering in fear and agony. He thought Takuma was his Master – Rido, and that Boy was another Human to be Turned Level E. That Level E he'd killed who attacked Boy was "the last one" – the last Human Kohaku had Turned. Takuma only now understood why it stank so bad in the room – there was an underlying rank stench beneath all the blood – stomach acid. Kohaku must have vomited _so many times_ just to keep himself getting sick from drinking – or draining – all those Humans (like everything – too much blood intake is very bad for you). How _many_ Humans had he Turned?

Takuma felt very uncomfortable _pitying_ Kohaku, since it was disrespectful to _pity_ a Pureblood, but… in this instance, he _did_ pity him – what he had been through… it was atrocious.

"I am not Rido," he said softly, cautiously stepping towards Kohaku.

Mistake.

Big mistake.

The aura lashed out so fiercely that it actually managed to slash a cut down Takuma's cheek.

He yelped, one hand whipping up to catch the droplet of blood that dribbled down his face. In hindsight, Takuma realised that, perhaps, this situation could be twisted to his advantage.

Kohaku didn't believe he wasn't an enemy because he couldn't _see_ him. He also seemed to be too frightened to even consider reading Takuma's aura to "see" who he was.

But Purebloods can naturally _smell_ things better than any other.

He pulled his hand away and rather comically batted the air – wafting his blood scent across to circulate in the air towards Kohaku, hoping he would identify his _Noble_ blood meant he couldn't possibly be Rido…

After a few seconds of wafting, Kohaku's head jerked up and Takuma froze.

He was sniffing the air, milky eyes narrowed thoughtfully as he scanned the room.

Kohaku crawled over to them. Takuma held his breath. Especially as Kohaku crawled around him, having perceived where he must be, and as he circled him he brushed against Boy –

"This… is a _Human_," Kohaku murmured, patting Boy's leg, and then Takuma's knee (who outright flinched. He was glad he hadn't squeaked), "But who are _you_, Nobleman?" he asked a little louder. Takuma released his breath in a sigh of pure _relief_. He knew he wasn't out of hot water yet, but at least Kohaku's touch was gentle and his voice only inquiring. His anger seemed to have been put on hold in place of his curiosity.

Knowing Takuma was only a Noble and that he, as a Pureblood, was stronger, must have boosted Kohaku's confidence (and consequently dampened Takuma's).

Takuma forced his leg to relax.

"I am Ichijou Takuma, a friend and colleague, loyal to Kuran Kaname," he spoke quietly and calmly, hoping Kohaku knew who _he_ was at least. As far as he knew, Kaname's name was known to the Hanadagi family –

"Kuran?" Kohaku gasped, suddenly clutching at Takuma's kneecap. His fingers dug into the joint painfully, but unaware – "You know Kaname?"

Takuma nodded, then realised his silliness, "Yes," he confirmed, "I am a good friend of Kaname's,"

"Where is he? W-What's going on?" Kohaku broke down into sobbing again, and now, Takuma knew he was safe. He carefully lowered himself down to the floor, laying Boy beside himself and wrapping his arms around Kohaku in a comforting embrace, soothing the boy as best he could.

"Kaname is… isn't here – he's… he's working on dealing with R-Rido," he tried to simplify his answer, keeping it vague since he didn't exactly know where Kaname was himself. "But don't worry," Takuma quickly assured Kohaku, patting his shoulder, "We've come to save you,"

"You can't," Kohaku whined, tipping his head back. Takuma now faced the horrifyingly haunting sight of his milky eyes up-close. They stared directly at him, but he knew he couldn't see him at all. "I'm _his_. I cannot leave-"

"You can, I promise you – we can," Takuma babbled quickly, doubting his own words as he spoke them, "We've promised your father we'd rescue you-"

"My father? Where is he? Is he alright?" the boy immediately pounced on Takuma, his voice trembled with hope. As Takuma wheezed for breath, Kohaku's excitement waned, revealing his again-traumatised face, "I last s-saw him just… just before he did it. I was calling for him, but Master tore me away and then… and then he…" Kohaku sucked in a shuddering breath, raising his head to meet Takuma's gaze again. This time his gaze was off by a few centimetres, aimed at Takuma's ear rather than his eyes. It pretty much explained to Takuma what Rido did next without any words needing to be said. "I was told that I was to T-Turn these Humans. If I didn't he would… h-he would h-hurt otou-san!" he shuddered and squeezed his sightless eyes shut, "And then he would kill me, and take Natsuko-chan in my place. So I h-had to! You don't understand – I had to do it. You must understand-"

"I do understand," Takuma soothed, quieting the boy before he got too hysterical. He was in shock. He was probably killing himself inside with the guilt of what he had done. No wonder, "You were put in a terrible situation, forced to do terrible things. Your father and sister – they're both fine," he bit his lip at the white lies he was telling and tried to banish the memory of seeing Nori being overwhelmed by Es from his mind. And – he had no idea how Natsuko was.

"They are? Thank god – _thank god_…" he groaned, rocking back and forth slightly.

"Kohaku-san," Takuma began, clutching his shoulder, "I need to ask you some questions," his eyes darted around, "And then we need to get _out_ of here,"

A small smile touched Kohaku's lips briefly, but he was too tired to maintain it, so it withered –"I'll do my best to answer them,"

"The Es you've…you've made…are heading somewhere. Do you know where they're going? They were moving in one direction, so _organised_, like a… like they were _one_. They were moving outwards, I think,"

Kohaku chewed his lip thoughtfully, spitting out a glob of black spittle to the side – only just missing Takuma's foot, but he didn't mind. "I suppose… well, I have _heard_ things. Only from Rido speaking to himself though. He kept saying something like… 'Rosu… Guh-rosu? I'm not sure. He speaks so quietly, so I can't hear too well,"

It was from the second utterance that Takuma's eyes widened.

Guh-rosu – _Kurosu_. It sounded far too much alike to be coincidence. Nori said that same thing just before they left him.

"Kurosu," he breathed.

"Yes!" Kohaku nodded, "That's it. _Kurosu_,"

_Kurosu_. What could Rido want with Kurosu? He frowned. The Headmaster? He wants to target him? The Academy – "Do you have any idea what he wants with him?"

"Who? Kurosu is a person?"

"He is,"

Kohaku nodded, "Well, he keeps muttering it – uh, _his_ name. I assumed Kurosu was a place," he shrugged, "He keeps talking about him and, well… he keeps _counting,"_

"Counting?"

"The Es," Kohaku whispered. "He counts them a-after I've made them. He's waiting for a round number, he says. He's waiting till there's enough. Then he'll attack, he says,"

Attack Kurosu or the Academy?

"He's going to send them to Kurosu. An attack," Kohaku nodded again.

"An attack," Takuma echoed pensively. He felt Kohaku shudder against him, and quickly drew him up a little, tightening his hold to reassure the boy again. "Come," he muttered, "We should go now," Takuma released Kohaku slowly, sighing as he began trembling a second after separation. He turned to scoop up Boy and hoist him with one limp arm hanging over his shoulder, his own arm wrapped around his waist for support. Takuma tried to ignore how malleable Boy's body was – unconscious and weak.

He instructed Kohaku to squat too, and manoeuvred him so he was mirroring himself, supporting Boy's other side.

As they stood together, Boy draped between them, Kohaku spoke again.

"Who _is_ this Human? Why is he here?" he asked. It wasn't difficult to see how uncomfortable he was being so close to Boy, particularly with his blood dripping steadily down his throat.

Kohaku had only known Turning Humans since being Awoken, Takuma reminded himself. He was doing a remarkable job of showing restraint to Biting Boy, though he looked more disgusted by him than hungry. He looked like he had slung a corpse over his shoulder. The ill-timing of this simile was not lost on him, but it was the best Takuma could think of at the moment, from seeing Kohaku's expression.

"He's a soldier," Takuma explained, once again realising he still didn't know Boy's true name, "One of mine. He's badly injured, so we should move-"

"He's coming with us?"

Takuma frowned, grateful that he could not be seen. "…_yes_?" he said slowly, then quickly adding a , "Sir," to smooth his rather rude tone over.

"But he'll slow us down," Kohaku noted, seemingly forgetting he himself was blind. _Both_ he and Boy would slow _Takuma_ down, but anyway – "We should leave him behind,"

Takuma almost gaped at him. To leave Boy behind would be… no. There was no way he'd allow himself to leave Boy behind! He had potentially sacrificed his own _life_ for Takuma's, blocking the E off of him. He was his friend too.

Something in Kohaku's tone however told Takuma he wasn't being intentionally thoughtless. Kohaku spoke in an off-hand manner. It struck Takuma how he was – again – talking to someone from _ages past_. He'd read freaking _history books_ on Kohaku! He and his family existed at a time when it was common to ditch the wounded in hurried times, since medicines were pretty pitiful back then and therefore the wounded were often rendered doomed even days before they died. So, suggesting to abandon Boy wasn't said to be spiteful (he hoped. He supposed Kohaku may have a grudge against Humans now, after all), but in a blatantly off-hand manner. It was logical to Kohaku.

"No," Takuma said then, making to move them forwards. They began awkwardly staggering out of the room and down the corridor. To the left or to the right? He couldn't remember for the life of him – "This soldier… he's really quite…" he fumbled for words, glancing for a moment at his companions – one unconscious, one blind. Boy's head was hanging down, his chin knocking against his chest with each step. The gash on his neck was beginning to clot, he could smell it – "He's quite brave. And he's a friend. We won't leave him,"

There was a pause where he realised he had quite inadvertently ordered a Pureblood, but then Kohaku smiled and nodded, "Very well,"

Takuma smiled back, thinking Kohaku looked much better smiling. Much younger. Much more hopeful.

Hope _was __**exactly**_ what they needed at the moment. It was dark, he was lost, and they had to escape the castle somehow without running into the stream of Level Es. Hope was what they needed **very much**.

"Ichijou-san?"

"Hmm?" he barely faltered in taking the left corridor over the right. It was only gut feeling leading him at the moment, but that was all they had to go on anyway.

"When I… when I was Woken by _him_, I…" Kohaku was staring unseeingly to his left, towards Takuma, "…before he took my sight, I saw – well, I _think_ I saw – my sister,"

"Natsuko-san?"

"Mm," Kohaku shook his head. "It was at the family chamber-room. Her vault – Kasumi's vault was open. Do you think – ?"

"I don't know, Kohaku-san," Takuma said solemnly, though his mind twitched at the knowledge. Kasumi – Awakened? That little girl – the baby of the family… why her? Was Rido just sick enough to Wake a child, tying her to a life of enslavement to himself for the fun of it? "T-This is the first time I've ever been here,"

"It is?" Kohaku asked, his voice showing shock, "Really? You seem to know where you're going,"

"Ah-ha-ha, really?" Takuma laughed nervously, dragging them around another bend with all the confidence he could muster. "Do I? That's great!"

"You mean you don't-"

"Ah – look Kohaku-san!" he called, flinching when he realised the fault in his wording. "I – I mean… can you feel that? It's getting colder," he stammered. Kohaku nodded with a frown.

"It is," he agreed, "I can feel a breeze,"

Takuma squinted into the distance, spotting a tiny glimmer of light far, _far_ down the corridor. His heart leapt at the sight, and he almost dropped Boy as he literally leapt forwards, hauling them faster towards it.

"I see light!" he exclaimed, thoughts of any Level Es completely disappearing from his mind. It had been far too long since he last saw light (or _saw_ anything, it was so dark…) and the excitement spurred him on. It was lucky that there weren't any Es around them there, since they had already fled outwards, leaving the castle's core bare. "C'mon!" he groaned, hungry for _light_.

The gusts of cold air only encouraged him further. Though the air was heavy with blood (_everything_ was heavy with blood scents, so it was difficult to tell), they indicated a draft of air blowing, most likely from the outside. Hope. Hope was _here!_

* * *

><p>Crouching in the undergrowth, his eyes scanned the surroundings, particularly at the point where the forest thinned and finally cleared into the bowl-shaped depression flag-marking the Hanadagi-Kuran border. He could just remember the last time he'd been here – taking one step across the border and ending up captured in a torture cell with his cousin burning by his side.<p>

This was what made him hesitate – for only a brief second of reminiscing on the rather unpleasant memories – before he gave a small, nonchalant shrug and stepped over the border again.

This time there was no one there, even after he waited a full fifteen seconds – tense, ready for any attacks. He considered the fact that the enemy may be waiting for him to move and _then_ they would attack him, but who was he to know that? He could only hope there wasn't anyone there. Fifteen seconds was long enough, he thought, so he hurried on skidding down the slope to the plateau of the Hanadagi grounds.

Once the huge building loomed overhead, merging with the blackness of the surrounding night so it appeared ever more majestic and massive, Kain decided to do a little reconnaissance around the whole of the castle. It was more like an overgrown fort anyway – so it was small enough he could do this quickly.

Now, Kain didn't regard himself as _anything _of a pyromaniac, _however…_ he couldn't help but admire his handiwork from the last time he'd been here. The blackened portions of charred building smoky and, in his mind, _fragrant_ with the spice of fire. The haunting blackened windows smeared with soot. He remembered clearly the moment where Kaname had basically told him to "do his thing", so he did, and the results were a _flaming __**inferno.**_ So much **fun**. In what other opportunity would he ever get to flame something up like that? It had been spectacular, and he would have enjoyed it all the more had they not been fleeing for their lives.

He was tracing the remnants of a particularly artistic char mark when his nose picked up something – something unexpected. Something vaguely _terrifying_ if what he was smelling really _was_ –

Yes it was – it was blood. A sweet, sweet blood scent that trickled out of the cracks of the burnt castle. Through the windows of – the windows – above him. Just one floor above him – Kain could almost see the trail scents of this person's blood. It was fresh blood being spilt. Copious amounts of it, so much so that it grew stronger.

Something about its sweetness was **remarkable**. It made Kain's nose tingle pleasantly and his gums throb in anticipation.

He patted the wall, feeling thick flagstones which provided grooves where he could jam his fingers and toes into to climb. Kain did so, scrabbling with each alternating hand and foot to pull himself further up the wall. The overpowering blood was increasingly distracting, but he also found it suitably provided a marker to lead him to whoever was _bleeding_ so much. In the darkness, it literally called to him, and soon enough he found his fingers latching onto a much larger surface – a sill.

The extra space let him spread his hands flat and haul himself up onto the windowsill.

What he saw next almost made him tumble all the way back down.

Through a tiny pane of clean glass, he saw –

Aidou – unmistakeably – on his belly on the ground, his back slashed open to show the deep red mesh of muscle and blood – the **blood** – Rido beside him, writhing and yelling something muffled –

But his eyes flew back to Aidou. He just couldn't believe his eyes. Aidou who wasn't moving. His body was sprawled and encircled in a frighteningly large dark puddle, looking like he'd been dropped from a great height and landed face-first, and all his innards had either drained out or been ripped from the gaping cavity in his back.

Was he… was he de-

"**No! NO!**"

A growl so deep and loud tore out his throat, resonating through his body so it shook violently. He literally saw red as flames erupted from his hands, scorching the windowsill and melting the glass panes till they dripped off the leading like water. Kain burst through the gap, launching himself into the room with a deafening roar.

The ground was frozen, a pinkish colour. The webs of thicker ice trailed up to Aidou's fingertips. His head was facing away –

Rido's body straightened and stilled. Kain could see that his nails were still sunk in his skin and his own Pure blood poured in rivulets down his face (though he couldn't say he noticed that blood over the honey-sweet blood vapour pouring out of his cousin's back). He was clawing himself, though the wounds only healed over. There was one slash however that remained, just below his eye socket on his right cheekbone. It was deep and an angry red colour.

To Kain's utter shock, Rido actually looked _intimidated_ by him. Or was it just that he himself was shocked by his sudden entrance? The Pureblood had stopped clawing his face. There had been madness in his eyes, but when he continued to stare at Kain, it cleared and in its wake (to Kain's dismay) Rido appeared to regain his senses. Rido drew his harming hands away from his face and turned fully to face Kain.

"Y-You…you…" was all he managed to mutter, eyes wide and yet calculating. Kain warily watched Rido's eyes dart left to the open window, to his flaming hands, to Aidou, to the window –

Could he let Rido get away? It was obvious now that, for whatever reason, Rido didn't seem to be in the correct state to attack Kain – thank _god_. But Rido was a serious threat, and didn't Kaname tell them that, were they given the opportunity, they should endeavour to kill him? Sure, he didn't have the Weapon, but letting Rido go scot-free was an awful shame and he couldn't help but see doing that as being a coward –

Yet, Kain's own gaze flitted back to Aidou.

It wasn't a matter of fighting Rido right now. It was a matter of getting Aidou to safety. Giving him blood. He had lost so much…

Rido licked his red lips. The anger in Kain's gut boiled, and his flames grew.

It was then that Kain glanced down, hearing a sizzle.

His feet. There were puddles of red around them. He shifted slightly, watching the ice melt.

The plan hit him – the same time that Rido and his gazes met, the panicked-furious-anxious expression on Rido's face lighting.

In that moment Kain dived on top of Aidou, covering every part of him he could. He no longer could see Rido, but that didn't matter – as he sent out _all his rage_ in dancing flames and searing heat. Immediately, as the ice and fire met, the whole room erupted in hot, red steam like a geyser. Kain could just about hear Rido's pained howl over the roar of the steam, and otherwise he was blind to all else, with his eyes fast shut. The plumes of evaporated blood – new and old – created a sauna of disturbingly delicious scents – but the most delicious of all was right below him.

Squashed between the floor and his own body was Aidou, still unmoving and unresponsive. Kain sheltered his open back from the scalding gusts of steam. Though it was melting his own skin, he couldn't feel the pain. With sobs of rage wracking his body and fire still shooting from his hands – he could not _touch_ Aidou, so he buried his face in the back of Aidou's head – wishing he'd been faster. Hoping he wasn't too late.

* * *

><p>"Shit, shit, shit!"<p>

Ichiru skidded into the room, crashing into the door jamb before scrambling over to the sofa. Rima was frantically fanning her best friend with both hands. Shiki was stripped to his trousers, but this was no time for things like shyness or dignity. He was lobster-red, and his pants were raspy, his throat sandpaper-dry and rough –

"Did you get the-"

"Here!" he exclaimed, bringing the pail of ice near to them. Immediately Ruka and Rima dug their hands into it, hissing at the biting cold and quickly pressing the blocks onto Shiki's skin. He yelped, whimpering away from them and squirming and writhing like he was on fire (which he probably _was_). Yuuki winced as his hand caught her on the edge of her nose, but she determinedly poured another glass of water and beckoned Ichiru to help her raise Shiki's head and neck. The other two had to hold Shiki steady, and Ichiru flinched as he coughed up the water they were desperately trying to feed him.

"Why won't he drink?" he snarled, reverting to anger in his panic. Yuuki's wide eyes and shaking head were all he was answered. Ruka hissed at a kick to her ample chest, her eyes flashing in both fury and amusement.

"He thinks he's drowning," Rima answered softly, gesturing to Yuuki to stop.

"Is he getting better?" Ichiru asked urgently, eyeing the girls as they, as a team, tugged the elastic of Shiki's trousers up and shoved handfuls of ice down the pant-legs in a matter of seconds. He felt for the boy and flinched in sympathy as he let out an ear-splitting shriek at the cold (directed to a very delicate place). Ichiru deemed the girls sadists as he saw the glints of satisfaction in their eyes and their quivering lips holding back giggles, no doubt.

"He's steady," Ruka said with a shrug, "But he's not getting any worse, so-"

Suddenly the wheezing stopped. The thrashing and groaning stopped too.

The room fell into a stony silence, where all eyes were on the motionless Shiki.

"Oh my god," Ichiru gasped, "Is he dead?"

Rima winced at his insensitivity, and at the fact that tears had already begun to flood her eyes. She felt for his pulse and let out a sigh of relief.

"He's alive," she breathed. Her fingers prodded his neck, and then she held a finger in front of his nose, "I… I don't understand. His body has just… calmed down?"

Sure enough, they saw the rise and fall of his chest cavity was perfectly normally paced and deep, as though he was in a sleep. His red skin was still hot to the touch, but strangely, it didn't feel like it was buzzing with rushing blood anymore. It was cooling. He was cooling.

"This is really weird," Ruka commented, and they all had to agree. It _was really _weird that Shiki's body suddenly righted itself in literally **a second**. How on earth…?

"He's done it," Yuuki said suddenly, catching all their attention. She pumped a fist in the air, whooping joyfully, "He's done it!" her eyes widened meaningfully at their confused faces, and then she rolled her eyes, pointing directly at Shiki – "Rido's _out_!"

* * *

><p>"Whoa,"<p>

"Oh god, that doesn't smell good!"

Takuma had drawn to a halt as a huge gust of… of _steam_? Steam just hit them, wetting their faces in a disgusting sheen of something _sticky_. It stung his eyes and made him gag a little. He carefully turned them around, "_Well_, we're certainly not going down _there _then!" he chirped, dragging them down back the way they came.

"Th-The ballroom…"

"Eh?" he turned to see Kohaku stumbling a little. His cloudy eyes somehow managed to look sharp, in thought.

"To have wind like that coming into the castle, you would have to have access to windows,"

Takuma didn't realise that Kohaku probably didn't know the state of his home was more in tatters than he remembered. The wind could have come through all sorts of cracks or holes in the walls.

"Only the ballroom and throne room have windows so large, and in the same wing as the family chambers," he informed Takuma. The information wasn't that helpful, seeing as Takuma really didn't know where they were still, but he got what Kohaku was trying to say. If they were near either the throne room or ballroom, they could leave the castle through one of those rooms, seeing as it was much easier to smash through glass than stone wall.

"Let's just – lets go to the right this ti-"

"Hey, stop!" Kohaku suddenly cried, tugging them back. His eyes widened. "_Stop_,"

"What? Kohaku-san?" Takuma asked concernedly, especially as Kohaku slipped out from under Boy's arm, and Takuma was left tipping to the side to hold him up. "Hey! Kohaku-san!" he called irritably, shuffling Boy over his shoulders. He followed the blind boy down the corridor. It was rather odd, following a _blind_ boy, but Takuma could hear Kohaku sniffing deeply. He was following a scent trail.

"It's… it's _her_!" he gasped.

"Who?" Takuma groaned, eyeing the right turn he'd been hoping to go down. "Kohaku-san," he called desperately, "Please. We really need to leave now-"

"It's my _sister_, Ichijou-san," Kohaku insisted. That was all he needed to say. Takuma was by his side in a second, and they were off.

Kohaku confidently followed the trail, leading them off to the left, through a narrow passage… and it took surprisingly little time to reach the end, where they faced a door.

Again, they were faced with an overpowering blood-laden room, but this time, Kohaku approached it with such indifference that it gave Takuma chills. He couldn't smell past the thousands of mixes of blood – his senses were completely overloaded. But apparently the Pureblood nose could pick out or decipher the scent it wanted, as accurate as a trained bloodhound.

"In here," Kohaku gestured, opening the door.

As soon as he was past the door, Takuma knew what they were about to see would be, to say the least, gruesome. He found it difficult to concentrate on anything in particular, just like before, in the room where he'd found Kohaku. The room was red. Everything was red. And there in the centre of the room was a patch of red carpet that shimmered.

Taking no heed of Takuma's half-whimper of caution, Kohaku sniffed his way _right towards it,_ Takuma reluctantly at his heels.

"Mimi?" Kohaku called, a small yet eager smile playing at his lips (Takuma noticed, however, that Kohaku's smile did not look made to last. Already his lips were twitching downwards, already he could tell – ) "Come out, it's just me and some friends. Mimi…?" he tensed, his footstep made a loud _crunch_ sound. And as Takuma approached him and _it_ came into view, he gagged nauseously, twisting away so fast that he staggered with Boy's momentum.

Crystals. There were pink crystals piled in a small mound on the floor, curved in a shape the size of a small…child…

Takuma could only watch as Kohaku lifted his foot slowly, and then just as carefully lowered himself to kneel on the ground. He was still sniffing audibly, and his intense milky eyes were poised on something far off in the distance, even as his shaking hands reached to feel around his knees. Just when he was about to reach the crystals, Takuma let out a small yelp, but Kohaku's hand brushed against it nonetheless –

And he let out a broken sob.

His long fingers splayed over the crystals, and his whole body began to shake everything as the sobs overtook him. "Kasumi? Kasumi-chan?" he wept over and over, raking his fingers through the remains of his baby sister. Takuma remained silent, unable to grasp the sight of the child's Pureblood corpse – so unearthly beautiful it was, to die in a shimmer of crystals resembling little stars…

But Kasumi's crystals were all dyed pink.

From what Takuma knew, that meant she had suffered _far_ longer than average. Her own blood had dyed her crystals pink, meaning she had laid there for a long time and most likely bled out slowly, and death only came after, dissolving her body into perfectly tiny crystal shards.

Such a little child. So young. It broke his heart to think on it, so he could barely comprehend how Kohaku was feeling. Being blind to see her, he'd had to _touch_ what remained to understand –

"It wasn't meant to be like this," Kohaku sobbed breathlessly, fumbling for Takuma's hand and grasping his shin, "We were meant to Wake _together_. All of us _together_. Butler was meant to Wake us after one hundred years…"

"I'm so sorry," Takuma whispered, bowing his head, "I'm so sorry,"

They stayed in silence for a few minutes, simply mourning the loss of a wonderful little girl. Kohaku choked on tears and fell quiet after a while, only trembling with his staggered breaths.

It was when the echo of a bloodcurdling yell hit their ears that Takuma and Kohaku both tensed, remembering their current danger. With a hand pulling him up, Kohaku then took Boy's other side again, but before they even moved, he caught Takuma's sleeve.

"That was Rido," he jerked his head to indicate the previous noise, "He's lost it. This boy he keeps talking about – he's lost his connection,"

_Boy?_ **Shiki**? Takuma's heart thumped, "What do you mean by that? How do you know?"

He pointed to his temple, "I have a different connection to him, but I can tell that he's not pleased – furious, actually. He's been having trouble with that one,"

"Do you mean that… he no longer has a connection with _that boy_?"

Kohaku nodded, "And he was spending a lot of energy and time on him too. He kept on saying how 'the boy will soon be trained'," Kohaku seemed to know he needed to expand on what he'd said, "When a Pureblood engages in Bonding, Binding or Waking other Vampires, they have control over them. Bonding is with the life, blood, soul - everything. Binding is with the mind. Waking is with free will. Rido has done far too many of these things. He's losing control _of himself_. Even for the strongest of Purebloods, it can be difficult to manage so many minds, so many different people… Through the Humans I've Turned alone, his command reaches to thousands by extension.

"This boy keeps fighting back. Rido is always muttering about how difficult he is, but how eventually he'll learn to 'share'. He takes strength from the boy. In a way, he's grown to need him quite a lot. But recently his control has really slackened, since there are so many Es being made. I think he left himself unguarded, so when the boy fought back, he got through and managed to break the connection,"

Takuma couldn't help but smile. Shiki was fighting. Of _course_ he was fighting – he must have been fighting for a long time, probably ever since he was caged. The persistence, the dogged determination of his dear friend was just _stunning_. To think he'd somehow managed to cut himself off from Rido!

"He's going to be madder than ever, and by that I mean _crazy_," Kohaku sighed. "_Dangerous_,"

"Come on, then. Let's go," he replied, "We should go see what's what," he said. It was part-foolish, part-logic that generated the decision to seek out the place they'd heard Rido. Of course, they were heading towards the danger, but was it better to wait for danger to come to them unsuspecting or to seek it in their own time? Takuma wrapped a handful of crystals in a cloth bag and tucked them into Kohaku's robe belt, and then he drew them away from the room that smelt of death.


	83. With Heaven Screaming In My Ear

**Author's Note:**

**ive been busy busy busy! sorry for the delay.**

**this chapter is a bit dribbly, bit of a word-vomit IMO, but i hope you enjoy it still! the plot is progressing slowly for a reason known as "KZ-development". (i.e. Kaname and Zero need time to fall in lurrrrve XD )**

**but i _am_ trying to move it along. if it's dragging beyond what you can tolerate, feel free to tell me. i will work harder then!**

**BTW, im making Kaito a nuisance in here. just for the LOLZ. and because i lub him. XD**

**busy busy busy! **

**got to go now, love you all! **

**puui x**

* * *

><p><strong>"Fear can't hurt you any more than a dream."<strong>

**WILLIAM GOLDING, _Lord of the Flies_**

* * *

><p>"…well…the only difficulty is in getting to the Academy. You see, the plan was that if I was taking only <em>one<em> of you," he looked pointedly at a certain white-haired shifty Hunter, "It would have been relatively easy for me to run us there. The Academy isn't actually too far away, contrary to what you might think," Kaname mused, pacing the width of the kitchen with his pensive finger curved under his chin.

Zero choked on his drink, snorting messily in disbelief as Kaname startled at this interruption, "_Run?_" he hissed, "_**Run**__? _I seriously hope you aren't talking about zooming away at that _ridiculous_ speed you go at," at Kaname's confused nod, Zero quirked his brow, "Are you _kidding_ me? I suppose you would carry me there on your back like a bloody sack of cargo, like before?"

Again, Kaname nodded, yet there was a twinkle of mirth in his eyes, "I would be carrying _Kaito-san_ to the Academy, yes," he agreed, smirking at Zero's flustered face, "It would be Kaito-san I would take with me, over you," the twinkle in his eyes faded and his smile tightened, "Because I would want to leave you here. _Here_. Where it's _safe_,"

With a roll of his eyes, Zero downed the rest of his juice and slammed the cup on the counter. "Fat chance," he snapped loudly, shooting Kaname a sharp glare.

"Yada, yada," Kaito groaned, flapping his hand in irritation, "Get _on_ with it, Kuran. You said you'd finish your little intro-plan thing-ma-jig by the time it took him to finish that," he said, shaking Zero's cup.

Kaname nodded, "Yes, well, since there are three of us travelling now, we'll have to take the plane,"

Both Hunters' heads whipped up to Kaname, and time seemed to freeze with them also petrified, wide eyes boring into the Pureblood like laser beams.

"Plane?" Zero managed to croak.

Kaito cleared his throat awkwardly, "You said the Academy _wasn't_ far away,"

Kaname smiled uneasily, "Yes, but it would cut travel time even further if we fly there. The plane is waiting for us, it's been getting ready and by now, I'm sure, it's ready to go," he said enthusiastically. His bright and breezy tone did little to rouse the Hunters from their apparently horrified stupors. It was when their faces began to turn sickly pale, rapidly draining of all colour, that Kaname became rather concerned.

Kaito cleared his throat again, this time with a grimace, "Can't we… can't we take a really fast car, or something… _land-based_…"

Shaking his head carefully, Kaname prodded Zero's arm gently to make sure he was at least responsive. He let out a small grunt. "No. The land around here is covered with many forests, and the roads aren't good for fast travel," the Pureblood spoke, turning to speak to the more-coherent of the two, "Is there a problem with using the plane, or should I assume all Hunters have an instinctive aversion to flying?"

"We aren't born with wings for a reason," Zero suddenly growled. Kaname's sharp eyes picked out the fact that Zero's fingers were curled rather tightly around the counter. He was trembling.

Kaname couldn't hold back a small (sadistic) chuckle, which had the colour returning to Zero's face in mild anger, as he huffed. "Neither do Humans, yet they created flight-machines,"

"Well, _sucks to be them!"_ Kaito yelled, scrunching his face up at the thought of _flying_. "It's unnatural and fucking _stupid_!"

"It'll have to do," he shrugged, "Flying will only take twenty minutes at most. Running there will take you at least a day with the rough terrain. You could ride horseback, but that would still take you half a day at least…" a buzzing noise sounded, and Kaname dipped his hand into his pocket, withdrawing his phone. He checked it and hummed approvingly as he slipped it away again, "Ah. Captain says were ready to go. Are you ready?" he checked on Kaito's status, finding him only slightly recovered from his pallid skin colour, but his eyes were focused with the determination not to give into weakness, and he gave Kaname a curt nod. Zero's reddened face was cooled back to normal, and with a quiet reluctant growl he nodded too, though with cutting dirty look. "Let's go then," he began to usher them out of the kitchen.

Kaito rather dramatically rolled his neck and arms, popping joints as he tried to calm himself for the dreaded flight. He practically left a cloud of dust behind him in his haste to get into the plane as fast as possible, before he had time to gain any second thoughts, even though he had no idea which way to go. Zero was definitely slower-paced, but _just_ as confident. It was the two bowls of soup and rice weighing him down, he told himself. His weak body was slowing him, and he _swore_ it had nothing to do with the plane. Or the flight. Or flying in general. (He was trying to forget the horrible memories of the take-off and landing, where his internal organs were forced to rearrange themselves and the bones in his legs were totally liquefied).

Kaname carefully kept behind Zero, herding him with his presence. As Zero's pace slowed, he found himself watching the back of Zero's head with growing concern. The unevenness of his gait and his trembling muscles betrayed his still-weakened physique was far from the road to recovery. On top of this, like an animal, he could smell Zero's fear cloaking him, swamping him with trepidation…

Zero jumped at the light contact to his shoulder. A small squeeze by a warm hand. Then that hand fell to meet his for the briefest of moments, curving so they fit. He felt something pressed to his palm. Only a second later, he barely felt Kaname's body heat brush past his right side, leaving his skin tingling. The King strode majestically onwards, urging Zero to follow by the confidence in his gait.

As he followed, Zero peeked at what was nestled in his palm and couldn't help but smile, closing his hand around the wrapped piece of _Summer Fruits._

* * *

><p>"No. Fucking. Way, Kuran," Kaito roared over the din of the whirring engine, the frigid gust of wind sweeping into the tight space of the container they were standing in. "You already got my ass up in the air! You aren't getting us down like <em>this<em>, man! Fuck!" The three of them were currently desperately clinging to various handles hanging from the ceiling of the craft, and each time a turbulent torrent of air caused the plane to lurch sideways they got thrown to the opposite side, violently ricocheting off the plane wall.

Zero yelped as his neck cracked on the side of a bar and his vision flickered into greyed, blurry unconsciousness as heat bloomed from the knock – another bruise. He gagged on his sweet and finally spit it out as it insisted on choking him. There was an abrupt change as he felt his legs steady and his feet glue to the plane floor, and with a quick sweeping glance at his unwilling tormenter, he understood it was Kaname's rather late doing that was now holding him and Kaito securely in the craft. _Fucking too late_, he thought rather darkly, but from Kaname's guilty/apologetic smile and the remnants of the taste of sweet stuck to his teeth, he strangely felt his anger diffuse.

They had left the Castle from a concealed underground hangar which pulled out and open like a crazy piece of film-set off the Thunderbirds (in Zero's opinion). And when they were faced with Kaname's pilot stood beside a swanky, gleaming body of ultra-new, ultra-sci-fi plane – even the Hunters had to admire the sleek design and beauty of the craft. The interior was a stark contrast to the beauty of its exterior – plain and bare with a row of seats on either side of the cramped, narrow cavity; handles hanging in a row down the ceiling from chains. After sitting next to rumbling, deafening engines and feeling the air thin and cool to freezing temperatures, the pretty plane had completely lost its charm and the Hunters had resorted to sitting as still as possible with their eyes stubbornly shut, clutching the straps of their harnesses.

Blind and mostly deaf to his surroundings, Zero only recalled hearing muffled sounds of Kaname conversing with his staff and the constant flow of profanity from Kaito's lips. He opened one eye to see Kaname unbuckled from his seat, ordering his staff to open the hatch door. The cold rush of air swirled into the space like a vortex, throwing both Hunters back in their seats and stealing the breath from them. With wide eyes he watched Kaname speak with his staff, only managing to hear the hard cutting consonants and rise and fall of his urgent tone.

And now, _now_ it shook them to their already shaken cores when Kaname calmly announced they were departing the aircraft _now_, when they were still roughly three-thousand feet in the air. They were swiftly unbuckled from their seats and lead (read: dragged) to the back of the plane where the hatch they'd entered the craft through (which in hindsight, Zero realised, was far too wide a door to be a _normal_ door. He should have _suspected_ – ) and lined up with Kaname and his staff on either side of the open hatch, then Kaito and finally Zero at the back.

"It's quite simple, Kaito-san," Kaname said, somehow managing to speak calmly and be heard over the racket. He pointed to the hatch, "We jump," he said bluntly.

Kaito gaped, immediately gagging on the gust of cold air that hit the back of his throat. "Air-diving? You want me to fucking air-dive? Are you mad? You've already got us on this shitty little plane - what more can you ask for, you prig?"

They were circling a small clearing in the forest sheltering the Academy grounds which Zero could barely make out in the darkness of night, but apparently Kaname could see it quite clearly, and that was all that mattered. This was the closest landing (or drop-zone) to the Academy building, and Kaname told them he regularly used it returning from his business trips. Zero tried to imagine Kaname launching out of a plane in his business suit and suitcase in hand. It somehow made an amusing image in his mind, and he let out a bark of startled laughter at the thought.

Kaname shot him a glimpse of a radiant smile – dazzling and intense, his eyes shone – "We'll go in pairs. Airi-san with Kaito-san," he grinned at Zero, "You with me,"

Zero let out another breathy chuckle, realising he was starting to sound more hysterical than happy now. He could absently feel his pulse beating heavily on the hanging handle he was clutching so tightly. With a sharp nod of agreement, he forced his eyes to lock onto only Kaname, not out the hatch. Not at the inky blackness below. Not at the oblivion he was about to throw himself into –

"No! Fuck off! I'm _not_ doing this-"

He blinked, breaking off from his thoughts to observe his fellow Hunter being wrestled into a harness by several of Kaname's staff, bucking wildly to shake them off, though they didn't managed to dodge his blows skilfully. Kaito was making a right racket, kicking and yelling, yet he kept his grip tight on the handles and refused to let go. Zero watched as a female staff-member (Airi-san, he supposed) stepped into the harness joint to him from the back and secured them together. It was absolutely comical, the sight of them. Airi was incredibly petite and stood a good head-and-some shorter than Kaito, and since he was stubbornly hanging from the handles, she was also hanging in the air on his back (her feet didn't brush his calves, let alone the ground), like a koala-bear. Despite the amusing sight, Airi's demeanour was incredibly focused and serious, and her eyes were locked on her boss, ready and waiting.

"Ready, Zero?"

Zero turned again to see, this time, Kaname already strapped to a harness, holding out the adjoining front harness for him to step into. He glanced up at the handles he was gripping like a lifeline, and back at Kaname, and once more at the handles, and –

_Forcibly_ unclenched his hands, lowering his trembling arms slowly. He expected to sway on his feet, or fall over from the sudden turbulence that shook the plane, but it seemed that he was held upright and standing by unseen forces. After sucking in a deep breath, Zero rapidly staggered towards Kaname, finding it was like walking through molasses from the forces binding him with their own gravity. He locked his eyes onto Kaname's, which were staring him too, his arms held out, reaching for him. Zero gasped, a Memory grasping him just as Kaname mouthed something to him that looked like the word, "_Come_," –

"_Come, Isa-chan," _

_Wine-red eyes gleaming like garnet gems, sparkling with affection. Arms extended to catch the small body of his dear friend as it propelled into the space between them. _

_Barrelling into the warm arms and winding himself around the Vampire, arms around his neck, legs around his waist. Being lifted up into the air, far beyond where he could ever reach (even on tip-toes) and being spun around again and again. It felt like __**flying**__, only without the fear of falling._

_- _it was like Kaname was holding him with only his gaze, and Zero found himself feeling supported by the confidence of Kaname's expression and, surprisingly calm, all of a sudden like the vision from Isamu's past, he staggered in the space between them, clumsy like an infant taking his first shaky steps, and he was caught by a pair of warm arms. They supported him around the waist as he clamped his arms over Kaname's shoulders. A jolt in the plane's balance threw them even closer. He soon found that they were so close that they were breathing the same air.

He shuddered from the onslaught of foreign but tender emotions coursing through him from the Memory, compared to the press of Kaname's warmth against him which was infinitely soothing, yet somehow paled by the Memory... He turned and allowed Kaname to help him step backwards into the harness and buckle him in place. _It felt like flying, only without the fear…_ An arm came around his waist to hold him ever more steadily, coiling and tightening – w_ithout the fear._ He felt the fear begin to ebb away, receding inside of him, till it was stamped out like a flame by his mounting excitement. _Flying_. Would it feel like flying? He wondered –

Kaito gave a defeated groan – the staff had managed to loosen his fingers, and now he was being singularly frog-marched by Airi-san to the open hatch, beside Kaname and Zero. He pushed back against the petite woman, though she still managed to shove him to the very edge of the plane, causing him to squawk and wriggle to face them, his face pinched in fury, "This is _fucking __**crazy**_!" he bellowed, gesturing madly at something (probably his rage) like he was swatting away a bug, "There's _no parachute_!"

"We don't need a parachute, Kaito-san," Kaname replied matter-of-factly. Zero could practically smell the amusement dripping from every word. He was _enjoying _this. Sadistic bastard. "I will be controlling our landing,"

"What?" Kaito shrieked, specifically when Airi looped her arms around him.

"_What?_" Zero echoed weakly, craning his neck to the side to show Kaname how terrified he was. The pureblood just nodded, his twinkling eyes creasing at the corners from his huge grin. He didn't like Kaname's grin anymore. It was deceiving – laced with a high dose of sadistic pleasure and pure _evil_ to be finding the situation _funny_.

"I will control our landing," Kaname repeated with a shrug, casually wrapping his other arm around Zero. Kaname reached up to his face and then pulled a pair of goggles over his nose. The band was too tight and he felt the suction of the goggles press into his face, an uncomfortable pressure on the bridge of his nose which made it itch. It suddenly hit Zero that they were about to jump out of a plane, thousands of feet above the ground, and the only protection they had were – a harness to tie the pairs together and _goggles_.

"Forgive me if I projectile vomit all over you when we hit the ground," he drawled sarcastically, barely noticing a glimmer of content that rose inside of him when a smidgen of Kaname's lip quirks upwards, implying shared laughter, "Or worse: _in the air_,"

A virulent shiver shot down his spine as Kaname leant in to whisper in his ear, "Trust me, you'll be _fine,"_ in a low, mischievous whisper that amazingly curbed his escalating fear before it got a good hold on him. "You may even enjoy it," Kaname murmured, allowing Zero to nod minutely. Kaname then nodded at Airi, "Okay then. In three, two-"

"_What the-!_" he distantly heard Kaito squeak – he got a brief glimpse of his colleague's disbelieving face, wide-eyed at him – but there wasn't even time for him to make his own noises of despair –

"**One!**" Kaname bellowed.

"-wait, _Kaname_!" Zero heard himself squawk at the same time Airi chirped, "Hai, Kuran-sama!" and Kaito screamed, "_Nooo!"_ and then –

- they were out of the plane, into the night sky. Zero had never experienced such weightlessness, or missed the security of ground beneath his feet this much. This wasn't flying. They were dropping like a rock. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't see –

And there wasn't the sense of control and safety, which meant that Kaname wasn't in control of their movements either. They were just _falling_ and Kaname wasn't stopping it. Why wasn't he stopping it? Why wasn't he – ?

Zero began pedalling backwards instinctively, flapping and bucking backwards – and with Kaname's weight at his back they toppled backwards in the air –

"Stop it, Zero!" he heard Kaname yell, but panic had overtaken his body and he was blind to reason. They were now facing upwards, looking up at the belly of the plane above them. He vaguely heard Kaito's voice screaming somewhere to the right of them, but he was mainly distracted by the thought that they were most likely plummeting to their deaths, and Kaname still wasn't stopping it. "Hold _still!"_

He forced his flailing limbs to slacken, resisting the urge to continue flapping madly against the drag of the wind. The gales of wind threw his arms and legs upwards. He felt Kaname's own limbs grabbing his by the wrists and hooking over his ankles, dragging them downwards, "Level your body!" he heard Kaname yell in his ear, "Spread out!"

It was difficult to fight the strength of the wind-drag to spread himself out. All of a sudden, Zero remembered that sky-divers usually positioned themselves belly-down to the earth. He loudly cursed his stupidity. They dropped past the shadow of the plane, and suddenly Zero was struck –

by the beauty of one second of absolute _beauty_.

He was suspended in the sky, the sense of weightlessness was suddenly _freeing_ and he had the most perfect view of the stars and constellations in the inky black sky. He forgot their impending doom or the fact that his skin was now blisteringly cold, or that he couldn't feel his face. In all of this, he was backed by warmth and tickled by locks of sorrel hair. He had only a fleeting moment to absorb the thrilling and heady sensation of being close enough to touch the stars.

And then he was ripped away from it as the other two hurtling past them and he could hear Kaito still screaming profanities at the top of his lungs – Airi yelling at him to behave. At the same time, Kaname rolled them over so now they were facing the ground. Previous awe vanished at the sight of the rapidly approaching ground. Too fast. _Too fast_ – Zero bit back a horrified scream. His meal was threatening to make its reappearance.

"Steady," Kaname's breathy voice wheezed. His arms coiled around Zero's waist again, but this time there was an additional force of his '_invisible hands'_ which grasped Zero's whole body – and then, quite suddenly, their descent slowed. He heard Kaito's startled holler at the lurching stop further off to the left to them.

The _invisible hands_ rotated them so they were upright once more, and though he couldn't see the ground, he could sense that it was very near now. Indeed it only took minutes for their slowed descent to finally deposit them softly onto the solid ground.

As soon as his feet touched the ground, Zero ripped off the goggles and cast them aside, uncaring as to where they fell. The _hands_ disappeared just as abruptly as they had appeared, too fast for Zero to catch himself, and they tumbled forwards, the harnesses meant, soon enough, he was planted face-down on the grass with Kaname sprawled atop him. The painful collision was ignored in favour of the fact that he could feel Kaname's breath down the back of his collar, and the weight of his body winded him. The Pureblood muttered apologies, dragging them back to standing and unclasping the harnesses.

As he did so, Zero let out another peal of hysterical laughter and even snorted mid-way as a previous thought hit him. "Be glad I have excellent control over my stomach... _and_ my bladder," he chortled, matching Kaname's bright, yet highly concerned grin tooth to tooth.

They separated, panting raggedly and peering around for their companions (well, Kaname was looking – Zero couldn't see a thing). Zero didn't even realise he was being held by his wrist for quite a while, until Kaname tugged him along.

"Quick," he urged, hastening their pace, "We must find them. They landed near-"

He was cut off by an outraged howl that was all-too-familiar. Moments later Kaito tore out of the bush, spitting in fury with a wild, crazed look in his eyes. It was only when they heard another marginally quieter, higher-pitched voice also cursing loudly that they realised Airi was right behind Kaito. It appeared that he hadn't even waited to be un-harnessed before taking off, and she was still strapped to his back like a rucksack – albeit a red-faced, livid rucksack.

Kaito stormed towards them, looking intent to kill, and likewise his choice of words:

"I will fucking _**kill**_ you, I swear-!" directed at Kaname were not spoken lightly. He shook his finger at Kaname like he was brandishing a sword. Zero rolled his eyes, shaking off Kaname's hand and walking behind Kaito (skilfully dodging his "mad fists") to release Airi from her strange binds. She scrambled out of the straps and shot Kaito a poisonous glare.

_Looks like he's already made another enemy, _Zero noted. "Shut up, Kaito," he muttered fondly, sharing an exasperated look with his new ally, Airi. Kaname was blocking off Kaito's beating with a self-contained protective bubble and ignored his threats with barely a glance. Instead he turned to Zero and joined in with the band of exasperated people. He even rolled his eyes, as if to ask: _Is he always like this?_

Zero nodded with a smirk.

"Kaito-san, really," Kaname said in cool voice, sending Kaito a diplomatically appeasing smile, "It wasn't _that_ bad a landing," he grinned at Zero, "Was it?"

Zero blinked once, considering speaking the _truth_ and admitting that, no, it _really was_ "that bad" a landing. He was still missing his stomach, had a plethora of new bruises (so much that he could be tanned by a purple sun), and felt like projectile vomiting was still a valid option.

_However._

Kaname's opportunity for ribbing Kaito, even a _little_, after having been subjected to listening to his whining for what felt like hours _upon hours_ –

Plus, there was that little, mischievous look in Kaname's eyes, and they held his gaze expectantly, persuasively…

"It was pleasant,"

Zero gave Kaito an equally cavity-inducing smile, practically batting his eyelashes – "It was like being in a dream – like I was flying!" he exclaimed with far too much enthusiasm, his smile broadening as Kaito's pale face turned green at the edges. Zero boldly directed a victorious wink towards Kaname, but with his one eye open he saw Kaname's teasing smile was gone and he was staring off into the distance.

"I fucking _beg to differ_," Kaito grumped, drawing his attention back to him with a sharp retort on his tongue – before he could respond, Kaname hurried past him roughly grasping his hand and pulling him along.

"We have to move," he insisted, "It's not safe here," he murmured and shot a cautious look at something in the dark, past any of their eyes' capabilities. He gave Zero's hand a brief squeeze, the intention unknown – "We spotted a herd of 'Es from the plane before,"

"Are they close?" Kaito gasped, instantly over his anger at the mention of 'Es. "Why didn't you fucking say so _before_?"

"They're not far from here, but not near either. Roughly an hour or so behind us now,"

Zero yanked on their connected hands indignantly, "That's _close_!" he cried, glancing fleetingly at their interlaced fingers. The sight of their hands linked in such a _familiar_ way was, for some bizarre reason, irritating him. He hated how Kaname assumed that he could just _take_ his hand like that. Who did he think he was? (Zero ignored the fact that Kaname was actually doing him a favour by holding his hand. The others had to struggle to follow him in the dark, especially at the pace they were going, whereas he was never at risk of getting lost).

"Yes it is," Kaname agreed.

"Why didn't you say so before?" Kaito repeated.

"We were a little _preoccupied_ back then," Kaname snapped, finally losing his temper – they all suddenly felt his Pureblood aura snap out of the blue and seize them in invisible hands, like puppets. Their arms and legs began to swing at exactly the same pace as Kaname's, perfectly in time. It was freaky to feel their limbs moving by Kaname's command, but they couldn't even protest against it. Zero could literally feel his lips glued shut - "You know, since we were _jumping from a _plane. It was a little difficult to speak. But now it is **vital **that we_ hurry_ so I would really appreciate it if you could shut up and _move,_"

"Don't speak to me that way – I don't answer to you!" the redhead growled, shaking against Kaname's kinesis, "And let go of me! Fucking _hell_!" he tossed his head back to face Zero upside-down, "How can you stand this, Zero-"

Suddenly the line of puppet-walkers halted. Though they couldn't see in the dark, they could sense Kaname's aura move down the line to stop in front of Kaito. They all held their breaths, hearing his footsteps stop.

"I don't like you,"

There was silence still, yet Zero felt a torrent of laughter bubbling up inside him like a volcano. It was just the way Kaname said it so _bluntly_, without shame or uncertainty (in fact, perhaps with pride).

"You waste time,"

It got better, it got better –

"You make trouble, and you don't understand what it means to be _quiet_,"

A hiss escaped from between his teeth, releasing some of the pressure of holding back laughter. _Oh Kaname, _he wanted to say, _so honest_. He wanted to commend the Pureblood for speaking on behalf of all of them (Kaito was being a baby, _really_), with all the subtlety of… well, with absolutely **no** subtlety. And that was deliberate too.

What could Kaito say to that? He couldn't see his face in the darkness, but he assumed he was either gaping at Kaname or fuming silently in humiliation. Either that or he was being forcefully shut up by Kaname again. Any of those possibilities was quite satisfying to imagine, he found.

With that, the group followed him in silence, trusting themselves to his eyes in the darkness. Something Zero noticed in the silence, due to his attention being left free to wander from controlling his body to feeling it _move_, was that there was only one limb he could freely move and feel fully (the other limbs felt strangely heavy and numb under rigid instruction). That was his hand – the hand clasped in Kaname's. He could flex his fingers through the paralysis, and he could even let go completely, if he wished.

Zero couldn't really explain why he didn't let go, when he didn't understand it himself. The last time he'd held Kaname's hand had been in the dark at the Hanadagi's during the rescue, and that time when he'd let go he'd received _Rido's _hand as a nasty replacement. Perhaps it was a comfort thing then. It was cold anyway. And holding Kaname's hand kept his nice and warm, so why _should_ he let go? There was a battle in his head, between embarrassment and comfort.

Maybe Kaname didn't realise he was choosing not to let go – maybe didn't know his powers had somehow managed to miss paralyzing Zero's hand.

And maybe… maybe that was a good thing.

* * *

><p>Eventually, the steam dissipated out of the cracked and shattered windows and the blown out door, and the moisture on their skin cooled rapidly as the cooler air sucked in, due to pressure. Kain struggled to lift himself off Aidou. Their wet clothes clung to each other and also – any separation from Aidou at the moment was deemed a bad move to make. After being apart – after finding Aidou like this – he dreaded any distance from his cousin, <em>ever<em> again. But when he pulled back, he also wished he hadn't because now he could truly see the full damage Aidou had received.

The gashes in his skin were a mix of haphazard cuts and precise, almost surgical incisions – altogether they cut him open. Some of the wounds were beginning to scab and clot, the swollen, puckered edges drawing together in dried blood; but some wounds were so deep that they were still wet and weeping. So was he, Kain absently noticed – he too was wet and weeping. Sobs that claimed his body and shook his nerves, cutting open his heart, just like Aidou.

"H-Hana, I'm s-so sorry…" Kain sputtered, bowing his head. There was no response – not that he expected to receive one. He was already resigned to Aidou's passing and didn't dare get his hopes up, even as he stripped off his coat to cover Aidou's ruined back and carefully rolled him over –

And yet, even without hope, he found Aidou – amazingly – **alive**.

The smaller Vampire heaved a great sigh and groaned at the pressure on his back. He only spotted the briefest glimpse of blue eyes before they dropped shut into unconsciousness – this however told Kain that he was, at least, still alive. Immediately his hope was restored and his heart leapt.

"H-Hana," he gasped, spreading his fingers to delicately cup his face. He was a little in disbelief of what he just saw – now that Aidou was still and his eyes closed, but at the same time, his joy crushed any doubts. Kain let out a shaky laugh and scooped Aidou up slowly, also carefully pulling himself onto his feet.

With deliberate care he positioned Aidou so he was hanging over his shoulder – this way he could feel and hear Aidou's pulse near his ear, which provided more comfort than he would have thought – and it also lessened aggravation to his back to carry him this way. Kain secured a hand to Aidou's leg and then took off, knowing it wasn't wise to linger in such a place.

He considered leaving via the window which he had used as an entryway, but the height was too great and it would jostle Aidou too much. It left them to take a path through the castle. Kain felt unbelievably exposed and vulnerable in the empty castle, feeling as if they could be ambushed at any time, yet they weren't – it became clear that the castle was empty.

It also became clear that they were _lost_. He had no idea of the layout of the castle, and the identical corridors, darkness and eerie shadows just didn't _help_. At all.

Beckoning flames to light his free hand barely made any difference. This didn't look like it was just _any _old darkness, but a very unusual, suffocating darkness, seeped in darker powers. The strength of such powers sucked the strength out of his own petty flame, and doused it till only a scant few embers were left to sizzle out on his palm.

"Shit!" Kain growled, kicking the door to another corridor open. He froze, spotting movement further down – a flicker of change in the contours of a shadow – "Shit," he mouthed silently to himself, darting to the side behind the door. Kain manoeuvred himself at the best angle where they had cover, yet where he didn't have to flatten Aidou to do so. They weren't alone.

They weren't alone.

It halted him in his tracks.

How on earth could he protect them from whoever that was (assuming the likely chance that they were an enemy) whilst carrying Aidou (and trying not to hurt/jostle him)? He pondered hurling a couple of fireballs down the corridor – but what if he missed? Then he'd just have angered/injured the enemy and provoked them further.

Shit. Shitty, shit, _shit_.

The mantra circled his head for a good two seconds before he got back down to business.

He couldn't afford to leave Aidou to the side, not even for a moment, or just so he could fight off the enemy. That would be leaving Aidou unprotected – in danger, and he wouldn't allow that to happen, ever. Also, he simply couldn't bring himself to detach from Aidou. It just wasn't an option.

So… the only way was to take Aidou with him.

Kain sucked in a deep breath, listened for Aidou's breathing, and then readied himself.

In the following three seconds, Kain leapt out of his hiding space, swerved sideways holding his free arm out ablaze before him, and _charged_ towards their unseen enemy. He let out an animalistic cry, hurtling down the corridor swiftly and swiping his arm in eccentrically sporadic, yet precise arcs across the width of the corridor.

He barely managed to stop himself tripping over their enemy, only catching himself in the bare second before his foot made contact with him. And when Kain stumbled and flustered, hurriedly spinning around to face him again, he found, to his surprise, that their enemy was barely a threat at all. He appeared to be slumped against the wall in a heap, and was largely unresponsive to Kain's fire, or his noisy yell, or the undoubtedly painful contact of his foot to his extended shin.

Kain kept his fire alight but only aglow rather than blazing. He managed to catch his breath before decisively lowering himself down to the level of the unthreatening man. In Kain's mind, if they were in any danger at all by this stranger, they would already be battling it out. The man didn't seem to notice them at all though, and this made Kain wonder if he was even alive.

"Sir?" he called cautiously, reaching out his flame hand to the man's face. The man cowered back, shielding his face with his hands. Kain frowned, "Sir, it's alright," he spoke quietly, gentling his voice, "I'm not… if you're not _my_ enemy, I won't be yours. I won't hurt you, I promise,"

The man let out a weary sigh, slowly removing his trembling hands.

Kain's jaw dropped, and he almost let Aidou slip off his shoulder in shock.

"Hanadagi-sama?" he breathed, horrified at the state of Nori _now_. The last time he'd seen him was after his and Aidou's rescue from the castle. Back then Nori was already in a poor condition, but now he just… now he just looked like he'd been _mauled_. There were heavy gashes all over his face, and though many were healing, they gave off the scent of scabbing blood and infection – a sickening scent, to say the least. It spoke of death.

Nori looked like death. His blind eyes wavered in the flame light, watering still from the blaze of heat, but not the light. He could see no more –

"You are someone who has been here before," Nori said in a surprisingly strong voice. His head raised further and he straightened his back as he regarded Kain with great suspicion, "I recognise your voice, and your smell. Your flame brought down my castle…"

Funnily enough, Kain felt his ears flame much hotter than his hand, and he ducked his head in embarrassment, "My apologies, Hanadagi-sama. I was ordered to make a distraction-"

"By Kaname?"

Kain lifted his head, nodding first, and then he realised – "Yes. I follow Kaname-sama's orders," he agreed formally.

"Good," Nori smiled, the crease of his lips stretching opened up a new gaping wound, but he didn't even flinch, "For some reason you're all turning up here, and for that I am grateful,"

Kain hummed, "Hanadagi-sama," he pressed, "What are you doing here? What happened?"

Nori's head rolled to the side and he shrugged with a depreciative smile, "Who knows? I couldn't see," he drawled tonelessly, "All the warning I got was… well – _none_. Rido-san just got fed up of me, I suppose. I'm too old, he says, too much trouble. I'm still under his power – he's my Master till the day he dies," he laughed humourlessly, "But he finds it too troublesome to expend energy on me, so he left me here to rot,"

Kain was rather glad Nori was blind, otherwise he'd have seen his appalled expression widening to epic, and comical proportions. He couldn't _believe_ Rido – to abandon Nori, _blind!_ Well, actually he _could_ believe Rido would do such a thing, but it was just unacceptable!

"Who hurt you?" he asked, daring to reach closer to his face. He just remembered that his fingers were lit when Nori instinctively drew back from their searing heat.

The Pureblood's disturbing smile appeared again, "Well, I assume it was the 'Es. Rido's left. Gone. I don't suppose he gave the order for them to hurt me – it would prove ineffective after I made them. He just directed them which direction to leave in and I was caught in their path,"

Trampled. Stampeded by 'Es – that was the reason for Nori's current disfigurement, and the fact that his Pure blood soaked him to the bone. Kain absentmindedly noted that he hadn't picked up on the scent of Pure blood over Aidou's (which hung distractingly close to his nose) again. All he could smell was Aidou. He only comprehended the presence of Pure blood from seeing it.

"Why didn't you defend yourself?" he asked, "Why didn't you shield yourself with your powers? Surely you could have done that," _Now you're another injured person I have to carry out of here, _he mused.

Nori shook his head, "I can't use my powers without Rido's consent, and this was punishment for being a trouble,"

Kain struggled to understand this reasoning. Hadn't Kaname told them he was Awakened by Rido, and that Rido was therefore _his_ Master too? How could he use his powers so freely then?

_Then again_, he thought, _it __**is**__ Kaname we're talking about here. _Kaname was _always_ different. From what he'd told them anyway, he was pretty ancient anyway – over ten thousand years or something. That meant the effects of the Master-Awakened links between them may have loosened. Perhaps Kaname was too powerful himself to be restrained by them.

He was _Kaname_. That pretty much explained his exclusivity anyways.

"Come on," Kain sighed, dousing the fire with a snap of his fingers and reaching down to lift Nori up. The Pureblood obediently followed his guiding hands, to lean half on Kain's other shoulder as he was pulled upright. "Can you walk? Good," Kain inwardly sighed again in relief. At least Nori could walk by himself. "Take my hand. I must warn you though – I'm lost. I have no idea how to get out of here,"

"Can you describe the room to me?" Nori suggested. Kain snorted rather rudely before he could stop himself, and winced from Nori's pointed stare, even though it missed him directly by inches.

"It's dark, and pretty much all the corridors are charred which makes them look the same," he explained sheepishly, shrugging, "Sorry,"

Nori nodded thoughtfully, "Not to worry. We must simply then follow our noses,"

"I can't smell fresh air anywhere,"

"We aren't smelling for fresh air," Nori said, "But exactly the _opposite_. It makes sense to follow the trail of the 'Es to get out of the castle, does it not? And they smell of the direct _opposite _of fresh air – like death and blood. Copious blood,"

The plan made logical sense, and Kain wondered why he hadn't thought of it before. They set off, following the stinking path the 'Es had thoughtlessly left in their wake. Amazingly, the plan seemed to be working. Despite not being able to see a distinguishable thing, Kain somehow could tell that they were moving in a definite direction instead of moving in circles. That was progress, at least.

He couldn't tell how long they had been walking for, but then, just as they were approaching another closed corridor, the doorknob started to turn. With it, Kain's stomach turned too. He hastily pushed Nori roughly behind him, hushing him and carefully transferring Aidou onto him too. Kain then widened his stance before them and hissed to Nori to step backwards. His protective instincts were practically rising hackles on his neck (if he was a dog), and he even felt a growl rumbling in his belly – the primitive noise of a Vampire readying for battle –

The door swung open.

At the same time, Kain let out a frightening snarl and from his fingers sprang blade-like projections of flames. He almost lunged forwards in an offensive attack, but – again – barely managed to restrain himself, just in time, because it ended up that the people on the other side of the door happened to be –

"_Christ_, Kain!"

Takuma's own hands were similarly poised ready to strike, only in his hand was his trusty katana – thankfully. Kain really didn't want to think what _might_ have happened had either one of them thrown their powers at each other. Takuma would've been fried, but he would've been _disintegrated_ (this thought disturbed him so much that his flames doused themselves and he visibly shuddered in relief).

"What are you doing here?" Takuma panted, but his face visibly slackened in relief. An identically grateful smile grew on Kain's.

"Rescuing Hana, of course," he grinned, jerking his thumb backwards. It was then that he noticed Takuma's two companions – a smaller teenager holding what appeared to be an _unconscious __**Human**__? _The ludicrousness of seeing a Human – bleeding heavily – in a room with two Purebloods and three Vampires was not only _mildly_ alarming – it was just _bizarre_ – "Takuma…?" he mumbled questioningly.

The blonde nodded, clearing his throat, "Well – this is… well, this is a _soldier_ who accompanied me during the Diversion mission. He defended me and was badly hurt, as you can see, so… and that's Kohaku-sa-"

"Kohaku?"

They both turned to Nori – Kain luckily caught Aidou before he was dropped from Nori's slipping fingers. The Pureblood's ruined face was filled with awe. "Kohaku?" he called.

"'tou-san?" Kohaku answered, and Takuma similarly rescued Boy from his loosening clutches. "Is that you? Where are you?"

It was a mix of feelings they all felt, watching the two reuniting. They had to smell the air and listen to each other's mirroring footsteps till they met in the middle of the room, and finally – _finally_ – Nori reached out to touch Kohaku's arm. The boy flinched back, but held his ground determinedly. He was shaking. You could see him shaking from where Kain and Takuma stood. Kohaku was afraid – of his own father?

Of course he was. He knew what had happened to him. He knew his father wasn't the same anymore – he was blind, yet, he'd seen many things. He'd had bad things done to him, and he had done bad things. Kohaku had done the same bad things too, and he felt ashamed.

The gentle touch of his father had him shrinking back in… in…

Nori let out a small, but heartrending whimper, reaching out again to embrace him –

And this time, Kohaku reached out to receive him too. Nori enveloped his son in his arms, a sob reverberating off their colliding bodies. Kohaku clawed at his father's back, begging for forgiveness, weeping brokenly –

"- I... I'm s-sorry!" he hiccupped, digging into his belt for the pouch of crystals tucked inside. He patted his father's hands open and poured the contents into them, "K-Kasumi, otou-san… it's Mimi, papa…"

"Oh," Nori croaked. He thumbed the pale pink crystals lovingly, tenderly – "Oh, my… my…" he shook his head silently, black teeth clenched in indescribable agony. His shaking fingers accidently let one crystal slip free and it crashed and shattered on the floor. The crystals, after all, were only crystals. Unlike Purebloods themselves, the crystals that they shatter to are destructible – in fact, they're incredibly fragile.

"Oh, otou-san!" Kohaku groaned, and they embraced again, fiercely – holding each other so tightly, because they were the only ones there. They were the only ones who understood what they'd been through. They were the only family members Awake, who knew of the horrors of the current time. They were the ones who would have to share their strengths when it came to the time when the whole family was Woken, and they would have to explain what had happened to their precious youngest child.

"Let's leave them be," Takuma whispered, appearing at Kain's side without him even noticing. They both walked a little sideways to the doorway to give the family a little more space. Kain adjusted his hold on Aidou again so he was slung on his shoulder and Takuma copied him with the soldier. They shared a worried look, juxtaposed with their still grateful grins. Though Kain didn't really think of Takuma as being his number-one friend exactly, he was truly _beyond_ happy to have him there right then. At least there was someone else there with him, in pretty much _exactly _the same position as himself (they both had in their group: a blind person and an unconscious person). Takuma's eyebrow suddenly jumped up, startling Kain at its gymnastics, "You know what you're in for when we get back?"

This made Kain grimace, and Takuma chuckled lightly. "Yeah," he whined. He'd almost forgotten the fact that he'd blatantly disobeyed Kaname's orders by leaving the castle. _Boy_ was he in for it. Kain hung his head with a wry grin, winking at Takuma, "So why are you here?"

Takuma made his eyebrow do another unimpressed twitch, "The _diversion mission_?" he reminded him.

"Oh yeah – how did – I mean, where are… where are…" _all the soldiers?_ He virtually mimed his question out, too reluctant to breach the sensitive topic. It was pretty obvious the success of the mission.

Takuma's green eyes dropped in disgrace, "Well, the corridors are empty, and I mean – I mean… I-"

"It's okay," Kain gruffly clapped him on the shoulder. He instantly regretted doing so, since this only made Takuma grunt in pain, "They knew… You have to accept they knew what they were getting themselves into,"

Takuma shrugged, "Does it make a difference?"

No. No it didn't, and it had been a shoddy way of trying to perk him up. In fact, all Kain had done was rub in the fact that Takuma had lead a suicide mission, and unsurprisingly – many had been sacrificed. Despite promising them the mission would not result in death, a whole platoon had been completely obliterated. The guilt was unimaginable.

"I'm sorry," Kain offered a smaller pat on the shoulder. Takuma nodded, letting a grunt show that he wasn't angry.

"What's done is done," he said instead. Takuma circled Kain to peer down at Aidou, "I wondered what happened to him," he said, "He took off. No doubt you knew Aidou was losing it. He wasn't feeding. He's so _stubborn_,"

"God, do I know it," Kain chortled, patting Aidou's leg affectionately. _God did he know it._

He felt Takuma lift Aidou's face which was nestled against his shoulder blade, and then the blonde was muttering something. Takuma returned to his side, Boy still drooped over his own shoulder. He had his eyes narrowed though and was staring at Aidou's bloody back.

It was when all the blood in Takuma's face drained away that Kain felt himself begin to panic again.

"What is it? Is he still breathing?" he demanded, scrabbling at Aidou's leg and then straining his ears to listen for Aidou's breath. He couldn't hear over the sound of the suddenly deafening pulse of his own heartbeat in his throat.

"_Shit. _Kain, he's so weak. I had no idea-" Takuma shook his head, "His pulse is so faint – as is his breathing shallow. We're losing him. _Kain, we're losing him-"_

Kain had completely frozen in abject horror. _We're losing him_. There was only one word running around his head in wild hysteria: _No, no, no!_

Takuma bit his lip, studying his friend's face for a few seconds before launching into action. He deposited Boy on the floor nearby, hurriedly checking his vitals too before returning to Kain, who was still frozen in his spot. Takuma tugged on Aidou's leg but Kain's hand shot out, catching him around the wrist, and the fire-master's head jerked to face him, his expression deadly. It was as if Kain thought he was Death, come to take Aidou from him. Kain's grip was bruising and Takuma panted in pain.

"Kain," he gasped, clenching his fists, "_Kain_," he repeated firmly, "We need to get him onto a level surface. Come _on_, or he'll d-"

Kain smoothly released him and in one graceful sweep, lifted Aidou off his back and into his arms. There weren't many level surfaces in the chaos of the room, other than the floor, so Aidou was carefully laid on it. Takuma helped spread his limbs flat under the watchful eye of one overprotective Kain, and he tried to make it seem like he was totally unaffected by Kain's terrifying protective aura (which writhed around him like a dancing flame), but it was _distracting_, and his hands were shaking.

"Kain, _stop it_," he snapped angrily, bending down to examine Aidou. He only had a rudimentary understanding of basic first-aid from what he'd gathered in the last War, but from what he knew… from what he could see… "How much blood has he lost?" he breathed, stroking Aidou's icy face. The irony of his thoughts had no time to be appreciated. Aidou was cold. He was really, really cold. "He is only a few breaths away from death-"

"_Don't say that!"_

Kain curled defensively over Aidou's prone body, warding Takuma off with a menacing growl. "Get back!" he snarled.

"Kain," Takuma said gently, "I'm only trying to help-"

"No!" Kain howled, tenderly pulling Aidou's head onto his lap. "You're _not_ helping! He won't die, he _won't!"_

"Do you think I like what I'm saying?" Takuma cried, gesturing to Aidou helplessly, "Do you think I like what I'm seeing? But it's _the truth!_ But there's _nothing_ we can do! He's beyond help now. By the time we get back to the castle, he'll be dead,"

The fire-master shook his head tenaciously, "There must be something we can do," he lifted begging eyes to Takuma, "_Anything_,"

But Takuma could only return Kain's hope back to him as gently as he could, "I'm sorry,"

Kain closed his eyes.

* * *

><p>"I'm not moving,"<p>

Zero sent Kaname a weak smile, "Not for a while at least. Gimme a second," he panted, dropping the floor inelegantly onto his knees. Kaname nodded in agreement and turned to look out for the other two, finding them walking to them just then. Kaito looked much better now, and his face was flushed red from the run and glowing. Similarly Airi was pinkish and bright-eyed, wiping her mouth from the refreshing drink of water she'd taken at the pump.

Kaname looked down at Zero and couldn't help but compare the differences in his condition. He was still panting, but where the others were pumping red-faced from escalated blood-flow, Zero's face was ashen and his expression strained. Was his face this angular before? Did he look so battered? Kaname was already blaming himself for the hand-shaped mark wrapped around one of Zero's bony wrists, where it perfectly fit his hand. He shouldn't have pulled so hard. He should have just picked Zero up to run – but then again, Zero would have felt more nauseous off his own two feet running.

And, he wouldn't forgive him for it. Again.

"Remarkable," Kaito exclaimed, beaming up at the Academy, "It really _wasn't _that far away. It's amazing – you, speaking the truth," he directed at Kaname. Airi hissed like a cat at this disrespect. Kaito only rolled his eyes.

"I always speak the truth," Kaname insisted, "It just depends on how _much_ of the truth I tell, or what parts I choose to reveal-"

"Okay, okay, let's go," Zero snapped, rising by himself (ignoring Kaname's outstretched hand. What was he – a girl?) and hurrying to the gates before any of the others. Soon he heard the others' footsteps fall beside or behind him, and then the rusty scream of the gate door swinging shut behind them. He eyed the front of the main building – where the students and Headmaster and Master Yagari were all currently hiding away in.

It looked the same. It looked like nothing had changed since he'd last been there (how long had that been?). Zero felt a pang of longing – the same jolt of desire to claim this place as his home that he got every time he returned from a mission or elsewhere. He'd lived at the Academy for the longest in all his years, under the care of Kaien.

It never felt like _home_, but it was the closest he had to the feeling. The sense of belonging to a home had long died with the Kiryuu household. Only, perhaps, Ichiru could ever reawaken that feeling.

He let out a little cold huff of misty air, hissing through his teeth, and when he pulled himself away from his thoughts he realised he was a good few metres behind everyone else. Zero growled to himself. Distraction. Don't – no, _never_ be distracted. It was a simple yet vital rule to survival.

Zero trudged onwards, glowering at the backs of… of Kaito and Airi – where was Kaname?

He was answered by Kaname's hand on his shoulder. The Pureblood's concerned expression loomed over Zero when Kaname drew them to a stop and bent forwards. He continued to lean forwards into Zero's personal space, making him more than a little uncomfortable –

"Hold on," Kaname whispered in his ear, pulling him back with an intense look in his eyes.

"When we go inside, you must promise me you'll stay by my side, at _all_ times,"

He narrowed his eyes but nodded nonetheless, "Fine," he grunted, trying not to snort at the ridiculously triumphant smile Kaname then displayed.

"Good. But say you _promise_,_"_ Kaname urged – and the way he was looking at him, Zero almost expected him to be holding out his pinky finger. God, how childish.

He rolled his eyes good-naturedly, folding his arms, "I said it, didn't I? Okay, I swear – I _promise!_"

Kaname's garnet eyes scanned his own for any deceptions for little while, during which Zero felt like he was under probably more scrutiny in that one gaze than he had ever received. He wasn't sure what Kaname was exactly looking for, so he tried just to look as blank and emotionless as ever.

"Good," Kaname nodded, squeezing Zero's shoulder. It was an action meant to then let go of him, but Kaname's hand remained, and Zero's eye glanced at it once before returning back to those two garnet eyes – so penetrating and fiercely concentrated – on him. Why? He had no idea why Kaname wanted to slowly bore holes into him with his eyes, but it weirdly managed to simultaneously grate at his nerves and _intrigue_ him. Really – striking up a friendship with Kaname was turning out to be beyond anything he had anticipated. Beyond Pureblood, or even Vampire – Kaname was just inexplicably _eccentric_ and strange and this lent him an even _stranger_ magnetic ambiance which made it difficult for Zero to avoid him.

It was again, as per usual, the other Hunter who broke up the moment.

"Get over here, lovebirds!" Kaito barked shrilly, hands on hips and impatience pouring off him in waves. He gave Kaname a dirty look, "We don't have time to dilly-dally,"

Zero shook Kaname off again casually, though his hands felt singed from just brushing his fingertips, and he shot Kaito a withering glare before storming off, red-faced in embarrassment. _Lovebirds?_ Really, how _childish. _Was he surrounded by children or what? Kaname just sighed, wondering how Kaito was able to say that _now._

Had Zero stayed behind, he would've been pleased to see Airi leap into the air to cuff Kaito on the head on her return to the ground – ever loyal to pay back her saviour. The momentum of the blow sent him tumbling into the dirt. Oh yes. Zero would have been _very _pleased.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's <em>Second<em> Note:**

**guys, it has occurred to me that Boy cannot continue being known as "Boy". at some point he will have to have a name. **

**potential first names:**

**Tamehiko? Susumu? Ayumu?**

**personally, i like... i like (is indecisive)... i...**

**hmm. i think Tamehiko is cute, since it can be turned into "Tame-chan". but Susumu is nice too, and Ayumu is very poetic...**

**heh.**

**any (other) suggestions?**


	84. Disembodiment

**Author's Note:**

**Well, shit, I'm sorry. I've been away for a LONG time. **

**University interview time, guys. I'm preparing (panicking) and losing tons of sleep XD**

**But I promise you, I'm fixed on this story. Whenever I have a spare moment I come here and do a bit, a paragraph or something, so it's getting done slowly but surely. This story will be my tortoise – slow and steady. **

**Until xmas. Then I'll try to go all out with chapters flying right, left and centre like before – but there are no promises there, ok? Exams are around the corner. Eeks.**

**Enjoy, my lovelies! Thank you for sticking with me and being so lovely and patient~! Ciaooo for nowww!**

* * *

><p><strong>"Your life experience is unfolding in the precise response to the vibrations that radiate as a result of your thoughts, whether you know it is or not." <strong>

**~Esther Hicks**

* * *

><p>Rattling laughter echoed in the cramp space, shaking the thin walls with strength it shouldn't possess and boisterousness that belied its master, though it thickened deep in his gravelly throat, where it died seconds later. A slim hand combed back long straw-coloured hair, which had darkened to brown from sweat where it stuck to his face, and a cool damp cloth was placed on his forehead. The man let out a sigh of appreciation and beamed at his friend, as though he had shifted the world, or performed a miracle, rather than just alleviating him from the tight, overbearing heat. Before he could move away again, no doubt to scurry off to find something else "useful to do", Kaien caught his sleeve and dragged him to the chair – again with surprising strength. His friend shot him a suspicious look. He wouldn't put it past the mischievous Hunter to be playing with him, making him nurse him back to health just for the fun of it.<p>

"Hey, take a break. I'm fine," Kaien patted his hand, sinking back under his blanket again with a small shudder. It was this little movement that told him Kaien couldn't _possibly_ be acting ill. The slightest change in temperature – even when they opened the door for ventilation, or took him out of bed to relieve himself – made him tremble like a hanging leaf caught in a strong winter breeze. Already he had their coats, their spare shirts and even their socks piled on top of him to keep him warm and to "sweat out the fever", as Yagari had suggested. He had no idea what this phrase meant or how this was meant to help cure Kaien's illness, being a Vampire, but a Hunter would know these things, he supposed. The rank odour of it swamped the already humid room, and the enclosed space made it difficult to breathe. Yagari swore he could practically _taste_ the sweat on his tongue whenever he entered the room, and it made him feel sick, so he was released from the room – sent away _by Kaien_ to guard the students in the basements, so that the sickness wouldn't be passed onto him. Yagari still managed to return every hour on the dot.

The Vampire nodded reluctantly, choosing to listen to his weakened friend for once and dropping into his chair quite dramatically. A heavy sigh added to the swirling heat he just could not _escape_ – driving him mad. Making his clothing stick to his skin uncomfortably. It was like being in a sauna _fully-dressed_ – absolutely insane.

"Oh cheer up, it could be worse,"

He lifted his head with absolute disbelief written on his face. _It could be worse?_ _It could be worse, my_**ass**_…_

Another breeze of easy laughter tickled his ears, and he found soon himself smiling too, if only a little bit. Kaien's joyfulness was _always_ infectious, and it would always be. It was one of the reasons they got along so well – he loved to laugh and Kaien provided that opportunity – very, _very_ often. But it pained his heart to see his dear friend sounding so weak and his laughter sounding brittle. When he finished, he was sorely out of breath. He poured a glass of water – only a little – Yagari hadn't been able to bring more the last time and they were running low (most of the water _must _have evaporated into the hot air, he thought ruefully).

Kaien sipped it slowly, spluttering a little. Luckily the water didn't turn pink this time.

"Stop frowning, you'll get wrinkles,"

This made him snort loudly. "After _you_, old man," Their little joke always made them smile. Both old men barely touched on looking their true age. They were always betting on who would get the first wrinkle or white hair. The joke was perhaps, not quite as appropriate now as it used to be. Over the course of his injury and illness, Kaien appeared to have aged at least a decade. His face was pasty, he squinted his eyes (though this was because his glasses stayed off his face most of the time) and, possibly due to the stress, pain or his chronic tiredness (recently, from stress), he _did_ in fact sport a couple of wrinkles nowadays (though the most prominent of these were found at the corners of his eyes, where his skin crinkled and folded when he smiled).

Kaien grinned, boyishly, and it still managed to bring a small but warm smile to his own lips too. However, as soon as he began unbuttoning his cuff the smile died and Kaien's face became panicked. He ignored him though, rolling up his sleeve with practised ease, he pulled a needle out of the bedside table drawer and linked it to a thin coiling tube. Though Kaien began to make protesting noises, he ignored him (this process repeated every time he did this) and calmly pierced the crook of his elbow, dropping the end of the tube into the empty glass.

They both watched the line of dark, almost black blood travel down the tube. After getting impatient with the slow process the first few times, he'd chopped the tube to around ten centimetres. Kaien almost flinched as the first droplet hit the glass.

"I don't need it,"

The Vampire ignored Kaien's plea, breathing steadily as the blood drained from his arm into the glass – one finger high. Two fingers high. Three…

"Please – it doesn't _do_ anything,"

He gave Kaien a hollow stare, slipping the needle out and pressing the glass to his sealed lips again. He had to wiggle the glass to wedge it between them, "Take it, if you don't want it to spill and be wasted,"

Kaien scowled, "Don't waste it on me then. I won't drink it. It doesn't _do_ anything,"

He didn't seem to hear him.

"Open up,"

"_Please_," the Hunter begged, pleading with a pleading look, "It makes me feel _sick_,"

It never ceased to amaze him how his blood – _his_ blood – could make anyone feel sick, but then again – Kaien _was_ a Hunter. They leaned towards the more Human side of life, in not enjoying the taste of blood. Not appreciating the honour of being offered _good_ blood.

He jokingly took a sniff of his blood, pouting excessively, "_Why_?" he whined childishly, "It's not _poisoned_ Kaien-kun. I promise-"

"Still smells like _shit_ to us, Vampire," a voice boomed, and they both turned to see Yagari staggering through the narrow passage towards them, a freezing blast of cool air hitting them in the face. He carried a few bottles of water and had other supplies wedged under his arm – mostly bandages, antiseptics, and other essentials. He dumped them at the foot of the bed and then leaned against the wall, casting his eye on Kaien with deceiving laziness. The two of them could see that beneath his cool nonchalance he was tense with fright and worry.

"Toga-chan, be nice," Kaien scolded with barely any bite. He beckoned his student over with barely more than a glance, and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder when the anti-touchy-feely bastard came near enough to reach. "How are the children?" he asked, eagerly diverting attention away from him and the blood.

Yagari snorted explosively, "Bloody nuisances," he snarled gruffly, drawing laughter from them both.

Kaien was very pleased with Yagari, in all truth and honesty. When they had been escaping the 'Es, scrambling into the hidden passages, in the dark they had bumped into his other friend and – _unsurprisingly_ – Yagari almost blasted his head off with his gun. He later proceeded to throw a major fit because Kaien had kept his **Vampire** "_friend"_ a secret from him (with good intentions)_ – _letting him live secretly in the school's hidden passages. His fury was averted when Kaien finally passed out from blood-loss and well… he wasn't _exactly_ sure what had ensued between fainting and when he next woke up, but by _that_ time Yagari's anger had amazingly cooled off. He woke up to him and his other friend sitting in this cramped room, hovering on either side of him (like guardian angels, he'd thought, sentimentally). They appeared to have come to some sort of a truce for _his_ sake, to which he was intensely grateful since the room was suffocating enough, and they definitely did not need any extra (murderous in) tension to add to it.

Yagari patted his mentor's hand – an uncharacteristic gentleness on his part, but since he'd passed out Yagari had been acting far more gentle than usual, which was plain _sweet_ (he'd commented on this, and received a withering glare and Yagari storming off in embarrassment). He pulled himself a seat beside the bed and then levelled a narrow-eyed glare at Kaien again. His eyes flitted to the glass, and his mouth twisted in disgust, but then he sent his mentor an even sharper glower.

"Just drink the damn thing," he snapped. Harsh and blunt as always.

Kaien opened his mouth again to protest, but this only allowed most of the blood to be forcefully poured down his throat. He almost hacked it back up, but his friend hastily slapped his palm over his lips and nostrils, sealing them, and he was forced to swallow by Yagari's fingers massaging his throat. After he was released, he dropped back onto the bed, exhausted.

"How long has he been sleeping?" Yagari asked.

"He only woke five minutes ago, roughly,"

Yagari shifted restlessly, his brow falling low over his eye, almost having the same effect as his eye-patch at covering it, "That's too long. I told you he shouldn't sleep for too long,"

"What can I do? He's tired. He needs to rest,"

"But he also needs to stay awake. What if he falls too deeply asleep? What happens if he doesn't w-" Yagari halted, shooting a simultaneously horrified and apologetic look at Kaien briefly. He was waved off calmly, though the implications of what he was about to say lingered like the bitter taste of salt in the air.

Yagari cleared his throat awkwardly, grumbling, "He eaten anything?"

"No. How are the young ones?"

"Fine. Noisy. They need to shut up, I keep telling them…"

The conversation between the two continued, and Kaien enjoyed having his friends' comforting voices to lull him to sleep again. Yagari still found it difficult to stay for any extended time in the presence of his Vampire friend, but he did so for his sake (which again, he had mentioned was _sweet_, and _again_, made Yagari's visit end abruptly and early). He strictly limited his visit time to fifteen minutes maximum and chose to sacrifice his specific preferences of: **no** touchy-feely, **no** Vampires and **no** unnecessary socialising – all for Kaien. He let Kaien hold his hand or sometimes his shoulder; he spoke to the _Vampire_, engaging him in small-talk over and over and over again, just to cut what would grow to become an awkward silence. _Everything_ was for Kaien's comfort at the moment.

Because things weren't looking good. At all. They looked pretty dour, actually.

"Stop worrying…" a sleepy voice murmured, barely above a whisper. Both men quietened though, as if Kaien had called for their silence. Yagari hadn't noticed that the conversation had dwindled a good while ago, or that he was three minutes over his time limit already (he hadn't been checking his watch). He hadn't noticed that he had been staring at Kaien for this time overdue, lips pressed in a tight line and storm-grey eyes turbulent and brooding.

He watched Kaien's mouth twitch up once before he tumbled back into sleep faster than a candle flame flickering out, his lips slackening and a deafening snore instantly ripping out of his nasal cavity. When the snoring ceased abruptly, both carers leaned over precariously to check –

And were thrown back in their seats by an almighty, earth-shaking _snore_. Yagari shared an exasperated look with his conscious companion, yet they both grinned, watching Kaien accurately imitating a chainsaw with his bronchial tubes. They had both agreed it was better to hear him snore than not. At least they knew he was still breathing… and, well, at least that meant they _knew_ he was still…

"He tells us to, 'stop worrying,'"

Yagari was pulled out of his brooding thoughts again, this time by the Vampire beside him. He watched the man's perfect features furrow into a frown and his mouth flap open and closed a few times, clearly uncertain how to phrase whatever he was about to say.

"But… _he_ worries me,"

Yagari's eyes softened marginally and he ducked his head, hiding his own warring emotions under his hair. Inside, he was terrified. Each time he visited them, he could only see Kaien getting worse and worse…

"I know," was all he could say, a helpless little shrug tacked on after, he ground his scuffed soles into the ground, "We can't last like this much longer, but they'll come," in his mind flashed the lasting image of his adoptive-student, Kaito. He had slapped on his only remaining transportation seal onto his _face,_ telling him to go get help – he was their only hope. He was confident he'd not fail them, "They'll be here soon," he repeated quietly.

Then Yagari stood swiftly, signifying the end of his visit. He was _six_ minutes overdue now. The Vampire walked him to the entrance, listing a couple things they needed off the top of his head and holding the door open for him graciously. The Hunter nodded at him. Truth be told, in the short time he'd known this Vampire, he'd become rather _okay_ with him. Not friends, but _okay_, and he was grudgingly starting to respect him more too.

"Take care,"

Yagari grunted in reply, pulling his hat on again and checking his holster carefully, brushing his fingers against the grip. As he stepped away from the door, into the dusty remnants of what had been the Headmaster's Office, he only looked back once, seeing the Vampire's pale glowing face nodded once at him before dissolving into the shadows, the crack of the door slipped shut, merging into the panelling soundlessly. Once it was shut, he listened for the click – it was now locked too. Then, he left.

* * *

><p><em>The fire-master shook his head tenaciously, "There must be something we can do," he lifted begging eyes to Takuma, "Anything,"<em>

_But Takuma could only return Kain's hope back to him as gently as he could, "I'm sorry,"_

_Kain closed his eyes._

He could distantly hear the low tones of Takuma's voice hushing him, but the sound was muted. Muffled, like someone had wrapped his head in cotton wool. He thrashed against a pair of arms blindly as they pulled him away from the pool of frozen, pink-crackled blood – from _Aidou_ – he was panting and screeching, his eyes bulging –

And then, like a netted fish, he lost the will to fight. Gasping like a drowning fish, he slumped in the arms that curled around him tenderly. Arms which drew him to a comforting embrace, providing a shoulder he could smother his screams in.

It was like some sort of barrier now isolated him from the real world, and all noises and sounds were muffled and didn't make sense. Even though he was practically squeezing the life out of Takuma and had his head buried so deeply against his collarbone that he could hear his heartbeat thrumming through it (wild like a beating war-drum), he felt disturbingly alone and detached from the world around him. The deep ache in his chest and throat and his stinging face told him he was, or had been crying. Kain didn't know it, but his throat hurt more because of his convulsive sobbing which had by now quietened into wet hiccups.

"Kain… _Kain_,"

Finally, he managed to catch what Takuma was saying from the dull echoes in his head. The blonde's green eyes were bright in the dim light and his lips were moving, but Kain was still struggling to understand what he was saying. It all seemed so very far away –

_Slap!_

Kain yelped, his voice piercing the bubble. It was like emptying his ears of water the way all the panicked noises of the room and their perilous situation flooded back to him, and he was once again swimming amidst the chaos. For some reason, even though he had sustained pain far greater than this mere slap, the pain drew more tears to his eyes. Kain felt a prickle of humiliation at how easily he was made to cry again, but his eyes kept drifting solemnly to the bloody body mere inches away from them, blurred into a mess of red by the tears –

"Kain!"

There was a sting on his cheek where he had been slapped … and it was starting to smart. The two Purebloods had somehow, during his temporary deafness, shifted closer to them and were kneeling beside Takuma, muttering too quietly and lowly to be overheard. Kain's suspicious eyes watched them warily. They kept gesturing to Aidou, and then to Boy –

"Kain, for _God's_ sake!"

He turned back to Takuma's flustered face and admonishing eyes and felt a wave of embarrassment for his behaviour. "_Look at me_, Kain. Come on, _snap out of it_!" Takuma gritted between his teeth, looking like he was in a great deal of pain. It was when he realised Takuma's face was reddened and sweaty and there was this smoky… there was this smell of _burning_ – burning _something_ –

"Shit!" Kain quickly released his friend, batting out the embers and scorches and plucking the flames off his clothes like they were lint. Takuma's shirt survived quite well, but there were five little holes on each sleeve where his fingers had been and reddened skin beneath the holes – "Sorry," he mumbled, bashfully avoiding his friend's forgiving gaze. He always lost control of his fire when he was emotional. Though Kain was known to be less volatile than Aidou, at times… at times… well, _he was __**fire. **_He was _meant_ to be hot-blooded.

Kain reached up, delicately prodding at his bruising cheek. He deserved it. He shouldn't be allowed to lose himself in despair and grief when Takuma was most likely also terrified.

"Listen to me, Kain," Takuma repeated, drawing his attention back up to his vivid eyes which were so clear and focused – "_Stop_ getting distracted! _Come on_-"

Takuma stopped mid-speech, tilting his head to the Hanadagi's. Kain strained his neck to see what they were doing. Kohaku was crawling towards them – no, towards _Aid-_

"**Don't touch him**,"

The words were ripped from deep down in his gut, surprisingly _hostile_ with the way he bared his teeth and writhed in Takuma's arms to be let go –

"Kain!" Takuma cried, aghast that his friend would speak to Purebloods in this manner. He wrestled Kain to the ground – which was no mean feat. Kain had always been physically the strongest of the group, and now that he was fuelled with protective _rage_ – "Stop it! Kai-"

"**No**_**! **_Don't **touch** him!" Kain roared, clawing at Takuma's arms. When his friend yelped in pain and he felt wet blood at his fingertips, he stopped, horrified again at how he was acting.

What was wrong with him?

The Hanadagi's weren't a threat. They were _blind_ for god's sake. They couldn't use their own Pureblood powers without Rido's consent. They were harmless.

And yet, seeing them – seeing _anyone_ getting near Aidou's prone body like that stirred something dangerous reaction in Kain's gut that made him leap into action. It was something incongruous, like both fear _and_ fury mixed together.

"The Hanadagi's were telling us something, _before_ you started to space out," Takuma informed him stiffly. Kain felt Takuma flexing his arm with a pained hiss and winced himself when he saw the claw marks ooze blood.

His attention was drawn back to the Hanadagi's as one of them cleared their throat, and then he watched Kohaku place a hand on Aidou's elbow… he blinked slowly, forcing his gaze back to Kohaku's face and not at his hand. The sickening anger was mildly nauseating, yet he could feel his whole body trembling with the urge to _kick _Kohaku away from Aidou. Or blast him with some fire. Somehow Kohaku seemed to know when his attention was back on him, because he raised his head with an expectant tightness in his face.

"Your cousin is still alive," he said calmly, "But barely-"

Nori let out a long rustling sigh, folding his arms in a way that betrayed his impatience, "Don't lie to him. He is _very_ close to death-"

"**Shut up**,"

Again, the terrifying voice tore out of Kain's belly like a bat out of hell – uncontrollable and shaking with horror.

"Shut up," he repeated, softening his raw throat to mellow the words. He shot Takuma a desperate look, "If you have nothing good to contribute, don't say anything at all!"

"I am telling you _the truth_," Nori said slowly, each word enunciated harshly, "I don't care if it isn't 'good'. You need to know it,"

"Alright, alright," a much milder voice chimed, and Takuma's arm shot out, catching his shoulder before he was able to move away, "It's okay," he insisted, dragging Kain down again, "Trust me. Listen to them – they have a solution,"

Reluctantly, he nodded and turned his attention back to the Purebloods.

Kohaku had his head tilted to the side, thoughtfully, his hand still poised on Aidou's elbow. He twitched slightly towards his father, but then thought better of it, reaching forwards to Kain who – understanding the gesture, placed his hand in his. He was drawn forwards in one smooth movement, swiftly so his body hung forwards and the sickening, dizzying mix of Aidou's blood and the _others'_ clouded his senses.

When he was released, Kain almost reeled back, the smell overpowering and – rich, _fragrant_ – and delicious and _sweet –_

He almost didn't hear what Kohaku said next.

But when he did, and the words actually made _sense_ in his muddled head; the coiling mass in his stomach plummeted like deadweight.

His head snapped up and he just gaped in disbelief. Kohaku sighed, nodding in affirmation and fixing Kain with what could be interpreted as a rather _challenging_ look –

"You heard me: _Bite him_,"

* * *

><p>For anyone who knew the Academy well, the sight of it now would cause them to suck in a harsh breath and stare in blank dismay – just as Zero was, at the moment.<p>

How long ago had it been since he had left it? Weeks? A month? He hadn't been tracking the time, but surely it hadn't been so long between then and now… how could it have changed so much in such a short time? Surely this was a dream, he kept telling himself, and surely this couldn't be Kurosu Academy. Part of Zero refused to believe this was his _home_ in pieces.

Half of the west wing appeared to have collapsed in on itself, and rubble and glass devastated the entire scene. There wasn't a patch of that side left unscathed; in fact, _none_ of the building _at all_ was left untouched. Claw marks scraped up the sides – deep grooves that scarred the brickwork and, when Zero brushed his hands over one mark –

He hissed quietly and Kaname shot him a disapproving look, eyeing the droplets of red beading his fingertips with a disturbing intensity that made unknown hairs on the back of his neck stand upright. "Don't do that," Kaname's voice intoned lowly, flickering an authoritative yet somehow hesitant glance at Zero. He was still wary of bossing him around it seemed.

_Good, _Zero approved silently.

"I know, I know," he sighed, sucking off the blood and watching the wounds slowly close up. He doggedly refused to acknowledge Kaname's obvious attention, and forced himself to only look at the tiny slit in the skin, watching it thread together with the utmost interest until he could finally feel the scorching stare leave him. What a stupid thing to do… touching the jagged edges of the building would cut him and make him _bleed_. But still, he just _had_ to touch it to know that what he was seeing was real.

As they rounded the furthermost corner of the west wing, circling round to the front, they saw that the collapsed roof spilled mostly on the inside. It suddenly struck him that anyone inside – anyone there during the collapse must have been –

"The west side fell around a week ago,"

Zero jumped, so attuned to the deathly silence that Kaito's rumbling voice disrupted it like a ripple in a peaceful lake. Kaname brushed past Zero's elbow, clearly indicating that _he would like it if he could walk faster_. He _was_ walking at a strolling pace to be fair, but seeing the Academy like this sucked all the air out of him, all the energy and resolve he'd had moments ago. It felt like a punch to the stomach that left him hollow inside. Like the floor had escaped from beneath him.

And the silence was eerie.

Shivers couldn't even begin to describe the tremors racing through Zero's heart. It was staggering. He barely contained the gasp at seeing the rest of the damage, and Zero knew that this was only the _outside_. He could only imagine what the inside looked like too –

"Chill," Kaito appeared by his side, a resolute assurance in his stride that strangely comforted Zero. Kaito planted a heavy hand on his shoulder (directly on a throbbing bruise, but Zero appreciated the sentiment nonetheless), "We've already moved the students to the basement _way_ before this got damaged so bad, so _relax,_" he scratched his nose absently, "It was a menace getting them up to the main building,"

Zero's eyes bugged, "What – you got them to cross the lake? On the bridges? Are you – what were you thinking?" That was…_ reckless _to say the least. The bridges were exposed on all sides!

Kaito nodded slowly, "Tell me about it,"

"No. _You_ tell _me_ about it,"

"Most of the kids were still in the main building during that attack. You see – it happened at the end of the day, between evening and night,"

"The switch-over?" Zero could imagine all the Day students scrambling in wait of the Night class, desperate to see their rivals/crushes/idols. All of them. In the exposed courtyard of the conjoining bridges.

"Yeah, the switch-over. The bloody nuisances were all _waiting around_ for the Vamps. In this case it was lucky they did – it kept them close the main building. By the time most of the Night class got into the gates, the Es started showing up. Then we just had to round up the kids while getting them down into the basement and blocking off the Es. Piece of cake," he drawled. "Now they're all safe and sound insid– fuck, it's **you**!"

Zero whirled around, finding Kaname already with his hand wrapped firmly around the thin wrist of a small child. The young girl was clutching the end of a ridiculously massive wooden beam (that was around three times her size) – probably a joist from the collapsed floor above. From the looks of it, she was likely a first year – tiny and… and _Human_, it seemed, since she was staring up at Kaname in unconcealed awe and didn't appear to be aware that she was almost drooling. Vampire first years would be just as awed of him, but they would have the sense and decorum to _not_ behave like they'd just seen their deity. They'd probably have a _little_ more self-restraint, or even subtlety.

Nothing like this little girl. Snuggling against Kaname like a kitten.

"_**How**_ did you get out again? You're meant to be downstairs!"

Zero's mouth twitched at seeing this kid. It took him back to the days of being one half of the Cross Academy Guardian Duo, where he had to deal with these _crazy_ fan-girls day-in, day-out (he shuddered at the memory of a day when he'd discovered he had his _own_ fan-girls too). She shook herself out of her daze and twisted her skinny limb around, grasping Kaname's wrist in a double-lock and twining herself around his arm. Zero almost snorted, seeing her batting her eyelashes and smiling widely, transformed into a meek and demure angel, humbled and tamed by the presence of her _god_ –

"Yua, get _your butt_ here, **right now**!" Kaito hollered, his face turning redder by the second.

Surprisingly, the darling sweet girl twisted around, instantly revealing her less-than-angelic self once more as she levelled him with a slow, highly dubious look. She "hmph"-ed and flicked her hair over her shoulder, turning back to Kaname with an exaggerated pout.

Kaito growled, rolling his eyes at Zero, "This has happened _far_ too many times," he explained, storming across the short distance to where Yua was practically performing a mating-dance to a bemused Kaname. The Hunter caught one of her arms and swung her round to face him, leaning down to her level. "Brat," he started, catching her wandering gaze with a firm grip on her chin, "What are you doing here? We've told you many times before that you are _not_ to leave the hide-out,"

Yua pouted again, this time with a worried gleam in her eyes that had Kaname bending down beside her too in an instant. As he rested a supportive hand on her shoulder Zero actually had to smother his chuckles with his hand at the besotted look she shot Kaname. She was practically melting in bliss.

When she recovered, she retorted, "We're running out of wood," folding her arms proudly, "And Haya-kun was getting hungry, so _I_ decided to come out and get some-"

"Where did you get out from?" Kaito interrupted, his voice suddenly hard and grave. Yua's confidence shattered like the broken windows around them, revealing her true frightened self. Kaito however only shook her urgently, "_Every time_ we fix one of your little escape 'gaps in the wall' another one appears! Where did you keep getting out from? Can people see it from the outside? Can _They_ get in-"

"No, _no_!" she insisted, eyes wide and sincere, "It's only a small gap. Tiny. Near the ceiling – you can barely see it. Only I can fit through. Gozo-kuna and Taka-chan boosted me up onto one of the bookshelves-"

"If you can see the gap from the inside, it's likely you can see from the outside too," Kaito reprimanded sharply, Yua flinched, "We've _told _you before, but you never listen," he snapped, his voice rising again. It was clear that he was beyond being merely angry anymore, "_This __**isn't**__ a game, Yua! _You think it's funny every time you get out, but it's _**not**_! You could get hurt. We've _told_ you to stay in the basements countless times before. You are putting yourself in danger. Do you ever even stop to think? There are _dangerous people _out _here-"_

"Kaito-san," Kaname said quickly, "You're scaring her," Zero noticed then that Kaname had put a restraining hand on Kaito's shoulder, which he held tightly. Kaito stepped back instantly, releasing her and shaking off Kaname roughly. Zero watched in fascination as the girl stumbled as soon as Kaito released her, her head dipping in shame. It was evident that, despite her spunky, rebellious first impressions, she respected Kaito immensely. Seeing this reminded Zero that Kaito was one of the school's favourite "student-teachers", but his younger age allowed him to bond closer with the students. The fact that Kaito was so furious with Yua for putting herself in danger was enough evidence to show how much he cared about them too. He was more of an older brother to them than anything.

Yua shuffled her feet and rearranged her skirts anxiously, biting her lip. Even when Kaname shot her an encouraging smile, her eyes fell back on Kaito apprehensively, waiting.

After only a few seconds she shuffled forwards, reaching with one hand for the hem of Kaito's coat, "Kaito-nii-san, I'm sorry…" her voice was timid and thoroughly apologetic, and it made Zero's heart throb in sympathy when he saw Kaito move out of reach. He had always been obstinate in his punishments.

He ignored her, and when it was clear that he wasn't going to speak anytime soon, Zero decided it as time to step in.

"Yua-chan, do you know if the others are alright?" he asked softly, lowering himself onto his knees like Kaname and Kaito had done to be able to catch her shifty gaze.

She shot him a brave, grateful but watery smile (probably amazed to see the famously terrifying Guardian behaving so _nicely_), "Yes, Kiryuu-kun, they're fine. Only…" she glanced at Kaito nervously, "I'm not lying We really _are_ running low on wood. And food. And Haya-kun gets scared in the dark. The fires are burning out and it gets really cold down there, so I had to get some," she gestured at the fallen debris around them, "Yagari-sensei checks on us a lot, and he brings some things, but he's only one person, and…" Zero nodded, looking around at the rubble. It was a dangerous place for a child like Yua to even attempt to walk among the ruins – broken glass, sharp rocks and (rather few) splintered wooden beams littered the floor. All these were asking for broken bones and other wounds. _Blood-spilling injuries_, Zero thought grimly. Yua was lucky – she'd somehow managed to come out of it without a scratch.

"If you're running low on supplies you tell _Yori-san_ or another older student, or even – _even_ a teacher, _dumbass_-"

"Kaito-san!" Kaname snapped irritably, amazing Zero with a similarly rapid transformation from supportive (to Yua) to fierce and protective, back to gentle again when he turned back to Yua.

"I _tried_!" Yua protested, blazing at Kaito with narrowed eyes, "But Yori-nee-chan is having a hard time with the others. She's busy _all the time _and she's really tired. The teachers… some of them – most of them ran off last week. (Kaito cursed loudly, paying no attention to Kaname's infuriated hiss) The ones that are still there are also busy with the little ones. I was just trying to _h-help_," she sniffled, abruptly ducking into Kaname's chest. He recovered from surprise quickly, wrapping the little girl in a comforting embrace and simultaneously sending Kaito a withering _look_.

"We must get her back to the basement," Kaname announced, rising slowly with Yua in his arms. Zero was amused to see how she had curled herself around him tightly, though her drooping limbs showed that she had most likely fallen asleep after all the stress, _in her hero's arms._

"Tell me something I _don't_ know," Kaito remarked brusquely. With Yua asleep he allowed himself to pay a shred of interest in her again. Zero felt the wave of sympathy for Yua again. Even though he was an older brother himself, he had been similarly placed with Kaito as his "honorary-older-brother" and knew the tactics he used to make you feel disappointed with yourself – they were tactics often used as a form of punishment when he'd been bad. No punishment is more effective than being made to hate yourself. The guilt-trips and cold-shoulders that _wore you down to a crying mess…_

Zero was brought back from his reminiscing when he saw Yua being levitated over to Kaito. He shot a raised-eyebrow at Kaname, finding the Pureblood with his eyes fixed on Kaito. The Hunter had jumped in shock, seeing the girl floating over to him. Zero could tell that Kaito was reluctant to give in to the punishment. Kaito was battling with his stubborn anger, when it was blatantly obvious to them all how much he cared for this little girl and wanted to hold her. To protect her.

Finally, Kaito gave a little defeated huff and grabbed Yua out of the air, cradling her against himself with a gentleness that made Zero smirk.

Kaito watched her sleeping for a few seconds contentedly before he broke the silence.

"I didn't know they were running out of supplies," he said solemnly, "But it's obvious that they can't stay here much longer,"

"That's what we're here for," Kaname said encouragingly, "To get them out,"

Kaito nodded, ducking his head to bump heads with Yua gently.

"I've made her sleep for your convenience," Kaname explained when Kaito made a distressed noise upon not seeing her wake or otherwise react, "Until you reach the basement,"

Kaito stilled and Zero tensed, knowing that his fellow Hunter wasn't going to be _happy_ that Kaname was using his Pureblood "tricks" on a student.

But surprisingly, he quickly shrugged, casting Yua's sleeping face a wry grin, "Thank goodness,"

_Thank goodness indeed,_ Zero thought gratefully – disaster averted. Glancing at Kaname, he wondered how much more of Kaito he could take before he lost it.

"Kaito-san," Kaname called, drawing the Hunter's attention. He shared a brief glance with Kaito that had him nodding in understanding before Zero could grasp what was being exchanged –

"East-most vault, right?" Kaito shifted Yua carefully in his arms.

Kaname nodded, "Gather them there," he said, "And take Airi-san with you," he instructed his staff, who responded with a well-trained bow. Kaito groaned with displeasure, darting a look to the left to see Airi looking equally disgusted. "We will join you in half an hour at the most,"

"How will we know it's you?"

"You'll know," was all Kaname said, ever mysterious. Kaito scoffed, sneering slightly, but without any real malice. Airi had already turned the other way, impatient to carry out her King's orders. She'd also scooped up a bundle of broken wood.

Kaito hesitated however, narrowing his eyes down at his cargo thoughtfully.

"Y'know," he muttered, brushing a braid off Yua's forehead, "I wonder _where_ she got out from. It's actually kinda helpful having her find these little gaps that no one knows about. Otherwise we'd never know we didn't know about it, if you get what I'm saying. If there's a gap in a random corner which we aren't aware of, we won't be guarding it which makes us vulnerable," he lifted his head urgently, "It only takes a small crack in the wall for the dam to burst,"

"Have you put up charms?" Zero asked.

Kaito snorted, "_Have we put up charms?_ you say. I bet sensei has put up every charm under the _sun_! But if he's missed that _one_ space, who _knows_ what could come in?" he sighed wearily, tenderly brushing his lips over Yua's head, "Technically, she shouldn't have been able to get _out_. _That's_ the reason why I'm so worried,"

This knowledge made Zero's blood run cold. It was _true_, now that he thought about it. Defensive charms and shields were meant to be all-encompassing of the protected area. It was like putting mosquito-netting around a tent. If even a small patch of the netting is damaged, the tiniest gap opened – it exposed the inside completely. It rendered the defence useless. The charms and shields Yagari had probably used would be to hide the schoolchildren away from detection. With the building in such ruin, the ground floor was open and exposed, and with the basement just below it, they needed much more protection to not be found.

It was worrying, to say the least, what may happen without those shields effectively in place.

Even more worrying was these _gaps_. Charms and shields are temporary, despite being strong. Yagari was the one who most likely renewed them every time he visited, but if he didn't know places he was leaving out, or where the shields ran thinner and gaps broke more easily –

"I don't even think it's possible that sensei missed a place or forgot a little corner, so I _really _don't know how she's managing to get out,"

"Remember who this building first belonged to," Kaname spoke smoothly. Both Hunters stared him down with identically blank expressions –

Kaname sighed wearily, "It once belonged to _us_ – my family – the Kurans. It was our property, therefore, as it is a Vampire building, at its core, it will naturally _always_ to an extent, reject Hunter charms and spells effectively,"

"The _fuck_?" Kaito laughed humourlessly. "What the fuck was Headmaster thinking, choosing an old Vampire building for his school?"

Kaname's voice was so low now that it even made Kaito back off as he spoke: "It was a gift," he said sombrely, "From my… from my mother to Kaien-san,"

Kaito hummed as acknowledgement, and amazed Zero again when he backed off tactfully, shutting his trap for once when he could see Kaname reluctant to indulge them in any more of his life.

"Kaito-san…"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm coming," Kaito held up his hand as a farewell, turning to follow Airi's impatient call. "Take care," he muttered. Zero noticed how his eyes lingered on Kaname, almost threateningly, and then flickering last to him. A questioning glance. A warning glance.

They watched the three hurry away, and then Zero found his wrist being taken by Kaname _again_. He was barely given a second to protest before Kaname began dragging him away, over the feet-long rubble that marked part of the missing outside wall, into a darkened room. Their movements made the dust lift into billowing clouds, illuminated by the chilly moonlight.

"We're going to get Headmaster, right?" Zero clarified, receiving a nod. "And they are…?"

"Somewhere secret," Kaname – did he just wink at him? – "Somewhere safe,"

After a while of being dragged over the remains of what could have once been a common room, Zero started to appreciate the firm hold on his wrist. Otherwise he would have never been able to tear himself away from the abject horror paralysing him every time he saw the claw marks in the walls where Es had climbed up them, the obliterated remnants of three lounge chairs, gaping cracks in the floor –

He honestly felt numb now. Distant.

This was his home.

That was the hardest thing to comprehend. _This was his home_. This was the place where he'd first been brought to after his family's massacre. This was the place where his life began again, where he'd repaired himself from his broken past and lived on ever since then.

He wasn't exactly going to _cry_ over a _building_, but it _did _hit him hard and make him think. Up till then he'd never realised the significance of the Academy to him. It was really a starting-point for him at many points in his life, many of which he couldn't even remember very well because they were so _insignificant_. While other kids had their own homes and families to go to in the holidays, he had the school, and Headmaster, and at one point Yuuki too.

Now, Zero realised, this was his final year of education. After this year, if he completed it (he'd missed so much of the past two years already, he wouldn't be surprised if he was made to retake it), he'd have no reason to stay at the Academy. Headmaster would stay there. Yuuki would be graduating too, but as a princess she would return to her Castle.

Where would _he_ go?

Seeing the Academy like this shook him to his core, making him really see for the first time how much this place was to him. He could not return here.

Even if this was his home.

It _was –_

"…Zero,"

"Hmm?" he blinked, surprised to find that they were again outside the building, this time at the back of it, at the south wing. They had walked right through the building, from front to back, he realised. Kaname was now standing in front of him, a concerned frown on his face, accentuated magnificently by the moonlight.

"You were walking strangely. I brought us out here for some fresh air," he explained. Zero looked down, seeing his clothes covered in dust and other streaks of dark grime. He stank.

"Oh," he said quietly, forcing a stuttering chuckle out of his throat, "It's just all this movement," he babbled, "Sloshing the soup around my stomach and making me feel a little bit sick…" he wasn't _lying_ completely, but the sickness mostly derived from the nauseating emptiness he now felt in his stomach. It felt like there was a void in his stomach. The soup didn't even exist there anymore.

Kaname hummed sympathetically, but it was the next movement that caught Zero's attention. He watched suspiciously as Kaname's hand travelled across the space between, accidentally brushing his knuckles against his jaw and sending a jolt of static down his spine, to land on his shoulder.

"It will be repaired first," he said softly.

Zero blinked again, blankly, "What?"

"Even before the Castle, and what damage may come to it in the future," Kaname continued, gesturing to the Academy, "The Academy will be repaired first, I promise you,"

"Don't," Zero found himself saying automatically, "It doesn't matter," he tried to convince himself. Even to his own ears his words sounded fake. Hollow.

Kaname didn't look fooled, but he simply gave Zero's shoulder a squeeze before leaning back, "It matters to you," was all he said, before wrapping his long fingers around Zero's wrist and continuing to lead them away. Zero's eyes drifted gradually upwards to building they were approaching, and he couldn't help but compare its appearance to that of an upturned crab. The jagged limbs of the few standing walls stood stark against the blackness of the night, curling bizarrely, the light-coloured stone shining bright in the moonshine. They were attached to the central belly of the building, which was the most intact section, only suffering marginal injury, the main damage being to the two huge windows, which now resembled the sunken eye sockets in a misshapen skull.

_Somewhere secret. Somewhere safe_. These words rolled around Zero's head over and over again. There had always been rumours of secret passages between the wall cavities of the Academy – it was a very old building after all. Some of the younger kids even measured the widths of the walls, just to see if they could fit between them. These rumours were ones that had never been considered by Zero, up till now. He tugged on Kaname's hand, only to gain his attention.

Now, with Kaname's raspberry eyes (they looked different in this light, he noticed) directed at him, Zero realised how stupid his question was. But who was he to back down from a challenge? (even if that challenge was at the expense of his own embarrassment) "…secret passage?" he managed to ask, wincing at how eager his voice sounded.

But Kaname's only smiled wanly, "Yes,"

And that was all he needed to say.

"Cool," Zero felt a sudden rush of excitement for what he might – no, what he _would_ see. Secret passages. _Cool. _It had always been a thrilling daydream, to imagine slipping away where no one knew where you were, to be in a _secret_ space. The thrill staved off the bitter loneliness from before quite well, so he chose to maintain it.

Kaname's smile warmed a few degrees at Zero's enthusiasm, but there was still an evident amount of unease in his expression. He wondered what was worrying Kaname still – despite the obvious things: _the war, the Weapon, Rido, danger_ etc.

And then Zero's mind suddenly slipped into focus, and he remembered that they were going _to get the Headmaster._

The Headmaster, who was Rido's _target_.

Why? Why was that?

Just as he opened his mouth to ask, Kaname's grip tightened to painful extremes, like a vice grip – he could feel the fine bones in his wrist quiver. A yelp was halted in his throat by a hand slamming his mouth shut, and he was huddled against a piece of wall, eyes darting around frantically to see what Kaname saw. Ears straining to hear what he heard.

Abruptly, he was released, and Kaname straightened out, an aggravated sigh hissing through his teeth. He ran a hand through his hair irritably, "That was _entirely_ unnecessary," he snapped, stepping around the blind-spot of the wall to speak to their intruder. He threw his hands up in the air, but Zero could see the slight dip between Kaname's shoulders – relaxed – which told them that this was no enemy. Kaname actually looked slightly _relieved_ to see whoever this was.

"Do you enjoy ambushing people for no good reason? For god's sake, _put it down_," Kaname snapped in exasperation.

Before he could scramble up to his own feet to see what all the commotion was about, Zero heard a deep, oddly familiar chuckle. And when he looked up next, he saw something that made his heart stop.

Barely peeking into view from behind the wall – the gleam off the side of a much beloved muzzle –

"_Bloody Rose?"_

His delighted exclamation drew more low laughter from around the wall, and when he stood to see who it was, he gasped –

_"Sensei!"_

* * *

><p>"Are you crazy?" Kain squawked, "I think he's lost <em>enough<em> blood, don't you think?" his voice rose higher at the end in disbelief. "Doing… doing _t-that _to him will kill him!"

"You don't need to drain him _dry_," Kohaku drawled, "All you need to do is Bite him,"

It was difficult to take in – the command: to Bite Aidou. To _Bite_ Aidou. It sounded totally bizarre to him. And it was also the off-hand way Kohaku had asked him to do it. This was definitely _not_ "off-hand" business. This could be compared to Vampires talking about… _sex_. Or marriage. Or both. Something _private_. Something which shouldn't be spoken in public. With strangers.

He was panicking.

Visibly panicking.

Kohaku was asking him – no, _telling_ him, that his bright idea was for him to Bite Aidou and Bond with him.

Fucking _**Bond**_ with him.

"Biting him will do nothing,"

Kain's head whipped round to Nori. The Lord was looking immensely pissed off, arms folded and glowering into nothingness. He sneered, "I won't encourage you to do this, Kain-san, because from my own experience and know-how on Bonding this is a bad idea. A Bond _won't_ save him. Bonding is not something to be decided in such a spur-of-the-moment. It is a _life decision_. One you should not make lightly, and one that I don't approve being made by someone as young as yourself,"

"**I** have Bonded to someone, and I am just as young!" Takuma piped up, shooting Nori a scornful look. Kain blinked. Takuma was Bonded? To whom? When? Takuma turned to him before he could ask, "Kain, Bonding to Aidou is your _only_ option, so I suggest you think about it seriously. If this is the _only _thing that may save Aidou-"

"It _will not save him!_" Nori exclaimed loudly, waving his hands emphatically, "Don't feed him lies-!"

"Don't reject a possible solution just because you're biased, otou-san," Kohaku fought back snippily, "And let us _explain_ to him first, what the consequences are from Bonding,"

"I know what 'the consequences' are from Bonding – an eternal _Bond_, obviously,"

"Yes, but it's the Bonding of two _lives _which is what we're specifically talking about," Takuma emphasised, muttering to Kohaku to continue.

Kohaku managed somehow to locate Kain's other hand, and he folded it over his first. "Bonding requires two Bites, and since you will initiating the Bond, your life will support Aidou's until he Bites you too, whereupon your lives will be fully intertwined and dependent on each other. Your Biting him will not mean that he will not die, or that he will be saved," he said gravely, "_But_ – think of a Bond like a harness, if you will for my metaphor. Imagine you and Aidou are climbing a rock-face. The harness is the Bond connecting you two. Right now _you_ are the stronger climber with very little chance of falling down, but Aidou would be hanging onto the rock-face for dear life. The harness will catch him – your own weight preventing him from 'falling', _should _he fall,"

All Kain could extract from that metaphor was them in mountain-climbing gear, but he got the _gist_ of what he was trying to say.

"So basically… Bonding with Aidou only prolongs the time till he dies?" he asked bleakly.

Kohaku half-shrugged, "Not really. Bonding gives Aidou a _chance_ of surviving because he will have _your_ life-force to hold onto. It won't affect _you_, but for him – every breath and heartbeat from you will be shared between you. This will stabilise him till we reach Kuran Castle, where he can be treated,"

"But he'll still die?" Kain asked quietly, "He still can die?"

"Yes," Nori spoke, "He can. He most probably _will_ die by the time we reach the Castle, and when he does, you will feel nothing-"

"_You're not helping_," Kain spat at him, completely uncaring that he was speaking with a Pureblood at the moment. He touched Kohaku's wrist urgently.

Kohaku's face twisted, "What he said is true, but _I _believe it is worth the try, at least. It's true that with an incomplete half-Bond the Initiator will not die if the one he has Bitten dies,"

Kain's face paled, "Are you saying that if Aidou dies, I won't?"

He received a small nod, "His life and health depend on you, but that dependency is not yet equally reciprocated. Usually incomplete Bonds are quite weak. The harness' strength is dependent on how well your Bond can fix itself, and how willing he is to hold onto it. What I'm saying is: there are risks, Kain-san," Kohaku stressed, "But not to _you_. With no other options on _his _plate, what could you lose from trying?"

"Lots of things," Nori cut in, "Your life and freedom, should he survive, will be chained to his. What if later he rejects you – _blames_ you for taking his life into your own hands? He will have the urge to complete the Bond, soon after he wakes, but will he _want _to? Will you?"

"We'll worry about that later," Takuma said hastily, catching Kain's chin and staring at him quite intensely, "_You_ must decide now, Kain. No one else can do this for you. Will you do it?"

No one else could do this. Kohaku and Nori were both unable to do anything, Kain assumed, without being detected, since they were likely to be under Rido's watchful eye. Takuma was already Bonded, apparently. Boy… well. He just _couldn't_ do anything.

It was just _him_. He was the only option.

He felt fear grip him, but it was more of a jittery sensation, akin to waiting to ride a huge rollercoaster. His stomach was certainly doing the loop-de-loops which were making him feel slightly sick.

"What's it like?" he asked Takuma apprehensively, even as he slowly moved over, closer to Aidou. He lifted Aidou's head into his lap, turning his body so he was facing up. "Biting someone," he added quickly. He had never Bitten _anyone_, with the exception of his mother and father, but that was when he was a child. They were his own blood though, so the Bites were ineffective. Aidou was his blood too, so maybe… would this even work?

Takuma smiled slightly, a little too brightly which betrayed his own nervousness.

"It's great," he sighed, "But _intoxicating_. Stay focused. For you – who most likely have never drunk blood – this will be unlike anything you've tasted before. Especially since it's _his _blood," Takuma smirked slightly, to Kain's utter bewilderment, "And you will want to drink more and _more_, but you'll have to stop. Control yourself. Never lose it," he tapped his temple: _don't lose your head_.

Kain sighed heavily, his pulse thrumming loudly in his ears, coursing through his blood vessels – ironically feeling like his own blood was rushing to meet Aidou's, to welcome it. Heat was building up inside him from the exhilaration of his quickening heartbeat, staining his cheeks bright red when he remembered that he was about to _Bite_Aidou, in front of people –

"Could you, maybe, turn away, please?"

Takuma graciously turned the Hanadagi's so they were facing away – even if they couldn't see anything – Kohaku's patient but intrigued stare coupled with Nori's disapproving glower were both distracting. Kain watched Takuma duck over to sit next to Boy, checking his vitals again and freezing momentarily.

His blonde head popped up, catching Kain's eye instantly, "_Hurry up_, Kain," Takuma hissed, motioning towards Boy.

Kain nodded, finally lowering himself and lifting Aidou up so he was balanced in his lap. His head lolled forwards, and then with a small jostle to the left it swung around, exposing his pink-stained neck. Kain dipped his head into the bony curve of his neck, lips curling at the stink of the other bloods smeared over Aidou's skin. He wiped them away with some spit, hoping Aidou would never find out he'd done so (even though he had often spit-rubbed Aidou's messy face clean when he was eating like a savage), and then – _then_ a plume of Aidou's blood – fresh – sang out through his skin.

A flicker in his surroundings, the tiniest change in his vision told him his eyes were now glowing red – feeding eyes. And now his gaze was centred on the smallest patch of creamy skin, just covering Aidou's jugular. The pulse was barely there, but still beating. Kain found the distance between his lips and Aidou's neck shrinking without him even realising it much, and soon enough he had the tips of his fangs accurately poised over the warm, fragrant flesh. So sweet. So soft.

Without further preamble, his fangs sunk into Aidou's skin.

The surge of warmth, the depth of sweet, sweet flavours and beautiful scent of blood sent Kain's mind reeling into the back of his head.

He would later be unable to say what transpired next, drunk as he was, on blood. Sweet blood…


	85. We Dared Hope To See Again

**Author's Note:**

**My apologies for being so tardy in the updates. I LIED AGAIN TT_TT **

**Thank you for being patient! Thank you for staying with me! This has been by far the longest gap between chapters, hasn't it? Mou...**

**I promised I would update faster, but unfortunately work has been piling up and keeping me busy. ON the better note - all Uni interviews are done. Dunno if they went okay, but they're done... **

**Things may be getting confusing again, but will be cleared up in the next chapter, so... don't worry. **

**Plus, how many of you would hate there to be a death on the "good side"? How many of you would like the additional drama this would create?**

**Feedback please! **

**Oh, and MERRY CHRISTMAS! I want to wish you all a wonderful holiday! Eat lots of yummy bad stuff! Par-tay~! ^^**

* * *

><p><strong>"True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it be lost." <strong>

**_~ Charles Caleb Colton _**

**"We cannot tell the precise moment when friendship is formed. As in filling a vessel drop by drop, there is at last a drop which makes it run over. So in a series of kindnesses there is, at last, one which makes the heart run over."**

_**~ James Boswell**_

* * *

><p>"Found that in the Moon Dorms," Yagari explained, handing him the gun; then turning to lead them up the battered staircase to the first floor. Zero hummed disinterestedly, more consumed in admiring the weight of his gun in his hand than the fact that it was only on a few hand-spans' width of stable staircase that he was walking. Every time he neared the edge of the stable path, the stone would crumble away, shattering into the smithereens on impact with the ground far below them.<p>

The sky, he could see from the lack of ceiling, was a cold grey colour, with a few splashes of peach near the horizon to the east, where the sun was peeking. Dawn. The fact that a whole night had passed so quickly was registered faintly. This was the time when Vampires should be asleep. They were _night_-walkers… Zero chanced a fleeting glance behind him. Kaname was also staring off to the east, blank-faced but with oddly pensive eyes, which shone reflective like polished pearls glossed over in the dawning light. Their eyes met, and Zero voiced his concern with a meaningful jerk of his head towards the rising sun. Kaname nodded in understanding, nonetheless he calmly prodded Zero's shoulder-blades to nudge him forwards. Something in the simple way Kaname had responded told Zero that there was a plan forming in the Pureblood's brilliant, yet inscrutable mind – a plan that almost certainly involved _him_, but he knew he would not be told of it until Kaname had decided the timing was right.

Zero flicked his wrist, twirling Bloody Rose about his fingers like a pro cowboy, then stilling its motion with his thumb so he could caress the muzzle fondly, the same way someone might stroke… a _cat _perhaps. Indeed, when he turned to give Yagari a thankful grin, he was met with an expression one might make when facing a crazy person. A crazy person holding a _gun_.

Yagari opened his mouth to berate him, but then thought better of it, choosing to narrow his visible eye and only comment on it, "I know Hunters love their guns, but…" he twitched abruptly.

Zero shrugged, "I've missed her," the words slipped out before he could stop them. It was after speaking that he realised he had referred to the gun as a person only added to the fact that he was really starting to look like he was _crazy_.

At this point Yagari must have found him too weird to deal with, since he only gave Zero a small incoherent mumble and a shake of his head (which looked more like a shudder) before striding way ahead of him, to escape him and his freaky fanatical gun-worship. Zero knew that he was acting odd, but as he admired his Bloody Rose, he realised how much he really _had_ missed her. She was a comforting weight in his hand, curled loosely in his fingers. Amidst the chaos of recent times, particularly in the past hour, and the life-shaking experience of finding his home destroyed, Bloody Rose provided him a comfort he couldn't bring himself to contain.

He didn't care if he _looked_ crazy, stroking his gun obsessively. This was a piece of him. A part of him. It mattered to him just as much as his hands, the nose on his face or his own two feet.

It was vital. How he'd coped so long without it, he couldn't say.

And, this was the first time in what felt like a _long _time, that Zero felt _strong_ again. Independent – like he could actually protect himself again. It was with Bloody Rose in his hand that Zero was reminded of his strengths and talents as a good fighter, his duty as a soldier, his skills and birthright as a _Hunter_.

Somehow, during the past few weeks of commotion, he had forgotten… all of these aspects of _himself_. He couldn't suppress the sudden flare of anger he felt. He **hated** himself for being so weak recently. For having to depend on others (of Kaname) for protection, when before _he_ had always been able to ensure his _own_ safety. This wasn't what he was used to. This wasn't what he wanted. This wasn't who he _was_, to be so helpless.

He knew it was to no fault of anyone, or himself really, that he had been so weak. He could only blame the cursed blood disease that was gradually deteriorating his body, which could be put to blame. Taut muscle acquired from years of training was softening and melting quickly into his bones, leaving his limbs even more angular and narrow – his long, slender physique now looked unhealthily skinny from rapid weight loss; previously pale skin was now almost completely sallow and tattooed with a variety of yellow and purple bruises. Day by day he was losing more of himself to the disease, quite literally. There was much less of him than there was before.

All in all, Zero _knew_ how unfit he was. He understood that physical combat was _not_ a viable option, neither was vigorous activity – which aggravated his joints if he moved about too quickly. He was like an old man, for Christ's sake! (And he wasn't even really a legal adult yet) Aching joints, tiredness, dulled senses…

The hammer clicked under his thumb, and he was brought back to the present with the vague sound of someone clearing their throat. He was still partially lost in thought however, thinking – even if he _couldn't _move about freely anymore, even if he couldn't beat bad guys up with his fists… with Bloody Rose, the _only_ movement he really needed was one finger on the trigger –

"Get a move on, _children_!" Yagari's rusty voice called, bringing him back to the present. He realised that, caught in his musings, he had lagged behind a good fifteen feet. Kaname's hand was still lightly prodding at his shoulder-blades too, gently urging him forwards. They caught up with Yagari, and he continued leading them down the corridor, to the right, past the library, the study rooms – "I should warn you before we get there that… the old man doesn't look too great right now,"

Zero's forehead creased in confusion, "Sick?"

Yagari tilted his head to the side in a minute shrug, "You could say that,"

_You could say that_, what did that mean? Zero shot his sensei a '_care to explain that further_?' look which caused him to release a heavy sigh. A troubled sigh, which made Zero frown even more.

"Look," Yagari said, kicking a football-sized stone out of the way to smash into a broken chair. He adjusted his hat as he regarded his student carefully, "All I'm gonna say is I want you to be _careful_ around him. Got that? He's in a pretty bad state, so I don't want any of your crap making him worse,"

"What 'crap', exactly?"

"Just behave. Smile. Be nice, you know – call him 'Papa', or whatever. I dunno – do whatever you think will cheer him up,"

Yagari had just listed everything _opposite_ to what Zero usually did, which made him cringe. His nose scrunched up at the mere thought of calling _him_ 'Papa'. The Headmaster's constant obsession with getting Zero (and Yuuki, at one point) to refer to him as his _father_… **annoyed** him, but he schooled his expression back to neutral stoic.

"So, what happened to him?"

"He was attacked – well, he's _been_ attacked. Again and again," his sensei said quietly, and by the tensing of his posture, Zero understood that Yagari was getting angry at himself, "The Es are getting clever. They come in well-planned units, attacking from all sides but switching randomly, so we don't know which side we should expect them next. They used this strategy to distract us and break our formation apart, and at least one unit managed to get past us to the Headmaster," here, Yagari's voice dropped so low and gravelly that Zero had to stagger faster towards his sensei to hear him, "The latest attack was the worst… I dunno, maybe we took our eyes off him for, a second? Next thing I knew, he was covered in them – we couldn't see him in the pile-up at all. And they managed to _really _tear him up… he lost a lot of blood, and got a bad infection from it too… He's getting _old_, Zero…" _his body is becoming frailer. I'm worried about his health. He's dangerously close to… he's in grave danger._ All of these things were only implied, but at the same time, blaringly obvious. This ominous warning caused Zero's skin to prickle into gooseflesh.

"When was this latest attack?"

Kaname's voice made Zero jump in surprise, breaking the rather unstable silence.

"Last week," Yagari answered, causing Zero to blanch aghast. A _week_? The Headmaster had been sick for a whole _week_? He couldn't remember seeing the Headmaster sick for even a _day_, let alone a week. Heck, he couldn't ever remember seeing him sick _at all. _That he was sick to this extent shocked Zero.

This was really serious. And Yagari was really worried, which meant there was _definitely _reason to worry.

It made him anxious too. Zero's traitorous mind began to wander into horrid scenarios, imagining his Headmaster waxy and ashen-faced, lying corpse-like on a bed and utterly unresponsive –

"Kid, calm down,"

Zero looked up to see Yagari. Again he hadn't noticed someone placing a hand on him. Yagari's hand was a solid weight on his shoulder. For a second he wondered why his sensei was shaking him, and then he realised – _he_ was the one trembling like a leaf caught in a blizzard, and Yagari was trying to hold him still.

"You're not going in there like that. I won't let you," he said gruffly, though Zero could hear the uncharacteristic softness to Yagari's voice. His eyes were lowered in understanding, "If _you _get all stressed and freaked out, he'll feel it too. I don't want any more stress to be passed onto him. So, _calm _the hell _down _first,"

Zero nodded, sucking in a deep breath. He squeezed Bloody Rose briefly, then slipping her into the waistband of his pants and wiping his sweaty hands on them. For some reason, _he_ was beginning to feel sick. The anxiety was sickening.

"It's okay to be scared, okay? But just… hide it," Yagari suggested awkwardly, leading Zero over to the back wall of the Headmaster's office. Zero blinked – how had they even got there without him noticing? He wanted to survey the damage to the room, but found himself paralysed by Yagari's sharp stare and clamped hand. From his limited view he could only see the claw marks on the wallpaper, cutting through panelling – the absence of bookshelves on the walls, which had been torn away from their wall-fastened screws. As soon as he spotted blood on a piece of a broken lamp, he decided it was better if he didn't see any more. Headmaster had been here. This was where he was attacked.

That was likely to be _his _blood.

He forced himself to focus on Kaname busily picking at the wall, running his fingers over grooves in the panelling. Yagari's voice chimed in at that moment, taunting him, though not quite unkindly, "You've forgotten where it is, Vampire?"

Kaname's lips pinched but he quickly found whatever he was looking for, since a triumphant huff escaped his nostrils.

"Got it," he muttered, and he twisted a half metre of obscure panelling and pushed forwards sharply. Zero gasped, seeing the planks he had pushed shoot forwards, back into the wall a few inches. For a second he thought Kaname had just blown the wall in (as in – he had pushed through a solid chunk of stone, mortar and whatever the hell else made up a strong wall), but then he saw Kaname grab one side of the planks and drag it across to the other side, revealing that there _was_ no stone wall there in the first place. The planks slid smoothly – a sliding door. And behind them was a secret doorway, leading to a secret passageway.

Kaname ducked his head inside the gap, looking left and right, and then turning to them with a nod, gesturing for them to go in. "I'll go last, so I can shut it,"

Yagari pushd Zero through the gap and stepping in behind him. It was pitch blackness, and only Yagari's hand was there to guide him, through the narrow space of the wall cavity. Zero found his cheek almost grazing the wall, and bumped his nose on it constantly by his blind stumbling (Yagari caught him by the elbow when he tripped, tutting under his breath). But soon enough they reached a point where Zero could feel a change in the air-flow, and in the dimensions of the space around him. He began to get a feeling of his surroundings, and spread his arms out to steady himself on the walls. The narrow passage became wider, but the ceiling dropped dramatically, and there was a foul smell of rot, or mould that pervaded the air.

"There'll be steps," was whispered in his ear, just as his foot fell through what he had expected to be floor. Luckily Zero caught himself on the grooves in the walls, and was caught too by Yagari, so he didn't fall. The steps were steep, and they were leading down –

"Are we going below the Academy?" he exclaimed they would be going _upstairs_, since they had originally been on the first floor. There was an almost audible _whoosh_ of a breeze that flew above him, which he understood as the ceiling vanishing overhead. Though he couldn't see a thing, looking upwards, Zero could tell by the blanket of cold air that fell over him which indicated that there _was_ no ceiling anymore since the heat was rising and escaping away. They were walking through the bare wall cavity now. Only a few wooden beams threaded between the two walls every now and again, for support (which sometimes… Zero unfortunately knocked his head against).

"We're past the ground floor now," Yagari explained, "Approaching underground. We're going to one of the safe-rooms, designed back when Kuran's family owned the building. It's actually located directly below the gardens,"

"Same level as the basement," Kaname added, "Though not connected to it, unfortunately… I guess Headmaster is beside himself at being separated from his students for so long?"

"Yeah. He's driving us crazy,"

Zero's ears pricked up at the word 'us', but when Kaname didn't press for more and Yagari didn't elaborate further, he decided to wait and see who this other person was. Right now he was taken by how different the secret passageways were to what he had imagined as a kid. First of all – they were distinctly much narrower than he had expected. He didn't know how Yagari was managing to cram his bulkier, taller frame in the tight space. Nor Kaname. (Since he would himself was now best described as 'Mr No-Muscle' in appearance, getting through tight spaces was a piece of cake).

Secondly, the air was getting muggier, and he was gasping for breath soon enough. It was like breathing smoke, yet it tasted nastier, like salted water, and slimy with fine dust –

"Cover your nose and mouth. Breathe through your sleeve,"

He followed Kaname's advice, holding his arm up to cover his nose, though it did little good to filter out the smell. Zero leaned heavily on the one wall with his other arm as the other slipped away from him, the passage corridor widening so that Yagari was able to walk beside him rather than behind him, and he was being supported in the last steps to their destination.

At this point, the previous mouldy smell was much stronger and made him want to gag.

Wordlessly, Yagari shifted his student to lean on the wall again, freeing himself so he could knock a special code onto the door, and then, the door was opened.

Zero heard a small gasp behind him, but he was busy blinking away blue spots from the sudden blaze of a rather harsh, halogenic light. The person at the door was someone he didn't recognise – someone he didn't know, though Kaname seemed to know him.

He felt Kaname squeeze past him to greet this person, and watched in confusion at the hearty welcome he in turn received. Kaname drew back with a pleased, yet somehow baffled (and even a little disbelieving) smile, "I don't understand – what are you doing here?"

The other Vampire – a Pureblood, Zero detected belatedly – let loose a smooth chuckle, "Blunt as ever, my friend," he bowed mockingly which made Kaname roll his eyes in exasperated delight, "I simply found the world far too busy to ignore – things are changing rapidly. _Things_ are happening. I thought that now is an important time to get close to the action and get _involved_ – the _War_, Kaname," he drawled with a wink, "Now is the time where men must stand and fight for what they believe in – before the world has fallen to ruin. It was good timing which allowed me to come here from my Manor, upon invitation from our dear Headmaster, and thus I have been here for a good many months,"

"So – _you_, you _chose_ to return to the land of the living, only to then hide away from the world?" Kaname asked in deep amusement, motioning at the darkness that created a visible threshold between him and his friend. "That is quite unlike you," Past the other Pureblood Zero could see that the room he had stepped out of was actually dimly lit, and it reflected off his face like the moon, illuminating his pale skin which appeared to be glowing. It was the sharp contrast between _no_ light at all and _some_ light which had blinded them. A gust of moist air gushed out of the room, uncomfortably warm and rank, (Zero imagined, childishly and spontaneously, for a split second – like a fog – dragon's breath– ) to condense on their skin.

"I will always, _gladly_ choose to 'return to the land of the living', sir! If only for the opportunity to bother Kaien to my heart's content! However, I'm sure you know that he has not been really well enough lately, to humour my frivolity. Alas, I came here a hopeful prankster – full of games and fun, yet found myself immediately demoted to the duty of a humble nurse,"

Kaname's laughter rang through the darkness, and Zero was shaken by how hypnotising the sound was, and how bewitching it sounded. He had even tipped his head back, as though the force of laughing capsized him, and then he wiped his eyes in an uncharacteristic fluster. By the end of it, even he and Yagari were smiling.

His friend had watched him laugh with equal merriment in his eyes, but it faded promptly with Kaname's laughter, and turned suddenly gloomy, "But Kaname… I'll have you know, I'm not…" The Vampire's smile mellowed, somehow drastically managing to age his face by decades, merely by the slightest change in his expression. Zero got the feeling this Pureblood was way older than he might have presumed, "I'm not hiding, Kaname-kun. I cannot … it is difficult – Waking to a world that is so different. Though I spend my time here nursing Kaien, I often find myself joining him, for I am so wearied from working out the machinations of the simplest of these confounded modern-day contraptions. Often I am simply resting,"

It sounded completely bizarre to his own ears, to think that someone who, Zero presumed, had been Asleep for _quite some time_, chose to return to rest soon after Waking. However, Kaname's own bright smile mimicked his friends in its dimming, and his eyes shone in solemn understanding, "I understand. It takes time to re-adjust, does it not?"

Suddenly Zero was reminded that Kaname the Ancestor and _this _Kaname were one in the same. The shared experience of hibernation and Awakening shared between these two Purebloods must be special – comforting – in a world where there are so few Purebloods, and so few who have experienced "_Sleep_", he mused. He must be a very special friend – to be aware Kaname's true identity as the "Original King", to speak of Awakening so casually with Kaname, and to be familiar with him on a level Zero had only seen Kaname otherwise be with Takuma, his dearest friend... so… who _was_ this person…?

The Vampire released a sudden bark of laughter, though it lacked any real humour, "Indeed, it does! This world is so unlike the one I remember. So much that I would be inclined to say they are two different worlds altogether! To this day I still find myself repeatedly… _disheartened_ by the differences,"

Kaname's smile widened blandly and he nodded, "You must try to look for the similarities, my friend," his eyes flickered to Zero once, swiftly turning back to his friend, "Sometimes they are just enough to comfort you, in this alien world," he muttered lowly. His friend's eyes followed his to Zero curiously, meeting Kaname's inquiringly and then darting to the side in apparent contemplation. Kaname cleared his throat and turned to the side so he was properly facing the two Hunters as well, "I suppose introductions are in order," he clapped his friend's shoulder sharply, "Isaya, I'd like you to meet Kiryuu Zero, the Headmaster's _son,_" – the blonde's eyebrows shot up at this (as did Zero's, with a loud snort), and he sent Kaname a wide-eyed look – "Zero," Kaname ignored Isaya and also took hold of Zero's arm lightly, "This is my old friend, Shoto Isaya,"

This made Zero's eyebrows shoot up in equal surprise.

Isaya grinned kindly, "Pleasure to finally meet you, Kiryuu-kun," he held out one hand expectantly.

_Lord __**Shoto Isaya**__? _The legendary last of the Shoto clan? He was a Pureblood, but the lives of the Purebloods of the world were so secretive that it would have been impossible to have guessed correctly who he was. Zero had read books about Isaya. But it seemed that the accounts he had read must have been written a long time ago. They must be years and years out of date, since from what he had read, Isaya was supposed to be in a deep, deep self-induced Slumber.

Accounts about Isaya stated that he was one of the oldest Purebloods around, at about _two-thousand_ years old (admittedly young, when he thought on how old _Kaname_ was); and that half a century ago he had chosen Sleep over living in a world without his beloved wife. Despite being so old, there was otherwise precious little written about Isaya, and he remained a great mystery, like most of the Purebloods always would. The past century had seen a huge proportion of Purebloods in sinking into spontaneous hibernation, out of despair or seeking sanctuary – first the Hanadagi's entire family, and then Isaya.

Zero shot a disbelieving look at Yagari – _Is he really-? –_ who nodded in answer – _I didn't believe it either (nor was I happy about it) – _and then, he remembered Isaya's proffered hand and clumsily accepted it (thankfully he didn't flinch at the clamminess of said hand, slick with sweat – did Purebloods sweat? He thought they couldn't…). He had heard about this Pureblood's wisdom and uncharacteristic cheeriness, and mentally attributed the latter to the eccentricity associated with being Pureblooded and _ancient_; the former, he had yet to see.

"Vampire,"

Isaya raised his head to look at Yagari's borderline-seriously-ticked-off expression over Zero's head, his lip quirking minutely and then stretching into a partly mischievous smile. "Hmm?"

"Not that I want to disrupt this _delightful chat_, but if you could step aside, that would be fucking _useful_, you know, seeing as we're trying to get through this doorway here," Yagari drawled, causing the Pureblood's amused smile to widen.

But then his smile flickered, stretching unnaturally as he observed Zero again (still holding his hand mid-shake – ), his gem-like, glittering apple-green eyes absorbed Zero's still-stunned expression with deep interest, and worry, "I… perhaps that isn't such a good idea. Instead we might-"

"Isaya," Kaname frowned, pressing against the blonde's outstretched arms which barred the room from sight, "Move aside, friend,"

Isaya shook his head rapidly, urgently, nodding towards Zero this time, "Your fr… your _friend_ does not look very well either. I would not want him exposed to Kaien's illness, which would harm him further – "

"He'll be fine," Yagari thumped Zero roughly on the shoulder, sending him stumbling into Isaya, and past him into the room.

Isaya caught him easily by the same bruised shoulders and attempted to push him back out of the room, "He shouldn't see his father like thi-"

Zero rolled his eyes – "He is _not _my fa-"

Turning to give Isaya a withering glare put someone else into his view, above Isaya's shoulder, a glowing figure. Zero almost felt like he someone had extracted the last piece of "home" from inside him and roughed it up and laid it bare and unrecognisable before him. The nauseating heat and wetness in the air strangled the words from his throat, and being cast into the room… the _very small_ room… even as he tried to distract himself from the horrifying sight, looking at the naked walls, rough carpet… the numerous cups littered around the place which smelt of blood, or the Headmaster's glasses folded up and seated on the nightstand, his despairing eyes eventually could no longer avoid the Headmaster. And Zero found himself speechless.

This was not what he had been expecting.

* * *

><p>Having servants was a great help, Takuma decided, after he almost collapsed entirely onto the Castle steps and was prevented from the fall by the arms of many frantic, cooing servants <em>before<em> the sharp jutting stones steps could further injure his already-beaten body.

Getting out of the Hanadagi Castle had been both easy and difficult: the building was clear of any Es (granted they found plenty of mounds of dust, plenty of soldiers' corpses too –) which meant their exit was clear and safe, however, the minute they left the Castle, Takuma smelt the recent trails of the last of the Es where they had left, and they were still _close-by_. It had already been hard (on him and Kain) carrying their invalids and guiding the sightless Hanadagi's down the stairs and long winding corridors to leave the building. But with the knowledge that the Level Es were still in the region, Takuma froze aghast – their path back to Kuran Castle crossed an area _upwind _from them – thus they would be scented! The thought that their scents, caught on the wind, may drift to the Es and tempt them back towards them – especially when they were quite literally, the walking (hobbling) wounded and vulnerable – was _not a pleasant thought. _He'd capriciously thrown together the best of his navigating skills and sniffed out a path of stiller air, thus applied these to the unknown area, and then they had hobbled as fast as their wounds allowed over the uneven, dense forest undergrowth.

Now that they had arrived, safely intact, it was with a deep groan of pure relief that he saw the good butler take charge of his worse-for-wear squad. The deadweight of Boy's body was lifted from his shoulders, Kohaku's deathly tight grip on his fingers were prised off too. The blind Pureblood made the most heartbreaking of whimpers at their separation (Takuma could only imagine the spiked fear when Kohaku was dragged away by a mass of unknown hands), but he was quickly whisked away by doting maids and other staff to be cleaned, fed – _pampered_ – and adored reverently, as he should be – he _was_ a Pureblood, after all.

A glance to the side showed Nori being treated similarly, and to his relief the Lord was following the servants more cooperatively.

But _**Kain**_, ever resilient, (_stubborn_)

– _even though he was clearly using the dwindling remains of his adrenaline now, way beyond the threshold of mere exhaustion, and Takuma really didn't understand how he was still managing to do this_ –

clumsily yet _defiantly_ (and quite aggressively) shielded Aidou from the maids' groping hands. **No one** was to touch Aidou, _ever_, unless they got past Kain, and that was no mean feat. He watched the fire-master determinedly keeping a brisk pace up the stairs to the Castle, and presumably farther inside to the Infirmary; battling (read: _charging through, like an angered bull) _the hordes of keen but unwelcome helpers with his own fatigued body, for _Aidou_ and his badly needed treatment. Aidou was still in Death's sights. He was not yet in the clear, (neither was Boy) and this knowledge had urged them forwards with every yard he and Kain had dragged them through the dense forest, closer to home… _He was not yet safe._

Neither was…_Shiki?_ Takuma blinked tardily, feeling dully the ghost hands worming under his armpits and lifting him to his feet. The servants were flocking _him_ now – the last remaining of the group, who had been lying on the stone stairs, frighteningly unmoving –

But his mind was now fixated on his mate: Shiki.

_Where are you Shiki?_

It was a servant boy who was shaking Takuma, trying to gain his attention from wherever his gaze was now wandered unfocused. Takuma's head lolled to the side, but his fingers were firm in pulling off the servant boy's own, freeing himself with a staggering lurch to the side–

"Sir, _sir!_"

Takuma shuddered, shaking off the dozens of confounding hands on his person with a shuddering snarl. Too many hands, too few faces. It didn't make sense to him anymore. Only Shiki. He stumbled, falling forwards onto the steep stairs, and shaking off the helping hands again. The noises were being tuned out again till they were nothing more than foggy echoes. He fixed his gaze doggedly on the gap between the grand double doors leading into the entrance hall.

This was where he launched himself towards, focusing on the mystically narrowing gap to be his goal. There – further inside, past there – was his Shiki. Somewhere hidden inside the Castle.

Takuma's eyes narrowed in frustration and he gasped in sudden pain when his knees jarred on a step. He was on his hands and knees, crawling. Crawling up the steps, leaping up the few when the servants' hands managed to get a hold of him and swing him onto his shaky legs –

There was a fire. Somewhere inside him, there was a burning fire, similar to Kain's. But, perhaps (at least to him) it burned brighter. Pulsing like a plump cloud about to burst. It was like a constant hot pulse drumming at the back of his eyes, with a heat similar to the one he carried in his hands whenever he let his powers manifest in his palms, hissing like an angered snake. The feeling pushed him onto his feet, just as he reached the top of the stairs, and he managed to bring himself upright and standing. It wouldn't let him surrender. Takuma used the energy he bore, which he knew were the lasting vestiges of an overriding hunger to see Shiki's face (_Shiki was free of the curse now, wasn't he? He was himself again…)_, to beat down his exhaustion and drive on forwards.

He teetered, onwards, up the grand staircase and stumbled through corridors. The servants had become a hindrance in their insistent pleas to assist him, and he had rather uncharacteristically roared a harsh dismissal at them and then (literally) _exploded_ at the one accidental hand that touched him thereafter. That maid nursed her smarting hand, though she didn't know how lucky she was to have a hand remaining at all. Takuma would later find himself searching the Castle to apologise properly to her for causing her fright. But right now, his mind was preoccupied with _Shiki._

The last memory he had of seeing Shiki, being near to him – _touching_ him… had been… had been after Yuuki's kidnapping from the Castle. When he'd found Shiki shaking and shuttered from the world in his guilt, and he'd held him in his arms, rocking him side to side and muttering soothing nonsense into his ear. It was an intimate scene to look back on – one which made Takuma's nostrils flare in hopes of catching the smallest whiff of Shiki's sweet scent anywhere, and he simply _itched_ to see and hold him and –

"Takuma?"

His heart leapt to his throat.

But it was quickly appeased when he saw Ruka's wide caramel-coloured eyes staring at him in apparent shock, not Shiki's bright robin-egg blue.

"What are yo- why are you like _that_?" she practically screeched, jogging to his side (by 'that', Ruka meant he was pretty much doubled over in a bizarrely hybrid pose, between that of a hunting predator with his nose almost pressed to the ground and a rickety old geriatric bent on a Zimmer frame). He groaned as she helped him upright and his vertebrae popped in the stretch, sounding off like rifle shots, "Dear God, Takuma – you look _awful!" _

_Well thank you very much_, his mouth quirked derisively and he sent her a dry look, "Have you seen _Kain_?"

Ruka's fiercely twitching eyebrow shuddered alarmingly – "Have I seen… no. No I haven't. B-But _you_ have, at least!" she grinned. There was a smidgen of relief that appeased her, at the thought that at _least_ Takuma confirmed he'd seen Kain. Kain had made it to the Hanadagi's alive, which was better than she had hoped, given the current dangerous environment. She was still mad that he'd _dared _defy Kaname's orders to go save the _other_ twit. Both idiot cousins of hers were so bloody impulsive!

Takuma wheezed, winded by the sudden tightening in her hold. She was getting _angry_ – "He has Aidou," he panted desperately.

This made a sudden change to her demeanour. Ruka's eyes lightened and even a _smile_ graced her lips. She looked positively radiant, which greatly calmed Takuma's heart (Ruka had lately revealed a propensity for being absolutely _terrifying_ when angry).

Encouraged by her smile, he continued on conversationally – "Wait till you-!" _see what Kain did to Aid- _he was about to say. Then it occurred to him that that wouldn't be good news to tell Ruka. He cringed at the sheer magnitude Ruka's anger could and would escalate to, if she was told of Kain and Aidou's Bonding. Takuma cursed himself for his stupid motor-mouth, especially when he saw that his slip-up sparked new curiosity in her eyes.

"Wait till I – _what_?" she cocked her head to the side enquiringly (_and there chimed the funeral toll –)_. Despite the menacingly sweet appearance of her intrigued eyes on him, he felt like a specimen under a magnifying glass, and this made Takuma's blood run cold.

He disguised this with an innocent smile, "It doesn't matter-"

Her grip tightened ominously –

"- ah, I mean – I mean – _wait… _for Kain to tell you! _He _should tell you," in his head he silently apologised to Kain for shoving the task of telling the news to him. Then again – it was _his_ news to share. Takuma shook the guilt off him quite easily. With her curiosity abated for the meantime he could finally ask her what he initially wanted to – "Where is Shiki?"

Ruka beamed brilliantly, and she even patted Takuma's twitchy cheek fondly.

"He's alright. He's sleeping," she smiled, watching Takuma's frantic eyes settle. "In the room, with the others. Shall I take you there?"

He nodded fervently, and so Ruka slipped her arm in his with a content sigh.

* * *

><p>It was plain disconcerting when Zero realised it was the <em>Headmaster<em> who was emitting the horrid stench. Just as the rubber in his shoe sole squeaked on his mid-step, and his easy-to-hear sharp intake of breath broke the silence, the Headmaster turned his sweaty head. His damp brown bangs were glued to his pale, ashen face. Without his glasses, his amber gaze was much more striking, and Zero was brought to a halt by them. They crinkled into smiling upturned moons with soft, unassuming delight.

Before the Headmaster could say anything, he found himself speaking first, in quick panicked tones. "Would you like some water?"

The question was strange – unexpected, even more as a greeting, and it made the Headmaster open his eyes in surprise. But Zero's logical mind already predicted that he would almost certainly break down if he heard Kaien speak with a dry, brittle voice to match his grievously fragile body. He walked mechanically over to the nightstand where there was a jug. It was only when he started to pour it that he realised it was empty.

He was handed a bottle of water by Yagari, and uncapped it quickly.

Helping the Headmaster to drink was tricky, and his mind was swept back to the few times when he had fallen ill as a child. Being the one force-fed soup and water, he now found, must be the easier role in the task of feeding someone too weak to feed themselves.

Once he felt a hand on his, pushing him back, he relented and took the bottle away.

The Headmaster gulped the remainder of water in his mouth and then drew his cracked lips into another shaky smile, catching Zero's other hand to bring him closer. A quick glance at the Headmaster's eyes told Zero that he could not see him well (it's a complete mystery how the legendary Hunter always managed to kill his targets with deadly accuracy, since he always removed his glasses at those times), or at least, he wants to see him _closer_. For once, Zero obeyed him without protest, scrambling on his knees onto the damp mattress like a spooked child woken by a nightmare, seeking sanctuary from a parent. His fingers caught on the buttons of a coat, and he looked down to see… most of an entire wardrobe appear to have been piled atop the Headmaster. Even the odd pair of _socks_.

"Zero, my dear boy…"

Zero shuts his eyes, unable to meet the Headmaster's warm heady gaze. Even after drinking water, his voice isn't the vibrant one he remembered from a few weeks ago. It was far quieter and tender, and all too frail. For some reason he felt guilty, even though he hadn't done anything wrong. And then, he noted, it was _exactly _because he had done _nothing_, that he felt guilty. He hadn't been there, at the Academy, defending his Headmaster. Zero reached over to put the water bottle on the nightstand, next to the folded glasses, the empty jug, the stained cups –

Cups which at the bottom have dregs of black. Zero frowned, turning sharply to Yagari for explanation.

Instead it was Isaya who spoke.

"I have been feeding him my blood, to heal him," he explicated, leaning his hands on the back of a nearby chair. He eyed Kaname, almost searching for approval from his friend, who sent him an enigmatic nod. "And for the most part, it has done him good," he added.

"I disagree," Kaien piped up, attempting to rise from his mountain of covers –

In an instant Isaya pushed him back down with only one hand, "Lie down, you fool," he barked and took Kaien's arm to keep him, "And be _quiet_," and then he pulled back the covers.

This was the source of the rotting smell.

Except it wasn't _rotting_, but rather –

"Oh…! God…"

Zero tumbled backwards into Yagari and Kaname, but his eyes were fixed on the brown, crusty mess of bandages around Kaien's thigh. He gagged at the smell and horrific sight of too much blood staining the mattress, and yet he couldn't turn away from it. There was the distinct odour of **infection** mixed with his blood, which finally caused Zero's stomach to lurch, and he twisted around to retch into the jug Kaname offered him.

Isaya looked up at them impassively. "This was the reason why I didn't want you to see him. Then again, perhaps it was easier that you saw it for yourselves," he patted Kaien's wrist consolingly, "You wouldn't have believed me otherwise, had I simply told you how bad he was,"

"How bad _is_ he?"

"Is he well enough to travel?" Kaname interrupted rather urgently.

The Headmaster and Isaya's heads shot up at this, and they directed equally dire glares at each other –

"_Absolutely_-"

Headmaster nodded enthusiastically, "-Yes!"

"- _**not**_!"

Isaya quite literally stomped his foot in indignation, "_No_. I absolutely _forbid_ him from moving. Particularly after such a recent feeding," the Headmaster spluttered – "He needs time to rest and properly digest the blood, or else it will not have been worthwhile," he shot a dark look at Kaname, "You know the consequences of not letting Pure blood rest,"

His eyes came to Zero, where they blazed with meaning.

"He would have rejected the blood already if it wasn't going to work. You know this too," Kaname replied sharply. It was an almost physical relief when Isaya lifted his gaze from Zero to Kaname, as though his hand had been holding him by the collar, and now he was more able to breathe. Zero's whole essence was sparking painfully from the intensely meaningful stare, and it was then that he understood what they were talking about: blood warring.

"He has accepted mine," Isaya said evenly. His obvious tone and speculative gaze on Zero conveyed his interest as to _who_ was the cause of the symptomatic bruises dotting Zero's skin. With Kaname's rigid and suddenly defensive (even _hostile_) stance a result of Isaya's probing stare, Zero suddenly knew that they weren't to speak to Isaya about their own…feeding arrangement.

For whatever reason. They weren't to let him know.

Even though – Zero suspected, Isaya was a smart man, and he was pretty sure he already _knew_ it was Kaname who supplied his blood. It wasn't to be _said _aloud. Kaname still didn't want to elaborate. Why was that? He had thought Isaya was Kaname's friend… the knowledge of this distrust between them struck him as odd.

But…perhaps it wasn't 'distrust', per say.

Isaya had shown great loyalty, respect and even _affection_ for Kaien, by sharing with him his blood. Anyone blessed with an ounce of Pure blood would take that token gift as a high _honour_, therefore, the fact that Zero could see dozens of little cups stained in Pure blood revealed how much Isaya had given. Headmaster was very lucky to have him as a friend.

It was pertinent to conclude that Kaname must feel… the same for Zero. A great affection. High respect and loyalty, to _him. _But contradictory to that – the fact that Kaname did not want to speak about their arrangement to Isaya could mean that… well, maybe Kaname was…ashamed – embarrassment that he'd shared his blood with a Level D Vampire, let alone a Hunter-Vampire hybrid _outcast –_

Kaien was _the_ legendary Hunter. Even without Isaya's friendship, his survival would be important.

What was Zero?

_What was his value compared to someone like Kaien? Why did Kaname choose to save someone like him – ?_

"He is fine," Kaname said quietly, and then he straightened his back. He raised his chin, "And he _must_ be movable. We need to leave soon, if not _now_. A mass of Level Es are on their way," he nodded at Yagari, "They're around two hours' run behind us, but that's just an estimation,"

The Hunter crossed his arms leisurely, shuttering his eyelids with a deep sigh, "Well… _fuck me_," and Zero smiled wryly at the sight. Yagari really looked like he was just about ready to fall asleep on his feet. And after so many attacks, this bad news would hardly be met with any extreme emotion. With that, he abruptly strode out of the room without a word, the Headmaster staring after him. At first Zero thought he'd gone to check on the students, but then he saw a flicker of a flame and smoke and smelt the tobacco burn. Considerate, for once, but most probably so as to not further aggravate the Headmaster's poor condition, he'd simply stepped out for a well-needed smoke.

Kaname moved towards the bed, flashing a warm smile at the Headmaster (he was propped on his elbows as far up as he could, acting like a poorly child who couldn't wait to be released from bed-rest). He steadily raised his eyes to Isaya's, "Can he travel?", he repeated, this time with a confident gleam in his eye which revealed he already knew his answer.

Isaya let out a long-suffering sigh and pinched the skin between his eyebrows. With a frustrated huff of breath, he finally assented, "Alright, alright – _fine_. But he _will_ have to have at _least_ one quarter hour's rest before we go, whilst I go get his things,"

"A quarter of an hour will be fine," Kaname agreed to the compromise, and with that dismissal Isaya slinked away, grabbing a sack-bag and beginning to throw things in it. To Zero's utter surprise, the Pureblood stopped beside him, gave him a glance-over, and then proceeded to drag him along, mumbling that four hands would be quicker. Before he could even protest, or turn his head to Kaname (or even the Headmaster), he was whisked away through another door. Just as the door was shutting, he saw Kaname going to kneel in the place he'd knelt, on the dent in the mattress at the Headmaster's side.

* * *

><p>The parlour was in fact, empty, save for Shiki, who slept peacefully on the divan. The others had gone to refresh and re-fuel themselves, which was convenient for Takuma, otherwise they would have been unfortunate in seeing their perpetually jovial Vice-Dorm President breaking down into violent tears of joy. Ruka tactfully deposited him beside Shiki and, after brushing a kiss to his forehead, left the room.<p>

It was the realisation that, after such a long separation, Shiki was alright – still alive and breathing and looking much healthier than he remembered… this was what made Takuma stifle a groan of happiness. Pure relief. Shiki's face was as pale and beautiful and perfect as ever – no scar, it wasn't pinched in fear or guilt, or pain… he was simply beautiful, and Takuma knew this was completely reflective of the beauty inside Shiki too.

There was only a thin sheen of sweat remaining on his skin, but that was on account of his long-suffering battle against the curse, Takuma presumed, and it only served to illuminate him in the pinkish morning light. He was healed. He was safe. _Thank you_, he thought as he gazed reverently on Shiki, _to whoever was watching over him. Thank you, my friends. Thank you –_

He climbed ever-so-silently and slowly onto the divan, draping the length of his body around Shiki's side, and shifting so he was propped with his head on his arm, so he could still see Shiki's face. His eyelashes fluttered together in REM sleep, lips curving into a tiny smile –

Takuma buried his nose into the space just near Shiki's right ear, into the pillow suffused with his scent and his breath misting on his cheek, with a contented sigh. Safe.

"I…"

His lips trembled with nervousness and excitement, but then he saw how stupid he was being. Shiki couldn't hear him in sleep. He would wait to speak with him when he woke.

_I couldn't stop thinking about you. It's something impossible. I wouldn't want to stop, even if I could –_

_I missed you._

Takuma blinked back the last of his tears, and with a feather-light brush of his knuckles against Shiki's brow and cheekbone, he rose.

Now that he knew Shiki was alright, he had other duties to check up on.

With the thought that, if he finished these duties faster he'd be able to return to Shiki faster… he walked more briskly.


	86. Something Like This

**Author's Note:**

**Oh gawd, I've turned into a total smushy-pants. I be loving me some _fluffiness_. By this, I mean I have gone completely overboard with the fluff in this chapter. Please, eat your heart out on this candyfloss sugar XD**

**I've SERIOUSLY never written so much _fluff_. It makes me blush, cringe and squee as I write this note, and hesitate to launch this on the web. I mean, srsly, my cheeks are burning muchly...**

**Anyway, sorry that I missed the timing to wish you all a HAPPY NEW YEAR~! WOOT! 2012! We have become a movie title!**

**Is anyone waiting for the dreaded 20/12/2012 like I am? (being a superstitious sissy-pants) LOL**

**Anyway, happy new year! Wait for the 23rd Jan for CHINESE NEW YEAR! Cos there are enough of us to be legit to have our _own_ New Year celebration! LOL, kidding, kidding... what's it this year? The dragon? The dragon! OMG I LOVE THE DRAGON YEAR YUSSSS~! Rawr!**

**Kk. Just want to thank you all for being so patient and kind and supportive and generally _awesome, _as Prussia would say. I love you guys so much!**

**Here we go!**

* * *

><p><strong>"I count myselt in nothing else so happy<strong>  
><strong>As in a soul rememb'ring my good friends."<strong>  
><strong>~ William Shakespeare<strong>

**"I love you, not only for what you are, But for what I am when I am with you. "  
><strong>**~ Roy Croft **

**"If you love me only in my dreams, let me be asleep forever."**  
><strong>~ Author Unknown<strong>

* * *

><p>His eyes met with Takuma's over the beds, sombre with worry but also shining with contradictory relief. It was terribly unsatisfying – the doctor's conclusion of both patients being in critical but stable conditions. It meant Aidou and Boy were teetering on the brink of death – and they certainly looked that way – but they were still somehow clinging on for dear life (ironically). Kain couldn't think of a situation more <em>wonderful<em> than this. Apparently there wasn't much they could do but to wait. Already Aidou was hooked up to a network of tubes, only two of which Kain could identify: one supplied blood to a vein in the crook of his arm (the medics refused to take the blood he offered them, even as he begged –) and the other was connected to a medical ventilator (the sheer thought that Aidou was reliant on a machine to breathe… sickened Kain with guilt).

Boy's situation was entirely different. Kain had watched over him for Takuma, while he was briefly absent (probably gone to see Shiki), and seen the doctor and nurses baffled by the complexities of the course of action to take. It was only then when Kain really registered the fact that – Boy was _Human_ – in the company of all these Vampires, and not one of them was even consciously or fleetingly taking into consideration the opportunity of _feeding on the weak and __**dying**__ Human lying __**just there**_. The situation would not have been the same two years back. Before the previous War… Kain struggled to remember what pure animosity between Hunters and Vampires felt like (albeit they weren't exactly the best of friends now), but _beyond that_, he couldn't remember any sort of understanding that Humans were as important as Vampires at all.

It pleased him to see the medical staff valuing Boy's life without complaint or question. They bustled around him in a concentrated buzz of intrigued and complex discussion, passing various instruments and tools between them. But even though Kain was glad of their dedication, their efficiency was severely _lacking. _Especially when he compared Boy's treatment with Aidou's, with a quick flick of his eyes between the two patients. There was a stark difference between Aidou only requiring a small team of medics to help him, and the swarm of confused medics _screaming_ over Boy's bed in a chaos which spelled out their mounting hysteria at his declining condition. They didn't have Human blood to give to him, they didn't know if the IV fluid Vampires used was compatible with Humans, they couldn't compare Boy's electrocardiograph with the regular results from Vampires –

It was a difference of species and a missing gap in the knowledge of Humans which held the team back. It wasn't their fault. They could not be put to blame for being ignorant of how to heal Boy properly. He had watched their movements with proud, yet anxious eyes, and eventually saw that they made some progress with him – managing to sanitize his wounds and bandage him up successfully. He was tentatively hooked up to the heart monitor, and he was given oxygen too via another medical ventilator, but… other than that they did not want to risk introducing foreign Vampire-specific treatment to him only to have his body reject it. He was too weak to handle _more_ attacks on his body, even if the "attacks" were friendly, per se, and their intentions good.

They were both sleeping peacefully, if you could call unresponsive unconsciousness "peaceful". At least, he supposed they were unlikely to get _worse_, and at least the doctor had told him they were _not_ comatose. Kain hoped for their sakes that wherever they were at the moment, wherever their haemorrhage-induced minds may be drifting, they were numb to pain. There were meds for Aidou's numbness, but for Boy he sincerely wished for him that he was so deeply unconscious he was beyond feeling pain.

Kain had yet to be told Boy's association with Takuma, or why he was a soldier Takuma valued so much. Perhaps he had done him a good deed. Even without knowing a thing about him – one look at the wound Boy had sustained, from an E no doubt, compared with Takuma, who had eventually turned up in the Infirmary and was diagnosed to be remarkably unscathed, and Kain could guess that Boy may have had a hand in that turn-out. In which case, he had Kain's respect for such valiant and selfless behaviour.

"Hoo-ee," Kain whistled, rubbing his eyes with one fist. He had purplish bags under his eyes which had made Takuma push him into a chair with the orders to "_Close your eyes and for goodness' sake – rest for a bit. I promise I'll wake you when he does," _but Kain, stubborn as ever, refused to rest when Takuma had even darker circles under his eyes, and _he_ was still standing. However, knowing that Aidou was in good hands, he allowed himself to relax a little, and slumped in his chair with a relieved sigh. The thick velvet curtains blocked out most of the sunlight but for a thin slither, which cast a long golden line on his right jaw and picked out his red stubble like his skin was encrusted with embers.

Within the first half hour of being back at the Castle, the others were informed on what happened at Hanadagi Castle, and they in turn were told that Kaname, Zero and Kaito had gone to the Academy. The thought of the students in danger only made Kain release another weary sigh. He was getting fed up of this. Every time they turned their attention to one place, somewhere else was being targeted. It was obviously Rido's intention – to wear them out this way.

Now, he supposed, they ought to wait for Kaname to return. His orders had been simply to stay at the Castle, after all, and that was what they were doing. Unsurprisingly, Takuma was not content to just sit down and wait though, and had immediately set to work sending messengers to call back the rest of the soldiers from the barracks and investigate the Hanadagi Castle. After consulting with Nori, they'd been told that the rest of the Hanadagi clan was very unlikely to be Awoken by Rido because he already had so many minds under his control, he wouldn't care for taking on extra 'trouble'. However, that didn't mean he wouldn't return to the Castle to kill them off in their Sleep _on a whim _– therefore, Takuma made orders for some soldiers to guard their chambers.

Kain shut his eyes tiredly, feebly battling against the purple veil of unconsciousness, even as Takuma tutted like the dutiful mother-hen role he often took amongst his friends. This made the fire-master shoot an affectionate grin at his friend, and with equal consideration Takuma took to ensure his comfort, Kain tugged him down onto a seat beside him.

He eyed Takuma's pallid face with some concern, finding the aberrant twitch in his jaw and wandering gaze disconcerting. He placed a hand on his friend's arm, "Are you okay?"

Takuma nodded absentmindedly, "I'll do," he murmured, apparently not realising that his response made no sense.

"Takuma," Kain squeezed his arm urgently, "Look at me,"

He blinked owlishly, slowly, as if he was waking from a daydream, "…hmm?"

"You should be taking better care of yourself," Kain tried to say reasonably, but then Takuma _snorted, _and suddenly Kain felt foolish.

"Says yourself," he scoffed.

"What's your problem? And…" he muttered, eyeing Takuma warily. Takuma's new and odd behaviour was unnerving. Kain was so used to seeing him cheerful, even if he knew the happy-go-lucky Takuma was a farce – sometimes he forgot that Takuma was just as tired and easily irritated when tired as anyone else. Even more so, the drain of keeping up such a front must be exhausting in itself. By means of a well-educated guess, given what he knew (Takuma was Bonded to _someone_) and what had transpired only minutes ago (Takuma going to see Shiki), Kain could only surmise that… well, that Shiki had to be Takuma's mate. In _that_ case, his twitchy, absentminded behaviour ought to be due to an urge to be with Shiki. The question was: why was he here then? Kain found himself smirking even before he asked the question with far less bite than his last utterance, "And why are you staying _here_, when you obviously want to be with _Shiki?_"

This managed to catch Takuma's attention and he abruptly turned to Kain with a surprising amount of panic in his eyes.

"Shi- Wha-…" he paused, blearily blinking away the remnants of his strange mood. "Shiki – yes. I… I ought to be with him, but… wait – how did you know?"

Kain raised an eyebrow, "It wasn't hard to figure out,"

Takuma blinked, "It wasn't?"

Kain shook his head.

The blonde hummed thoughtfully, nodding, "Any… Anyhow, the reason I am here… is to speak with you,"

Kain let his mouth spread tightly into an encouraging smile, "Indeed," and he gestured forwards, "Go on,"

Takuma sucked in a steadying breath, puffing up his cheeks which made Kain frown at his edginess.

"It's just… you're the only person who I can… speak to about…" he trailed off meaningfully, and Kain's other eyebrow joined the one near his hairline when he saw Takuma's pallid face suddenly fill with colour. "…_you know_," Takuma pressed. At first, Kain wanted to laugh out loud, thinking it was _sex_ Takuma was meaning, and the big deal was just because he was such a prude. But then when he saw Takuma _bite his lip_, shooting another meaningful look at the sleeping Aidou, he had to rethink his observation.

Kain wasn't stupid (despite Aidou's teasing 'all brawns, no brains' comments, which he had conveniently lost his sensitivity to, at age six), but Takuma was simply _lousy_ at giving hints. It was only when Takuma lifted his hand to his neck and snapped his jaw, revealing his _fangs_, when he got it. Finally.

The Bite.

Takuma wanted to talk about… _the Bite_.

It was Kain's turn for blood to rush to his face, at the memory of it all. It was such a vivid memory, yet so _hazy_ in his delirium…

"Oh," he managed to croak throatily, with a wince, "_That_,"

Takuma nodded jerkily, darting his eyes about for any lingering medical staff. The nurses were notorious for their bedside _gossip_ (their bedside manner was also highly commendable, _nevertheless –_), and this type of talk was best done privately. He licked his lips nervously, "I mean, I guess I could also speak with Kaname, but-" he halted, eyes wide with conveyed meaning, which Kain nodded to easily. Kaname was Takuma's closest friend, but in spite of this fact, and the fact that Kaname was not physically available at the moment… in the end, it didn't feel like this was something they could talk about with him. Even though the Nobles strived to include Kaname in all that they did, there was always a distance they had to maintain. He was a great friend, a wonderful listener and secret-keeper, but he was also a King – first and foremost. You couldn't go spilling all your troubles on your King now, could you?

"What. Um… what do you want to talk about, I mean…" Kain flushed hotly. He eyed the metal bars of the bed rails, chewing on his lip.

"Well, it's just… I was, well I went to see Shiki. Earlier,"

Kain nodded. He could smell Shiki on Takuma and, given the current _intimate_ topic of conversation, the fact that the scent was quite _strong_ made Kain's ears turn bright red at the implications. Oh, the implications of this… He clicked his tongue nervously. "Yeah,"

"I was just checking on him, you see," Takuma cleared his throat, "And… I'm not sure… I, but I felt," he sucked in another breath, "When I saw him it was like – like I could see nothing else. It was really… bizarre – but everything went quiet, everything apart from his breathing and mine… I don't know. This _feeling_," Takuma gushed, "I don't know. It doesn't make sense to me. I wanted to…"

Kain watched in rapt fascination as Takuma's mouth struggled to form words, his eyes were surprisingly half-lidded – but it was clear this was because he was lost in the swirl of endless puzzling thoughts he was trying to translate into meaning. All these thoughts centred around "this _feeling_", and the notion of what that _feeling_ might be made the hairs on the back of Kain's neck prickle with uncertainty. It was… he could see where this was going, and he wasn't quite sure what to think of it. _This feeling_… oh Takuma, dear, dear Takuma…

"He was sleeping. I…I've never–" he shook his head insistently, " – I've _never_ felt such a strong desire, to t-touch someone than then. _But I didn't_," he said quickly, green eyes wide and shifty, "I j-just… it made me physically _hurt_ to leave him…" he laughed, briefly hysterical in pitch, "And I'm _worried_, Kain. I don't know what to _do_," he ended on a rather distressed note, and looked like he was at the point of stamping his feet and screaming whilst tearing out his hair. Kain was glad he wasn't that far gone. _Yet_. He did look stressed with his jaw clenching and balled fists.

"Who says… you have to _'do'…_ anything?"

Takuma's expression blanked in surprise, but it was short-lived. His hand _did_ sink into his hair and tug at the strands as a means of distraction. "I _know_ I have to. I have to deal with it. Either get rid of it or… or…"

Both friends sighed, one with frustration, the other in desolation. Another harsh yank at his hair made Takuma hiss, and Kain voiced his concern for premature baldness which gained him a meagre but amused smile.

He sighed again, "It's only been, what, an hour since we've got back, and already… already this is getting to me,"

"Don't be so hard on yourself," Kain soothed, "You weren't expecting anything like… this,"

Takuma snorted with a rueful grin, "Well, no. No, I wasn't, but that hardly makes a difference," his eyes drooped again, which suddenly induced a flare of irritation in Kain. He was feeling his own tiredness and slow mind wore at his thinning patience ruthlessly.

Kain sighed, "Look – is there _anything _you _can_ do? No. If there was, you'd know, and you'd be doing it. You've just got to… do what feels right, I suppose," he shrugged, hoping Takuma could pick up on the finality in his movements. He watched the blonde absorbing his advice warily. He was nodding slowly, thoughtfully… it made Kain want to groan. He was beginning to get a headache from this talking about _feelings. _Jesus.

"I've been thinking it – could just be the Bond making me feel this way – I know _I _missed him, but… you know, the Bond could be amplifying things… making me _feel_ things differently," he huffed, shaking his head, "I'll have to talk about this with Shiki, at some point. It could just be a case of that saying, you know: absence makes the hea-" he choked on the phrase: _heart grow fonder._ His eyes bugged comically in sheer horror of what he'd just been about to admit, _aloud_. To have a "heart grow fonder" necessitated having a "heart" – and having a heart meant…

"_Whatever_. I'm," he flushed, "I'm done. I'm really over thinking this, aren't I? Sorry. And thank you for listening to me, Kain. Sorry for…" he looked over towards Aidou with an unreadable look, which made Kain hum questioningly, "This has been…" he chuckled, "Awkward, but I really appreciate this talk,"

Kain nodded with an indulgent and easy smile, "No problem,"

Truth be told, throughout the talk he had been thinking about Takuma's "feelings" for Shiki, and he found it ever more logical and easy to digest this new… thing, and he also found that he _accepted it wholeheartedly_. In fact, he realised, he had been somewhat _expecting _this development subconsciously. All the time – whenever he thought about Takuma, he thought about Shiki too. They came as a package deal, together, _always_. Even in the unsuspecting mind.

He cleared his throat, folding his hands together, "I think this has been… helpful to you?" he shrugged again casually, watching Takuma's throat bob and tighten with mild interest. "For which I'm glad. And," he added slowly, "…I have to say… I'm not, on the whole, surprised by… this,"

"You aren't?" Takuma squeaked, squirming in his seat. Kain shook his head.

"Nope. Honestly… between you two, there has always been…" he blushed, coughing to cover his stutter, "It has always been quite plain to see, in my opinion," he held Takuma's gaze with his own – deep, sincere one, "Your feelings for Shiki,"

Takuma's mouth flapped amusingly and he blanched, "It _has_?"

Kain nodded again, "Oh absolutely,"

"B-But…" Takuma spluttered, wringing his sleeves alternately, "I… I…"

"You're speechless," Kain supplied bluntly, "Understandably,"

"How can you be so calm about this?" Takuma exclaimed.

Kain simply rolled his eyes, massaging his temples in an obvious show of his mounting irritation again. Takuma's throat bobbed again, but his eyes blazed, "I… I just don't want anything to change," he said firmly, finding Kain only nodding mildly, to his chagrin, "We're so _good_ like this. And I don't know how Shiki will react to-"

He cut himself off, biting his own lip to withhold his motor mouth. Kain watched him steel himself with a deep breath, in which action he also rolled his shoulders back in a stretch. Takuma drew another calming breath in, whereupon he stood.

His eyes flickered to Aidou's bed, and then – "Well," Takuma scratched his ear, "Thank you for… for your…"

"Yes," Kain nodded, finding Takuma's gaze with his own again before sending him a reassuring wink, "It'll be fine," he insisted, "Everything's gonna be okay," _I promise_, he wanted to say, for he couldn't imagine Takuma and Shiki ever falling out over anything, especially over something like this. If anything, this would bring them closer together than anyone previously thought possible.

Takuma nodded stiffly, biting his lip again quickly before he spoke, "Is there… Is there anything else you might want to talk with me about? While I'm still here – I plan to go to," he ducked his head, "S-See _Shiki_ again,"

Kain shook his head immediately with a teasing smile, not wanting to keep Takuma from his obvious desire to see his mate. "Nah," he clapped Takuma on the shoulder, "You're alright,"

Takuma smiled briefly, and then walked over to the Infirmary entrance, stopping at the wall to turn back with a hesitant expression. "Sure?"

Kain cocked his head quizzically – what was it that Takuma thought he had to ask him about? There wasn't anything in particular he wanted to talk with him about. "Sure," he insisted, making a languid shooing motion with one hand, "Now, go,"

The blonde merely sent him an unsure look, and then looked past Kain – at…

– Kain followed his line of gaze to land on _Aidou, _where it remained pensively, for a longer time than he was comfortable with, he realised. Without consciously intending it, Kain moved to the foot of the bed – the hairs at the back of his neck prickled, and without even _thinking_ about it _he bared his fangs and curled back his lips into a menacing snarl, _and a warning growl rumbled at his throat. As soon as he realised what he was doing, he dropped the hostility in pure shock, but this had already caught the blonde's attention. Takuma nodded tactfully, seemingly understanding something Kain did not, and he gave him a strange, quirky (_knowing, _he wanted to say), enigmatic smile too to top it all off.

"Everything's going to be okay with you too," Takuma said simply before he drifted out the door, leaving Kain consumed in his lingering shock, and then… puzzlement. What? That had been an oddly _random_ thing to say, he thought, turning to observe his unconscious cousin with some concern – seeing what could possibly _not_ be okay at the moment.

And then, the implications of Takuma's lingering words suddenly _clicked_ together in Kain's mind.

…_you're the only person I know, who I can speak to about…_

He'd said at the start of their conversation, and then he'd dragged Kain's ears through a whole onslaught of complicated feelings he had found when he was with Shiki… _you're the __**only person**_ was what he said. Why did he say that? What was their unique similarity? Kain was the only other person in a _Bonded _relationshipTakuma knew, who he could relate to, who could possibly understand what he was experiencing. At first Kain had thought Takuma had just been referring to the _Bite_, but the whole conversation following from that had been about – the _Bond_.

…_I've been thinking it – could just be the Bond making me feel this way…_

It wasn't difficult to pinpoint the only one other motive, other than Takuma gaining advice from someone similar to himself – the reflex of his initial motive was revealed from the way Takuma had left the room, his departing words: _'Everything's going to be okay with you too,'_ he'd said. Roughly his own words repeated to him from Takuma's mouth with equal support and conviction.

He'd used that phrase to say that Takuma and Shiki would be fine _**together**_. They'd get through whatever this was. Takuma was safe with his feelings for him.

But for Takuma to feed his words back to him, even wearing such a disarming, inscrutable smile as he did so, he was… _implying_… that for him and Aidou – it would be… the **same**.

Because they were Bonded too. They would develop similar feelings – feelings of… desire. Or at least _he _would. That was the reason why Takuma had been open to Kain talking more – he'd been generously giving him the opportunity to voice his anxiety _before _he got the fucking panic attack he was getting now. Kain started gasping on thin air, hyperventilating in wild suffocating panic as his mind ran off down a path he didn't want to go, and the consequences of a **Bite **and a **Bond** seriously dawned on him (but not with the gentleness of dawning light, more like someone gripping him by his tender parts and squeezing suddenly).

Kain gaped after Takuma. What a whirlwind of thoughts and _problems _he had left him to! It felt like absolute _sin_ to think about… what Takuma was implying, but there was little control he had on his own mind, especially when this was something he had never considered before and his mind was _naturally curious_. A fresh outlook on his life was necessary for dealing with this, this _relationship_ with Aidou – what he had done at the Hanadagi's having changed _everything –_

Kain remembered Biting Aidou with the only thought: to save his life. He'd clung onto Aidou's chilly body, seeing the blood wasted on the floor spilt from him, tasting his blood and feeling the fire in him blaze an inferno in his chest. That warmth – he'd eagerly shared with his new mate, cradling his body tenderly as their Bond was born.

He remembered feeling blood drip down his lips – this was his first time Biting _anything _since teething as a baby _– _he'd faced the Hanadagi's with their contrasting expressions – on one side Kohaku smiling weakly, on the other Nori simply looking cold and disappointed. His heart had been racing, energy pouring off him in waves from the buzz of _blood on his tongue, in his veins, the taste of Aidou's blood so sweet, so sweet_ – therefore he'd barely heard the berating words from Nori above the blissful buzzing in his head.

But what he _had_ picked up from it and what he _did_ remember, there was Nori's sharp voice criticising him for taking control of Aidou's life without his permission. He abhorred the fact that he had created a Bond in such _haste_, stating the sanctity of a Bonded union should be something only preordained or predetermined – it should be between people intended for each other, whether by arranged marriage or… _love_ (the Pureblood tacked on reluctantly). The changes their lives now would undertake would be monumental, he decreed: _did they really think they could handle the changes they'd have to face? It wasn't something they could ignore or erase. Could he face Aidou when he wakes and stand by his decisions, confident that he had made the right choice?_

The answer lodged in Kain's throat.

He was now weighing his decision in his hands, brooding over its intelligence and foresight. The full brunt of his actions now hammered against his skull in the happenings of one _major _headache. He'd only wanted to let Aidou live, to _save_ him from death. But by doing so, he'd forced Aidou into a life he'd have to live _with him. _

_Life-long decisions._ He could only liken this to one _incredibly _disturbing analogy – being suddenly handed a baby and told it was yours, to keep and love, similar to a flour-bag-baby project, only – _no, you can't give it back_

_(you can't reverse it)_

_you __**have **__to keep it.._.

Yes. It was _that_ terrifying and _that_ permanent, in his mind.

He supposed, since Takuma's Bond with Shiki was older than his and Aidou's – for them it would be like being given a _child_ rather than a baby. Takuma's fumbling with his feelings was along the lines of trying to acquaint himself with a child he never knew he'd fathered. He wouldn't understand why, but he would know that he already loved the kid with all that he was. He would instinctively have the urge to raise the child (Bond), protect it and help it grow up to be strong (_the Bond would only get stronger over time – oh dear God)_.

Would it end up being the same with him, eventually? Would he suddenly… would the _Bond_ suddenly grab him, like it did Takuma, and throw him into the madness of having_ fucking __**feelings**_ for Aidou? Bloody hell! He now_ thanked_ Takuma for talking to him about this. At least now he knew what to expect in the future. (Takuma and Shiki had been separated for so long, so soon after their new-born Bond was established – maybe this reunion had catalysed the Bond's effects to _become _so intense? Who knew?) At least his "kid" wouldn't be an unknown surprise like it had been for Takuma… nonetheless, sometime soon it would come knocking at his door…

This was ridiculous. Who was he – a teenager – to decide some life-long decision like this? It just _shouldn't be._

But whether it should be or not, it _was_. He'd unwittingly made a choice for them _both_ which would last them for their lives, _unless_ one of them decided to cut the Bond prematurely – if Aidou would wake and choose death over living shackled to Kain. The thought of that caused Kain to actually grimace as if a sharp pain assaulted him, and he shrank in his chair at the unsettling thought…

…what had he done?

As Kain looked down at Aidou's sleeping face, he could only see years and years of a conjoined life ahead of them… but, hadn't they always been living together till this point? He looked backwards, remembering the cherubic child his cousin had been, still visible in the present-to-this-day plumpness of his cheeks and button nose. He tried to picture Aidou's face now, continuing on into the future where the eventual strains and worries in life would stretch and shape him – creasing laughter lines around his eyes, wrinkles on his forehead, and yet a perpetual mischievous glimmer in his eye. All through this, he saw _Aidou_, by his side through it all. And it meant a lot to him that he could still manage to picture him smiling – in that future – _enjoying _a life lived with him. It made the bitter guilt weighing in his mind sweeten. Because he couldn't find it in himself to feel disappointed with that image. He was soothed – not by his own mind – but by Aidou's _smile._

Though it would be wrong to presume too much… he knew Aidou well, and… to be with him, forever – or till the day they died, he imagined, would… perhaps not be so bad.

He just… he just wanted Aidou to confirm it. He wanted to shake him awake and hear him agree – to hear him say _yes_, _he would love for them to be together forever_ – _no, he wouldn't hate him for Binding them for life_ –

He was so focused on trying to wake Aidou with his stare alone – _so he could beg forgiveness over and over again for… for Binding them together __**without his permission**_– that he did not hear the door open, nor the angry click of heels on the polished floor.

He didn't notice the huffing breaths of one _severely_ pissed off lady until her small, dainty hand –

_slapped _the dazed expression off his face

- and he was suddenly looking up at the pinched, pursed lips of his other cousin, her eyes steadily boring a hole into his forehead. Kain massaged his smarting cheek, cursing as the skin began to heat and swell. It would most definitely leave a mark.

"You're such a lucky bastard, you know?"

What a thing to say to someone, straight after you've _slapped a handprint onto their face._

"Do you _know_ how lucky you are?"

He blinked slowly, and winced when he spoke (the slap was _really_ painful, and he wasn't being a baby about it – though he shouldn't be surprised by this – coming from Ruka), "Sorry, lucky about what?"

Ruka huffed, "Being _here_. Being _alive_, for God's sakes," she grabbed his chin, leaning over him with intent, "_Do you have any idea how worried I was?_"

Kain shook his head in sheer dread.

She ground her teeth, narrowing her eyes, "After hearing about that _asshole_," she jerked her chin at Aidou, "Over there choosing to run off on some suicide mission, and then – _you_ also going after him – I… I-" she squeezed his chin till he grunted in pain, "You're both so _stupid!_ So reckless! I could _kill you! _I thought you were _dead_ – him, because of the damn mission, but you – _you_," she prodded his chest, so that it also joined in the list of currently sore, abused body-parts – "Exhibit the vaguest shred of self-preservation, would you _please? _I thought better of you, Kain, I _really_ did, being the more sensible, _rational_ one of _Tweedle-Dum and Dee_. But I was wrong – I thought that you probably wouldn't even make it to the castle. Do you want to know _why _I thought that, bastard?" Kain shook his head – she ignored him – "Because you were _all alone_. If you had… you could have taken me _with you. _At least Hana had some people with him, but you… _you_…"

She panted after her rant, practically collapsing on him. Kain found his chest burning, and realised he'd been holding his breath back in pure fear. He sucked in a deep breath too, moving to envelope Ruka's shuddering body into more of a hug. She was shaking, the poor girl. He _did_ feel ashamed at his carelessness, though he couldn't bring himself to apologise for what he'd done – otherwise Aidou would be dead. Cheekily, he mentioned this to her, whilst she was still securely held in his arms and unable to maim him any further (though she did try to). Ruka only huffed, extracting herself from him with an undignified shimmy off his lap.

She pointed her finger at him warningly, "Hugs will get you nowhere,"

But that was when things went further downhill.

Ruka's eyes caught on red on her finger – blood, obviously – which she sniffed, quickly identifying it as Aidou's. Immediately she leapt from her place to Aidou's bedside, where she debated between ranting at his unconscious form and giving into the urge to fuss over him. He was so pale and sickly looking against his sheets, that she soon found her anger was swept away, overpowered by concern.

"He looks… I didn't think he'd be this bad, Akatsuki…"

"If I hadn't gone, he would've been worse," he said slowly, and it wasn't even expressed condescendingly, but with honest seriousness that made Ruka nod in ascent. He had followed her to stand on the other side of the bed, and without even considering the motion, he found his hand slipping into Aidou's cold one. It brought a shiver and goosebumps to his skin.

Ruka took Aidou's other hand shyly, raising her head to _finally _smile at Kain, "Thank you," she said quietly, her lovely face melting into an even wider and more beautiful smile, "I'm _so relieved_ to have you both back, like this," and Kain found himself smiling back at her, "It's hell without either of you here," he felt her waves of affection cascading over them, and hoped Aidou could feel it too. Ruka wasn't typically an affectionate lady. This was a rarity, to witness her express her love for them, peeking under all her prickly layers of contempt she had built up from them over the years.

He watched her sweet honey eyes roll downwards to take in the mess of Aidou's bandages, and her lips begin to pout subconsciously in the way she did when she was trying not to let herself show she was getting teary –

"H-He's not…"

Kain shook his head kindly, "He'll be alright. He's stable," he told her, deciding to leave out '_he's critical too, they say'_ thinking she just might not handle that too well right then.

Ruka's eyes closed momentarily, before she opened them again. He wondered idly if she'd just thanked a deity for Aidou' protection, or made a prayer to one for his recovery.

"Good," she sniffed, crouching over Aidou closer. She trailed her other hand through his hair in a friendly ruffle, down his cheek and across his ne-

Her hand stopped at his neck. Just at the same time as when Kain's eyes shot wide in renewed fear.

_Oh shit_, went through his mind, as her fingers lingered over the bandage. The crescent shaped red stain on the bandages showed exactly the imprint of his Bite mark, and he felt a shiver of dark pride and – _mine, that is __**my**__ mark, yes –_ he also clearly thought _oh shit_, because Ruka almost certainly would find out it was _his_ Bite (it hadn't hit him how ridiculous he was being – could she _recognise _the imprint of _his _teeth? Not unless she'd contacted his dentist, she wouldn't –).

And when she did –

"I-Is that a…" her eyes were impossibly wide and upturned to him, lips now trembling and eyes rapidly filling with tears – _shit, shit, shit – "He's been Bitten_?"

"Y-Yes," he stuttered, before his mind could stop himself. Kain shut his eyes, resigning himself to his fate. He'd _have _to tell her now, or else she'd needlessly worry – already he could see horror stories firing up in her mind, ready to torture her – "Relax," he intoned, and then he realised his mistake as she turned on him shrieking.

"He's been Bitten," Ruka uttered tonelessly, two fat tears spilling over and rolling synchronously down her cheeks. And then her eyes shut, squeezing as she tried to comprehend – "Relax? _Relax-" _she whispered. It was with some relief that he saw her step back away from Aidou – before she _properly _got into one of her moods and accidentally caused him harm. Kain went to her, wrapping his arms like a strait jacket around tightly her again before she could do anything else. He first waited for her to stop beating his arms and squirming against them, knowing she wouldn't be able to listen until she had beaten all her anger and agony out, and then… he told her everything.

He could feel her grief in the way she leant against him, dazed, at the end. Under her trembling form he could feel a storm brewing, and it was with the sense of "self-preservation" she had begged him to exhibit that he found himself soon stroking her hair in a desperate effort to calm her.

Ruka brushed her fingers against his arm – a signal that he should release her _now_, which he did instantly (like she was a hot coal), she was calm and... He obeyed cautiously, stepping even further away from her. But to his surprise, she looked at him rather placidly, though there _was_ a triumphant gleam in her eye which made him shudder, and a sadistic twist to her lips –

Ruka planted her hands on her hips and outright smirked at him then – and that was when Kain truly panicked (inside). He almost fell over when she abruptly darted forwards to plant a shocking wet kiss on his cheek, remnants of mockery on his skin, "Aidou-chichi is _not _going to be happy about this,"

Aidou-chi –

_Oh __**shit**__._

* * *

><p>Being told you were going to help someone with packing, and then being shoved into a rickety, uncomfortable chair by a Pureblood you didn't know squat about, would make any sane Hunter reach for their gun in fury. Zero smothered this reflex with a measure of decorum his Vampire side endured. Both his bloods were at a disagreement with how he should progress in this situation where he was with little power (Bloody Rose was tucked in his pocket). It was making his skin feel hotter as they warred, and he could see the bruises he had darkening.<p>

_Isaya_ was packing. He hadn't been lying about the task for himself, it seemed, but what he wanted Zero there for had yet to be revealed. Zero waited patiently, but with growing _im_patience, he ducked his head to see through the gap into the room with the Headmaster in it. The door to this hidden store-room wasn't able to fully close, but it was very well camouflaged into the walls (or was it because it was so dark in the room that this door couldn't be seen). They were too far to be able to hear what the Headmaster and Kaname were saying, but he could hear the deep hum of Kaname's voice made to be gentle… the whisper of a voice made by the Headmaster accompanying it. Their conversation sounded amazingly light and cheerful, in comparison to the tense atmosphere he was suffering only a few yards away.

Distracting himself from his discomfort, he could feel a gentle stream of air passing through the small space, and being able to trace scents, the passage of fresh air was almost visible in its clarity, compared to the dank smell. Zero realised it wasn't a room for storage, but for ventilation – he could even hear the fine hiss of the cold air rushing in from outside, chasing away the sweltering heat.

Abruptly, the Pureblood stopped, right in the middle of rolling up a pair of socks, like he had heard something which had caught his attention, and he cocked his head to the side, dropping the socks onto the open case. Zero didn't have time to gasp – he suddenly appeared in directly front of him, bent so he could see the details of his face.

Had Zero not known better, he would've said Isaya looked quite like –

"My apologies, young one," Isaya bowed neatly, rising with an elegant smile, "It has been a while since I met a new face. I hardly know how to act around one – so, for ignoring you – I'm sorry. With ones such as Kaien, or Kaname, or even that charming Hunter, I can be my strange self," he tipped his head the other way, "My eccentricities alarm you?"

Zero blinked slowly, finding his voice absent under the intense scrutiny, "…'alarm' is… not the right word,"

This made Isaya grin, "You are a witty one," he chimed, pulling away so Zero had some room to breathe a bit. Moments later the Pureblood slapped a great pile of… of _socks _on Zero's right knee. He sucked in a breath, regrettably inhaling a lungful of the socks' musty scent (Zero doubted the cleanliness of the socks), and obediently plunged into the task. It soon became apparent that few of the socks matched in pairs, but, knowing the Headmaster enjoyed dressing oddly, and seeing that he was no slave to any sort of fashion, Zero eventually rolled socks oddly. A glance at the _eccentric_ Pureblood showed him Isaya was never concerned by the un-matching socks – he had initially started rolling them oddly _on purpose. _On a second thought, he realised this didn't strike him as much as he thought – he was beginning to expect oddness. Anticipate it, even.

_(_Absently, Zero wondered what on earth the Headmaster needed so many socks for, or why he had so many…)

Isaya tugged a stool out of seemingly nowhere, and sat on it heavily, "But if my oddness gets out of hand, you must speak up,"

He nodded jerkily, a ball of socks slipping out of his fingers, bouncing off his knee onto the floor. _Oh well, _"Of course, Shoto-sama," he surreptitiously toed the ball out of sight. No way would he stoop to pick it back up. That would push him closer to the musty socks, _no thank you_.

The ball shot out of its hiding place under his chair, levitated into the air into the suitcase (which was now almost completely filled with them, he noted). Isaya hadn't even looked up to do this, Zero observed. "Isaya," he insisted.

"Isaya-san," Zero nodded again.

Isaya leant forwards, propping his arms on top of his tucked knees and his chin on top of a half-rolled ball held in his hands, looking very much like a child in that pose. He cracked his knuckles, sounding off like pistol shots, "You must be wondering why I asked you to accompany me here,"

Zero couldn't help a small snort escaping, "Well, yes, but you didn't exactly '_ask'_ me," _you sort of, dragged me behind you and then shoved me onto a chair._

Isaya's smile never diminished, "The answer is – _one_," his eyes flew over to the crack of light made by the un-closed door, "To allow those two to talk. They apparently have matters to discuss and Kaien requested it be so. _Two_," he grinned toothily at Zero, "I'm _intrigued _by you,"

"Intrigued," Zero repeated slowly, finding Isaya nodding _very_ enthusiastically. Eccentricities. Tch.

"Yes, _intrigued_," he agreed, scooting forwards on his small stool. The legs scraped gratingly – "I have been told _so much_ about you, despite never having met you – I've heard so much about Kaien's darling son-"

Zero scoffed loudly, "Don't listen to anything that idiot says," he folded his arms in annoyance, "He doesn't know anything,"

" – it is _intriguing_," Isaya continued seamlessly, "And seeing dear Kaname-kun has been successful in finding you, and seeing for myself confirms that his descriptions were superbly accurate-"

"Hold on!" he halted the Pureblood, who surprisingly listened. Zero scowled rather deeply, "_Kaname_ has been talking to you about _me_?"

'_Why?'_ was obviously the real question he was trying to ask. Thinking about Kaname talking to someone else about himself struck Zero as somewhat _odd_. He was beginning to feel the itchy sensation of unease which often arises when you find yourself the topic of gossiping. _What has he told Isaya? __**Why**_ _has he told __**Isaya**__? What did Isaya exactly mean by '_intriguing'_?_

Isaya bit his lip, guiltily darting his eyes to the side in a hasty attempt to be evasive. For the first time since he'd been shut in this small room with this stranger, Zero felt he had greater power, and it felt good. Though he felt vulnerable about what this new subject would reveal, he… he wanted to _know, _and that pushed aside all his reservations.

"What has he told you?" Zero probed further, eyes narrowed in curiosity. He watched the Pureblood squirm in his seat, and almost expected next to be made to be '_pinkie-sworn' _into secrecy.

Finally he spoke, though with a lowered voice and still shifty eyes, "He has told me many things, Kiryuu-kun,"

Zero rolled his eyes exasperatedly, "_What_ things?"

And then he was made to jump, again, when Isaya appeared close to him again, green eyes narrowed and suddenly hardened like shards of glittering emeralds – "Things involving consequences of _the past_," Zero's eyes shot wide open – "And how they have survived into the present, _Isamu-kun,_"

* * *

><p>The door was only slightly open, but it was wide enough a gap for him to slide in silently, and he pressed the door shut with the tips of his fingers, so carefully that the locks only made a small <em>click<em>. Approaching his target with equal care, to be as silent as a ghost, he toed off his shoes and unbuttoned the top three buttons of his shirt. Then he re-buttoned the third one, hesitating before the bed.

True to what Rima had informed him, passing him by on the corridor, the maids had somehow managed to move Shiki to his bedroom (because it was closer, they explained decorously, though with red blushes spotting their cheeks) and tucked him into bed without waking him. This was met with little surprise. Only amusement. And then, _longing_ –

To be beside him.

Takuma faltered, one knee on the bed, his fingers clutching the bunched quilt.

Shiki was facing away from him, and his sharp hips and shoulders created an alluring relief under the quilts. His thin waist dipped between them, creating a valley his arm was itching to nestle in. He could see pink feet peeking at the end of the bed and pondered on how the sleeping boy had managed to somehow wrestle his appendages free of the tightly '_tucked in'_ sheets. The toes twitched sporadically as he watched his friend – the habit of leaving his hot feet exposed to the chillier air was most endearing –

Takuma perched on his hands and knee, just _watching _and appreciating this amazing _feeling_ this _one person_, sleeping in his bed, drew from him. This feeling of _desire_ and tender affection. This burning heart aflame…

Never one to be poetic, Takuma stopped his thoughts at that point, finding his _cheeks _were rather aflame at the current moment too. He reckoned he was acting quite creepily, watching Shiki like this, but honestly? He couldn't bring himself to care. He was _here_. With him. Finally.

He reached out a hand, which he landed on the other side of Shiki's waist, making his arm a bridge above him. With that, he slowly shifted his weight onto the bed, though he kept his other leg off it – ready to pull back at a moment's notice.

As he swung into place, above the object of his desire, he found himself absorbing the _feeling_ with their growing proximity. The air was _infused_ with sweetness. He was instantly brought back to one of his favourite (secret stash of) shojo manga, where lovers confessed under willow trees, or under street lamps, or in exquisite gardens at midnight. They were in no such place – though the castle had lovely bedrooms. The bed was dishevelled, his (hopefully, soon-to-be) darling was facing away at him, and they _weren't touching_.

But… still – it was well into morning (not the most favourite time of day for most Vampires), and the filmy sheer curtain dimmed the pure light to comfortable levels. This pastel yellow-hued glow encapsulated the room in its softness, and _sweetness_, and a line of it lit Shiki's thin fingers clutching the sheets.

Takuma reclined in stages – shifting to curl above Shiki's head, so he could see his face; dropping his hips and stretching his legs behind Shiki's; finally resting his head on his propped arm so he could continue _observing_. His other arm dropped its weight slowly, distributing its length to curl around Shiki's waist – _freezing temporarily when Shiki let out a huff – _and settling his hand onto his stomach.

The warmth of his body was utterly _soothing_ and Takuma felt the exhaustion from the mission resurface. And so, he ducked down to dot a kiss on Shiki's head beforehechangedhismind – and pulled back with a smile, preparing to lie down and properly sleep the day away, only to meet –

Two hazy ice blue eyes staring at him, holding him completely transfixed by their placid authority, and he stared back, his face flushed in hot embarrassment.


	87. Can You Feel Me?

**Author's Note:**

**Again, *sigh* a long, long time between chapters. Sorry is all I can say. I hope you can forgive me, but January is a busy month full of mock exams and other pleasant things (she says with sarcasm). I've been chipping away at this chapter for some time, and the structure of it was really tricky. Most of the time was simply editing out unimportant things and rearranging the paragraphs to (hopefully) make sense. **

**I know it isn't KZ-centric yet. I know I keep promising you it will come. But it _WILL_ come. Please at least enjoy the brief fluffiness at the end of this chapter. The rest maybe a little tedious to read, for which I apologise. As you all know, I will bore you to death by saying: it's relevant, it's important blaaaah~**

**Basically, I think this chapter is quite a turnpoint in the story, on an emotional basis. Zero is starting to understand things concerning Kaname, as things are put into a whole new perspective - but _blah_. No spoilers.**

**BTW, what are your thoughts on teh fact that I have basically made the Hunters the ones who tend to cuss like bloody sailors all teh time? XD I dunno. It's something about their character - I just see them having less delicate speech. Not to say they're rough brutes, but... they swear a lot? Meh.**

**Forgive me for my tardiness, I really appreciate your reviews and support! Love you! Lub juuu~**

**- on a completely irrelevant side note, how is everyone's New Year's Resolutions going? Mine's already screwed! I had to rectify it... **

* * *

><p><em><strong>"A burden shared is a burden halved"<br>~ Werner Dekarski**_

_**"Love is the emblem of eternity: it confounds all notion of time: effaces all memory of a beginning, all fear of an end."**_  
><em><strong>~ Germaine De Stael<strong>_

* * *

><p>For a reason Zero could not fathom, the mere mentioning of <em>that <em>name felt like ice water thrown upon him. The shock was unpleasantly cold, trickling right down to the base of his spine.

"Needless to say, he has told me _everything _about you, and I am fully intrigued by it," Isaya repeated, eyes narrow – sharp, yet kind. He folded his elegant hands together, drawing Zero's reluctant gaze to his glistening claws which now looked only beautiful and not lethal. "The very person described to me – like some legendary hero – sits here before me in the flesh," his stool creaked in protest as he leaned even further forward, "And that this saviour, brought to us from the past, to save us _is here _– is nothing short of a miracle," he squinted up at him closely, "That you're here at all, Isamu-san, is wildly _stimulating_, to say the least,"

Zero shook his head, his chest aching at the _name _again. But despite hating hearing it, couldn't bring himself to speak out in protest either. Perhaps because he knew his efforts would be disregarded. _Let him believe what he wants to_, he thought resolutely, I_ know who I am, and that's all that matters_.

So he tried to curb any anger before it got ahead of him. It was only a name, after all. And Isaya clearly didn't know better – he didn't know who _he _was.

It was only a name.

"I _must_ ask you some questions," Isaya continued swiftly, oblivious to the anger he'd incited, and took Zero's limp hands clasped in his own. Zero hesitated from the contact, before nodding and replying with a resigned grimace.

"Well… if you _must_,"

And then Isaya was speaking a mile a minute – and as you would expect, Zero tuned him out. He wouldn't even be able to understand a word he was saying, _if_ he was listening that is, and anyhow, he was sure whatever he was going on about wouldn't interest him. More about '_Isamu's past_' and fawning over how excited he was that this was like a storybook he'd once read. Bah – nonsense. Drivel he simply wasn't interested in. But as he deafly watched Isaya, there was something distinctly _strange _which he couldn't quite pinpoint, something suspiciously _familiar_ about the way he lookedwhen he went all chirpy, and how he could go on and on about legends and fairy-tales. It was nagging at him, like he was someone he _knew_, but just couldn't remember –

Absentmindedly he realised that Isaya had released his hands, and to distract himself from his boredom, he played with his sleeves, but to his surprise they shook violently when he gripped them. When he squeezed them into balled fists to get his blood circulating again, the strength of his grip barely managed to whiten his knuckles, yet his hands still trembled with the effort. He frowned at the pitiful sight. Was he really his weak that he could not even move without shaking? His body had never been like this before, even during his worst sicknesses as a child. This wasn't the body he knew well, and it wasn't one he felt safe in, at all. Not only was he defending his real name from idiotic mule-headed Purebloods, but he was losing control over his body too. Zero bobbed his knees in seething annoyance, eager to throw the stupid socks away and leave the stuffy room. He wanted to _leave_. He wanted Kaname to just get them the hell out of there. That was the point of them being here – wasn't it? And surely the fifteen minutes were over by now. He peered behind Isaya's head, through the crack, to see –

Kaname and Kaien. Exactly the same way as he'd seen them before. Kaname was perched on the bed, holding his friend's hand tightly with his mouth agape – clearly halted mid-speech. It was like someone had frozen them completely. They were just… _unmoving_. Dumbstruck by this, Zero found himself gaping at the oddest scene he'd ever witnessed.

"I was wondering when you'd notice them,"

He balked, scattering dozens of socks about them as he leapt to his feet, "What have you _done_ to them?"

Isaya chuckled, "It's just a temporary time-freeze," he clicked his tongue when it dawned on him, "Ah, but… I suppose perhaps this is strange for you. You've never seen something like this-"

"_No shit_!"

"- but I _was _given permission by Kaname to do this. 'else he'd have freed himself of it already – his powers are much stronger than mine, you see. He says he hates it when I time-freeze him – says it's creepy,"

"It _is_!"

Isaya threw his head back in his laughter, "Your _face_-!" he choked, thoroughly enjoying the different levels of panic on Zero's face.

But Zero was not amused. He yanked open the door, squeezing through the tight gap to properly see with his own two eyes that – that yes. Somehow, time was frozen and only he and Isaya were moving in it. What _luck_...

"Have I frightened you?"

He laughed humourlessly, seating himself on the other side of Kaien on the bed and rubbing his face in exasperation and bewilderment. This was just plain _crazy._ "_No_, I'm just _very _uncomfortable with… _this situation_, because…" a glance at Isaya's mocking grin incited a flare of anger to blush his cheeks. _Screw it. _Before, his Vampire side had urged him to be cautious and polite around this Pureblood, but now he knew what an absolute nutter Isaya was, he didn't even care anymore. "I don't fucking trust _you, _and it's _you_ I'm stuck here with,"

Isaya laughed again, this time kindly, which did somewhat put him more at ease, "I see, but please – I mean you no harm. As I said before: I just need to talk to you. I can only hold time for a certain time limit anyhow,"

Zero nodded distractedly, his eyes now boring into Kaname resentfully, for… for letting him be taken away by this crazy, old Pureblood and encased in a time-bubble. He could only really trust that Kaname trusted him to be safe with Isaya. He had to trust Kaname – that he wouldn't lead him into danger, because now he was far_, far_ away from help's reach. Abruptly, he shook himself from his drifting thoughts again, moving his rather dour glare from Kaname to Isaya, "…Kaname must trust you a lot," _and if he doesn't, I'll kill him._

Isaya smiled slightly, "Pardon?"

He shrugged, "He let you time-freeze him," his death glare deepened, to his delight causing Isaya to flinch, "And he… he told you about _Isamu_. He…"

_Needless to say, he has told me everything… _

Zero's eyes widened as the true meaning of this struck him. Had Kaname really told Isaya everything? _Everything_ about him and Isamu? Wasn't that information he wanted kept secret? He barely told his closest friends the whole of his past, or indulged them any of the details. They knew _nothing, _yet Isaya knew 'everything'.Why was that?Was he someone Kaname trusted _more _than his friends? _Why?_

"Why?" Isaya grinned, "I've told you before. Purebloods usually only have a handful, if even that, of people they can fully trust their secrets with. But Kaname and I – we're one of a kind – well, _two_ of a kind. We made an exchange," he patted Kaname's stiff shoulder, "Of our past-stories and secrets – because only we can understand each other, you see. Not many Purebloods have Slept and Awakened like us, and I needed to share my burdens. The very reason for my hibernation was actually incredibly similar to his,"

Isaya's glassy green eyes rolled over to Zero's.

"The loss of someone dear to me…"

* * *

><p>"It must have been… twelve or so years ago when I Awoke. Only fifty years of Sleep past, and already everything around me had changed so much. Lucky for me, Kaien came to me within days of hearing of my return. He then spent an inordinate amount of his time forcing me through excruciating rehabilitation in the next few months, and attempted to integrate me back into the new world. But it frightened me, because nothing was the same. Nothing at all.<p>

"Also, I still carried with me my depression which had dragged me down in the first place, and I had no way to be rid of it. For all my years Sleeping, it had festered inside of me and only grown stronger, waiting for the chance to rage anew. My physical recovery was complete, but inside, my mental state was in tatters. And no one could see a thing – my demons were still haunting me," Isaya sighed deeply, "Even Kaien thought that I was completely better, when really I wasn't – but I don't blame him. It's natural to look for physical injury, not mental, not _emotional._ They couldn't _see_ that I was going mad. I needed understanding, I _needed _help, but the world was passing me by without caring. I've never felt so invisible, with so many people watching.

"When I began attending social functions – well – when Kain _forced _me to go to them, hoping I'd re-familiarise myself with society, I shied from them. I was paranoid and rejected almost everything and everybody. I was a broken soul locked in terrifying limbo, where nothing made sense and no one could see or hear me. Kaien had to leave me too – because my pain was infectious, and it was too much for him. But I was glad. I wanted nothing more than to be left alone.

"Before he left, he passed me into the kind hands of the Kurans – leaving it to them to keep an eye on me. We knew each other from long ago, but hadn't kept in touch since then, and I wasn't expecting them to receive me so graciously, but they went as far as to organise a ball in my honour. When I saw Juri and Haruka again, I saw that they had had children – Yuuki, only a babe in her mother's arms, and Kaname by their side. I was fully charmed by them, but at the same time – I was repulsed by the image of _perfection_ – their beautiful family, revived my memories of what had happened to mine, and all the nightmares that came with them.

"I left the party to escape it rising in me, but it followed me like a shadow. As ever – I wandered in the crowd and could not find one friend to guide me. So consumed by the gloom, I barely noticed that not only sorrow followed my footsteps, but a child.

"Kaname came after me – barely six years of age – and still, to this day I cannot express how captivated I was by him. There was something spiritual about that moment – he was otherworldly, possessing wisdom far beyond his years, and full of compassion. I knew then that he wasn't just any child. If I can ever give that moment justice, I would liken it to seeing _God_ in the flesh. It was the Original King standing before me, and I was so moved by him that I broke down in tears and…" at this point Isaya turned to Zero, his expression grim and taut, "Are you knowledgeable about my life? Have you read the books?"

Zero bit his lip, "Not really. I've read some books… I don't know everything, but…" he cringed, knowing roughly where the conversation was heading to, "…your _wife_?"

He barely whispered it – and yet a swift sharp intake of breath told him he'd hit the nail right on the head, and he'd seen Isaya's eyes flash with something too briefly to be properly identified, for it was instinctively masked with implausible impassiveness. Zero guessed it must have been something akin to heartbreak.

"Yes… my wife," Isaya agreed eventually, nodding, "It was many years ago," his eyes pooled, magnifying them into bright glistening peridots. But then he whipped around, eyes boring into his with a mark of terrifying wildness, "What did they write about her? Anything?"

Zero shook his head slowly, watching Isaya's mouth slide into a grim smile, bending his head so his hair curtained the top half of his face. "I'm not surprised," he scoffed scathingly, "She was a joke to them,"

"To who?"

"To everyone," he laughed bitterly, "The _world, _young one, hates those who _are different_. My wife was _very_ different, and _lord_ – did they scorn her for it. The nerve of them! To a Pureblood, even! It was only when I threatened bodily harm to anyone who dare slur her in my presence when finally stopped, and shunned her altogether. She blamed me for the silence that followed her thereafter, because from then on I rarely left her side, but it was better than the things they used to say. My wife was always different. She suffered for all her life the fear of insanity – the curse which has always plagued the Hio clan,"

_Hio clan_.

Zero's mind blanked at its mention. Hio – Isaya married into the _Hio's_. His wife was related to the one who had massacred Zero's family. Isaya supposedly knew _everything _about Zero, so he would be aware of this. Zero appreciated Isaya's tactful silence. His acting skills of indifference were superb. Some things were better left unsaid.

"Her name was Akane, due to her having unusually dark red eyes, instead of pink which many of the Hio's have," he said, "It was this which set her apart from her clan, and led them to believe that she _must_ be different. Also, she had passed the age when her clan tended to descend into the madness safely, and though this was good for her they envied her for it. Meeting her was like going mad in itself too – only that I did not resist it, nor would I ever retreat from her madness, so that I could be hers completely.

"We never Bonded because she was afraid she might infect me through the connection. It was her greatest fear – the thought of passing **it** onto our children, which was why initially she was against having children. But after much perseverance on my part, we had three _beautiful_ children – two girls and one boy. We lived in this bliss for some time, but unfortunately, as always… it never lasts.

"I don't know how it escaped our notice but gradually, alongside our peaceful lives, Akane was changing. I was always with the children, and she was slipping away. Hers had always been a calm, sweet temperament, but in brief episodes – this was completely stripped away to reveal her nightmare self. She would rip the wallpaper and claw at her own skin till it bled. She choked me in my sleep and screamed at the children. She knew this was the descent taking her, and like a flood she was doomed to its currents. We were not safe around her, and for my children, I had to… I _had_ to take them someplace safe. But when we left, she couldn't handle being by herself. I planned to come back to care for her myself, but in the exact moment when I returned – she _escaped _and disappeared with the children. I searched for them restlessly for two weeks. But by then, it was already too late.

"I found my daughters, my son – changed. To save them from the madness – to take them away from _me_ as my punishment – she turned them into Humans. And as it takes a Pureblood's life sacrificed to suppress a Vampire's nature, to change _three _children she… she was… I can remember her blood on my hands and her lying on the floor facing away from me, half her body gone in crystals… Words cannot express that sight, dear Hunter, words cannot encapsulate such torment.

"I lost all notion of time, confined to grieving and distancing from my suddenly empty world. By the time I'd managed to drag myself away from her grave, I realised my children were still out there and I ought to find them – but they were already grown into adults by then – the eldest two were married to Humans, my son already had children of his own. And now they belonged to _them_, to the _orphanages_ they'd been left at, to the foster and adoptive families they'd _loved_ and to the lives they had built for themselves – they no longer to _me_.

"Totally aghast, I restored their Vampire hearts out of spite, but to my horror the eldest two couldn't stand who they really were. They separated from their partners and then killed each other to escape me. My surviving daughter managed the change again, I assume only because she was not yet with a mate and therefore her life was more open to change. I taught her our Vampire ways, and was contented to watch her grow. It was only in later days when I realised – too long she'd lived as a Human, and this affected her Purity, meaning that despite being restored she was only Half-blood at the most. The mortal cycle of the Half-bloods could not keep her with me for eternity, so I knew that eventually, I'd lose her again.

"I still raised her like a Pureblood and brought her along with me to the balls and other social functions, and it was at one of these where she met a charming Pureblood and fell in love with him. They were Bonded, and I was so _proud. _He loved her dearly, and I grew fond of them together, until the day he decided he would only live for few more centuries before eternal rest, because he wanted to finish life when he was content, before his happiness faded. I wanted to kill him for shortening my time with my daughter even further – but that would have been a paradoxical in itself – the Bond, you see. Again, I could do nothing but watch someone I loved walk to her death. She promised me that she would give me grandchildren– even if their blood bound them mortal and I had to live on forever, they would keep me company. Their blood lineage is, to this day, one of the strongest after the Purebloods, due to her dormant Pure blood combined with his, but they exist under _his_ clan name,"

Zero's eyes widened in disbelief, _could it be-? _Well, there was all this evidence pointing to it being true_._ And now it made _sense_ – him having one of the strongest bloodlines in the Vampire world, _after_ the Purebloods. The fact that he and Isaya bore such striking similarities might _not _just be a coincidence.

"Are they…"

"The Ichijou clan," Isaya answered, confirming Zero's speculations from before. The pale wheat-blonde hair, elegantly wavy and – most of all, his heart-warming bright green eyes and enduring _cheerfulness_. This was Takuma's _Ancestor_ he was talking to! The thought was so bizarre – but the strangest thing of all was that it was _true. _Through all their similarities… Isaya really lived on in his descendents. "It's had to be kept secret – but I am now their spectator. Since my Awakening – since meeting Kaname, I have been watching over them in my own way. That boy… what's his name… _Ta- Takuma_?" Zero nodded, and Isaya grinned, "Is a spitting image of me, isn't he? He's a handsome boy, that one…" he chuckled proudly.

"Yeah… I – I guess," Zero cleared his throat awkwardly. He'd gotten so caught up with the story, but now, he really wondered what the reason was for telling him it. Was there something he was supposed to learn from it? If there was, he wasn't certain he'd succeeded. When he asked Isaya this, he received a gentle pat on the shoulder and a forlorn smile.

"Ah, yes. Sorry – there _is_ a point to all of this…" he sighed, "…I just – I can only conclude that, over time, even watching over the Ichijou clan didn't comfort me. I was still too raw from having my own family desert me, so when I felt seeing them grow and love was rubbing salt in the wounds. Even though my blood was theirs, they would never know it. After years of being a spectator I got so sick of the silence and stillness. My body knew no difference between night and day, of being awake or being asleep, and so I slipped unknowingly into a Sleep, and half a century passed me by.

"When I told my tale to Kaname at the party, and he told me his in exchange, I was moved. It gave us deliverance to talk to someone who could _understand_… and Kaname told me that his luck in being given a loving family was soothing most of the shock of Waking in a strange new world sweetly, and that I should seek my own people to love – friends, protégés or just – _anybody_. He told me that some unseen force was urging him bravely onwards, pushing him beyond his fears and giving him courage to believe that things will always get better somehow. A voice in his head, a scent he couldn't place… the strength that came from knowing that somewhere in this world, there was _you_,"

"Pardon?" Zero exclaimed, horrified to feel heat rise behind his ears – where his blushes grew from, "Did you just… but - _what?"_

Isaya chuckld, but the previous words kept spinning around his head: _…somewhere in this world was __**you**__... in this world was __**you**__… _Isaya sure knew how to word things in such a way that they stuck in your mind, and… that they sounded _wrong_. Zero inwardly laughed at his idiocy – Isaya was talking about Isamu when he said "you" obviously. Not _him_. Of course – _of course_, so he was being utterly _stupid_, because he _knew _that, and he _knew _that Isaya still liked to believe he was Isamu…

He replayed the conversation over – the tragedy of Isaya's life, through his head again, and though he felt waves of sympathy and compassion spilling out of his heart to Isaya's, he could see no significant reason for being told all of this. What was his point? Really, what was the purpose of him hearing all of this?

"I understand… Isaya-san, but why are you telling me all of this?" Zero urged, "I still don't…" he shrugged meekly.

Isaya smiled amiably at his perplexed face, "You don't understand?" he sighed, "It's quite logical really… if you know anything about what Purebloods are like, and particularly what _Kaname _is like, that is,"

Zero shook his head bluntly, "I don't. I really don't get you guys at all,"

This made Isaya laugh again, "Well, you have to try to see things from our perspective, I suppose," he explained, "I'm not telling you this because I like to share my sad background with everyone I meet, I'm also speaking on behalf of someone who _won't._

"I think you know very well that Kaname tends to keep to himself. It's unlikely he will ever be willing to divulge you his feelings on the past, not because he doesn't trust you, but because it would mean having to revisit so _many _terrible memories and in a most unflattering light. He'd hate for _you_ most of all to hear how flawed his choices have been. Many people think that Purebloods don't _feel_ emotions as deeply as 'normal people' do, but we _do_. We've simply learnt to hide them so those who want to use them against us can't, or we've stored them away for our own sanity.

"Our pasts are not identical, but the elements of them there are – we've lost our loved ones and hurt them time and time again, we've been tormented into Sleep, and thereafter we've Woken to find ourselves alone. I know how he feels, and I want you to know it too, because I owe it to Kaname to help him now in the only way I can – through _you_. You must clear him of his guilt before it eats him up inside,"

"_Guilt?_"

"Yes, guilt. There is no way to escape from it on your own,"

"Why would he feel _guilty_?" Zero frowned, "What did _he _do wrong?"

Isaya blinked, before he simply shrugged, "In essence, there is nothing to forgive. But to his mind – to mine, before – we cannot help but blame ourselves for everything that went wrong – for everything that hurt you, for not being there for you when you needed us the most, for not protecting you –

"There are so many reasons for our guilt, child – it just grows and grows until it becomes unbearable and drives you mad. There is nothing Kaname, or I, have done specifically wrong – we made decisions based on the only options left to us, when the chance of good outcomes either way were slim. But it has taken a huge amount of counselling from Kaien, and many _long_ cogitations on my part, to convince me around this view.

"At that ball, Kaname he inspired me to let go of the past – which I have started to do gradually. For Kaname, however, he fails to take his own advice – and though it _looks_ like he's moved on, I can see that he still clings to the past. He still bears the same guilt and burdens from the past – the latter of which is understandable, till Rido is dead. The guilt, however, is his own punishment to himself, and it's painful to watch him suffer silently and not be able to do anything. I know, more than anyone, how it feels to be so isolated.

"The root of his problem is his unwillingness to forgive _himself_. I have had to learn to forgive myself because there is no one else who is able to. But for Kaname, it's a different situation altogether, because you _are _here.

"You see, with the way you're acting now – oblivious to the past – he probably thinks you choose to act indifference over acknowledging it as a punishment. On the other hand, he knows you are the only one who can help him, but he won't dare approach you, afraid of your rejection. He is terrified of that reaction... because it is most likely to _destroy _him. I can't articulate how I imagine what it must be like – having you – if I had Akane here with me… I can't understand how he's not at your feet begging for forgiveness all the time,"

"I'd kick him in the head if he did that," Zero supplied bluntly, which made Isaya gurgle.

"That might be the reason," he laughed, sobering up very quickly, "But can you see why I needed to tell you everything? I hope you can understand. It was very difficult, and it took far too long for me to overcome my own guilt, but for Kaname – he has you here. You give him _hope._ If I hadn't told you this, you would never known – and I know for a fact that Kaname would never tell you these things. He'd hate to burden you with them, or make you feel troubled,"

"So you thought _you'd_ do the honours of making me feel troubled?"

The Pureblood laughed again, "I _am_ doing you a favour, believe it or not. You'll see it soon enough, and then you'll be thanking me,"

"Well _thanks_," Zero said acerbically, "You're basically telling me that… that Kaname wants my _forgiveness_… and because I _can _forgive him, I _should_-"

Isaya caught his arm, his brows drawn tightly together, and his voice was a quiet, grave sound, "I'm not telling you what to do, Isamu-kun. The decision to forgive him is completely yours. But… in your eyes, has he not suffered enough?"

Zero was thrown by the question. The answer was plainly _yes_. He'd never thought Kaname should suffer in the first place. He'd heard enough to appreciate Kaname's suffering, though he thought it was abnormally stupid of Kaname to have tortured himself over something so obviously not his fault. He thought that Kaname was a _logical _being. Then again, he supposed that, seeing as there was nothing he _could_ blame everything on, Kaname logically assumed the blame should go to himself.

He nodded in answer to Isaya, "But – well, doesn't he know I'm not Isamu? It's not _my_ forgiveness he really wants, and it's not mine to give,"

This did not provoke the response he had been anticipating – not a rebuke or even dismissal. Isaya instead shot him an enigmatic smile, placing his hands together palm-to-palm. Before he un-froze time, he darted his eyes to Kaname and then returned to Zero, and then he simply replied:

"Does that really matter?"

* * *

><p>Zero had wanted to retort – <em>fuck, <em>_**yes**__, it matters – _but then, all of a sudden, things fell into motion again as time surged forwards – first of all with Headmaster squawking loudly in surprise at their unexpected appearance on his bed. Beside him, Kaname blinked calmly, managing to close his mouth and swallowing his unfinished words from before without looking silly at all. He then turned his head slightly to regard Zero with a casual nod, yet even that simple motion brought heat swarming to his cheeks, for _shame_. They had been talking about him only two seconds ago, discussing his darkest secrets behind his back. He cursed his brilliant memory for replaying Isaya's haunting words over and over again in his head.

… _Does it really matter?_

What type of a question was that? Did he mean it didn't matter who this forgiveness was coming from, as long as it went to Kaname? Zero didn't believe Kaname would be that easily satisfied. He imagined only Isamu's forgiveness would gratify him. He met Kaname's look with his own steady stare, _too bad_, he mused, _the only one who can relieve his pain isn't here._ Would Kaname have to live with the guilt forever? Isaya was right – he couldn't see any such pain hidden in Kaname's eyes, or in any other way about him. But just because it wasn't visible didn't mean it wasn't there.

For some reason… Zero wished he could see it. Perhaps then he could believe it. And then he might –

"…I toldyou _not_ to – oh, _Isaya-kun_! You're terrible at packing-"

"- well, _no_, I think we've done a good job actually. There are enough for a good number of them to-"

"- I _said, _expressly, that we would _not_, under any circumstances, be arming the children with –"

The squabbling between Headmaster and Isaya jolted him out of his thoughts, bringing to his attention that he had been staring at Kaname for far too long – especially with Kaname now looking at him with distinct concern.

"Are you alright, Zero?"

"Yeah – sure. So, are we ready to go now?" he babbled, huffing for good measure when Kaname quirked an elegant brow.

"It's barely been five minutes, we still have ten,"

Zero sighed loudly, raising his own brow back in retaliation, "Don't act stupid with me. I _know_ you that know what we," he jerked his head towards Isaya, "Were doing all this time!"

Kaname slowly smirked glibly in amusement, "I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about,"

His eyes narrowed into slits, "Sure you don't," but then nudged Kaname insistently, becoming serious, "But aren't we meant to be getting the students out?"

This sobered Kaname up too, "We are, and we will – I just need to finish speaking with the Headmaster first," the mirth flashed in his eyes briefly again, "But if you think you can't handle Isaya for much longer (Zero muttered under his breath, "_Hell no,"_), your sensei is outside smoking. I'm sure he wouldn't mind the company,"

Zero _knew _Yagari _would _mind the company time (smoking time was _alone _time – no interruptions or intruders allowed), but after he'd thought about it for about a second, he nodded decisively and slid off the bed mattress to move towards the door. He hated cigarette smoke, but compared to staying with Isaya, he'd take the smoke, and the crabby sensei with it. The chatter behind him hushed abruptly – he guessed it was Kaname and Headmaster shooing Isaya back to his little room to roll his socks or whatever, so they could talk. He did _not _expect Isaya to come rushing after him – suitcase in hand and piles of socks stuffed under each armpit. Zero glowered back at Kaname – _this is all your fault – _he told him, because now Isaya was callously dragging him outside. Yagari-sensei was going to be _pissed_.

He was hauled by the scruff of his neck by Isaya and met Yagari with a fierce scowl on his face. His sensei also looked quite appalled at the unwelcome _company_, and the fact that immediately a pile of stinking socks were dumped into his lap too – _and _he was given instructions to roll them up. They sat on the floor too, and then Isaya cheerfully provided all the chatter quite, whilst the two Hunters reluctantly rolled the socks.

They got through three minutes of this, before Yagari threw a balled up sock at Isaya's head.

To both the Hunters' surprise, Isaya gasped as though the throw had been really painful and scrambled away from the sock, throwing his hands up as though to shield himself.

"The fuck?" Yagari grunted, throwing a harmless sock at him for good measure, "What are these even for?"

Zero murmured in agreement, "What could Headmaster possibly need this many socks for?"

Isaya's eyes twinkled, and he nodded to himself, taking one of the many sock-balls in his hand. He raised it to the others to see, "These," he said, pausing for dramatic effect, "Will be weapons,"

"…weapons?" Yagari laughed, "Weapons! You're gonna throw _socks _at the enemy?"

_They'll certainly faint from the smell_, Zero thought, wrinkling his nose when his sensei, rather absurdly chucked some at him too for good measure. He batted them away half-heartedly, eyeing Isaya who was studying the balled sock in deep interest. He was creeping him out again.

"_I _won't, they're for the _young ones_," Isaya explained, shutting Yagari up instantly, "_I _wanted to train them with real weapons, but Kaien refused to let any pointy, dangerous things near his dear sweet babies. So… he told me to make these… though after his reaction, I'm guessing he never actually thought I'd really make them. Anyhow, I suppose these are now…" he snapped his wrist, tossing the ball right down the corridor to the very end, "_Weapons_," Zero lost sight of it in the dim lighting, but he could hear it whistling through the air, and he needn't have looked for it for long. The next thing he knew –

_BAM!_

- his ears were ringing from the noise and impact and there was dust and the smell of burning and something else awfully _pungent. _Even from all the way down the corridor, the blast had shot tiny pieces of wood from exploded beams which Sunk bloodlessly at least half a dozen splinters into his shielding hands,and –

Did that ball of socks _really _just blow up?

Isaya fell to the side cackling uproariously, while they could hear the Headmaster's voice squeak in alarm behind the door, and then a series of hacking coughs. Zero blinked through the stinging dust, seeing Yagari looking just as bewildered by it. The dust then settled, instantly cleaning the air when Isaya made a deft hand-motion amidst his stomach-clutching hilarity, and coated them thickly with it.

"Oh my – well it looks like I'll have to modify them to detonate onlyupon _impact_. That one got off on a false foot, I'd say! Too much energy, I think… no matter, no matter! The next batch will be better, I suppose. Well then, let's brush up and head out -"

"_You – you – what's _wrong_ with – _stop **laughing**,_ you fucking _**lunatic**_!" _Yagari yelled, kicking Isaya square on his backside so he rolled over, still giggling like anything, onto his back. He emptied half the suitcase and rapidly began unrolling the socks in panicked haste, "You can't give fucking _bombs _to school-children!"

"It was either sock-bombs or actual weapons, Yagari-kun," he admonished, "Be _reasonable_. And anyway, these are much easier to use. If the enemy are coming up behind us – which I bet they _will – _the children will be well-equipped with these. They can just grab a sock-bomb and throw it and _bam! _It's not difficult at all -"

"They will _not _be touching these – these _things-_!"

"- really, quite safe. I've infused them with energy so they will detonate when a sudden force is _applied_ so – hey – what are you – Yagari-kun… _no!_ Stop! Desist! Zero-kun – he's – he's ruining _all of our progress_! Put them down this instant, you _beast_ – Zero-kun! Zero-kun, stop him –!"

"- just give them _grenades and revolvers and knives _too, why don't you? They're _fucking kids_, you nutcase! Fuck – don't touch me –"

Zero shoved the two apart, slamming them into either side of the corridor (though the narrow space that it was meant they were still, quite literally, in each other's faces with Zero sandwiched in between) by their faces – which meant by their _mouths, _so they'd _shut the hell up_. He somehow managed to twist his arm – just at the moment when the suitcase the two buffoons had been wrestling over toppled to the floor – and caught it with one tremulous finger hooked on the handle.

All three of them held their breaths… _they will detonate when a sudden force is applied _– Zero wondered – the way the two had been fighting over the suitcase had rocked them around with enough force and… he was holding an entire case full of _bombs_.

For a few seconds, they waited in tense silence. When nothing happened, Zero gingerly placed the suitcase at his feet, and then –

Mercilessly walloped the two adults over their heads with righteous glee, ignoring their pathetic yelps of pain. He rolled his eyes.

"_Grow up,"_ he intoned sharply, easily pushing past their stunned faces, "Dumbasses," he muttered under his breath.

"What's going on?"

The three of them turned to see Kaname standing in the doorway, supporting one side of Kaien with his arm around his middle – their conversation evidently concluded. Instantly Yagari and Isaya rushed over to help Headmaster, each taking a limb to hold whilst Kaname was shooed away without much protest. He came to Zero, again concerned at the sorry sight of him – covered in sawdust, plaster and splinters. He kindly swept a few pieces of wallpaper hanging on Zero's fringe and took his hands, carefully teasing out the splinters. To his surprise, Zero let this happen quite casually. He was too busy glaring daggers at the other two from over his shoulder, completely ignoring Kaien's hazy carefree smile.

Kaname's eyes lighted on something, and then with a twitch of his lips, removed a fragment of sock from his shoulder.

"Ah, I see the sock-bombs are working!" Kaien called out cheerfully from his place, arms hooked over their shoulders. He beamed, "Excellent!" then he pouted, "Gave me an awful fright though!"

"'s the bloody point, fool," Isaya muttered with a proud grin, "And you said you didn't _like _the idea," he nodded at the suitcase, which promptly refilled itself neatly (even the socks rolled themselves back up, Zero thought begrudgingly – so getting him to do the work had all been a _ruse_… the sneaky bastard) and lifted into the air behind them as they started to walk.

Just as Yagari opened his mouth to speak, Zero shot him a warning glare.

"It _is_ a good idea," he defended, feeling rather protective of the sock-bombs _which had taken up a lot of his freaking time to do_, "And it took a bloody long time to do too," he glowered resentfully at the self-rolling socks. _The old coot could have done it all himself and saved me the trouble... _"So _don't_ you dare touch them,"

Yagari looked markedly taken aback, but acceded per Zero's request, simply tipping his head in a half-nod and levelling his rival on the other side of Kaien with a sneer (acting like _children_ in Zero's opinion). Zero turned to Kaname, humming appreciatively as he carefully removed another splinter, "Are we ready to go now, then?"

Kaname nodded, "Yes, we are," and with this he released his hand, and they walked away from the secret room, clouds of bomb-dust lifting underfoot.

The doors to the basement were – again, hidden. Zero had never realised what secrets the lower study hall mantel held, till he saw it being the only part of wall still standing up in that part of the Academy. It stood out like a sore thumb amongst the rubble. Now he understood why the students had been attacked so many times with a target as observable as this. There was only one way in too, so the Level Es could back them down into the basement, and trap them there.

The mantel was horribly scratched and had blood smeared on it too, dusts from dead Es griming it up. Zero watched Yagari swap places with Kaname and crouch down to crawl into the blocked in firebox cavity. There, he knocked sharply onto the wall.

There was nothing at first, and then they heard the whispering of all the children inside, squirming in fear and impatience.

"It's Yagari-sensei, open up," he called, rapping the wall again.

"No! Prove it!" came a voice from inside. Yagari rolled his eyes. "We're not opening up till you tell us the password!"

Yagari gaped, and then snarled, "You brats! There _is_ no fucking passwo-"

"Toga-kun – _language!_" Kaien screeched – outraged, though he hung limp like a noodle from Kaname and Isaya's shoulders.

The murmur of voices crescendoed, and then there were exclamations of "_The Headmaster!" – "It's Headmaster Kurosu!" – "He's back!" _and the deep groan of rusty cogs turning the sliding wall open a little. As it cracked open, from it tumbled Kaito, who gurgled and scrambled onto his feet with a whimper. An assortment of curses accosted their ears, and many other hisses and groans of discomfort from the children inside.

"My eyes," he whined, rubbing them – only then did everyone realise that it was well into the morning now, and much brighter. He blinked rapidly, scrunching up his face, and then Kaito huffed irritably, "Great, I feel like a fucking _Vampire_ now…"

"Kaito-kun!" Headmaster scolded again, making it his job to censor his students from the improper language around them, even as he was scowling pathetically from his place. Kaito blinked his eyes a few more times, wincing when he turned to face them – where behind them the pink Sun was beginning to rise. His eyes froze as they passed over the Headmaster, and he rubbed them once more, before sighing in a mix of relief (he's alive!) and regret (he's really hurt…if only I –).

"_You _try hiding the bloody dark for god knows how long and then stepping into this burning Sunshine, old man!" he snarled, concealing his concern for the Headmaster behind the typical '_grouchy Hunter'_ default routine all the Hunters tended to adopt. He squinted up at the sky masochistically, "_Bleeding_ _Christ_, it _burns_…"

"Please step aside," Isaya instructed coolly, Yagari and he both levering Headmaster into a better position to be eased down the chute. He spoke dryly, "It's much more pleasant for us if we don't have to melt in the Sun, or burst aflame, Hunter,"

"_So-rry_," Kaito snapped, causing the remaining visible eye and mouth of Headmaster to admonish him with tongue-clicking and a one-eyed stern _look_. "Sorry," he repeated more nicely, though he subtly booted Isaya's rear through the final push into the space, Yagari sharing a wry grin with him at the Pureblood's undignified yelp.

Zero was watching the Sun though.

Its soft pinkish hue, incandescent gold merging with the plum-coloured sky and bruised lilac clouds, bulbous and heavy, but softened in the cusp of the Sun's rays – this was the morning he'd forgotten. It was mesmerising, but the glare made his eyes water and the heat was already making him sweat. He remembered the first night after being Turned, when he'd sat at a window all night to watch the moon and stars, and when the morning Sun rose, he'd screamed as the first rays touched his face.

Now, his Hunter blood protected him from it, and he knew he could face the Sun without burning… but it was never the same after that first morning. For him, the Sun had lost much of its beauty, and he could never look at it again without remembering… and he faced the harsh reality that he no longer belonged to the Sun, therefore he could not trust it. It was the greatest betrayal, the bitterest pill he'd ever had to swallow.

When he saw Yagari's hand slipping out of the crack to quickly retrieve his hat, he realised it was just him and Kaname left outside, and Kaname was watching him expectantly, though his gaze was unexpectedly docile. He didn't feel rushed by the look, even with his sunlit skin stinging and urging him to hurry into the basement. He even amazingly felt as though he had plenty of time to look over Kaname's sunlit beauty and appreciate it in its rarity, amazed that he could not remember ever seeing Kaname exposed so boldly to the daytime. The Sun – something so incongruous with Vampiric life, still adorned Kaname with an otherworldly splendour. His sharp features cast half into shadow, the other half glowing white gold and his auburn hair ablaze. How ironic – how impossible it was that Zero could feel dehumanised by this Vampire's presence, since he fit in both day and night time. With a flashback to the Coronation when again, Kaname's spectacular image had enthralled him, he was fully convinced now – Kaname was a King of both _Worlds. _He had to be. He was unbearably handsome by the Sun, _and_ the Moon. It didn't seem fair.

Kaname then blew a strand of hair out of his face and twisted around to see something beyond Zero's capable vision, furrowing his brow in concentration. Zero continued to unashamedly admire him, uncaring to how aberrant this was of him. Even though the basement beckoned, he was waiting to see when Kaname would speak.

Kaname turned back to him, frowning slightly.

"The Sun won't keep them away," he said, meaning the Es. Zero nodded – he knew Es, with their ex-Human bodies to shield them, could face Sunlight unharmed. It was the only strength they had against higher Vampires –

His eyes widened in shock – so wasn't Kaname hurting in the Sun? His thoughts on Kaname being a King of sunlight were just off a whimsy. He scanned the Pureblood for blistering or reddish skin, but only found his perfect face and a questioning look directed at him.

"They are coming," Kaname informed him evenly, to which he nodded again in understanding, and he began to crawl into the mantel when it appeared that Kaname wouldn't go before him. Just as he crouched into the opening though, Kaname pulled him back by the shoulder and he craned his head back to regard his staid expression. "I will not be coming with you,"

Immediately Zero twisted around, "What?" Zero felt an unexpected pang of concern, "Why not?"

"He is coming with them, and he is calling for me," Kaname explained grimly, gesturing to the beyond that Zero couldn't see, "And as he is still my Master, I cannot refuse him,"

"Rido? _Rido_ is calling for you?" How could Kaname answer to Rido? Did he hold that much power over him? The thought troubled Zero, especially when Kaname obstinately stared off, avoiding his question – which itself provided his answer.

"I have to stay here-"

"You can't face him _alone!"_ Zero exclaimed, yet again startling himself by the conviction in his voice. But it was true – how could Kaname expect to face Rido off when he couldn't kill him? He was his Master – so Kaname was at the disadvantage. He wanted to smack Kaname for daring to smirk at him knowingly.

"He won't harm me. That isn't his intention this time – he wants to discuss something with me," he explained, but the words just didn't convince to Zero. How could Kaname say them so calmly? The enemy was asking to meet with him, and he was willing to go – could he not see the dangers in that decision? "I'll be fine. You'll go with the others-"

"I can stay with you-"

"Zero-"

"The _Bond-"_

"_No_, Zero," he insisted firmly, "You must lea-"

"_Kaname,_" Zero practically yelled, "How can you be so _naïve_? You _can't_ go to him like _that_! You can't hand yourself over like this! It could be a trap-"

"Calm down. You think I haven't thought of that? I'm not totally brainless, you know – I know him and how he behaves – and I know he won't plan to hurt me yet. He's waiting for the right time, so I'll be safe till then. I'll be _fine_, Zero," he nudged him forwards, "Let's go now. They'll be wondering…"

They slipped into the darkness, finding the warmth of the sun sucked away with the disappearing light, and yet the heat of so many bodies in one small space meant they could barely feel the difference. The blue spots in his vision were horribly disorientating, so he stood completely still to wait for his night vision to set in, but he could feel the students bustling around him, and specifically he could hear the delighted voices of the many younger ones crowding around the Headmaster (and his equally overjoyed voice in return). And when he began to be able to see shapes in the darkness, he saw the students and the discernibly larger shape of Yagari attempting to climb across them without squashing anyone's feet. Isaya was easy to spot from his incessant chattering, and him distributing sock-bombs to all the children and explaining how they worked. The two taller silhouettes had to be Kaito and Kaname, so he headed towards them.

But in that moment he was cast into darkness again – this time because of a student closing the remaining slither of the entranceway and shutting out all the dim light it had provided. Zero blinked hastily, hoping he could adjust again, but when Kaito called for him to hurry up, he had to move on blindly.

Several whimpers of trodden feet and hasty apologies later, and Zero caught up and found the two walking just ahead of him. He carefully managed to squiggle around so he could walk beside them, and when he felt something warm brush against his hand, before he could even think about it he twisted his hand around to hold the other hand –

"Zero?" Kaito asked, sounding understandably bemused. Zero gasped, apologising and immediately dropping his hand like a hot potato and wiping his on his trousers. He felt, rather than heard Kaito's amusement, imagined him shaking with laughter silently. It was almost too much to bear, only the silence and darkness mollifying his hot blushing cheeks and utter indignity. "Scared of the dark?" he cooed good-naturedly, somehow managing to parry every angry punch Zero shot at him.

Zero fell back to put distance between them, ears burning when he heard Kaito laughing out loud. How embarrassing, especially with somebody like Kaito – the sort who weren't exactly malicious bullies by nature, but still compulsively sought to embarrass you at any chance they got. Why had he done that? It wasn't something he often did – holding people's hands. But Zero knew the obvious reason. It was all-too-easy to remember the pitch black corridors in the Hanadagi Castle and how he'd trustingly held _someone's_ hand throughout. It had been instinctive – turning his hand ready to accept, who he'd thought to be…

Crap…how embarrassing was this? Even admitting it to himself, he was embarrassed. He'd _hoped_ it would be the same person again –

But as he was thinking that, he felt another warmth brush the back of his hand. This time he batted it away, thinking it had to be Kaito now come back to make further fun of him. But the hand was unexpectedly determined to take his own, and slide them palm-to-palm with him. He felt long fingers curl around his own, a thumb caress his knuckles – hoping that it wasn't Kaito fooling him – he accepted the other's hand.

"_Headmaster_!" he heard Kaito call, making him jump and almost release the hand. But Kaito's voice was far off ahead, confirming that it was not he beside him. "_Shit_. He's still all the way back there – fine. Yeah, sensei it's okay, I'll go get him," he slinked back nearer to the entrance to collect the Headmaster who was still surrounded by his adoring children.

Zero was led to the back of the basement, feeling his way with the gradient of the floor tipping downwards, and the air getting danker as they walked deeper underground… and the hand navigating him. Behind him he could hear Kaito assembling the children (ordering them into silence, and surprisingly they obeyed) and telling them to follow them. Meanwhile, feeling the pulse in Kaname's thumb beating against the back of his hand, the rub of fabric-on-fabric whenever his arm swung, and smelling his rich, sweet scent…

He wondered… how was it that he was now able to recognise Kaname's hand in his and his scent in complete darkness, and…

What that exactly that _meant._

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Second Note:<strong>

**Hey guys. I forgot to tell you this - I found this awesome song. It really conveys the dynamic between Kaname and Zero best IMO. It's called "Eric's Song" by Vienna Teng. I love the lyrics, and how... well, if you listen to it, you'll hear that it isn't a conventional song. It's unlike anything I've heard anywhere else.**

**I think I'll put up blocks of lyrics in some of the chapters. They fit in really well!**

**So, without further adieu~**

_**Eric's Song**__** by Vienna Teng (only some of it!)**_

_Strange how you know inside me  
>I measure the time and I stand amazed<br>Strange how I know inside you  
>My hand is outstretched toward the damp of the haze<em>

And of course I forgive  
>I've seen how you live<br>Like a phoenix you rise from the ashes  
>You pick up the pieces<br>And the ghosts in the attic  
>They never quite leave<p>

And of course I forgive  
>You've seen how I live<br>I've got darkness and fears to appease  
>My voices and analogies<br>Ambitions like ribbons  
>Worn bright on my sleeve<p> 


	88. I Leave It to You

**Author's Note:**

**It's been a long time. Again, I'm very sorry. Hopefully the sheer... length of this chapter will allow you to forgive me? ."**

**Please listen to the song "_Eric's Song" _by _Vienna Teng. _It's a beautiful song with lyrics that seem... made for this story. I recommend it to you!**

* * *

><p><em><strong>"Human progress is neither automatic nor inevitable... every step toward the goal of justice requires sacrifice, suffering, and struggle; the tireless exertions and passionate concern of dedicated individuals,"<strong>_

_**~ Martin Luther King**_

_**"But to see her was to love her, love but her, and love forever,"**_

_**~ Robert Burns**_

* * *

><p><em>Two hazy ice blue eyes staring at him, holding him completely transfixed by their placid authority, and he stared back, his face flushed in hot embarrassment.<em>

The kiss prickled his lips with a guilty burn, and yet the deep pleasing fragrance and silky texture of his hair stole his attention away, mostly because it spilled like a bloody red river across the pillow and its scent permeated the distance between and he could feel some of it trapped under his ear and all of this provided a good distraction from those eyes… those beautiful but terrifying eyes. This was Shiki in his usual state – half-asleep, as innocuous and mild as a dozy newborn kitten, and yet… Takuma was absolutely terrified of him. Takuma sometimes said that Shiki was born with the eyes of the Buddha – he naturally possessed a languid yet concurrently piercing stare, which he used to harass Takuma in an extraordinarily flippant manner.

His weighted eyelids lazily drifted shut, and it felt like this was his rejection. He'd decided that he didn't like the kiss. For Takuma, it felt like his stomach had dropped out, and a flare of panic forced him onto his knees and hands again, so he caged Shiki underneath him. His own caged heart pounded painfully somewhere between his ribcage and his throat. Shiki opened his eyes to see Takuma's frantic face directly above him.

"…Sen, I'm so-" but the words of apology stuck in his throat, because really? He wasn't sorry at all. Takuma choked on his own tongue as his words dried up in his mouth, baffled by the multitudinous thoughts whizzing about his head in such wild disarray –

And then Shiki _smiled_, and his mind effectively crashed, because it was just… it was _really _unfair that Shiki could do _that_, because he _knew _what effect his smile had on Takuma. His excellent diction deserted him and he couldn't function normally in the instance of that _smile_ – which was a _ridiculous_ reaction, because logically he knew Shiki's smile was only composed of a brief flash of straight teeth and crinkled-up eyes and a healthy blush dusting the tops of razor-sharp, high cheekbones. And yet, it was because it was _Shiki_ smiling (and that smile was so damn rare) it had the most profound effect on him. It made him melt inside, and horrifyingly enough, the only word he could find to describe the feeling was "smushy", and he despaired over how his vocabulary was regressing as well as his control of his body. But it was true that he was turning into a gooey, boneless mass and it made him shake violently on his quaking hands and knees. He cleared his throat and tried again, "Senri, I-"

"Quiet," the word was spoken as it commanded, in a silvery voice so whispery quiet yet it not only managed to silence Takuma instantly, but arrested his breathing too (his heartbeat was a different matter altogether, hammering against his ribcage with the earthquake-force of an enraged gorilla). It was also Shiki's slim white finger resting on his lips which stopped him in his tracks. Shiki's eyes were still crinkled in crescents, echoes of the smile traced his lips, and he looked conspicuously pleased which made Takuma wonder –

"Taku… sometimes you need to shut up and listen to me," he reached up to lazily tangle his fingers in Takuma's shirt collar, and then drag him down fully on top of him, _dangerously_ close (nose-to-nose close) – "Everything's fine," he smoothed his hands over Takuma's trembling shoulders, plunging one in his thick hair and resting the other on his shoulder. Takuma's breaths were coming out in a staccato of panicked huffs against Shiki's face, but he didn't seem to mind. He was sure he was about to have a full-blown heart attack because he'd never had his heart go like this before, and he knew his face was probably the colour of Shiki's hair by now too.

Shiki wet his lips, and naturally, Takuma's eyes flew to them –

In time to see the pink tip of tongue slip away, and thin lips quirk into what could only be described as a devilish smirk. He clutched at the bedsheets desperately to ground himself. _Did he just lick his lips? Lord help me…_ A flush of electric heat crackled all the way through his body –

"We're finally together…" Shiki continued, his mellow voice a great contrast to Takuma's raging hormones and pseudo-love-induced heart-attack. He quite enjoyed Takuma's weight on him, and he loved feeling Takuma this close, so he held on even tighter, "…and, it's not a dream either," he finished shyly. Rather belatedly, Shiki realised the implied meaning behind his words…

But he couldn't correct those implications, because they were absolutely true.

The words conveyed exactly what he meant. He wasn't _dreaming_ anymore. For the first time in ages, because Takuma was here with him, he was peaceful and at ease in his own mind, safe from Rido's clutches and perfectly _himself_. Being watched and manipulated for so long had left him _unbearably_ paranoid. Even being alone – completely alone – in a room did not cure the fear of being watched by unseen eyes by the person who managed to use his body as a puppet… but finally, with Takuma here… Shiki felt that a weight had been lifted. A burden shared.

Takuma's arms were shaking so violently under his weight and boneless state that eventually he _had _to drop down. He blamed it on gravity, which coincidentally ended with him crashing onto Shiki's parted lips. Before Takuma could move back Shiki locked him in place, winding his arms even tighter around the breadth of his shoulders and his legs around his legs. It was decided – unintentional or not, this kiss would not be easily forgotten in his lifetime.

The kiss was far too vicious to be felt with any real pleasure, and inexperienced to the point where they froze, uncertain of what to do next. Pressed against the mattress, Shiki found his entire view was Takuma – his arms cloaking him in his scent, his weight crushing their racing heartbeats together, and their lips connected – an introduction into a whole new scope of intimacy that friendship didn't allow – the most intimate taste of Takuma's lips. He violently shuddered as Takuma's lips slicked wet with the addition of his tongue sweeping across his curiously before retreating shyly.

Takuma's head was spinning, though he wasn't sure if it was from their noses colliding so violently, or the exquisite taste and scent of Shiki saturating his mind, or perhaps… because he'd stopped breathing for a while now, and his brain was quite insistent that he do so before he faint. They separated with a satisfying _smack_, hearts pounding, faces flushed, and eyes rounded in awe.

This was them crossing a definite border between friendship and something much deeper and scarier_. _They knew this and though it would be safer to turn back now, they knew they couldn't, or rather – they didn't want to. Because it was impossible to deny it any longer, because it was beyond their control, and happening right before their eyes…

Takuma ducked forwards to eagerly press another kiss to his lips, gentling it after he realised he could taste blood between their mouths, "Why haven't I said it before?" he panted, bright-eyed and perfectly radiant in his new-found affection, "I've always known– I love you. Senri, _I love you_…" pressing his nose to Shiki's temple and breathed him in deeply, "We could have… we could have done this a long, long time ago, you know?" he sighed, breathy with emotion, "I think… we've been tricking ourselves into pretending things could stay the same, but inside we _knew…_ All this time, we could have had _this_…"

Shiki hummed thoughtfully, tilting his head back to see – and feel – Takuma nod after another moment, "We could have," he tilted his head to the side curiously – it was true – now that he thought about it. There _were_ signs everywhere – really obvious (clichéd) ones, like the fact that they could be always found together and that they could finish each other sentences and communicate with only their _eyes_ –_basically_ they already acted like an old married couple. Their friendship was a charade to hide their growing feelings, all this time. And if that wasn't enough to convince them that they were meant to be together, nothing ever would. There was a small pang of regret for time they had wasted ignoring their feelings, but Shiki didn't dwell on it that much. In his opinion, no time spent with Takuma could ever be deemed '_wasted'. _

He smiled serenely, "But it doesn't matter, Taku," he insisted, "Sure, we were too cautious, and that may make us cowards, but we're together now, and that's all that matters," and after Takuma smiled back at him, he turned them on their sides facing each other and flung his arm across Takuma's waist, propping his chin on his shoulder, "So, tell me," he instructed, rolling his neck back, "What have you been up to?"

Telling Shiki everything took a good half hour, during which Takuma's couldn't control his urges, constantly breaking away mid-sentence to kiss Shiki, to adoringly caress his face and hands, or biting his lip to try to stop him thinking about kissing some more. Now that he had permission to touch Shiki as he liked, he was utterly weak to the temptation. But as he came to the end of his accounts, he found the dregs of his formerly cheerful mood ebbing from a dominating onslaught of guilt. And he knew exactly where, or rather who, the guilt came from.

"This… soldier," Shiki said after a period of silence, hearing Takuma hum in response, "He must be very brave, especially for a Human," Shiki didn't know much about Humans, but he presumed they were bound to be as self-preserving as any other race.

"Yes, I suppose he is," Takuma mumbled, finding himself averting his eyes clouded with shame when he thought about _Boy_. The dreadful scene of the E-attacking him, and the hot gush of Boy's blood wounds hitting the air – flashed in his mind. Takuma knew right then that he would forever bear this hollow guilt if Boy _didn't_ _pull through_.

"Do you know his name?"

Takuma shook his head numbly, "I never got round to asking him it," this truth adding more the mounting guilt.

In a way, this summarised the sad fact of war –in war, you often never got to know the people you fought alongside. In his experience, Takuma actually tried not to get to know his comrades too well at all. He knew that it would just come and bite him in the ass if he did, since in such dangerous circumstances making friends was risky to oneself – it transformed strangers into _people_ in your life who mattered to you, and that was bad because – how were you then supposed to cope with the immense losses of so many people – so many _friends – _now dropping dead around you like flies? You'd go mad with grief.

This avoidance went both ways – on the plus side it meant you could protect yourself from a lot of painful loss. On the downside, it also meant you'd never forget those nameless faces – those brave strangers who'd sacrificed themselves for you, unwaveringly – and they would _haunt you_. Because you'd regret selfishly never taking the chance to know them, just to protect yourself. Because they'd selflessly given their lives for you, and you couldn't even go to thank their families, because as far as you knew, they had no name.

Another drawback in this system was that heartless anonymity did not foster trust as readily or willingly as friendship did, and trust that was a pretty vital thing between soldiers. Boy completely lacked any self-preservation. He walked right beside Takuma, undaunted by their differing statuses (much to the consternation of the other Soldiers), and chatted to him incessantly to "break the ice". Boy practically forced a friendship on Takuma using a mix of his mere will-power and his own annoying personality, and somehow managed to worm his way into Takuma's heart in the ridiculously short space of time they'd known each other, and _now_...

And now –

Shiki nodded expressionlessly and freed himself from Takuma's arms, legs, and the sheets, and rolled neatly off the bed. He jerked his head at Takuma, clearly demanding he do the same, which he did, though with a curious smile. Shiki took him by the hand, carefully locking their fingers together, "The Infirmary, did you say?"

"Yes – but, why-?"

"We're going to see him,"

"Senr-"

"_Come on_, Taku," Shiki huffed, showing steel most people didn't credit him with when he rolled his eyes as Takuma spluttered and tugged him along, "Don't be difficult,"

They hurried to the Infirmary after which Takuma took over, taking Shiki to Boy's bed (a glance to the next bed showed him that Aidou had been moved elsewhere or he'd been discharged from his bed), where they discovered him grey-skinned and slightly frowning in his sleep. This made Takuma feel even less deserving of his sacrifice as he questioned how could he be so selfish, smiling and enjoying himself when the one who he owed his life to was like… _this._ How could he leave Boy all alone and suffering when he'd stayed by him? The least he could've done was be there by his side – instead of indulging his own desires in seeing Shiki.

"He's very pale," Shiki remarked, and frowned, "But why is he this bad? You said yourself that you managed to kill the E in time…"

"But the E still managed to make him lose a lot of blood, and even though I bound the wounds, he bled all the way till we reached the Castle. The doctor told us that it's mainly blood-loss that's weakened him, but as well as this – even though Humans can't be Turned by low-Vampire venom, even an E's venom can be harmful to them. The E injected venom into the bite, and this venom is acting like a virus attacked his immune system, and this therefore has left his body open to other diseases to attack-"

"So he's been infected-"

Takuma nodded, "-if you think about it this way – the immune system has only a limited ability to defend the body against diseases. Right now it is being fully ravaged and blocked by the E's venom. His immune responses cannot deal with this _and _other infections at the same time, so he is also much more vulnerable to other infections. The doctor is not confident in administering Vampire medicines to him, and we cannot give him blood either, so really, there's _nothing_ we can do,"

"It's not your fault," Shiki blurted, worried about the self-loathing he heard in Takuma's voice. He carded his fingers through his hair comfortingly, "I know you care about him, but you can't blame yourself-"

"You don't get it – he might not make it, Senri," he whispered, "And if he doesn't make it, I won't be able to forgive myself," he spun around so he could wrap himself in Shiki, almost capsizing the both of them with his weight, but Shiki managed to support him and hold him till his shivering ceased. He peered reverently over Takuma's shoulder at the one who saved him – this Human, this _person,_ who was mad and yet courageous, who chose to risk his own life to save the life of someone he barely knew…

He had never felt so such overwhelming appreciation for someone he didn't know. Shiki understood the reason for the immeasurable gratitude he felt towards Boy. _Takuma could be dead if it weren't for you… so, thank you._ His eyes drifted to Boy's heart monitor, his oxygen mask and the tangle of tubes and needles. His ashen face and painful scowl. _Thank you._

To think that Rido was so keen to rid the world of these… Humans. Strange. He'd never really had paid much attention to Humans either way, other than for blandly receiving their fanatic adoration from his modelling career. Before joining the Academy and Kaname's lot, he'd only treated Humans as being another species Vampires shared the planet with. But now – now that he owed his mate's life to a Human, he suddenly felt humbled by the noble heart of this compassionate race. He also felt a sudden desire to help finish this war so that Humans would triumph, not only in thanks to Boy himself, but so that Takuma could walk alongside his Human friend in peace. He hummed soothingly when Takuma sniffed wetly, stroking his hair as he studied Boy's face with growing curiosity. It was just a speculation, but even under the oxygen-mask, and ignoring the disturbing paleness of his face, he could see… there was a startling likeness…

"Taku,"

"Hmm?"

He shook urgently Takuma when it was clear he wasn't listening (instead he was brooding on Shiki's shoulder), "_Taku_,"

"What?" the blonde opened his eyes blearily and tilted his head a couple degrees to sniff at Shiki's jaw.

"_Look_… he looks like-"

His fascinated tone made Takuma's head shoot up in alarm, catching his ear on Shiki's as he swivelled round to face Boy with wide eyes, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," Shiki soothed, hushing him like he was an agitated puppy, "I'm just looking at him and, well, don't you think he sort of… looks like _you_?"

"Eh?" Takuma's eyebrows valiantly attempted to meet his hairline and then drew together like magnets. He studied Boy's face, ignoring its sickly pallor and instead concentrating on his features: a long straight nose, pointed jaw and the distinctive upwards tilt to the edges of his lips even in sleep. Now, Takuma was not by any means _vain_, but he knew what he looked like, and it _was_ pretty unbelievable how… _correct_ Shiki was. He was staring at a variation of _his_ _own_ face, on _Boy_. (Albeit, he couldn't remember what colour Boy's eyes were, and his hair was dark brown instead of flaxen like his – but still the same wavy texture as his own.)

He examined Boy for a few moments more, trying to wrap his head around it, "This is… that's really quite something, isn't it?" he laughed feebly, finding that the more he stared at Boy's face, the more he saw their resemblances. It was weird. It was _uncanny_. He had never noticed – and he would have never noticed something like this without Shiki's observation – of which he was now regretting because he couldn't peel his eyes away from his look-alike.

Shiki hummed and folded his arms, "He could be your… distant cousin, or something,"

Takuma's tight smile twitched, "No way,"

But the redhead nodded resolutely, "I'd say so,"

"I _wouldn't_…"

Shiki shrugged passively and changed the topic quite abruptly, "How is Aidou?"

Takuma turned his attention to the empty bed next to Boy. He moved towards it slowly, finding the pristine sheets somewhat disturbing, the general implications that came with clearing a hospital bed were unpleasant (he shook them off like a wet dog – there was _no way_ Aidou could be dea-) and apparently, contagious. Shiki appeared to have caught drift of what he was thinking, but he shook his head confidently – Aidou must have been discharged.

He truly hoped Kain hadn't terrorised the staff into releasing him, but – who was he kidding? This was Kain he was thinking of – of _course _he'd done just that. Kain wasn't selfish or stupid, and would never jeopardise Aidou's health, but… Takuma was worried that, in his need to have Aidou, he may have forgotten about how the move to his room may affect the nurses' and doctor's access to Aidou. He hoped Aidou's health was not compromised by the move, and that Kain hadn't scared off the staff too much, otherwise they wouldn't come to check on him. With closer inspection to the bed, he drew back with a wince.

Cinder-marks, the shape of a large handprint – the same singing colour which typically marked old ironing boards – marred the edge of the mattress, barely concealed by the strategically placed covers. When he tugged away the rest of the neat covers he found another handprint. Takuma scowled when he figured out what Kain had done. Crouched down, he could see that the reason why the nurses hadn't changed the damaged bedsheet was because it was fused to the plastic case. Kain must have put on a good show – torching his hands on the smoking bed, his massive body curled over Aidou protectively, bellowing for his release from the Infirmary in his surprisingly demanding voice.

Poor nurses. They wouldn't have stood a chance. Takuma couldn't help but chuckle whimsically as he smoothed back the covers. Kain would really do _anything _to be, or stay around Aidou. His mind went back to their little heart-to-heart in the very same room, and smiled – Kain wasn't someone he'd usually go to for guidance, but he'd been surprisingly supportive and supplied him with good advice.

"I take it he's fine then?"

Takuma turned back to see Shiki smiling faintly too, a reflection of his smile – realising his expression answered the question for him already.

"Oh, he'll be fine in _no time_. Kain's just being a stubborn baby and won't leave him alone. I keep _telling_ him,"

They were both startled to see Ruka stride into the room, flicking her hair over her shoulder flamboyantly, "_Leave him alone_, I say – he _needs_ to rest, _dumbass_ – but does that thick lug listen to me? No. Stubborn ass. He hasn't left Hana's side since getting him into their room,"

"I can't say I'm surprised," Shiki smirked, matching Ruka's equally amused look with his own. She sighed dramatically with a delicate shrug of her shoulder.

"So, what brings you here, Ruka?" Takuma asked conversationally, virtually recoiling when her smirk merely grew and _grew_ –

"I was just on my way to deliver this," she held up a small letter (one corner was singed), "A letter I think Aidou-chichi ought to be receiving. He would be _so… _disappointed if were to find out he was not told this news _immediately_," she spoke with relish and a wicked flash in her eyes, "Especially since it's all about his dearest_, darling son_,"

Takuma winced, instantly understanding what '_news'_ Ruka was delivering, "Ruka… _must_ you?" he whined, hating the idea of her stirring up trouble. Just imagining Aidou-chichi's face when he read the note and realised his precious son was already half-Bonded without his consent… Takuma shuddered, looking down at the singed mattress and then at the singed corner of the letter with a surge of sympathy for poor Kain. He wouldn't have been able to chase after Ruka, since he didn't want to leave Aidou – and he could just imagine him watching her run off with the letter sealing his fate. (A well-aimed fire-ball was probably the thing that nipped off the letter's corner).

"Let's pray for his soul," he said solemnly, and he and Shiki bowed their heads while Ruka threw her head back to cackle gleefully. She pranced further into the Infirmary, voicing her curiosity as to why they were there, but as they began to explain to her about Boy, she suddenly gasped aloud. They watched, intrigued as recognition lit Ruka's eyes and she drew closer to Boy like a moth drawn to a lamp, totally hypnotised.

"I _know_ him," she exclaimed, shooting awed glances at their baffled faces, "When Kaname gave me control of the troops during the rescue mission – he was there, with me. He kept calling me '_Souen-sama_' instead of 'Souen-_san_' and just wouldn't _shut up_…"

This made Takuma laugh gaily, meeting her eyes with great mirth, "I know exactly what you mean. He's a real motor-mouth,"

"Tell me about it," she agreed quietly, yet her words weren't harsh or bitter, but fond, and instead she gazed down at Boy with an unreadable expression. She reached so her fingers touched the edge of the mattress, "He's quite an … _odd _character. He's got this… strange vibe…"

"_Very _strange,"

"He kind of looks like Taku too, doesn't he?" Shiki pushed, smiling triumphantly shortly when after a moment Ruka nodded in baffled agreement.

"I'm sure he will recover soon too," Ruka added, beaming at them, "Someone with such a strong personality as his cannot just wither away like that," she clapped Takuma on the shoulder in comfort, "So, buck up boy. Believe he'll be alright, have a little faith,"

His eyes moistened and he shuddered a breath, patting her hand appreciatively, "Ruka…"

She laughed heartily, "Yeah, yeah. Please, _stop_ worrying. He can probably feel your negative vibes, and they don't help him at all. Anyway, before I forget," she held up her letter again, "I'd better go deliver this,"

"You're _seriously _going to do that?" Takuma winced, quickly praying a second time in his head for Kain's sake.

"Of course," she chirped, striding to the door, "Aidou-chichi must be told-"

"_Souen-sama_!"

The three of them jumped at the sound of a loud wail – it came from a small plump middle-aged servant who was ruddy-faced from running. She was carrying a small note which she thrust into Ruka's hand before doubling over into panting mess. Ruka delicately shook out the creased envelope, but before she opened it Shiki caught her wrist lightning-fast and flipped it over.

They balked, seeing as it had "_Kuran Kaname_" written on it.

When Ruka saw the name, of course, she almost dropped the paper as though it had burnt her.

"This isn't for _me_!" she squeaked, gingerly holding it out to be taken away. It was amusing that despite the fact she had gotten over her glory-worship of Kaname as a whole, she still treated anything belonging to Kaname like holy relics, _not to be touched_ – "For _goodness' sake_, look what you almost made me do, you mad woman! You should have put it aside for Kaname to read when he comes back – how _dare_ you intercept his mail like this!" she reached out to strike the servant, when Takuma caught her wrist.

"Ruka," he admonished calmly, "That's quite enough," and gave the red-faced servant his usual chivalrous smile, "My dear, why _would_ you give this message to Ruka-chan," he flipped the envelope to show her Kaname's name, "When you can read quite clearly here, it is addressed to _the King_…?"

"I 'ave a good reason, sir," she stuttered, wringing her hands, "I understand it is… unusual, sir, but a young boy – one of the barracks' messengers came running into the Castle with it in 'is 'and – 'e didn't say where 'e got it from, or who gave it 'im, but that was to be delivered immediately to Kuran-sama – and if not Kuran-sama, then it must be passed onto 'is next-in-command, sir,"

"That would be _Takuma_ then," Ruka scoffed with crossing her arms, still put-out from the fright of nearly intercepting Kaname's mail, "Get it _right_, next time," The servant bowed deeply to shirk her disapproving glare. ("My deepest apologies for the mistake, madam…")

Takuma carefully examined the outside of the note, highly suspicious of the fact that it came from unknown sources. Even though it was common practise that Kaname let Takuma read his mail, those were only missives for business reports or about appointments with dignitaries – they weren't _war_-messages. They wouldn't contain top-secret information like this one probably did. This shouldn't be seen by anyone else except the King, unless he was there to say otherwise. Takuma didn't feel comfortable with opening it, but… the urgency was telling in how important it must be, so perhaps… he _should _open it. He could feel the others waiting for him impatiently, but already he had a really bad feeling about reading its contents.

He flicked open the envelope, unfolded the paper and slowly read it.

The sharp intake of his breath had Shiki and Ruka crowding around him in an instant. The three of them shared a look of purely horrified dread when they considered what danger they were now in. Takuma absently dragged his thumb over the imprint of the family seal set in wax that was instantly recognisable to all Vampires, "This has to be a prank," he whispered, and yet he lifted the envelope to sniff the edge of the paper. Sure enough, the Pure scent was of the same high order as the seal indicated.

"No, it can't be," Shiki breathed, his eyes affixed to the wax, "There's… there's no way you can forge _that_,"

"What the _hell_?" Ruka cut in, snatching the note to reread it again and again. The message itself was short and incredibly to-the-point (to the point of being rude, but it wasn't in their power to rebuke _her _for her poor manners) and yet she couldn't quite grasp it, "Why is she telling us this? What does she want from us? I don't understand…"

"Neither do I, but that's beside the point. _She_ can do what she likes," Takuma said softly, "And _she _has invited herself here," his eyes narrowed in on the seal again, amazed by how much power it held and how its authority meant _she_ could do as she liked. She could tell them to expect her, and come without further notice than that. He was now resigned to the fact that this was not a prank, that this was very _real _and they ought to heed the message's requests as quickly as possible. He hated to think what may happen to them if they didn't.

He let a breath hiss out of his teeth, "God, I hope they're alright…"

Shiki slipped his hand into Takuma's and then cleared his throat uneasily, "So," he muttered, "We should start preparing for her then," he scratched his nose awkwardly, "What do we do? Do you think we should get her a 'thank you' gift?"

"Butwhat _could_ we give her?" Ruka asked in a much more subdued voice than before as the seriousness of it all finally sank in, "I mean, what can we give her that she doesn't already have? There's nothing… and also, she's basically told us she's coming _whenever _– she hasn't said when, so it could be – it could be tomorrow, or even _sooner _than that. What does she want? How are we meant to prepare for this…?" she stammered, and Takuma quickly caught her in an embrace and hushed her into calm. He shared a meaningful glance with Shiki over her head.

"First, we must tell Yuuki," Shiki said, catching Takuma's eye, who he nodded jerkily, "She must be told what she must do, for at least until when he comes back,"

"Yes," Takuma agreed, "We can't let her think we're without a leader," Takuma said gravely, pinching the skin between his eyes with a deep sigh of pure dread, "And then we should really send someone out to the barracks to bring the remaining people back here to be treated," he groaned, "This is absolutely _bollocks_ timing," he heard Shiki huff a laugh beside him and quirked his lip, "I can't wait for the good karma to come along,"

Ruka un-tucked herself from Takuma and looked between both notes in her hands a couple times before huffing loudly and scrunching up the one meant for Aidou's father, chucking it over her shoulder into the waste bin, "I hate prioritising," she rolled her eyes at Takuma, reading Kaname's note carefully one last time before she tucked it away, "I mean, we're already in a hot mess right now, but this just takes the biscuit, doesn't it? How much worse can this get? _Really_," she pouted, "Karma can't get here soon enough… I wish Kaname was here,"

"I know," Takuma replied quietly, this time patting her shoulder. He shook his head slowly, "But we must treat this as nothing more than another chore," he said. Shiki smiled suddenly, just in admiration of his mate's ability to keep a level head. "Unfortunately for us, Ruka, I can see this getting a lot, _lot _worse," he squeezed Shiki's hand for support, heaving another deep sigh before he squared his shoulders and flashed them both a sharp look, "But we'll be okay. Kaname depends on us," he concluded with a flash of conviction in his eyes. Instantly, the fear and dread was washed away by his vigour, and Shiki and Ruka met his look with equal determination, "Come," he called them over to the door, sparing Boy one last backwards glance before he shut the door, "We have work to do,"

* * *

><p>The fact that the only light provided for them was from the gleaming red eyes of the Night Class students', coaxed into luminescence by the whiff of Pure blood scent still present in the air, was not a very pleasant thought at all. Nevertheless, Zero knew no one was in any danger – two full boxes of blood pills had been gobbled by the Vampires before Kaname spilled his blood. The atmosphere was relatively calm and comfortable, despite the still-hungry eyes.<p>

There were awe-filled whispers between the students at what they had witnessed moments before – the basement wall falling open to reveal a tunnel. Zero was also silently impressed by the sophisticated bit of Vampire-Hunter combined magic Kaname and Kaien had performed. Every Hunter or Vampire knew that since Hunters' blood lineage was derived from Vampire blood and magic, in theory, their magics shared common properties that could be combined. But the skill required to combine the magics in this day and age, when the two species had diverged completely into separate species, making their magics almost totally incompatible, was pure genius. Hunter charms and Vampiric repel each other, but somehow the spell-work Kaname and Kaien had written managed to overcome this.

They designed a blood-charm to conceal a secret entrance in the south-eastern vault of the basement which led to an ancient underground passageway. It had been used previously (a _long_ time ago) as a groundwater aqueduct, in the old days when the Academy building had once been a fortress, but now the water only reached their mid-shins and sloshed as they walked. The Academy was once the first of five fortresses built to protect Kuran Castle and the towns surrounding during the Golden Age of the Vampires – and these fortresses and the Castle combined to create the Citadel, which lasted for five millennia, until the Humans began to overtake the Vampires in terms of re-populating the world, and the Vampires retreated as the secondary dominant species.

This old aqueduct was recently rediscovered after the last War when Kaname and Kaien had been checking over every nook and cranny of the battlefield grounds (which was obviously the Academy), and they'd instantly seen the potential in using it. The last War showed how important it was to have escape routes at every opportunity. So: another passageway at their disposal – another way out of the building in the event of an emergency – wonderful. The tunnel itself was only collapsed in a couple of places over the millennia of neglect and was in surprisingly good condition. While they were clearing it up and repairing it, they found documented maps detailing the plans the stonemasons had left behind. They found that the passage had never in fact been completed.

It was supposed to deliver water through Fort Ku

_(the Academy's old name, meaning "heaven" – Kaname explained to Zero that the five forts were named after the five elements – Ku (heaven), Fu (wind), Ka (fire), Sui (water) and Chi (earth). These forts were given to each of the Pureblood families at the time – and this was the reason why the Hanadagi's Castle looks like it was designed for more military purposes than fine living – because instead of being a Castle, it had originally been Fort Sui. Only three Pureblood clans chose to move to Europe over contributing to the fortresses, which were the Ouri, Toma and Shirabuki clans.)_

to Fort Fu – nowadays: the _Hunter Headquarters_. It was ironic that they were building fortresses in a time of prosperity and peace – the Golden Age – didn't it mean everyone should be focusing on bettering their lives rather than preparing for more war? He supposed it just proved that people were never satisfied with having peace. They were always looking for the next fight. Their minds were always fixed on violence.

The uncompleted passage ended near the edge of the Academy woods, close to the town border. It was the _perfect_ place to leave it – how convenient it was to end close to civilisation, where they could simply build another entrance out of the dead-end up to the ground surface. They then sealed up both entrances with their blood and magic so they could only be re-opened by them – hence the reason for the Hunter blood and Pure blood lingering in the air.

The blood was probably affecting Zero the most because he was walking right beside Kaname at the moment. The passage only allowed a two-man width, so they were literally shoulder-to-shoulder (still holding hands). He was holding the hand which had been cut to release the blood-seal. The proximity mercilessly taunted him so he had to try to breathe through his mouth and focus on something else – like glaring at the back of Isaya's nonstop-nattering head – to quell his disturbing urge to lean _closer_ to Kaname. Strangely enough, the urge was not one pertaining to feeding, but simply a desire to be completely _immersed_ in the delicious Pure blood scent. _Look at all the red eyes all around us_, he thought to himself, _they're just like me. They're just the same – hungering for Kaname's blood_.

Unsurprisingly, the thought of everyone having the same hunger for Kaname's blood wasn't comforting at all. In fact it made Zero feel quite uneasy, and _guilty_ for being the same as them. Somehow, he expected _more _from himself – that he might be able to control himself and his bloodlust, especially since _he_ was actually privileged to have drunk Kaname's blood many times and _should_ therefore technically be more resistant to its allure. Instead, he was just as bad as everyone else – salivating over Kaname as if he was the prime cut of meat. It disappointed him, much more than he expected it would. He felt Kaname's hand twitch in his, but thought nothing of it.

Zero was drawn out of his brooding by a sudden exclamation a few paces ahead of them. Obviously it was Isaya, setting off some kerfuffle and talking loudly with Kaien about something only they could understand. He sighed, observing the vague outline of hands gesticulating wildly in their animated discussion. It was amazing that they could talk so much without running out of things to say. He could see Kaien leaning heavily on his friend, and worried for a moment about it, but he could see he was fine. In the dark, with them leaning on each other, it looked like they were one person with two heads, and he could certainly imagine them sharing one mind in two brains.

Questions started whirling around his head about the mysterious Pureblood without much to trigger them. Zero was just… he just didn't get it. From meeting Isaya and hearing him blab his life-story to him, he knew he and Kaien went way back together. If that was true, why had he never known about them?

Zero jiggled his wrist to get Kaname's attention.

"Kaname, about Isaya…" he said slowly, and he swore he could sense Kaname's amusement at how he began the conversation about _him_. After all, he had rather bluntly told Kaname _exactly _what he thought of the eccentric Pureblood, "What's the deal with him? He told me… basically everything about you two and how you became friends. But I just… I don't get why he's here. Who he _is. _How did _they – _I mean, how come the Headmaster has never told me a thing about him? You'd have thought since they're so close he'd have mentioned him at least once, but he hasn't and yet here they are, thick as thieves…" he was confused that the Headmaster would want to keep his friend a secret.

"They have been friends for a long time," Kaname said. "In fact, it was through my mother that they became acquainted. With my father too, the four of them were the greatest of friends,"

He heard Kaname stifle a chuckle and then felt his shoulders quiver with the suppressed laughter.

"What?" he smiled slightly, bemused by his unexpected hilarity, "What is it?"

"It always makes me laugh thinking about… did you know that, the first time Kaien met my mother, he tried to assassinate her?"

Zero gaped, finding it not only a _little_ disturbing that Kaname could find this _funny_.

"_Excuse_ me?"

"Well, it _was_ a long time ago, back when Kaien was a lot younger and much more foolish. He got too cocky and decided he'd Hunt my mother one night, thinking she'd be an easy target because she was pregnant-"

"_Pregnant_?" Zero squawked – horrified by this alien description of a younger Kaien who _enjoyed _violence and chose to Hunt a _pregnant Vampire._ It was so far a depiction from the man he knew that he couldn't fathom how his doddering, blithe oddball of a guardian could have been someone so _eager_ to spill blood – especially now that he was such a devoted advocate of peace.

"- yes, with Yuuki-"

With _Yuuki – _no_. _That was just… _**no**__._ So _wrong_. Zero made a choked noise, unable to conceive that Kaien could ever want to harm _Yuuki_. Zero also detected the usual protectiveness in Kaname that was showed when he talked about his sister. It was clear that he also didn't like thinking back to when their gentle Headmaster was a savage, heartless killer.

"- he thought that she would be more vulnerable – but didn't know that pregnancy actually makes Vampires even more ferocious, so they can deal with attackers when threatened," his tone was lightened with notes of laughter now, "Can you imagine how it went down?"

_With Kaien beaten off his ass? _And now, Zero had to muffle his laughter too. He couldn't help it – picturing Kaien's dumbstruck expression when faced with Juri's '_mother bear' _rage. At least Zero was mollified by the image of Juri scaring the hell out of Kaien, which he took as retribution for his bad intentions. Heck, he hoped she had lots of fun doing it.

"She spared his life though, and even forgave him for his recklessness," said Kaname, his voice deep with fondness – no doubt for his mother. Zero also silently thanked Juri for pardoning his wayward young guardian and sparing him his life, "It was her mercy which opened their eyes to see that, by choice, they could change. They didn't need to be enemies. It was on this basis that they became friends.

"This new-found tolerance and friendship planted a seed – an idea in their heads. They began to dream of a future where all Humans, Hunters and Vampires could – like them – coexist in peace. They were visionaries, Zero," he declared so passionately that Zero involuntarily hung onto his every word, "But, there was no real progress till Isaya came along. You may find it hard to believe, but with his quirky way of thinking, he had the most creative mind. Also, he provided great relief to my mother…"

Zero was momentarily distracted by the suddenness of a draft of cold air blowing down his right ear, and the darkness being cut by a stream of white light. Looking up ahead, he saw a rough square grate cut in the ceiling. As they reached under it, the little white squares danced on the left side of Kaname's cheek, neck and shoulders like stars. "Ventilation shafts," he explained softly, though like Zero his eyes traced the constellations passing over them. The light was golden, which reminded them that it was daytime now.

Zero blinks, bringing himself back to their conversation. "Sorry – why was _he _a relief to your mother?"

"Has Kaien ever spoken to you about my mother? At all?"

He shook his head, muttering no quietly. That she had been even a friend to Kaien was news to him – she was, as far as he was aware, just the same as Isaya. Unmentioned.

"I'm not surprised," Kaname sighed quietly, "She meant a lot to him,"

Zero blinked again, slowly. He understood what he was saying, but again its meaning escaped him. "He… he _liked _her?" he whispered, shooting a cursory glance to ahead of them, for Kaien, though the darkness again shielded him from sight. "He _like_ liked-" realising how childish he sounded, Zero's mouth snapped shut, and he pinched the skin between Kaname's thumb and knuckle in warning when he heard him huff a chuckle.

"Yes, once he told it to me very bluntly: '_Since the day she spared me, I was smitten.'_ Of course, he was friends with my father too, so he never acted upon his feelings. But the feelings were there, and they caused some tension between the three,"

"Jeez, Kaname," he hissed, biting back a retort when the Pureblood only laughed. He didn't want Kaien to hear what they were talking about, "What is it about your mother? First it's her brothers, and now Kaien too? What's with this effect she had on them?"

He felt Kaname's shoulder rise in a half-shrug, "I would say that my mother… was a Mecca for young, eager hearts. She inspired goodness in people, and she encouraged love in all forms. She would unintentionally make you fall in love with her, without aiming to lead you on – she was just _wanted. _It was just _her_," he smiled in the darkness, and Zero smiled back, "I think she knew what Kaien wanted, but knowing that she could not give it to him, she found it very difficult to be around him. That was where Isaya literally fell into the relationship and became a mellowed the tension between them,"

"So, Kaien never…"

"No. He didn't. He respected and loved their love too much. He told me that my mother inspired him and gave him a purpose, and that was why he loved her. So when Isaya came by, he helped distance them so that it didn't hurt so much. He got everyone's minds in focus to the task at hand, and then got the ball rolling on how they were going to cement their ideas into a real _operation_. And then, he helped even more, by sponsoring the first project.

"My parents were quite short of a penny in those times. The Council shut down their allowances-"

"They could do that?"

"They could, because they used methods around the law to claim my parents were acting out of bounds – fraternising with _Hunters _was seen as something highly unsavoury. Of course – they didn't have the power to _ground_ my parents for their wrongdoings, but they could cut off their financial allowances,"

"…those bastards,"

"It did have an abject effect on their plans, but luckily Isaya was there – recently Awoken, and sitting on a pile of money. He funded the first stages into the research of manufacturing a blood substitute – this was Kaien's first thought to how they could fix the main reason why Hunters loathed Vampires – the fact that we drink blood. When he succeeded in creating this, he also contributed to helping the next stage along-"

"Wait, so _he's _the one who made the blood tablets?" Zero let out a huff of frustration when Kaname hummed _yes_, "Blow me," he mumbled numbly, baffled again by all this new information he was learning. He grumbled good-naturedly when Kaname jokingly blew a tickling gust into his ear. "So, what was stage two?" he pressed, absently noticing the way that the aqueduct was beginning to tilt upwards, reaching back to above-ground. It was with slight relief that he noticed this, because even though Zero wasn't afraid of dark, tight spaces, he wasn't a fan of them either; that, and also the water soaking into his trousers was spreading up the cloth and beginning to reach uncomfortable places.

"This," Kaname said pointedly, "The Academy,"

"Stage two was the Academy?"

"Yes,"

Again, "Blow me,"

Again, Kaname did, so this time he elbowed him in the gut, "It was my mother's idea to create a school for both Human and Vampire children. If the Hunters were too obstinate to embrace change, she thought Humans could be convinced otherwise – using the fact that Humans have forgotten we Vampires exist at all – she said it would prove the point that we can coexist in peace. In education, the students would not only learn from books, but from each other that in the end, there are far more similarities than differences between our species.

"Kaien promised to build it – but in the end, it was easier for them to use this old fort. Since it belonged to Isaya, but he lived with us, he donated it to the cause. You'll see the Academy emblem soon, and when you do you'll see how it was designed for them – the four of them,"

Surprise didn't come to Zero anymore, so he merely nodded at the information (much to Kaname's disappointment) and let it settle in his mind in its own time. Everything coming out of Kaname's mouth right now was baffling and unexpected, which on the contrary made it expected too. He sniffed up a dust mote and sneezed when the guttered light filtered through, making everything suddenly more visible but still shadowy in the dusty air. More ventilation shafts were upcoming, and the intervals between them shortening, signalling that they were reaching the end of the aqueduct.

"So, what's Isaya's incentive for being so generous?" Zero snorted, not unkindly, "Don't tell me he fell for your mother too,"

The Pureblood shook his head, "No, his reasons have a different motive altogether. When he talked to you, did he tell you about his children?" Zero nodded, "Then you'll know they were made Human at one point," again he nodded, "Well, Isaya's mind, as I told you, works in different ways to most. Over time, he has come to the conclusion that this temporary alteration managed to do what his wife intended: their madness was cured. For this reason, he has invested in the idea that Humans may hold the key to curing Pureblood madness,"

"So he wants to help Humans –"

"- because he wants them to help him in the future – this is the method of dealing with his guilt that he has chosen. It's a promise he has made on behalf of his wife," Kaname grazed his other hand along Zero's arm, drawing his attention, "Look, we're almost there," they heard the students ahead also murmuring in relief. "Good,"

"Kaname," Zero muttered, "What's the plan?"

He heard the Headmaster's voice hoarsely called for them, indicating that they at the front of the group had reached the end of the tunnel.

"It's good we talked about this Zero," Kaname said instead, "I think it will help you understand my plan a bit better," he squeezed their hands in an encouraging gesture, though it only succeeded in making Zero uneasy.

"Why don't I believe you?" he murmured, reluctantly allowing himself to be dragged behind Kaname as he turned them aside and they side-stepped their way in the narrow space to join the Headmaster. Once there, he could see the Headmaster and Isaya were stood on a platform a few feet off the ground. The ending of the tunnel was crudely finished off – the platform raised the exit presumably to reach upper-ground level, but it was simply formed from block of packed dirt and large stones squashed together. The exit-way was… well, it _wasn't there_. Zero panicked for a second, thinking that they were trapped underground with no way to escape – but he quelled this irrational thought quickly. Kaname and he clambered (well, Kaname managed to look graceful _clambering_, Zero… not so much) onto the platform and went to stand with the other two. Closer up, he could see that on the wall was a marking. It was the Academy emblem. He reached up to touch it –

Kaname's hand came up and pushed his down.

"Don't," he said firmly, "Don't touch it," as Zero opened his mouth to ask why, Kaname also turned to Kaien, who was already cutting his hand with the blood-seal knife, "Not yet, Kaien," The Headmaster obediently stopped. "We must first discuss the plan,"

Then they heard a bustle of whimpers, muffled curses and grunts – the students shuffling aside painfully as the other two finally came about. The commotion hinted to many trodden-on and/or broken toes. Yagari stepped out of the darkness first, his face pinched tightly in annoyance and his hand dragging Kaito along.

When they were assembled on the platform, Kaname outlined the plan.

"Rido's army are heading for us from the direction of the Hanadagi's, which is lucky for us, because the areas where we need to go are opposite of that. The main problem we face is-"

"The numbers of them," Kaito cut in, "There are – what? _Thousands_-"

"They outnumber us," Kaname concluded, "That is their strong point. Now," he paused to look at each of them thoughtfully, "I already know that you're all going to say 'no' to my plan, but– _but _I want you to listen to my reasoning before you do. First of all, I need to tell you what I've already told Zero: I have to stay here. Rido has summoned me,"

Yagari scoffed, "Isn't that a stupid move, boy?"

Kaien frowned, "Toga-"

"Going because he summoned you? You'll be at a disadvantage there. You'll be walking right into his trap-"

"I know he will not harm me yet," Kaname replied calmly, and when Yagari went to speak again, "Don't ask why I know, we have no time for that. The point is that you four must carry out this plan without me. The only logical way we can overcome their numbers that I can think of is to break them up to more manageable sizes,"

It was Kaito who saw immediately what he was saying, and predictably, he exploded at the idea. "You're asking us to split up?" he hissed, darting a look to the side where the students were clustered, "Dude, are you serious? That's the worst plan ever – don't you ever watch TV–"

"No, Kaito-kun, he's right," Kaien interrupted smoothly, "He's right. The Es follow Rido's instruction, but it's still in their nature – in their instincts – for them to go after practically anything that moves. If we split up into groups, they will split up too. It works," he shrugged.

"But what does that do? They'll still be in groups larger than ours – we'll _still _have the same problem,"

"Yes, but at least they can be more easily dealt with in _smaller_ numbers. Their strength is in their _numbers_, Kaito-kun," he explained, "They are like a swarm – have you heard of the term '_swarm intelligence_'? They are simple-minded, led only by Rido's very simple instruction, but if you break up the swarm they will lose direction,"

"Exactly," Kaname said, "My hope is if we break them up, they will eventually revert back to normal Level E behaviour and disperse, and that they will give up the chase,"

Kaito shook his head, "Your '_hope_'? Your _hope_… this plan is already doomed to fail. You're putting the students in danger-"

"Shut up, Kaito," Zero snapped sharply, "We don't have time for this," Kaito looked taken aback, his mouth hanging in shock. Only then did he realise he may have actually _defended_ Kaname. He fought down a blush and jerked his chin, "Go on," he told Kaname, fighting back the unnatural feeling of siding with his ex-rival.

Kaname smiled wanly in the dim light, "My plan requires that you trust my reasoning… implicitly,"

Zero slapped a hand over Kaito's mouth before he could speak. He blinked at Kaname, nodding slowly and finding the smile on Kaname's lips become ever so slightly more relaxed.

"You'll need to be split into groups pertaining to where you must go. Kaien," he began, placing a warm hand on his friend's shoulder, "You understand that after what you have sustained, I would have you put somewhere safe till this war ends,"

Kaien cracked an easy, but wavering smile that spoke of a mix of understanding and regret. Even in the poor lighting, they could all see that he was still leaning heavily on Isaya, and still he was shaking. His bad leg was slack and he still emitted the mouldy smell of infection. "I understand, and I'll wait for the day when I see you again, when all this is finally over,"

Kaname cleared his throat, squeezing Zero's hand again, this time – Zero suspected – for his own comfort, which he allowed. When Kaname had gathered himself, he continued, "You'll be going with Yagari. I'm guessing that Airi has wisely gone ahead to the helicopter," he turned to Kaito, who nodded.

"She left pretty soon after we got to the kids, saying she'd been told to get it,"

"Good. You'll find the helicopter approximately a quarter of a mile due east of here," he told Yagari, "You'll be taken to the Hunter's Headquarters, where the Es can't get you. Kaito-san," he turned to fix the truculent Hunter with a stern, yet diplomatically neutral look, "You'll take a third of the students. Wakaba-san," he called softly. From the students, Yuuki's best friend stepped forwards meekly, shying from the looks she got from her peers. She gathered herself together briskly though, and they admired how effectively she snapped herself into business, and she climbed onto the platform. Kaname sent her a gracious smile, "Since Yuuki has told me often about your unflappable temperament and reliability, I think I safely can trust you'd do well in leading your fellow classmates," he said as more of an order than a request, but she merely smiled a little back.

"If you think I can, I can try," was her quiet, but composed answer, making Kaname laugh quietly.

"So, you'll take the another third-"

"_Hold_ it," Kaito easily pushed Zero aside, "You can't be serious. Look, I respect Wakaba-san is good with everything, but you can't seriously send someone untrained, _unarmed_, to lead a whole bunch of kids-"

"We have these," Sayori said, holding out one of the – Zero flinched – one of the _sock bombs_. Kaito laughed out loud, but stopped when he was met with a couple of unimpressed stares. Sayori sent him a particularly sour look, and he quickly backpedalled.

"It's not that I'm saying you're not capable, I'm just saying you have no experience in fighting-"

"She won't be fighting,"

"- yeah, but what I mean is they need someone who _could _fight if need be-"

"Kaito, shut up," Zero said matter-of-factly, "She can take care of them,"

"But-"

"Seriously, _stop. _You're gonna end up digging yourself into a hole. So just shut up right now," Zero rolled his eyes, "No wonder you're no good with girls, with the way you talk to them,"

Kaito looked vaguely affronted, but before he could carry on, Kaname brought them back to the plan.

"I want the both of you (he referred to Sayori and Kaito) to lead your groups on different routes. You'll both be heading to the town just past the border though, that's roughly a mile north,"

"Town?" Kaito picked up, "But-"

"Let me finish," Kaname snarled hastily, "You'll go into town – Wakaba-san, go to the docks. Kaito, to the train station. _Send them away_. That is your task – get them sent home,"

"But how is that a safe option?" the Hunter snapped impatiently. Zero saw that both he and Kaname were getting far too riled up, so he stepped forwards between them, sending Kaito a particularly warning look.

Kaname sighed, _These Hunters and their insatiable desire to pick at my every decision_, right then he longed for his own friends, who followed his word without complaint. He wasn't comfortable with or pleased about this level of questioning (though, if it was Zero…), "My thought is that by the time you near the border, those Hunters patrolling the Academy perimeter – that is, if they're still there-" Yagari nodded "- will be able to take care of them. Those that get past the border will be dealt with by the Hunters stationed there. Anyway, I believe that with so many Humans about, the Es will become distracted-"

"And dangerous," Kaito urged, "Distracted and _dangerous_. Are you willing to release a bunch of hungry, eager Es on a town full of Humans?"

"Enough!" Zero retorted, levelling Kaito with his signature glower, "I've said it before. We don't have time for this. Let Kaname actually _finish_ telling us what to do, and quit whining," this time he felt a little better defending Kaname, but it still gave the same uncomfortable feeling as if he was doing something wrong.

Kaname squeezed his hand thankfully, which again felt strange. Maybe if he'd sent him a thankful smile instead, it would have felt less… intimate, than this holding hands thing. It was because no one knew, no one could see the gesture, Zero thought with growing realisation, which was why he was disconcerted by it. Anyhow, he decided to ignore it, only responding with an expectant look as he awaited _his _instructions.

He turned to Isaya instead, smirking, "Ah, almost forgot you," the blonde pretended to scowl, which drew a laugh from Kaname, "You're to take the last third of the students with you to the town – the international students – take them to the airport. Go back and help overseeing the others and make sure everyone is sent home. Once you're done, stay hidden," he clapped his friend's shoulder, sending him an unreadable look, "You understand why I'm saying this," he said. Isaya's lips thinned, but he nodded. And finally, he came to Zero.

"You will have the most dangerous path," he said quietly. His reluctance to tell Zero this now made sense.

Zero raised one eyebrow at him, "Gee, thanks,"

His sarcastic tone went ignored, "I'm serious, Zero," Kaname insisted, "You're going straight to the Castle, but it is the furthest away,"

It was Yagari's turn to scoff, "And you think he can manage such a distance in this state?" he gestured to… basically _all _of Zero, but they understood what he meant. In his body's weakened state, he wondered how Kaname saw it possible for him to do that.

"I don't," was his answer, and then Kaname took a step back, releasing Zero's hand, which dropped to his side limply. It became apparent that he was going to do some Pureblooded trick, so all three of the Hunters instinctively mirrored his actions in stepping back. And when Kaname lifted his hands and darkness, like a dense black smoke, seeped from his fingertips, the students also dissolved into stunned silence. They wondered how this dark form Kaname was moulding with his hands could be darker than the darkness itself, but were more enthralled by _what_ form he was creating. The smoke grew and filled up almost the whole remaining portion of the platform, and then it grew _upwards_, growing almost taller than Yagari even. Zero's mouth opened into an 'O' when he finally recognised the shape, as the form's characteristic long, thin legs grew downwards and hooves touched the floor.

In moments, Kaname had made a stallion horse. Unable to believe it, Zero gravitated to the magnificent beast and sunk his hands into its midnight black mane, astonished to feel its silky texture and it snorted, waving its head under his hand. It was a warm, breathing animal. But when he dug his fingers in a little further, they sank into the black mass and the solidness dissolved into partial smoke. Zero turned wide eyes onto Kaname, who merely smiled.

"It will take you there," he said, stroking the horse's neck absently.

Zero gaped, "What is '_it_'?"

Kaname simply shrugged, "Part of me,"

"Part of _–_ you know what? I'm not even gonna ask," he shrugged too, patting the hor- the… the thing. It whinnied a little, but mostly stood silently, awaiting the moment Kaname would send it off.

"Why not a car, or a motorbike, you genie?" Kaito asked, trying to sneer, but failing since he _was _in fact, quite impressed by this trick. Kaname rolled his eyes.

"Neither of those will handle forest terrain," he explained, and then held out his hands again, this time spilling black smoke into his cupped palms only, which formed into small black marbles. They were distributed to the other four.

"At any time, if you find yourselves in trouble, simply throw these to the wind, and I will be there," he informed them, and then he turned to the student body, "And now, _everyone_," he called, instantly gaining their attentions, "Very soon we will be opening the exit-way. As soon as we do so you will have to start running as fast as you can. You will follow either Wakaba-san, Isaya-san or Kaito-san to town. Stay close to them and run – as though your life depends on it, because it _does_. Do you all understand?" there was a rush of 'yes's', which showed they understood the very real gravity of the situation, and the danger they were in."Good. The general rule is also – don't look back. If someone trips and falls before you, help them. Whoever falls behind must be left behind. It is harsh, but whatever you do, you must always move forwards,"

Kaname at last returned to Kaien, the only indication that he was at all nervous was that he avoided his gaze. "Alright then, let's-"

"Wait," Zero grabbed his arm, and before he could stop himself, he moved them aside, as best away from the others as he could manage. To his surprise, Kaname let himself be manhandled quite easily, but when he realised that now his attention was completely fixed on him now, he quickly released his arm.

For a second he was at a loss as to what he wanted to say, but when he caught sight of the black horse it came back to him instantly. Zero scowled darkly at him, "Do you really think that I'm gonna let you stay behind – _alone_?" he narrowed his eyes, "Who do you think you are? Who do you think _I _am, Kaname? I don't _care_ what you say – I won't. Rido's dangerous, especially to you-"

"Believe me, I'll be fine-"

"- I'm not – the _Bond_, Kaname-" he hated to resort to using it against Kaname, but the sentiment was actually half-true. He knew he was not on the end of the Bond that meant he could feel anything, but on _Kaname's_ he would. Zero remembered the sheer relief on Kaname's face, like mercy after enduring _torture_, after the long-spell when they'd been apart. And when they were reunited and he'd fed from him again the Bond was shortened even more. He was worried what Kaname would be like with him gone far away. What if Rido _did_ attack Kaname, and he was too distracted by the Bond's pain to defend himself? Then… Zero chewed his lip, quite annoyed he was getting so worked up about this. But the truth was that he _couldn't_ – he just couldn't stand the thought of leaving Kaname behind.

"What about the Bond? I know what you're thinking, but I'm okay, and anyway I'll see you soon, back at the Castle," his eyes were dark and persuasive, as were the low tones of his voice. But Zero didn't fall for those tricks, and shrugged off the hand that landed on his shoulder too. He was irritated by the fact that Kaname was trying to use those persuasion techniques on him. Then Kaname's eyes widened, "Can… can _you_ feel the Bond now? Is that why you're worried?"

"No," he said quickly. At the same time when he realised he should have said '_yes_'.

"Good," Kaname sighed in relief, "Then it's fine. But we must go _now_, Zero. Already, we can't be sure how much time has passed in here. They could be waiting for us outside," but with the way Zero stubbornly stared back at him, Kaname knew he would not be swayed, and though he was touched by this, he began to beg, "Please, Zero. Don't make this difficult,"

"Make this _difficult_? Let me tell you-"

"Kaname-!"

"_Zero-!_"

It all happened in an instant.

In one second, he saw a flash of metal, and Zero's eyes flew wide open. The next thing he saw was them shut and his whole body careen forwards into Kaname's arms. The students collectively went into an uproar (and were quietened by Isaya's well-timed powers). It was Isaya and Kaien respectively who had called out their names in warning, and now Kaname found he faced Kaito behind Zero, who stared back at him unsympathetically, even with a hint of a slight smirk on his lips. In his hand was his gun, which was still raised from the undignified assault. It took another second for Kaname to piece the events together.

_Did Kaito really just -?_ His eyes flitted to the gun warily, which confirmed his suspicion. Kaito clocked Zero out with the butt of his gun. A tiny murmur of pain came from Zero, which he fully understood. That was a _big_ gun (where did Kaito hide i- you know what? He didn't want to know). What Kaname didn't understand was why he'd not been able to stop Kaito – he _would _have stopped Kaito if he could – but perhaps, he glanced down at Zero again, he had been distracted at the time…

He shuffled Zero's unconscious body in his arms, narrowing his eyes at Kaito, as if he thought he would strike him again. Kaname's voice was low and deadly, "How _dare _yo-"

"You don't know him at all, if you think he'd listen to you," Kaito said calmly, with the same dispassionate air as a bored secretary blowing on her nails, staring down an uninspiring client.

Well, what he said was _true_, but…

"Look, you said we have no time to waste. It would take more time than we can afford to get _anywhere_ with Zero. So I did you a favour, buddy," the Hunter's smirk widened wickedly, and then cut off to a fierce scowl, "Just say fucking '_thank you'_ next time, and let's get this show on the _road_," he then stalked away to start organising the students into the groups. Kaname shared a rotten look with Yagari, who was also displeased with Kaito's behaviour but unwilling to stir the pot, and then he looked down at Zero with anxiously. Luckily there was no blood from the hit, but still, with him bruising so easily, he was worried…

"Shucks, man," Kaname looked over his shoulder, ready to _bite_, but it was only Isaya. The other Pureblood quirked one side of his mouth with a shrug, "I picked it up a few language mannerisms from the children," he gestured to Zero, "He looks _beat_," Under any other situation, Kaname would've laughed, but for now he only nodded solemnly, far too used to his friend's odd behaviour anyway.

"Could you…" he sighed, "I suppose, if it isn't asking too much of you, my friend, would you take him for me?" he brought Zero's body up to rest on his shoulder, "He can't go alone, not like this…"

"Of course, dear heart," Isaya grinned, "It would be an honour,"

He bowed his head, "Thank you," and placed a hand on his arm, "You understand that… if he is caught, if he – if he is _killed_, it will all be over. Everything,"

Isaya blinked slowly, seemingly taking it all in his stride as his smile mellowed, but at the same time became more convincing and sincere, "It would be a _great_ honour,"

Kaname nodded, "Go tell Kaito to rearrange the student groups then,"

He watched Isaya walk off, and once again found himself entranced by Zero in his arms, even though he knew this was not the time to do such a thing, how could he not? He was draped over him, totally relaxed (as he would be, _unconscious_) and trusting, melting into him in such an inviting way that, for a moment Kaname was lost. Without realising it, he curled his arms tighter around him in a full embrace and bowed his head against his, burying his face against Zero's crown. In that moment, there was no one there but him and Zero. He nuzzled his hair warmly and even pressed his lips to where he felt the swelling on his scalp under it was.

"Are you quite done molesting my student?"

Yagari's gruff voice cut through the '_tender moment'_ like a well-sharpened knife, gleaming with disapproval and the understandable protectiveness which came from being a self-established parental figure. Immediately abashed, Kaname's face flushed and he felt like he'd been caught red-handed. He moved back to a respectable distance and waited for Isaya to climb atop the horse before he took Zero to him and they carefully adjusted him into place. Before he fully let go of him, Kaname managed to pull Zero down for one last moment, whispering fervently into his ear, even though he knew he couldn't hear him, "Be safe. I promise I… I _will_ see you again," and then he forced himself to hand him over to Isaya, and stepped back, back, _back…_ flinching when he heard the Bond _screech_ and spark angrily like welding metal, as it went past the limit: only a mere five feet between them.

If they could be no further than _five feet_ before this… every time, it would hurt like this. He'd have to get used to it, because Zero sure as hell wouldn't want to stick around him _all the time, _no matter how much their friendship was easing their relationship. Kaname just… didn't expect that with the bond's shortening, it became more intense and its punishment more painful. His chest heaved with the effort, and he trembled slightly, but his mind was determined as it shut down on this pain, driving it out and drawing the tenacity to withstand it out from him. He shut his eyes tightly… and then nodded to Isaya, who wrapped Zero in a sheet of dark smoke turned into a cloak. Then Kaname turned slowly to Kaien, and accepted the blood-seal knife held in his hand.


	89. To Pick Up The Pieces

**Author's Note:**

**HA. Are you amazed by this speediness? When I am inspired and have time to write, I will flood your alert-boxes like nothing you've seen before.**

**...**

**Now that I've said this, I'll probably disappoint you with an inexcusable long wait again. **

**Sorry if this prediction comes true. If it doesn't, good for you? - (I rhymed it! I rhymed it mommy-)**

**BTW: URGENT NEWS = Boy has a NAME. ALERT. ALERT. THE ONE WHO HAD NO NAME HAS NOW BEEN NAMED. HOW AWESOME? HOW - YKNOW WHAT, READ ON GUYS. READ AWN. XD**

* * *

><p><em><strong>"If you love until it hurts, then there can be no more hurt. Only more love." <strong>_

_**~ Mother Teresa**_

_**"You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty,"**_

_**~ Mahatma Gandhi**_

* * *

><p>They were gathered around her, each with similar expressions of anticipation, and yet she was completely blind to the hope they were laying on her, consumed by the letter and its cryptic contents. To be honest, she didn't understand the reason for their urgency – kidnapping her from her bed to give her this message, when already Takuma told her that plans were being put in place anyway. What did she have to do then? They looked at her like she might have something important to say, when she was probably less certain of what to do than they were.<p>

Yuuki folded the paper back up and pinched the crease flat, and then she slowly raised her eyes to meet her cousin's first, since his taciturn eyes were somehow a lot easier to look at.

"Well," she cleared her throat delicately, trying not to show them how intimidated she felt right then, "…what do you think we should do about it?"

Shiki blinked languorously, gracing her with a raised eyebrow which belied his previously neutral expression. Unimpressed. Disappointed. Cold panic set in.

It felt like being on a stage, watched by only three pairs of eyes, but feeling as though she was on show to the world. Stage-fright. _Think like a Pureblood, Yuuki_, she urged herself. After all the lessons Kaname had given her on Vampire etiquette and politics and history… he'd never got round to training her how to think and actually _act_ like a Pureblood, since he told her it was something she'd have to pick up by herself. So she didn't know the intimate details of how the Pureblood clans interacted as per the norm. She assumed from this letter that this Pureblood who had aided them was an ally, and that she was expected to express their gratitude on behalf of them, in Kaname's stead.

"Yuuki-hime,"

It was Ruka who broke the apprehensive silence. She found the girl on her right side, bearing a slightly more approachable softness to her expression which Yuuki found quite heartening, contrary to her expectation that the other two would be the more amicable ones – it was Ruka who was being, on the whole, more forgiving of her ignorance. Then again, Ruka and she were closer these days, with Ruka mentoring Yuuki on the complex subtle behaviour required of high-class ladies. She depended on Ruka like an older sister to guide her through the frilly details and obstacles of social etiquettes, and therefore was immensely gratified to see that Ruka was familiar enough with her to recognise when she was inwardly _freaking out_, and sorely out of depth.

Ruka whisked the letter away from her and slipped it away discreetly. Without it, Yuuki had nothing to fiddle with, "Since she has assisted our troops, we are indebted to her, therefore we definitely_ cannot_ refuse her if she _insists_ she wants to come here, unless we want to kick up a _major_ fuss," she glanced at Takuma, "Which I'm sure Kaname won't want us to do,"

"But is she our ally or enemy?" Yuuki asked, struggling with the gaps in knowledge, "Why is it that you all appear so reluctant to welcome her when she has helped us? What's the problem?" she nibbled her nail distractedly, "…I mean, is she bad news to us or something?" they all shifted uncomfortably, which indicated she'd hit the nail on the head, "What – she is? She's got 'ulterior motives' for helping us? Is that it?"

This time Takuma fumbled with his sleeves in a nervous gesture as he spoke, "We can't be certain yet. Generally she is neither with us nor against us – as far as we know, she is a neutral party. But the reason for our concern is exactly _that_. _Because_ she is neutral… she quite literally hangs in the balance of this war. She can sway the war either way, for success or failure, on our side. And this is why she is dangerous to us – because any small offence on our part could turn her against us,"

"Moreover," Shiki added quietly, "The Shirabuki clan is fierce and powerful. Her clan once dominated a third of Europe's Vampiric population, and in relatively recent times they have expanded to encompass _over_ _half_ the population. All this was accomplished by her – by Sara's – own personal marital demise. Because she murdered her husband on a quest to power, since he was the Head of the Ouri clan, with his death the whole clan deteriorated thereafter,"

"The Shirabuki clan took claim of the Ouri's land and people, and now wield an _enormous_ coven of Vampires," Ruka continued, "And this is their great power: their numbers. We need all the help we can get – we need them as our ally. In a way, this," she patted the letter in her pocket, "Quandary has also given us the opportunity to get them on our side. It would be a valuable asset in this war, especially since the enemy's side is ever growing,"

Yuuki frowned, "But… do we… would we want someone like _her_ on our side?" she asked quietly, "You just said that she killed her own husband for _power. _If that is _her_ type of ambition…"

"Yes, _exactly_," Ruka smiled encouragingly, and Yuuki felt a small glow of affection for her friend, knowing that her logic was sound, "As far as we are aware, Shirabuki Sara is a very uncertain ally – unlike your brother, she is ruthless and utterly self-serving, so we're not sure how much she will help us. She will want something in return, which is why we are apprehensive about this letter – her motives aren't clear. It's quite unusual for any of the European Vampires to contact us, so the fact that her people happened to come to our aid is very suspicious. Shirabuki Sara isknown to travel around the world most of the time, but for her to happen across our troops at the right time is a little too coincidental for us _not _to be wary of it. Do you understand?"

Yuuki nodded, pleased that she _did_ understand now. She was aware that deductive skills and analytical thinking were not her strong points, but at least she could be proud that she _could _work these things out eventually. It gave her hope that she could improve and impress them all someday.

"We're planning to send a small team to investigate the barracks," Takuma said, "Also, to bring back the injured to be treated. Would that be alright?"

Yuuki nodded again, realising that – maybe this was why she was called to them. With Kaname absent, perhaps these Nobles needed her, as a Pureblood, to give them permission to carry out these plans. All she had to do was say _yes_. But she wanted to do more than that. She turned to Takuma, "Who would you send?"

He shrugged, "I suppose we can call Seiren, if she comes … Maybe Rima will go too–"

"_Yes_, I willgo,"

Rima stepped into the room then, and Takuma squawked at her to go back outside. Yuuki really didn't understand the protocol that demanded that only Shiki, Ruka and Takuma were able to talk with her first, and _then _the others were to be told what was happening _later_. Maybe it was just because they were the ones in charge? Anyhow, Ichiru and Rima _had been_ locked out of the room, but Ichiru now shoved something into his pocket that from its shape was likely a Swiss army knife, and he folded his arms sternly beside Rima.

"I'm going too," he asserted, levelling them with a convincing glare worthy of Zero's praise. For a second Yuuki was convinced it _was _Zero standing there, and she grinned at him, out of habit. He raised his eyebrows at her, "Don't think you can stop me. You're Vamps – but I'm a Hunter. I don't _listen_ to you," he glanced at Rima out of the corner of his eye – she nodded encouragingly, "And I'm _sick _to the back teeth of hanging around here doing _nothing_," he nudged his way through the doorway, "I can _do _something. I wasn't," he paused, but Rima poked him in the back, "– I wasn't brought here to be moral support," the frustration was clear in his voice. Rima leaned around him to nod emphatically.

Takuma's eyes flitted to her as he rose from his kneeling on the ground, "But Zero wouldn't want –"

"I don't give a rat's ass. Nii-chan can _suck it_!" he snarled, causing Yuuki to let stifle a spontaneous chortle from his comical expression of annoyance. "He's not _here_. Neither is sensei, or that douche-bag Kaito for that matter. _I _am in charge of what I do – so, when do we leave?" he asked Rima. She shrugged nonchalantly, opening her mouth to reply.

"Hey – wait a minute!" Takuma pleaded, rushing to them, "You shouldn't have even heard about this yet – we aren't finished discussing things-"

Ichiru stepped forwards into his face, "_You_, suck it," he growled, making Yuuki's giggles explode into shrieks of laughter. He pushed his way into the room fully, "We have heard all we need to know. You need a team to go check the barracks? Here we are, more than willing to take the trip. So," Takuma didn't look at all phased, only more incensed that he was being defied which, though uncharacteristic of himself, made sense. He was in charge at the moment – Kaname's second-in-command.

"It isn't – you are out of _bounds_ –"

"Leave it, Taku,"

Senri came to tug Takuma back. He dragged Takuma out of Ichiru's range, but it wasn't Ichiru he was watching, but Rima. Takuma turned to protest, but then he followed his line of sight to Rima, and his mouth snapped shut.

Senri had always been abnormally in-tune with Rima, so much so that he could instantly detect her moods with only the slightest change in her blank expressions, as she could for him. Right now, her face, to any other, was blank – to Senri, he could see a myriad of emotions – surprise, shock, acceptance, melancholy, desire to get away – from _him_. Once she'd come into the room and seen him and Takuma properly, it was obvious to see – by the way Senri had pulled Takuma back by his _hand_, and the fact that they were still holding hands. They glowed from the contact – a fleeting quirk to Shiki's lips when Takuma instantly calmed at his touch. She could pick out the way they subconsciously leaned towards each other – like they always had – but now with far more freedom than they had ever done.

_It was done_, she realised. They were together. Finally.

She'd been waiting for it to happen, she realised. All this time, even though she'd abandoned her feelings for Shiki, she couldn't help holding onto hope, with him and Takuma never _getting there_. But with them here like this, she could see now… it was done. She could let go, she could _really_ let go. And though it made her happy, it also made her sad. The emptiness where hope used to be was overwhelming, and she just needed to get away for a while.

With this mission, she could, for a while, escape them. She only needed a little time – their honeymoon period to settle and her (_hurting – aching – I accepted it so whydoesitstillhurt–)_ broken heart to… repair – and then, she hoped, she could return to them with a proper smile to congratulate their happy union and accept her loss with the grace and goodwill she always gave to them. To them… the ones she loved so much –

Shiki could see it all – everything – she was _hurting_, and it hurt him too. He implored Takuma with a certain look he knew wouldn't fail, "Let them go," he insisted, wanting her suffering to end. It was being in their presence that was salt to her wounds at the moment. He hated that he was the reason for it – he was the reason for why their relationship had deteriorated as of lately and misshapen into fractured pieces because they both loved him. The three of them loved each other whole-heartedly, but it was he who had fallen harder for one over the other, and now Rima suffered for it.

The least he could do was this. He forced Takuma to look at him, "Do it," he urged through gritted teeth. Each second longer Rima stood there, he was afraid the pain would damage them beyond repair.

Takuma picked up on his urgency instantly – he had always been more in tune with Shiki than Rima – and he nodded curtly to Ichiru, who despite declaring himself independent from needing his permission was still waiting there for his next words. "Go," he grumbled, waving them off, "Be careful,"

"Yada, yada," Ichiru beamed jubilantly, spinning on his heel and catching Rima by her elbow. "We got it," he grinned boyishly at her. She was grateful for his obliviousness to her current disposition, forcing herself to smile back. Over the idle time she'd been hanging out around him, she had to say, Ichiru was great company. He dragged her out of the room eagerly, and off they went.

Takuma looked after them wearily, running a hand over his face coupled with a sigh, similar worry a father had seeing his children off to the big, wide world plaguing his mind. Those two weren't incapable – well, he wasn't sure about Ichiru, who looked far less battle-wise than his brother. He worried. He just _worried_ about it – Shiki's hand in his and his arm wound around him brought him back to kneeling in front of Yuuki, who had calmed down and now looked down at him with concern.

He swallowed, shifting his eyes away, "…I'm still sending Seiren after them," he said decisively. Yuuki nodded.

"Good, but what is it we must do now?" she asked, tilting her head in question. "Returning to Sara – if we can't reject her…"

"We have no choice but to receive her, as an honoured guest," Takuma smiled wearily, "And then I'm afraid, _that_ is when things will become significantly more unpleasant for us,"

"We will have to suck up to her," Shiki answered, "We'll shine her shoes, kiss the floor she walks on – basically: pamper her till she's perfectly won by us,"

"She might be convinced to support us – but that will be _our_ task – because _we_ are the subordinates, but for you, Yuuki-_hime_," Ruka grinned without humour, "You must be our ambassador for the time being. As a Pureblood, you're able to talk to her. Win her favour by emulating her behaviour and playing to her interests, just like you do with me; flatter her and agree with what she says – it's all about making her feel like she is better than us. She'll be easily won by that – remember, most of all, she's a power-hungry _bitch_,"

Takuma sucked in a breath at Ruka's wording. It was like he was almost expecting Sara to burst in at any moment and hear them talking, "Remember," he said hastily, "Even though you technically hold more power, **she** has the upper-hand over us, Yuuki-chan,"

All of a sudden, the demands and consequences came crashing on her and… it felt like it was all too much. The outcome of the war fully depended on how well she could convince Sara to their side. The weight of the task drew on the panic inside her and her heart heaved with it. Yuuki knew that only _she_ could do this, because only she had the authority to _speak _to Sara. _Oh god, I have to… I have to speak with her…_ she bit her lip. _What if I say something stupid?_ She bowed her head as shame coloured her cheeks rosy red. _What if I mess this up? What if we lose the war, because of me?_

Never had she longed so much for Kaname till this moment. He was so wise and clever – he'd be perfectly secure in her position right now, knowing exactly how to deal with the situation and sort things out. Yuuki wished she was as good as him. Leaders should be born charismatic and self-assured like Kaname – the subordinates had to look up to that type of behaviour. She hated to think what these three subordinates thought of her right now, fretting like a young child awaiting their first day at kindergarten.

It made her feel so small. Useless and unworthy of the title 'princess'. Ever since she'd joined the Nightworld, she'd felt childish and underprepared for such a position. Everyone knew more than her. Everyone expected more from her. But all she could give, all she could give them was… was herself. Even if she was physically changed, inside – mentally she had never stopped being that seventeen-year-old schoolgirl. It was only Kaname's belief in her which let her persevere. There was no greater pleasure for her than to see his pride when she managed to do something right.

Some days she was wistfully reminded of the times when life was simpler, brighter and easier – when she laughed a lot more, and when her biggest worries were as trivial as meeting homework deadlines. Those were carefree times she treasured – but she pushed them far behind her. She had _chosen _this path. She knew a part of her would always be Human – nothing would quell her longing for sunshine. But those times were long gone now, and she had responsibilities now, to act properly. Like a real princess.

"I don't feel like I have a choice," she said quietly, but suddenly – something in her ripped out her fear and threw it aside, and strength surged forwards in its place, which made her amplify her voice, "But even if I _did _have a choice to leave you alone to this task – I wouldn't choose it," she clenched her fist tightly, trembling with the passion she felt all of a sudden – a desire to prove herself, which blazed in her eyes, "And even if I wasn't a last resort – even if Kaname was here – I would _still_ do this, because it is my duty," she panted slightly from the exertion of raising her voice, and a smidgen of self-consciousness coloured her cheeks, but it was dampened by this… this almighty wave of _righteousness_ she discovered inside her, "It is my _duty_ to protect you," she realised. Because _this _was what they were _really _asking of her – for her to protection. The gravity of this task only managed to empower her _more_, because, "And I will," it was a great _honour_ to be entrusted with their lives.

The three Vampires looked… stunned, to say the least. But Ruka's eyes were also glowing with pride, and she was Yuuki's _Kaname _at that moment, so she beamed back at her. Now, they would see, she _could _do this. Yuuki bowed her head, dismissing them with this gesture, and hiding her triumphant laughter that threatened to escape from her at any moment. She felt giddy with power – but not at all in a frightened or manic way – it was a quiet, comforting power she was growing to be accustomed with, which made her feel really… good. _Really_ good. She was proud. _Kaname, this is for you_, she thought happily, _I'm doing this with for your faith in me, always_.

"…Yuuki-hime,"

Again, she turned to see Ruka on her right. Had she not left? She saw the girl still smiling beatifically at her with her eyes slightly shiny, moist and reverential, touched by her empowering speech.

"I'm glad," she said softly, "That you are here. I really am. And I think – I think that no one would be better suited to this task than you, even if Kaname was here. And it's not because you're a Pureblood, or a princess," Ruka beamed, "It's because of _you_. Your charisma, Yuuki, is your greatest asset, and I am certain it will help convince Sara to favour us. I mean – look at us," she gestured between them, and then took Yuuki's hand softly, "Once, I used to think I would never like you. In fact, I hated you. No," she laughed brightly, "I _loathed _you, for stealing Kaname's heart away from me. But look at us now – we're friends. And it's simply because you are the most difficult person to hate, my dear," she leant forwards, wrapping Yuuki in a warm hug. Abruptly, tears rolled down both Yuuki's cheeks, but she was smiling and trembling with joy. "Your warm heart is your strength, sweetheart, and I think everything will be fine because of it,"

The Pureblood wilted in Ruka's embrace, her fright resurfacing but also ebbing away from the gentle wind of Ruka's affection, "B-But what if I fail?" she muttered groggily, a clawed hand of fear clenched her heart in its grip, "What if I don't-"

"No," Ruka pulled back to wipe her face tenderly, "I won't accept any of these '_What if's'_. Everything will be _fine_, I promise. I believe in you,"

And the girls shared a quick hug before Ruka started briefing Yuuki on Sara's background, and Yuuki settled down to listen. Only a short glance to the window provided a brief distraction from her lesson, because she could never resist the temptation of seeing the morning sun, hazy behind the filmy curtain. Being woken at this time allowed her to see it for the first time in… ages. A small gap between the flaps let in its glorious golden hue in a thin strip, but just as quickly as she'd turned to look, she turned away from it to pay attention to Ruka again. _It isn't good, _she mused, _to long for something unreachable. To yearn for something so… unattainable._

Kaname told her that one day she'd be able to stand in the sunshine again without burning or feeling pain, but it would take a while until she could do so. Until then, she'd have to wait patiently whilst she grew a thicker skin, one that could protect her from its harsh glare. And she would have to steal little glimpses of the sun from behind a filmy curtained window, so it wouldn't burn her eyes. Or else, Kaname warned her, if she succumbed to her temptation, it would only end in a painful experience.

* * *

><p>Kain knew something was going on. Something was happening beyond that door, these walls confining him. But even though his curiosity was damn irritating, like an unreachable itch, he didn't rise one inch off his seat to go end it. His greatest priority was lying on the bed he'd planted his crossed ankles on, and he was shackled to sitting beside him out of <em>choice<em>. He fiddled with his bottom lip out of sheer boredom, and let his eyes stray to the back of Aidou's head. A shock of blond, fluffy hair – a far different sight from his usually well-tamed curls – a sight only he was privy to, he thought. He didn't understand the pride that accompanied that thought, but accepted it nonetheless.

Part of him wanted to dive under the covers with Aidou, hold him tightly in his arms and card his fingers through his invitingly soft-looking hair. But he resisted, because… because his conversation with Takuma was a huge warning-sign in his head, threatening him with _what might happen _if he got too close to Aidou. Was he ready to push further into their relationship? Of course not. And it wouldn't be right to move forwards in it when Aidou was _asleep, _for goodness' sake. He could be arrested for that, he was sure – like, for _assaulting_ him, or something. And that would be _awkward_.

So he sat there, like a guard-dog – vigilant and patient. He'd never in his life been this _patient_ before. But he _was_, because the other part of Kain was anxious to explain to Aidou what had happened when he woke up. '_Yeah, I had to Bite you to save you, so we're Bonded now,'_ was the basics of what he wanted to say, and saying it that way would be ideal… but he wasn't stupid. That would _not_ go down well, at all. Subtlety was not Kain's strong suit (he thought back to how he dealt with the hospital staff to get Aidou here… and smirked), so he was spending his time waiting and thinking of ways to tell Aidou this, without getting an ice-ball thrown in his face, or his… 'delicate areas' deliberately frozen off.

Even so, looking at Aidou sleeping… he knew that on his side of the incomplete Bond, technically he couldn't feel anything, but he could imagine it was between them thrumming happily. He wondered how Aidou might feel it – would he wake feeling overwhelmed and disgusted by the sudden change between them, or be pleasantly surprised by their new connection? He wondered. He wondered… He hoped it was the latter, because the idea of sharing a Bond with Aidou was now… _very pleasing_. He wanted it. He really, actually _wanted _it. Kain didn't and couldn't deny it. He longed for Aidou to wake up so he could tell him everything and hopefully convince him that everything would be alright, and even _better_, because… he wanted Aidou's teeth in his neck. He wanted to be Bitten and the Bonded _completely_ to him with an intensity that amazed him.

He hadn't been joking before when he'd been chasing Aidou's trail, when he said he wanted to chain them together. Time spent away from Aidou was… never quite as _good, _as when he was there.

_Please want this_, he projected his desire in a silent plea to Aidou, closing his eyes as he hoped with all his might: _please want me. Please –_

"Off,"

Something tapped his foot, so Kain kicked wildly, knocking his weight back in the chair and toppling over backwards. The pain registered first, and then he heard a muffled grunt. A _grunt_. He was awake? Kain scrambled onto his knees and peered over the edge of the mattress.

He met a pair of crusted, bleary blue eyes, and his heart stuttered.

"W-What…?"

"Y' shoes," Aidou grumbled, narrowing his eyes into shards of blue ice, "On m' bed. _No_," he pouted, emphasising his dislike by that one stressed word.

Kain laughed, loud and hard. And then he invited himself onto the bed – now that he was awake, permission was his. If he wasn't wanted on the bed, _tough_. Aidou would have to push him out.

Much to Aidou's displeasure, Kain raised the covers which let all the heat out, but then – the fire-master's skin was a bloody _godsend _furnace, so he welcomed his embrace for just this once, to thaw him out. He grumbled when Kain's shoes met his feet, but said no more about it. He could barely move as it was, so he let Kain assemble him in his ridiculously long arms and absorbed the heat with a contented hum. If Aidou was honest, _everywhere bloody __**hurt**_, and being held put pressures on wounds that already throbbed and stung like a bitch. But Kain's comforting scent, his warmth and the fact that _he's hugging you, for god's sakes, how often does _that_ happen Aidou? _dulled the pain somewhat. Aidou let his eyes drift shut again, but his mind wandered to the first thing he'd thought about, coming to consciousness: Kain.

He was first aware of _him_ in the room – particularly the nearest part of him – his feet. This was how he knew without even opening his eyes that Kain was there – for some reason he was _aware_ of him. Aidou had always been aware to things regarding Kain, but being this sensitive was above normal, and it confounded him.

"Kat," he huffed, pushing Kain's face away from his shoulder, "Kat," he repeated to get his attention, "_Kat_," finally Kain grunted that he was listening, "The _hell_, man?" he hissed, trying to raise himself on his elbows, "I can – I can _feel _you–"

"I'm lying on you,"

" – no, like, _all_ of you, everywhere," the more he woke, the more aware he was of everything. Something was different – of that, he was certain. Something had changed between them, and it tickled at Aidou's mind, like he was supposed to know _what_. He tried to remember, but the last memory made him flinch – Rido's knife skinning his back, licking up the bloody trails – so he reverted to focusing on the _awareness_. His breath hitched when he felt waves of unrestrained joy emanating from Kain – alien from what affection he was used to. It made him hyper-aware of their physical contact all of a sudden, which subsequently started off his _panic_ and his mind went into overdrive for questions_ – _"Kat, what happened? Where are we? What is this… this… _thing_ I'm feeling? Why am I-"

"Shh," Kain pushed him back down on the bed and curled around him again, protectively, "Shush. It's alright, I promise. It's just… I have something to tell you," he closed his eyes with a sigh, "Something_… _really, really… good?" he found Aidou's eyes blinking expectantly, and his breath whooshed out from his eagerness, "Okay, you might think it's not good. I'm not sure. Heck, just… just listen and judge for yourself I guess. I think you'll remember the mission…"

* * *

><p>It was no joke – Kaname telling them to run for their lives – as soon as they burst out from the exit-way, the Es were on them like a pack of wolves. He didn't dare look back, already horrified by the explosion of blood scent in the air – he hoped not from the students – and the screams that followed. Dust bursts let him know the Es were also getting their fair deal, and the <em>booms<em> from the sock-bombs were encouraging, as well as the animalistic shrieks from their victims.

The horse had a mind of its own, or at least, Kaname's mind was commanding it, so he only had to hold on and secure Zero's body against him. They were going at a nauseating speed with the trees sometimes close enough to tickle his _ears_, and the sounds of the commotion falling behind them swiftly… Isaya suspected Kaname's mind was running with them. He was making it so they left the area as fast as he could, but as the distance grew between them, his control over the beast would loosen, and its speed would slow.

Soon enough, the Es were far behind them and Isaya breathed a sigh of relief. He would've been able to blast them if they came near enough _anyway_, but the stink of those sick creatures always made him edgy. They broke free of the forest, and were riding over the plains now, and he could spot the rise of one of the mountains which led to Kaname's home. Now that they weren't hidden by trees, the sun hit them full on – it was well into morning now. Isaya was old enough that the sun didn't hurt anymore, but Zero – he looked down at him, expecting him to be blistering.

There was nothing. _Oh_, he thought, _could he be resistant?_ He struggled to remember the details about Isamu's reincarnation's heritage that Kaname had told him… he knew he was an odd mix of blood. Without hesitation, Isaya sniffed his passenger – "_Ah_," his face lit up in understanding. _An ex-Human_. _Excellent_, he grinned. He would be resistant to sunlight because of his Humanity still being _there_. But he was also… Hunter? He was an ex-Human-Vampire-Hunter… well, that was… different.

He pondered about it for the remainder of the journey – and also about Zero, and Kaname, and what they all faced in coming times of war, but especially about _those two_. There was such a complexity in their relationship which interested him. The time passed him by in no time at all, with them reaching the Castle in, he estimated, no more than half an hour. It looked much the same as he remembered it, and passing the gates into the courtyard brought a whirlwind of fond and bittersweet memories to mind, in such an overwhelming mix that he had to remain seated on the horse for an extra moment to contain himself.

The horse whinnied insistently though, so he dismounted it with Zero in his arms, just as it disintegrated into black smoke, and the smoke vanished into thin air. Isaya wondered if the smoke would reach Kaname and inform him that they'd arrived safely. He hoped it would.

But then things became difficult – when they were spotted by a servant – and that servant promptly fainted at the sight of him.

_Oh_, he suddenly remembered that it wasn't publicly known to many that he was actually up and about. He eyed the conked out girl with faint amusement. Though it was funny, he sure hoped they didn't _all _do this.

Then another servant came out – another girl, but this one merely let her eyes widen to an alarming size and then she ran back into the Castle to call for back up. A whole _swarm_ of servants rushed out and gathered around him like he was a celebr- well, he supposed he _was_ a celebrity, in a way. He graced them all with a tight smile (he wasn't used to being the centre of attention anymore – how did Kaname do it?) and then _elbowed_ his way inside.

As he did, from a garden entryway on the east side, he noticed a girl and boy race out of the building. The boy – he glanced down to check Zero was still in his arms (_of course he was, why wouldn't he be-?)_ – looked _exactly_ like his… his cargo. He was baffled by it, but all too soon he was whisked inside, and he forgot about it. There were other things to think about.

Like – where would he put Zero? He considered the Infirmary, but changed his mind, instead asking one particularly insistent servant for directions to Kaname's rooms. Zero would be more comfortable there, he reasoned, and it was only a small tap… okay, it was a fairly _hard _tap to the head, so he wouldn't need medical assistance, anyway. He made his way up the stairs, following the eager man, concentrating on not tripping over another servant who had tumbled down the stairs from fainting without dropping Zero. They had several similar encounters en route, each of which amused him quite a bit.

Nodding his thanks to the servant, he nudged the door open with a small mental push and drifted inside, looking around, curious (nosy) as ever. It was very… _Kaname_. Largely functional and not very decorative, but with its secrets.

_With its secrets…_ he nodded at his speculation. Kaname was always much more than he appeared – underneath what you saw was always _more_. He suspected even his rooms would be as unassuming.

Back to the task at hand, he went to Kaname's bed and prepared it for Zero, then made a show of tucking him in like a child. "There," he chirped, stepping back to admire his work. He hadn't undressed Zero, apart for his shoes – knowing how Kaname might whinge (destroy things) if he found out he'd violated his lover in such a way, but he guessed Zero would be comfortable enough. Knowing he was a Hunter, he'd fished Zero's gun out of his pants for his own safety and placed it on the night-stand with the tips of his fingers smarting from the contact (_bloody anti-Vampire weapons…_).

After this, Isaya considered where he needed to be. Kaname had told him he wanted him out of the way of danger till the war was over – and he understood why. But at the same time, he could help. He _was_ safe, here at the Castle, and in fact, _leaving _the Castle to hide himself might be more dangerous. This was a good excuse, he decided, to tell Kaname why he'd chosen to stay. He could watch over Zero for him. He could be a trump card on the enemy, if they happened to come to the Castle – he would help defend the Castle for Kaname.

"Well then," he smiled brightly at Zero, "I'll leave you to sleep it off," and with that he left the rooms, telling himself he would come back in a small while to check on his progress. He set off on a walk, wondering if he would see… if he would see Yuuki. Isaya stopped mid-step. Yuuki was here – there was a surge of desire to see her – the last time he'd seen her, she was only a little infant. Isaya's face almost split in two from the wideness of his grin. He had been told she looked the spitting image of her mother – and he couldn't wait to see her –

But wait. Wasn't Kaname's other friend here too? His descendant, Ichijou Takuma.

Longing contradicted by irrational fear, hit him with an even greater force. The desire to see Takuma overrode the one to see Yuuki by miles, naturally. He could… he could go and see him _up close_. He could even talk to him. Could he bring himself to explain their relation to Takuma? A barrage of nerves wracked his previous bouncy mood, because all of a sudden, Isaya was brought back to the feelings of wonder from watching his daughter's offspring's lives unfold – too many, too short to be remembered. Each Ichijou's life was, without meaning to, forgotten, because of the detachment of watching them from afar. But here was the chance to actually touch onto one of them. The temptation was huge, and Isaya succumbed to it.

He went out on a search intended for Takuma, but time passed had changed things around the Castle. Basically, he went out determined. He soon became _lost_.

"Beetle's _eggs_," he whined, trying it out for a curse. He grimaced, trying out a better, "_Confound_ _it_!"

"Are you lost?"

The voice came from a door to his right, only ajar slightly. He wondered how he'd been spotted, but opened it with a smile, letting himself through, "Ah, yes, I appear to be," he surveyed the room, instantly recognising that he'd stepped into the Infirmary. How strange. _This wasn't where it used to be. _He shook himself from those thoughts, going to the patient's side. From first glance, the boy didn't look too bad – there weren't many places he'd been patched up, apart from a stained bandage his neck. But as he got closer, he saw the pallor of his skin was alarmingly white, and his breathing was shallow. His eyelids were drooped with exhaustion. He was impressed that he was awake and conscious at all.

"My dear boy," he addressed him warmly, feeling sympathy for his obvious pain, "Do you require medical assistance?" the room was empty at the moment, but he was willing to go find someone to help the boy. He looked like he needed _something_.

"No, thanks," he answered with a grim smile, "They can't…" his eyes shut painfully, "…they can't _do_ anything," he said with great frustration, and a contradictory rueful smile. He looked quite resigned to it. This upset Isaya quite a bit, and he moved to go get a nurse – when the boy's eyes flew open urgently – "Don't!" he cried. Instantly Isaya came back to him, "Please," he glanced at the bedside chair, "Sit. Please don't leave," he didn't blush (probably _couldn't_) but Isaya was humbled by his request, and sat himself down. "Thank you," the boy sighed, and he nodded back.

For a while they sat in silence, before Isaya was reminded of _manners_, "Sorry – I forgot to introduce myself. My name is Shoto Isaya," he saw no recognition from his name, which was a refreshing change from the norm. The boy – he sniffed – was Human. But _tainted_. How peculiar… "You may call me '_Shoto'_,"

Obviously, the boy couldn't shake his hand in greeting, but he made the effort of turning his head to the side to face Isaya properly. The action was slow and quite painful by the looks of it – the crusty blood-on-bandage smell was vaguely disturbing – and Isaya wanted to tell him to _stop_ – but then he smiled through the pain, admirably. Isaya's mouth snapped shut.

"Nice to meet you, Shoto-san," he croaked weakly, his crooked smile collapsed from the effort – "I'm… I'm sorry," he bit his trembling lip, "But I… don't know where I am, so… when I asked if… you were lost, I can't… really help you there," his smile returned bashfully, "I just wanted someone… and you came, so…"

"It's quite alright. I wasn't doing anything," Isaya insisted smoothly, "If you would like, I could keep you company, young man,"

The patient's anxiousness eased, and he looked very grateful, "Yes please, sir," he whispered, closing his eyes, "I'd like that very much,"

"Alright then," Isaya didn't realise his initial desire to see Takuma was blown away by meeting this boy. He was entranced by this Human, whose silent suffering spoke of humility and great inner strength. He was impressed.

"I'm Tsukuda Benomi,"

"Pleasure to meet you, Tsukuda-san," he returned sincerely, taking the boy's hand in his and shaking it for them both. A twitch in his hand was all Benomi could manage, but it was enough effort for him.

"Please, call me Ben… I like to be called Ben,"

He nodded, "Ben-kun," his eyes drifted to the wound on his neck again. It wasn't hard to imagine what had happened _there_. A bite… he sighed, wondering about Benomi and what he was doing here. Didn't he say before – everything about Kaname was unexpected, such as his house-guests. This person, for example, just didn't fit – _anywhere_. Who was he? He really wanted to know, but just seeing the effort it took for Benomi to respond postponed his inquisitiveness for later, "You should rest – I'll still be here," he said quickly, but Benomi's face crumpled still.

"No," he groaned, "It hurts too much... to sleep, I want to… talk,"

Isaya eyed him for a few tense seconds, debating over what would be the right decision and what would satisfy both their wishes.

He caved into their 'wishes' fairly quickly. Heck, it killed two birds with one stone – Benomi could stay awake and talk, he could figure out more about this intriguing boy. He nodded.

"We'll talk,"

A smile blossomed on Benomi's lips, stretching over to reach Isaya's too, and unexplainable warmth exploded in his chest. It was so similar to the amazing feeling of making his children laugh, which he still remembered to this day, that Isaya was thrown by it.

For reasons he could not discern, he was entranced by the boy's… the boy's _eyes_, upon seeing them, twinkling at him. They were a dazzling green.


	90. What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger

_**"We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when we are afraid of the light."**_  
><em><strong>~ Plato<strong>_

_**"When I despair, I remember that all through history the ways of truth and love have always won. There have been tyrants, and murderers, and for a time they can seem invincible, but in the end they always fall. Think of it – always."  
>~Mahatma Gandhi<strong>_

* * *

><p>When Kaname watched the groups heading out with the Es, as predicted, hot on their tails, his heart froze with uncontrollable fear. He had completely underestimated the number of Es Rido sent. This misjudgement could be devastating. They just kept coming and coming in a deadly swarm, and his view was obscured by them so he couldn't see how the groups were faring. None of them had released his warnings yet, but out of sheer panic, selfishly… selfishly he pushed the horse bearing Zero and Isaya faster. His control over it slipping from his mind's grasp as the distance between them grew, but this was good news, he asserted. Watching Zero disappear with Isaya into the mayhem was like ripping out his own heart. It was self-inflicted torture, but for Zero's safety, he would do it.<p>

Kaname dragged his feet through the rubble of the Academy east wing. With him so raw from the Bond's punishment and Zero gone, he was dreading the meeting even more, if that was even possible. It was in the ruins of where the dining hall used to be where he found him seated on the end of one of the few upright benches. There were two glasses and a wine decanter on the crudely rectified table, and clearly its contents were notwine. Rido had already poured some in his glass and raised it to him in greeting.

"You came!" he called in mock-surprise. Kaname didn't deem this worthy of a response, and merely took a seat opposite him after he'd tapped the other bench back into shape too. Rido took a quick sip from his drink and then offered the decanter to him. Kaname refused, of course, but was pressured to take it, and under Rido's insistence he poured a little for himself. Pouring the blood released its smell into the air, and like a punch bowl drained from an unimaginable number of people. Of Humans. He was tempted to smash everything, but restrained himself, only just –

"Drink, Kaname,"

He refused, and Rido merely grunted his discontent. It wasn't an order, just an invitation.

"Do you know why I called you here?" his uncle grinned toothily, showing him his gleaming red-stained fangs. Kaname again stayed quiet. He would let Rido talk. The bastard always did love the sound of his own voice. "It's Vampire custom to have one last intercessory meeting between the leaders of a war before the battle commences – you should know. Of course, you might think it strange that I wanted to honour this tradition since it didn't go down quite like this last time, did it?"

Kaname almost snorted, but he quickly smothered this urge appositely, "No. I distinctly remember you forcing your way into our school, intending to lay waste to the whole student population to feed yourself," he responded coolly, "And there was no pre-warning as far as I can recall,"

Rido threw his head back in an exaggerated laugh, "What type of a predator would alert their prey, Kaname?" he crowed, calming down soon but still with a somewhat wistful smile, "Ah, that was a good meal,"

Kaname slapped his hand on the table, "Enough, Rido," he growled, "Just say what you want to say quickly, so we can end this,"

He was given a mock-hurt look, and then Rido folded his hands leisurely and dropped his chin on them, "You're not the one giving the orders, Kaname-kun," he murmured, "But, if you want to be like that, this meeting is meant for us to possibly negotiate a compromise – so we can see if we can prevent war with some pleasant discussion,"

Kaname _did _scoff this time, "You know that can't happen, in any way, shape or form,"

"Oh, don't be like that Kaname-kun," Rido cooed, "There are ways in which we may reach agreement. Just be a little more open-minded. You don't want to wage preventable war, do you? Let's see – I'll lay down my requests first, and then you can say yours, alright? Good. First of all-"

"I already _know_ your requests, Rido. As you know mine," Kaname snapped, feeling more agitated by the second from simply being in his uncle's presence, "There can be no compromise,"

"Warmonger," Rido accused, raising an eyebrow, "Aren't you even willing to see what I _will _offer for your gains?"

"Some way or another, you will find some loophole in whatever agreement we strike," Kaname shook his head with a humourless smile, "You always play tricks and games to manipulate things to your advantage. You are a master in that aspect, I'll grant you, but I have no intention of falling into your traps,"

With this, he stood and made to leave the table –

Rido's voice rang out in his head, in his enslavement – he was bound in place. Kaname was bewildered. Rido's control over him was never _physical_. He had never been moved around by him like this before. The notion significantly raised the danger of his current position. Rido could do _anything_ to him. He could kill him right now, just as easily as he'd stopped him walking. He sat down rigidly. Facing Rido now with even more reluctance, Kaname let his breath out through his clenched teeth. "What do you want from me?" he sliced a nail across his wrist, "My blood?" he squeezed the skin around the cut so it dripped onto the table, "Take it. You want it," he thrust his hand right into Rido's face, "You can take it right now, so why _don't_ you?"

Rido's eyes followed the second droplet of blood as it ran tantalisingly slowly around Kaname's arm. He had the look of a starved animal, but quashed the desire with barely-held restraint, a flash of venerable willpower crossed his eyes. It confounded Kaname. What was Rido waiting for? He could eat him right now. He could hold him down with his mind-power and feast on Kaname till he was bone-dry, so why wasn't he doing it? Rido smirked at the confusion on his face, licking his lips mockingly but otherwise making no move towards Kaname, "I could, you're right, but I won't. At least, not yet–"

"Tell me _why_!"

"I think you _know_ why, Kaname," Rido's voice became quieter and his eyes more distracted with his hands. It was obvious, the effect Kaname's blood had on him that he was trying to ignore, "Your blood is Ancient, Kaname, the Purest of its kind remaining in the world. I would drain you in an instant… if I knew it was _all_ there," he paused to sip his drink a little, and grimaced when the blood was as useless as drinking gravy to quench his thirst. That single droplet on the table was an oasis to his craving, but he again restrained himself, "You see, I am aware that some of it belongs to someone else. That _boy_," he looked up and met Kaname's eyes again, "That Hunter who drinks your blood. Who is he?"

Kaname… tried _not _to panic. His heart froze at the mention of Zero from Rido's lips though, and it was the hardest thing to do – masking this agonising fear rising in him and pretending not to care. Rido knew about Zero. That put Zero in danger. His mind blanked. _Zero was in danger_. The urge to be with him in this instant was crippling. He had to draw Rido's attention away from him.

He couldn't let Rido know how important Zero was to him – the fact that Rido knew already that he gave him his blood was bad enough, and making a valid reason for it would be difficult. If Rido realised _how_ precious Zero was, **he'd** become a **personal** target. It was far too late to stop Zero getting involved in the mess, because Rido recognised he had _some _connection to him. But if Rido only knew _how much_… Zero would be in so much _more _danger. He would become Rido's ultimate target, and once Rido's obsession latched onto something or some_one_, nothing could stop him. And what he would do to Zero if he managed to get him… didn't bear thinking about.

"He's my slave," he said without thinking. The lie was transparent, and Rido laughed vociferously at it.

"Who do you think I am? You would never do that," Rido roared incredulously, "_That_ defeats the purpose of this entire war! If you think I'd believe _that_, then you're in for a _treat_," an invisible hand closed on Kaname's throat, to the point where he was gasping for air. "Let's try again, shall we? Tell me who that boy is,"

Kaname struggled to loosen the restraints, but his powers dissolved when they came in contact with Rido's. He wheezed, "…Yuuki's friend…" he shut his eyes tightly, "Her classmate. I thought she… wanted him. Loved him, badly… so… for a gift… I Turned him," he was released and sucked in huge lungfuls of air, "I was mistaken. She didn't want him in the end, so I kept him. I feed him so he doesn't Fall," he paused to rub his sore throat, "It's the least I can do for stealing his Humanity,"

Rido eyed him and considered the validity his excuse for a few long seconds before another cruel smirk curled his lips, "Oh, Kaname… you could have just finished him, you know? Put him out of his misery, and had a little snack," Kaname tried to suss out if the lie really worked from Rido's eyes. It was impossible to tell. He was so good at concealing his real thoughts from him. The only thing he knew was that Rido couldn't see into his mind – if he _could_, things wouldn't be as they were right now, obviously. So he just had to play his part convincingly and things would sail smooth over.

He shrugged, "I could have, but you know I wouldn't,"

His response was taken, "Yes, and that's where we tend to differ. You've always had a soft-spot for the Humans. Even for the _Hunters_ who Hunt _us_. I've never understood why," Rido chuckled, "I don't think I ever will. Maybe that's why we have turned to war,"

Kaname narrowed his eyes, "There are many reasons for why we are at war. Namely: your belief that the Humans should be at our feet,"

"Correction – not at our feet, they should be in the dirt _under_ our feet. Either that, or they should be herded up and harvested for blood – that is their purpose. They are nothing more than livestock to us, Kaname – when will you get it?" Rido took another sip of blood, refilling the glass. The decanter was almost empty. He gestured to Kaname's drink insistently, but was ignored. "When we Vampires rose, we were given free dominion of the world, but you – you, the last of the Firstborns _deny_ your birthright. Why? The world is in your hands, Kaname!" he jeered, "It's yours for the taking! But if you won't, _I _will,"

"Go ahead. Try," Kaname tilted his head obligingly. "But tell me why we're here first, Rido. Or at least let me go. You know we won't settle for anything, so what is your real reason for bringing me here?" he leaned forwards, "Is it to waste my time? To distract me while you do something else?" a spark of fear relit in him. He checked on the black horse. It was nearing the Castle grounds.

Rido leaned in too, smirking playfully, "I would never do something so underhanded. I'm truly sorry that we can't settle this peacefully. My intention was purely to see if we could, but now I can see that _you haven't changed one bit_," his eyes darkened chillingly as he said this, "I can't say I'm surprised. But let me tell you one thing: I know your secret,"

Kaname forced himself not to jerk noticeably, though his breathing hitched.

"There _is_ somebody who hold's your heart, and I'm willing to bet they own your blood too. I will find them," he continued, "And I will enjoy ripping their heart freshly beating from their chest. A heart for two, Kaname – it's a generous contract, and only fair – you killed my lovers, so I'll deal the same to you. But trust me, whoever you're protecting will be begging for death for a long, _long_ time. When I tell them why they are suffering – because of _you – _they'll wish they never met you. So," he dramatically struck a thoughtful pose, "I know it can't be Yuuki, at least, not anymore. She squirmed in my grasp the last time, and even recently, we had a little fun together. But you weren't as moved by any of it as I'd hoped… but, that _boy_,"

Kaname's heart was racing, but he let nothing show on his face.

Rido's eyes lit up, and Kaname cursed inwardly. Could it be that he heard his heart pounding so loudly?

"_If_ it's him, that kills two birds with one stone," he mused.

'_What do you mean by that'_ he screamed in his head, but he couldn't show interest. Revealing any of this would draw special attention to Zero. He'd show no reaction and let Rido talk it out, even if just hearing about it felt like torture of its own brand.

"Your secret, Kaname, is quite literally up in the air – I'm amazed no one else has detected it. Then again, no one thirsts for Ancient blood more than me," Rido stroked around the rim of his glass, staring mournfully at the last few mouthfuls. Then his eyes snapped onto Kaname fiercely, "So I would be the one able to sniff it out easily – your _slave_ reeks of Ancient blood. Explain to me why,"

This news baffled Kaname. What did he mean by that? Zero smelt of Ancient blood? He didn't smell it. He'd never noticed it – but it couldn't be a lie. Rido wouldn't like about something like this. That didn't make sense at all.

"I… don't know. Is it my blood in him?"

"It's different blood, Kaname. It _calls_ to me," Rido urged, and this time Kaname could see he was telling the plain truth, and it disturbed him. "Never mind. At any rate, I'll be looking out for him in all of this, if my followers haven't caught him by now,"

He inwardly cursed – Zero was in _more_ danger now. Exactly what he'd been trying to prevent. In his attempt to divert Rido's attention away from Zero, his effort had ultimately failed. He thought briefly of pinning the '_Ancient blood'_ scent on Isaya, but he wasn't old enough to be convincing, and he wasn't willing to sacrifice him either.

"It's him I'll eat first,"

The threat runs like a sharpened knife all the way down Kaname's spine. He focuses on regulating his heartbeat, though by now he reckons the game has already been given away, for the most part. He was literally biting his tongue raw to stop himself showing any of the anger festering inside of him, after hearing Rido say he'd dare – he'd _dare _to eat Zero. _That blood is __**mine**_, he tried to stop this mantra circling his head, but it was his _truth_, his darkest desire… it shamed him how much he lusted for Zero's blood. How much he obsessed over it. _That's not all it is to _me_ though_…

"And then you – I'll have yours finally,"

Kaname straightened his back, levelling Rido with an amazingly dispassionate stare, and letting nothing show in his eyes but candid disgust.

"Why are you telling me this, Rido?" he asked simply, tired of being played about with, "Is it for any good – for any reason, other than to undermine my spirit?"

"It's simply that, Kaname-kun," Rido gleefully purred, "Exactly that – but not only that. I want to tell you the facts, so you can see how the game will play out, and hopefully then you'll give up before you make a fool of yourself. Firstly – how big do you suppose my army – or _armies_ – are? A hundred? A thousand? I've lost count of how many, Kaname. They've spread far and wide, and when I call them, we shall see. But if we look at how many _you_ have, how many are there? A few hundred? Yes, only that. And you know yourself that your numbers are dwindling. Will they even survive the first attack? The preliminary wave will wipe almost all of them out – _mark my words_.

"But let's say you _do _manage to get past my Es, and you come to get me at the battle-close. What can you do to stop me? You can't kill me, Kaname. It's impossible. You can only destroy me, and you know I will rise in another ten years anyway to do it all again. I know it hurts you, dear one, every time we face each other when nothing is resolved. It's an incessant struggle, and because we are _who we are_, we'll never back down. But you have always been the bigger man. So end now. Let me win. There is no other way to have peace than to accept _my way_," he raised his hands, as if in offering, "I'm giving you a choice here: surrender yourself to me now. Prevent the bloody massacre. Stop the hundreds of our kind from dying needlessly. In the end it's you and me – as it has always been, and only we can put an end to the cycle. Think about it – your family, your friends – everyone who matters will be spared. You can save them,"

Despite being swayed by each tick-box persuasive argument, Kaname remained firm and unyielding. It was all a trick. No one would be safe till Rido is dead. There was no way he'd take the offer, when he knew his words were twisted and he would lose _everything_ to this evil man if he let himself surrender.

"You see: that is the greatest difference between you and me, right there," Kaname answered instead, taking his time to enjoy the annoyance wash over Rido's face, "When you say that '_everyone who matters'_ are _just _my friends and family, I disagree. To me, _everyone matters_. Regardless of whether I know them or not, whether I care for them or not. They all matter. Whether they are Human, Hunter or Vampire. But you, to you – nothing and nobody matters other than yourself. I shudder to think what the world will be like if I died and handed it over to you. I will _never be like you,"_

Rido sighed, "Your petty philanthropy will kill you someday, Kaname. I hope it makes you feel better about yourself, at least,"

"My answer is, no," he concluded with a little firm shake of his head, unsurprised by the lack of reaction Rido took his answer. The whole talk, all of it was pointless. Kaname really didn't know what Rido was trying to pull, because none of it was surprising and nothing changed. It must be to stall time, for _something_. He had to hope whatever he was being kept from, his friends could handle without him. How much longer would Rido keep him there? It was impossible to tell when he'd be done with him.

As he calmly held a staring contest with his uncle, the notion struck Kaname that this was possibly – no, this definitely _was _the only ever conversation he'd had with him that could be classed as somewhat civil. Barely any raised voices or death threats, and although the tension was there and he could feel it, there was also calm – the calm before the storm. And it was abstractly disappointing that they could call this pre-war get-together the only time they'd ever faced each other without fighting. In the end, they were still each other's flesh and blood – uncle and nephew. In a normal family, they would love each other. As it was, there was no love between them, except for the love they destroyed to hurt one another.

It struck Kaname that this was Rido reaching out to him with what the evil bastard considered were '_good intentions' _to bring him back to sense. Whatever his misgivings with Rido were, he truly believed _his way_ would make the world better. It was a bit like staring at a monster, only to see that the monster didn't know any better, so did that make him evil? If his moral compass was made wrong, could he be held accountable for his evildoings? It was like seeing his Frankenstein come to settle his score, because _Katsuo _was also lurking in the shadows, and though he did not want to admit it, some of the motivations behind _Katsuo's_ rage could be _his _doing. He'd hurt Katsuo a long time ago, even though it was by Lady's instruction – he'd _betrayed _his once-friend with his rebellion, and now he was seeking revenge.

"If that's your decision, Kaname," Rido shrugged, and in that moment he saw a flash of genuine disappointment in Rido's mismatching eyes that truly baffled him, but it was quick as it was gone, "Then we can finish this little chit-chat and agree on the venue," he drained his blood and slammed the glass onto the table so it cracked. He pushed Kaname's glass closer to him, "When you drink this, the negotiations are set," at Kaname's doubtful look, he raised his eyes emphatically, "I'm telling the truth. These are the traditional rites before war. We drink to each other, the same drink, and then the meeting is over and war is officially begun,"

So that was what the blood was for? He was reluctant to drink it, obviously suspecting poison, but then he reasoned that Rido wanted him and his bloody healthy, and him alive for now. Plus he said '_the same drink'_. He took the glass in his hand and sucked in a deep breath.

"I'll bring it right to your doorstep," Rido suggested, as though they were picking a place to picnic, "The Valley. Home. I think it'd be nice to end this where it all began, don't you? Closure. Sentiments and all that. It'd be nice,"

"Where in the valley?"

"The Castle,"

"You're at the disadvantage there," he raised his brow at a loss.

"Am I?" Rido smirked, "I know that Castle just as well as you,"

Kaname considered it for a second, and then raised his glass, "The Castle,"

"The Castle," Rido cheerfully _chinked _his empty glass with Kaname's, and just as the blood touched Kaname's lips, several things happened at once – Rido vanished, his glass – without its support – dropped and smashed shards everywhere. Kaname's stomach dropped like he'd swallowed heavy cement, and he suspected the blood for poison, though it was probably more the sinking feeling that war had truly begun. The declaration was made –

"To war," he toasted to himself, blandly, and drank the rest of it down for strength. It wouldn't do to waste the blood, and since it was such poor quality, it was just like water to him. He realised that Rido hadn't told him when – but like he'd said before: _What type of a predator would alert their prey?_ The game had begun. Kaname bet it would be a waiting game.

Right after he set his glass down and manoeuvred himself over the bench –

He felt it.

And immediately, he tore out of the area – faster than he'd ever moved in his life.

One of the black marbles had been released.

* * *

><p>"Ow, ow, <em>ow<em> – shit. Be _gentle,_ oaf,"

"I am," Kain growled, wiping the dripping oil off the side of Aidou's hip. "Quit moving or it'll hurt more,"

"Oh shit. Oh shit. _Oh shit_. Just stop it! Stop it right now!"

He sighed heavily. "Fine," he grabbed the hand-fan and waved it over his back lazily. Aidou hissed in pleasure, and twisted his head to give Kain his thanks. His eyes moved over his glistening back, trailing over the range of colours the scars, the cuts and bruises, and the stitches were that made up his ravaged back. It looked more than painful. It looked like agony. But the oil made his skin gleam, and he was contented to see Aidou's skin wasn't ghostly-white anymore. He was recovering well.

"They look hot?"

"Hmm?" he glanced back up to see Aidou smirking lazily, twisting the bedsheet in his palm. The moment was oddly intimate, with him shirtless and… well. Aidou was shirtless.

…he was never really, _often_ that shirtless. That was Kain's sort of. Thing.

"My scars," Aidou's mouth twisted ruefully. They both knew he was only joking. He was awfully self-conscious of his badly scarred back, but it was _Kain_, so it was like he was getting his own opinion on it. "Think they'll look… hot?" his cheeks coloured this time. Less confident.

Kain leered, "_Oh_ yeah,"

The blonde rolled his eyes but turned his head the other way with a visible smile on his face. After telling him about the Bond, Kain was a bit irked to find his usually easy-to-read, expressive cousin was so… _unmoved_ by it. Was he the only one? He was on the _un_-receiving end of the Bond too. He shouldn't feel a thing, but could this be a strange case where the effects were reversed? Impossible. He was pretty sure Aidou must feel _something_, but he just didn't want to talk about it.

Fancy that. Aidou _not_ wanting to talk about something.

The other way he could look at it was it wasn't a big deal. That should be good, right? Nothing had to change. They could carry on with everything the same as it had always been. Life could go on.

But Kain _wanted_. He _desperately_ wanted Aidou to say _something_. To react some _way_. Even if that way was a punch to the face or screaming in his ear – he wanted Aidou to feel _something_. It was frustrating, and it was lonely to want something so much, to be the only one to want something. 'Unrequited' was the word for it, but in Kain's head, that was a word one could only associate with… love.

* * *

><p>The first thing he registered was the deep scent of a well-loved pillow. By '<em>well-loved pillow'<em>, he meant he could smell a person in it. That meant this pillow had been used for a long time. There was the fragrance he would link with old book pages, dusty but not unpleasant. The heart motes were sweet and comforting – roses. And finally, notes of a musky hue, heavy, deep, _deep_ tingling notes that took his senses on a whirlwind. He suspected this last scent was sweat, but not like drippy sweat from exercising hard, it was the essence of the person permeated into the fabric after a long time, and it smelt pretty darn _good_.

But it might have been this last thought – about him considering someone's sweaty smell – that made Zero sit bolt upright, instantly woken by the disturbing notion that he liked the smell so much. That was pretty creepy, however much it was true. He woke with that feeling that told you you'd be going back to sleep soon enough, but for the meantime he peered at the pillow, wondering at it. Where was he? He scrambled off the bed, cursing at how the sheets clung to him, and glancing all around for somebody – anybody. Where was he? As he made to stand, he immediately fell.

"Fuck," he breathed, dragging himself upright again. Finally, he registered a blossoming pain from the top of his head, and it dawned on him – he'd been knocked out. The last thing he knew, he was arguing with Kaname, and then he was _out_. Being knocked out was so degrading. He felt the back of his head and hissed again – the lump was the size of a freaking tennis-ball. What did he get hit with – a sledgehammer? "Fucking geez," if it was Kaname (which he bet it was), he'd give as good as he got.

He scanned the room again, trying to piece together clues about it which would tell him where he was – but it was all so generic. There was nothing to tell him anything specific.

Apart from the smell. The pillow scent – he knew he'd smelt it before. Zero glowered at the pillow disparagingly, as if it had done him a personal wrong by smelling so _good_. It was a good ole staring contest with an inanimate object for a while, till he realised how stupid he was being, and dove face-first back into bed. Diving into the dent his head had left, he ploughed through his own residual smell to try to identify where he'd smelt this before.

It was the deep notes that got to him the most – the sweat, unfortunately, which told him who it was. Because the book pages smell told him this person read in bed a lot. The roses only confirmed who the person was really _had to be_ _**him**_**.**

"Shit," he barked, backing off the bed like it was on fire, "_Shit_," he repeated. What was he doing in Kaname's bed? Why was he rubbing his face against his pillow? He scrubbed at his face – his traitorous nose mostly – trying to understand – _what_ the heck was going on. Only then did he realise every word he'd spoken so far was an expletive, and that was not like him – that was Kaito's uncouth spiel. He had to calm down.

At least he knew he was safe – _shit_, that thought being the first thing that came to mind was just as bad as rubbing his face against Kaname's motherfucking _pillow_. (_Again with this profanity?_ his conscience bemoaned) But it was accurate, at least – with him in… in Kaname's room, he _was _safe. He rubbed his face, blaming this on his head injury. And whoever dumped him here.

Zero stood slowly this time, and went around the room in a couple of circuits – he knew he wasn't locked in the room after trying the door, but since he was in _the Castle where he always got pitifully lost_ he decided not to prove his poor navigating skills and stay put. Wandering would give him a bigger headache, and anyway, he was _curious_ of Kaname's room. It was so bare. So...soulless. There were few decorations, no photographs or even books to line his walls, and it was all so functional and Spartan. He expected it to be more lavish than this at least, but no – the bedsheets weren't silk, the sofa in the adjoining seating area was plush but modest, there wasn't a luxurious widescreen TV. It was so _plain_.

He sat heavily on the edge of the bed again, on the unruffled side, facing the corner of the room. The panelled walls were interesting at a glance, for they were of good quality and shone in the dimmed light, but at closer scrutiny they were just as simply cut and designed. He sighed. What a disappointing snoop. Nothing was of great interest.

But then it caught his eye – just when he shifted slightly on the bed – the light caught over its subtle relief.

He rose and went to the corner, where there was a marking on the wall, approximately waist-high. At first he thought it was the typical Kuran rose emblem, but then he recognised it from the uniform he wore everyday – the Academy emblem. A rose encased in a four-sided pattern. Then it made sense, when Kaname said: _You'll see the Academy emblem soon, and when you do you'll see how it was designed for them – the four of them._ The four sides – each to one of the four visionaries. He reached out to touch the carving, but then with a magpie's eyes, he caught another something glinting in the light that drew his attention. On the night-table. Bloody Rose.

"Everything's bloody _roses_," he grumbled, taking his gun and checking it over. Whoever left him here at least didn't mess with it. Otherwise there'd be hell to pay. Seeing the gun reminded him of their uncompleted task. If he was back at the Castle – which he bet he was – then the least he could do was pick up on the job everyone else seemed to have forgotten: finding the damn Weapon. That was what he'd do… after he slept some more. He shoved Bloody Rose under his pillow out of habit and clambered back on the bed when – as he'd predicted – sleep started gaining on him again. He dropped his head on the _other_ _un_-dented pillow, hoping it would be – ah, no. It smelt just as strong. _Guess Kaname sleeps on both of them_. "Shit, stop thinking about him…" he grumbled, tugging the sheets up. He blamed the smell for being so damn familiar. It was clearly messing with his head and making him feel sleepier than he should be, because everything was already blurring in his sleep-addled mind.

* * *

><p>Tragic, was one word you could use to describe the mood. Benomi's rasping breaths and feverish eyes were not good signs, especially since he was paler than the sheet he lay on and was deathly still otherwise. Isaya forgot how difficult it was to be immortal and unable to be made ill, when faced with a being as fragile and mortal as a Human. He could only presume the boy's suffering, because he was hanging on very well, sucking in the pain with each unsteady breath. It still hurt to watch him.<p>

"Child, is there nothing that you want?"

His voice was a cautious low whisper he hoped wouldn't aggravate Benomi's rest if he was asleep. For a while now, his eyes had been shut, and his silence made Isaya wonder where he was. He wished there was a way to ease his suffering. He was a brave child who complained so little, even this close to death, he accepted it valiantly.

Benomi's eyes fluttered and he moaned a little. Isaya flustered, taking his hand and patting it lightly.

"Go to sleep then," he shushed him, inwardly scolding himself for waking him (though inside he also wanted to keep him awake – what if he didn't wake after this?) "Hush," he intoned, brushing Benomi's hair back compassionately. As he did so, he briefly wondered again about the strange speculation he had made in his time sitting with Benomi – of his features that looked like his own. His dark hair ruined the otherwise _uncanny_ similarities between them, and his bright green eyes made Isaya think. Was he biased in thinking there was a connection there? Or was it true?

In the short time he'd known Benomi, and spoken to him, he'd become attached to him, like he'd been unknowingly reunited with someone he already knew. The likeness in their appearances, and the fact that part of him _loved _Benomi – had fallen in love with him – not in the romantic sense, but in the way a parent feels when they hold their child for the first time – made him _believe_ in the possibility that Benomi, just like Takuma, was _his_. His progeny lay on his deathbed, because he was Human – he suspected Benomi was born from his son before he died – his Human child.

Mortality was a curse on him, and _god_, he did not want to lose Benomi to it.

"I want…"

"What?" he said sharply, meeting eyes as green as his own, feverishly glazed and half-lidded. They were brimming with tears too – of pain or grief, he wasn't sure – which made them shine like peridots. "What is it you want?" he leaned closer, desperate to do anything for him. Already he was sold to this boy he hardly knew.

Benomi's tears spilled over, and it made his heart twist at the sight. The boy was brave, but he wasn't without fears. Isaya was afraid too – they were both afraid for him dying, but what could they do to stop it?

"…they can't help me, can they?"

His voice broke in the middle. Isaya swallowed uneasily, blinking back his own tears. He'd instantly deduced that Benomi must be in even more pain than he could conceive when he observed how little medication was being given to him – not out of cruelty, he knew – because he was Human, and Vampire drugs wouldn't do anything for him but maybe make him worse. He supposed the medical staff had done all they could. Now they waited for him to die. He simply squeezed Benomi's hand.

"I'm going to die, aren't I?" Benomi turned his head to face the ceiling, the line of tears dripping down to his ears and smearing his cheeks. The bleakness of his tone rang deeply within Isaya, and he felt like a piece of him was dying with Benomi.

It was then that he acted on instinct.

In one smooth movement he was bowed directly above Benomi, staring deeply into his eyes.

"Do you want to live?" he asked sternly, determined not to break if Benomi refused this – "If you do, I can save you, but you must understand that your life will change forever,"

Benomi's twisted expression cleared and he merely gazed at Isaya for a long while, considering, "You… you're asking to Turn me?" he whispered, awe lighting his whole face up, to Isaya's surprise. He nodded in answer, holding his gaze all the while. He watched the emotions play on his face: amazement, disbelief, fright, hope. It was the last one which – he could tell – settled the answer, and so he smiled encouragingly.

Benomi decided on being hopeful, being _grateful_ from this offer. To think – he could be saved. He'd become a Vampire, lowest-of-the-low though…

"I'll be a D," he realised, blinking up at the Pureblood trustingly, even as he said this, "And I could become an E,"

"I wouldn't let you," Isaya insisted, shaking his head softly, "I'd protect you from it. I'd take care of you, I promise,"

"Why are you offering this to me?"

Reasons like: _You could hold the cure to Pureblood mental illness_, or _I love you, my child, _didn't seem appropriate, even though they were already bonding as they both could tell. He cleared his throat.

"Many reasons," he answered blithely, cracking a grin, "I want you to live, Ben-kun, that's all," he tilted his head, "Do you trust me?"

Without hesitation, Benomi said, "Yes," confidently, and it warmed his heart.

He carefully unwrapped the bandages from his neck, wincing as the last layers of sticky dried blood tugged on his skin, but Benomi didn't whimper from it, so the task was made easier. Benomi only made a little noise when he leant down close to him. He drew back.

"You… you look like my dad," Benomi admitted softly.

Isaya smiled, "I'm not surprised,"

Benomi quirked a brow, but let it pass and shut his eyes, permitting Isaya to continue.

The process of Turning usually involved screaming, agonising pain and plenty of tears shed, but perhaps from all the suffering he'd already sustained, being drained of blood was of little concern, because Benomi lay there quietly as Isaya ate him. Everything was under good control, which may be attested to the fact that Isaya couldn't hunger his own blood – it tasted bland to him, so he didn't lust after Benomi like a starved man, wild on the taste of blood after being on the staunch diet of blood pills since Awakening. Actually, the taste was soured by the leftover venom in it, which kept him alert and focused. He diligently finished Benomi till his Lifeblood tasted – it didn't take long at all. And then he split his wrist open with a rough bite and trickled the first drops into Benomi's gaping, rasping mouth.

At the first taste of blood on his tongue, he stirred.

Then he grasped Isaya's arm and bit – by _god _did he _**bite**_ – and he gulped down Isaya's sweet, sweet blood like it was the nectar of life. Isaya barely flinched, instead looking adoringly down at his new charge, his fledgling, his _son_, eating his first meal. From now on, he'd be Benomi's Master, and his blood would have to sustain him. It didn't worry him at all.

What worried him was how short Benomi's feeding lasted. But the deal was done anyway – Benomi's body would begin to change soon enough – and it would be painful, but then he would feed again and heal properly. Isaya wanted to thrust his arm back into his face to urge him to drink some more, like a mother trying to feed her child peas, but Benomi nudged him away stubbornly. He was done.

And then his eyes flew open and he gaped at Isaya wordlessly, bloody red teeth wet and shining. His eyes rolled back and he moaned lowly when his whole body began to shudder and radiate heat. Isaya climbed off him, licking his wound to heal it, and he watched the Turning process with some excitement. Of course, with so little of Benomi to change, the process would happen faster. He watched, eager as –

"What in the _hell!_"

He spun around, opening his mouth to retort, but then his mouth snapped shut.

Stood in the doorway, but quickly marching his way over to them, was Takuma. His other child. He marvelled at him in closer range – how much he resembled him, how amazing it felt to have family. And = he watched, hypnotised by him, as he strode over to Benomi's writhing body and tried to still his flailing limbs – _his boys. His children. They were so beautiful_ – totally oblivious to the noise level of the room that was now deafening (other medical staff had flown in at Takuma's distressed cries, but his eyes were all for his children, and nothing else at the moment, so they weren't even there in his mind-).

And Takuma's enraged face was the last thing he saw, that is, because of the fist that flew at him out of nowhere and decked him right in the eye. And then, there was darkness.

* * *

><p>"Well, <em>shit<em>, it worked,"

The bemusement in his voice had her giggling, and then they settled down to continue monitoring the students onto another ferry. Her smile dropped when she saw one of the younger ones crying. She remembered speaking to that one earlier, discovering that his friend had fallen behind, and because of the rules, he'd had to leave him behind. Most of them managed to escape the Es, but there were losses. There were losses.

"I didn't think it'd work, I mean, when is splitting up ever a good idea? Y' know what I mean? But, like, they did what he said: as soon as we got far apart, they sort of… fell apart. Their mess is for the border control to deal with now," Kaito grinned at her, stealing another unintentional return smile from her. Why couldn't she stop _smiling _around him…? Geez… "Hey, you did good, kid,"

Sayori nodded, "You too," He had run across the town after getting his group onto the train in remarkably good time, to help her finish off. She, in the end, got the bigger group, from Isaya's uneven leftovers. They were all staggeringly well-behaved, but still, there were a lot of them. Some needed to be sorted to get to the airport instead. She said she would take them, so it was all okay.

"When you're done getting them to the airport, go straight home yourself, okay?"

"Okay," she agreed shyly, receiving a warm hair-ruffle. Truthfully, she could tell Kaito was just still pumped-up from the run, which was making him overly friendly. He was always kind to his students, but right now he was practically hugging everyone. It was strange, but her schoolgirl crush on him translated it as '_cute_', much as she digressed.

"I've got to get back to the others," he told her, "Back at the Castle. But I won't leave till you leave, okay?"

"Okay," she said again, softly. Kaito shot her a winning smile, and turned to usher a wayward child back in line. She watched him do his job contemplatively, vacantly impressed, that this was a warrior by her side. They never considered Kaito as being something more than a student-teacher most of the time, because that was what he was to them – a guardian, a guide and a friendly young tutor. But in real life he was a Hunter, and she'd forgotten that. seeing him like this was somewhat noteworthy, because she imagined his hands – ones that had killed – were now coaxing children to safety, and the spectrum of his abilities was baffling.

And humbling. She wished she could do more.

"Sensei…"

"Hmm?" Kaito spun around to his assistant. Expecting trouble, he scanned the area for glowing eyes.

"I was thinking…" he turned back to her sweet, low voice, and was charmed by the large, diligent eyes shown to him. _No matter what_, he thought, _I'm always gonna be a sucker for kids. _This realisation was found during his time at the Academy. Who'd have thought? "…can the Humans do nothing?"

This grabbed his attention away, and his eyebrows drew together, "What do you mean by that, kiddo?"

She bit her lip, "I mean… in all of this – the war – the Humans are the ones being fought _over_, aren't they?" he nodded, "But why can't we fight for ourselves?"

Kaito smiled at her zeal, but shook his head, "Wakaba-chan, you don't understand-"

"Don't _say_ we're not strong enough!" she suddenly burst out, stunning him into being slack-jawed. She shook her head, "Don't underestimate us Humans,"

"I don't, but the fact is that you don't know a thing about fighting creatures like _them_. Heck, your lot don't even believe that Vampires _exist_," he exclaimed, matching her voice rising.

"Well, we're gonna have to _face _it pretty soon, don't you think? With the world going to war right under our noses, we can't be blind to it forever, can we? We should be _doing _something!" her frustration was now clear in the open, and Kaito could relate to it well.

"I know how you feel," he said with deliberate calm, "But right now, this isn't the time – there isn't time to teach a whole race about a world it doesn't know. People will just begin to panic-"

"They'll panic when they see things that no one can explain! People with ripped open throats, and buildings crumbling down!" she cried earnestly, "It will be a nightmare when people start to see those – those _things_ run into their towns killing everyone! We can't stay ignorant forever," she panted finally, "Sensei," she pleaded.

"I hear you, kid," Kaito patted her shoulder awkwardly, "And I know this is hard, but you've gotta see it from our perspective. You Humans… you Humans are delicate. You're badly informed, and you'll just get in the way. Worse of all – if you step in, you'll just be open targets and fodder to the monster-mill. Those Es – those freaky things chasing us? They're made from Humans Turned Vampire. If a bunch of Humans get involved, it's basically an offering to them to grow. We can't let that happen, Wakaba-chan. So, please go," he gestured to the ferry, to her surprise she realised she was the last one, "Be safe. You'll know when everything blows over, but," he caught her wrist as she began to embark, "_Don't _come back," he intoned lowly, "Not yet, at least,"

"Not for a while?" she whispered. He nodded grimly. "…hai, sensei," and with one last glance back at him, she brushed her fingers against his on her wrist. And then she was gone.

He watched her go, satisfied that everyone was off to the Human-world, separate from everything happening there, where they were safe and Vampires and Hunters were harmless figments of the imagination. _What a gift,_ he pondered, _to be ignorant and free._ The Human race was much like a… like a younger sibling. A little sister, or something as sweet and innocent. Hunters were the older brother, vying for the sister's safety and continued innocence. Vampires were another older brother, disgusted by the closeness of the other two, and wanting revenge on the youngest.

Although… Kaito winced, forcing himself to… to accept that… _some Vampires are different_. He noted Kaname's actions to being purely idiosyncratic to the rest, and utterly suspicious. But when he also saw that Kaname was not the only one with good intentions: Isaya (completely eccentric, but good-hearted), the Night Class – braver than he'd expected and protective of their Human schoolmates, those irritating Nobles (who followed Kaname like dogs), and… and _Zero_. Zero was a Vampire, but inside he wasn't as _changed _as Kaito first thought. These were the weirdoes of the Vampire world, but the ones that were on the _good side_.

He scuffed his shoe on the side of the deck planks, watching the ferry fluff up the water waves and set off into the harbour. Even the waters further out looked more peaceful, further away from the… from this.

And then his momentary tranquillity was broken, utterly _smashed_, when he heard thundering footsteps – staggering and uneven – coming up the deck. Without thinking, he swivelled round with his gun raised and finger squeezing the trigger.

It was only split-second reflexes which prevented him from shooting Airi in the forehead.

"_Shit_, woman," he barked. But when she slumped against the metal railing, he went to support her, and up close he could see she was clawed. All over her shoulders, more on her back than her front, as if she had been running away from something that had been trying to drag her back. "Shit," Her arm was also bent at a funny angle, and her face contorted in pain and nausea told him it was badly broken. Her good arm wrapped around her middle, indicating possible broken ribs. "You look like you fell out of a fucking _tree_,"

"Try… a helicopter," she panted as he lowered her to the floor as gently as he could. His heart dropped instantly. Her eyes turned to him mournfully, "I got… to it. Got it ready for them. We waited… for them, and they came and we started… to take off," she shook her head violently, choking, gasping the words Kaito dreaded: "Never made it off the ground,"


	91. A Seed Of Doubt

**Author's Note:**

**This chapter could be confusing. Hang on.**

_**"No matter how much suffering you went through, you never wanted to let go of those memories." **_  
><em><strong>~ Haruki Murakami<strong>_

_**"So I placed my heart under lock and key **_  
><em><strong>To take some time, and take care of me <strong>_  
><em><strong>But I turn around and you're standing here" <strong>_  
><em><strong>~ Debra Cox<strong>_

* * *

><p>Trying to quantify his horror in finding his <em>saviour<em> feasting on the blood of… of some _stranger_ (who also had bloody red teeth) was something Takuma found he had great difficulty with. It was so surreal. He'd _decked _this stranger, right in the eye, hard enough to knock him flat out on his ass. And then he'd ripped Boy's jaws off the unconscious's arm, tearing out a chunk of flesh – blood spurted out of the severed artery _everywhere_ for a good few minutes, and Boy scrabbling around in the bloodbath and moaning for its loss. It was only when the shock subsided and his panic-induced '_**fight**_**not**_ flight'_ instincts waned that he noticed the blood shooting out of the stranger's wrist might just be _Pure, _and holy fuck, **then **the '_flight'_ part _really_ started to kick in.

But he managed to block out the – _dear god, kill me now, I just punched a __**Pureblood**__ –_ mantra in his head and focus instead on helping to transfer his unconscious interloper (holy _shit_ on a cracker…) onto another hospital bed. Meanwhile, Shiki got some people to restrain Boy, who was kicking up a fuss (muscle spasms, violent thrashing) as his body went into overdrive, desperately trying to reject the Change. The gravity of the situation dawned on him – this Pureblood had _Turned_ Boy. Whoever this stranger was, he had just waltzed in and committed one of the biggest no-no's in their books, and _lord _knew how mad Kaname would be that it happened under his very roof.

The staff fluttered and fawned over the fallen Pureblood, casting disapproving looks at Takuma, looking at him like _he_ was the criminal in all of this. _Whatever_. Takuma had better things – or rather, _worse_ things, to dwell on. Namely Boy's Changing. There was no way to stop it. They'd just have to wait, watch, pray and hope he survived. And then fuck. They'd better fucking hope he woke in a good mood – hope in some miracle, that Boy wouldn't be like other newborns, waking _hungry_ for his first meal.

"_Damn_, Taku," Shiki mumbled near his shoulder. He huffed in hearty agreement. "I hate to watch it… but I can't turn away either,"

"Like a frigging train wreck," he solemnly agreed, watching the soldier's body shudder sporadically. He was calming down a bit now, and – was he waking up? He thought he saw – yes, his eyes cracked open, rolling about in a fever-like delirium, and he was moaning low in his throat. They came closer to the bedside, peering down at him warily, like he was some curious Frankenstein experiment come to life. Would he rip their faces off if they leaned in too close? You never knew with newborns. Would he be a D or an E? – Sometimes the descent was instantaneous – more like a _fall_. Takuma threw his arm in front of Shiki, shielding him protectively, just in case. "Soldier?"

He hummed acknowledgment, sliding his eyes over them once, blinking indolently and _stretching,_ his joints popping like amplified bubble-wrap. He seemed pretty docile, so Takuma took a chance in placing a hand on his arm – he didn't react badly. In fact, he looked up at him with nothing more than bafflement, as though asking _Are you picking lint off me or what?_, which made Takuma let out a huge sigh of relief. He was alright. He was still himself.

"Do you hurt? What's your name, soldier?" he asked quickly but quietly.

He opened his mouth, displaying reddened lips and, and – ah yes, two pink pointed fangs. Boy wet his lips, smearing pink bloody spit, "Ts- Tsukuda Be-nomi," he managed to utter. His name – at last. Takuma felt, almost bodily, their friendship finally snap into place. He shared a brief humble smile with Shiki, ever a dependable fixture by his side.

"Tsukuda-san, I'm so sorry this happened. I should've placed some security here-"

"No," Benomi choked out, sucking in a harsh breath, he shook his head, "No," he smiled, straining to look across the room to the bed bearing the stranger. His smile widened, perplexing Takuma that he was on such… good terms with his attacker. Benomi's eyes flitted up to his – green eyes, he registered (with some resignation) – and he jerked his head at the other patient minutely, wincing as it pulled his neck wound open again. "Saved me,"

"Wh – what? _Saved_ you?" Takuma blinked rapidly, swivelling between the two patients. "He _saved _you?" Was he mistaken? This stranger _wasn't_ an enemy?

"Hmm," Benomi nodded once, and then promptly fell on his back, fast asleep.

Wonderful. Takuma raised his brow in disbelief. "What? You're not gonna _elaborate_ on that? What the hell was _that_?" he stormed over to the other bed, towering over the unconscious Pureblood, "Who _the hell _is he?" he roared to no one. Shiki flitted over to his side to dutifully calm him. He realised he may appear _slightly_ mad, but he was just so – so _annoyed_. The staffs were watching him as if he was a fucking bomb ticking to explode.

His mind was... messed up. There wasn't room to breathe or properly calm down anymore, not with **four** Purebloods under one roof, and now, also a _newborn_. _Fucking hell_. He had not signed up for _this_. There was a _reason_ why Purebloods tended to keep to their clans and not intermingle beyond what was necessary. In a clan, there was unity in the blood, and a Head who would keep the rest of the family in line. Under control. In a gathering of different clans however, the instinct to fight for "top-dog" place – the blood power-struggles, meant that tension grew heavy in the gathering of so much _power._ So, having four Purebloods in one Castle would make anyone uneasy.

Because who knew what they might take their frustration out on, or rather, **who **might be their unlucky victim?

You stepped the fuck out of the way of Purebloods when things like this arose. But sometimes you didn't even get the opportunity to do that. And then you were screwed (like Takuma guessed he would be, if not by these strangers, by _Kaname_).

"Taku,"

Shiki tugged meekly his sleeve, so he obediently took his hand in reassurance. Takuma hummed in question, tilting his head towards Shiki, but still observing the Pureblood's black eye already fully swollen start to recede as it rapidly healed. He'd punched him pretty good, really, for it to have lasted this long anyway.

"Taku, look at him,"

"I am,"

"No, _look_ at him," Shiki repeated, so Takuma did, for several minutes at an utter loss. He was mostly interested in watching the eye heal itself, shrinking and smoothing, the discolouration seeping away into the skin, and even the eyelashes rearranging themselves. Amazing. Fantastic. But then, when he finally saw past the fascinating regenerating skin and paid attention to the rest of the face properly like Shiki instructed, it suddenly made sense and it _clicked_, and… he just could not believe it.

_Again?_

It had to be some sort of… joke. An elaborate prank (or punishment) from Kaname, to send him… his doppelgangers, he decided. People who looked like him, come to mess with his mind and drive him crazy. He _was_ going crazy, he supposed, to be seeing these things, but he could not deny the evidence which lay before him. He narrowed his eyes, slapping his thighs in sore defeat and letting his head drop back to stare at the ceiling, asking _Why? Bloody __**why?**_

"_Son of a b_-!"

* * *

><p><em>Falling into the dream was very, very bizarre – like he'd been tripped, or been shoved more like, and managed to catch himself just before toppling. He was with his hands held out to steady himself and his feet planted apart, knees bent. The surroundings were pretty plain – a room with no furniture or decoration of any kind. Already, Zero knew this wasn't an ordinary dream. <em>

_Then, just to prove this notion, a door opened unforeseen – one he was sure hadn't been there previously – and two spectacular women walked in, both of whom he recognised, and both he had never met before. They took each of his hands each, leading him to a – a sofa, that wasn't there before either. He shifted uneasily, seated between the unearthly beautiful women, uncertain if he was meant to be _doing_ something. The fact that he had motor control at all was incredible. He could scratch his nose, wiggle his feet. He could _speak_ if he wanted to. If only he knew what to say._

"_So… uh, are you… are you really here?" he ventured lamely, already cowed by their bemused looks, "Or am I just…dreaming?" It felt like a sick misinterpretation of one of _thosedreams _adolescent boys had – sandwiched between two beautiful ladies – but __**not**__. Because he knew that this meeting encounter was definitely _not _for _**that**_ purpose. God forbid. One of these ladies was Kaname and Yuuki's _mother_, the other was Kaname's oldest friend._

_They shared another humoured glance, laughing not unkindly at him, and yet still managing to make him feel the right fool. Juri – clasped his hand in hers, and he was completely charmed by her sweet motherly warmth. Even if it wasn't in the romantic sense, he _got_ what Kaname meant about the Mecca falling-in-love thing she had going – in the brief time he'd known her he was already smitten._

"_It's alright sweetheart," she said in a mellifluously sweet voice, bouncing his hand in her lap, "Relax darling, you're safe," she gestured at the empty room, "See? There's nothing here to be afraid of. We're within your dream – everything here is yours. Nothing you can't trust," _

_He still glanced around the empty room warily, unnerved by the lack of control he had on the space and unavoidably imagining things that could harm him in it, but they weren't _there_, so forced the panic down. Then he snorted, "Are you saying my mind's empty?"_

_She grinned cheekily in reply, and then she sucked in her lips and she swirled her hand through the air, and he understood that she was trying to get back to business, obviously pushed for time. She returned to whatever agenda – whatever it was she intended to talk to him about, "We don't have much time, Zero," she stated with a serious calm that alarmed him. _

_He watched her hands weaving into the air and a misty window space appeared, showing a scene forming mid-air – of the night of Kaname's mighty Coronation. The scene showed Kaname standing on the grand staircase, accepting his ceremonial regalia with his tight, formal smile. He watched it play out, casting inquiring looks at the two women, but each time they both gazed back at him with unreadable expressions. _

"_Please, pay attention," Lady instructed mildly, so he did. He really did. He watched Kaname slip the Vampire tooth necklace around his neck –_

_but he didn't understand _why_ he was being shown what he already knew, and this as always, distracted him. Lady caught his eye sneaking away from the scene again, so she took his other hand in his, and it felt like a reprimand. In his head he heard her or rather _felt _her command him: "Watch, Zero. This is your only chance to. So learn from it,"_

_He dutifully returned to observing the scene – Kaname drinking from the Rose Shield, and then nicking himself with the ceremonial dagger – ah. Seeing the dagger sparked a hint to what and why they were showing him this. He understood now, he thought, "This is about the Weapon, isn't it?" his excitement was building in his voice, as well as his urgency, "You're going to tell me what it is? Where it is?"_

_Juri's bright smile drooped slightly, "Unfortunately, no. We can't tell you anything…quite so plainly, Zero. Those are the rules. But we're still able to give you clues," she gestured to the looping scene. Zero stared blankly at the audience clapping and then it went back to the beginning of the ceremony… and then turned back to her, because he just didn't…get it._

"_Do not assume things so literally," Lady advised, startling him by her sharpness, "__**Think**__," she urged, so he leaned forwards and watched the scene again a couple more times, obediently trying to stretch his mind further and work out what it meant. Lady's fingers squeezed his, comfortingly, "You'll understand in time,"_

"_But I need to understand _now_," he scowled in frustration, wondering why they had to be so difficult, or why he was so slow. "Why can't you tell me? We don't exactly have time for this. We're sort of in the middle of a _**war** _here, you know," he growled._

_Lady met his glare with an equally vicious one of her own. Juri took the role of restoring his patience with by caressing his hand in soothing calm, and then she leaned closer to him, cupping her hands to his ear as though to tell him a secret. _

"_You already know what my Weapon is," she drew back with a wink. The dagger? He tilted his head, but she carried on, "And I think you know where I put it," he nodded slowly – her Garden. The one none of them could reach – "You must feel it first," she placed a fist over her heart, staring at him with such unerring intensity that he was truly moved by it. "To reach it, you must _feel_," she softly spoke, tapping his chest where his heart was, "What I felt," she smiled sadly, "You will feel it soon, regrettably. I know you will," _

"_Feel wha-"_

_Lady turned him around, and suddenly he was standing on his feet. They were all standing. The sofa was gone and Lady was gripping him tightly, enough to be bruising. Her eyes were fierce, blazing, and empowering. He was invigorated by that one solid gaze, and dwarfed by it too. He felt like a giant infused with power, but also puny in her presence. _

"_We chose you for a _reason_," she waved her hand to the side, and another window appeared, "Don't doubt yourself, Zero," she shook him, "Never. Understand me? I have faith in you, you will figure it out. We would not have chosen you otherwise. We have been watching you, all along," the second window she gestured to showed himself and a younger Ichiru, "Protecting you till now," the scene flashed to The Night when Shizuka visited their house. Anger and nauseating fear rose in him, as it always did at this memory._

"_Protecting me?" he scoffed, looking at the moment when Ichiru sealed him in the safety area, "That was my _brother_ who _sacrificed_ himself for me," he watched his brother draw the trap door shut, hiding him in safety whilst he… whilst he went to act as Zero's dummy. That night, Ichiru took Zero's place to protect him…fuck, no – "Don't… don't tell me that was your doing. You _used _my brother to save me – you let me think he was _dead_-"_

"_It was necessary that we ensured you survived," Juri shrugged glibly, as though it was a simple annoyance that Zero couldn't understand their superior priorities. He bristled, but before he could say anything more he was abruptly shown other scenes of his life – him receiving the Bloody Rose from Kaien – it was almost ridiculous seeing such a large thing passed into his young-self's far-too-small hands – for protection, for self-defence. He understood this one – the 'Rose was made from Lady's essence, so in a sense he had been carrying _her_ around as protection all along. Then there was White Lily – and this time he was struck by what this meant: Lily – a white horse – and the fact that Lady once rode a _white horse _too meant…all this time, Lily was another form of protection. _

"_Why are you showing me this?" he asked finally in exasperation, after the scene looped, "If you can't tell me anything straightforward, how is any of this supposed to help me?"_

_Lady looked peeved again by his response but it was as if her next words were designed specifically to annoy him more, "We can't say anything more,"_

_He made a face. "Well that's fucking helpfu-"_

_He blinked. Just like that, Juri was gone. Disappeared into a wisp of nothing. "Where'd she go?" He spun a full circle. Yes, she was gone, and he blinked twice in alarm and confusion. Lady looked disappointed and a little concerned too. He grabbed her arms so they were double-locked in holding each other, suddenly filled with trepidation, the weight of his task now fully realised, and the idea of her leaving him now was unbearable._

"_Tell me what's going on," he begged her, shaking her a little in desperation. Time was running out, he realised, "_Please_. I don't get it. I _don't_,"_

_Now she actually looked doubtful of him, like he was physically offensive. And to top off the enigmatic tirade, she simply repeated, "You'll understand in time,"_

"_We don't _have_ time!" he wanted to rip his hair out to show her how frustrated he really was – "If you really want us to win this – if you really want us to kill Rido, you'd tell us how! So stop fucking around and tell us what we need to _know_!"_

"_Don't you dare tell me what to do, Zero!" she bellowed, and his knees buckled to the sound of it. Her eyes were liquid fire now, hair spinning wildly. Suddenly – just as suddenly as it began, it stopped and her expression became grim. "It's difficult to say something without saying it. Communication from the between the living and the dead is censored. You saw Juri 'go'. She was not able to maintain herself in your dream. I can only stay here because we share a deeper connection. So, listen to me," she spoke slowly, "When I tell you that what you know is all you need to-"_

_Suddenly, the whole room shook. The window panes rattled in their frames to a deafening crescendo and the floor beneath him creaked, the wood splintering and splitting from some unseen force. He gaped at her in alarm, but her expression told him it wasn't her doing, "We haven't much time," she yanked him closer, "Listen to me," the blaze of her eyes again intensifying and nearly scorching him in his spot –_

_And all of a sudden she snarled at him out of the blue – baring her fangs and narrowing her eyes to deadly slits –_

_And shit. If he wasn't scared before...well, shit._

_There was no use telling himself it was just a dream now. _

"_**Don't interfere**__," she hissed vehemently, though the volume sounded like a kettle shriek in his ears and he couldn't help but flinch in pain. He was totally lost to the direction the conversation had gone to._

"_What?"_

"_What they had was __**theirs**__," she continued, much to his chagrin. "You cannot measure up to what you saw," her eyes flashed, "They have always belonged together. You know what you saw. You can never compare to __**him**__,"_

_It wasn't difficult to figure out who she was talking about. Zero flinched as he was sent reeling back to those_ _blasted Memories, though it wasn't shocking to find them already hanging around his mind. They were always there. It was shutting them out which was the problem. But what was Lady saying? What was she talking about?_

What they had was theirs. _What they had was thei- oh, no. Wait. What was she _implying_? Well, he _knew_ what she was implying, but he didn't get it. For some reason, Lady thought he wanted to interfere with what 'they' had had, which meant their relationship... What a load of _bull_. He panted into her face, struggling to find words to suit how embarrassed and bewildered and strangely _violated_ he felt._

"_Hey, the fuck are you suggesting?" he grunted, shutting his eyes a few moments against the blast of wind that flew in from the shattered windows, "Whatever it is, I think you've got it wrong, Lady. I don't want any part to do with them – with _him_," his lips screwed up at the thought of Isamu again. _

_Lady didn't seem to care at all what he was saying though, and it was almost as though the words she was saying were rehearsed in a script, and she was reciting them, "You will want it soon enough. Yearn for it. But know that your desires are futile. Kaname will love only once, and once forever. He isn't yours. He will never be,"_

_There was ominous weight to the words she uttered, though the meaning still didn't quite reach Zero, nor the reaction Lady looked like she was expecting from him. He didn't love Kaname. He didn't yearn for him, or want to come between him and his precious memories of Isamu. All that she was saying had no relevance to him._

He isn't yours. He will never be.

_The words stung, he had to admit, though he couldn't even begin to understand why.__ Honestly, what the __**fuck?**_

"_I'm not him," he told her, "If that's what you're… saying. I'm not Isamu," shaking like a leaf to her pokerfaced stoicism. She barely acknowledged it._

"_You came back," she replied, sweeping away his statement with her own. "But you're not as good as you were. You're not good enough,"_

_Well gee, thanks. He bit back a retort. Not good enough for who?_

_Kaname?_

_Was she taunting him (or trying to)?_

_Zero stared into her eyes and there was neither the malice nor the gleam which usually came with provoking a person. He didn't see much in the way of any emotion, but some gut-feeling was telling him that Lady was manipulating him in some way. She was planting a seed in his head, but for the moment he had no way of knowing what that seed or her intention was. It infuriated him in the way that everything Lady had said to him was now untrustworthy. What information could he go on now? Fat lot of good all of this was, meddling with his brain and whatnot. _

_Lady's irate expression had dissipated sometime during his inner musings, and now she was left looking guilty, and though he didn't want to feel bad for her, he did. Maybe she thought her job was complete, and whatever seed she'd planted was done. Success. Though she didn't look exactly ecstatic that it was._

_Great._

_In the typical way of reverse psychology( or whatever it was), Zero found his mind panicking, desperately trying to dig up the seed and throw it out before it germinated. He didn't like Lady messing with his head. Already he knew it was a lost cause. And when the first of the thoughts hit him, it was with an almost tangible force. _

He isn't yours_._

_Kaname. Kaname wasn't his? Well…duh. Obviously. He was Isamu's. He would always belong to Isamu, as much as he belonged to Isamu always – blah, blah, blah. Maybe he grimaced, maybe his face crumpled in confusion from that phrase, from that seed of information that was now nudging at him insistently with the persistence of a five-year-old child wanting candy, but Lady saw success in his discomfort somehow and sighed, bowing her head in perplexing sadness. _

_Then spoke so softly he almost didn't catch the words, "Forsaken: he without heart, without name, without hope, will raze himself for redemption," her eyes filled with shame, and her voice unexpectedly shook with emotion, now freed from her prophecy, "I'm sorry to give you this task, Zero. If there was any other way…" she tugged him into a warm embrace and pulled his head down into the crook of her neck. Strangely enough, even with the knowledge that this woman holding him had meddled with his head, tears pricked his eyes as she whispered, terrified, in his ear, "…it will hurt you so much, my child. You will have to suffer through great sacrifices,"_

_Wetly, he scoffed, "What's new?"_

_She stepped back, releasing him and again surprising him with the sudden change from emotional to impassive, "You will lose yourself," she smiled, but coldly – "But you must _let it happen_. Juri has set you your path, so now all you must do is follow it,"_

_Zero just shook his head. He was overloaded and but at the same time lacking in so much crucial information, and nothing made sense anymore. _

"_Juri would want me to ask you to watch over her children, if you won't mind doing so," Lady said softly, a rueful smile hesitating to break the mood._

_Zero nodded anxiously, smiling back a little, "Yeah alright,"_

_She nodded, "Tell them 'hello' for her. And, you know… Juri had to leave early, but," she raised her hand to his head, and he flinched when her fingers curled, instinctively expecting a punch. Instead she positioned her fingers like a gun, "I'll always be here if you need me," how sweet – "Just dream,"_

_She pulled the invisible trigger, "Bang,"_

_And then he woke up._

* * *

><p>When he woke up, it was sudden – a jolt to his system, the shock of being shot point-blank and then waking <em>alive.<em> His headache crashed full-on on top of the whirlwind of confusion in his head, the dream still fresh in his mind. Zero wished this dream, like any other, would fade away into the back of his head, so he then couldn't dwell on it, but he knew this one was different. This one would consume his every thought and bug him till he figured out the damn _clues_.

In the instant that he woke, he also sensed other people in the room.

There were hushed whispers which set him on edge, and it was that moment where you wondered if you were supposed to expose yourself awake to unaware persons or remain covertly asleep. Zero got the feeling he should try to stay quiet. There was something about the rush of whispers that seemed to be above idle gossip of servants, an urgency punctuating the speech that convinced him there might be something to be learnt from listening unheeded. What were these people doing sneaking into – into _Kaname's _room – anyway?

"…hear him calling? That's – that's – "

"- I know. But he has told me to do it. It's an order. And you know he won't stop calling me until it is done,"

"Do you think he knows where we are?" there was a gasp, "What if he does?"

"Of course he knows where we are," the other one sounded older and more commanding. He heard them carefully tiptoe around the room, barely making a noise, save for the swish of their clothing. "That's exactly the point. We're here," the man sighed, "And he wants us to do this job for him because we're exactly where he wants us to be,"

There was a pause where both speakers were supposedly brooding about the task at hand, and the urge to open his eyes was almost overwhelming. But he heard a muffled creak of a carpeted floorboard in front of him and knew now that one of them was approaching his side of the bed. Who were these people? He hated playing pretend-sleep, but if he could just hold out for a while longer… he might… he might uncover something important. Zero tried to convince himself this, though he knew it was partially the sinking feeling that he was too late to save himself in this situation – he was completely vulnerable like this – tangled in sheets and barely awake and – that made him not want to open his eyes. But then, he remembered.

_**Wait**_. He still had _her_.

Zero smoothly slipped his arm under the pillow, in the guise of a languid stretch, rolling onto his front and drawing one leg under his belly – tensed to launch himself whenever. His fingers found 'Rose in the crevice between the two pillows where she must have been jostled too win his sleep… he hoped she wasn't showing to his audience, otherwise the whole game would already be at a moot. Assuming blindly it was not, he wrapped his hand around the grip, he slowly and silently (muffled by the pillow) slipped off the safety lock.

"_Why_ would he want us to do this?" the younger voice asked – he guessed he was a teenager, from the way his voice still grated roughly on his ears, newly broken, "What does he need to know? It's so…indiscriminate,"

"I know, but what harm could it do?"

Zero tightened his grip. The way they spoke so candidly above him, especially the way this bloke (whoever he was) made an off-hand deal of whatever their covert operation was, made his skin crawl. What he wanted to do was snap his wrist, squeeze the trigger and blast them both to hell, but the closer they got to him, their proximity revealed something unfortunate. Purebloods. Both of them. He wondered what these two Purebloods were doing here and why the fuck were doing. He wondered why he couldn't notice them till they were so near (was his Hunter blood being rendered completely useless now?). What did they want from him?

He stretched again, flipping his chin up and down in a quick, noiseless motion that let him peek between his lashes at the intruders for a split second –

And then, he opened his eyes fully, because –

The person in front of him had a cloth wrapping around his eyes that gleamed in the moonlight, so he wouldn't know if Zero was awake or not at all, because he was very clearly …

Blind.

Zero squinted up at his intruder, frowning when he saw how young he was – only a scrawny teenager. Hardly a form of danger. He looked like a wimp. But he smelt like a Pureblood. The more he was waking up, the more he realised they couldn't see he was awake (a stealthy glance to the other side showed that both of them were blind), but knowing how sharp the senses of Purebloods are, they could be tipped off by the smallest thing. So Zero forced himself to calm down, breathe slowly, and concentrated on making sure his heartbeat didn't_ speed up _like it wanted to. Anything could alert them. Even such tiny, unheard or unseen things as heartbeat or sweating would make it obvious he was awake_. _It was dark – night time again, and he could barely make out the outlines of the intruders' bodies, only seeing the white shine of their bandages stark against the night.

But it wasn't hard to piece together who they were, after waiting for his slow muddled, groggy brain to catch up – a Pureblood man and a teenager, both blind.

Nori and Kohaku… what the hell were these two doing hovering over him like bloody vultures? Why were they discussing things in secret? These were people they'd saved from Rido, people on their side – the good side, who he should feel safe, if not comfortable around… because they were all on the same side, weren't they?

But if so, why then was Kohaku clutching a needle in his hand?

Why were they whispering over him? What did they have to hide? Why was each of his senses absolutely watchful of where they were and where they were moving to?

Why was his instinct telling him something bad was about to happen?

…_he has told me to do it. It's an order. And you know he won't stop calling me until it is done…_

… holy shit, were they speaking about _Rido_? Fuck. They _were_. They had to be. The sons of bitches were in cahoots with Rido? Outraged, but also wary, Zero rose slowly, balancing precariously on the bed springs so he managed to move noiselessly upright. He was even slower slipping 'Rose out from under the pillow, with the sheets rustling against his arm. Shit. Shit, shit, shit. Whatever Rido was telling them to do couldn't be good, even if they claimed it wouldn't do him harm, he couldn't stop staring at the needle. It had a clear serum in it which made him uneasy – he was like an animal trapped between these two, in sickening irony he was the Hunter to be Hunted – to be tranquilised, or perhaps poisoned by the serum. Who knew? They said no "harm" would come to him, but harm referred to _damage, _not state – death was a state. He could be killed.

And even if he wasn't. Even if he managed to shoot them dead before they killed him – then his life would be over, according to Vampiric law. This was a lose-lose scenario he'd woken up to.

"Okay," Nori said, to Zero's alarm he shuffled nearer the bed, "It won't wake him," Zero smothered a disbelieving laugh, "It's sharp enough that he won't even feel it. But just to be on the safe side, stay close with that needle," the mattress dipped behind him, "If he so much as flinches, give it to him," Zero watched in disbelief as Kohaku obediently sank onto the floor before him and raised his arm to poise the needle towards him. He couldn't even friggin _see_! It was disturbingly close to the arm he was propped up on –

Kohaku's hand stopped, inches from Zero, and then he was pulling back and Zero restrained sigh of relief. He darted a look up to see the Pureblood's head tip to the side.

"He's…" Kohaku frowned. Zero only realised then that his breathing had naturally quickened in time with the needle coming closer, as had his pulse. Shit. He thought he could control them, but really, in a situation like this… control wasn't such an easy thing to maintain.

The game was up.

Balls.

"…awa-"

He pounced forwards, shoving Kohaku to the ground and pressing the nozzle of the gun to his jaw, tilted so it would cleanly blow his brains out with one shot if he dared move. The room spun and blurred lazily around him from the sudden movement, but nothing was so clear as Bloody Rose biting into Kohaku's flesh.

"-ke,"

Kohaku surprisingly didn't thrash about, or protest much about Zero on top of him. He wrapped one hand around the arm holding 'Rose and locked his legs around his hips. Zero tilted his head back, hearing Nori clumsily fumble around the mattress to reach them. He grasped Kohaku's fingers with one hand, and with the other he reached down to loosen Kohaku's fucking crushing hold on his hips, grunting as the bastard's thighs only flexed warningly. And though he was fully prepared to blow Kohaku's brains out before (_screw_ the law, he'd take the fucking death sentences) because this was simple self-defence… the fact that he was so young, the image of him beneath him so bizarrely _helpless _and breakable for a Pureblood made him falter.

Again, his heart was too soft. He didn't shoot in time.

He shouldn't have hesitated.

'Rose was squeezed out of his hand, and she tumbled off to the side, skidding under the bed. Idly, he wondered at the promise Lady had made to be there for him and how futile that promise was once she was out of his hands. Fat lot of good she did, laying there while he was being hogtied and partially strangled. He gave her the stink-eye and made to yell for help, but then Kohaku clapped a hand over his mouth. During the tussle, he didn't notice Nori slip behind him, nicking him with a wire-thin blade on the back of his neck, so light and quick that it took a moment for the cut to appear. The wound was so tiny a slit that only the tiniest smudge of blood coated the blade edge, and none of it gushed out of Zero's skin layers. Lightning fast, Nori whipped the flat of the blade over his tongue, tasting his blood. He made a noise of approval, and this was the signal for Kohaku. He wrestled Zero quickly and efficiently, in the blink of an eye squashing him face-first to the ground. The needle was jabbed into the side of his neck and the serum discharged.

Zero let out a grunt of pain, but after a few seconds of Kohaku sitting on his back, he went slack beneath him. His eyes rolled back and a small huff of air escaped his lips as he tumbled into unconsciousness once more. Kohaku turned to where he heard the bed mattress creak, frowning, "That didn't go as smoothly as I'd hoped," his father murmured similarly, "But, how was it? Did you get what you were hoping for?"

Nori nodded out of habit, "It's Ancient. Or at least, there are traces… no, not just _traces_. It's strange… complex. Like this Ancient blood is diluted in this boy's blood, so it is infused within him - it didn't come from him, but at the same time it _is _him. We know it has a mix of Hunter and the Pure blood he takes from Kaname, but… there's something _else _too_._ I've tasted Ancient blood before, but the one here is more potent than any I've ever tasted,"

"Which means it must be older than any you've ever had," Kohaku mused. Again Nori nodded.

There was a light patter of footsteps, before –

"K-Kohaku-kun!"

The Hanadagi's both turned to the door, Kohaku perking up at the Princess' voice.

"Yuuki-hime?"

Yuuki strode over to Zero's side, pulling him up into her arms and struggling to haul him onto the bed. She looked suspiciously at the other two. They were in her charge now, or for at least the time being till Sara arrived. Only ten minutes previously she had been reading a book to Kohaku in the parlour, Ruka making pleasant conversation with Nori sat beside her on the couch. But then, while she and Ruka went to go make some tea, they'd disappeared. They searched for them briskly, not wanting to wait for a full-out search-party to be announced, but then she had found them here in this odd… situation.

"What happened?" she asked, dragging the covers up to Zero's chin.

Kohaku scrambled to his feet, cracking a smile, "W-Well, we… went for a walk, a-and he-"

"We heard a loud noise and found _him _fallen off the bed," Nori concluded, meeting her direction with a small nod. She nodded back unconvincingly, biting her lip when she realised the action was redundant, so she hummed affirmative. But then she frowned.

"How did you… but you can't _see_," she said slowly, turning to the younger Hanadagi –"How would you know he'd tumbled out of bed if you can't see…?"

Kohaku ducked his head – a nervous gesture – "Almost… almost treaded on him, when we came to see what the sound was. What had fallen," he shrugged, "We guessed he must have rolled out of bed,"

"Oh," Yuuki continued to frown, unknown to either Hanadagi. _Fine_, she thought, _let them think their lie is bought, _if only so they felt at ease and may accidentally slip up on their lies. "Well, _thanks_. I suppose," she glanced down at Zero, "Though, you shouldn't really be in my brother's rooms," she muttered absently, "And please don't do it again,"

Even if they had been more convincing in telling their lie – Zero was a light sleeper. Sure, he was an _active_ sleeper (she knew he moved around the bed in the strangest ways in sleep) so him rolling off the bed was plausible, but it _would_ have woken him too. She brushed a hand through his hair (read: grasped his hair and shook him vigorously to see if he was responsive… nope, no response) before turning back to her guests with a considerably colder smile – _what had they done to him? was he drugged up? why would they –_ "Should we… return to the parlour for some tea then?"

"Yes, Yuki-hime," Kohaku replied softly, carefully finding his way to her and hooking his arm through hers. Nori came to take hold of her other hand, and though Yuuki felt trapped by their presence, she led them away from the room. Away from Zero. She glanced back at him once, hesitant to leave him unconscious like this. He wasn't sleeping, he was _unconscious_. His breathing was shallow and… he'd best be put under care. She would send someone from the Infirmary to watch over Zero, but first she'd have to leave the Hanadagi's to Ruka to be watched closely, like hawks. There was the instinctive reaction to chuck them out of her home – evidently they were doing something against their interests. _But_, Yuuki thought, _but, didn't Kaname always tell her…_

_Keep your enemies close, under your watchful eye you will likely know their doings._

So that's exactly what she'd do.

* * *

><p>When Kaito stumbled into the Infirmary laden with a heavily beaten Airi hooked over one shoulder, Takuma flew into a whole new state of panic, and yet he was waiting for good news. There should be <em>some. <em>There were so many bad things happening. Whatever happened to the good karma that balanced it out? But Kaito's face was grim, and as Airi slumped into unconsciousness and was taken away by the medics, he was left with the hollow feeling of there being no good news at all – the feeble sensation in your gut when you really understood that life wasn't fair, ever, and sometimes there could only be bad luck, bad news.

The Hunter slowly met their bedside with the weighted steps that spoke of bad news waiting to be delivered. His shoulders still rose and sank a great deal from containing his laboured breaths from the work of carrying Airi back, and his face was shiny with sweat. Kaito raised his eyebrows when he saw the knocked-out Pureblood, and then his eyes travelled to Benomi and his nostrils _flared_.

Takuma had never moved so fast in his life (he was exaggerating, but anyway– ) than when he had to _shove _Kaito back from Benomi and bare his fangs for good measure. What the _fuck?_ Kaito's eyes were narrowed in on Benomi though, in one hand he was already brandishing a pistol, the other was reaching for a knife.

"A frigging _newborn_ – guys!" he protested, still clutching the gun tightly and aiming it. Takuma babbled a garbled explanation in a matter of seconds, impressing everyone with how he managed to get Kaito to drop the weapons and simmer down to only resting the tips of his fingers on them, '_just to be safe'_. "Well, ain't that lovely," he drawled, spinning on his heel to the Pureblood's bed, "Couldn't keep your teeth out, could you?"

"We don't understand his motives," Takuma told him, nervously watching as he inched closer to the bed with a still-murderous look about him.

Shiki scoffed, "Speak for yourself. I have several _theories_," he gestured between Takuma and the Pureblood, Benomi and the Pureblood, Takuma and Benomi… Kaito's eyes lit up with understanding immediately, and Takuma groaned. There was another person now who shared Shiki's "_theories_".

"That's… whoa, now _that's_ weird," Kaito muttered, and then, to their abject horror –

He _kicked_ the Pureblood's freaking bed.

He… he _kicked_ it. Hard enough to rattle the railings.

Takuma actually squeaked in fright, simultaneously gaping at Kaito as if he had instead beheaded the Pureblood. But looking at Kaito – the Hunter looked stupidly unbothered by their _horror_. Unimpressed by the lack of response, and merely kicked it _again_ with a bark of, "Get up, lazy-ass. I know you're _awake_," he shook off Takuma like a wet dog, "Up and at 'em. Time's a-wasting,"

Well, of course he was awake. He'd _kicked_ him awake.

They watched, frozen in terror, as the Pureblood rose into sitting, stiff as a board upright, like one of those TV-show Egyptian mummies rising from their sarcophaguses. He opened his eyes a slit, levelling Kaito with a bemused look, and then yawning and cracking his neck. He rubbed his previously punched-in eye wearily, and then he looked at Takuma –

With green, green eyes. Shit. They were right. They were all _right_. This couldn't be coincidence anymore. Even with this one _look_, Takuma saw a myriad of different things reflected in the Pureblood's face – surprise, joy, (affection), relief, hope – and he knew there was _something _connecting them. Whether it be their physical similarities, or maybe, somehow, their _blood_. They could be family.

"So, what," the momentarily forgotten Kaito rolled his eyes, "Is this your secret kid or something? Dude, you could be brothers…"

"Do you know this man, Kaito-san?" Takuma stammered, blinking when the Pureblood raised his hand towards him and boldly touched a finger to his cheekbone, tracing it and then the shell of his ear. He was being… prodded. Stroked. He was being examined with a sort of wonder and scrutiny he was highly uncomfortable with. He heard Shiki stifle a snigger.

Kaito half-shrugged, snatching a pear out of the bowl of fruit, "Sorta. Vaguely. He's Headmaster's old Pureblood friend. Don't ask. I dunno. He's Shoto-"

"-Isaya," the finger that was prodding him reached down to take his hand in a handshake, "Pleasure to meet you, Takuma-kun," he beamed. "I've been hoping I'd eventually be able to meet you in person for a while now," Takuma was still in shock, simply from the Ancient name _Shoto._

Kaito raised his eyebrows, "Way to creep someone out, man. Seriously._ 'I've been hoping I'd eventually be able to meet you in person for a while now'_. Geez," he obnoxiously crunched on the fruit, "Some advice: get your fucking small talk down first before you lay something like that one down, nut-job,"

Despite Kaito's intervention, Takuma's awe-filled expression was not dampened in the slightest. In fact, it took Shiki pinching him and whispering an imperative, "_Taku_," for him to get his act back together, and then he croaked, "A-Are…a-are you…?"

"We are related," Isaya answered far too easily (Kaito slapped his forehead in the background), he tilted his head, "I am your Father, dear Takuma, and I must say," he grinned, "I am very pleased with how you've turned out. You're quite excellent,"

Wide-eyed, and still pathetically shell-shocked, he managed, "…a-ah thank…you…"

"Benomi-kun is a far-distant something of yours too. It's a rather rare chance that you both met, branched so separately as you are, but from the same generation-"

"B-Benomi – but he's a-"

"-Human, yes," Isaya patted his hand consolingly, "It's a long tale we'll have time to share later, but for now, just know that I did what I had to do," he nodded to himself, "It was necessary to keep him alive. And it was his decision,"

Takuma swallowed, but rallied himself to argue, "You should have refused him," he bit his lip staring at Benomi, now understanding his impulse to protect him came from the fact that they were blood-brothers, "You have damned him,"

"That is such medieval phrasing," Isaya refuted, "I have done no such thing – I will care for him, Takuma, I promise-"

"Don't call me that," Takuma suddenly snapped, "Do not presume we are on good terms. You… you may be a Pureblood. You may be my Father, but you have committed a great offence to us. Blood-related or not, it will not look favourably on me to pardon this,"

Isaya nodded brightly, releasing his hand. His smile was fixed tightly now, and it was obvious he was masking his disappointment from Takuma this way. He turned to face Kaito all business-like. "Kaito-kun, what news?"

The Hunter tossed the pear core into the bin, wiping his hands on his jeans, "Not good news," he confirmed.

Isaya raised one brow, "Care to elaborate?" he shuffled forwards a little, "The children got to their transport, did they not?"

"Yeah. My kids and Wakaba's got to their stations all fine. It was a problem with Hea-" he paused, for once glancing up at Isaya with a smidgen of something softer than his typical mildly derisive contempt, "…the Headmaster. Airi told me the helicopter never made it off the ground,"

The following silence was deafening.

"…but… what do you mean by that? If Airi-san managed to get away, shouldn't the other two…"

"I'm not saying they _didn't_. I'm just saying I don't – we don't _know. _The helicopter was attacked – Airi fell off it, she landed in bushes and didn't get to see what happened to sensei or the Headmaster. We'd be wrong to presume… but we can't be too hopeful either. It was just them three and the pilot there, and I think the Es were already fine-tuned to the Headmaster's scent after having attacked him before so many times and getting a taste of his blood. They were drawn like magnets. I'm _saying_, even though the plan worked in breaking up the Es numbers somewhat, a greater proportion still went after _him_," he clenched his jaw after this, clearly hiding his grief behind a strong, controlled façade.

Isaya was different.

His face crumpled at the news, and he looked startlingly _Human_ in his sorrow, even though he didn't go as far as tears, his straight-backed posture slumped. Takuma's expression softened and, kind-hearted as ever, despite his resentment for the choices his Father had made, he moved to grasp him by the shoulder in comfort and tried offering a small reassuring smile. The room fell into silence again.

Then Yuuki popped her head into the room, bursting the bubble of disquiet like a pin. Her eyes instantly fell on Isaya – the stranger in the room – and she sensed her own kind. Instinctively, her powers surged forwards in warning to Isaya: _my home, my rules – __**respect me**__. _He bowed his head in submission. It was primordial and fixed in their systems to act this way, but after the preliminaries were out of the way and she saw that he was no threat, she eased off.

"Kuran Yuuki," she held her hand out for him to take.

He did so, graciously, "Shoto Isaya," he smiled endearingly, and Yuuki all of a sudden felt like a little girl again, "Actually, we've met before, Princess. I was good friends with your parents. You were only a little babe, so I doubt you'd remember,"

"Oh," was all she could say, biting her lip. And when the awkwardness began to descend again, she directed herself to Takuma – reminded by her agitated mood that she had something vital she needed to tell him about – the Hanadagi's. His expression clouded at the news – possible spies. He honestly couldn't be surprised anymore by it. With the Hanadagi's enslavement to Rido, they had always known it was risky keeping them in the Castle, but they had taken that chance because the Hanadagi's were still _good_ inside(and in a similar situation to Kaname, so he could relate and sympathise), so they agreed they deserved sanctuary. But their resistance to Rido's mind was much weaker than Kaname's, who was well-practiced against it for the longer length of time he'd been under it. And now they were seeing the backlash of Kaname's misjudgement.

Kaito, tactful as ever, was the one to break the silence.

"So… what now?"

"What do you – what do you mean '_what now?_'?" Takuma snapped, rubbing his temples vigorously. "Now, we have to… we have to fix this mess in the shortest time _ever_ – **before** Kaname gets back. _If_ he comes back and finds us like _this_ –"

"If I find you like _what_, Takuma?"

All the hairs on the back of his neck flew up at _that_.

_Shit no, shit no, shit no, shit no…_

Takuma spun on his heel. There was Kaname in the doorway, Yagari hanging off one shoulder, blood and dust spattered all over both of them and the stink of it diffusing into the air around them. Instinct plastered a breezy smile on his face and he held out his hands rather randomly, exclaiming for all the joy he could muster (amidst the burgeoning dread), "Kaname, you're back!" Behind him he heard Kaito's scratchy laughter rattle the bedside table. He resisted the urge to wallop him in front of Kaname – who was looking around the place with an unreadable expression. Finally his eyes returned to Takuma, this time less pleasant, more… disparaging.

Inside, Takuma declared: _Goodbye _to the world_._

* * *

><p>When he woke for the <em>third <em>time, he could feel someone's gaze on him _again _– a piercing stare that bore into the side of his head and had pulled him gently from the depths of sleep. Zero noted that he was tucked tightly under covers, on the bed rather than sprawled on the floor where he'd been knocked out for a _second _time, and through a slit eyes watched the fuzzy edges of his sleepy vision sharpen into shapes. The side of his face was pressed to the nice-smelling pillow so he was facing the rose emblem carved into the wall; his attention was, however, distracted by whoever it was that was staring at him.

And, on second thought, the barely-felt brush of fingers through his hair.

He already had a pretty good idea who it was but he decided to wait and see. Pretending to still be asleep hadn't worked the last time, but right now… the serum was still coursing through his system, making him feel about as inclined to move as a sloth, and nauseated by the headache the dim light was giving him. Zero felt the fingertips of this person touch the lump at the back of his head absently, appreciating their coolness as a balm, and the fact that they didn't press hard enough to hurt. Their touch was not unwelcome.

"…can't believe you'd put him… _so wrong_, man…"

This voice jarred him out of his little daze, forcing him to acknowledge that there were other people in the room, and he _should _be more bothered by them possibly seeing him this way. But, strangely, he wasn't. He couldn't care less, as long as he was drifting in this sort of hazy "limbo" between wakefulness and sleep.

"…well I thought, you know… look at them, it's alright…"

"…shouldn't assume things…said they weren't…"

"…but…"

A shuffling of feet across the carpet, a pause, and then a low creak as someone stepped slowly towards the bed. Zero didn't have to fight to keep his breathing regular or his muscles relaxed this time. It was like he was asleep but aware of the world around him. He didn't even start at the feel of a warm body settling at his back, carefully not touching him. It lingered just behind him, eyes still boring at him persistently, as if willing him awake. At this point, Zero wanted to be difficult. He closed his eyes and let himself sink into the covers, and the calmness of the person almost-stroking his hair.

Just to mess around, he let out a sleepy sigh and shifted. The person behind him stiffened and the mattress juddered as they pulled back suddenly. Zero pushed his face into the pillow and then stilled, fighting the awkward smile that wanted to creep over his features. Even in this dull state of pre-consciousness, he knew what this scene must look like.

Far too domestic.

Eerily intimate, if this person was who he thought he was. But he was surprisingly tired for someone who had been knocked out twice, and the exhaustion was buffering his natural instincts which would have been to shove this person the fuck _away _from his personal space. It was a few moments before the someone worked up the courage to move closer again. A warm breath whispered across the back of Zero's neck and then, to his surprise, they pulled back.

The coldness from their absence was enough to draw him out of the last vestiges of sleep.

"Kan..." Zero grunted in the sleepiest manner he could muster, half cut-off by a wide yawn, "…ame. Kaname?"

"Zero,"

The mattress bounced this time Kaname more enthusiastically sat down on it, knowing he wouldn't be waking Zero by it. Zero was taken aback by the usually pristine Pureblood's unkempt appearance, covered in dust and… he wrinkled his nose – _blood_. Level E blood by the stink of it. His clothing was ripped in places, lines of red showing places where he'd been cut and healed, and yet he looked… otherwise, fine. Zero blinked lethargically, peering through under his lashes at him as he also swept a few cursory looks over Zero's appearance. He settled onto the bed after releasing a sigh of relief.

What irony… Kaname was worried about Zero when he'd been the one who went out and did all the fighting. All Zero had really done in their time apart was (get knocked out) sleep. He supposed he didn't look too great either though – practically immobile from the drug and still bruise-mottled.

When Kaname leaned over him to touch the lump on the back of his head, Zero was amazed that he felt no real inclination to stop him. His cool fingertips patted around the bruise tenderly, and then drifted around the side of his head to curl fingers around his ear and jaw. Again, the movements were too intimate for his liking, but he was illogically soothed by them, and so he only blearily blinked up at Kaname.

"…how does it feel?" Kaname asked in hushed, concerned tones. Zero snorted.

"…_hurts_ 's how it _feels_… asshole," he grumbled half into the pillow, shifting to free the other side of his mouth, "How d'you think it feels, huh? Y're th' one who fuckin' knocked me out, werentcha?"

Kaname blinked in alarm, "Not at all. It was that rather uncouth friend of yours – Kaito-san, who decided my methods were too slow. He hit you with his gun," he rubbed the knot gently again, "Far too hard, for my liking. I apologise. It wasn't what I expected, and he was too fast – I didn't see…" he bit his lips once, shaking his head, "It was dangerous of him to do that. You could have haemorrhaged,"

"He's not _that_ delicate, Kuran,"

The new voice jolted Zero, reminding him acutely of the fact that there wasn't just him and Kaname in the room. It sort of… ended the relative ease he felt, speaking with him, and made him incredibly aware of Kaname's hand on his face and his eyes that were looking at him far too… far too warmly. He backed out from under the hand and with great effort managed to roll onto his back to spot Kaito and Isaya standing off to the side, watching them with vastly different expressions – vague disgust and amusement respectively. Self-consciously, he instantly squirmed to put more space between himself and Kaname.

"Kaito, you fucking beast…" he put every ounce of effort into making his voice as acerbic as it could be, under the coarseness of its underuse, "… I would punch you right now if I could. Knocking out your fellow Hunter is _cold_,"

Kaito was absolutely unapologetic in scoffing, "_You_, princess, would have never have got a move on unless you were conveniently unconscious. Ergo, I did you a favour," he threw up his hands, "I did _everyone_ a favour! What is it with you people? Geez…" he slinked off to the side, turning to busy himself with staring at the blank wall.

The sudden cool sensation of those fingertips, this time touching the nape of his neck, drew Zero back to Kaname, who was frowning at the skin there. Then he knew why – Nori cut him there. He opened his mouth to tell Kaname – but was shot a knowing look, and then a meaningful look darted in Kaito's direction. Zero understood Kaname's reason for stopping him saying what happened – Kaito hated Purebloods enough (for at least a thousand people), and was already having difficulty accepting them in his space. If he knew what Nori and Kohaku had done to him, he'd go _mental_. He'd probably attack them and land himself in a big ol' mess. So, despite his own righteous anger at the attack, Zero knew it would be wiser to save his words for later. Kaname leaned closer, whispering, "Yuuki told me _those two_ were here," he lowered his voice further, "Doing Rido's will, she suspects. You can tell me what happened later," he nodded at Kaname.

"But why did they do it? They should've refused him," Zero murmured, "I mean, why can you resist Rido sometimes but they can't?"

"I was reborn into this second life due to Rido's Awakening, so I have known no other life than one where he is my Master. I was _immediately_ under Rido's control, but I was not aware of it. It is partially the perception of control that _brings about _the effect of being under control, you see. Since I didn't know about Rido's control over me for a long time, I grew up thinking I had complete free will, as I should. Rido could still control me - he still can, if he really enforces it, but otherwise I command my own life. Those two are **very** _aware_ of their enslavement, and as they understand it, they _must _do whatever he says, therefore they do it,"

Zero blinked. It sounded so simple, "So, can't they just be told this? Then they can-"

Somebody then cleared their throat, breaking their whispered discussion.

Isaya grinned, tilting his head cheerily, "Hello, Zero-kun,"

He sighed in annoyance, "…hey, Isaya-san," then, Kaito returned to the bedside in a flash, his scowl ever-present. Zero grunted brusquely at his sudden reappearance, "What _now_?"

"Did you know that this _ass," _he nudged Isaya, "Put you in _his _bed?" and nodded at Kaname. After a few moments of Zero waiting for Kaito to continue, and incidently, Kaito waiting for Zero to comment, he was prompted, "Well? What do you think about _that_?" What did he think about… about that? He blinked in obvious confusion, driving Kaito into a state of complete and utter shock and disbelief. "_Seriously_, Zero? This dude puts you in _Kuran's_ bed, and… and you just accept it? You don't think it's weird, or wrong? You've got **nothing** to say about that?" he threw his hands in the air, "Don't you _know _what this – this _looks like_?"

Zero turned to Isaya for an explanation, not understanding _what the hell _kind of a point Kaito was trying to make, or why he was not getting it. Perhaps it was his residual sleepiness making him that bit slower, but even his voice was stuttered - disconcerted - "…why did you… do that, then?"

Isaya's smile broadened into something quite mischievous, "I think it's fairly obvious-"

"- it's _wrong_, is what it is. Isn't it, Zero? He's got it wrong, right?" Kaito looked a little desperate now, his eyes begging Zero to agree. "I mean, you and he aren't –" he waved his hand in a strange movement between them, but, honestly, Zero didn't have a clue what was going on or what they were discussing. He found Isaya's wide smile disturbing, Kaito's urgency worrying, and Kaname's… Kaname's unperturbed expression _thwarting_. All in all, he was forced to concede –

"Dunno," he answered bluntly, ending the conversation with Kaito (even though he opened his mouth to complain) like that, and returning to his previous conversation with Kaname. Zero squinted up at him, twisting his mouth into a shrewd grimace, "So, what were the…_'methods' _you were going to use on me?" (In the background, Kaito choked a little and hurried out of the room. Isaya remained a keen spectator.)

His expectant expression made Kaname falter again, chewing on his lips and moving to put more space between them, as though he was preparing a barrier of space to absorb the impact of Zero's disapproval he was already anticipating. Zero already kind of _knew_ the answer to his question – he'd figured it out quite easily, but he wanted to hear Kaname say it. The Pureblood remained stubbornly, embarrassedly quiet.

Zero huffed, "You… you'd poke around my head, wouldn't you?" he saw Kaname duck his head, expecting reprimanding, and _boy _was he right in that prospect. This was full-out crossing a line of privacy – his _mind_, his **mind**. How could Kaname think it was acceptable for him to force Zero's mind into sleep? That was messing with his… his free will. His ability to choose to do things. That wasn't _on. _He grunted dissatisfaction, unable to do much else to truly express the depth of his disapproval. "I thought… I _guessed _it would be something like that. You've done it to me before, haven't you?" Kaname nodded slowly, "You've… gone in my head and… shut me down. Like when I wanted… to leave, and you just… you just-" he remembered attempting to leave the Castle that one time, and Kaname sweeping a hand over his forehead, and then the blackness of sleep.

"I know you don't like it, Zero," Kaname intoned softly, not raising his eyes anywhere near his direction, "But I had to do it. You're… remarkably committed in your decisions, but where they put you in danger, I have no choice but to stop you, even if that means forcing you to sleep,"

Zero shut his eyes, unable to look at Kaname for a moment without feeling his blood pressure rise in constrained anger. If there was something Zero hated, it was the raw sensation of vulnerability. It was the idea of someone able to peek into his innermost mind – seeing things no one else should see, violating his privacy... he'd always thought those stories about Vampiric powers like mind-reading were just _myths_. To have it proven like this was... was terrifying. What could be kept safe from these Purebloods, if not his own mind? The weird dream and now Kaname telling him _this _was highlighting the fact that his mind was not as impenetrable and safe as he had hoped. Needless to say, he didn't want anyone, let alone _Kaname_, who was only a recently made friend, poking around there. He knew, deep down, that just looking at Kaname now, seeing how ashamed he was – he wouldn't have delved into his mind with the intention of indulging in his private thoughts for the _fun of it_… but Zero could only obsess over the fact that he _would_ see _things_. And in the end it was still an invasion of himself, and that infuriated him.

"So…" he opened his eyes again, carefully directing his deadly glare at the innocent rose emblem, "… you _read minds_. You read _my_ mind-"

"No, Zero," Kaname surged forwards to fill his vision, hands grasping the edge of the covers, eyes wide and imploring, "Please, let me explain-"

"Go ahead," he said blankly, "But don't expect me to believe anything you say,"

"The mind," Kaname knelt before him so he was staring up at Zero, "The mind is a complex thing, Zero. That is something you must first understand. There is no real way of "_reading_" it like a book, as such, because it isn't organised or ordered in a way that can be _read_. Think about the way you think – there isn't one single, continuous line of thought that makes up your mind, but many, _thousands_ of notions and thoughts and… and things that make up more of a network. There are so many little things you'd never realise go through your mind. There are so many of them that rather than _reading _it, which is impossible, I can only grasp a vague impression of it – occasionally I can see a brighter thought, if it is more prominent, but that is all that I can do. There is no way to unlock private thoughts, like a door and key – the way many people are fond of visualising the mind to be like. It's much, much more complicated than that.

"So, when I put you to sleep, I only suggest the idea of sleep to you, and… the method is quite crude, in that it makes it so my suggestion envelopes your every thought till your own mind considers it. It's a little bit like me playing a song in your head till you can't help but sing along - I projected sleep in your head, and then you obeyed… that's how it works,"

"Oh, that's how it works, is it?" Zero rolled his eyes at the unassuming blasé way he'd chosen to end it, "So you didn't actually _see _anything, then?" Zero's fear lessened at Kaname's explanation, but it bounced right back when Kaname abruptly fell into reluctant silence again. His stomach dropped and he prompted, _"Kaname?"_ when he didn't speak.

Kaname shot a brief apologetic look at him, before his gaze scurried away again to the side, "It's impossible _not_ to see anything, Zero-"

"Oh _Christ_, Kaname! _Seriously-_" he manoeuvred his deadweight limbs into a somewhat half-upright position so he could tower over Kaname's kneeling form to assert himself better, "What gives you the _right_ to do something like this? What – What _did you see_?"

Apparently his challenging tone was contagious, because Kaname's passive mood was eclipsed by an equally irate wave, spurred on by his fatigue and exasperation.

"Is there something you have to hide?" he snapped, rising to match Zero's height, "Is there a reason why you have to be so… so…" he sighed heavily, "Look, I'm sorry Zero, _I'm sorry. _But for what it's worth – I didn't _look_, I only _saw_,"

"It's done," Zero muttered brusquely, turning to see Isaya still standing there, forgotten. The man was looking awfully out-of-place, and his smile was now gone, in its place a troubled frown. Compared to Kaname's breach of trust, Isaya's annoying oddness was a far lesser evil to face. He struggled out of the covers and off the bed, slowly getting on his feet and using the edge of the bed to lean on. It was _disgusting _how weak and groggy he felt, but he forced himself to stumble over to Isaya, away from Kaname. "What's…" he paused to snap his fingers in front of the daydreaming Pureblood to get his attention, "Hey, what's up?"

Isaya was pulled from his reverie, "Oh," he glanced between the two, "Oh. We should take him to the Infirmary, shouldn't we, Kaname?"

Kaname grunted in agreement, looking dejected from Zero's cold shoulder. But he still was bold enough to hold his hand out to Zero, offering him support, to his utter chagrin.

"Are you serious?" he shoved Kaname aside, "_God_, Kaname. If you don't get that I don't want to talk to you… well, then get a fucking _clue_,"

Kaname sighed in such a pathetic, crestfallen way that it annoyingly managed to squeeze some guilt from Zero, _fuck_. "I was only offering, since you're still a little… weak and unsteady, I thought you'd want me to ask _permission_ before I do these things, seeing as I've made that mistake far too many times…"

Seeing the situation getting a little hairy again, Isaya went to step between the two and offer his own arm to Zero, who after a speculative look at it, took it. The air around the three was so suffocating as they left the room, that Zero still felt like he was walking through molasses because the seconds drew _out, _as they always did in awkward situations. It almost distracted him from where they were going.

"Why are we going to the Infirmary?" he asked tensely, fidgeting under Kaname's burning stare on his back.

Isaya patted his arm, "To see your dear Hunter,"

That could be any one of Kaito, Headmaster or Yagari, he realised with some irritation at Isaya's vagueness, and fear leapt to his chest at the thought of it. When he felt tugging on the back of his sleeve, he tried to ignore Kaname, though the guilt gnawed at him more and more.

"Please, Zero,"

He tightened his grip on Isaya's arm, silently communicating for him to walk faster, which they did to some extent, but in no way fast enough to lose Kaname, of course. Isaya in fact dragged his steps till Kaname caught up on his other side. He glowered at him. Typical, that he'd decide to side with Kaname in the end.

"Zero, please. You _can_ trust me," Kaname grasped his arm, so he couldn't help but turn to look at him properly. He saw Kaname's guilt, his longing for forgiveness –

and he was reminded of what he and Isaya had spoken about before, at the Academy, while they were rolling socks. _The root of his problem is his unwillingness to forgive himself._ Kaname had difficulty with letting go of guilt.

- he stared at Kaname for a long while in deep thought, letting his feet be dragged along in whatever direction Isaya was going, wondering…

Maybe Kaname got the wrong message from his intense stare, because he released his arm instantly, as though it were on fire, "I'm sorry, Zero," Kaname begged, "I…I-"

"Okay, okay," Zero rolled his eyes, "_Look_, I forgive you for putting me to sleep all those times, okay? Just don't do it again. And I expect that you'll ask permission first... if you ever go picking at my brain, do you understand?"

Kaname agreed eagerly, smiling in thanks, yet the guilt still lingered for a while in his eyes, and it was this that made Zero absolutely certain that his lesson had been learnt. Perhaps even, _excessively_ so. He knew Kaname's tendency to punish himself, and it didn't sit well with Zero to leave him this way. It was too much. He knew that the worst punishment you could receive was one you made for yourself. He glanced at Isaya, finding him watching the two of them discreetly, with some gratitude as he met Zero's gaze, but also a look which told him he was waiting for Zero to do something _more_.

He felt somewhat pressured by Isaya, but also accepted the it. He couldn't leave Kaname hanging onto self-destructive loathing indefinitely. He had to make sure his forgiveness swept Kaname's guilt out of the window _completely._ But how –?

Then Isaya pinched his elbow, and he got an idea. A cringe-worthy one, but one that he knew would work.

And he subtly slipped his free arm through Kaname's, determinedly staring straight ahead, not glancing at all at Kaname's side. If he noticed his stare, or his arm being _cradled _by Kaname's, he said nothing. There was nothing at all to show his awareness of what he was doing, save for the scowl he made whenever he caught sight of Isaya's smug smirk. But despite the embarrassment and itching feeling of knowing Isaya was grinning like a creep again, he remembered Kaname's cool fingers alleviating his head wound and now registered that the feel of Kaname's arm squeezing his was alsonot entirely… _unwelcome_.


	92. It Could Be The Roses

**Author's Note:**

**Oh my god, it's been a MONTH. A huge, fucking HUGE wait between chapters. I am SO sorry. But now I can tell you I GOT A FRIGGIN OFFER FROM MY TOP CHOICE UNI. OH YEAH. OH YEAH~!**

**Now I just need to get the stupid grades, which is a bit of a buzzkill, but whatevs, yknow? Que sera, sera etc. I've been busy trying to get accommodation too, otherwise I'll have to enjoy squatting in the studio for a whole year. Fun times. Times a-changing, guys. It's getting closer and closer to moving-out-into-the-big-bad-world time. Ima getting ready to spread my wings and FLY, baby! My father is already exhibiting early signs of "empty nest syndrome" - meaning major hug-fests, dopey eyes and heartful sighs. Mother laughs at him muchly.**

**Anyhow, talking about _chapters_, right… well, as you can see, we're in the mighty 90s now.**

**I don't plan. In this story. At all.**

**So we may very well pop the top off the 100s chapters sooner or later. How does everyone feel about that? We've come this far, overtaken the 400,000 word mark hands-down, so what the heck? It's not that big a deal if we break into 100+, right? Hehe…**

**Finally, just because I've never really say this much, but… can you guys do like, _one _review, maybe? Ever? Only one – per this _whole _story, that's all I'm asking. It's a real pleasure to see what you guys think, and it helps me to write better. I need to know if what I'm doing is okay… it's kind of a confidence boost, yknow? But on the other hand – knock me down if I'm not delivering this story the way you want me to. I'll try to listen and change things for you.**

**I'm not gonna be all "REVIEW PLEASE" every chapter, all the time. But if you could just submit one review in this entire story – in any of the chapters, I'd be so grateful.**

**Thanks for reading, as always!**

* * *

><p><em><strong>"Some choices we live not only once but a thousand times over, remembering them for the rest of our lives."<br>**__**~Richard Bach**_

_**"I seldom think about my limitations, and they never make me sad. Perhaps there is just a touch of yearning at times; but it is vague, like a breeze among flowers."**_  
><em><strong>~Helen Keller<strong>_

* * *

><p>"…so, if I understand this correctly, he's bringing the war to <em>us<em>?"

"Yes," Kaname sighed, "Unfortunately, yes," They both knew the Castle valley better than anyone else did – but Rido knew it just as well as they did, since he had had grown up in Kuran Castle and would therefore _also_ be familiar with all of its geography.

"Well, that's…" Isaya trailed off bleakly, dispirited by how radically the war had suddenly shifted in Rido's favour. He trundled off to brood in a corner, dragging his feet as he went. The others were gathered around the Infirmary in heavy silence, except for Yuuki who had excused herself to join Ruka in taking care of the Hanadagi's.

The newest patient to join the Infirmary was swatting away at the nurses crowding him like flies – and yet, even though his tone was churlish and behaviour generally distasteful, everyone was glad to see he was strong enough to complain. The moment a nurse came to stitch his wounds, he brought out a flask and proceeded to down the contents as though it were merely water_. _Zero quietly explained to Kaname that the superficial wounds (no matter how ghastly they were) were _nothing_. It was his pride as a Hunter that was sorely wounded, coming back in tatters the way he did, and only a good drink could fix that. When the flask emptied and he sought out the surgical spirit, they knew he was maybe, _possibly_, going a little too far. And _maybe_, they should stop him.

Kaito insisted, "Sensei, that's _enough_," trying to snatch it away – but even with his senses dulled down, Yagari had surprisingly quick reflexes. He _wanted it._ He flung Kaito off him, spitting like an enraged cat as another nurse strategically chose that opening to douse another patch of untreated skin with burning spirit to reveal a hideously long gaping gash. A _chunk_ was missing from his arm.

"Stop," he slurred, "'s jus' a fecking _flesh-wound_,"

"_Flesh-wound-" _Kaito scoffed, "That's funny, sensei – there's not any fucking flesh _left _to be wounded!"

Yagari was swaying dangerously on the edge of the mattress so Zero had to hurriedly catch him lest he topple off it. He was met with equal truculence – a toxic stink-eye and rough shove to the gut, "Git off me… both ya…" and then Yagari frowned, squinting at Zero's face like it bore a dirty mark, "…was'na there…" he paused contemplatively, "…was'na there… _two_ of you?"

Zero's mouth twisted downwards from the reminder of Ichiru's present whereabouts. He couldn't verbalise how royally pissed off he was that Takuma hadn't kept Ichiru from going, even though his brother _was_ like himself – a stubborn bastard. So it couldn't all be blamed on Takuma. It was the effect of the Kiryuu genes. Yagari grunted dismissively (as though Zero had answered his question) and returned to pestering the nurses. Zero's eyebrows – which were already merging with his hairline – twitched, and he threw Kaname a disbelieving look.

"Did he hit his head or something?"

Kaname shook his head solemnly, but then in retrospect… shrugged tentatively, "I don't know. I went to Kaien first, and after I dropped him off I came back for _him_, but by then he was being feasted on," his wording made Zero's pallor turn even more sickly, "- so I… I didn't see,"

Zero grimaced, watching Yagari grapple weakly with Kaito, with the tenacity of a child having its candy stolen but the strength of a newborn kitten. "Is he _trying_ to… to drown himself?"

"He's drinking the pain away, I think," Kaito grunted, dodging a shockingly deft blow to his ear. His eyes reached Zero's, communicating more with that than words ever could, "Either that or he's trying to give himself liver-cancer so he can _die_… the melodramatic baby," he craned his neck to huff in Yagari's ear, "He's _fine_, sensei. Relax,"

Zero tried to picture what Yagari might have felt upon seeing his mentor – his dearest friend – being swallowed up into darkness. Knowing that Kaien – already so frail and defenceless, was most likely being torn to shreds with no one there to save him must have been _horrific_.

Even now, knowing for a fact that Kaien was safe wherever Kaname had stashed him, it probably stung his pride more than anything to know that in the end, it was Kaname – _Kaname – _who'd had to come save their sorry asses. _That_ was likely the reason why when Yagari's glassy inebriated gaze swept across the occupants of the room with various degrees of recognition, it passed over Kaname like he wasn't even there.

Yagari was never very good with thanks, never mind if he _was_ thankful.

"I think he's trying to replace the blood he lost with alcohol," Kaname commented, calmly reaching over to confiscate the spirits from Yagari's slackening grip and position his hand over Yagari's forehead, asking Zero for permission with one glance, "May I?"

"Definitely," he agreed, so Kaname pushed Yagari into sleep and they all solemnly watched the Hunter topple backwards like a felled tree, crashing into the pillows with an almighty snore. Once Yagari was down and Kaito wandered off to bug Isaya, Zero cracked a tiny smile, more for himself than anyone else, and dragged the sheets over his sensei, patting them flat over him.

Then he grabbed Kaname's arm, dragging him off to a corner and trying to ignore the reproving look Kaito gave him as he did this, because he _did _know that pulling Kaname aside might give the wrong sort of impression. He knew he was becoming far too accustomed to Kaname, so much so that it was unbelievable how second-nature it was to reach out and grab him whenever he wanted to for whatever reason and know Kaname didn't mind it when he did so. Zero wasn't naturally a touchy-feely person, but … maybe through all of that '_holding hands in the dark'_ at the Hanadagi's, things might have re-wired in his head to think it was perfectly fine. Nevertheless, Kaito's disapproving look was making Zero highly conscious of _any_ contact with Kaname_._ Whatever this is, whatever is between them, it's— and Zero can't believe he's saying this — it's _intimate_. Close. Something shockingly easy and surprisingly constant.

He held his arm so tightly he could feel Kaname's blood through his veins through his thin cotton sleeves, the shape and weight of his muscles and how lax they were, so dead-weight in his grip –

When they were far enough from the others, he released Kaname's arm like it was a white-hot coal.

Already he was fidgeting under Kaname's undivided attention and his fingers fucking _tingled_. Even with a few feet's space separating them, the intensity of his focus was almost corporeal. Zero imagined the sensation was what the Bond might feel like to Kaname – a very _real _connection. Only… he wasn't meant to feel _any _of the Bond from his side. This was all him. This was all his shit he was feeling. He sucked in a breath to remember what it was he wanted to tell him.

"I – I, um… Kaname – I had this dream," he almost winced at how it sounded, but ever since he'd woken the dream had been _bugging_ him, and somehow he knew that out of everyone, it was _Kaname_ he would talk to about it. Kaname was the only one on the same page as him, and despite how silly he felt, one glance at Kaname showed him he was being listened to attentively, and for that at least, he was grateful, "You know, it was really vivid. And… I can't stop thinking about it,"

Kaname nodded slowly, eyes narrowed with curiosity and not with the bewilderment Zero expected (he was slowly learning to expect the unexpected with Kaname). He gave him credit for not making him feel like a total fool. "Okay,"

Zero nodded bashfully, "Yeah, so it was… it was about Lady actually, and your mom too – and they…" he paused, trying to discern Kaname's reaction so far, but the Pureblood remained inscrutable as always, "…they were giving me clues to help us find the Weapon, because they said they couldn't just _tell us_ it like that. 'Beyond the veil' things, you know – okay Kaname, _stop_. Come on. Please stop-" he waved around frenetically, "-_listening_ to me like I'm making an inch of sense. Tell me I'm stupid, or crazy, or _something_. Do you hear what I'm fucking _telling you_ –I've dreamt that I've talked with _dead _peopleand I'm seriously, like _seriously, _taking it to _mean _something _– _and you're just – it's not _normal_, you know?" Zero gasped when he found his hand tighten on Kaname's arm, not knowing when he'd grasped it in the first place. He let go of it hastily (darting a wary glance at Kaito, who wasn't even watching). "I'm freaking out a bit here, I mean, am I going crazy?"

"No, you aren't," Kaname answered easily, "I know what you're thinking, but I've heard of much crazier things than having clairvoyant dreams," he flashed him a quizzical smirk, "So, don't worry about 'normal'. When anything involves Lady or you, it _can't_ be normal,"

Zero bit his lip, nodding, "Well, I dunno…they didn't tell me anything that we don't already _know_. Juri's Weapon _is_ the dagger – the _ceremonial_ dagger from your Coronation – and it _is_ in her Garden. So I think I should check it out. _Now_, I think. The sooner the better. She told me it was my task to retrieve it," he paused again, finding Kaname's silence and lack of sentiment rather unerring. "She said that only **I **could,"

"Okay," the King accepted placidly, to add to Zero's disbelief.

"Well…" Zero muttered, "_Great_," he scrunched up his face, "You are one _weird_ sonuva bitch, Kaname,"

Kaname scrunched up his nose, "My mother–"

"Oh shit, sorry," Zero grinned contritely, shaking his head.

He just couldn't get over the fact that it had beenso easy to talk to _Kaname_ about this, or that he'd been so accepting. Ever since they'd turned over a new leaf, Kaname was surprising him with how different the person beneath his mask _was_ – that he could be so open-minded and understanding. And Zero found himself liking this person. He found this person was negating every typecast assumption he'd made over the years of what he'd thought Kaname was like.

He was _different _from all that_. _He was _opposite _to it.

Once he'd thought Kaname was the scum of the earth, because he was Pureblood, which made him evil. And he was arrogant with Yuuki's love, which made him insufferable. But this – _this –_

was changing everything he thought about Purebloods. Because, arrogant though he may be, Kaname was _not _evil. Neither was Isaya, or Yuuki, but it was _Kaname_ who was changing Zero's mind more than anyone else. Just being around him all the time, 24-7, he was beginning to see things he'd never taken the time to acknowledge before. He was growing to like him. He was getting attached. Kaname was… Kaname was…

"You know, the more I get to know you, the _less_ I get you. You're so friggin' _weird_," he said with no malice and a half-assed grin.

"Weird-good or weird-bad?"

"Weird-_weird_," he grinned fully this time.

"Hmm," Kaname smiled mysteriously, "Well you know, the dream's occurrence might not be as strange as you think. You and Lady share an unusual bond, which I think may bare the reason for your communication and the fact that the crucial component to her plan is_ you_. What was the last thing you did before you went to sleep?"

Zero thought back to the last thing he did…

Son. Of a bitch.

"I put Bloody Rose under my pillow," he breathed, stunned. This was, by Kaname's consenting nod, the evidence which supported Kaname's theory, "No way," he barely whispered, remembering that Lady's blood created 'Rose, "So it was real. It _was_ all real," he stared at Kaname for confirmation.

"Of course it was real," Kaname said, making him feel absurdly silly for thinking otherwise, "Just because it was a dream doesn't mean it wasn't _real,"_

"So they were… really _there_. She really spoke to me. Jesus_ Christ_. But how did you… how did you _know_?"

"There's this look about you ever since you woke up," Kaname explained, and whilst they'd been talking, somehow Kaname had managed to whisk out of the Infirmary and down a few mazelike corridors, so Zero had no idea where they were. Again, he was bothered that being around Kaname so much had made him immune to his zapping-powers and sneakiness. He was given another unreadable smile, "_She_ leaves an impression on everyone she meets. It is one that imparts a certain _look_ about a person,"

"Your mother or Lady?"

His smile warmed a smidge, "Both,"

"Oh," was all he could reply. Kaname took him downstairs, ploughing through a couple of dazzled servants – and a pinch on his thumb drew him back to Kaname, who was looking a little peeved. He realised he must have asked something. "Huh?"

"Tell me what the Hanadagi's did to you,"

They rushed outside into the 'jungle garden' and hurried through it – and he understood their destination now – they were headed to Juri's Garden, at a speed at which most people _jogged, _though their feet barely touched the ground and they were perhaps even gliding above it. He tried not to think about it too much.

"They cut me,"

Kaname only grunted at this, much to Zero's chagrin, and then released his arm to open the gate to the Rose Garden. Upon entering the small, circular space, they separated – Kaname to the pergola whilst Zero vacillated at the entrance, feeling oddly at home in this place he'd only been to once before, and yet alienated by the sense of this familiarity. He sucked in a few lungfuls of sweet, calming rose-perfumed air, drinking in the rose vines everywhere and the shallow pond at the centre. Its still water reflected light off the surface like a huge silver coin.

"Lady has set this task specifically for you," Kaname mused aloud, tracing the ironwork of the gate to the Garden idly with one finger, "Therefore it must be in your blood," he noted serenely, not making much sense at all. He spun around, catching Zero off-guard from his abruptness. His blazing eyes were oddly empty and unfathomable, "I cannot go in there with you," he said softly, as though he was trying to convey something deeper with fewer words.

Zero frowned, replying, "Well…I didn't expect you to,"

Something cracked in Kaname, but he chewed on his lip, appearing peculiarly fidgety when Zero approached the pergola's mouth. He shot him a weak smile, and unlatched the gate, letting the hinges give out a chilling wail as it swung open, "Time in there is deceptive. You lose the sense of it, and some people say it's like dying, only you never reach the end of the tunnel – figuratively, of course – the _figurative _end of the – never mind. You shouldn't listen to them, they're only exaggerating," he babbled, "It's just…" he stopped again when he apparently realised his rambling, and the contradiction of his own advice.

Zero decided to stop him before he could dig himself in any further, "Yeah. Thanks. For the… good advice,"

From Kaname's unsettling description, the pretty latticed archway and green vine-coated insides of the pergola were forever tarnished in his mind, transformed into the veritable route to certain, yet unreachable, _death_ (thank you very much). And with Kaname staring down at his shoes and literally toeing at the ground, his confidence plummeted even further. Standing in the dark mouth of the pergola was like facing a dragon's mouth, in the way it wanted to _swallow him up_.

Zero clapped Kaname awkwardly on the arm, wincing at the loud sound it made in the awkward silence and the buzzing of startled blood cells trembling in his fingertips. Kaname looked equally stunned by the contact – and his hand flew up to catch Zero's wrist. His eyes travelled ever so slowly from Zero's startled face to his shoulder, down the length of his arm to his hand clutched around Zero's, eyeing it like it was something particularly fascinating.

"…uh, I mean…" Zero scrunched up his face, squeezing Kaname's bicep once before releasing it, "…I'll be fine. Don't…" he sucked in a sharp breath, "…don't _worry_ too much about me, okay?" he forced himself to meet Kaname's wide eyes –

and was caught in the transparency of them, and how they revealed so many emotions on a level that was borderline an invasion of his privacy. It was both riveting and terrifying to see the stoic Pureblood's emotions plain on show –

- and then Zero realised he was full-out _staring _at him, and _God_ was that embarrassing. He was reminded of Kaito's condemning look – and Zero's face flushed hot pink, much to chagrin.

He scoffed brusquely, taking a leaf out of his sensei's book and shaking off the weird chick-flickmoment like a wet dog with puddle-water. Thankfully, Kaname had the decency to carry on and they pretend it never happened. He was given a sharp nod, and then strode into the pergola, glancing only once behind him to glimpse Kaname's open face one last time. The cool prickle of waxy leaves brushed his hands, overgrown on the vines, and he had to push some of them aside to squeeze through the tight space. Another glance back, to his surprise, showed Kaname was _gone_. The entrance was _gone _too – swallowed up by the leaves_._ He'd only walked a couple yards, and yet the gate, and Kaname, had both vanished, and he was left in a very dark, very leafy tunnel.

The thickness of the vines and leaves obscured much of the light, so there were scattered patterns of white dots on the floor where the light managed to peak through. It was like back in the aqueduct – the lights looking like stars – only, these ones tickled his face with light and trembled with every breeze shaking the leaves. There was impossible heat from such little light trapped by the canopy of leaves, and the moistness of the air – its humidity reminded Zero of a rainforest, though it didn't mist on his skin and was in fact, oddly _refreshing._ It was like walking through a starlit, dark, sauna. In other words, it was totally bizarre. And totally brilliant.

But as Zero walked… and walked, and walked through this single line of rainforest-like darkness, the novelty wore off and he began to see that things weren't changing. There was nowhere else to go but forwards, and yet he had an itch that going forwards wasn't getting him _anywhere_.

But wasn't he supposed to get to the end? Wasn't he the one chosen to obtain the Weapon? So why wasn't he reaching the end? Why –?

Zero panted gently, realising his walking-pace had subconsciously accelerated to a panicked stagger and he started to feel more and more like a mouse trapped in a maze. He was lurching side-to-side drunkenly in a zig-zag along the narrow width of tunnel, clawing at the vine-covered lattice and dragging himself onwards on the dwindling hope that the end was close. All he wanted was a way out.

All he had to do, was turn around.

He bit his lip, coming to a stop.

All he had to do was turn around. He could give up. It wasn't in his nature, but he could. But…he _couldn't_. What about the Weapon? He _had _to get it. The war _depended_ on it. _Could_ he give up? He'd have to eventually, right? Already, after what seemed like hours, he was reaching the same conclusion as many – the Garden was simply unreachable. He didn't give up. He _never _gave up. But this time, unfortunately, there was no other choice.

Zero turned around reluctantly, biting back his frustration, and he took the first step of failure back to where he'd come from.

Then there was Kaname, when he stumbled out of the gate, there was _Kaname_. He was in exactly where he'd left him, with the same fragile, mystified expression on his face. It was a relief to see him, and as he was caught by him he took the time to reacquaint himself with light and colour. He calmed his heartbeat and relaxed, knowing he was out.

"You…" Kaname muttered, gently un-tucking his arms he'd wrapped around himself and prising open his tightly-clenched fists. Both of them startled at the scratches all over his palms, bright red blood weeping into the creases of his fingers and bringing relief to the whorls and spirals in his skin. "…you didn't get there?" Kaname frowned at him slightly, stabbing Zero with his tone of disappointment, "I thought you said you could," he turned his hands around in his, inspecting them gently with curious eyes. Zero hissed when his fingers touched a couple of deeper cuts.

"_She_ said I could," he corrected, shivering in the sudden coolness, "But clearly she was wrong,"

"She is never wrong. What else did she say?"

Zero recited, "_To reach it you must feel what I felt,"_ but what did that _mean?_ All these riddles, all these puzzles and mazes and…

"It's not your fault. You tried," Kaname replied briskly, "You tried," he repeated, as though trying and failing meant anything. His clipped tone translated to:_ thanks for nothing, you useless sack of meat_. _**Now**__ what are we supposed to do? You were our only hope._ Contradictory to _this_, Kaname gently unfolded Zero's hand, "Look,"

Before he _could_ look, Kaname lifted them to his face and –

"Whoa! Hey-!"

– _licked_ his thumb clean. One long lick, all the way from the delicate webbed junction to the fingernail, before Zero could even twitch in surprise. He tugged on his hands, frantic and mute from shock. Even with the harsh jerks he gave, strong enough to loosen his joints, he was held firmly, and Kaname continued his assault to his palm in zig-zags to the fold where his fingers joined.

"Kaname – seriously – what the fu-!"

The wet, smooth glide of Kaname's tongue had Zero's blush intensified to fire-truck-red, and he sputtered like a dying engine – words of consternation dying in his throat. The sting of the cuts was abated before they could manifest, and they were soothed, _healed_. When the wounds were adequately coated in spit, Zero felt like his chest was on fire. It was only then that he realised he had been holding his breath the whole time, and now his lungs were screaming for air.

"…what the–" he managed, heaving on air like a drowning man. Kaname chose that moment to tilt his head artlessly and frown at _him_ like _he _was the one who'ddone something incredibly crossing-the-line _weird_. Friggin _weird. _His eyes were a blazing red – _bloodthirst eyes – _but they were sharp with clarity, so he wasn't insanely freaked out. Kaname grunted and panted with the effort of containing the bloodlust and his eyes instantly returned to normal. The same could not be said of Zero, whose mind was still cracked and sparking like a live wire, who was stuck staring at his hands, unable to even glance at Kaname without feeling uncomfortably open and bared to him.

Where did Kaname get the chutzpah to pull something like that? Licking him – like an ice cream cone. It wasn't normal. It wasn't –

"You cut your hands," he informed him pointlessly, as if he didn't already know. Zero nodded dazedly, forcing himself to ignore the tingles left in zig-zags on his skin, and wondering why he wasn't making a bigger deal of this (like slugging Kaname in the chops)_._ Kaname turned his hand this way and that, raising it to the light. They both winced as Kaname plucked two deeply embedded thorns out of Zero's skin, "…are these… thorns?"

"Uh… yeah, yeah they are," Zero muttered numbly.

"Where did they come from? There aren't any roses in there," he gestured at the pergola, froze, and jerked back to Zero, "_Unless.._. unless Lady was _right_," Kaname breathed, "Because for everyone else who has ever attempted to reach my mother's Garden, none have ever been scratched by _thorns_. And, _maybe_," he pinned Zero with an intense stare, "Maybe it is a sign that _you_ have managed to go furtherthan anyone else has, because," Kaname's voice was rising in his excitement – "My mother's Garden is said to be bordered by thousands upon thousands of roses. _So,_ if you got scratched -"

"It could be the roses," Zero concluded, trying to recall if he saw any roses at all. As far as he knew, he hadn't – but then again, it was so dark in there, "So you think I almost reached it?"

Kaname smiled, nodding with satisfaction. "Maybe," he answered, "But something prevented you from reaching the very end,"

"Yeah," he agreed quietly, frowning.

"So," Kaname continued, "Go find Ruka. Talk to her about this, since she is decidedly the expert in this subject. Maybe she can offer fresh eyes –" he stopped suddenly, whipping around to stare at something in the distance, farther than the eye could see. His absolute dead-focus reminded Zero of a bloodhound catching scent of its far-off prey. Then he cocked his head in such a way it became obvious he was maybe _listening _for something, rather than looking for it.

Kaname delicately sniffed a few times, and his eyebrows drew together sharply, jaw slackening in dread. He grabbed Zero and tugged him behind him, and Zero reached out to catch him in turn. Clutching the base of his neck, he could feel every inch of the muscles there bunched up in tension and vigilance and shuddered at the almost electric alertness that rolled off of Kaname in waves.

His hand on Kaname was equivalent to leashing a bloodhound who was raring to go, and when he bristled up, Zero tugged him back, "Kaname? What is it?" he demanded in a whisper.

"I must go," he choked out, Zero's grip slipping from him, "I'm needed elsewhere,"

"Why?" he eyed the roses like they were a thousand eyes watching them. The tension in the air was punctuated by the far cry of a bird mid-flight – something that made him jump, Kaname barely batted an eyelash to it.

It was when they heard the muffled sounds of people in the Castle cut into abrupt silence that Kaname rose and Zero's hand slid fully from his back. "I must go," he repeated, looking Zero up and down warily; just as Zero was opening his mouth to protest, the air was cut by a swift, cool breeze that shook the roses on their vines and filled the air with sweetness. The passage of air flowed out from the Castle, which alerted Zero to the fact that this was unnatural.

"Kaname?" he tried again, but Kaname wasn't listening to him. His attention was still elsewhere focused and inaccessible in mind or sight. When he turned back to Zero, his expression was almost like he was surprised that he was still there.

"She's here," he uttered lowly, darting a glance towards the gale of wind that was dying down. The sweetness in the air remained, and its perfume started to stick to Zero's throat in a sickening, cloying way. Kaname sighed, "When you're finished talking with Ruka, go straight to your room," he frowned, "Stay out of sight and earshot. I'll explain everything later. Now, go,"

Kaname gave a small push, and when Zero turned around to curse him, he was gone.

* * *

><p>"…I don't know what he means by 'expert'. I can hardly call myself that,"<p>

"Whatever," he grunted, shoving his hands deep in his pockets, "He said to come to _you_. And I'm here now, so…"

Ruka peered down at him coolly from her perch atop the first storey ladder, balancing on the rungs with one hand, the other stroking up and down the spines of a thousand tomes. A library – any library, for Zero – demanded peace and quiet, so he was forced to rein his frustration to grunts and growls. Ruka spoke loudly, much to his chagrin, and her haughty voice only dipped whenever she spoke tenderly of her beloved '_him_' or Juri. Zero eyed the diary on the table. He still hadn't opened it yet, even though it was what Ruka shoved into his hands immediately after he approached her.

"Well," she passed him a dusty, ratty copy of something, "You'll have to tell me what you know before I can share my part. We can swap notes and everything,"

He told her about the dream without specifically referring to it as a _dream_, filtering out personal details and going right to the clues and Juri's riddle. He even omitted Lady from the description, but mentioning Juri was the bonus that had Ruka joining him at the table. She brushed a lock of hair behind her ear, chewing her pen thoughtfully.

"Hmm…" she tapped something scribbled in the margin, "So… ceremonial objects…"

"Yeah, the ones at the Coronation," Zero nodded, "But not _literally, _she said. Just, like, what they represent, maybe? Maybe that's what she meant," he shrugged, "Beats me. I'm just guessing here,"

"But Juri's dagger _**is**_ a confirmed Weapon," she flicked through a few pages, "And it is in the Garden," another two, then she wedged a pen between the pages as a marker, "And _you _are the only one who can get it, she said, and the advice you… _received _was-"

"'_To reach it you must feel what I felt'_, yeah," he recited easily. The words were permanently stuck in his head like a mantra now.

Ruka raised her eyebrow slowly, "_Okay_. And you say Juri – _the Juri – _told you this in a dream_,"_

He sighed heavily, "Look," he leant forwards grumpily, "I'm not asking you to believe me here. I'm just asking you to _help _me-"

Ruka waved him off, "Yeah, yeah, I hear you. I'm just… you're just really weird, you know?"

"Gee thanks," he rolled his eyes, much to her amusement.

"Okay," she agreed, "_So_, she told you to feel what she felt… which would _mean_, as far as I understand…" she pulled the diary to herself, resting her hand on it almost as if it were a Bible she was swearing to, "…anger. Desperation. Fear – just – read it for yourself, Kiryuu. She had it rough. _Read_,"

Zero skimmed over the entry briefly, slamming it shut just to make Ruka wince.

"Be more helpful," he growled, shoving the book back to her. "I don't know _shit_ about _feelings_. Just tell me what to do, goddamnit,"

Ruka levelled him with a sharp glare, "Listen here, attitude – _I don't know_. All I know from what I've read – over and _over _again – is that she wanted to get rid of the dagger. Like – she was paranoid – she relied on the dagger far more than she should have and she needed it like it was a part of her. But as you might have guessed, its effect was double-edged – it also kept her tied to bad times in her past.

"Do you know how the Weapon was made?" Zero shook his head, much to her annoyance. She tapped the diary, "It's written in here, but since you can't be bothered to read – it was at Juri and Haruka's wedding. In the shorter version, Rido barged in – still in love with her – and you can _imagine _what he did,"

"To her?"

"Yeah, but fortunately she had the ceremonial dagger at hand during his attack. Out of fear, she made the dagger into a Weapon," Ruka finished, stroking the diary almost sympathetically, "She was so distressed by it, she barely wrote about it at all. But ever since then, she constantly wrote about the dagger – it went wherever she went. She became so obsessed over it, and in my opinion made a big mistake of holding onto it,"

Zero frowned, "Why? It comforted her,"

Ruka shook her head, "It did, but think about it," she grasped the book, "Never being able to forget, never being able to let go of all that negativity. Day in, day out, it almost drove her mad. She blamed herself for letting it take control over her. Things were so _broken_ in their family, and I never knew," her eyes were wide and wet. Zero cleared his throat. "It was all because of this dagger, because of what it did,"

"She put it in the Garden though, didn't she? I bet she knew she couldn't destroy it, so instead she cut herself off,"

"Hmm," Ruka nodded, "It helped a bit, I guess,"

"Okay," Zero clasped his hands together, "So… what am I supposed to get from this?"

She clicked her teeth in thought, "Honestly, I don't know," she said slowly, "Maybe… maybe you're supposed to empathise with the situation, rather than the feelings. I mean – it's impossible to know what she felt. So maybe what she meant was that you should relate to a similar experience,"

Zero balked, "But… but I've never _had _anything like that. I mean – what part of any of that can I relate to?"

"Think," Ruka urged, leaning forwards, "And then _you _tell _**me**__,_"

"_No_, thank you," Zero made a move to stand up, but Ruka intercepted him with a swipe.

"Si'down," she snapped, "We've gotta think about this more _figuratively_, you said, so what if we take this a different way? What was Juri's intention – to get rid of the dagger. But maybe it wasn't only the dagger she wanted rid of, but the _obsession_. And… _who_ was the root of this obsession?"

Of course.

"Rido," he breathed.

Ruka nodded. Zero shook his head, "So… I just have to… think about getting rid of Rido. Like – really _focus _on that thought… and then I'll get in?"

"Maybe," she narrowed her eyes pensively, "I dunno, it's a _thought_,"

"Great," Zero sighed, "But I already _want_ that, I think about it all the time – if not always, it's there at the back of my mind. I don't get why it didn't work,"

"Maybe you need concentrate harder," Ruka stood up from the table. "It wouldn't surprise me if you find you need to put the _effort _into projecting the feelings, since you supposedly '_don't know shit about feelings'_,"

He scowled as she packed up her books to leave, his mind a multitudinous whirl of things beckoning to him for his attention. After a few minutes of sitting there, the headache blossomed to exhibiting signs that it would escalate to bloodthirst. _Super. _Kaname had told him to go straight to his room, but he'd need to go to the Infirmary to get a blood bag. He'd had to ask the servants for directions to navigate his way to Ruka in the Warm Parlour, so when he opened the library door to find the corridor empty, he cursed his shitty luck.

"Come on…" Zero groaned, reluctantly abandoning the safety of the library for the labyrinthine corridors. With his throat starting up, flashes of cold and hot spells casting shivers all over his body, he knew the bloodthirst was encroaching at a dangerous pace, so he hurried on, picking turns left or right on a whim and hoping he'd come across somebody soon.

Instead, he came across a noise.

In fact, it was a stifled moan.

Immediately Zero whipped out Bloody Rose, pressing back against the wall, hiding in the shadows. He edged down the corridor towards the noise. There was a _thump_ from the opposite wall a few yards down. He eyed the door, estimating the distance and wondering whether he should kick it down or just open it. But before he could reach the door, he heard a _name –_

"…_T-Taku_-"

- and he wished he could erase it from his memory, because that was definitely _not _a moan of pain like he'd first thought. Holy crap_. _Zero stuffed his pinkies in his ears, but if the wall couldn't block the noises, his fingers weren't going to do much good. _Great_, now he wouldn't be able to look either Takuma or Shiki in the eye. Zero felt his face flush hotly again, and he snuck away, slipping 'Rose back in the waistband of his trousers.

It was the good karma that directed him to the Infirmary. Thank goodness for karma.

* * *

><p>"Who is '<em>she'<em>?"

He was munching on cake now, after a bag of blood (Only half a bag in fact. He could tell that the thirst was not sated, it clawed at his throat for more), and Isaya was accompanying him back to his room. The Infirmary had been pretty empty – only Airi and Yagari in their beds – Benomi moved to another room for better comfort. Isaya was still conveniently there though, almost as though he'd been waiting for him… with cake.

Zero didn't ask why anymore. With these eccentric Pureblood, who knew what to expect? He just took the cake and ate it.

He'd been waiting for Isaya to say something, but he still out of it, _still _brooding about what Kaname had told them before.

Isaya looked at him now with something akin to surprise.

"You don't know?"

He scoffed, "Clearly not,"

"'_She'_ is Shirabuki Sara. Shirabuki Sara is visiting us," Isaya proclaimed, with a hint of disdain.

Zero blinked. "…Wow, absolutely no attempt even to sugar-coat _that_," he made a face, "So, what's she doing here?"

Isaya shrugged, seemingly still half-occupied by his other thoughts, "She arrived moments ago, which is the reason why the halls are so empty. She demands a full-house greeting,"

"Which is why Kaname went…" he was answered with a nod, "…but why haven't _you_ gone too?"

"I'm not part of the household. Neither are the Hanadagi's, but they obviously have to be kept under watchful eye, so they went with Yuuki and the others. Your Hunter friend is currently wandering around the place too, keeping to the shadows,"

"Kaname didn't want me seen by her either. Does he want us Hunters kept secret?" Zero frowned, "That doesn't make sense. She can still sense us,"

"Of course she will, but she's a _guest, _so for some custom she is bound. She has no say in who can or cannot be in Kaname's house – and from which side of the war Kaname supports, she'll know that we party with Hunters. For _you_, it's just a precaution to keep you out of her way,"

"And – why you?"

Isaya waved his question off nonchalantly, "I'm of no real import to her. I'm just a friend of Kaname's. A _poor, decrepit, mentally broken-down_ friend, solely here for the company of others," he peered down at Zero pointedly , "And seeing such a _weak, sorry _example of a Pureblood would much displease her, so Kaname requested I stay 'out of sight' too. Catch my drift?"

Zero's eyes widened in understanding, "He _wants_ us out of sight,"

"So we can _spy_, 'samu-kun. He wants us to keep an eye on _her_. What she knows, we have to find out. She'll be trying the same game, but we can't let her get the upper hand on us. Especially whilst she's undecided in this war, she's a danger to us all,"

Abruptly, Isaya fell into silence, and it wasn't the usual easy silence either. Zero could practically hear the countless worries and thoughts whirring in his head. He was also partially obsessing over his own task and troubles, but he could still find he could concentrate on the world around him. For Isaya though, it was like he'd withdrawn into himself, for some reason no one could comprehend.

Zero cleared his throat and initiated conversation for once – deciding to get Isaya's opinion on the Garden and Juri's riddle. It just so happened to catch his interest.

"It sounds like the spell is pretty specific," he glanced at Zero out of the corner of his eye, "You're going to have to find out _exactly _how you can twist your own experiences to match Juri's. You have to be specific to the _emotions_, forget the individual details. For example – Juri's loved ones were _hurt_, because she distanced herself from them due to an obsession. Have you ever done something similar to that? Has an obsession ever hurt someone you loved?"

Broken down into those two simple questions, the concept of the riddle suddenly made sense, but in a way that Zero did not like.

Because it fit. He _did _find he could relate to that.

For him, it was Yuuki – his first love.

All those wasted years of loving her, he'd been held back – he'd distanced himself from her because of this obsession over why he wasn't good enough for her. From day one: his Vampiric curse made him too dangerous, his family history baggage made him too broken, his personality was too brusque, he _just wasn't __**good enough**_. And all this angst, and all this pain, he had obsessed on over the years. During which time Yuuki had moved on to better things – chosen the night world over him.

It made sense. The night world had glamour in it, a life of royalty and romance waiting for her – and it had Kaname in it. Yuuki's heart had always belonged to Kaname since the start, so his efforts had all been in vain. So Kaname was _another_ thing he'd always obsessed over – as a rival, he'd tried every which way to prove himself better than Kaname to her. But Kaname won. He was better than him. He'd always been better.

The disappointment was still there, because in the end – he had lost to Kaname, and he had _lost _Yuuki. But now… he was okay. He'd done all the angsting over a love lost, and grown up and moved on to see that he could survive through it, and it wasn't all that bad on the other side. Yuuki was happy. So was Kaname. And he was discovering a new friend in Kaname – it kind of soothed the sting of it all.

So all of _that _wasn't there anymore – but maybe he had to _pretend _it was. Maybe he had to draw up those old, adolescent feelings of angst and deal with them properly – give them a proper burial. To be honest, the way he'd dealt with it all had been pretty much the same as Juri's – he'd blanketed the feelings, hidden them away deep inside himself – but they were still _there_, locked away behind a heavily locked door. He had to rip them out and throw them all away before they poisoned him like they did Juri_. _

As they reached their destination, Zero was so lost in thought that upon realising where he'd been taken, he balked at Isaya, finding the Pureblood doing the same head-tilting, wide-eyed innocent-act Kaname had done.

"The _fuck_, Isaya? What are you playing at?" he spat, refusing to take one step into _Kaname's_ room, "I said _my_ room. _**My **_room. This isn't funny, I've told you before-"

"But I brought you to your room,"

"- that this isn't – this isn't appropriate, Isaya. _Come on_," he gesticulated wildly between himself and the door, "Stop being daft. I have my _own _room, so please take me there,"

Isaya blinked owlishly, "I don't know where that is,"

Zero groaned, "Yeah right,you don't. Asshole. Geez, you know what? Kaname will be looking for me later, and he won't find me in my room then, and then he'll be pissed at-"

"He'll know, I assure you," Isaya opened the door, with a quizzical little smile, "Shall we bet on it?" Zero reluctantly followed him in. During the time he'd spent at Kuran Castle, he had spent more time in Kaname's room than his own. This hit him so pointedly that he slapped on a spiteful grimace in response. Isaya smugly claimed the plush armchair and beckoned Zero to also sit, but the moment Zero's backside hit the sofa seat, Isaya stood. Zero felt tricked.

"Where are you going?"

Isaya smiled, "To spend time with my Sons,"

Zero's thoughts flew back to the _noise _and he winced visibly, "I _wouldn't_ … um, I'd go see Benomi-kun, if I were you. Leave Takuma for now. He's… busy–"

"With that red-haired boy – I know. I saw them sneak away earlier," Isaya had a slightly creepy twinkle in his eye, "Oh no, I wouldn't disturb them for all the world. Young love is a -"

"Yeah, okay, okay," he interrupted and scrunched up his nose, "Just – can you drop me off at the Rose garden on your way?" he got to his feet, joining Isaya at the door.

"Shouldn't you stay here?"

When Zero chose not to respond Isaya clucked his tongue, taking him by the elbow, "We'll have to go through the back way. Sara will most likely be coming through the main entrance-" Zero merely nodded along, "- and we must _not_ be seen. Do you understand, Isamu? Not even a glimpse. We are to be one with the shadows,"

Just as Zero opened his mouth to correct him, Isaya came to an unexpected halt, nearly tipping them down the stairs. He had to grasp onto the banister to not tumble to his death. A shocked yelp became little more than a whimper from Isaya clapping a hand to his mouth. Like Kaname before, Isaya was frozen and tense, and trying to see what he was seeing was like trying to spot an ant in a field. Zero wriggled in his hold, but otherwise strained his ears to hear anything.

There was nothing for a few seconds, during which Isaya forced him to crouch under the banister, and then they heard several footsteps approaching. Zero wanted to mention that they were still visible through the balustrade, but Isaya shook him into silence, so they waited for the footsteps to come into view.

The door to the right swung open and a dozen or so girls and boys skipped through, almost dancing on their light feet. Zero would have snorted at the theatrical performance and how it made the air around them almost sparkle. Each of the children wore identical costumes of shimmering black silk trailing on the floor, and their beatific Vampiric faces were made up so that they were insanely beautiful, but at the same time gave off that sticky impression of child pageant stars, each one almost aggressively trying to outdo the other in vigorous dance and looks. Behind them came the main show: Kaname with Sara on his arm.

Sara's beauty was magnificent and would easily make any man fall, weak to his knees with desire. She was the first Pureblood Zero had seen whose beauty could rival Yuuki's, or Lady's, or Juri's, and her entrance was perfection. Chin held high so her golden tresses shone in the light like a halo, and softened her otherwise supercilious expression. Something twisted in his gut though when he saw her – a _feeling _that there was something _off _about her. She smiled at Kaname sweetly – clapping her hands so her dancers fell prostrate on the ground around them. He exchanged a look with Isaya.

Over the course of his adventure, his instincts to be wary of Purebloods had been worn away virtually completely revised, thanks to Isaya and Kaname, but Sara's unnerving perfection restored that instinct. She was just _too _perfect. It was obvious she was hiding something.

But Zero couldn't help but admire how she looked with Kaname though. You would think their combined beauty would be too much – but that wasn't true. They were opposite, but complimentary, quite literally – Sara in her white attire and Kaname in black – the quintessence of Yin and Yang. And as Kaname ducked his head close to hers and she raised hers, they made the typical fairytale scene where lovers bowed their heads together like swas.

Suddenly Kaname looked up sharply, right at the exact spot where they were, with unerring accuracy.

Instantly a breath in his ear whispered, "Don't resist it," and then the image of a young woman filled his vision. She was staring at him with an almost-smile, and her deep red eyes flickered with some emotion that resonated in him too. He knew who she was.

It was Isamu's wife, Akane.

Having never seen her before, how was it that he recognised her?

_This must be Isaya's doing,_ Zero realised, _his memories_. But why? He could tell this memory was being forced into his head, and it was being streamed all over his thoughts so he could literally not think or see or _feel_ anything but her. He tried to shut her _out, _but was met with resistance, and the instruction _Don't resist it _blared in his mind, so he grudgingly submitted to Isaya's wishes. Memory-Akane took his hand in hers, and the phantom sensation of something warm bloomed in his chest.

The frayed edges of his vision that _weren't_ taken over by this illusion allowed him to peek at flashes of the current world around him – but like he was underwater, staring up at the surface. Noises were muffled and images distorted, but he could see the bottom of Isaya's coat swish in front of him probably meaning he must moved to shield Zero from view. There were distant echoes of people talking, and he picked out Kaname's smooth voice. There was pressure on his chest – Isaya's foot pressing him to lie back on the steps, fully out of view.

Eventually, the illusion disintegrated, or rather, it retreated – feeling horribly like an injection needle slowly pulling out of his mind. The lingering image of Akane's face faded away and control over his mind returned to him in pulses. The instant he could, he scrambled upright and punched Isaya in the jaw.

"It was necessary – they almost saw you!" Isaya argued, "You mustremain _hidden_! Even your thoughts can give you away to her. If she can't see you, she won't prod at your mind, get it?"

Of course – he understood it now – what Isaya had been doing. By pretty much blanketing Zero's mind with parts of his own, he had effectively camouflaged Zero from being detected – both in the physical and mental worlds… who'd have thought? Isaya still thought of his wife to this day, his memories of her preserved in his mind with such clarity. Zero found it overwhelming that he'd been shared Isaya's precious memories, though the Pureblood didn't look very bothered by it.

"But… Sara already knows I'm here-"

"It's your _thoughts _that we need to shield from her, Isamu. What you _know, w_e can't afford to let her know it too, unless we know for sure that she's on _our_ side,"

Without any further explanation, Isaya dragged him down the stairs and took him through the Jungle garden, dropping him off near the Rose garden with barely a farewell. He sank into the grass with a sense of dread, knowing he was far more vulnerable than he first thought – because his mind was accessible – even in his mind, he wasn't secure. _Thoughts _are uncontrollable. How can he keep _thoughts _from Sara, who could probably lock-pick his deepest secrets free? What if he gave secrets away without even realising it? Did distance reduce his mind's readability? Maybe that was why Kaname wanted him out of the way – out of sight and mind. Brilliant.

* * *

><p>"So, how was she?"<p>

The words tumbled out of his lips the instant the door opened, and there was no way he could save face and _not _look like he's been pathetically waiting for Kaname to come back_._ Zero was outright sulking. After god knows how many _failed _attempts at breaching the Garden, he'd come back to the Castle exhausted and scratched by thorns six ways from Sunday. The smell of his blood had drawn servants to him and they'd patched him up good, but now he was wrapped like a mummy and itching at his bandages whilst Kaname stood in the doorway, stunned apparently by his unexpected presence. When he finally moved, he took his time ambling over to Zero_, _shooting him one last curious look before taking the armchair.

"How are _you_?" Kaname asked, turning the question back on him, and pinning him with an uncompromising stare. Those eyes roved over him, cataloguing every bandage in sight with growing concern. His eyebrows dipped into a frown. "You look like you hugged a cactus,"

"I'm _fine_, except for the fact that I'm pretty sure your mom doesn't want me anywhere near her Garden, _Kaname_. Her bloody thorns fucking scratching me to _death_ imply that rather well," his tone was clipped and sour. But before he could continue, he caught sight of Kaname just staring off into space and looking… _exhausted_. Like him.

That wasn't normal.

It was something he had never realised before, but he had _never_ seen Kaname as tired as this, so this was really _strange_. His body was melting like butter into the sofa cushions, his pencil-straight back curved against the sofa and his eyelids were half-drooping. Sleep was calling for him, and yet he was making every effort not to surrender to it. And though it was quite mesmerising really, watching this supposed flawless being literally succumb to a boneless mass, it was also to some extent _terrifying_. Since when did Kaname get tired like this? Was this a product of war or Sara?

"Kaname?" he asked more softly, leaning forwards to see that he was _really _struggling to even keep his eyes open. It was like all the energy had been sapped from him, and he was clinging to wakefulness by the skin of his teeth. He grunted unintelligibly, drawing some sympathy from Zero, for he had never seen Kaname quite like this before and he looked as close to a mess as he'd ever seen.

Kaname squinted at him – a glimmer of red through thick meshed lashes. There was a pathetic croak, which Zero swore couldn't, or _shouldn't _be Kaname's voice, but his lips moved to match the words, proving him wrong. "Yes?" his eyes flickered around the room, searching, "I was looking for you…"

"Isaya left me here," Zero shrugged, "I get pretty lost in this Castle of yours, so I chose to stay here. If you don't mind,"

Kaname made a noise, which Zero took to be "_I don't mind_," so he muttered '_Thank you_,' and remained seated (not that he was going to move anyway), watching Kaname loll between sleeping and staying awake, like a stubborn child denying bedtime. Really, how could he be so tired? Was that even possible for Purebloods? He was drawn to Kaname's side when he made a rough noise and flailed one arm.

"You look like shit. What happened?" Zero hesitated only fractionally before he decided – _to hell with it – _and hooked his arms under Kaname's. They both worked to get Kaname on his feet, leaning heavily on Zero, who then transported them towards the bed. Kaname was lowered onto it and Zero after a moment took the other side. "What the hell is wrong with you? You're never like… _this_,"

Kaname rolled over to face him. His mouth stretched into a wide yawn. "I was entertaining Shirabuki Sara," he smiled wryly, "_That_ was what happened,"

"What is she, a zombie? It looks like she sucked the life out of you. You look like you're… you almost look-"

"Tired?" Kaname flopped onto his back, "I _feel_ tired,"

"You're _never_ tired,"

"Not until now," he turned his neck to look at him again, remarkably awake for brief seconds, "Not until recently. I am changing, Zero, slowly but surely, I have started needing to do things, like eating and sleeping, far more regularly. It is quite a nuisance really, especially at a time like this,"

It suddenly made _sense_, what he was saying. Zero's eyes widened, "You're changing, because -"

"- b_ecause_ our Bond means my life is changing to match yours. I am becoming mortal, Zero," Kaname frowned, "I thought you knew this,"

He _did _know this. Deep down inside he'd know this, but facing the facts was different from knowing them. The fact that the Bond was essentially forcing Kaname to equal his lifespan had never carried meaning to him till now, when he saw the evidence first-hand. He was turning an immortal _mortal_. All those years, for Kaname, were gone. All the perks of immortality – regeneration, limitless energy and power – were they all going to disappear as well? Had he reduced Kaname to something far less than he was?

It was all beyond Zero's control – beyond what he knew – and yet it mercilessly stabbed at his conscience. Kaname's immortality being stripped from him was a devastating loss in every sense and really _disturbing_. Even if Zero came to live a tortoise's life right up to two-hundred or something ridiculous like Kaien, it would still be considered short for an immortal. Hell, he'd replaced Kaname's double chocolate fudge cake with a graham cracker. And not a good graham cracker; one of those ones that made you gag from dryness when you put it in your mouth with a flavour comparable to cardboard.

"It's not so bad, at least until Sara came by," Kaname murmured, his sardonic smile playing on his lips lightly. Yet for some reason – maybe the roughness of his worn-out voice – Zero ached. Kaname did not _deserve_ this. He watched Kaname's heavy-lidded eyes blink lethargically a few times, thick dark lashes fanning open every time they pressed against his cheekbones, "And you," he more or less whispered, almost asleep by now, "You aren't so good yourself,"

Zero snorted, sliding down a little, "Forget me. Go to sleep, Kaname,"

As per usual, Kaname turned onto his side again, a stern look on his face, and his methodical gaze swept all over Zero again, coming to a conclusion at his lips. "You're thirsty,"

"I'm not. I drank," Zero insisted, not liking that Kaname was already reaching up to tug his collar loose of its buttons, "Kaname, _no_," he snapped, "You're already wiped. This could put you in a fucking coma,"

"Not likely," the last button resting on his sternum was undone, and Kaname folded back the collar, "Come," he pulled back his hair too. Zero already knew his eyes were flashing red, and his fangs were throbbing and swelling out of his gums, "I'll be fine. For you, this will be like drinking a triple-dose of sedatives. I sincerely think you _need _it, so take it,"

By now Zero knew resistance was futile. He shimmied himself into a better position, finding his face coming uncomfortably close to Kaname's several times, and his drowsy liquid eyes following his every movement didn't help much either. His fangs found the biting point like moths to a flame and within seconds that blood – _god, _that glorious _blood_ – was flowing down his throat, and a surprised moan of delight was ripped from him. Kaname huffed against his shoulder as he drank, but it wasn't a distressful noise. Zero was careful with how much he drank, in spite of what Kaname had said, and though he adored how magnificent the taste was, sweet from its source, he hated to think he was taking the blood Kaname needed right now. Eventually he reached the point of satiation and withdrew himself, blinking at the sight of Kaname, now fully fast asleep on his shoulder.

The intimacy of the situation wasn't lost on him, but with no one there to witness it – to judge them… it was okay. Zero didn't find the same wild panic like he'd felt under Kaito's glare, and even his own conscience wasn't screaming at the sight of Kaname resting on his shoulder. It was kind of _nice. _And like what he'd been warned, there was a warm tingling in his blood and a buzzing sensation at the back of his eyes, weighing them down… something brushed his ear, which happened to be Kaname's hair… it was like being knocked out by ketamine and in a few seconds flat, he was flat out cold.

No one was there to see it when Zero's head rolled to the side, knocking gently skull-to-skull with Kaname's and then settling atop his. Kaname's arm came to wrap around Zero's torso, securing him to his side, and the rise and fall of their chests synchronised with their breathing.


	93. Love Itself Shall Slumber On

_**MUSIC, when soft voices die,**_

_**Vibrates in the memory;**_

_**Odours, when sweet violets sicken,**_

_**Live within the sense they quicken.**_

_**Rose leaves, when the rose is dead,**_

_**Are heap'd for the belovèd's bed;**_

_**And so thy thoughts, when thou art gone,**_

_**Love itself shall slumber on.**_

**~ Percy Bysshe Shelley**

* * *

><p>Zero woke abruptly. There was nothing <em>wrong <em>specifically_, _but something different. The room was dusky and hushed and quiet in indigo-blue shadows_. _He _should _still be sleeping – he very much wanted to be. But the moment he closed his eyes again, a hot hand trailed down his bare back. Ah, so _that's_ what it was.

His back arched, a purr his throat when the hand was forced to roll down his spine from the undulation_._ He was on the verge between awake and asleep – where everything was hazy and soft and golden, and bad thoughts dissipated. Never in his life had he experienced such serenity. He shooed away his doubts because pleasure like this was as fragile as a butterfly on a leaf and it could be blown away so, so easily. As always, ignorance was bliss.

But keeping his mind from waking was like trying to keep a rubber duck submerged in water, it kept bobbing back up, pecking at him with questions. _Why poke the bear?_ he asked himself. _Why poke the fucking bear?_

Nevertheless.

(i.e. he _had _to poke the bear.)

_Oh my god, _he thought immediately upon finding something heavy pinning him to the mattress. His _Hunter _training instantly noted its weight was neither that of a pillow or quilt, and it had heat and solidity – it _twitched_ and slid over the back of his knees like a snake, calculating and slow. This "thing" was a "someone". There was someone else in his bed. Zero snatched up 'Rose from under his pillow.

Blinking a few times to clear his eyes, Zero inhaled a buttery, smoky fragrance that had him licking his lips. Even now as panic was mounting up inside him, it was like he was drugged or something – delayed panic, delayed horror. Zero struggled to connect to the world. It was only after a few minutes that his eyes snap open. _Where the __**fuck**__ were his pants? _Not only that, where was his shirt? Luckily he had underwear, but that wasn't very reassuring, given he was –

He was without pants in bed with someone –

And a low, rumbling groan told him that person was possibly waking up. And he _recognised_ that voice, but never as close to him as it was now. Never as close so he could feel his warm, moist breath on his shoulder.

Outrage should have been his first reaction, but for some reason, knowing it was Kaname in some crazy roundabout way calmed his pounding heart. _At least I'm not in bed with a stranger_, he tried to tell himself, _or a serial killer, or a pervert_. At least he was in bed with someone he knew was too prudish to do anything. The lack of clothing was rather disconcerting, but it was _Kaname. _Somehow the idea of someone as reticent and aloof as Kaname taking advantage of him was totally laughable_. _With this in mind, he found it easier to relax his hand around 'Rose (but still kept her at hand).

Kaname, completely oblivious to the situation, dragged his hand down the dip of his spine to his hips. He had no idea what danger he was in, what with the dark shadow of 'Rose's barrel aimed to his jaw. His eyelashes caught on the pillow as he peered at Kaname's sleeping face beside him, jerking when his dull nails scraped skin. Kaname curled it into a fist and pushed him into the mattress, which alerted him that there was something much, much worse to think about.

For example, the _mortifying_ dampness in the front of his boxers.

Okay. This was… this was complete and utter _horse-crap_.

Zero's mind overloaded with the horrifying implications. This was karma's payback for the nice awakening then. Flashes of his dream that _created _the mess were piecing together and it was _horrible__**, **_because he couldn't stop them coming. Unlike other dreams that faded as time passed, this one was doing the opposite. It became clearer and sharper and it grew in his mind. He was overwhelmed by the vibrancy of his imagination, lost in a dream that made reality appear dull in comparison _–_

… _the grass itched his back. Sweat and water dripped off the rock above him in a steady, numbing beat. He was naked, and yet there was no shame in it. Instead of hiding himself, he delighted in the attention of those eyes feasting on him, devouring flaw after flaw with a hunger that he showed that _he_ was what they wanted._

_Zero thrashed as his thighs were pulled wide apart, choking on a yowl as they were wrapped tightly around his assailant's hips like a belt. Hands skimmed over his skin and a sweltering body dropped on him. The nebulous heat crashed against him – above him, around him – and devilish red eyes had Zero's breath stuttering. _

"_Please…" he rasped, head rolling back. A droplet of icy water splashed right between his eyes, stinging when it mixed with his tears. "Please," he panted, the word sounding needy to his own ears. Like he'd been pleading for a while. He didn't even know if he was begging for mercy or for more. _

_It was too much. He couldn't possibly take more, and yet he kept asking for it, and he knew he needed it. He was losing control of himself – falling apart – and it was frightening but he was _enjoying it_. The freedom, the fire. _

_Threads of white light danced around them like underwater ripples, and it lit the man's auburn hair and ghostly skin. He saw he had a well-sculpted jaw and he didn't blink much. For a moment Zero was frozen in horror, thinking it was Rido above him. For a second he was convinced that – with that wild red hair and a wicked smile – it had to be Rido. _

_But then he smelt _sweetroses_, the musk of old paper and the texture of this man's skin was… his touch was familiar. He did not have claws._

_These were _hands that knew _him, and he knew them too_. _He knew them in the dark_. _He grappled for a hand to hold and found one, and that's when he knew it _had_ to be Kaname, kneeling between his legs, stroking them tenderly and burying his face into the crook of his neck. It could be no one else._

_The only warning he got was hair tickling his face, fingers tightening on his hips and the body above him dropping on him, suddenly becoming more cage-like than an embrace. That was when he realised something was very wrong. The passion, the lust – wasn't here anymore. Why did it hurt? Why couldn't he move? When he finally realised what was happening – what Kaname was doing to him, he was thrown by the sharp feeling of betrayal –_

_And, how little the pain actually hurt –_

His eyes flew open.

A scream hung on his lips. Did he scream already or was he going to? His eyes were wet, and yet the heat was still there, locked in his body – he was shaking from barely holding it together. How he managed to climax from the end of that dream was a mystery to him. There had been so much pain, the reminder of his childhood revived by Kaname finishing him with a bite – it should've stopped the happy ending, but somehow there it was – a happy, sticky ending in his boxers.

Just remembering the dream was making him very, very uncomfortable. And how could he get out of this situation too? Kaname's leg was coiled tight around Zero like an octopus and his arm flung completely over his back (it must've moved during his flashback).

"Ugh," he made a face, cheeks flaming hot, and carefully extracted himself and perched on the edge with a mellowed expression. He was still shaking and he couldn't remember the last time a dream has affected him so much, not even a nightmare. Why and how he'd found pleasure in Kaname was incomprehensible, but it was just a _dream. _So he just had to keep telling himself that and _forget it._

Zero wiggled his toes as a distraction, scowling down at them and absently pondering when he'd lost his shoes. He went to grab some tissues to clean himself up, and on second thought, take a pair of Kaname's boxers too, but then an unexpected gust of cold wind tickling his ankles stopped him in his tracks.

He almost wouldn't have noticed it, the chill only reaching his feet, but it was so distinctly ill-fitting with the warmth of the room that somehow it didn't feel _right_. He found its source at the same wall he'd woken to before, the one with the Academy rose emblem carved into it. This time his attentions were drawn to the floor, and crouching down he saw that the currents of air came not from a vent but actually _under _the wall.

As in, the wall didn't even meet the ground – there was a narrow crack along the panel separating it from the floor, the width of the side of a coin. Zero peered at the tiny crack. Only this panel had the gap, the walls on either side of it met the ground properly. Could it be… this was _another _door to a secret passageway? He stood up again, trailing his fingers up till he located the rose emblem again. It was blatantly obvious now, due to the fact that it was specifically made to merge with the wood... and after fumbling with it a bit, the whole panel pushed forwards.

He glanced back at Kaname. What other secrets could he be hiding? He wasn't just a little bit mysterious. His whole _life _was a tapestry of secrets, and Zero had to slowly unravel it, stitch by stitch, to understand it. Zero pondered what the right choice would be, the moral choice. It was wrong to pry, he knew that, but Kaname was such a contradiction in _himself_. He liked to pretend they were all on the same page, that everyone knew what he knew, but then _he _held back his own cards. He knew _everything_ about everyone, but what did they really know about _him_? Inequality like that irked Zero, and suddenly it felt like he hadto know – what secrets was Kaname hiding and what for?

He hesitated for a bit longer, as though offering him the chance to wake up and stop him. (_Stop me_, Zero urged silently, _stop me before I find something you don't want me to._) But Kaname slept on, and Zero's curiosity got the better of him. Zero hurried inside before his conscience could catch up with him. To his surprise, he stepped into a hexagonal room lined with white stone cabinets. The ceiling was high, high up, far past where the eye could see, so it seemed not to exist at all – he had to be in one of the Castle's turrets. Tall candles provided lighting, which cast eerie shadows trembling on the walls.

Zero perused the cabinets briskly because time wasn't on his side. He found collections of strange things, bizarre in the sense that they were so mundane – for example – a child's ratty shoe. Beside it, a chair with the varnish rubbed off and a huge jagged scar across its hind legs from where they'd snapped off and been re-attached. There were books so old that the pages were yellow, the text worn away and the spines barely bound the pages together. What _were_ these things, you might ask? If this stuff had any value, it would only be from their age, which as far as Zero could tell was _ancient, _and even then they weren't jewels or gems worth keeping_._ They were rotting, mouldy crap. Who'd want them? Kaname was pure _crazy, _andZero was at a complete loss… until he came across _it._

That _one _piecethat suddenly made sense of it all. He literally felt it slot into place, like pieces of puzzle locking together to make a picture.

"Oh god…" he felt short of breath, "…oh _god…"_

It was the tin he'd seen Isamu give to Kaname to get blood from the villagers. It was shut, but Zero imagined the syringe and little bottle would still be in there. He wondered if the bottle still had dregs of ancient Human blood in it, if the syringe still held remnants of Lady's blood that had been injected into Isamu's veins.

These were Isamu's things. Zero could see it now from flashes of the Memories he'd seen – Isamu's baby shoe, his desk chair, the books Kaname read to him. _This_ was Kaname's secret. His little… shrine, to Isamu. Kaname had found _all these things_, restored them one by one, and put them behind protective glass. Pieces of Isamu, pieces of his past… Zero couldn't believe it.

But then again, he _could. _

One thing Zero was starting to grasp was that the Kurans hoarded their possessions. They never let things go – even if it hurt to keep them. Zero backed away from the cabinet, speechless and filled with an ache he wanted to escape. It was almost physically repugnant to look at these things and see Kaname's pain written everywhere. When he stepped back too far he bumped into something else – the sharp edge of a small table. It hadn't been seen before because unlike the other things that were candlelit, it was in the dark shadows at the centre of the room, and a book was left carelessly atop it. It looked plain, but by now Zero knew to expect that first appearances were deceiving. The book was already out in the open, so he decided there was no harm in looking.

And there really wasn't any harm, because even if the book _did_ contained incriminating facts, he understood none of it. Page after page of little pressed flowers were stuck on each page, dates scrawled next to them and small accounts of peoples' days. From what he understood, they were written every ten years and described the same ceremony where the rose was cut and collected by a member of the family, _Ichijou_. Oh, the flowers were _roses. _Delicate, miniature roses dried to a dark, crisp red. Was this a weird Vampire custom – flower-pressing? Really? Bizarre and pointless. Kaname didn't seem the type, either.

Surrounded by all of this, Zero was overwhelmed by the significance of what was here. Pieces of a life Kaname had lost and craved, pieces of Isamu's life, each connected to a magnitude of feelings he only felt echoes of. Kaname had _never_ gotten over Isamu, not even a little bit. Time had never healed him. These things were poor substitutes for the love he mourned, but Kaname only them to hold onto, to keep him going. Sometimes Zero forgot that Kaname was really _Kaname_ – the Ancestor – the Original King – wearing the body of his descendent, and he was _thousands_ of years away from his time. These things weren't only Isamu's, but his too. They belonged to a world long lost.

Zero was abashed, chastened by Kaname's devotion, even if it wasn't to him. He'd gone in, eager to reveal Kaname's secret, but all he'd learnt from it was that Kaname was a broken man. All he'd gained from this was shame. Unwittingly he had made the wrong choice, and from it caused great disrespect. _He had no right to be here_.

Zero left the room quickly, barely glancing back at any of the flickering flames. As he tore into Kaname's room, he stumbled into something again, this time a desk, and a clutter of things were knocked to the ground. Zero hurriedly picked them up, shooting glances at Kaname (who was still sound asleep), and carefully put them back. He paused at one object – the duck he'd found with Kaname outside Isamu's grave – cleaned and polished and being used as one end of a book stand –there was _another _duck on the other side. Identical in shape but unpainted, the whorls of exposed wood aflame in contrast to the white duck.

"…s-orry…"

His head snapped up. There was no one but Kaname there, and he was still sleeping. He frowned in confusion. That had _definitely _been his voice, Zero was certain. So then… he must be sleep-talking. Zero cocked his head, staring down in disbelief. Kaname… Zero snorted, "Who'd have thought you freaking _sleep-talk_…"

And then it came again,

"…_no_…" in a pitiful moan, sending chills down Zero's spine. Without realising it, Zero went closer to the bed and touched Kaname's shoulder –

And then he knew what was happening.

Zero understood why he'd woken so abruptly – it was obvious now in the rigidity of Kaname's muscles, the grim tightness of his lips and almost imperceptible way his hand twitched on the sheets. He'd woken thinking Kaname was just getting a little hands-y whilst having a "nice dream", but now that he was properly seeing things, he could see that he'd been _reaching _for him.

Because Kaname was having a nightmare.

_Every _muscle in his body was clenched tight in anxiety, but it was so _undetectable _at first glance. _No one _would see it, because on the outside he looked fast asleep and peaceful. On the inside, he was fighting his demons alone, and Zero of all people knew how dangerous nightmares could get. This was typical Kaname, keeping everything to himself. For some reason he could not explain, Zero was mad at himself. He could have stopped this. Zero remembered for every nightmare he'd had as a child there had always been someone to wake him – whether that was Yagari (with a few words), or Kurosu (with a devastating hug), or Yuuki (with a kiss and a smile). He couldn't imagine anyone doing the same for Kaname. This hit him very hard somehow, doubling the ache, the guilt and shame.

"Kaname?" he shook his shoulder, "Wake up. Come on," But Kaname was stubborn, even in sleep. Zero shook him harder, "Wake up, come on _get up!"_ and after what seemed like forever, Kaname's eyes snapped open. He shoved Zero off, shooting upright. Knowing after a nightmare you usually needed some space, Zero shuffled to the edge. Kaname was rubbing his face, over and over, and muttering things under his breath. Zero watched, transfixed by the way his body animated so quickly and all at once after being so still. Kaname was doing everything – trembling, spasming and shaking, and even though not knowing what to do to make it better was annoying, he was also _relieved_. Seeing him so motionless had reminded him when he'd thought Kaname was a statue. It was good to see he was back with the living.

"Kaname?" he asked again, lowering his voice to be softer. "Hey," he called to get Kaname's attention once more.

"Yeah," the Pureblood huffed, struggling for control over the tremors wracking his body. "I'm fine," Zero nodded doubtfully as he fidgeted, his breathing still laboured. He rubbed his eyes. "What time is it? How long have I –"

Zero peered at the night-stand, where a dusty little old-fashioned _–_

"- that doesn't work,"

– piece of _crap _was wasting space_. _He glowered at the broken smiled apologetically, "It's not worked for ages. It's decorative,"

"Change your friggin' clocks," he rolled his eyes, "I dunno how long w– how long you slept for. I – I only woke a little before you," his eyes skirted to the side, checking furtively that the wall panel was completely shut. Luckily Kaname was too busy to notice him. He rose to his feet after a minute, shedding the sweaty bedsheets that clung to him hastily and taking into account that he was shirtless, _pants-less_ and sockless with merely a cocked brow. Zero sputtered and chucked him a shirt from the floor, which he started buttoning hurriedly, provoking Zero to question his haste.

"I told Sara I'd only be gone for a couple hours," he explained, cursing when he buttoned wrong, "I said I had 'business' to attend to, but since I don't know how long _we've_ been-" his eyes taking in Zero's reddened cheeks, "- sleeping, I must assume that I'm _late, _which is a _bad thing_," He searched madly for his trousers. Zero watched this in a detached sort of a way, silently witnessing how quickly Kaname reconstructed his mask as quickly and efficiently as he was dressing himself. Well… not quite _efficiently_ as he thought_. _Zero could still see through the cracks. Kaname was making so many mistakes, buttoning his shirt wrong again so it bunched in the middle. Zero surprised himself with how tempted he was to smack Kaname's hands away and do the stupid buttons _for_ him. The urge was hampered by his own embarrassment.

"What's she doing in the meantime?" Zero asked abruptly, remembering Sara's entourage in their swirling black silks. On that thought, he wondered where Isaya was too, where _everyone _was, for that matter. The Castle was far too quiet for having so many people within it.

"I have no idea," Kaname finally finished with his shirt, "But if I keep her waiting," he hopped into his trousers (socks _first, _Zero wanted to insist), "She won't be impressed,"

"But if you turn up looking like you slept rough, she won't be impressed either," Zero replied, hardly believing he was lecturing Kaname on _appearances_. But he couldn't help himself – he slapped Kaname's startled hands away, straightened his collar and batted some creases out of the cloth. "You want to _impress _her, don't you?" he refused to do the tie (that would be far too '50s-wife-ish) and left it hanging around Kaname's neck, "So take the time to look half _decent, _would you?"

Kaname let out another sigh, ghosting over Zero's lips. His was barely able to stand. To Zero's surprise, blue-veined circles were visible under Kaname's eyes. "Yes. Well. Sara has very high expectations. If I slip, even a _little…_" he stepped into his shoes… sockless, but Zero wasn't going to mention it, "…appearance is everything. With her, at least,"

"No kidding," Zero stepped back to let Kaname get to his mirror, smirking when he heard him curse and paw at his face, like he'd found the first wrinkles cresting his mid-life crisis_. _Then he frowned, "What exactly are you negotiating for?"

Kaname mumbled, "More soldiers. She has most of the European Vampires under her command, that includes a third of the entire Vampire population,"

Zero whistled, watching Kaname curse again with less amusement. "There's nothing on your face," _Stop being such a girl_, he wanted to throw in, but Kaname looked legitimately panicked.

"It's not _on _my face. It _is _my face," he pointed at himself critically, "Look at me Zero, I look like – I look _tired_, Zero,"

One eyebrow quirked, "That's because _you are_,_" _he rolled his eyes, "And you still look _fine_, dumbass,"

Kaname eyed him as if _he _were the one speaking nonsense. "Purebloods don't _sleep_, Zero," he explained slowly. "We don't _get _tired,"

This made Zero's other brow pop in genuine surprise, "…you don't?"

"Not those as old as I am," Kaname tugged his hair, "She can't seeme like _this_. She'll realise that I'm becoming _mortal_. She _can't _know about that and…" he waved wildly between them, "…us,"

"The _Bond_, you mean," Zero corrected coolly. Kaname nodded, stooping to roll down one pant-leg that was creeping up. His reaction to what Kaname had just said shocked himself a little, as well as the fact that he hadn't even realised that… all this time, Kaname was turning _mortal_ – since when? These days of war, he'd not realised that seeing Kaname showing fatigue wasn't normal. Before then they'd never been close enough for him to see such things.

"Okay," he cleared his throat, unable to look Kaname in the eye, "Go some of the girls' make-up. There's this thing that they put on their faces that covers up things. Don't look at me like that. You know what I mean. It covers up your – under your eyes. They're the worst parts,"

"Yeah, good idea," Kaname nodded again, darting towards the door –

"Kaname, _wait_," Zero followed him, "Are you…" he narrowed his eyes at Kaname's hand. It was still shaking, "…are you sure you can do this? I mean… what if she bails?" he tried to ignore Kaname's suddenly intense gaze, uncomfortably aware now of his pants-less, shirtless state. "If she turns against us, then what do we do?"

Kaname shrugged his shoulders, more vulnerable than Zero had ever seen him, "I'm not sure. I'm not even sure that Sara will join our side, but we must try. Even with me giving her several incentivesfor it, she wants many things from me in return. We'll have to discuss this first_," _the way he spoke had Zero's thoughts first jumping to the typical vices that people would want – money, power, and in a Vampire's case: blood. But the way that Kaname's lips twisted at his words spoke volumes. _She wants many things __**from me**__… _the incentives were _personal_, then. Zero hated what that inferred. Would Kaname lower himself to basically selling himself to get what they needed?

Kaname bit his lip, "While she is here… I don't want you around her," his eyes pinned Zero. Hardly, but slightly accusing. As though he didn't quite believe Zero's solemn nod, but when Zero agreed this time, he meant it. Why would he willingly want to be around Sara?

This however brought to mind something that had been nagging at him since he woke.

He tapped his head, "Even if I do, she can get to me in here, can't she?" his actions drew Kaname's full attention again, "She can't find out what I _know_," Zero clarified, "Which is why you want me to stay away from her – but then what's the point?"

"I want you _hidden_. It's impossible to _'stay away'_ from aPureblood. We can penetrate almost anything with enough practise with our minds, and I've heard that Sara is particularly exceptional at mind-reading, but so long as she can't find you-"

"She can find me!" Zero exclaimed, "Even if I hide, you just said that she can mind-read me _anywhere_ -"

"No Zero, she can't get to you while _I'm _here," Kaname explained and stepped towards him slowly. Without thinking about it, Zero's breathing calmed and he rocked back onto his heels. Kaname's movements were relaxed and his voice soothing, "You're safe. I can protect you. I am protecting you right now. Can you feel it?" Zero exhaled slowly with a small nod. He could – he _could _feel something tickling his senses, like a warm balmy breeze gently buffeting against him. "Good… you see, she can't penetrate my mind, so while you're near me, she can't see into yours either,"

Zero only realised his eyes had fallen shut when Kaname moved that inch closer and his fingers wrapped around the back of his neck. This was something Kaname used to do to Isamu, to calm him down. The heat of his palm relaxed the muscles in his neck, and his head dropped forwards. He opened his eyes to find Kaname with such a tender expression that Zero shifting back uncertainly, as though distance could dull its effect. Zero turned away, thinking back to what Isaya had done to him on the stairs. Thathadn't been the same as Kaname's _protection_. That had been like a flood of something invading his mind –

– _Isamu's wife –_

"Yes, he chose to disguise your mind instead,"

"Excuse me?" he flustered. Kaname was still very close. He could feel his breath on his cheek – "Hey!" Zero's hands flew up to his head, as though to shield his mind with them. He stopped when he realised how pointless that was. "Stop – you just-" _read my mind – _he growled. "Don't do that,"

"Sorry," Kaname's lip quirked, "Can't help it sometimes. But back then, while _I _noticed you on the stair, _Sara_ didn't because she is unfamiliar with Isaya and his skills. Each Pureblood has their own speciality in the arts of mind-play. Where I shield your mind, Isaya prefers to camouflage yours to his – he projects his own mind into yours, and by doing this, makes it seem like there is only _one _mind there – only him. Because you were also physically hidden, Sara assumed it was only Isaya standing there.

"I've asked Isaya to stay with you as much as possible for your protection, but the reason why I'm asking you to stayaway from her in general is because this Castle is not _only_ inhabited by Purebloods, you know. Everyone here – the staff, our friends – they can reveal you to her because they know you are _here_,"

Zero blinked, "I don't understand. _She_ still knows I'm here_,_" he blanched, "That's still the problem. And, wait, the Hanadagi's. They know I'm here too. You just said-"

"They're harmless. Rido's meddled with their heads too much so they can barely function on any sort of telepathic level independently whilst they are under his control. _Yes_, she is aware of you being here, but what she doesn't know is how _important _you are," Kaname stressed, "Everyone else does – they've seen you with me. They know that you're special, and remember what I told you – the mind isn't ordered. It's spontaneous, so when someone passes you by, without meaning to they will attach meaning to _you – _identifying you to be important to me. She will pick up on that,"

Only now, he was beginning to understand what Kaname was saying. Not only did he have to stay out of sight from Sara, he had to stay unseen by everyone else too, because _Sara _could see through them – to him. It was like the moment Sara stepped through the door, the whole Castle was made into her unsuspecting spies – her eyes for Kaname's weaknesses.

Zero contemplated the mess he was in. Isolation for… "For how long?" He by no means depended on social interaction, but being away from _everyone_ (but Isaya) for an indefinite time was a completely different situation.

"For as long as she is here," Kaname grasped his neck, "Zero, you must promise you'll do as I say,"

Zero scrunched up his face, just to show how much it pained him to accept it, "Sure,"

Kaname smiled grimly, "I'm serious, Zero," he hesitated, "And don't go _looking_ for trouble-"

"The _fuck_?" Zero snarled, eyes flashing, "When do I ever – shut _up_. I don't go lookingfor trouble," _trouble finds me, _he wanted to say, but it sounded too cliché to him.

Kaname nodded rather unconvincingly, "Now, go find Isaya and get to work on the-"

"Weapon, yeah, yeah, I know," he rolled his eyes, waving him off.

"And meet me back here later?"

"Sure, Kana-"

But when he turned back to where Kaname had been standing, he was gone. Zero sighed before also leaving the room for the Gardens, carefully checking each corner to make sure no one saw him. It was slow and tedious, but he carried Kaname's promise with him, and may it be known that Zero never broke a promise.

* * *

><p>But it was sticking to the shadows that made Zero literally bump into Kaito, the collision making them groan and clutch at their bruised parts. Zero's head throbbed where it had glanced off Kaito's shoulder, but it was dark – and because he didn't know it was Kaito there – he ignored the pain in favour of drawing his gun. An answering gun barrel dug into his gut, but he instantly recognised this manoeuvre like one remembers a signature handshake and instantly lowered 'Rose with a breathy curse.<p>

Or he tried to.

His eyes widened, fixed on his own wrists. So were Kaito's.

Vines were protruding from the lines of his veins, twining around 'Rose and reaching out defensively like barbed wire. The familiar tingle of his powers returned caused him to suck in a sharp breath as he battled a waft of nostalgia that stung his eyes, never having expected to miss his vines. They were an affliction from something he hadn't wanted, but now as a part of him, the vines were a part of who he had become. He'd not realised their absence – then again, he hadn't had occasion to use them lately. After all his blood-issues, he'd thought that his powers – whether Hunter or Vampire – would be screwed. Clearly they weren't.

Zero coiled the vines around his wrists, watching them stretch and grow, flowing over his skin like rivulets of water. The needle-sharp thorns only tickled his palms, but they would scratch Kaito to ribbons if they so much as brushed him, slipping into his flesh like butter and continuing to grow into the bone. This sick comprehension snapped Zero out of his trance, and he quickly drew them away, lowering 'Rose and levelling a startled Kaito with his most venomous glower.

"You _ass_,"

Kaito's gun was lowered at the same time, and his jittery chuckle broke the ice. Zero scowled, "What the fuck are you doing here?" he jabbed 'Rose at him half-heartedly, "I could've shot you,"

"Wouldn't have done anything," Kaito muttered, still staring at Zero's wrists like they were on fire or something. He finally looked up warily, "I thought you couldn't do that anymore,"

"Neither did I," Zero remarked, twisting his wrist and watching his skin shift where the vines were concealed, somewhere inside. He didn't know where they came from, how they didn't even break his skin as they came out, or how he controlled them. But what he'd missed about them the _power_ they gave him_. _Zero was forgetting what it felt like to be _strong_.

Kaito nodded jerkily, "Yeah," Then he narrowed his eyes at Zero, stepping back and tilting his head thoughtfully, grinning abruptly, "Hey man, you're looking better,"

"Am I?" Zero glanced down at himself. Nothing was different, as far as he knew, but then again – he hadn't checked the mirror. Kaito grunted affirmatively, patting his shoulder – the one that was still throbbing.

"Yeah, you look… I 'unno, better, I guess. Less … less like you tumbled down the stairs," Kaito shrugged, poking at one bruise directly in his jaw. Unimpressed, Zero folded his arms and gave Kaito a look. But then he noticed Kaito was fully equipped with his weapons, a travel-pack slung over one shoulder and… and wearing Yagari's ragged coat.

Zero narrowed his eyes, "Are you going somewhere?"

Kaito's amused grin tightened and he readjusted his pack on his shoulders – his voice was strained, "Um, yeah. Out,"

"Out," Zero parroted, stepping closer – Kaito stepped back, "But _where?"_

"Just _out_, Zero-chan," Kaito snapped. "There are too many Purebloods under this roof for me to stay here and _not_ accidentally shoot one in the foot. Don't wanna piss 'em off, but my skin is _crawling _all the time just being here. I don't know how you stand it, but I can't, and I'm getting out of here before Baby starts getting jumpy," he petted his gun adoringly (Zero wondered if he looked like that with 'Rose, and _shuddered_.)

Zero understood Kaito's reaction, but that didn't explain his own. Why didn't _he_ feel the same urge to get away? Zero didn't find his skin crawling. Like everyone, he was on edge with the way things were in the Castle, but as for the burning "itchiness" he should feel as a Hunter surrounded by many Purebloods,that instinct was worryingly absent. And Kaito looked just as disturbed by it. He eyed him like he was missing an ear, or an eye or something, and Zero didn't like receiving that look. Maybe there was something wrong with him. Who was he kidding? There was always something "wrong" with him.

"Zero? Hey, come on-"

Zero shook out of his thoughts, Kaito was shaking his shoulder. He decided, perhaps, that maybe he was reading into things too much and Kaito was probably freaking over something else. He wasn't sure how to handle Kaito if he started to think Zero was a freak or something. Kaito wasn't the most tolerant person, and when confronted by something he didn't like, he tended to shoot first, rethink later. Zero's eyes jumped to Kaito's holster.

Why was he staring at that gun like it was meant for him? Kaito wouldn't shoot him… would he? Zero remembered playing with Kaito's gun as a kid. To think it was… for him? He blinked rapidly. Meant for a Vampire. These guns – even 'Rose, the one he treated like a person – could kill him, but not Kaito. Should he even be holding her anymore? Maybe he should follow Kaito's example and just _leave_ the goddamned Castle, because things were getting too damn complicated, and he didn't know where he fit in all of this. Even if Kaname wanted him to get the damned Weapon, or stay in the goddamn Castle, he fucking _couldn't. _He'd _tried_, he'd failed.

"I can-"

"No. Absolutely fucking not," Kaito snapped, resolute. He pinched his nose, "This is _exactly_ why I was _sneaking _off without telling you. _Fuck. _You know can't come with me, Zero. You're- " he gesticulated vaguely, "- I can't believe I'm fucking saying this, but you're _safe _here. And according to Kuran, you're needed here too. And even though you're looking better, you're still skinny like a chicken," he grabbed Zero's thin arm, the muscle loss significant now that his fingers enclosed fully around his bicep. Kaito squeezed it, "No punch, no fight,"

Zero tugged himself free and scowled, "I have 'Rose,"

Kaito sneered, "You don't have _shit_," he dangled 'Rose in front of Zero's nose. When he'd snagged it – Zero couldn't say – he was certain she was still in his waistband, but when he reached for her she _wasn't_ _there_. He took her from Kaito with trembling fingers. "Did you even know when I took her? No. And _that_ is my point exactly. Before, if I'd have done that, you'd have smacked me for even getting that close to your ass. But now, you're slower and weaker. On top of that, there's something's on your mind, and you know I can't bring you to the battlefield when your head's not in the game,"

Zero tucked 'Rose away, grudgingly acceding to his logic. "But where are you _going_?" he insisted, "What do you mean by a 'battle' – and why haven't I heard about it?"

Kaito snorted, "Hell if I know. Don't they tell you anything here? Or is it Chinese Whispers between the Vamps, hush-hush secrets kept from usHunters-"

"_Fuck_," Zero snarled, turning to the side. Why didn't he know about this? Why was he always kept out of loop? Was it just to keep him focused on Weapon-hunting? That was just – that wasn't _fair. _

"So he _really _didn't tell you?" Kaito's eyebrows were raised, his lip twitched like he wanted to smirk. Zero wished he wouldn't blush in anger like he did in embarrassment, because Kaito looked like he'd struck gold and grinned like a shark. "I thought you two were all buddy-buddy now,"

A pang of disappointment rang deeply inside him. He'd thought… he'd _thought _Kaname would have shared these things with him too. "Well maybe he has his reasons," he closed his eyes, "But I don't _understand_. I thought the war hadn't even properly started yet," So far there had been no action on the battlefield – Kaito snorted.

"Just because you can't see it happening, doesn't mean it isn't happening. The fight has already begun, Zero,"

"Explain," he ordered, folding his arms again.

Kaito hummed, "Well, I may have overheard Kaname talking to one of his duckies earlier – the blonde one, I think-"

"Takuma?"

"No-"

"Aidou?"

"Fuck if I know one from another, they're all the same to me. Stop interrupting, _jeez. _Anyway, Kaname was telling him to head out with his friend and two others are heading to the other side of the periphery to check that side too. Apparently the visiting Pureblood has brought tons of her followers with her but they're hanging around at the border instead of coming here. She only brought a small group to the Castle, but our patrols have sent word that there could be _hundreds _of them standing by the border. We don't know if they're just waiting out of politeness' sake or if they're really a possible threat, but they're a risk anyhow_," _

"So you're going to check them out,"

Kaito hummed yes. His right thigh blade caught the light right then, silently speaking on behalf of its master, reminding Zero that Kaito was decked in a _shit-load _ofhis weapons_._ He was ready to shed blood some way or other – Kaito was a little psycho. He enjoyed Hunting and killing Vampires more than any other Hunter Zero knew. Even if he hated Vampires too, Zero knew he hated killing them. It was one thing hating something – it was another, to kill it. Zero sometimes had flashes of pity for the creatures, knowing those Es were what he could've been, had Kaname not prevented his descent. With each kill he knew he was killing something that had been Human at one point, just like him.

"Let me come with you. I'm a _soldier_, Kaito. I belong on the battlefield, just like you," he literally grabbed Kaito's collar, "And I didn't even _know_ about this 'fight'. It pisses me off. These Vamps are laughing at me, Kaito. _Come on_, have some heart!"

"Do you think I _like_ leaving you behind, Zero?" he asked in a strained voice, "Because I _don't. _I'm only listening to sensei here. And he says there's nowhere else for you to be but here," Zero knew he didn't like where this was heading – "Because… I'm sorry Zero, but you _are_ one of these… these Vamps,"

His whole body recoiled in rejection and he couldn't bear to look at Kaito. It wasn't even an insult, but it was thrown in his face like one. Kaito knew he was striking a nerve_. _Zero couldn't stand moments like this, where he was forced to face what he was – torn between two species – three even. Kaito might stick him with the Vamps, but the truth was that he didn't belong to them the same way that he didn't belong with Hunters anymore, or Humans either.

"– you know that, right?" Kaito continued, gently, like he suddenly understood tact.

Zero parted his lips a fraction, but he couldn't say anything. Kaito gingerly lifted his wrist, turning it in a patch of light where they could see the vines writhe, seething with Zero's anger unbidden under his skin.

"Look at this. This isn't normal – this isn't _Human_. It certainly isn't Hunter. You're one of them now," his voice wasn't angry, but it was because he sounded so reasonable that made it more difficult to hear. "I'm checking up on the Hunter troops after I check the border stuff first,"

"Well, since you're going past the barracks, you have to check on Ichiru for me-"

"What the _fuck_, is he doing at the barracks?"

"He got bored. I dunno, no one was watching him," Zero shrugged, "I wasn't there. He snuck out with Rima to the barracks. Supposedly Sara's people helped out ours in an attack. It's part of the reason Kaname thinks she'll help us again,"

Kaito blinked slowly, "But Ichiru doesn't – he can't _fight_. You know that?"

"Of course I know. That's why I'm telling you to go save that dumbass before he hurts himself,"

"That boy is coming back grounded, whether he hurt his ass or not," he informed him. Though he was still bitter, Zero agreed.

He didn't know how to be around Kaito anymore. Kaito hadn't shunned him which he guessed was good, but he'd pointed out something irrefutable – he was changed. He was _different_. Zero didn't want Kaito to abandon him in this Castle where he didn't fit anywhere. The only other Hunter there with him was Yagari who was high as a kite.

That reminded him –

"His coat," he muttered numbly. Yagari's coat – he never took it off.

"Well, he's not using it, so," Kaito shrugged, stretching his arms out. "He lent it to me. Obviously he couldn't part with the hat,"

"Or the boots,"

"Or the boots," Kaito agreed, "Or the eye patch,"

Zero smiled tightly, trying to hide the fact that seeing Kaito wearing the coat bothered him so much. It fit him well, he was the right height and build for it – that wasn't the problem. Well, maybe that _was _the problem, actually. The coat suited him so well, but Zero had always imagined it on himself.

He'd hoped someday Yagari would gift him with it – much like he'd done for Kaito – and he'd treasure it, probably making much more of a deal of sentimentality from the gesture than Yagari would like him to (but at heart, Zero was always a gentle-hearted soul). He'd see it as a demonstration of his worth as a Hunter, of having met Yagari's standards and showing how he deserved it. He deserved it.

But here it was, given to Kaito for warmth and protection. Far more practical things a Hunter would want on a trip, than symbolic _worth. _What was Zero thinking?

It was a crushing blow though, similar to how he'd felt seeing Kurosu Academy down in ruins. This time again, his identity was crumbling with his dreams. Zero had never thought a coat could mean so much to him.

"I'd best get going then,"

He nodded and almost slapped a hand on Kaito's shoulder, stopping just short of touching the coat. He couldn't bear to touch it, "Yeah – uh take care…" he struggled for a moment. "…of it," he motioned to the coat, "Take care of it,"

Kaito's mouth quirked and he ruffled Zero's hair in an annoying big-brother fashion. "Sure. See you, kid,"

Zero nodded, and that was it – Kaito left. The silence left behind reflected how he felt inside – hollow – empty.

Vast.

* * *

><p>Kaito sped through the Castle like his life depended on it. Anything to escape the broken look in Zero's eyes which <em>he <em>had put there. It was a low blow, ditching him like that, but it had to be done. He also knew the import of Yagari's coat for Zero – as a little kid, he'd fixated on it. It meant a whole lot more to Zero than it ever would to him, and he'd be sure to return it to him in as pristine condition as it was currently… or at least in one piece.

Zero was stronger, certainly, but he was fragile, in more ways than just his physical self. In this journey he was taking, he was losing more of himself than Kaito could bear to watch. Bits of him were being taken apart, and he was being left with nothing. Admittedly, Kaito knew he was one of the people abandoning Zero, but what could he do? What could he do?

He vaulted up the stairs, careful to tread silently as well as swiftly, and broke the cover of darkness to open the windo-

"Hunter,"

"_Holy. _Jesus," he wheezed, clinging to the windowsill as he was unceremoniously dragged down by the back of his pants. He was alarmed to feel small hands grabbing his ass so boldly, and turned to find – Seiren. Only Kaito didn't know it was Seiren, because all Vampires looked alike. Huh.

"What is the hell is _wrong _with you?" he hissed, "_Warn a guy_," She looked remarkably unruffled compared to his reddening face.

"Kuran-sama told me to assist you,"

"Don't need it, thanks,"

"It wasn't a choice," Seiren stepped forwards (He wouldn't admit it, but he was slightly intimidated, despite her relative small size.), "It was an order,"

"I'll tell you where you can stick your fucking orders-"

"Oi, Hunter-baka,"

Kaito turned around, this time to find Airi waiting on his other side, her arms crossed and hip cocked. Away from Kaname's watchful eye, it seemed that she could show some attitude, which he grudgingly approved of. Kaito noted her eyes narrow in plain distaste..

"What are _you _doing here?" he grumbled, finding satisfaction as she sneered back at him. Of course, he why she was here too – more _assistance_. Kaname's 'lending hand' was probably more to keep an eye on him than to offer him protection. "You know what? No thank you, _ladies. _I can do perfectly fine on my own," he brushed Airi aside (read: whacked her with the side of his Baby. Kaito had no qualms about hitting girls.). She wouldn't budge.

Kaito sniffed the air.

More Vampires.

He spun around, this time finding, to his despair, two blonde and two redheaded duckies (one small and one freakishly tall). _Shit._

"Oh, for _fuck's sa-"_

"Assistance," Kain raised his hand with a winning smile, as did Aidou, and Takuma and Senri (after a helpful nudge). Kaito growled, almost stomping his feet.

"You aren't coming with me!" he snapped, scrambling backwards onto the windowsill. "Seriously, fuck off_,_"

"We're all investigating the same thing, so why not go together?" Takuma offered with a more tolerable smile. It was difficult to hate that blondie, with his _friendliness_, and whatnot. Still, Kaito refused him with a sneer. Takuma shifted, "I know you don't like us-"

"Oh, fuck this," Kaito snapped, fed up of the wait. He crawled away from Seiren's hands and nodded diffidently at the two girls, for being the freakiest women he'd ever met, "_Ladies_,"

Even as he dismissed them, Kaito knew they wouldn't let him go alone. Those duckies were ruthless in following their boss's orders, and so, they would follow him.

Sure enough, the second he leapt from the window, he heard Takuma command, "Tail him," and two pairs of footsteps – lighter ones, the girls – tag along behind him. Delightful. He threw a couple of colourful insults over his shoulder, but otherwise ignored his them. Kaito heard the other four's footsteps hit the ground behind them, but then split up into pairs, and one went to the west, the other to the east. He was heading north, towards the barracks, with Ichiru on his mind. If the messengers had been accurate in their delivery, the _whole _perimeter was lined with Sara's followers, so he'd bump into them whichever direction he took to breach the border.

Kaito was so busy trying to shake the girls off his back, he almost didn't see the flash of white through the trees – a large white figure – which by his best guess had to be… well, _could_ it be? It moved so fast, he'd barely seen it. It could've been a ghost for all he knew. To think it was headed to the Castle wasn't _worrying _in the sense that it was a danger to anyone, if it was what he thought it was. But it carried with it a sense of foreboding. _Perfect_, he thought, _Vampires, Vampire-Hunters – what they obviously needed was a ghost, and now, they had one_.

* * *

><p>"No," Zero waved off the bottle of water, panting on his knees with his face in the dirt, "No more. <em>No<em>," he growled, thumping the ground. "I've done this… six times already. Each time it lasts longer than the last, and I'm getting _nowhere_! Can't you think of anything, Isaya? You knew Juri well, didn't you?_ Jesus Christ,_"

The Pureblood was perched on the lip of the pool, offering refreshments and encouragement each time Zero returned from the pergola. When Zero had met with Isaya, he'd experienced the same cloud of his mind camouflaging his – flashes of Isaya's wife stained his mind. He'd huffed at Isaya, complaining that _how was he meant to concentrate on cracking Juri's password-thingy if _she_ was in his mind?_ Isaya had apologised, but hadn't answered him.

He just had to work _around _Isaya's entire_ mind _then. Zero batted away another proffered biscuit, wiping the sweat from his brow. Each attempt felt like hours, but was mere minutes for Isaya. Six times alone felt like he'd spent an entire day in the never-ending pergola. The thorns were becoming more vicious too with each try, as though warning him not to try so unprepared. He was spit out half-chewed and _sore, _and nauseous from the maze.

"Juri was actually quite a lot like you,"

"In what way?" he squinted up at Isaya, unable to lift himself from the floor. He was slumped at Isaya's feet, still breathing hard.

"The way that you're taking this is all _wrong, _charging head-first without stopping for much of a breather_. _We – Kaien and I – always compared Juri to the sun, being as bright and loving as she was, and _relentless _in fighting for what she believed in. But her main strength was of the heart. It was always of the heart," he leaned forwards above Zero, "She didn't give up easily, like you. She cared too much,"

"_Okay_?"

"So stop thinking about it so much, and just let yourself be. It will come to you-"

"You sound like a damn fortune-cookie-"

"- sooner than you think. Rest your mind, think with your heart-"

"- Isaya, _listen _to yourself, goddamn it-"

"- you can take a break, you know,"

"Really?" Zero blinked. Even though Isaya hadn't been pushing him to try again and again, his presence alone had been pushing Zero to do so. The option of resting hadn't occurred to him_, _but he was exhausted. Each time he went in, he summoned all his hate for Kaname he used to feel (and still sometimes felt), because that was what Juri wanted – his replacement for her Rido was Kaname. But it wasn't _enough_. He knew even if he tried, he couldn't replicate the hate he used to feel (god, he'd been so full of _hate _in those old days), because when he thought of Kaname now, he thought of all the good things he'd learnt about him too. He knew Kaname differently now. He knew him to be a good man. Juri had hated Rido with everything that she had, she'd wanted to _destroy him._

It was impossible to feel as much hate as he used to. They were friends.

Maybe _hate_ wasn't the answer.

Like Isaya suggested, maybe it was _love. _He considered that. Part of what he'd thought would fit his life to Juri's was his _hate _for Kaname being fuelled by his _love _for Yuuki – in Juri's case, her hate for Rido ruining things for her and Haruka's love. These were past feelings, with much less truth to them now, but that was what he was going with. It didn't seem to be working.

"Let's go back. It's time for you to return to Kaname, anyway," Isaya lead him away from the Garden after bolting the pergola shut. Zero wanted to protest for making him sound like a lost puppy of Kaname's, but he was simply too tired to.

They reached Kaname's rooms, and Isaya decided to sit with him until Kaname returned, since Zero's mind wouldn't be shielded till then. They stayed in silence, not an uncomfortable silence, but an exhausted one. Zero was grateful for the absence of Isaya's usual chatter, but also concerned by it. He seemed much less cheerful than before, and part of his gloom seeped into Zero.

He couldn't help but ask, "What's up?"

Isaya smiled dourly, "I won't burden you with my troubles at this time, child. You have plenty to think of already,"

Still, Zero felt an overwhelming wave of melancholy shoot through his mind like a cannon-ball, the image of Isaya's wife rose to the surface. It was obvious. It was so damn obvious. Zero felt like a jerk for bringing it up, and cruel for having scolded Isaya for shoving her in his face because it was obvious now that he _couldn't stop _thinking about her. He had no choice but to watch the memories of his beautiful wife in his mind, and neither did Isaya.

She was an elegant woman with dark red hair and a heart-shaped face, wide red eyes staring at him – at Isaya – with laughter clearly within them. He could hear her laughter, an infectious shrieking giggle. It drew a smile to his lips. And he could smell raspberries, or some sort of sweet pastry – the base notes of a flowery blood-scent that was delicious. It made him feel warm.

To think that in all of this, not one thing brought Isaya an ounce of happiness anymore. It was taunting him, torturing him – Isaya was still hurting over her loss. Time wasn't a healer, it was just getting used to dealing with it after plenty of time. He wallowed in the past, but not in the same hapless way Kaname did – this was only temporary. These phases of melancholy came and went and he was getting better at dealing with it. Zero hoped Kaname could reach this point soon.

"You know, she used to forget a lot of things,"

"Hmm?" Zero shook off the latest image of her – arms spread out, a welcoming embrace (_he could feel her phantom arms around his waist and imagine holding her tight against him_).

"My wife," Isaya explained, "I wanted to understand what type of mental difficulty she was facing. Sometimes I was convinced it was just memory-loss, because she used to forget things all the time, and I could pretend that she didn't hate _me. _She just didn't know me and didn't know how to face me – she wasn't mad, just frightened and alone,"

Zero nodded, watching her pick up her child carefully, but clumsily. Like she didn't quite understand how to fit him in her arms, or like her arms couldn't remember his shape. He grabbed her hair with one hand which didn't make her angry at all. She looked maybe like an aunt, but not a mother. She pursed her lips and readjusted him on her hip, and he smiled.

"Sometimes I was afraid she would forget me. It was what I was afraid of,"

The little boy waddled into her arms. She caught his stumble, laughing as he head-butted her bosom and twirled around her skirts. It was better now. She recognised the child as someone she adored. Even if she didn't know his name. Her red hair twirled as they spun around and around.

"I told her everyday _'I love you,'_ because that was the most important thing. If she knew that, I knew we could get through anything. It was the most important thing to me, for her to appreciate that she was loved,"

It was impossible to see her and not _feel_ love – like Juri, she exuded it. It was difficult to imagine that such a radiant, loving woman was slowly losing her mind, that she could devastate a man even millennia after her death. Kaname and Isamu weren't alone in their tragedy. Love seemed to cause as much pain as it did joy to those who truly felt it.

Zero couldn't say he was jealous of that.

He watched another scene – this time she was walking ahead – this was before the children – and she was trailing her hand in a tall crop of wheat. The autumn sun blazed the whole scene in amber – "Where is this?"

"Outside the Hio Grounds, a local farmer's land,"

She was at her element in the sun, reflected its glory with all the beauty she possessed. It was as though the rays of sun collected in her and shot directly into Isaya. And when she turned around – he felt it.

It rushed into his mind and suffused his heart – saturated it with thousands of things he couldn't name. With _love. _This was what _love_ felt like – was this what Juri wanted him to feel? He knew what loving Yuuki felt like. It was like this –warm and gloriously sweet. He'd loved her, yearned for her, cherished her company. She would always be his first love, and the best girl in the universe for him_. _Even though he knew he still loved Yuuki, and always would, it didn't quite match Isaya's understanding of love. Most of the time he had to admit, he felt bitter about loving her, knowing his feelings were only one-sided and doomed to fail.

Isaya had said Juri's heart was like the Sun, and that his was like Juri's in that respect. If that was so, why had he never felt ablaze with emotion like this? If the Sun was made to shine, surely his heart was made to love. It made no sense – he knew he could feel love, he knew he could _feel_ something like _this –_

The door opened, hasty footsteps thundered in the stillness and a hot hand gripped Zero's neck tightly, tilting him up to Kaname's distraught face. A thumb swept under his cheek.

"Why are you crying? Zero, why…"

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong>

**Guys, I cannot apologise for the longest hiatus yet. I've been studying hard for my finals exams, so I hope you all understand. **

**(FYI: Chemistry is hard. Don't be a dumbass like me, choosing it because of the pretty equipment and labcoat, and it is NOT like HP Potions. Damn you Snape)**

**But school is officially over for me. NO MORE. Now I move onto Uni (ifIgetthegrades) - ultimately, a - **

**...bigger school... *sigh***

**I'm going on a much-needed holiday for just over a week, but will return fully-pumped for finishing this Godzilla of a fanfic, I promise! Enjoy the summer guys! Love you all!**

**puui x**


	94. The Truth Can Hurt

_**He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love**_

**~ Martin Luther King**

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**HOLY CRAP IM BACK IM ALIVE IM SORRY TT_TT**

* * *

><p>Of the few times Zero had ever cried in his life, he had to say this had to be the worst thanks to his audience. Kaname was accusing Isaya for overdoing the mind-sharing with Zero and Isaya was arguing back that definitely hadn't advantage of Zero in such a way, how <em>dare <em>Kaname accuse him of such a thing. According to him Zero's mind – "_craved contact" _like nothing he'd ever seen before_, _and it was his "_natural curiosity"_ that led him to dig too deep.

Zero would never be curious again. Ever. He never wanted to suffer this ever again. Isaya _had_ only provided his mind as a shelter for Zero's, like pitching a tent over him to protect him against the elements – but Zero had torn straight through that tent, desperate in his desire to see beyond it_. _

What he _hadn't_ thought about was that he'd only get to see a snatch of it before the "tent" would collapse on him, and then things would hurt.

When Isaya withdrew his mind, Zero was left alone in his own mind, far too aware of the vast, empty spaces that occupied it. The withdrawal was what had Zero gasping on the bed like a fish out of water. The harsh backlash was the thread stitching his mind to Isaya's being plucked apart, and his mind unravelling faster than he could comprehend. It was like being dropped into icy water with bricks tied to your feet. You couldn't save yourself. Kaname and Isaya were trying to reach him before he fell completely out of reach. But everything was so distant to him, disconnected and floating above his understanding. He lost sight of their faces. He lost sense of direction completely.

The first sense to come back was touch – the moist heat of Kaname's gusty breaths so close to him and the rough grain of Isaya's fingers holding him in place.

When he came to, it happened suddenly. The remaining senses surged back, biting like the chill of air on your face when you breach the water's surface. Zero saw his mind being snapped into his body as easy as putting two pieces of LEGO together. In reality he knew it was far more complex than that, but the idea still it made him laugh.

"Zero," Kaname dragged him into a seated position, "You can't do that again. You can't go digging around when you don't know-" he sighed, "- when it's someone else's mind and you _don't-_" his lips pressed together, unable to speak. His eyes were so _open_ for once. It was like staring into the clearest water, and was able to see all the way down to the bottom. There was so much worry gathered there, so many burdens as heavy and unmovable as boulders on a riverbed.

Zero felt Kaname's mindcover him strong like the walls of a fortress. He felt safe resting his aching mind in Kaname's, because he was supported as gently as hands might cradle an injured bird's wing. It was completely different to Isaya's mind, where he felt like he had nowhere to be. He couldn't help but glance in little flicks to Isaya who looked tremendously bashful.

"My apologies," he ducked his head, "I was startled by Kaname's appearance so my concentration was... I could have been gentler, if I'd had more time to focus,"

Zero saw Kaname shoot Isaya a dirty look from being given part of the blame. He hated attention and being fussed over when nothing was wrong and he was better now, thank you very much, so he shoved Kaname angrily. It was pathetic how little the impact was. He hadn't moved an inch.

It shocked him when he found it difficult to speak, his words slurring heavily, "Feels like… _hangover_,"

Kaname sighed in such a disappointed way that Zero felt like he had to _apologise_, much to his surprise. He didn't _understand _the compulsion_. _Kaname was pacing around the room in diagonals and sharp turns. Even Zero knew by now that this meant he was _pissed._

"I came here because I knew you were panicking," he told Zero, and on the next lap darted a reproachful look at Isaya, "Your methods of _protection_ bring me much doubt, sir,"

"It was an accident, Kaname," Isaya insisted, "And it won't happen again. I have full control of it. Please. It was when you-"

"When _I_ –?"

"When you barged in!" Isaya growled, empowered by his own defence. "I lost focus!"

"I _barged in_ becauseeverything _wasn't _under control. We cannot afford this. He was – he was suffocating from your mind and its godforsaken _problems_!" Isaya's face darkened, but Kaname paid him no mind, "Keep it to yourself. I didn't send him to you for your own fucked up version of therapy_, _and his mind is not yours to take. I told you to _protect_ him, not _smother _him-"

"**Enough. **For fuck's sake, Kaname, _enough_," Zero snapped, his ears burning. He watched Isaya wilt under Kaname's scorn. "Let it go. I'm fine, you shouldn't have left Sara for this. You have work… to do?" only now did Zero take in Kaname's appearance. He might've looked a little scruffy before, but now he looked positively ravaged. His tie was askew and ripped in places and the top buttons of his shirt were _gone _(not unbuttoned, _gone_). Kaname scratched his nose, bringing attention to his reddened lips. "…but… I can see you _have_ been working," Zero tried not to sound too affected. Kaname's uncharacteristic appearance was _distracting._

Kaname barely nodded, wiping his mouth on his sleeve. It came away red. Zero's brows shot up. So there had been blood-sharing as well as kissing? My, my, Kaname _had_ been working hard.

"Isn't she wondering where you are?" Isaya pointed out, making Kaname jerk in surprise, clearly having forgotten him.

Slowly, he nodded, "…yes, I -" his eyes widened, and Isaya tensed beside him. What was going on? Without warning, Kaname lunged at him and dragged him to the floor. He was rolled under the bed and hushed. "She is coming," Kaname hissed. The bed cover was dragged to hide the mattress and Zero from view, just in time for the door to open.

Zero could hear them try to shoo her away politely. She spoke more privately with Kaname and Isaya casually drifted towards the bed to give them space, also nudging his toe under the bed near Zero. He couldn't help it when the slight shrillness to Sara's tone and Isaya's well-timed toe-wiggle made him smirk triumphantly, the image of her twirling around in a huff after being turned away and stomping away like a wounded bull drew a laugh into his throat.

Kaname thankfully came back for him and Zero spat out dust and gladly accepted water from Isaya and his seat again. Isaya's hands shook as he handed him the glass, and his eyebrows were furrowed. He'd barely noticed it, but for a fraction of a second Isaya's mind flexed around his again, this time carefully keeping tight control and staying outside the realm of Zero's mind, only brushing against it, almost as though he was skimming a finger over Zero's shoulder rather than grabbing it.

"She's in the library," Kaname said bleakly and turned to Zero with an apologetic expression, "Are you sure you're alright? Maybe I shouldn't leave you…" _with him_, he didn't even glance in Isaya's direction, but it wasn't even necessary.

"I'll be fine," Zero said quietly, refusing to let Kaname offend Isaya any further. He was being _ridiculous_.

Kaname's forehead crinkled and he stared over Zero's head at Isaya. Zero was just about to force Kaname to apologise, but then he realised there was something different in the way Kaname was looking at Isaya – like before Sara came. Like they were… talking in their heads. Kaname nodded, "I should… I should go soon," he said, but took his time getting to his feet. He abruptly changed en route to the door, swerving towards Zero and taking his hands – "Zero, Isaya told me your progress hasn't been very… productive,"

He gave him a dry look, "No sir,"

"Don't let it get you down," Kaname murmured, squeezing his fingers between his. The comfort was not unwanted, and Zero couldn't help but admire Kaname's charisma, which managed to soothe his doubts so easily. The disappointment from before was no longer visible in Kaname's eyes, which were only earnest in holding his gaze. Zero was both humbled and overwhelmed by this generosity, which felt like forgiveness. "You'll get there. I know you will,"

He tried to nod convincingly, but it was difficult, believing it would happen. Even he knew by now that time was running out, but Kaname was almost promising him all the time in the world, and Zero was afraid he'd lose the proper motivation. "Yeah, I'll try not to…yeah," Sure, a lot of things were riding on him getting the Weapon, but it was _Kaname's _faith that was the thing weighing him down the and also holding him up.

Kaname literally shook him back to the present, and he was pinned under another severe gaze. "I'm serious, Zero. If you feel at all uncertain around him, I will ensure that he stays completely away from you-"

"Kaname, _no,_" Zero hissed, mortified beyond belief, "Stop it," he begged, darting sympathetic looks at Isaya's sagging posture. The hardness in Kaname's eyes softened marginally, though when he replied, it was without giving an inch.

"You don't understand the severity of his lax control," he warded Isaya off with a sharp hand-movement that had Zero flinching. "Even though it _was_ accidental, even though it wasn't his fault – it was his responsibility. Playing around with the mind is always permanent. You cannot fix anything up there once it's done. If something had gone wrong, if I hadn't gotten here in time," by this point he was towering over Zero in his despair, "You could have been irreversibly damaged. Even with our best attempts to recover what we could, you would never be the same," he grit his teeth together, and then he tore away, taking deep breaths to calm himself.

"I will meet you here later," Kaname promised, "Rest, before you do anything. Think about what I said before and remember, stay away from _everyone, _if you can help it," he turned to Isaya with barely concealed contempt, "That includes him. Stay on your guard, Zero. Trust no one,"

Zero opened his mouth to retort, but Kaname was already at the door by then.

"You have no idea how close we came to a real disaster," he said over his shoulder. As he closed the door, he slipped in, "If you did, you would not fail me again,"

* * *

><p>It did not please Kaito to be panting and sweating so profusely whilst both girls were up on their feet looking fresh as daisies. Kaito couldn't feel his right leg from the thigh down thanks to a particularly tightly tied tourniquet bandage (courtesy of Airi). He drummed his fingers on it absently, more interested in watching the girls drag their captives one-by-one to encircle his feet. He preened a little, thinking this meant they understood <em>he<em> was still in charge.

He was wrong. It was his numb leg that they wanted.

The only conscious captive was propped up against it like it was a fucking _chair back_, the girls simultaneously crossed their arms for extra intimidation. They didn't need to do this. Kaito could already feel the poor man pressing back against his shin.

The thing was… they were all just as surprised by the fight as the man was of still being _alive. _When they'd been attacked, Kaito had noticed their opponents fought like they were up against their greatest enemies. It was the sort of mindset one had in a desperate fight to the death. Kaito was glad the girls hadn't killed anyone, because as soon as he'd gotten close enough to them, he'd realised there were Hunters among the guard. It was thankfully only a Hunter's blade that had stabbed him in the thigh – he'd feared it was Vampire's teeth on him.

The man that lay against him was a Hunter, and Kaito felt immediate kinship with, also being at the mercy of these two infuriatingly unflustered Vampires. He nudged the guy in the shoulder with his gun, holding it in the light for him to see. This instantly calmed the man.

"It's alright, man," he muttered, "Now, care to tell us why you guys attacked us, hmm? No warning, no apparent reason. We meant no harm, but clearly you did,"

"Oh, no sir, _no_," he babbled, eyes widening and rolling back and showing far too much whites, making Kaito shift, unnerved by it. "I'm so sorry. You're with the Royal Guard aren't you, sir? I didn't realise Hunters were part of them too now-_"_

"Oh fuck no," Kaito sputtered, "I am _not _with them," He instantly knew this was the wrong thing to say because he probably thought his words meant –"But they're okay, seriously. They're cool, man. You're safe," he patted the tension out of the man's shoulders again, chuckling nervously. The last thing they needed was him fainting from shock. "Perfectly harmless, see?"

Seiren attempted a rather pitiful smile, and Airi helpfully refrained from pointing out that the soldiers knocked out around them which weren't helping their case much.

"Back to my question pal, _why did you guys attack us_?" Kaito repeated. Procedure on the gates was to always ask questions_ first_, and then and only then, if the party were hostile they would be dealt with accordingly. They hadn't even got a fucking _chance _to speak.

The man looked totally mortified. He thought he was in deep, deep shit. Kaito quickly assured him he wasn't.

"Well… you see, right now there are fourteen soldiers including myself. Before, there were twenty-six,"

Kaito winced. After losing so many, no wonder they were quick to draw a gun on anyone. Unanticipated attack could cause the best of men to become paranoid, but for these soldiers who had been specifically picked for their ability to stay calm and alert in the dullest, yet most vital of posts… it must've had quite an impact on them to act in this way.

Kaito sucked air between his teeth, "Describe your attackers,"

"Sir, we were attacked by groups of around your size, which was the main reason why we at first thought you –"

"In _threes?_" Kaito asked in confusion – firstly who on _Earth _sent groups in such small numbers? And secondly, they'd trained these men to deal with _scores_ of opponents, in the event of the Castle under siege. Groups as small as _threes _should be cake in his opinion. "I'm sorry – _threes?_"

The man ducked his head. "I _know_, sir, I know," he squirmed pitifully, "But they were so _fast_. We barely had time to – they drove us out of formation and lured us outside the grounds,"

"So, they were trying to get into the Castle? Fucking business as usual – _oi!_" Kaito bit back a curse as Airi kicked him in the other shin, and muttered, "_Leave me _one _leg, woman, _fuck_,"_ he only looked up when Seiren cast a shadow on him.

"They come in threes, you say?"

The man nodded, "In small groups, three to five, no more than that. But from what we saw," his eyes darkened, "The way they looked. The way they fought was barely… it was impossibly fast, and _not _normal. At first we thought they were –"

"Es," Kaito breathed, looking to Seiren for confirmation. She nodded stiffly.

The man hummed, "Yeah, but I've never seen them like that. Their strength wasn't what you'd expect, it wasn't _normal, _and they moved together as a unit rather than the loners we know them to be,"

Airi placed a hand on his shoulder, "This news," she said quietly to him, "The fact that _Rido _sent them. We've been so blind to the reality of the fact that he is getting so far ahead of us _he could already have us in his hands. _Why didn't we know anything about this, Kaito-san?"

"I don't know," he whispered back, but he knew why. They had wrongly assumed everything was fine was because everything was quiet, "They've cut our contact, our communications between the different stations," They were being isolated and silenced.

"This is one little section of the border," Airi emphasised in a hiss, "They could've already got in through _so many _other places-"

"I _know _-"

"No!" the man grasped Kaito's ankle, "No one got in!" he insisted, dropping his head back in earnest, knocking against Kaito's stomach, "We didn't let anyone in,"

Kaito hushed him, turning him to lie sideways on the ground. He covered the man's ears and turned to Airi and Seiren, "The fuck? We're here to check on Sara's people, but find this _bullshit? _Where are they? What the fuck is going on?"

Seiren crouched down beside him, "Please, look at this," she plucked the man's collar, wiping the mud off the lapel and part of his shoulder. He had finally lost consciousness. "Look at his uniform,"

"Isn't that border patrol?" Airi bent down to join her.

"No. Those uniforms are issued from the barracks," Kaito answered. From what he knew, they hadn't launched this squadron yet. Then again, communications weren't so reliable anymore, were they?

Even so, what was he doing here?

Airi carefully dragged him off his leg and onto her lap. Kaito couldn't take his eyes off the jagged gashes that curved over his jaw, no doubt from one of those monsters clawing his face. He was _really _young. The cuts were deep and angry red crevasses carved in his still baby-fat rounded cheeks.

He stirred a little, and re-woke quickly. Instead of flying off Airi, he clutched her hand desperately, "We were sent here from the mountains, we were sent to aide the border,"

"By whom?" Kaito sat up, "Who gave that command?"

But the man was already slipping away into another painful sleep.

Kaito turned to the girls with a sigh, "Well…" he shrugged. None of the information added together. Airi was checking each unconscious body and informed him that the majority of the unconscious party were actually from the barracks. In fact, only three of them were originally here at the border. Who sent these men to support the border? How did they know help was needed? Whoever this person was, they were by proxy their ally. Their very valuable ally.

"We need to get these people some help," Airi was the first to suggest, to which Kaito agreed, quickly planning a course of action. His first concern was that they were only three people with fourteen unconscious people lying around them. You didn't have to be a genius to see that that was a problem.

They'd have to wait for them to wake up properly and see if they could move themselves, because there was no fucking way they could leave them like this – vulnerable to any other Es – and there was no way they could move them all at once. But waiting would take time – time which they didn't have. (The more Kaito sat there, the dull aching throb of his wound was a reminder that he'd been inattentive to his surroundings – under the false delusion that the war wasn't happening _yet_. The truth was it was here and he was rusty. He should expect more pain, because this was only the grim beginning.)

The only option was –

"You're both staying,"

Seiren was the first – surprisingly – to protest.

"You cannot go alone," she reasoned, subtly pointing out his leg with a glance. She stood up, "I will go,"

"_I _will go," Airi insisted, sliding the man's head to the ground and standing too. She slapped him around the head, "And don't order us about. Who made you boss? I only follow-"

"_Shut up!"_ he snapped, holding his hands up. He stood gingerly, on much less steady feet than he was used to, but he had their undivided attention immediately. He put some pressure on his bad leg and was pleased to admit, his face didn't give away how agonising it really was. "_Ladies, _I really mean no offence… this time. It isn't because you're women, or Vampires – no, actually that's wrong. It's exactly _because _you are _Vampires._ These people _need _you," he gestured to his leg, "Even if I wasn't – _this –_ I'm naturally a tiny bit weaker than you on a good day, so with me injured I'm no help at all. Also, you guys…" he paused, uncertain how to voice his suspicions without enraging two frightening young ladies, "…you keep, you're both very distracted by my – by my… by me and things. And my leg and stuff," he babbled, and watched them both avoid his gaze. It gave him the confidence again to believe that they'd listen to him (probably), "You two can handle this together. Someone needs to see what happened at the barracks-"

"Who says you won't be attacked on the way?" Airi butted in, eyes widened. "You'll be alone. You'll be easy prey with that leg,"

"Better one lost than sixteen," he shrugged, "And anyway, one man travelling alone is less noticeable than two or three. This is covert business, dumbass," he grinned. Inside, Kaito was fighting to hold every muscle in his body still. This was a stupid idea. Even though the only pain he had was in his leg, and he'd suffered worse at other times, it was like he was the deer shot in the hind. It only took that one thing to slow him down and he was easy prey. He was most likely going to die before he could bring anything he learnt back from the barracks. But at least he could say he'd tried.

"Can you even run?"

It was Seiren who asked this. He walked around the group, and then jogged to prove it. Each time his foot struck the ground, he gnashed his teeth together in pain. It was both on fire and cold. He was losing blood and time.

"Yep, it's fine," he lied through his teeth, "I can totally get there. So, let's not waste anymore time, 'k?" he ignored the jarring, fiery burn that roared through his bone up to his hips. Oh heck. The whole leg would have to be chopped by the end of this, surely. Amputation. He shuddered.

"Go," the assassin murmured unemotionally, "Be swift. You'll see us at the Castle,"

Kaito nodded, sparing a quick glance at Airi's unreadable expression.

"As soon as they're awake, get them to the Castle," he laid down his final instructions, to which Seiren nodded and Airi scowled. "And when you get there, take the news to Yuuki or one of the others. Something weird is going on. Don't let Sara hear a thing, got it?"

He didn't wait for an answer, and took off on the last word, trying to convert his pain into adrenaline.

_I can do this, _he told himself… even though each footstep was like walking on glass, and his vision, after a bit, started to blur. Sweat poured off him and stung his eyes. Kaito knew he was losing it. Had he even made it very far?

But then, he saw it again. The white flash.

Before it had been heading towards the Castle, but for a few seconds it ran alongside him. Its appearance this time uplifted Kaito, knowing that this strange apparition was with him, maybe even urging him on like when crowds run alongside the marathon-runner. That energy surged inside him, and his mind cleared and his leg was forgotten.

Despite the threat of the wilderness of the out-Kingdom, Kaito knew he was perhaps not completely alone in this, and he concentrated on Ichiru was waiting for him.

That idiot boy didn't know what he was in for.

* * *

><p>It didn't take Aidou long to get back on his feet. Kain knew he should be pleased about this, but he wasn't totally bought by the performance. He couldn't believe he was as unaffected as he was pretending to be. If Aidou didn't want to say anything to him, the only choice he had was to assume he was fine<em>. <em>

When they had met with Takuma and Shiki, Kain could instantly see there was a difference in the way they stood. They'd always been joint at the hip before, but now he could guarantee they'd taken that saying into literal, you know, _joint at the hip__**s**_. The afterglow enveloped them in conjugal bliss, the slight smugness of Takuma's hand on Shiki's waist screaming his possessiveness. And there was also that smell. The telling mixed blood scent which told him exactly the nature of their… of thei- of them. He'd smelt the same thing around his parents, he knew what it meant.

They'd split up at the border, and he was trailing behind Aidou, trying not to stare too obviously at his clothed back and remember how many bandages were holding it together. They passed the border with little incidence, and now they were outside in the dark, where Sara's people were said to be.

But there was no one there.

Aidou's breaths fogged up the air as he pivoted in confusion. His skinny frame was so fragile in the moonlight, and even though Kain knew he was meant to be looking around, he couldn't take his eyes off him.

"Let's split up?" Kain suggested, "Circle around and back here in ten?"

Aidou nodded, "'kay," and then he was off. It was that type of awkward interaction that led to him thinking something wasn't quite right between them. Little movements that pulled away from Kain, instead of leaning towards him felt a fraction colder.

Kain shook himself from these thoughts. He couldn't afford to be distracted, especially since it was dark and even Vampire eyes found it difficult to see anything in such pitch blackness. Vampires could hear much more than Humans though, and Kain knew not only to listen for the sound of snapped twigs but the volume of the tread to understand whether it was a person or an animal, he knew to track the gait of footsteps to know their trajectory. So far he could sense nothing out of the ordinary… except that _extra-_sensory ability gut feeling which alerted him to the fact that he was definitely not alone. He was being watched.

He slowed to a stop.

Then he walked slowly with his arms by his sides, deliberately calming himself. He had to make it back to Aidou. Right then he couldn't bear the thought of Aidou being alone with these eyes on him. Even though he was walking with his hands in clear view of the watchers so they could see he was unarmed, a close observer might notice his hands curled with the palms facing inwards and the seams between the fingers glowed. Cradled in each hand was a small flame.

Kain opened his mouth slightly to open himself to more smells, letting the scents swirl and collect on his tongue. He smelt a family of pheasants roosting nearby, decomposing excrement drifting from where the guards were too lazy to find restrooms, and something coming towards him… something fresh like… _artificial herbs?_ A weird combination that didn't make sense. It was an herby, heady smell, but it had an underlying sweetness, like medicine or chemicals.

Aidou.

"-Kat! Did you-"

He peeled open his eyelids, not knowing when he'd closed them, and found himself facing Aidou, who was wide-eyed like he'd seen a ghost.

"What? What did y-"

But then he smelt it too, and on _Aidou_. Smoke and tar. Aidou showed him a scrap of black, greasy cloth and squeezed it between his fingers.

"They have torches, like a medieval riot," Aidou deduced, lifting it to his nose, "It was warm when I picked it up, which means they're still around here, very close,"

"Hana," Kain whispered, dipping his head close to his ear, "I think they're watching us right now,"

Only the few millimetres Aidou moved closer to him indicated a reaction, otherwise he was emotionless as a rock. "How many do you think?"

That was difficult to estimate. The snapping of twigs had increased in frequency since he'd returned to Aidou, which meant that their stalkers knew that _they _knew they were surrounded, and now they could reveal themselves without worry. They had to be a large group number or mightily strong to have that confidence.

"Twenty at the least," Aidou whispered before Kain could, "Probably more," they were on the same wavelength then. Kain shut his eyes. They were hugely outnumbered, and quite obviously not welcome. Right then it was like they were fresh meat with a pack of hungry wolves breathing down their necks.

Even Vampires don't like wolves.

"Be quiet,"

Aidou made a small noise of confusion, but Kain didn't have time to – he was trying to find the right opening for them. With numbers against them and the enemy frighteningly confident, all they could hope to do was escape this with their lives. The tension in the air was so electric, sweat was dripping from his temples as he waited for just the right time. They had only one chance, and then it would be a race at best, a Hunt at worst. But just as he was readying himself to run, grabbing Aidou's wrists so tightly he could feel his pulse –

A voice shouted,

"Wait!"

And they all instantly stopped what they were doing – Kain and Aidou too, but what were most terrifying was the scores of people that suddenly stepped out of the darkness. More than twenty, at least fifty people appeared. They wouldn't have stood a chance. But it was the person who came stumbling through the sea of motionless figures who caught their ultimate attention.

"Takuma?" Aidou gasped out from behind. His redheaded shadow also poked his head out of the crowd. "And _you. _What are you doing with _them_?"

"We aren't here to fight," Takuma explained, glancing over his shoulder at the masses. One person, the indistinguishable leader, nodded. "None of us are here to fight," There was a wave of relief that ran through all of them as the weapons were put away. Takuma turned his calm, cool-as-a-cucumber green eyes to them. "We all just a bit confused,"

Apparently the other team must have done more work than Aidou and he, since they'd already struck up a _friendship _with Sara's lot, much to Kain's disbelief.

He folded his arms, "Explain,"

Takuma did. For Shiki and him, their destination took them to the actual campsite of Sara's followers, much to their surprise. They found many people, but none trained like soldiers. They were just _people. _Civilians who had followed their Pureblood across the seas, as per her request. They merely followed at Sara's insistence, and she had told them to be prepared for the move to be long-term if not permanent, so they packed up their homes on wheels. It puzzled them, the randomness of it and lack of information, but who were they to question things? They travelled behind her by a week, and it was this delay which allowed them to eventually separate from Sara, after they came across the barracks.

It came across their path, and they'd planned on resting there for the night.

But what they'd found… Takuma shook his head solemnly.

"It's already too late, we can't stop her,"

"Stop who? Sara? What's going on?"

The first thing the Europeans noticed upon arriving at the barracks was the _silence._ Surely there should be much more noise. But it was deadly silent.

And the wind changed direction.

And then gales of putrid air almost drove them away. The stench of dried blood, guts and rotting flesh was beyond vile. A few ventured inside and found a bloody _massacre_. The bodies were so wrecked that they couldn't tell what bodies were of what race and how many there actually were.

To see such a thing… they were horrified. They felt betrayed. They'd always known Sara to be someone who did anything to get what she wanted, but this was – this was completely unacceptable –

"But we were told that Sara _aided_ us under _another's_ attack," Kain argued.

"We were wrong,"

Sara had never intended to _aide _them at all. It was all a scam. Her intentions, as always, were to make herself the Queen of the Vampires. To do this, she had already taken the side she thought had the best chance of winning. She'd already chosen_ Rido_, as her champion. But they hadn't known this. She'd disguised herself as a potential ally to gain access to the Castle and was welcomed gladly. The deal with the barracks was simply to determine the strength of their forces. A little practise. Those barracks were their second line of defence, and now they were gone – _not all gone_, the Europeans' leader interjected.

"You mean there _are _survivors?"

Some, only a few, were found hiding at the very back of the caverns. They told them those who were still conscious had not returned to the Castle because they weren't prepared to abandon the others who could not defend themselves. They'd stayed, waiting. They'd watched Sara's troops march on to the Castle, unable to stop them. They'd watched her messenger go to tell to Kaname's people a lie, unable to do a thing.

This was when these people before them decided it was time…

"…to rebel," Takuma gripped his katana hilt tightly, "So they brought our survivors with them, and–"

"Wait," Kain turned to the leader, "Did you happen to see a – a white-haired Hunter at the barracks? He was sent there straight after the message was received. A girl was with him," he held a hand up level to indicate Rima's height at his sternum.

The leader… shook his head, but not as confidently as Kain wanted.

"Are you sure? We've been looking for him," well, Kaito was gonna be _pissed, _and Zero –

A couple from the barracks were still in the group, and they stepped forwards uncertainly.

"There was this boy," the woman said slowly. "He was the last thing I saw, really, before I blacked out. And I think there was a girl too,"

"Did they stay? Did they go? Tell me," Kain pressed impatiently – much to his surprise, Aidou placed a warning hand on his elbow in a reversal of nearly every time he'd had to do the same for _Aidou_.

"They left," the other woman said definitely, "They looked around the place, but not as thoroughly as these people have. I think, because there were only two of them, and they saw everyone dead… they didn't know if it was all over or not. I don't blame them. I didn't even call out to them for help,"

Kain nodded grimly. If Ichiru and Rima had dug around a bit more they could have found these people, but there was no way they'd have been able to help them. Nonetheless… it didn't make sense that they hadn't returned to the Castle yet to report the massacre. Where _were _they? Where could they have gone?

"Do you know where they went?"

The first woman opened her mouth but shut it quickly, and the second looked uneasy.

"They stayed near the mouth of the cave so I couldn't hear very well, but they said something about the Castle. I'm pretty sure they wanted to go back,"

"But where _are _they?" Kain growled, clenching his jaw. Aidou pinched him again, this time with a look that said: _We're worried too, but you have to calm down._

"This isn't all of Sara's people, Kain," Takuma interrupted, clenching his jaw, "And I have a feeling I know where they are,"

After rescuing survivors, the rebels decided that they could use Sara's plan _against her. _She was expecting them to support her later when she called upon them, but instead she'd be in for a shock. She hadn't a clue how many she'd left behind her – and how many they were, now ready to usurp her. The rebels decided to split up in groups and position themselves _around _her, all along the border. They didn't have access to the Kingdom, but that didn't stop them from waiting outside for her to show.

The minute she stepped outside, they'd have her. She would not escape.

Now that this was all revealed, Kain had no idea what to do.

"So…" he stared at Takuma, pushing responsibility onto his capable shoulders. Takuma chewed on his lip.

"We can leave these guys to keep things stable around here," Takuma told him, "And we must tell Kaname what's going on, but without provoking him,"

"What? We should just tell Kaname and get him to kick her out,"

"Are you stupid?" Aidou snapped – and _that_ was what Kain had been missing, that _snarky _little attitude – but then he dropped his hand from his elbow, and suddenly Kain felt a lot colder. "This is a very delicate situation. Sara is already on the _inside_. She could have already done a million things right under our nose which we don't know about. She is a _ticking time bomb_. If she realises her cover's blown, she can create a whole lot of damage – and the fact that she's in the Castle is all the worse. She is literally has us by the _throat_,"

"Zero's there," Shiki muttered. Kain cursed.

The only upside to this little situation was that they'd managed to get away with what they would've gained from Sara's alliance – what they wanted – her people on their side. And she had _no idea _about any of this. He tried to forget the fact that no matter how many they had now, it was highly likely Rido's army of Es would still heavily outnumber them.

"So what do we do?" he asked weakly. "How can we stop her?"

"We can't. That's all up to Kaname," Takuma answered, "You don't dare mess with affairs of the gods,"

"An army against a Pureblood, how will that go down?" Kain peered around them. There had to be at least five hundred rebels, right? But the power of a Pureblood, especially the Pureblood that once handled these rebels – was still greater, and easily capable of ruining them. It was true – Purebloods in the Vampire world were more gods than Kings.

Aidou murmured, "I guess we wait for her to get fed up of getting nowhere with him, and then she'll leave,"

"But what will she do in the meantime? Huh?" Shiki interjected, "Especially with her having so many spies about. She might already know that she's compromised and be waiting to blow us up,"

"Kain," Aidou whispered at his side again, looking up at him like he was about to shatter. Even though Aidou was so much _smaller _than him, he couldn't help but think he was definitely stronger. But after all this avoidance, Kain also couldn't help but feel a little bitter.

"Don't," he jerked away, turning instead to Takuma and pretending not to see him gape at his actions. "Shall we make a move, then?" and preamble he headed back to the Castle, Aidou trotting at his heels.

Shiki watched them go with a heavy sigh, wishing they'd just _talk_ already. He shared a sad smile with Takuma, thankful that they, at least, were fine.

"Sir,"

He turned, finding the woman at his side. She twisted her sleeve anxiously.

"I didn't say before, because we it sounded silly to us, but I thought, perhaps it meant something," she babbled, "But when we saw the white-haired Hunter – I remember, I mean I was on the verge of passing out the time – but I saw something else. Something else happened, but I didn't know if it was real, or my eyes playing tricks on me,"

Takuma frowned, "What did you see?"

"The girl had already left, but the boy stayed behind for a little while more," she swallowed nervously, "And he. I swear he was talking to somebody, but nobody was _there_. And then he left, but…" she hesitated.

"Go on," he urged.

"There was this… _figure _standing where he'd been standing. I didn't get a good look at it, because everything was so _blurry_. But it was glowing, and it changed shape,"

"Changed to what?" Takuma asked doubtfully, trying to keep the tone of scepticism out of his voice, because she was being _genuine. _There was no hint of a joke in her eyes.

"I don't know, but it was big and... and then… it bolted," she smiled weakly, "That's all I remember. It was… so bizarre. I was sure I was dreaming. But I thought, given the things we've all seen, it _could_ have been real," only then did Takuma realise that she was Human, not even a Hunter. Magic for her must be really, _really _bizarre.

"Where did it go?"

"I'm not sure," she shrugged, "It moved so fast,"

"Thank you," he nodded, "It could be helpful, you never know," He placed a hand on his mate's back and guided them away, "Let's go," he muttered, grinning at the almost unnoticeable shiver that travelled all the way down Shiki's body, simply from his breath on his neck. At least if it all went to hell, he could hold onto Shiki. And that was the best comfort he could ever ask for.

* * *

><p>Zero couldn't help it. All the time – every attempt, he froze at the point where he was visualising what he hated about Kaname. He was coming up blank. He was supposed to be drawing on the jealousy he'd felt from him taking Yuuki from him, but that was <em>old <em>hate, and it was like trying to fit into old shoes or rekindling fire from dead ashes. They just didn't fit anymore, and the coals were cold. He knew it was pointless to try. This was a dead end.

Isaya wasn't watching him anymore, looking somewhere far-off, slumped in his seat like he'd given up on Zero too.

"I need a break,"

"Take one then. You're not getting anywhere," Isaya sniped without turning to look at him.

Zero scowled, "That was like, eight hours in freaky-plant-tunnel time,"

"And?"

"Barely a millimetre," he sighed, thinking about the farthest he'd managed – which was the last time. At least he was getting _closer_, not farther away from his target. Funnily enough, on the last attempt he was sure he'd been much more distracted than before, because he was getting tired and couldn't it when his mind wandered.

He'd thought about Kaname lately, how he was becoming mortal and suited the haggard appearance surprisingly well. Rugged good looks, he thought it was called. But then he remembered, it was because of _him _that Kaname was dealing with all these new bodily problems – like needing sleep, suffering exhaustion and probably so many other thing he hadn't considered. It was because of him.

Then he pondered how dishevelled Sara had left him, with his tie askew and hair messed up… and how seeing him that way left Zero with curious stomach ache. Kaname looking tired was fine, humanising even. But Kaname looking so ravaged was wrong. It was like seeing a turtle without a shell. Kaname was _pristine_, always, that was how he remembered Kaname even from the first time he'd met him as a child.

Seeing him like _that_ also reminded Zero of the goddamn _dream _he'd had before. It was still vivid in his mind. He hoped Isaya couldn't hear his heart racing at the thought, or that he couldn't _see _his thoughts, his _dreams_. That would be awkward.

Isaya's mind was kept safely outside his this time. But, since he was such an expressive guy, Zero supposed, he couldn't help but overhear that tempestuous sea of love and longing. Constant as the sea, that's what he was. Ever-changing but always the same, with the same mix of pain hurtling through his veins and same love resonating through it all.

He was right – what he said about Zero about "craving" this.

Zero greedily latched onto that thread and imagined it for him -

"Try being more subtle about it, please,"

"A – what?" his head snapped to Isaya, who was surprisingly staring back at him grumpily. Zero knew he'd been caught with his hand in the proverbial cookie-jar. Isaya knew what he'd been doing. Heck, of _course _Isaya knew what he'd been doing. Crap. "Sorry?"

"Exactly," Isaya grumbled.

"Sorry,"

"Don't apologise for what you're not sorry for," Isaya lectured sternly, picking dirt from his nails, "Always make sure the feeling is genuine," his eyes flickered to the pergola gate, implying something else.

"Are you suggesting I 'feel from the heart'?" Zero sneered, rolling his eyes when Isaya grunted. "That's redundant. Feeling _has _to come from the heart,"

"But you never let your heart rule you, do you?"

The words stalled him for a few seconds, because they were so _true. _Unerringly true. Zero glanced at the pergola wonderingly. His skin was littered with scratches from the thorns. Those thorns were always snagging on him, holding him back – like his control, he supposed. He wanted to control what he thought, what he felt. If he just _let go_ – if he ran into that pergola right now, without thinking, only feeling… would he notice the thorns? Probably not.

"It's always your mind. You've been holding back on what you're really feeling. It's time to let go,"

He turned back slowly, "What do you _mean_ by that?"

"You're stopping yourself every time you get a bit closer, because you're afraid of what you might find," Isaya said, watching as Zero took in these words, puffing up in anger and deflating from his truth, "You let go, just a little, but then you pull back because you don't want to go there. You're scared of what might be revealed-"

"It's because I'm getting _distracted_," Zero argued, "That's _all_ I'm trying to prevent. I can't be distracted. Not now,"

"Don't lie to me, Isamu, when I know how you _feel_," Isaya was leaning over Zero now, towering over him really, and he shivered back in fright. His eyes were hard, but passionate, and so raw that he was made uncomfortable by it. "There's this _hunger _inside you that you can't sate. You long for him, and I cannot understand what is keeping you from him, but it's probably your pride,"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Those thoughts aren't distractions, they're real. They're _you_. They're what you _want_,"

"Stop it – shut up," Zero bit out, paling in fright. What was he saying? That he _wanted_ Kaname? That his spontaneous thoughts were – were – "Why would you say that? _How _can you say that?"

"Juri will accept nothing but the truth. What do you really want, Isamu?"

"I want you to stop calling me that!" he screeched, shoving Isaya away so he almost tumbled into the pond. He leapt to his feet, _incensed, _"Listen to me – what I want is for you to snap out of the delusion that I am someone who is _dead _and never coming _back_!"

"But what angers you the most, Zero? What's driving you crazy?"

"_Kaname!"_ he wanted to shout, but it came out more like a sob. He touched his throat, feeling it flex in laboured breaths. In the end, it was _Kaname _that was driving him mad. He couldn't stop thinking about him – whether in worry or pure obsession. Overall it was worry though, he realised, because he couldn't stop worrying over how much Kaname was sacrificing for this war, and how much it mattered to him. He'd already given so much, but now he had to give his body too, to this wench? It was probably nothing after some of the things Kaname had had to do, but it was poignant to him – it really showed Zero what Kaname was prepared to dofor them. It made him so angry, he could barely contain it. Kaname shouldn't have to do this. For all the time he'd been Kaname's enemy, only now as his friend did he see the lengths to which he went to protect his friends, and how much he gave for those who wouldn't even know.

"Doesn't it bother you?" he closed his eyes and swallowed another lump in his throat, "We're basically… whoringKaname out to that – to _her_, and – hasn't he done enough already?" he opened his eyes to see Isaya's pained face reflecting everything he felt too, "That's what I can't stop thinking about. It's just not fair,"

"I know," Isaya said softly, "But understand that he is prepared to go to these lengths for you. He'll do anything for you,"

"For everyone," Zero corrected, reminding himself that Isaya had skilfully dodged his request and was still maintaining that he was Isamu, and he shouldn't mix that up with what was _real. _

"I want you to imagine that your emotions are colours,"

"Eh?" he watched Isaya stand and take his elbow and direct him to the pergola again.

"Think of them as colours, and then when you try again, try it like this," he released his arm, "Focus on your whatever experience you're using, but pretend that you're painting it on a canvas. When you're done I want you to look at all the colours. Recognise them. identify them. Even if you don't make it to the end, this time I want you to come out and tell me exactly which emotion is the most significant one, okay?"

Zero was shoved into the pergola, and this time he just _ran_. He ran blindly, letting the past fill his mind and flash through him like a movie reel. But this time he slowed it all down and pretended to _paint _it, mentally laughing at himself as he did. He tried to pinpoint the most pivotal scene, when again he was thwarted by his distractions –

This time he didn't fight them.

His mind painted the picture of Kaname – a mix of Kaname's – from Isamu's time when he was in the period dress, slightly thinner and rougher than he was today. This image blended into the Kaname he'd met as a child – encased in the descendent Kaname's body, but with that recognisable darkness in his eyes that spoke of a truly ancient soul. Then he aged into adulthood, into _now. _The clean-cut, well-dressed, impeccably neat man he had despised at one point, and at first he painted him with an irritating haughty expression, like he'd always seen him to have. Then, nothing but his face changed – softened and warmed with a smile, he became his friend. Finally his smile became taut and his appearance unkempt, and the blood smeared on his lips and his eyes were slightly haunted –

_Enough_. He stopped painting and stared down at the brush, seeing the colour drip from the tip. Acid-yellow.

Even though it didn't fit the convention, he knew it was jealousy. Worse than _green _with envy, it seethed with acerbic rage. He hadn't recognised the feeling at first, but he balked when he realised it mostly came to him when he thought about Sara and Kaname.

Was this what Isaya meant when he said he was afraid of what he might find?

Zero tore out of the place, past Isaya, and ran and ran and _ran. _He didn't want to share this with him. He didn't want anyone to know what he felt, because it was like being hit with something he'd known all this time – like being whacked in the face with his own fist. He didn't dare venture into what this jealousy implied. It was wrong. He must be reading things wrong.

He almost crashed into a servant, but luckily managed to dive into the shadows just in time.

Because, rounding the corner right at that moment were Kaname and Sara. Zero held his breath. He wasn't noticed, and they drifted right by him, too lost in each other. There they were, looking all perfect and… perfectly happy. He'd never thought about it this way, but maybe…

Maybe Kaname… _wanted _this. Maybe Kaname was actually happy with Sara.

The notion was strange to him only because he'd never considered it, but it suddenly made so much sense. Did it make it better, knowing that Kaname wasn't forcing himself into this? Maybe he _enjoyed_ her company.

She was very pretty, and they were both talking and smiling. These jealous thoughts. He'd reached inside himself and unleashed a monster. He was seeing everything through acid-yellow glasses now, so everything looked _nauseatin_g

Jealousy sunk like cement to his stomach, with defeat mixed in there too. Bearing heavier and heavier on his soul, and harder to ignore than ever.

He ran to the room and slammed Kaname's door shut, leaning on it for support. Everything in his body was trembling, clenched tight. His eyes screwed shut, his fingers squeezed, and something delicate was being crushed in his palm. Something silky soft. Zero lifted it to his nose, already half-guessing what it was – rose petals. Yes. So he'd almost made it to Juri's garden. But he'd only got close enough to snatch petals, not flowers – he still wasn't there yet. Because he was scared. And now he was more scared, because of his reaction to Kaname and Sara. What did jealousy mean anymore if he was jealous of _them?_

He was a coward.

Zero slumped down onto the floor and buried his head into his hands. _Holy. Shit._ He was way in over his head. He was shaking violently. He _hated _that he now knew what emotion Juri wanted – the ugliest of all emotions – jealousy. And if that wasn't bad enough, it still wasn't enough. What _more _could she want? What more could he give?

Did he have to… did Juri want him to… what the _hell_ did this mean?

What did he have to _do?_

"Isamu?"

_That name_. Right when he was already reeling with too many things and he was just a mess, did _that name _have any right in messing with his head? Isaya knocked on the door, calling again. Zero told him to fuck off and hid in his arms. Isamu. Maybe _that_ was a sign – maybe _Zero_ wasn't good enough. Maybe they were wasting their time with him.

Isamu was better than him, in all ways. Always had been. He was Kaname's first love. He was the first Hunter, with purer values than Zero – who had sacrificed himself in the conflict with Katsuo (Zero could tell from the Memories that despite what guilt Kaname felt, Isamu had given him his blood willingly) and given his heart to one person only. Compared to him, Zero was a disgrace. He was sure Isamu could have accomplished his task by now.

"Zero?"

He jumped. Jolted out of his depressed thoughts, he perked up at his name. _His _name.

"Zero, are you in there?"

It was Kaname's voice. Ironic, wasn't it? He'd just been thinking – and then –

Zero laughed brokenly, twisting his head to the side so his cheek was against the door.

"Aren't you busy?" he wondered how Kaname had escaped Sara and what he'd said. He always turned up when Zero needed him. Was it the Bond? He frowned at how long Kaname was taking to reply.

The silence was easy though, lighter than his previous thoughts. He'd liked it when Kaname said his name. It reminded him of who he was. _Zero._

"Zero," _yes, _"Isaya told me you wouldn't let him in. He's worried about you. He said you just took off,"

Zero rolled his head to the other side. It was heavy. Too full of these troublesome emotions and _feelings_, goddamnit. He slid Bloody Rose out of his waistband and fiddled with the gun to distract himself. He continued crushing the rose petals in his other hand till they were pulp.

"Was it Isaya? Did he do something again?" there was an edge of anger leaking into his tone, but Kaname was keeping as calm as possible. Zero could imagine the wary expression on his face, his gaze practically burning a hole through the door to Zero. Was he worried about him? More softly, he said, "Are you feeling alright? I'm worried about you. Can you let me in please?"

Why couldn't he come in himself? He was a Pureblood. Those fuckers did whatever they damn well pleased. Zero was drowning under the stress, so much that he was even cussing in his thoughts. Lovely.

"I can't come in because you're right _there_, you might get hurt,"

Shit, was Kaname reading his mind?

Without knowing how he got there, Zero found himself with the door open and 'Rose pressed to Kaname's jaw, his other hand clutching his throat. He granted that Kaname didn't even stutter, but his eyes were wide in equal surprise. Then Zero recalled why he was so lit with fury.

"You're reading my _mind_?" he grit his teeth, "_You're reading my mind?_ You promised you wouldn't do that!"

"I told you before, sometimes I can't help it! It isn't something you can control. It's like any other sense," Kaname touched the back of his hand, but didn't push him away, "Like smelling or seeing… I can't help it, Zero. Just like you can't help but smell the people you pass by, I can't help but skim by people's thoughts,"

"Bullshit. Do you think you can just poke your nose into anyone's business whenever you like? How _dare_ you," Zero knew he was overreacting now, but he was just terrified of Kaname seeing his mind and everything in it_._ He would never live it down. So he lashed out."Just because you can do something doesn't mean you should _do it_!"

Kaname's mouth twisted down, inexplicably hurt by what he'd said. Oh god, what a thing to say… and he pressed himself against the gun, wrapping his fingers around Zero's so he couldn't let go. Zero's eyes were drawn to where it dug into Kaname's skin. He was sure it was digging in hard enough to bruise, but Kaname didn't even flinch.

"Zero, I have wronged you in many ways, but you can _trust _me," his actions spoke in loud volume how much he trusted Zero. One draw on his finger and Kaname was dead.

Zero shook himself out of his daze, and dared to press the gun _harder _so it was certain to leave a mark.

"You didn't answer my question, do you read people's minds whenever you like?"

"Zero…" The repetition of his name as well, seemed suspicious in light of things. Was Kaname acting on what he knew Zero wanted? Kaname sighed despairingly, seeing Zero couldn't be moved. "Sometimes. Sometimes when I have to,"

"And have you ever read mine? Apart from now?" his voice wavered. Kaname was avoiding his gaze now, making something else in Zero quake. Perhaps it was the foundations of their friendship. But no – more likely it was his trust in Kaname _completely_.

"I don't… I don't _read _your mind, Zero," he said quietly, "I don't need to do that,"


	95. Save Me From

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**DUDES. XD**

**First of all - hi! Sorry this has taken so long. **

**And now with the rant:**

**To those who can't cope with reading this anymore, the solution is very simple = **_**stop**_** reading it. XD Unsubscribe me, I don't mind! But know that I'm writing this at my own pace because I've been told to. Please don't review me just to tell me to hurry it up – that it's taking too long, or you're so fed up with it. I've told you before, this is a slow-**_**slow-build**_** romance. Just look at the length of it – and it's not finished yet. **

**If you've given up on me – please don't ruin it for the others – and don't ruin it for **_**me **_**by rushing me, goddamnit**_**. **_**(LOL. That was rude.) When I read these types of reviews they stop me in my tracks. I start to doubt my writing style, I start re-evaluating my plot and – I lose confidence. I can't shake 'em, especially when I've got this far, and it's too late to turn back on so many choices I've made. Am I writing this wrong – am I losing you?**

**Finding the confidence to publish each chapter is harder and harder as we approach the finish-line. I'm scared that I'm losing the drive to carry this forwards, that I won't succeed in ending it well. I don't want to disappoint anyone. I'm not a professional writer, I write for pleasure, but recently it's become difficult to find enjoyment in writing when I get reviews telling me I'm letting you down and I want to fix it, but at the same time I don't want to have to change my story just to please you because - I can't _cope, _guys. Sometimes I'm questioning whether all of this is _worth _this stress.**

**I just want to explain to you that for me, comments like these aren't helpful to my writing. You're free to express your opinions, but think about the impact it will have and whether voicing your frustration will actually help you or make things worse. Criticism is welcome here, but _constructive _criticism is actually _useful._ I always appreciate your comments, I am _overwhelmed_ by your compliments and your support, and I love reading your suggestions. I take everything to heart, which is the main problem. The relationship between reader and writer needs to be motivational, encouraging and supportive. So I need you to give me a little help here.**

**I'm **_**trying. **_**I'm **_**committed **_**to finishing this story, and finishing it well. I'm not going to rush because then it **_**will**_** end up shit, and all this will have been for nothing. You deserve better than that. Now that I've said this, it's probably gonna be a major let-down (FAIL), but I promise you that I'm putting all my heart into delivering this story the best way I can, and I hope you can appreciate that. **

**To a person I shall not name, if you're still reading this - please don't insult Hino-sensei's characters. I'm sorry if you think I'm depicting Zero to be a "stupid ignorant ass", but I'm only writing Zero as I see him – ****stubborn, ignorant to affection, stupid in love and very grumpy :-)**

**And also, IMO, my side-plots are just as important as Kaname and Zero's relationship are, because… well, they just **_**are**_**, really.**

**I'm glad that even after all this time there are people who still enjoy his - you are the ones I write this for. Thank you from the top and bottom of my heart. Thank you for giving me the confidence to keep writing, thank you everyone. Thank you for your kindness and support :)**

**And now I'm done with ranting (sorry for this), ONWARDS my lovelies! Oh, and I should also mention that… **

…**this chapter has **_**KISSING**_** in it…**

(ooooooh) **HELL YEAH. ABOUT TIME.** _I know, I know...__  
><em>

**Between Kaname and – **

**DUN DUN **_**DUUUUN**_

_**Peace, everyone**_

**love y'all**

**puui x**

* * *

><p><em><strong>"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong."<br>****"Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it."**_

**~ Mohandas Gandhi**

**_"True love begins when nothing is looked for in return."_  
>~Antoine De Saint-Exupery<strong>

* * *

><p>"Has anyone told you that you think too much?"<p>

The question caught him by surprise, but it was too similar to what Isaya had said for Zero not to be suspicious. He didn't ease up pressure on the gun, in fact he jammed it a little harder to his jaw when Kaname started _grinning_ infectiously, out of the blue.

"Or rather, you think too loudly. It's one of the first things I noticed about you. I remember thinking that – god, you were so _bright_, so eager to know the world. I couldn't resist your mind any more than I can resist gravity. It pulled me in, and when I was seeing the world through your eyes suddenly everything became so _beautiful_, so magical and new. It was impossible to resist such beauty – I couldn't stop myself – regularly I went into your mind to remind myself that there is good in this world. When I was all alone, when I was shunned and didn't know how to face others_, _I had _you. _I would sneak into your mind to remember what kindness felt like, and warmth and compassion. You gave me hope, faith in the people who hated me. I learnt compassion and gratitude, and not to take life for granted from _you_, from a child.

"After a time though, I realised how immoral my habit was becoming – I was using your mind as a haven without your permission – I could have _hurt _you. I was disgusted by myself, and what I was doing, so I stopped it. And I never did it again," Kaname pushed the gun down with his chin to look at Zero in earnest, "But your mind remained open to me. A connection was accidentally made, like a door between our minds left _permanently_ open,"

…_Playing around with the mind is always __**permanent**__. You cannot fix anything… once it's done…_

"Whenever I am near you, it… calls to me. I try my best to resist it, but… when it calls your name, over and over, when it reaches for your soul… Zero, it takes all my willpower to resist, and even then sometimes I _can't_. I'm not proud of it, but I can't bear to leave you alone. That, and also… I've never felt as at home anyplace else,"

Zero couldn't help but see the similarities of what Kaname was saying to his own experience of being cradled in Kaname's mind before, after Isaya's accident. How comfortable being there had been…

"What Isaya said before about you craving another's mind, that's _my_ fault," he confessed, "It was me who left behind that void. I've been blaming Isaya all this time for taking advantage of you when it was me. I was being angry at _myself_,"

"Please tell me you're lying," Zero's voice shook. He was horrified to hear about Kaname's doings… being told that his mind was bright and beautiful… well, it made him feel... god, it made him _feel _so… damn it! Why couldn't anything be simple with Kaname? Why did he have to make Zero so conflicted all the time? Violated and flattered were two feelings definitely not meant to be felt together. He squeezed Kaname's throat, "You're lying. You _always_ lie,"

Kaname swallowed against his fingers, causing them to clench convulsively. Still, he spoke clearly, and so sincerely at Zero that it was not easy for to not be moved.

"Often, and to many, yes. But never to you. Not now, not ever,"

He wanted so much to trust him, but when his judgement was already skewed, when his defences against Kaname were weak at best, how could he know for sure that he wasn't being fed more lies? He put the gun away in any case. Both of them knew it was never going to happen anyway. Zero remembered the days when that wouldn't have been as much of a certainty and an opportunity like this wouldn't have been wasted. This prospect made his hands tremble.

"Zero," Kaname insisted, "I'm_ not _lying,"

"You keep things from me," he argued back feebly, his hands tightening into fists, "Why are you always keeping things from me? Don't I deserve to know as much as you do – especially when most of your secrets happen to be about _me_?"

Kaname bit his lip, "That's not…" he hesitated briefly, "I only keep – that's technically _not '_lying'-"

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Zero practically yelled, moving to put the whole length of the room between them. Even that wasn't far enough. "That's_," _he was in _Kaname's room, _cornered. There was no escape from him. Not in this mind, not in this world. "That's no excuse. You can't censor _my_ _life_. How _dare _you assume you have that right. Either you tell me the truth or leave me alone from now on – I'm sick of this! I'm sick of _you_!"

Kaname's face fell, but Zero was unwilling to let it affect him. He hated Kaname for getting under his skin. Hurting him was like hurting himself now. But no matter how much Zero might like Kaname now, he was still so full of shit sometimes that hurting him was worth the pain.

"Zero…" Zero shook his head. He backed up to maintain the distance between them. He wouldn't stand for this – he _couldn't_ afford to sympathise with Kaname, because then he'd give into him. There was no question of if he should or could, he would _always _forgive him. He knew that now and it was frightening, because how much would he let Kaname get away with then?

It was completely an accident when he backed up to the place with the knot on the wall – the tiny rose insignia that dug into his shoulder. He was immediately struck by the idea, and before he could change his mind he was twisting the rose and the panel dropped behind him, knocking the air right out of his lungs as he fell through it, blowing right into Kaname's startled face.

Zero tore his eyes away from Kaname's dismayed face, diving into the tower. He could imagine how Kaname felt now – terrified, _violated_, like he was – with malicious delight. _Good_, he thought viciously, _a taste of his own medicine_. Kaname's footsteps were not one step behind him.

"Do you even know how way off-base you are?" he threw his arms out, "This – _this_ is what it feels like. You bloody Pureblooded bastards have _no regard _for privacy or boundaries. So this is what it's like, you smarmy piece of – _this_ is what it's like,"

Kaname's mouth dropped open but no words came out. Zero was panting from his tirade, fuming at the ears. It was only when he saw Kaname's expression as he was looking around, like he was seeing blood on the walls or his worst nightmares brought to life. It was a crack in his usual mask that he couldn't fix, this was Kaname splayed and laid bare and open to his eyes. Unlike Kaname's joy when he'd dug into his mind, Zero gained no pleasure in seeing this. Perhaps because this wasn't the same and he knew it. Maybe because he knew Kaname never meant to harm him with his invasion of privacy, whereas he did – he _had_.

"Zero, wh…?"

Kaname's voice cracked. He didn't even finish the fucking question. Back when Zero first found the tower, he'd been worried Kaname would be angry with him. Truthfully, he'd thought Kaname would _kill_ him for exposing him. But this all proved he didn't know Kaname that well yet, he was still knew to the side of Kaname that was vulnerable, who could be hurt by mere words and the truth, just like anyone else – just like himself. He'd done this to this man. He'd _hurt_ Kaname just to make himself feel better.

He felt sick.

Jealousy wasn't the monster, _he _was.

Kaname shut his eyes and took a few deep breaths. In that time he somehow managed to blink back his sorrow and slap his blank mask back on. The ease in which he did this was startling and disturbing to Zero.

"I never meant to keep this from you. I only wanted to protect it from the world. It's meant for _us_," he dared to ghost a finger over the side of Zero's face, disarming the last of Zero's anger with his gentle touch, "A place to hide from the world when it becomes too much. I was going to show it to you eventually, but… clearly you found it first,"

"I…" Zero muttered numbly. Why did Kaname always have to be so kind after he'd been so cruel? Was he deliberately trying to make him feel like an ass? No, he wasn't. That was the thing – Kaname was just a genuinely _nice guy. _The more Zero was realising this, the more he could see how flawed his beliefs were. Kaname may be a Pureblood – King of the Vampires, but he wasn't the monster Zero had been taught to believe. _He_ was the monster – him, the ex-_Human_.

It was _him. _This was him – who he really was, and it _disgusted _him.

He was losing control of himself, lashing out and inflicting pain on someone who… who didn't deserve it. Was this really him? If it was, Zero had to fix it. A sniff drew his attention, and when Zero saw those tears spill – before he could rethink it he was pulling Kaname into a _hug._

A _hug. _Zero didn't hug. He didn't know _how _to hug. He could probably count the number of people he'd willingly hugged in his life with one hand and be making a rude hand gesture at the same time. It was awkward until Kaname took over and hugged him back. His arms were folded between them, and Zero was trapped in Kaname's arms, panicking. He spontaneously slid his arms under Kaname's to clasp behind his back, following an impulse to be closer that honestly shocked him. It was much more comfortable, and to prevent their heads knocking he even tucked himself under Kaname's chin. More and more-so, Zero was acting impulsively which _frightened_ him, but it was only ever around Kaname who tolerated his wild moods quite graciously so it was okay. Yeah, even if he was scared by it, Kaname didn't seem to mind (in fact, like this hug, he welcomed him with open arms) so it was, yeah… itwasokay.

Zero closed his eyes. He felt Kaname relax next to him as well, exhaling on a shudder. He marvelled at how he could know Kaname was comforted by his presence and not be embarrassed by it. _I've never felt as at home anyplace else. _

"Your mind is unusually quiet,"

"Mm?" he opened his eyes dazedly.

Kaname whispered fondly into his ear, "What are you thinking about?"

Zero couldn't really come up with a single answer. _Many _things, he thought, _and nothing, both at the same time. _How could he explain _that?_ It was bizarre enough to think that the man who had been in his head the better part of all day was currently in his freaking arms, _hugging _him. Maybe this was why he wasn't thinking of him or anything else anymore – being hugged was distracting. He shrugged. Kaname laughed again.

"You know, I'm thinking about when I first saw you again, after I'd run away from the village,"

Zero blinked slowly, struggling to connect with what Kaname was saying. All he could really focus on was the hand rubbing circles on his back and Kaname's deep voice rumbling against his temple like thunder.

"You were still calling for me in your head, even after all the time we'd been apart-"

Hold on –

"– nothing had changed. Fiveyears aparthadn't changed a thing -"

- Holy crap. Kaname was smiling so brightly, but what the _fuck_ was he saying –

"- between us, and when I slipped in your head, it was as easy as taking your hand,"

Shit – he was getting him mixed up with Isamu again! Zero tilted his head back, pushing against Kaname to get some space between them, but he wouldn't budge. The fact that Kaname – _Kaname _was mistaking him for Isamu, hit him right in the chest. He couldn't believe–

"I was relieved to find everything the same as I'd left it, only a few things had changed, like your wariness of the world setting in. You were learning not to take everything at face value, to not trust everyone you met – these were good things to learn, so I was happy… but then, I found something I didn't expect. It was something I didn't at first understand, because it had taken root a long time ago, so how come I hadn't seen it before? But then, I _knew_," Kaname gushed – softly like a prayer, shining like the Sun – and the fight just _left him_ – "The moment it bloomed in my presence-"

"Kaname," he warned. He didn't like where Kaname was heading with this, but Kaname didn't seem to hear to him.

"- I recognised it, because I'd seen it myself," finally he glanced down at Zero pushing at his chest to no avail. _Stop_, he wanted to say, _please stop – _"Love," he whispered.

No. _No._ This was more than he wanted to know. His skin felt too tight for his body, barely containing everything inside and he could feel Kaname's heart pounding against his own. They would be beating each other if it weren't for the layers of flesh separating them. Suddenly he was too aware of how close they were, how his body was reacting to it, willingly –

He shivered as Kaname brushed a kiss against his jaw, his eyes shuttering briefly from the contact.

Kaname smiled crookedly at him. A quirky, honest smile which had Zero realising exactly how profoundly screwed he was.

His face was overheating, he wanted to scream – Kaname was waiting for his answer, but he didn't know what to say. Kaname didn't look one bit deterred by the lack of response – in fact, he seemed to take it to mean there was no question – the feeling was mutual, on the assumption that –

Zero was someone _else_. He staggered upon the disturbing conundrum – Kaname spoke about the "_village" _and "_five years" _because he thought he was **Isamu**.

Kaname was… he was confessing to him.

The breath whooshed out of him, like all the air in the room had been sucked outand something heavy dropped in his stomach, sinking to the bottom like a stone. Kaname was declaring his love to an empty _room_. To a _memory_. Because Kaname had been in love with Isamu for over _ten thousand _years, and that sort of thing was very likely ingrained into his soul. _He_ might be daft enough to declare his love to a dead ghost, but Zero was even more stupid to presume he'd been confessing to _him_.

To _him_ – to Zero. What a laugh, why would he… what a funny mistake.

The coldness that settled in the pit of his stomach felt very similar to disappointment.

"It's here," Kaname placed his hand over Zero's chest, "Blooming in your heart, like all those years ago," he was _radiant_, oh god, Kaname was _beaming _and it was indescribably beautiful. And it was all for Isamu. Zero shut his eyes, horrified when he could feel the monster crawling up inside him, hungry for what Isamu was meant to receive. It clawed at his inner eyelids, urging him to _look – __**Look at him, look at that face. He's giving it all to you. Take it. Take i-**_no. He couldn't. He wouldn't – "I can't believe-"

"Kaname, _stop_,"

The hand caressing him stalled. Zero opened his eyes wearily, hating that he had to hurt Kaname _again_ to save him from being hurt much worse later on. If he didn't stop this now, he'd just be leading Kaname on. Neither of them would get out of this without being hurt.

"Sorry?" Kaname's smile wavered.

Zero forced disgust into his voice, "It – it isn'twhat you think it is, so _get the fuck off me_!" He shoved against Kaname, this time getting a couple of inches between them. Kaname's forehead wrinkled in confusion – no doubt because he'd never been told he was wrong before.

"You're upset," Kaname stated, taking his hands and folding them gently between his. Zero blew his cheeks out, shaking his head at first, and then nodding reluctantly. "What's the matter? Was I too forward? I didn't mean –"

"No. _No. _Jesus, I need you to stop for a second, okay? _Stop_," Zero stammered, tilting down to stare at their hands. "Look, it's not your fault, okay? I get it," _**I know how much I look like him.**_He glanced up and caught sight of Isamu's chair over Kaname's shoulder and blinked rapidly to dispel the nostalgia it brought that wasn't _his_. _**It must hurt so much.**_"But all that you've said… it's meant for someone else, alright? I think you and I both know that,"

The silence that followed was suffocating. His heart was pounding his ribs like it was trying to escape, as if it was trying to remind him _I'm here, remember __**me?**_ _You're killing me here_, with all the suspense of waiting on Kaname's answer, it was difficult to breathe. He waited a couple more seconds, but was already hardened to his answer by then, prepared to fight Kaname till he _understood… _that he could never be the person he wanted him to be. He felt Kaname huff against his face and looked up in bewilderment at his peeved expression.

"What?" he barked defensively.

The hardened look he was receiving made him squirm in discomfort.

"When will you stop with this –" Kaname leaned in closer and alarm bells started ringing again, but Zero this time didn't possess the strength or the willpower to push him away, "- all this denial, this meaningless doubt," he pushed forwards so the words gusted on his lips, "When will you stop making excuses and listen to what I'm _saying_," He could say the same about him – "Stop running away," and then his mouth was on his and Zero's thoughts _scattered._

It should be disconcerting, because he was completely paralysed, but he was also infinitely calm. He'd done some kissing once, maybe twice in his whole life – the lack of experience due to his lack of interest. So he was shocked when kissing so easily to him, his mouth shifting to accommodate the others with barely a thought, and Kaname's hum of approval causing something to stir inside him. Kaname's eyelashes tickled his cheeks as they fluttered shut. He knew it was rude to stare, but he couldn't close his eyes. He couldn't stop looking Kaname if he tried, he'd never seen a face so close to his own before.

Kissing was nothing more than the press of lips really, and that was certainly not the most noteworthy part of the experience. It was everything _else _about it that fascinated him – that he could see creases and pores – imperfections – in Kaname's face that he'd never see otherwise, and yet he still found him beautiful with them. He was dizzy from blood rushing up and down his body, everything was scorching hot, and god he really, really needed to _breathe_. But he didn't want to. Breathing could wait.

Hands curved over the shells of his ears, around the back of his skull where they met like in prayer, and then the fingers fanned out and dropped onto Zero's shoulders with an urgency that had his toes curling.

Things got out of hand then and yet Zero made no move to stop it. In fact, he was driven by the hands gripping him tightly and tugging him closer and his own hands reached of their own volition for Kaname's hips. Kaname's hands dared to push his shirt up a bit to touch skin and a tremor zipped through his whole body at the contact, instantly raising the temperature. No, he wasn't focused on the kissing part of kissing; he was more interested about how tightly Kaname's fingers were digging into his trembling hips. It was going to bruise.

Only when there was a sharp pain in his tongue and the bitter tang of his own blood did Zero open his eyes again. He saw Kaname look up at him through ridiculously long eyelashes – when exactly did he start noticing the length of Kaname's lashes? – and flushed faintly, pink staining his throat, the sweep of his cheekbones. The taste of blood, that edge of pain mixing with everything else perfect in spite of it being _blood _and… and Zero had never considered himself 'into' pain-pleasure scenarios, but –

But there was _blood_ –

Zero's – Kaname's eyes snapped wide open in – _fear_, in – _surprise_–

Before he could do anything else he was sent flying.

Skidding into the middle of Kaname's room, toes burning on the carpet and him slamming into the bed-frame.

The force of it had him wheezing for air and rubbing his hipbones because he could _feel_ Kaname's hands there_. _His lungs were screaming and his tongue was swelling up and yet why did it _hurt _to be away from Kaname so much more? More than the ache of bruises or his lungs screaming for oxygen, his body lamented Kaname's absence like a flower starved of sunlight. As Kaname moved – staggered – away from him, his head turned with him like a flower after the Sun. Was this what the Bond felt like stretched?

Zero gasped.

Had they completed the Bond… through his _tongue?_

_Seriously?_

That was possibly the most ridiculous thought he'd ever had, and he'd never consider it otherwise, but there were two distinct points of pain on his tongue from Kaname's fangs. That was a Bite. He sucked the blood out and swallowed it with a grimace, tasting something else there too, something sweet. Vampire venom. He shuddered when he met Kaname's gaze again.

The guy had his eyes screwed shut, and he was muttering something under his breath. He staggered over to a chest of drawers, emptied the flowers from a vase, and _gulped down the water_ – holy what the _fuck_ – oh, thankfully, he spat it back out.

He was fighting the Hunger, Zero realised – Kaname was cleansing himself of the taste to resist finishing off his meal – him. Kaname believed he was Isamu so much that his blood must be irresistible to him. He must be terrified of how close he'd come to… to what? Eating him _again_? Looking at Kaname now, it was difficult to believe that was a possibility. He was gargling _flower-water_, for goodness' sake. He had it totally under control. He'd be fang-deep in Zero by now if he hadn't.

Fangs, fangs, back to fangs – were they Bonded or not?

"Kaname," he rasped, drawing his attention immediately, but Kaname kept his distance from him. Zero slumped a little, the ache in his chest was weighing him down. He wanted Kaname closer again, but at the same time he didn't. "Did you Bite me?"

Kaname wiped his lips shakily, his eyes crimson, holding his hand in front of his mouth to hide his teeth. That was what Zero was talking about – Kaname's control. If ever it was broken, his _pride _would step up to stop him doing things he'd regret. And that pride was as _unbreakable _as his will.

"Did I hurt you?" Kaname whispered. Zero shook his head. Kaname let out a relieved sigh. "It was only a small nick, it won't do anything," Zero nodded, rubbing absently at his chest.

Where was the fear? The thought of being Bitten – ever since he'd been Turned, the _idea _of that had always terrified him. Hearing Kaname's dismissal brought no relief because there was no fear there to comfort – the throb in his tongue was the only resulting pain of having Kaname's teeth on him, and even then… it hadn't been so bad.

He got off the bed and strode over to the door, dragging his hands through his hair as he despaired. This made things so much worse – and heck, this time it _was_ Kaname's fault. "I should go," he blurted. His stomach lurched as he staggered to the door, a sickening sensation that had him leaning on the doorframe. Even without looking at him, he knew Kaname was staring at him with wounded eyes, and it wasn't _fair_, "I can't… do this. It's not fair – it's not _right_, and you'll-" he spoke with a rueful grin, "You're gonna regret it. I don't want – trust me when I say we can't do this. And… please try to understand,"

To his surprise, Kaname straightened his back and looked utterly serious, dead confident when he nodded. But he was pretty sure that wasn't the right sort of nod. Zero didn't think he was nodding to _his _request, much to his chagrin, but summoning the conviction he needed to blow Zero's request right out of the water. He was right.

"You kissed me back," Kaname asserted with a righteous gleam in his eye that Zero didn't like at all. He couldn't deny it. And Kaname knew this, the wily bastard. It was like he hadn't even _listened _to a goddamn word he'd just said – he _never_ listened when Zero said something he didn't want to hear. Like many things he was learning about Kaname, he wouldn't let up till Zero agreed with him… so instead he _shrugged_. Kaname grinned like he'd expected that reaction, "Okay," he chirped, "Be like that. Either way," his expression sobered up a little, "From now on you'll need to sleep in this room,"

Whoa, _random_, Zero floundered for a moment.

"_What_," it wasn't even a question. Kaname was laughing with his eyes, "You don't mean in the same bed, do you? Fuck, you _do_, you friggin creeper. I don't believe this – holy shit, is this so you can watch me _sleep_? Kaname!"

"Yes, actuall-"

"- **No fucking **_**way,**_" he spat, "Nooo thank you. In your _dreams_, pal,"

"Zero," Kaname stared at him pointedly. The seconds passed till Zero cottoned on. He cursed. Seriously? His _dreams _were why this was necessary? "Your mind is most suscept-"

"Don't need the frigging textbook, thanks," Zero muttered, "Fine. Alright whatever, I don't care anymore. I'm going now, anyway,"

"To find Isaya?"

He snorted, "_Sure_,"

Kaname looked at him sternly, "You _need_ to find him. Stay close to him now. He knows his boundaries," Zero rolled his eyes, _at least __**he **__knows,_ "And _you _know why you need the protection. Your mind is buzzing, even as we speak," Zero flipped him the bird, "And now, before you go, a kiss-"

"And now a wha–"

Kaname was tugging him in for another kiss before he could blink, and then it was over. It happened so fast.

Not knowing what to do, Zero left. He had no idea where he was going, but he knew he had to get _away_ before Kaname did somethingelse to confuse him. The further away he was from him, the clearer his mind was. That's what he told himself, but the truth was his mind filled _up _with Kaname the further they were apart. It screamed for him. Damn it. He was trying to _not _lead Kaname on, but that was exactly what he was doing, in every way. He was tempting himself too – the kissing had been far better than – than in the Dream (yes, the Dream was far from forgotten). Better than _that_, awakening a passion inside him he hadn't thought existed, and he couldn't stop thinking about –

How it was meant for Isamu. All of it was for _Isamu_.

Isamu was a very lucky dead bastard. He was even luckier he was dead. _No_ – he wouldn't be jealous of a dead guy. That was… weird, and it sounded wildly inappropriate too. What was wrong with him?

He was so consumed in his inner dilemma that he didn't even notice that he was being watched – that _they_ had been watched. And now his stalker emerged from the darkness like a shadow herself, swathed in it, consumed by it.

Anyone looking then would've probably thought that the darkness was _chasing him._

* * *

><p>Zero was drinking cold milk. He'd given up looking for Isaya since the Pureblood was clearly avoiding him. The kitchens were empty, so he took the opportunity to feed himself while no one was about. All the way down to the kitchens the corridors had been completely free of anyone, so he could walk safely in the light for no one to see. The cold milk soothed his tongue, though the taste was slightly coppery and made him a little queasy.<p>

Isaya was probably enjoying being somewhere else instead of being stuck babysitting _him_. The feeling was pretty mutual (he was still annoyed by Isaya's passive-aggressive non-helpfulness) but Kaname was going to be _pissed. _And then he'd have to deal with that later, when he – he shoved down his embarrassment when he remembered that he had to join Kaname in bed tonight. God, that sounded so inappropriate in his head. Bottom-line, it was _not _a big deal.

They'd shared a bed before. Then again, that had been before all these kisses. But –

He caught sight of his reflection in the fridge door –

He looked… ravaged, for lack of a better word. Hair mussed, lips swollen, eyes feverishly bright. He was so _obvious_ it was almost obscene. He wet his fingertips to smooth his hair down till it lay flat and licked his lips, but it made little difference.

Zero drank his fucking milk. He ignored his burning face and scrubbed his sweat with a kitchen towel. The anger in his actions reminded him he should be _angry, _because _fuck this shit. _Whenever Zero was faced with emotions he didn't understand, he converted them into anger, because he at least knew how to deal with that.

Unfortunately, anger revived the beast inside him like blowing on hot coals, and it marred his vision. His obvious scapegoat was – Zero glanced at the fridge door again – _Isamu. _That dead boy who looked like him so much and was messing with his head, making him feel guilty for things he hadn't done, and want things he couldn't _have_. He glowered at his own reflection, fingers curling around the glass till it began to creak. Frigging nuisance. He gulped down the rest and stood, deciding it was time to hunt Isaya down and drag him back to the gardens. Back to business to get his mind off things.

But the kitchen door swung open before he could duck behind the counter, and it revealed –

"_Yuuki_?"

She smiled and went to sit on the counter next to him. Zero was taken aback by her sudden appearance. He hadn't properly spoken to her for almost year now, ever since her Vampire initiation. But she was snuggling into his space, and he instinctively put an arm around her. After so many years, it was still automatic, and something about that was calming.

Sweet Yuuki. She always knew what to do to make him feel better, even now. Her presence was a balm that calmed the raging monster trapped inside him (He was concerned with how easily it was getting riled up, more easily with less needed to trigger it). Without realising it, Yuuki prevented Zero from _exploding_. He had to admit, after a year of being apart, he'd expected it to be more awkward than this, but her presence was nothing but welcoming. Zero tentatively ducked his head onto her shoulder, remembering how to hug from before-

_Her shoulders were definitely smaller. He didn't quite fit there, but the silkiness of her hair on his cheek and the scent of camomile were soothing to his aching heart –_

"Zero-kun,"

"Mm?"

She shifted a little, but not enough to detach him. A hand carded through his hair, "I'm really proud of you. You're getting on a lot better with Kaname nowadays, aren't you?"

For some reason, something at the back of his neck started tingling, even though Yuuki's tone was perfectly calm and smooth. Perhaps it was a little _too_ smooth, a little _too _calm. Zero glanced at her questioningly.

"Yeah, I guess," he replied, taking her hand in between his. Her hands – everything about her was so small. He never knew if he was hurting her when he held her tightly, so everything was always loose and careful. But perhaps now that she was a Pureblood, her looks were deceiving, maybe she was stronger than she looked.

_Zero remembered the force of the kiss, the bruises he felt bone-deep that ached every time he shifted his hips, the throbbing pulse in his tongue –_

"That's good," she chirped, rocking her legs back and forth, drumming her heels on the back of the counter. He nodded in agreement, eyeing her odd behaviour though from the corner of his eye. There was something she was trying to wheedle out of him. He cleared his throat, releasing her hand, and hopping off the counter to pour her a drink. He got to the fridge.

"Do you like him?"

He almost dropped the bottle, whipping around so fast he had to wait for the room to settle.

The question was completely innocent, but the look in her eyes told him –

Oh god, she _knew_. She fucking _knew_. The accusation was in her cool voice, in her eyes. Stupid, stupid Zero. He'd somehow he'd forgotten– lord knows how – about Yuuki's thing with Kaname in the short space of time that _he'd _been with Kaname. No wonder she was pissed. But wait – she wouldn't be pissed if she thought he only _liked_ Kaname. She'd be hurt and weepy, sure, but she wouldonly be pissed like this… if she knew he'd _done _something with Kaname.

Colour flooded his cheeks. _She'd seen them. Oh god. How? It couldn't get any worse than this –_

"Zero," Zero stopped his cursing and she hopped off the counter with the grace of a cat. "Zero, you-"

"Oh shit," he groaned, hiding his face in his hands, "Oh _god_, Yuuki what did you _see_?" He'd never wanted to hurt Yuuki. It was just the same with her as it was with Kaname – these _Kurans_ – they both got under his skin, so close to his heart that hurting them hurt him too.

God, he felt so _dirty_. For Yuuki to have seen… how could he… how _could _he? All her life she'd loved Kaname, the same went for Isamu. So who the hell was _he –_ what _right _did he have, messing things up, stealing _love_ – especially when Kaname himself was mistaken? He was a disgrace, taking advantage of these people – he reached for her hands again, but she flinched away.

"Yuuki, I'm sorry, it was a mistake," the words were stilted, spurious even to his own ears, and he didn't know what he was saying but he'd say _anything _to make things right – "It didn't mean anything. He's yours_. _He's _yours_,"

The tears made their appearance, and it hurt him to see them roll down her cheeks. She tore away from Zero and let out another sob, making him feel _untouchable._

"It didn't _mean _anything?" she laughed bitterly, "I can't– don't lie to me, I _saw _you. You were _enjoying _it," she scrunched up her nose, "Playing with Kaname-nii like that. Playing with _me _like that. I can't believe you'd be that sort of person. And you know-" she shuddered_. _Zero clutched the counter edge because he couldn't touch her anymore, he couldn't take her in his arms he _couldn't_ – "- you _know _my feelings, Zero. I just – _why _would yo-"

"Yuuki, please-"

"NO," and she slapped him. The force of it had him slamming into the stove-side, clutching his hot cheek and bruised ribs. It packed a punch, but it was still nothing next to his burning shame. He could barely look Yuuki in the eye. "I don't know if… if I can forgive you Zero. It s-so wrong…"

Incredibly, above all the pain, it was his throbbing tongue that stopped him from speaking.

"I've been waiting," she scrubbed away her tears to no avail, "All this time I've b-been _waiting _for him. Why do you think I did nothing-"

Zero was sorely confused at this point, but he stayed quiet, sensing Yuuki needed to talk it out. He'd never seen her so distraught, spilling her heart in so many words, each one a knife to his heart.

"- to pressure him? I thought that Kaname needed time, onii-sama was busy enough and needed to make his decision in his own time. I've been _waiting _for him for so long, because I _couldn't_ bear to put more pressure him, and I was _so_ patient. I _love _him so much, Zero. But now you've," her voice cracked and she shook her head, "All these years, when I was losing hope I thought, well maybe I have you. At least there is _someone _who wants me_. _At least you'd be there for me if Kaname wasn't,"

This made Zero's blood run cold. She couldn't mean…?

"I mean, you love me, don't you?"

He stared at her in pure disbelief. Frozen. She _knew_? All this time he'd ignored his feelings, thinking for sure that they'd never be reciprocated, and at least if Yuuki didn't know then things could stay the same between them.

But she _knew._

Not only did she know his feelings, but she'd been _using _them – keeping him… as nothing more than some kind of lousy _back-up _to Kaname.

A substitute for loneliness. The comprehension of what he was – to her – changed _everything._

"You've _always_ been there for me,"

He had. He'd always been there, comforting her when her heart couldn't take any more of the pain, ignoring how each word of love for Kaname, each tear shed for him was like a knife twisting deeper into his gut. But he'd been played. All this time it was him – the fool – the joke was on him.

He'd never had a chance at all, and he'd known that, and Yuuki had known that, and yet…

"So why…" Yuuki wiped away another trail of tears. Zero was too numb to sympathise. "…why did you hurt me?" His head snapped to her in astonishment.

"Excuse me?" he asked, not recognising the steel in his own voice, "Why…did I hurt_ you?_"

Yuuki frowned, sniffing, "Yes, that's what I don't understand. If you love me… why were you with him? Is it to make me jealous?"

"You're… mad at _me_, for…" he just couldn't wrap his head around Yuuki's thinking. "What are you talking about? Kaname and I are nothing – _you _and I are nothing. How the **hell** can you say that _I _have hurt _you_ when you've been playing me all these years?" Yuuki's eyes widened in confusion, but Zero was _livid, _blind to her tears. "You say you've been waiting for Kaname all these years and yet you think you can _also _'_have' _me too? What the _**fuck**_, Yuuki?" he yelled. He wasn't just angry for himself now, but for Kaname as well. "You still love him, don't you?" She nodded weakly. Zero slumped a little. She was being truthful – but he just had to know –"So how can you… did you _ever_ love me, Yuuki?"

She leapt up at that, "Of _course _I did – I _do!"_

Zero had no trouble believing Yuuki could love two men – heck, she had such a damn big heart she could probably love the whole damn world and still have room for more. _That_ wasn't the issue here. It was the fact that Yuuki clearly thought it was perfectly acceptable to string along someone's interest in you till the one you wanted was available, and the biggest problem was she'd been doing this to him for _years_. Why couldn't she have rejected him? Then at least he'd be free to move on.

"Then how could you do this to me if you loved me? Did you ever once consider how I felt being played like that?" This certainly caught her by surprise, "You made me into a fool!" Zero bit his lip, his anger draining away because he knew she _hadn't_ thought aboutwhat she'd done_. _At least, not enough to consider the damage she'd done to their relationship. "You could have rejected me a long time ago – it certainly would've been kinder. I wouldn't have been waiting on false hope all these years. Fuck. You just don't _do_ that to a person, Yuuki. Don't you understand? It's not _right_,"

Yuuki had stopped crying and she was staring down at her hands miserably. She was still like a child, inconsiderate and careless and yet so completely sincere in her repentance that it was somehow humbling enough to placate his anger. Zero's heart went out to her, because like his own heart, Yuuki was still learning.

This had shaken the foundations of their friendship and nearly cost them their friendship, but the situation was salvageable, and she would _learn_ from this. That was all Zero wanted, in the end. The anger and hurt from discovering Yuuki's doings came and left so swiftly, he'd barely been able to hold onto his anger long enough to make a proper fuss about it. Perhaps he'd have been angrier if the wound was still fresh. Maybe he wasn't holding a torch for Yuuki anymore – not even a little one. Maybe he hadn't done for some time.

There was really only one question left for him to ask.

"Did I ever have a chance? Or was it always Kaname?"

He watched her eyes flicker to meet his guiltily for a second, and then she closed her eyes. He waited patiently, but then he grasped the meaning of her silence. If she wasn't admitting that Kaname would always win her heart, if she wasn't admitting that he'd ever had a chance… the only conclusion he could assume was that either _neither _of them ever had a chance, which was unlikely, or that –

"_Both_ of us?" he choked. _But –_ "You wanted – you were expecting –"

"I thought you would love me, always," there was no doubt that by '_you' _she was referring to both of them now. Yuuki squirmed, "And that you'd fight for me… for my heart,"

She had to be _kidding_ –

Oh.

Zero swore. _Childish_ Yuuki. Sweet, romantic Yuuki who fantasised about the **love** in the fairytales and wanted it for herself – it occurred to him that perhaps… Yuuki was caught in her own difficult situation. Whisked away from her previous life so quickly meant she'd had no time to adjust to everything new. She had no time to figure out who she was, what she was supposed to do, and in the midst of things Yuuki had become isolated in a place she didn't know she wanted to be. Maybe she'd been counting on them – on him and Kaname – to love her, to _save _her from her loneliness and keep her grounded when she was up against the stream.

She was still their little girl after all. Perhaps it wasn't jealousy that Yuuki was feeling, but simply betrayal – having her two most important people change in a flash – just like as her surroundings had, with no warning – must have devastated Yuuki. She'd been counting on them to stay the same. She was afraid they'd leave her. _Oh Yuuki…_

"Yuuki…" he said lowly, "I'm… I'm sorry if you think that love is something you can _expect _from someone. But it isn't. You _can't. _I learnt that from you," Why hadn't he seen this? "And also, you have to accept that… people change. Life changes things all the time. There's nothing we can do about it,"

When there was no response, he sighed in resignation. She just had to mull over what he'd said. Hopefully she'd be able to accept it. He carried his glass to the sink and made to leave.

But then he couldn't move.

He was lifted like a ragdoll and turned around to face Yuuki's frowning face, her hand outstretched and shaking violently. Crap. She was _holding_ him there.

These were her new powers. Holy crap, she was _strong._

He didn't like the way her invisible hands were ticklish like tendrils of soft hair around his limbs, yet he couldn't move an _inch_.

"Kaname has done many things for me, Zero," He didn't doubt this, "He lovesme. He protects me, and gave me a place in his life_. _I know that he cares about me,"

Zero nodded again, he knew that too. Heck, who _didn't _know all the above?

Yuuki smiled, this time softer and tinged with sadness. Her eyes were so big, so full of compassion, that they were just like her brother's, "He'll do _anything_ for those he cares about. You know that. And that that includes _you_ too now, Zero," she explained earnestly, "And I'm really happy that you're friends now. Honestly I am. But don't… I just – I don't want you to get hurt, so I don't want you to read too much into what he does for you. He's a nice guy – that's all, and I know it's difficult to accept, but with Kaname…" her lips pressed together in a thin line, "…you shouldn't expect anything _more_ from him. He's kind to those he cares about, but he's holding out for someone else," her eyes gained a wistful far-off gleam to them. She'd been waiting for Kaname since she was a _little girl_.

Zero grimaced. He wanted to hold her.

He also wanted to run away from her, because he knew exactly who Kaname was holding out for.

"He's been _hurt_ by someone, someone from long ago, but I don't know who they are or why," she frowned, "Whatever they did to him, whoever they are – they will pay for what they did, so help me – it isn't fair," she laughed scornfully, "It just isn't fair. If _I _can't have him, and _he _can't have _them, _then no one's happy. Do you see why you can't become involved in this now? It's complicated enough. Why can't he let them _go_, Zero?"

"I…I don't know," he replied quietly, because… honestly he didn't. He agreed with Yuuki – it _was _Isamu's fault. Sure, he couldn't have prevented his own death, but the aftermath – the impact of his death created a chain reaction of broken hearts behind him. It was insane what the loss of one person could do.

_He was dead. Even if he and Yuuki wanted payback, he was __**dead**__. What did that mean?_

"Zero, what… I'm trying to say is that you're situation isn't so different to mine,"

It took a moment to understand what she meant but then _oh_. Again, she made another terrifyingly good point. God, Zero felt awful for always underestimating Yuuki, she'd thought about this, a lot. They _were _similar – Kaname had also taken him under his wing – introduced him to the Vampire world – given him purpose, to _exist_, he supposed, because of the fucking Bond. And he was obsessively, frustratingly protective of him too. So what Yuuki was trying to say was –

"I don't want you to get your hopes up, if you want _that _with him. I'm not telling you not to try, but if _I've _tried over _years _and failed…"

She let him back on his feet, the height difference meant little to nothing now, now that he'd seen how powerful she truly was. She wasn't that little girl anymore. She was stronger than he'd ever expected, smarter and possibly more insightful into others than many believed.

However.

What she'd said – what she was _suggesting _ – the _nerve_. How dare she make such assumptions? How could she assume that even if their situations were the same, their outcomes wouldn't be different? She was doing it again – assuming what he'd be, what he'd do and what he was capable of, before he'd even guessed it for himself.

"Don't tell me what to do," Zero snapped, unable to contain himself. He knew he was lashing out, but the monster was pouring words into his mouth, "I think you're forgetting something," loosening his tongue, "Our situations _aren't _so alike. Aren't you forgetting what you saw?" Yuuki gasped. He wished he could take it back the moment it passed his lips, but Zero had no control of what he was saying anymore. And it was wildly satisfying, seeing her eyes glisten, knowing that his final words would be the last wonderful straw. It was _her_ turn to suffer – his mouth twisted into a vindictive smirk, "He kissed _me_, Yuuki–"

_Slap. _

The force of it crashed him into the fridge door this time and left a scorching handprint on his other cheek. He was on the floor so she towered over him, and her eyes weren't soft anymore. Zero's was shocked into silence. Where had those words come from? Deep down, Zero knew he _meant _what he'd said, but he'd had no desire to _say_ it. Now she was striding over to him – furious, implacable – and he was terrified as he was hauled up so his feet didn't even brush the floor.

"Let me tell you something, Zero,"

She peered up at him. Her voice was Arctic. Her gaze so sharp it cut right through him.

"When someone is giving you some friendly advice. _Take it_," she hissed, the invisible hands tightened over his throat, "And be _thankful_, for fuck's sake. You're lucky it's me. I _know _he kissed you, dumbass, I _saw _it. That still doesn't mean he's over that _other person_," her forehead wrinkled, just like Kaname's when he was upset, "He might be taking comfort from you. Don't be fooled by it. And don't you fucking _dare _take advantage of him," Yuuki's eyes narrowed to deadly slits, "You hear me? I could make you promise not to. In fact, I could make it so you _couldn't_," her expression became speculative. Zero didn't like where this was headed. If she was thinking what he was thinking – , "No," she decided, much to his relief, "That would be wrong," thank goodness.

"But… let's just see if I can make you _see_ things _my way_,"

And that was when it started.

Zero squawked, feeling something claw into his – his – heck, _he_ didn't know. But it felt like someone was pouring lava into his ear and it was flowing directly to his brain. That wasn't possible. It wasn't physical, but it was inside him – fuck – it was _mental_ –

Yuuki's face was now scrunched up in concentration. Zero was begging her with the whites of his eyes rolled back to **stop**. There were things in his mind she shouldn't know, particularly about Isamu. If she found out he knew who Kaname was hung over all this time, she would –

"What's this – what is –" her frown deepened, "_Isamu?_ _Who_ is this 'Isamu'?"

Oh God – Zero could feel her in his mind like she gouging information out with a blunt spoon. This was nothing like when Kaname or Isaya fiddled with his mind. They were _careful_. She was careless, or _highly _unpractised_. _He could practically feel his skull fracturing under the pressure – was this what it would be like if Sara got to him? No, this was only painful because Yuuki was new to telepathy. Her touch was clumsy – it was _still_ dangerous – but it wasn't nearly as lethal as what Sara could probably do. She'd know exactly where his weaknesses were. She could crack him open like Humpty-Dumpty so he'd never be put back together again.

Her withdrawal was as abrupt and painful as Isaya's had been, and Zero could tell from her face that she knew _everything_.

Yuuki dropped him on the floor, backing into the sink. When he finally had his breathing under control and was certain his head was still intact, he rubbed his sore throat. Had he been screaming? Yuuki was so pale. Fidgeting like she had to consciously restrain herself from beating the shit out of him. Zero flopped forwards onto his hands and knees, he started crawling towards her.

"Y- Yuuki…"

Her lips pressed together again, and she scuttled away further. Her tears drummed on the linoleum floor, somehow louder than the click-clack of her heels. Crestfallen, Zero stared down at his hands so he didn't have to watch her leave. Things had never _ever _been so bad between them as it was now, and he didn't know if they could fix this later. He trembled because the weight of that on his shoulders was almost too much to handle. This wasn't his **fault. **It was Isamu. Isamu was to blame. If only Yuuki hadn't looked into his head and found _him_. Zero punched the floor hard enough to rattle his bones. He wiped away the trail of tears with his sleeve.

If it wasn't his fault, then why was he left feeling like... he'd failed?

* * *

><p>The clamour and commotion after so much <em>quiet <em>in the Castle was sufficiently distracting enough from previous events, and it drew Zero to the Hall. There were few shadows and hiding places now, but he managed to squeeze into a cavity in the wall which gave him a perfect view of downstairs. Isaya was down there, receiving injured soldiers in Kaname's stead. Airi was helping unfold the stretchers while Seiren was talking to Isaya, but since when did she – when did _anyone _for that matter dare whisper _reports_ into a Pureblood's ear? Isaya was listening to her whilst directing the medical teams, and Benomi was at his elbow, clinging to him like a limpet and being more of a distraction than anything else.

Isaya must have taken him out for some exercise, Zero realised, but then been interrupted by this crazy crowd. He sympathised with Benomi – a newborn Vampire in a room full of bloody wounded. Tricky situation. He admired him, because his eyes only glinted red a few times, and he was otherwise under control.

But because Benomi' senses were at their peak because he was so _young_, and that meant he could probably smell every droplet of blood in the room. Zero could see him sipping little breaths of air to prevent it overwhelming him, but even with each little breath he would be able to register _everything _in astounding detail. With his senses in overdrive, he'd be able to gage the location of every person in the room, and identify their blood-rank and health. That meant he could almost certainly smell the sweat rolling down Zero's spine, the dried cuts littering his hands and the swell of blood blossoming in the bruises on his face.

Benomi's head whipped up to face him, so damn **noticeable** he almost face-palmed, it was so tragic. Had Vampirism replaced the boy's common sense? Isaya took notice of his Son's attention immediately and chastened him with a hand on his shoulder. Sara wasn't around, but Zero was highly conscious that someone else might look up to see what Benomi had seen. He didn't even know if he was visible in his current place. Airi's head swivelled to his direction, but her eyes passed over him with no recognition.

How was he going to get to Isaya when he was surrounded by people? Isaya was frowning, looking considerably worried from what Seiren was saying. Benomi kept twisting to look in his direction, staring owlishly athim and generally making it fucking _obvious _that someone was _there_, much to his concern. Benomi squeaked in surprise when Seiren bowed and disappeared in a mist.

Almost immediately after she left, another group of people arrived, damn it. Takuma, Shiki, Kain and Aidou piled into the Hall, all of them pale, sweaty and beat up. They looked around for their King, but finding him absent, they pounced on Isaya.

Zero sighed. He'd never get Isaya alone at this rate.

A wave of familiar warmth grazed him. It took him a moment to recognise Isaya's touch, but the brief flash of Isaya's wife in his head did it. Isaya wasn't looking at him, but he was showing him he was there for him, and showing that he knew Zero was there too. It was somewhat comforting, and Zero tried to send a "_Thank you"_ to him, but whatever. He knew it was a stupid idea. It probably wouldn't even wor –

Isaya's head snapped up, his widened eyes meeting Zero's head on.

A jolt shot up his spine, and Zero was pleased it had worked. But Isaya looked shocked, and not in a good way. It only lasted a couple of seconds, but Zero hardly breathed till Isaya looked away from him, back to the group hounding him. He tried to understand what that _look_ meant. Maybe Isaya didn't like that he could speak back to him mentally. No. That wouldn't be it. Maybe... oh shit – he'd _projected _his thoughts. And what was it that Kaname said to him before?

His thoughts were _already_ abnormally loud.

So maybe _projecting _his message had been more like… screaming it. Was that why Isaya looked shocked – no, shocked was not the right word, _panicked_? Of _course_ it was, he was freaking out. What if Sara heard him? Zero only realised he was hyperventilating when his chest hurt and the air clicked dryly in his throat. Shit, shit, shit. How could he quieten his thoughts? He was thinking right now, a lot, and he couldn't help it. He was panicking. Did panicking sound louder than normal thoughts?

A deluge of images of Isaya's wife engulfed him, which Zero accepted gladly, wrapping himself in the camouflage blankets of Isaya's mind. The general sentiment was relief – at least Isaya had reacted quickly to his panic. That was too close though, and Isaya – Isaya didn't look as relieved as he should be. No, he was mouthing something at him. Zero tried to read his message, but Isaya couldn't make any overt gestures to give him away. Isaya was trying to tell him something with his _eyes_, but he wasn't very good at it.

Benomi grunted loudly yanking on Isaya's arm, but Zero was lost in what Isaya was saying. What was he saying? Isaya shot him another warning glance, and then Benomi crashed to the floor on his knees and Isaya practically flopped into a bow. Zero flinched at the sound of his back cracking, but the footsteps –footsteps _really _close by– drew his attention immediately. A handsome couple passed him by in a flash, and then he saw who it was and he stifled a gasp –

Sara stopped mid-step, pulling her away from Kaname as he continued forwards. She smiled at his affronted pout and beckoned him to her. Kaname wrapping his arms around her slender waist and questioning her with an affectionate nudge of his nose. She shook her head guilelessly, dropping her chin on his sternum.

"Nothing," she murmured, "I just thought… no, it's silly,"

Kaname grinned down at her, "What is it?"

She sighed delicately, gesturing to where Isaya and Benomi were, "I can see that Isaya-san is _there_, but for just a moment I swear I _heard_ him here too, right _beside _us. But that's impossible. How can he be in two places at once?"

Kaname laughed, ducking close to whisper mock-discreetly into her ear, "It must be because Isaya-san has pretty bad aim. He's been calling for us, but I'm pretty sure he's been projecting his voice all over the Castle," he took them to the banister. Leaning over it he cupped his mouth and called down, "We're _here_, Isaya-san! You can stop now!"

Isaya nodded meekly, bowing low again. His Son was still flat on the floor, too young, to low on the hierarchy to even be able to glance upwards without permission. Sara hummed thoughtfully but she seemed to accept Kaname's explanation. Then she unexpectedly grabbed Kaname by the collar and dragged him down into a fierce kiss.

Kaname moaned when she pulled back, darting back for a few lingering pecks, much to her delight. He followed her down to the bottom of the steps, allowing Isaya to kiss her hand and Benomi to kiss their feet. "Tell me now, what troubles you, my friend?" he urged Isaya, making sure to keep his hand on Sara's waist, "You've been screaming so loudly, it's been giving me a headache,"

Sara smiled thinly, "Yes, is something the matter?"

"My apologies Kaname-sama, Sara-sama," Isaya gushed, flustered by her tone, "I was worried. Our scouts have returned from their enquiry, and I just thought you might want to know that there has been a disturbance with some Es at the border. It's all sorted now," he reassured quickly, "But I'm sorry to inform you that a number of our men died, and there are few left uninjured,"

"Yes, you can smell it in the air," Sara remarked, sniffing the air, "How _awful_," she squeezed Kaname's arm sympathetically. He nodded stiffly.

"Yes, it is," Isaya agreed, "Apparently the Es were trying to get into the Castle, but luckily they were stopped at the borders. They've been attacking all around the wall so _randomly_. Seiren says it is due to their distance from Rido partially freeing their minds so they're acting out," his eyes lingered on Kaname, a small muscle jumped in his jaw.

Kaname hummed, "So they're certain none got in?"

Isaya nodded, "None got in, but we believe that even at this distance, Rido has _some _control on them. Seiren says that even if the pattern of their attacks appears random _at first_, there is one particular bit of wall has been hit significantly more than the rest. She speculates that _this area_ is their primary target, and for whatever reason, they want to break in from _there_. That section of wall is _not_ significantly weaker than the rest to our knowledge, and we can find no weakness in it that may explain why it has their focus. The only logical reason we can assume is that they have something up their sleeve. Perhaps they already have someone _there_ waiting to let them in," he bit his lip, the intensity of his stare and reluctance to look away from Kaname spoke volumes. Sara responded to Kaname's tense, thoughtful nod with a sympathetic coo.

"It'll be alright, darling. You have plenty of soldiers left, don't you? They can keep them out,"

She was speaking about their soldiers as if they were toys, easily discarded once broken – easily replaced when lost. But these were people. They were _dead. _Where was the respect they deserved?Kaname smiled breezily, "Not anymore I'm afraid, my dear, but with your help, perhaps," to which she laughed and patted his hand. Isaya's eyes were burning fucking crater in the side of Kaname's face.

"Be patient, my love, and they will come," she promised, and kissed his jaw, "Soon,"

Kaname smiled, but his eyes flicked questioningly to Isaya who remained silent but was now watching _her_ like a hawk. He pulled Sara towards his chest, pressing her face to his chest and propping her under his chin and looking over her head as Isaya mouthed something to him:

_She's with Rido. It's too late._

Kaname struggled to disguise his shock, dropping his hand onto the curve of Sara's neck instinctively and concentrating on regulating his heartbeat. How could this _be_? Already – already oh, _oh…_so what Isaya meant was that the person on the inside was Sara... it _was_ over. They were finished. Kaname focused on remaining calm, keeping himself relaxed in Sara's hold. She couldn't know a thing. The less she knew, the safer they were. Thank _goodness _he hadn't disclosed anything of value with her so far. He'd always had a hunch. Still, he mouthed back:

_Are you sure?_

Isaya nodded morosely – and right then Sara pulled herself back to beam up at Kaname and it was the most hideous thing he'd ever seen. Here was Sara right there, pressed against his chest with her fingers poised at his heart. A smiling assassin indeed.

Well… if they were doomed already, what was the harm in trying? Who's to say they wouldn't go down fighting? Certainly not Kaname. Not whilst he still had breath in his body.

"Shall we get something to drink?" Kaname suggested glibly, casually leading the Purebloods away from the hall to the ballroom, leaving Benomi behind on the floor like he didn't even exist. Benomi was the only one left to see it. His keen new eyes sought a figure slump in the dark, he heard something crack against the floor –

"Benomi," He jumped, springing to his feet at Isaya's side. Kaname and Sara were in the ballroom but Isaya had come back, briefly to check on him. That thing in the dark sounded like an animal dying slowly from a wound. Benomi knew that from hunting with his father, when they listened for the sound of their catch sniffling in the dirt and licking their wounds. But this sound frightened him because they were in a Castle, not a forest.

It also excited him as his primal mind launched into – _injured person, alone, vulnerable – __**blood, ohgoshthere'sblood – **__blood, all mine, mineminemineminemine.. _and he licked his lips hungrily.

"It's alright, my child," Isaya comforted, taking his hand, "Listen…are you listening to me Benomi?" A small nod, "Are you able to concentrate?" Another nod, slightly slower but still coherent, "Good. I must return to them, so you must do something for me whilst I am gone. You mustn't fail me. No one is to see you, do you understand?"

"Yes," Benomi breathed, taking time to form the word. Isaya frowned at him, unconvinced but too desperate to dwell on it too long. He nodded, having made his decision to trust Benomi's judgement. If he was okay, he was okay…

"If you're sure... listen then, upstairs you will find a boy lying in the dark…"

* * *

><p>– he saw Kaname's face light in pleasure, and him whispering something softly into her ear. Sara lingered behind until Kaname came to collect her, she was quite close to Zero's hiding place. He carefully squirmed his way backwards into the niche, to the point where the gap between the walls was so narrow he could scarcely breathe. That didn't matter, he wasn't breathing anyway. From this angle, he couldn't see any of Kaname anymore, only Sara.<p>

Kaname came back into the picture soon and snagged her into an embrace. He glanced up for only split second – like Isaya, looking at Zero to show him that he knew he was _there. _Trapped in the dark, with no way out.

Kaname turned to speak with Isaya. Whilst he was facing away he didn't see Sara glance back, her line of gaze a hair's breadth way away from Zero's spot. Her mouth pursed, he was sure she had seen him. She _knew_ –

But she didn't drag him out. Oh no, instead she grabbed Kaname by the collar and tugged him down into a passionate kiss.

She wound herself around his body, and everything she gave into the kiss, Kaname gave back. That familiar seed of doubt returned: was Kaname really enjoying her touch or was this all still an act? It was hard to tell with Kaname, when he was being sincere and when not. Zero observed the pair closely, ignoring how wrong it felt, how his stomach churned watching their intimate display. With the way they were positioned, he was facing Kaname, which meant he could only see _him_. His fingers tangled in her hair, his eyes shut in bliss, his hands on her hips… when they drew apart, Kaname even went back for more, pecking her again and again as if he couldn't bear to stop.

Zero was battling with the monster inside of him. Part of him wanted to set it free. To see what it would do to Sara, or maybe Kaname – for this strange feeling of betrayal stabbed him in the gut, and he had no idea where it came from. He wanted to peel Sara off Kaname's body and throw her into a dark abyss. He – something was holding him there again, like with Yuuki before, but it was much more precise, less fumbling. He had no idea if Isaya, or Kaname or Sara was doing it. It didn't matter though, the point was that he couldn't move.

Long after Kaname and Sara had gone downstairs, Zero was still stuck in place, wondering why he was still being kept. Why did they want him here? He couldn't see, neither could he be seen from where he was. And nothing was happening.

Soon he'd see it was the latter's reason for what was about to happen.

A stabbing pain carved into his head, plunging in with the precision of a senbon needle. He would have screamed if he could, but that was impossible. His lungs stuttered to a stop in pure shock and his throat was closed up. This was Sara. This was what she could do. Just like Zero had anticipated, Sara was far more destructive than Yuuki. Her attack was swift as a snake's bite and seeped into his mind like a poison.

And no one was here to see this.

He was in the dark. He was trapped and being tortured, and no one _could see him. _

She dropped him before he could catch himself, so his head cracked against the concrete floor. It must have cracked open. His brains were spilling out of his skull. Even after being released, he couldn't _move_. The pain was the worst in his head, where he couldn't reach it. He couldn't do anything. He knew that even with all the pain, he wasn't going to pass out – she wouldn't let him. But he was stuck in a fuzzy, dark world and he didn't like it and he wanted out. He wanted to crawl out of the crevice and be _seen_ – the _one _time Zero wanted attention, when he needed _help_ –

And no one was there.

Zero managed to roll onto his side, his slack mouth dribbling foam from the corner, drip-drip-dripping onto the floor in splats. He blinked blearily, trying to see past the blackness and work his mouth and throat around the words "Help me," but not a sound was coming out, and no one was there anyway. He heard Sara's laughter distantly, and felt her deliver one last vicious stab to his pain-numbed body.

He was about to give up when he heard a set of footsteps stumbling towards him, too close too quickly and hasty to be anyone he'd recognise. They scuffed the ground with each uncertain step, as though testing the ground for strength or dragging his feet, and then he was rolled onto his back carefully. Zero blinked to clear his eyes, it didn't matter though. All he could see in such darkness were a pair of bright red eyes.


	96. My Heart, It's Bleeding

**Author's Note:**

**Holy crap. This is a mighty long one. As always, sorry for the wait. I've been pushing this one around a lot. They're getting a lot trickier nearer the end. **

**I also needed to say that your response from my previous rant is –**

**It's just –**

**It made me unashamedly **_**cry **_**at times (freaking out my cat), and frigging hug my Lappy (laptop) cos I wanted to send all my thanks to y'all. I cannot express how **_**powerful**_** words can be. Sticks and stones, my friends, sticks and stones. You guys have given me so much support – such an massive ego-boost that ****I'm afraid my neck will snap from the weight of my super-inflated head.**

**RIP, our hero Mr Neil Armstrong. My head's going to reach the effing moon at some point. Jesus, I need to **_**stop. **_**That was honestly said with no offence intended. He may be one man gone in the scheme of things – in comparison to the many who die day by day, but he was a great man, for science and the world.**

**Kay, I'm gonna stop with my little hero-worship rant now. FYI – I love space. Star Trek is in my list for fanficcing, if I ever get to the end of this one XD**

**So again – thank you – a thousand times thank you. I love you so much. I loved writing this chapter so much too (renewed love for writing FTW). Always remember to use your words with great care and consideration, you never know what an impact might make on helping someone achieve their dreams.**

**OH YEAH AND BTW, GUYS – I TOTALLY MADE IT. I'M INTO UNI. HUZZAH, HUZZAH~! SO LUCKY! SO HAPPY –**

**I'm gonna use that internet thingy and conclude this whole thing into: "I can't even," a****nd leave it at that. :)**

**puui out x**

* * *

><p><em><strong>"In dreams, we enter a world that's entirely our own."<br>~ Dumbledore (J.K Rowling)**_

_**"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart."  
>~ Helen keller<strong>_

_**"Yours is the light by which my spirit's born: - you are my sun, my moon, and all my stars."**_  
><em><strong>~ E.E. Cummings<strong>_

* * *

><p>"Christ, you thought I was gonna <em>eat<em> you?"

Zero wanted to reply: _'Well _yes,_ that might be because __you're a frigging __**Newborn, **__and __your eyes were glowing red__ when you jumped me in the __**dark**__. Take your fucking pick, numbnuts.'_

But he had to fume in silence, because he couldn't move, let alone speak. His head felt like it was overstuffed with polystyrene peanuts, and every movement – even blinking – was difficult and _confusing_. Confusing because when he tried to wag his middle finger at Benomi, his thigh quivered. When wiggled his nose it made his fingers twitch.

When Sara hijacked his brain, it was like she had torn out his central nervous system and rewired it so every movement he meant to make did something else entirely. It was terrifying. What if he wanted to sit up and his body mistook this to mean taking a shit? What if he tried to speak but found himself crying instead? He dared not move. Literally _screwed _in his own body. How fucking _embarrassing_. It was a wonder he was even alive.

Less than an hour ago he'd been rolling around on the floor, spasming in agony and desperately trying to remember how to _breathe_. Choking on dust, he'd wanted to sneeze but ending up kicking Benomi in the balls instead, and wondered what the _fuck _was going on. He'd drifted in and out of consciousness after that. From what he assumed, this was thanks to massive blood loss. Benomi hadn't breathed at all the whole way up to Kaname's room, hastily dumping him into the bathtub and spraying him with water till it ran clear. Communication then ran along the lines of spluttering pathetically, blinking rapidly when it stung and attempting to grunt out curses in Morse code. His protests went mostly ignored.

To be honest, Zero was amazed his mind could function at all. Surely Sara's assault had minced his head into itty-bitty pieces, cracked him open like Humpty-Dumpty, and yet not so long after she'd left his mind, he could already feel it starting to _heal_. Perhaps after having his mental ass handed to him so many times, he'd subconsciously decided – _enough_, he wasn't going to wait around for help anymore, he was going to fix this damn thing by itself.

Now he was recuperating on Kaname's bed whilst Benomi wrung out cool flannels for his head and discreetly shifted a jug of ice-water on his groin. Despite his incessant chattering, Benomi made an excellent nurse. The one thing that annoyed Zero more than anything was that there were questions building up in his head that just needed a damn way _out, _but they were dammed by his muteness and _confound it_, he needed answers more than he needed the strength to flip Benomi off. Benomi was a headache. He was determined to keep the chatter going, taking over both sides of the conversation. The only other person who could talk like this was Kaien, and goddamn it, he didn't need another _him_.

The only reason why Zero wasn't glaring Benomi into silence was because he suspected the babble was meant to distract him from Zero's hair still caked in blood and the fact that he was basically _the perfect_ meal lying there, all weak and defenceless. Every now and again Benomi's voice quavered as he ran out of topics and his fingers twitched sporadically, mangling the poor flannels bone dry. Zero's breath would completely stop and – yeah, he guessed he didn't mind if Benomi wanted to talk him to death. It was a much better alternative to what might else transpire.

Then he whistled loudly to grab Zero's wandering attention, but this instead caused his eyes to roll back into his head as the noise ripped through his tender brain.

"Whoa, shit, sorry," Benomi exclaimed, "Are you okay? Your knees are shaking all funny…" He placed another cool cloth over his patient's temples, as if _that_ would help, instead of lowering his voice, "Sorry, I just... forgive me if I find it funny that you think _I_ could do something like that. Do you really think **I** could eat anyone?"

Zero twitched various appendages until he could find his mouth, "…New…born," he managed. Benomi frowned.

"Well, I'm… I don't think I can be _officially _classifiedas a Newborn…" Zero stared at him vacantly, "…my bloodline – you know, because I'm directly descended from Isaya, I – ah, it's a long, complicated, boring story. _Basically,_ I'm not like other Newborns. Father said that I'd have better control of my new… self than other Newborns do because, rather than losing my _Humanity_, I am simply… becoming the Vampire I have always _been_,"

"…dor-…mant," he twitched an eyebrow to indicate a question. Benomi shifted a little, tilting his head as he worked out his meaning.

"Yes, I suppose my Vampirism _was_ dormant in a way. All this time..." he gained a solemn far-off look in his eyes which was so removed from his bubbly personality, it was actually quite alarming. But then he regained his train of thought and sent him a rueful grin, "I'm actually… I'm really _glad _that this all has happened – not the _war_, but us coming together. If we hadn't, I'd never have discovered this other side of me – I'd still be stuck in that…" his mouth pinched, as though he was recalling an unpleasant memory, but he carried on with perseverance, "I'd never have known that _this _is where I'm meant to be – with Father, who made me into who I'm _meant_ to be – a Vampire," he said with such relish that it completely floored Zero.

But when he thought about how Benomi stumbled over mentioning his past life, he had an inkling as to why Benomi might find his new life _better._ A second chance, a new exciting life – especially for a Human. Human literature had always romanticised Vampires – why _wouldn't _Benomi be keen to have better night vision, greater speed and agility, a stronger body and slower aging… He didn't come with the same black-and-white view of Vampire and Hunter life. He didn't see Vampirism as _Zero _had been raised to see it – as a curse – a disease. To Zero, it was natural to pity Vampires. They lived in permanent darkness and starvation, lusting for blood and dragging death behind them.

"I have some pills," Benomi rattled a blood-pill case, but when Zero's thigh quivered he hesitated, his own thighs clamping around the jug on his lap for a shield, "Okay, okay, it's just you know…if you _want _some. You've lost a lot of blood…" Zero's knee jerked in answer, causing Benomi to edge away nervously, "Suit yourself. I'm having some though. Why do they taste like shit? They look like little mints. Your blood smells really weird you know. Not in a bad way, but–"

"B-Ben-o…" Zero's lips slumped halfway through. His tongue flapped in a pitiable fashion that had drool collecting in his jaw. He scowled, but Benomi listened obligingly. He was surprisingly good at deciphering Zero's broken slurs. "…why…pr-…pre-tend?" he coughed.

Benomi frowned a little, but cracked his meaning quickly, "You mean downstairs, in the lobby?" Zero grunted. "Why was I acting stupid?" Zero rolled his eyes from twelve o' clock to three o' clock, before they started twitching and he gave up. "Well, it was my idea – my blood smells common and Sara can sense Father's mark on me, so I appear lowly to her. Her guard is down around me, therefore I can go by her unnoticed. I'm an extra pair of ears and eyes on her to catch her if she slips up," he grinned, "She doesn't expect _me, _a babbling mindless _Newborn _to actually be a _spy_,"

Zero hummed in quiet approval – Benomi made a convincing performance – he was genuinely impressed.

Zero shook his head minutely, lips tilting into a demented grin – not what he was going for, but – "…she _knows_…"

Benomi bit his lip, "About me? No, she doesn't. Father said-"

Zero grunted. He winked rapidly three times in succession.

"Oh," Benomi realised, "You mean she knows about you?" Zero's demented grin widened. "Nah, she doesn't know – well I don't _think _she kno – well… Father would've _said_ if she knew – oh," Benomi's eyes narrowed, "That reminds me Father wanted me to tell you something . It's… it's not good news, I'm afraid. It's... it isn't what she knows about us that is the problem, you see, but what _we _have recently learnt about her,"

Zero listened to Benomi with growing dread. Their plan was botched. He could only tremble as the world seemed to be closing in around them – they were spiralling into disaster now, with no hope of surviving it. They were dead. Rido had won. Sara made her decision long before all this even started, and – it was over. It was all _over_.

"Hey – hey, hey–!" he'd almost forgotten Benomi there, so lost in despair that he was startled by Benomi grabbing his arm. "Calm down. Come on," Benomi pleaded, shaking him. The movements jostled him, but he was so far away, he simply turned his head to the side and shut his eyes. He felt just so _defeated. _What could they _do_ anymore? Zero's chest heaved with suppressed scathing laughter, the convulsion concerned Benomi, who came closer and secured his spasming limbs to the bed. He scanned Zero frantically to see what was wrong, but when Zero settled down to small shudders every so often, he sighed in relief.

"Okay, I know you're upset, probably very… _very _upset by this news, but you should know…" his hand jerked Zero's, catching him by surprise, "That even if this all rests on you," he was faced by Benomi's serene gaze once more, and found himself drawing strength from it, despite the weight and severity of his words, "_They_ say that all the time, but it is only your responsibility if _you _want it to be. No one can force you to do anything. You could have given up by now, if you really wanted to. But you aren't that type of person, someone told me it isn't in you to give up, even if the going gets tough. Do you know who that person is?" Benomi was smiling expectantly, "…Kaname. Zero – _Kaname_ believes in you more than anyone. He's willing to leave the whole world in your hands,"

Even if Zero could speak, he wouldn't be able to respond to that.

Benomi slipped a flannel over his eyes. "It's been an hour, so I think you can sleep now. I'll nudge you awake every hour if you want…" Zero hummed, feeling Benomi's weight shift off the bed and hearing the plush armchair creak. A rustle of pages – a book, a shuffle of legs sliding over into a better position, and then he fell asleep to his amazement, at the end of Benomi's incoherent mumble.

* * *

><p><em>Though he would have preferred a dreamless sleep, Zero was standing in his old room back at the Academy. The <em>new_ old one, the one he'd been given in the Moon Dorm, with the ridiculous carpet. He stretched his toes in it, enjoying in the freedom of movement he at least got in the dreamworld._

_There was a silhouetted figure sat on his bed. A woman._

_The door swung open and another person stepped into the room. Zero's attention was fixed to him instantly. He felt like he knew him from recognising his distinctive gait, but both strangers were concealed in a strange, inky blackness – not_ darkness, _but like someone had literally poured black ink all over them. There weren't even eyes or mouths in their faces. __But even with so little to identify them by, it was not difficult to guess__ who it was –_

"_Kaname?"_

_The male figure jerked, as though he was yanked upright by puppet strings. Kaname remained shrouded in darkness, but his head tilted at him. Relieved at the acknowledgment, Zero smiled. __Then t__he lighting in the room swung to put Kaname into focus. It was even more of a relief to see that it was him, but he was staring so intensely at Zero that it instantly displaced the comfort with unease. Zero let out a deep sigh. Kaname continued to stare at him. It was disconcerting, but Zero chose to ignore it._

_Then Kaname was coming closer to him –_

_No, wait. _

He _was moving towards Kaname. Zero walked without meaning to and kept going till he could extend his finger and be touching Kaname's hip. As they drew closer, his back straightened abruptly, shoulders squaring and his chin tilting up so he couldn't look away from Kaname's face. With a start, he realised that this was the way he always acted around Kaname –__ ever since he was little he would always rise up to meet Kaname and look him in dead the eye, instead of lowering himself in respect he_ demanded _it instead_._ And even though Kaname should, like any respecting Pureblood, punish Zero in disgust for his impudence – he had never followed the norm either. He would sometimes quirk his lip in amusement, squirm at his conflicted desire to return Zero's cheek with equal derision, or when it really got to him he might__ shuffle his feet in an aborted motion meant to rebuke Zero (perhaps knock him to the ground like he so often did to Aidou). _

_This Kaname, in his dream, stared at Zero, completely unaffected. It was almost equivalent to being properly reprimanded. Zero held his position for a few more seconds, and then thought better of it. He should back off –_

_But his body continued to move __around __and adjust itself closer to Kaname's proximity, he felt his heart begin to pound and his mouth became dry – what on earth? He'd never done this before, had he? Moving closer till they were shoulder to shoulder and he ought to feel Kaname's body-heat, his spine slackened and he leant his weight on one leg. It made his hip swing out and brush Kaname's.__ He was suddenly too aware of himself, not really knowing which was the right way to stand or what to do with his hands. He wanted to be… he was…_

_Oh _shit_, no. This was going to be one of _**those** _dreams, wasn't it?_

_Already the way his body was responding made a rush of heat shoot up and down his body, he couldn't _think _straight, and every movement urged him to make _contact_ with Kaname. _

_Zero stopped to _think **shit, what am I getting into?**_ But as he _knew_ the answer already – the desire that was there, yearning for something burning and alive against his skin – he had only a choice to make: was he going to take this into his own hands or run away – from the dream, from Kaname and everything he wanted – and leave it all behind to be forgotten. __He wanted to forget this – god, he hoped it would just disappear, because… because this was something he knew to be real. Undeniable, irrefutable – this was _his body_._ _His dream – it__ could not be a sham. This was his heart, which he was finally starting to listen to._

_Zero was on the floor. When he'd fallen to his knees he couldn't say, but he had his head in his hands and was trembling with want – crippled by his inner conflictions. __Zero looked up at Kaname. Only moments ago he'd believed he would never kneel before Kaname, but look where he was now – brought to his knees by his mere presence. The light cast artistic shadows on him – as always, Kaname was cloaked in shadows – but they did not obscure him, in fact they adorned him with an otherworldly glow. His skin reflected light like the moon, and it softened the sharpness of his bones._

_Kaname was _perfect_. The abstract definition of the word 'perfect' rang in his head, and he knew that Kaname wasn't technically perfect. Perfection didn't exist, but Zero was convinced that he was the closest thing to it, and – _he is perfect to **me.** _Zero blinked at this insight, taking in the weight of his words and their meaning. He blinked again._

_His eyes trailed of their own accord down Kaname's body, unabashed by his own curiosity because this was only a_ _dream and h__e was allowed to ogle as much as he liked. Anyway, he wasn't going to touch Kaname without his permission. That didn't mean he couldn't look at Kaname, and hope it might soothe a little bit of the ache in his heart. __Zero almost didn't notice his wayward hand reaching for Kaname until it was too late and he was holding Kaname's hand. _

_Since his mind could only supply sensation with what he knew, if he had not felt it, it wouldn't be felt. He knew Kaname's hands, in the darkness and out of it, so Zero could squeeze Kaname's hand and feel the bones and knuckles shift under his skin. He was __suddenly __transported into Kaname's space, much, much closer to Kaname than he'd been before. There were no breaths gusting onto his lips at first, until he sought to remember it, and then he could imagine its taste on his tongue and he ducked forward in a clumsy kiss to claim it._

_Kaname's lips didn't move at first. They were hard and an unforgiving. It hurt – literally – and made it much more difficult to kiss when he had to direct both sides of it. This dream… it made no sense. Why was he given Kaname to command like a puppet? Was there meaning behind his immobility? He could do whatever he wanted to him. This made Zero's face heat up at the implications – but it was true – he had_ power _over Kaname in this dream. True power over him, for the first time in his life – it was a reversal of his usual situation, being moved about by Kaname's will. Now he could pay him back for all those times, but... he didn't want to. Even though he was thoroughly tempted to get some payback and maybe satisfy himself at the same time... hadn't Kaname always respected his free-will? He'd never been forced to do something, even when he could clearly see Kaname wanted nothing more than for him to obey him and he could have easily made him do it – he hadn't. _

_He reached up to stroke Kaname's hair back, disappointed that this touch was the furthest he would go. He only saw his fingers slip through his hair, he couldn't _feel_ it. Absently Zero recalled never having touched Kaname's hair before, except when it brushed his cheek. On his cheek he knew it was cool and ticklish._

"_Does it hurt, knowing it's not real?"_

_Startled, Zero recoiled in surprise at being caught, and Kaname's mouth followed him. It was like he'd breathed life back into him, because after that brief kiss he kept his breathing steady and warm. _

"_What's wrong with him?" he found himself asking. His eyes were on Kaname's, bright and vermillion and they should be a shade darker, he thought. He amended it, but even then they didn't look right. A little too glassy, a little too bland._

_No matter how well he could imagine Kaname, it was nothing near as good as the real thing._

_It was the woman in the corner who had spoken, but... she wasn't the one person when she stepped from the darkness. She was a whole mix of people. She was_ everyone.

"_Isn't this how you want him?"_

_Zero turned back to Kaname at her gesture, this time finding him_ _on his knees. The hands he'd been holding onto were on his hips, and he'd had Kaname's hands there before, but they hadn't burned like this – a bruising hold that had Zero's breath stuttering, especially when Kaname nuzzled his cheek against his stomach. _

"_On his knees," she continued coolly. Zero flinched at the accusation, but__Kaname moaned lowly, causing him to shiver. He turned his head, mouthing at the taut skin of Zero's belly (but he couldn't feel it, so it was a feast for the eyes only). He pressed his face to his stomach and dragged a line of kisses up to Zero's sternum before he sank back down, his tongue flicked out on the return journey as he tasted Zero's skin._

"_You want him,"_

_Zero couldn't tear his eyes away from Kaname, who was nuzzling him and making all sorts of noises. Even though the attention_ was _wanted, he wanted this so bad _–__

_He couldn't feel a damn thing. _

_It was easy to invent these noises from Kaname's voice, funnily enough he could picture him on his knees like this – but as for Kaname's touch – his hands, his lips, his tongue – they were cold and _– and _–___

_If there was one thing Zero knew for sure, it was what Kaname's hands felt like. Zero bit his lip, shaking his head, "No," he pushed gently at Kaname's head, "I'm sorry, I can't," he whispered, ashamed that he'd let this happen. Kaname wasn't deterred in the slightest. He was adamant in his study of Zero's body, licking persistently up and down to his navel, digging his fingers into the outlines of his prominent ribs. The woman laughed._

"_What are you sorry for? You both want it, don't you?"_

**He**_ wanted it, but Kaname wanted something – or someone else._

… don't you fucking dare take advantage of him...

_That cut through him like a knife. Exactly what Yuuki had told him not to do, and he dared to go there. He felt… god, he felt so ashamed. This wasn't what he wanted. This wasn't who he was. He was better than this._

_A deeper laugh erupted from the corner. __Zero turned to see the woman – not a woman, not anymore – the figure had morphed into a man's shape, it was –_

_Of course it was, _Isamu_._

_But not the Isamu he remembered – his face was twisted into a cruel smirk, his eyes cold and dark and piercing. It sent chills up his spine. He was horrified as Isamu's face then flickered into – many people – Yuuki, Sara, Lady, Juri, Katsuo and Rido – all at once. _

"_You want his heart," the mash-up of these voices hissed, a vindictive sneer brought out from Rido and Katsuo – "You must claw it out-" it turned into Yuuki's pleading face – "-you can't force him, Zero, you aren't-" and then to Sara's cruel smirk – "-what I can do. I will have -" Juri broke through all of them like a beam of sunlight piercing through the clouds, her eyes __rose red and sweet__ and tender, "- you have to be strong sweetheart, you must do what others cannot fathom. It can only be you-" Lady cut her off with a complicated hand-gesture and made the final form her glorious self._

_She came to his side, uncharacteristically solemn and soft in a way that conveyed reluctance. She placed a motherly hand on Kaname's cheek, and one on Zero's shoulder. _"_Is this what you want?" she asked him more gently than any of the others, except perhaps, Juri. Zero glimpsed at Kaname's face, how perfect it was – almost too perfect – and searched himself and found that it still lacked something. Something integral to Kaname, not visibly but something authentic, and ostensibly significant. He was frustrated, he felt_ cheated_ that he could only achieve this delicious opportunity to have Kaname in a dream, and yet, it was not how he wanted it – "Is this what __**he **__wants?" she pressed with more steel, shaking Kaname by the jaw. Zero's mouth opened in protest of the rough handling, but then he saw her hand grow. Her fingers stretched longer and curled to grip Kaname by the throat._

_It was Isamu again. It was so surreal to see his own face – what it looked like distorted by such a malicious sneer. Isamu yanked Kaname to the floor and pressed his face into the curve of Zero's hip. Something danced in his eyes as Kaname instantly sucked in a deep breath and mouthed the skin there, lavishing it into a bruise._

"_Go on," he urged. "Take it,"_

_Zero shook his head vigorously, "No, I won't do it-"_

"_I'm not talking to _you_, you idiot," Isamu snapped, smashing Kaname's face into him, he crooned, "Come on baby, __**take it**__,"_

_Zero frowned in confusion, but before he could say a thing Kaname was grasping him by the hips and hauling them even_ closer._ It was too rough and burned, and not in a nice way. Zero squirmed in his hold, gasping from the sharp pain, but he didn't acknowledge Zero's distress. He didn't care. Zero's struggles increased as he saw Kaname's jaw stretch impossibly wide. His fangs were distended, and Zero's stomach shrank in dread._

_Well, _metaphorically _it shrank. In fact, it was ripped right out of his belly. _

_As he bled, as he collapsed to the floor, he __managed __to catch sight of the organ Kaname held between his teeth, and dimly thought it rather strange – why, that wasn't his stomach at all, that was his heart._

* * *

><p>And then he woke up and all he could see was Kaname's bloody mouth, his beating heart and blood everywhere. It was so similar to his childhood nightmares that Zero found himself instinctively snapping up his gun which had been resting on the night table where Benomi left it. He was shaking all over, and wet – no – <em>soaked <em>in sweat. He could feel the hollow ache of the phantom wound, the crippling fear kept him so tightly wound that the muscles in his right leg and feet cramped up. It rippled right through to the marrow of his bones.

He couldn't control his breaths. It was the shock of that ending. Because of it, he didn't expect to have the same embarrassing 'situation' down _there_ as of last time, but despite it, he was horrified to find that sweat wasn't the only thing covering him.

Zero expected confusion to kick in after the shock – or panic, one or the other. The rush of fear-horror-excitement was sure to end up in a conniption fit. But as his heart-rate slowed and his breathing steadied, his mind became more lucid than panicked, and everything calmed down after that. The change was so abrupt that he had to just sit and absorb the situation a little bit more before he could really start to think.

Knowing for a fact that this dream was almost certainly devised by either Lady or Juri helped him to focus. Every detail – every smell, touch and image was seared into his brain, like in the previous dream. The content of these dreams was starting to make him wonder whether it was that _he_ who had the dirty mind, or was it right to blame Lady and Juri for providing him with such burning curiosity? Could he be blamed when they dangled Kaname in front of him like a piece of meat?

He had never had this problem before. Carnal urges didn't exist in his 'thing he had' for Yuuki, only sweet touches and admiration from afar.

But.

But this was different. This was Kaname, who lived and breathed sensuality. It wasn't difficult to think about Kaname that way. And now that he _had _felt these urges, he could see the appeal in losing yourself to someone else, in trusting someone to deliver you to the heights of pleasure from their touch alone, and pleasuring someone else in the same way… it was the epitome of give and take. Well, _lust_ would be the selfish desire to simply take, take, take. The urge to _give_ pleasure implied something deeper, something _more_. Zero remembered how he'd breathed life into Kaname, having to draw upon his memory of Kaname's hands to feel them on his skin. It was infuriating having to add these details for himself, and then finding out how little he really knew. He didn't really _know _what Kaname looked like consumed in lust, or what it felt like to be devoured by his mouth or have him on his knees. Suddenly, Zero _wanted._

He flushed at himself – he _wanted _to know Kaname like _that._

The horrifying thought that they all _knew_ his desires – Lady, Juri, Yuuki, _Isamu_… made him want to hide in shame, because _what_. Since when did he – how long had he not known this was what he wanted? It was like unearthing something – seeing it, _recognising _it. Realising it had been there all along. How typical was it that he'd be the last to know what was so obvious to everyone else.

Sara's attack uncovered it. By ripping him apart she forced him to heal himself and in doing so, helped him reunite his mind with his heart – silver lining. So far in his life he'd always paid more attention to the side of logic rather than _heart, _because it was easier to understand. Life as a Hunter relied on being harsh and realistic, it was rarely based on feeling. It had been difficult at first, to forget his heart as a child, narrowing his world into _doing,_ not feeling. Never considering what he was left with in the end, because then he would pity how little he had. In the long run it had saved him, but as an adult things were less black-and-white, cut-and-dry. He was shocked to discover that beneath it all, that which was forgotten still lived. It was still beating – harder than it ever had, for someone he'd started off hating… after introducing the possibility of _love_ into the equation, it drew everything to a stunning revelation.

He wanted Kaname. Under what precise terms – he was still not completely certain, but it was a powerful feeling. One he couldn't help but surrender to.

Love had tricked him, tricked him in the illusion of a friendship.

From the moment Zero gave up their rivalry, he should've known he would be getting more than he'd bargained for. It was always that way with Kaname – he underestimated how charming he could be. He refused to accept that he could also be swayed by him. In fact, Zero was often pushed him far beyond what he was comfortable with when Kaname factored in the deal – yet he _still _did it, and it showed him the depths he was willing to go and the seemingly limitless reaches of their potential. Taking that chance to change from enemies into friends had torn his world right open –

And now he didn't know how to cope without Kaname – and what he was meant to _do _now he was ruled by something he didn't know if he could trust. Yagari always accused him of being emotionally naive, of being easily swayed by his gentle heart. It was true, his judgement on matters of the heart was purely juvenile. Kaname had had _time _to get used to these feelings – _plenty _of time, over_ ten millennia_ to become better acquainted with them than Zero would ever be; to Zero this was a brand new adventure. Uncharted waters – unclaimed land – a mysterious stranger to him, so intriguing and –

A damn _perfect _puzzle for his inquisitive mind, and strange and beautiful enough to captivate his heart.

Zero's eyes slid listlessly to the side. There was something different about the room.

He was alone. No Benomi – no one to see him wallow miserably, flailing at the deep side of the _ocean_. Zero cursed himself, wondering why of all times his teenage freaking drama had to happen _now._ In the middle of a godforsaken war. For crying out _loud._

He rolled onto his other side, refusing to admit that he definitely pining now, and sulking to boot. The more he tried to estimate how deep these feelings went, how long ago they'd started – the more he saw how it had crucially determined every breath he'd taken for the better part of a decade, every single beat of his heart.

Zero paused to contemplate the meaning of the dream's finale, which had been quite frankly, gruesome. Why, just – why? That vicious scene was something _he _had fabricated, mere hours before he'd laughed at the mere notion of Kaname ever being able to hurt him. This contradicted himself so explicitly that his very blood ran cold through his veins as though he'd lost most of it from the dream. Yet he'd still he'd managed to climax. The evidence of that was enough to cause his fingers to unknowingly trail down to brush tentatively over his stomach, comforting himself in finding the skin smooth and whole – and sticky. He still found Kaname tantalising on his knees, and looked back on the image of his bloody teeth with nothing more than curiosity. It should be disturbing that he found the sight of his blood on Kaname arousing, but... he slid his hands down to his hips, tenderly rubbing the soreness away with some reluctance.

And then holy shit. _He could move._

Zero's fingers froze. And then he was moving – cataloguing every movement he could make – blinking, toe-wiggling, kicking, flexing – _everything. _He gasped in delight, and then began cackling madly. With a sudden burst of elation, he lurched forwards into a sitting position and then swung his legs to overhang the mattress. He still had to lean heavily on his locked arms, but being able to move had never felt so glorious.

Head-rush, though, made him have to sit still for a moment to catch his breath. He squinted at the window across from himself. In the mirror the glass created, he saw himself. Obviously it reminded him of Isamu in the dream, where he'd appeared for the first time to Zero as – well, an _enemy_ really. In there he had been aggressive, sadistic – nothing like the Isamu he remembered. Was jealousy distorting his view of Isamu? Probably. Isamu sounded so jealous in the dream. Was that what he looked like then? It had been by Isamu's command that made Kaname claw out his stomac– his _heart_, hadn't it? Seeing Isamu in the moment when Kaname ripped it out, he'd seen _himself – grinning _in sadistic pleasure. And when Isamu had ordered he, '_Take it,' … _wait a second.

When he'd said '_Take it,'_… it hadn't been Isamu's voice, but…Juri's maybe? He _thought_ so. Something pushed him to believe that was so, and now _that_ was disturbing – her voice, usually sweet and calm, disguised to not sound like hers. But yes, there had been a flash of feminine beauty in that moment of speech, so fleeting he barely saw it. What was it she was saying then?

"_Come on baby, __**take it**__,"_

Oh. _Oh_. He understood now. He finally _got it_. Maybe Isamu being _jealous, _him getting heart ripped out – it all meant something. Isamu was jealous that he could be alive when he couldn't, and he could be… with _Kaname._ Juri knew it too, so maybe this was a clue. Maybe she was _urging _him to take the chance – seize the opportunity. If that wasn't a blessing, he didn't know what was.

Zero bit his lip to contain a smile. He was buzzing with anticipation, _teeming _with it. His current priority now was finding Kaname. He gripped the edge of the mattress, clinging with his fingertips to get himself standing. He weighed little now since he had lost weight, but his muscles he had left were withered too so it was an effort to stand, and more to balance. Once he was on his feet though, he swelled with renewed determination, and then lost his feet.

And was sent tumbling to the ground.

The bathroom door opened.

Zero's head snapped up in surprise, having not been aware that there _was _someone else in the room all this time. Bloody Rose had clattered to the ground too, thankfully under safety and perfectly harmless upon impact with the floor. He peered up at Kaname in disdain.

The Pureblood's expression was completely blank. Zero didn't know if that meant Kaname was simply stunned by his ineptness or if he was truly unimpressed by it. He flushed either way under Kaname's eyes foraging for clues to his fall, all his bravado from before dwindling into a mess of nerves. This was the fucked up side of love. If it was meant to make you be good, why did it make you feel like a fool in front of the person you were trying to impress? Wasn't that unproductive to the whole process?

Kaname let them stew in an awkward silence for a good few seconds, during which Zero picked himself up and brushed himself off without so much as looking once at him. Kaname then shook himself from whatever daze he was in and came to check Zero over for himself. As he approached, Zero tensed up on instinct. After being mauled by dream-Kaname, it was only natural for him to be wary. But as Kaname walked, as he moved with his natural fluidity and grace, all his wariness left him. This was the real Kaname who _moved _like he should and had the right colour eyes, and even if his expression was deadpan it was a _stoic _type of deadpan that meant his emotions were tightly concealed beneath.

Kaname's fingers on his wrist still managed to gain a shiver from him though. The way he held his wrist was odd, but that was only because he was taking his pulse. He shot Kaname a "_really?" _glare. The blank mask briefly vanished to reveal amusement, but then it was back on, tight as a tick.

"You're alright," Kaname observed. Zero snorted in answer, but Kaname glared at him fiercely. He waited a while, but Kaname seemed to be expecting him to speak first. Zero was just as determined to wait Kaname out, so finally his patience dwindled, revealing a concerned head-tilt, "I was worried," he admitted.

"Oh," Zero was confused, yet elated by this, and tried not to show the latter too readily. "About…?"

Kaname was knocked for six, "_About_ you being taken apart by that filthy witch, _remember?"_

"I think you mean that filthy _bitch_," Zero quirked a brow, "_Taken apart_? Try fucking 'mind-raped'. That's what I'd call it,"

Kaname's forehead creased and he stepped closer, placing hands on his shoulders. "Are you alright? You're much better than I would have expected, given what happened – what _did _happen?"

The intensity of his dissecting gaze was heady, making it very difficult to think clearly. Zero tried to explain to Kaname the type of paralysis he'd gone through, where his body was fucked up and everything hurt. He mentioned Benomi, who cared for him, and his curious absence in passing, and then how he'd woken pretty much A-okay but alone. Kaname's face by the end of it was going through too many expressions so fast he looked like a mime. Then his breath rushed out in one long exhale and he clutched Zero's shoulders tighter, as though to draw strength from feeling that he was real and alive and well. Zero's mind instantly went from _Kaname's hands_ to the comforting (_right_) pressure of them on his shoulders to the lingering twinge bruised hipbones gave at his every movement. It was distracting enough for Kaname to mutter something under his breath and him to miss it completely.

"It must have been awful," Kaname whispered, ducking his head in apology – oh no. No, this wasn't his fault – "But from what you described, there _is _a silver lining, even from this. I hope it is enough," Kaname sat them both down on the bed, swivelling to face him, "That she still does not know a thing,"

"But she got inside my _head-_"

"She hurt you, yes, but that was all," Kaname explained calmly, "The equivalent of knifing you in an alley and leaving you for dead. Yes, it was horrible and you're lucky to be alive, but it wasn't anything more than that. She didn't hang around long enough to snoop,"

"But _why?_ Why would she leave without – without–"

"Because she doesn't _know_, Zero. You're still safe. She felt Isaya's mind from where you were standing and panicked," Zero wasn't convinced. He could still see her moving to kiss Kaname, like she _knew _someone was watching and was putting on a show, "I assume you know what she is up to? Benomi told me he had informed you of her gambit,"

He nodded grimly, "Bitch has been playing us all along," Kaname sighed.

"What could we do but give her the benefit of the doubt? We needed her – we still do, but never mind. Now that we know better, we can assess the situation more objectively,"

"We're fucked,"

"Not yet," Kaname smiled remotely, "Not completely. I've been evaluating our remaining options thoroughly. We are still outnumbered in every way. We still wait on your Weapon, and are therefore, unable to do much,"

"Fucked," Zero reiterated, but Kaname grinned, and he finally thought he was as mad as Isaya.

"We have many obstacles now, more than ever, but it isn't over yet. If you analyse the way Sara acted, you can see how out of character she was – as you say, she wouldn't have left you without a good rummage through your brain if there wasn't something stopping her. She's hesitating because there is something holding her back. We don't know what it is, but perhaps she has reached her limit with Rido and is attempting to turn to us for protection, or peace of mind,"

Zero's eyes narrowed as he quickly caught thread of what he was saying. "She's a conniving, spineless _whore_,"

Kaname continued, "Perhaps she feels threatened by Rido, she's starting to see that her choices were not well thought out. Rido is manipulative and cunning. He's most likely found a way to make her believe she'd get what she wanted, but now she's seeing that was a ploy, and she's less likely to escape him with her life. Sara is a coward, Zero, in the end death frightens her too much for her to not rethink her options.

"She knows we don't trust her, maybe she even knows we're onto her, but we are her only hope and she is desperate. She knows we can be forgiving. We have no real proof that she has done anything untoward yet, which is why she was lenient in your 'mind-rape' because the situation is _salvageable_ and she wouldn't want to ruin it-"

"Kaname, _no_," Zero blurted, suddenly seeing more days of Kaname subjected to Sara – this time though, it would be _her _grovelling to Kaname, but that still meant she'd be touching him all over –

"- she wouldn't dare do you more harm, and since we put Benomi in the Infirmary as a decoy, she won't go looking for you. Her punishment can be counted as a generous pardon on her behalf, as self-defence since _we _have attempted to 'spy' on her,"

Zero's jaw opened and closed. "What's _wrong_ with you? Did you just call that 'punishment' being _generous_?"

"It was," Kaname said bluntly, "It could have been so much worse. Count your blessings. And at least she's none the wiser,"

"How can you know that for sure?" Zero grumbled, trying to not let himself get too pissed.

"She lashed out. She rarely does such a thing. Panicked as she was, she was less discreet with her telepathy, and I can read her more easily when her mind control isn't at its best. She wouldn't risk it,"

Zero slid off the bed to – to _pace_, like Kaname often did. He needed to be moving around. He was staggering under the weight of all this. Again – it was baseless information he had no confidence in. "So…" he griped, searching for something to grasp onto – "What do we do now?"

"You should rest. Even if you have miraculously healed, I want you fully recovered before you continue with your search," Kaname stood – and _then _Zero noticed something he really should seen off the bat – "Isaya and I will be keeping a close eye on Sara at all times, so you don't – Zero?"

But Zero wasn't listening to him anymore. _How _could he, when he hadn't even noticed – Kaname blatantly wearing a towel, and _nothing else_? That was a crime against nature. Against all life's rules – he had to be _blind_ not to have seen that – but when he'd come out of the bathroom there had been a cloud of steam – but this was _still_ inexcusable. He'd been focused on their conversation. His _thoughts_, as always, occupied too much concentration. He'd completely failed to notice the naked man stood before him in a freaking towel, and that was a fucking tragedy.

Jesus Christ. Zero fell on his ass on the bed, flummoxed by his lacking observation skills. He wanted to cover his eyes, but couldn't – he _couldn't _**not** look at Kaname's dripping body. Especially when he had never realised how muscular Kaname was because he'd never seen him out of _clothes_. In Zero's dream he'd imagined him to be much more slender and lean, but Kaname had quite some muscle in his arms and legs and definition in his abdomen that put Zero's to shame.

"-ro? Zero, you're worrying me again," the pissed-off tone turned his attention to Kaname's worried gaze. He scowled by default.

"_God_, put some clothes on! For goodness' sake," he shoved past Kaname to the seating area, flustered beyond belief. The air smelt less of Kaname there, the smell of his soap had diffused throughout the room. But it was inescapable nonetheless, as was everything about him. When he dared glance back at Kaname, he found him still _naked_, "Come on, man! A little decency, _please,"_

Kaname marched over to him in long strides, as always making a performance out of the mundane. His mask was gone, Zero had no idea why, and he stopped in front of Zero's cringing form. As he leant over, a blast of minty breath assaulted Zero and sapped the little remaining courage he'd had from before. What had he been thinking – trying to '_get' _Kaname. Like he could function in this sort of situation, let alone _flirt._

"Am I not decent?" Kaname's wet hair curled forwards, heavy with water and a sweet scent of shampoo. It dripped onto his chest, an unavoidable distraction that wet Zero's Sahara-dry tongue with saliva. He knew he could put distance between them if he wanted to – but it wasn't so easy. Not with Kaname's intent gaze – his glittering carmine eyes pinning him in place. Kaname sniffed the air, a speculative expression flitting over his face before he returned to Zero with an even more curious look. Zero frowned, anticipating something drastic and was met with Kaname grinning slyly, "Had a nice dream?"

His blood rushed north this time, he could tell he was cherry-faced, because oh god Kaname had _smelt _him. Covering up would do nothing – the evidence was plain in the air.

There were a limited number of ways to go about this.

Zero could dive under the covers and hide till Kaname went away. He could blaspheme in Kaname's face and storm off. He could wait in awkward silence for more ribbing and a promise that he would never live it down.

Or he could man up and face the music.

He planted his hands on his sticky hips and lifted his chin.

"It's _perfectly natural_, Kaname," he asserted, trying to ignore how Kaname's contagious grin was somehow making him want to smile too, the scheming bastard, "Of course. _You _might not know that,"

"Why me?" Kaname was definitely smirking now, "How can you be so sure?"

Zero froze, unsure of what he was supposed to say next.

Then he scrunched up his face in annoyance, "Don't sass me – I'm not gonna – do this little," he held up inverted-commas fingers, "'_Witty banter'_ shit with you. Just put on some clothes and shut the fuck up," the grin ultimately broke through, though it didn't match his sharp tone. Despite this being sadly the closest Zero had ever gotten to the realms of flirting or 'witty banter' _in his life_, it was still sort of fun while it lasted. Kaname chuckled, which he counted a success, but as he pulled back – Zero went with him, instinctively. The light-hearted humour had restored his confidence – he'd _seen _the look in Kaname's eyes when he'd smelt him. He knew on some level, he wanted him too – regardless of Isamu. Zero took this golden opportunity and boldly leaned into Kaname, the air was much warmer still steaming off his skin, and he could see the sheen of the water rolling off. It hit him then that the last time he'd been this close to Kaname had been their kiss, and he'd been so distraught by the end of it that he'd pushed Kaname away and _hurt _him.

Hurt them both. He'd thought hurting himself was like hurting Kaname because he had wormed his way under his skin, but now he thought maybe Kaname wasn't _under _his skin, maybe he _was _his skin. He held him together – he _protected _Zero from things he knew would harm him, even if Zero didn't think they would. He was overprotective and inescapable. He was the most important thing in keeping Zero alive.

Zero bit his lip, hoping his spontaneously sentimental insight wasn't being picked up by Kaname – oh shit. Had Kaname had seen his dream? _Was he there whilst he was sleeping – _oh god, he'd said before that they'd be sleeping in the same room, so –

"Zero?"

Zero was a hair's breadth away from full-on panic again, but he just _went for it_. Closing his eyes and trusting Kaname to be there, he blindly lunged forwards a step, hands held out to brace himself on Kaname's chest –

But he never made it there.

His hands were caught and Kaname took a big step back from him. What the fuck? His eyes snapped open, and Kaname was avoiding his gaze an arm's length from him. He let go of his hands the instant he knew he was watching him again. _What the fuck?_ Zero began to panic again. Had he read the mood wrong? He knew he was a complete novice in this arena, and maybe he wasn't exactly a Casanova with the seduction skills either, but – what – but what had he done _wrong?_ Did Kaname change his mind? If anything, from the last time, Zero assumed his kiss would be welcomed quite willingly. _What was he not doing right?_

"Zero," spoken softly, so kindly it curdled Zero's anxiety into flat-out rejection. Even inexperienced as he was, Zero knew that tone. He hadn't expected it, but he _should _have. It stung, and he was left not knowing what to do, other than retreat and try to forget. Pray Kaname would be kind enough to forget it too. "_Zero_," Kaname uttered again, tinged with pity.

He didn't want pity.

He backed away with his had hung, staring at his feet and the floor dismally so he wouldn't have to see what pity looked like on Kaname's face. It was still probably beautiful, in an aching sort of way. He couldn't bear to see it, and made a strangled sound when Kaname reached for him –

How dare he reach for him after a stunt like that?

Zero staggered away on his weak, unstable legs like a newborn foal, unaccustomed yet to the weight of a man enraged. A man retreating with his tail between his legs. He knew Kaname was following him, and it made him angry that he was acting all apologetic when it wasn't what he wanted. He'd _embarrassed _him. Lead him on – Zero grunted as he was met with an invisible wall. His feet wouldn't detach from the floor. No amount of strength could get them free. He bristled as Kaname's hand landed on his shoulder.

"**No**," he roared before Kaname could speak, shocking them both by how like a wounded animal he sounded. Kaname instantly pulled back, but didn't release him. He barked out a harsh, humourless laugh. Kaname was staring down at him as if he was speaking Greek to him and _he couldn't take it_. He was at the end of his tether, "If you didn't – you could've just _said_ so – I've been _trying, _damn it, not to play with _you. _If you're gonna mess with me…" he shook his head, dodging Kaname's next hand, "Just let me go, _please_," he gritted out, staring resolutely away from him, "With what little dignity you've left me,"

Kaname released him at once.

Zero zoomed past him, into the bathroom accidentally – he'd gone for the first door he passed – and locked it behind him. He leant against it, tracking Kaname's movements behind the door. He heard nothing for a good few seconds, then the whistle blow of wind that indicated him moving around at Pureblood speed, and then nothing again. He must have gone.

Alone, he let out a huge groan of despair and stumbled towards the glass-paned shower-bath. Leaning against the divider he banged his forehead against it repeatedly. The pain was a good. He waited for a while before he opened his eyes, and then he was ready to peel himself away from the glass and go back to the room to flop on the bed and mope. But then.

He saw a handprint on the steamed up glass next to his forehead smudges. It was only partial, probably where Kaname gripped the edge as he got out. Zero was intrigued by its shape, so unnatural and yet he knew exactly the position Kaname's hand had been in. Barely conscious of it, he wrapped his fingers in its place, imagining Kaname's there minutes ago. Fuck. He was so fucking done. Zero turned around and found him caught again by his reflection in the mirror. It was a culmination of everything that had happened mounting together – seeing that face twisted in pain – twisted in pity and merciless delight – he saw _Isamu_, and suddenly the blame was all on _him._

And before he could think – the wrath of his bleeding heart had him in pieces – and he grabbed a soap dish and lobbed it at the mirror – and hit it again and again till it _shattered_.

The mirror was gone. Zero panted. He didn't feel better, but at least he didn't have to see that _face_ again. The noise of the shards raining onto the counter and making a mess there ought to have drawn Kaname back, if not the scent of bloo- of blood. Zero clenched his hands, unclenched them – he'd... he'd imagined taking the soap dish. It was still there, perfectly unbroken on the counter. It was his knuckles that were in tatters. It was more satisfying. He revelled in the smell of blood and pain, and imagined it was Isamu feeling it.

The fresh blood would bring Kaname back, and he'd find just him there. Him. And he would fuss over Zero's hand and lick it clean.

Eventually, Zero left Kaname's rooms when Kaname didn't come back.

He'd waited till the blood had dried.

* * *

><p>Aimlessly wandering, trying to work his legs a bit and get some distance from the room, Zero picked at the bandages he'd wrapped over his hands. It was shoddy, but the special material prevented the smell of blood escaping. It was heavily scented with roses – go figure. He meandered through the many shadows, eyes and ears alert to movement, because it was nearing night time again and there was darkness everywhere which widened the area he could sneak about in, but meant there were others in the dark with him.<p>

He turned a corner and halted.

Kain and Aidou were heading towards him.

They hadn't seen him yet, but they would soon. He didn't have time to turn back, so he just crouched behind a large vase and prayed they wouldn't see him. It didn't sound like they had. In fact, they were talking so loudly at each other they wouldn't notice if he danced naked around them in a circle. They had to be arguing, and to his surprise, it was Kain's voice which was making most of the racket. He'd never heard him raise his voice so loud. Zero peeked through the vase handle at them – they had stopped a good thirty yards from him and he could hear their quarrel clearly now.

"…you haven't even – I just don't get it. _Why _can't you talk to me? Have I done something recently to make you doubt me-"

"It isn't you," Aidou brushed him off, "Don't be silly,"

"I'm _not _being silly! _You're _being silly. There's something off about the way you're behaving," Kain insisted heatedly, grabbing him by the shoulders, "And I don't like it. If it's something to do with the Bond – you can talk to me about it. You _should – _that's kinda what I'm _here _for. _Please_, Aidou. I can't take this silence anymore-"

"It's nothing!"

"Look me in the eyes and say that again,"

Aidou did so, which baited Kain again.

"You're lying. Something is bothering you-"

"There isn't! You know what is bothering me? _You!"_ Aidou finally snapped, rising up. There was a tense silence, and then Aidou visibly deflated and Kain's hands slip to his biceps to his hands. Aidou turned his head to the side, squirming under Kain's attention, but he at last settled down and met his gaze again, defiantly... until he decided to concede to Kain's insistence, "Okay, I do feel a little… _different. _But it's not that bad,"

Kain snorted loudly, "_Something_ is bothering you though. What bugs me is that you aren't constantly whining,"

_Aidou _snorted, "You miss my whining?"

"No fucking way, but some things, you just _need _to know the world is still spinning. You should be driving me crazy with going on about how weird you feel. You're a _scientist_. You love poking at things and nattering to me about stuff I don't get – I sure as hell don't get _you_, so start talking. _W__here _is this? Where are _you_?"

Aidou grimaced, "I – it's… it's quite fascinating really. But not what I'd thought it would be – regardless of the fact that it is still incomplete. I… I don't feel very much,"

Kain's face dropped, like an open book they saw what he'd been excited for. Zero watched Aidou react to his cousin's disappointment with confusion, reaching up to place a tentative hand on Kain's cheek. "Why are you sad?" his eyes widened, "Did you think it was hurting me all this time?"

Kain smiled wanly, "No. Well… I _hoped_ you didn't… but I thought you'd regret it, nonetheless," his face, even from the side, was visibly torn, "I mean, I didn't ask for your permission. It to save you, but it's my fault that we're stuck like this forever… I only thought it'd be okay because, well, we're _already _always together. So I thought this wouldn't be much different…"

"You're right," Aidou stroked his hand uncharacteristically gently through Kain's hair, "You're absolutely right. Nothing will change," he asserted, expecting to see Kain pleased by him saying this.

Instead the fire-master remained solemn. Aidou huffed.

"What is it _now_, you big baby?" he snapped, cuffing him on the ear. "I thought you'd be happy, but – what do you want me to say? That I forgive you? There's nothing to be sorry for – I'm perfectly fine with this, dumbass!"

"I just thought you'd feel _something_!" Kain yelled in exasperation, "Something_ – anything _from our Bond. That would be better than if there is nothing. That means there's _nothing_ between us, right? Maybe that's good, maybe we needed to get that out in the air – we've just stuck together for _convenience_. Isn't that right, Aidou?" Aidou recoiled like he'd been slapped, back hitting the wall as Kain descended, "I…" the fire-master lost speed at his little cousin's bewildered expression, lost fire as he slumped all too quickly in resignation. "I just wanted _more_. I thought there had to _be _more between us. Guess I was wrong,"

Aidou was noticeably shaking, whether from anger or fear, Zero wasn't sure.

And then, out of the blue –

They were kissing, _furiously kissing_. Zero was confused and vaguely disgusted – but he couldn't look away. Aidou had all but yanked Kain by the throat to bend him to his height and the fire-master looked like he was trying to python-wrap Aidou in his arms. The heat, the passion of their embrace had Zero's face flaming, but it was the 'after-kiss' that suddenly seemed too intrusive to watch. They ripped apart with an audible wet noise, which made Zero's nose wrinkle in distaste, but then they were all sappy-eyed and he thought he saw they crying too.

Aidou caught Kain's collapsing weight, steadying him as he panted. "I said I didn't feel _very_ different_. _I have _always_ felt like this. I've liked being close to you, whether it was with the Bond or without – I just – it's always been _there_. I didn't know. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry-"

"You mean-"

"- I assumed it was normal for me to always want to touch you," he was babbling now, "I always have. Even when we were little – not in an icky way, but – I mean – you wanted Ruka for a _long _time, and I didn't want to interfere. And then you wanted no one, and it was just normal to not give in-"

"_Hana_,"

Again, they met in a mesh of lips and tongues, fitting together so tightly Zero could literally see steam rising from where their bodies touched. Even though he really, _really _wanted to stop looking, it took a few minutes before he found he could get himself to move away from the passionate display. It was just – as he watched them frantically kissing each other, whispering to each other… Zero was filled with such an ache, it made all the colours in the world seem to fade.

* * *

><p>He should be taking it easy. He should be going back to bed – but he wasn't. He needed to <em>walk<em>. The stiffness in his body was still there, and he was restless from it. After seeing those two as well – he just had to see some new scenery and forget about it.

Man, it had got him riled up. Not in a good way either, because he was all of a sudden _aware _of how alone he really was.

This solitude – being kept away from everyone but Kaname and Isaya – was the _real_ punishment. It was maddening to be left alone with his thoughts. With unwanted images playing in his head like a never-ending movie reel. He knew this was the descent to madness. He was losing touch with people, but _reality_, mainly. His world had shrunk to him, the Weapon, _Isamu_ and Kaname – it all revolved around Kaname in the end.

He was _lonely_.

Zero never thought he'd crack like this. He thought he could easily cope with being alone – if only for the fact that he was _often_ alone. But as cliche as it was, there _was_ a difference between loneliness and being alone. Loneliness meant feeling empty, _starved_ of contact. Maybe the dream was a result of that yearning – he was trying to leech some comfort from the person he relied on the most at the moment (even though this person imposed the solitude in the first place). With no one around him, no one who could see him or even know he was there – other than two people he _really _wasn't up to seeing at the moment – who could he turn to?

Zero shuffled along, clutching his arms in the semblance of an embrace. He was barely keeping it together anymore. Kaname's face taunted him, the fact that he'd not returned after the mirror– he wasn't _useless_. He didn't _need _Kaname to be there, but just for the fact that he wasn't…

He hoped Kaname _loved_ that mirror.

He'd really lost it there. That was something Zero wasn't proud of – how quick he was to temper sometimes – but recently he'd been getting worse at keeping it under control. Just seeing himself – seeing Isamu there in the mirror… it broke something in him. He couldn't be that person Kaname wanted, never mind how much he'd like to take his place – never mind how alike they looked. He was Zero, not Isamu. He wanted to bring him to life just so he could kill him.

That honestly shocked him, more than that – it thrilled him. The idea of it. Zero was sure he'd never been bloodthirsty but Isamu had changed him. He wanted him gone, he wanted Kaname to see _him_ and there not to be any confusion anymore, because the sheer fact was that Isaya was always there, blocking him from his goals whether they be Kaname or the Weapon – even Isaya mistook him for Isamu all the fucking time. Zero wasn't sure if it was out of pure fun or to spite him, but Isaya refused to call him by his real name – and he was half of the two people he could talk to at the moment. The other half – Kaname – called him '_Zero' _but then confused him with Isamu at the worst of times – like just before a kiss.

He was like a ghost now, haunting the castle unseen and unheard – his very identity was being washed away by a real dead person, and he was taking Isamu's place as the resident fucking _ghost_.

Zero barely registered the fact that he was storming carelessly into lit areas now, practically making as much noise and effort to be seen and heard by running – forgetting the rules in his desperation to be _seen_ and _heard_.

He found himself bumping into someone really, really hard.

Smacked onto his ass, he panted on the floor till he was offered a hand and carelessly took it.

"Zero!"

Immediately he latched onto the person who called his name, gasping in relief as he was met with a fierce hug and _recognition_. Zero relaxed into it, sagging and almost sobbing in gratitude. It was when he hooked his chin on their shoulder and glanced up over it, when he saw that _person _behind them, and he _saw_ **fucking **_**red**_.

Isamu.

* * *

><p>It was liberating really – letting himself go apeshit on that bastard's face and seeing it open up in fear a fraction of a second before his fist made impact.<p>

But _damn_. Isamu's face was hard as concrete, and his already sore knuckles almost shattered upon impact. He bounced off him like a ping-pong ball and then Zero somewhat laughably crumpled to the floor, hissing over his new injuries with the ferocity of a vexed kitten.

Kaito watched all of this like a Looney-Tunes re-run, eyes going back-and-forth between Zero bouncing off his hilariously unmoving brother each time and landing on the floor, then hissing and leaping up to try the whole thing again. It was the most bizarre thing he'd ever laid eyes on, and he was quite content to sit back and enjoy the madness, eager to watch a on the sidelines like the ditsy granny who quite happily cheered them on for the sheer buzz of it, but secretly had no idea what was happening.

But enough was enough when blood was spilt – for fuck's sake, the boys _knew _they were in a den full of Vamps, how careless could they be? And it was, upon checking, _Zero's _blood in the air – the skin on his knuckles split from the last cuff to Ichiru's jaw. And Kaito was shocked to see the madness in Zero's eyes – he didn't care one bit about the injury, he was quite prepared to keep throwing himself at Ichiru till he was black and blue. What the _fuck_ had brought this on? These brothers _love_ each other!

He scrambled his ass into gear then, throwing himself between Zero and unbeatable-Ichiru, and strait-jacketed Zero with his arms to stop him hurting them both.

"Whoa, whoa, _whoa,"_ he shoved him to the wall and held him there with – one arm – _geez, seriously what the fu – _"What's with you? Calm down. _Seriously_, man," he pinned Zero there till his breathing started to hiccup and his huge eyes shiny with _tears_ turned on him, pleading for him to _understand_. "What's up with you? A simple '_Hello'_ would suffice. This – chest-bumping – is kinda... _full-on _lovin' for us, don't'cha think?" he joked, but Zero was having none of it.

He was still on Ichiru and started throwing himself against Kaito to get to him. He pushed Zero back till he could feel his heart pounding underneath his ribcage. He was like a dog caught scent of a rabbit – adrenaline-high and not willing to give up the chase.

"Stop it – Zero, _stop_," he snarled, not finding the situation funny anymore. Zero was not the type to lose himself like this, something was really wrong because _attacking his baby brother?_ He shouldn't have laughed at it. This was way out of line, plain _crazy_ for Zero, who would more likely die than harm Ichiru. He crowded around to block Ichiru from view – gobsmacked when this simple diversion worked in calming Zero down. It was downright infantile this method, and yet it had worked. Zero shut his eyes and hiccuped miserably, the corner of his lips turned down dejectedly. "Jesus, man. What's got into you?"

"It's _him,"_ Zero whispered brokenly, and Christ – he didn't know how to cope with tears – ever. Especially from Zero – his man without sissy feelings he _relied on_ to keep cool in times of trouble. With Zero resorting to a childish '_He started it first' _argument, Kaito was thrown for a loop.

"What – Ichiru? What's he done to you now? I've been with him all this time," he asked anxiously, throwing a curious look at Ichiru. The other twin returned his look with a shrug. A little cold as a response, but he couldn't blame him for being pissed at his brother. That was no way to greet your brother. Zero shook his head pitifully, his eyes glistening. Shit, he was crying. Kaito almost hightailed it out of there at the first sight of tears, which on _Zero _genuinely frightened him more than anything else... but he was _Zero._

"He's _Isamu_," Zero answered, as though that explained anything, and craned his neck to look past him. Kaito wouldn't allow it. Whoever the heck this '_Isamu' _was, he couldn't let Zero get worked up again. Not when he was already so… wait, upon closer scrutiny he could definitely see an improvement in Zero's health, even though he'd sustained some bruising from launching himself at Ichiru repeatedly, he looked a lot better underneath. Still skin-and-bones but he looked like he'd healed almost back to what he used to be.

"Whatever beans you've got with your brother, you can talk it out peacefully. I… never thought I'd say something like that," Kaito frowned, but brushed this away, "But calm down. Look at me Zero, look at me," Zero did, with a little more acknowledgment, "Good. Now tell big brother what's wrong? You don't hurt Ichiru like this – ever. Are you going through some anger management issues? Are the Vamps riling you up again? Because I think I can take back my offer from before," he grinned, "You can come with me now, and we can leave Ichiru in your place, hmm? He's – Zero you should'a seen him! He's a Hunting _machine. _I don't know what happened since he was gone, but you wouldn't believe it if I told you! Anyway, we can leave him here to do your job and we can leave this place, I bet you're scratching the walls-"

"NO," Zero yelled, wrestling with him again. Kaito easily contained it, though it threw him again – Zero's explosivity. What was it about Ichiru that was upsetting him so much?

"Hey, calm the fuck down would you?" he barked, losing his patience, and generally freaking out a bit over how weak Zero was that he could restrain him with one hand. And come to think of it – Ichiru was also unaffected by Zero's beating. Was Zero really weak, or was Ichiru freakishly strong? What the hell? "It'll be okay, seriously – he'll be fine. I don't know how or why, but Ichiru's _badass _now – _man_, he was really _cool_! I found him in your little Human Town knocking back Es like they were fucking flies – he wasn't even using a gun and they were down fifty by the time I got there. And then he finished them _all _off, man. It was beautiful,"

"Something's not right about him," Zero insisted. Kaito laughed.

"Yeah, you're telling me! I dunno what got him there, but he's finally got his big-boy Hunter-panties on, and he's almost as good as _you_ were!" In fact, he'd watched Ichiru's clean, precise Hunting technique with something akin to awe. It was almost a spiritual experience, like the first time he saw Zero fighting – he was entranced by how obviously superior the Kiryuu's were – skills born into them by blood but etched into them from their sheer hard work and practise made them the top dogs. He wasn't kidding – it _was _beautiful.

Zero didn't seem to think so, though, and his face clouded. Oops. Maybe saying that Zero was no longer as good as before was a bit below the belt – Kaito flinched.

But then a hand came out over his shoulder and dropped onto Zero's. Zero would have screamed in outrage had Kaito not slammed a hand over his mouth. It was Ichiru, peering at him with an odd look. To be honest, Kaito _was _a little freaked out about Ichiru's sudden turn-around, but something stopped him from thinking about it too much. His thoughts turned to something else, so he simply accepted Ichiru's new skills and forgot about their miraculous appearance.

"Hey," he told Ichiru, "Your nii-chan is acting up a bit. Go take ten, I'll be with you in a bit. Get me a sandwich, alright?" Ichiru nodded, releasing Zero and disappearing into the shadows. When Zero bit his thumb, he released with a grunt. "How old are you?"

"Something's _wrong _with him," Zero repeated urgently.

"Something's wrong with _you_," Kaito backfired childishly, narrowing his eyes to try to see what that _was._ Zero wasn't giving him any hints, but there was something restless there in his eyes that made Kaito unusually concerned. "Hey," he said more gently, "I'm actually in a _good _mood right now, even with all your weirdo batshit crazy. Your brother's finally got into the game, and even my leg's feeling better too, so I'm gonna offer you this once and once only, you got that?" Zero nodded warily, "Okay: talk. There's something eating you, so spill before I change my mind and kick your sorry ass," he paused, sniffing Zero he mentioned off-handedly, "You stink of sex," and then he balked and tried to push him away, "Don't tell me why,"

Zero remained silent, clearly reluctant to expand on anything. Usually he was all for keeping it bottled inside, but Zero's stubbornness more than anything, was what always got Kaito to quickly lose patience.

"God Zero, If you weren't so fucked up, I would beat the shit out of you," he told him calmly. _Only _because Zero was his epic sidekick, who he _did _actuallycare about (somewhat), he sucked it up and tried to figure out what was going on with him. His silence spoke more than words, because it was all in his eyes, and within a minute Kaito had it – "Is it Kaname?" Zero jerked, "That asshole mess you up or something?" the protectiveness in his tone was embarrassing, but he couldn't help but raise his hackles when he thought of Kaname hurting Zero. He knew his type of hurt would be all about the pansy-ass _feelings_, no actual hurting with _fists_ anymore (sadly enough), because he'd seen the way they looked at each other, and he knew this was hurting Zero more than being beaten up.

Zero's continuing silence was enough of an answer again, as well as the slight tremble of his lips.

"Come on, kid, give me _something_," he begged, dying to find Kaname and introduce him to his Baby. When he waited for a while and saw nothing forthcoming, he realised it might not be correct to assume Kaname had done anything. Zero would be quite happily bitching to him right now if he was accountable, like he always did after a massive fallout with his number-one frenemy. But with the recent change of their relationship happening so fast, catalysed by the war and Zero being, well _Zero…_ it suddenly all made sense – how clueless Zero could be – how difficult it was to understand Kaname. Even Kaito could see how that was a recipe for disaster, with misunderstandings ripe for the pickings. Shit – Kaito would curse the day he ever had to give relationship advice to anyone, and that was this day. Shit.

"I – he… we had a… he said, and I thought-" Zero stammered, and Kaito did understand how difficult it was to admit you _had _feelings. It was worse, talking about them... but that didn't mean he was going to make this easy for Zero, especially when it was his fault that he had to do this, "I made an mistake. He was, and I must have… I just messed up, and I fucking stormed out — and he didn't come back. What the _hell_ am I supposed to do now?" his voice was so small and shaky, but he turned on Kaito like he had all the answers. Like he had a clue what he just said.

Eyeing him carefully, as if he was possessed, Kaito gave him a rheumy eye and shoved down all his prejudice against Purebloods to just focus on Zero for the second – who absurdly needed _him _for advice. Zero who looked so young, and breakable and – he had to help him.

"So... you know, _do_ you?" he choked out, trying to elaborate with his awkward hand-gestures. Immediately he knew Zero didn't get him, so he squashed down his pride and clarified, "You know… _want_ him?"

This was worse than The Talk and then some, because Zero made a face and then blinked at him solemnly. That was when he realised he didn't _know_. Either that or he wasn't willing to commit to anything. Kaito was crying inside.

"Because that is _baseline_, kid," he rambled frantically, "That's — that's _really_ basic, Zero."

Zero remained quiet. Kaito wanted to smash something.

"Oh my God," he said. "That's horrible, you actually _don't_ know."

Zero's whole face turned fuschia, and he bristled, looking like a bird with ruffled feathers – and then it dawned on Kaito that clearly Zero _did _know, but he was perhaps... ashamed? Lord knew a heart-to-heart wasn't a common occurrence between them, but Kaito was really sticking his neck out here, all for Zero's benefit. The least he could do was help it along. The fact that he wasn't willing to talk to him about it bugged Kaito.

So Kaito sucked it up again, like a man, and lamented the days when all he had to do for these brothers was watch them and make sure they didn't shoot themselves in the feet or eat their bogies.

"Look man, if you wanna fuck him you don't have to be all shy about it. Even I can tell that the guy's a stud–"

"_Oh my god __don't!_" Zero squawked, redder than a blushing tomato. His eyes darted madly, "I _really_ don't need to-"

"It's just _sex_, man. Stop being such a virgin about it-"

"You've got it all wrong, just-"

Kaito's eyes widened dramatically as it suddenly dawned on him, "Oh. _Oh_," so it was _more _than… than sex.

Somehow, it was harder to talk about _love _than talking about sex. But, what the heck? He'd already stamped on his manly pride, kicked his testicles to the curb. What was a little more girly chatter? The more he could see how much Zero _needed _him, the more he was willing to be more open-minded to _this. _This phenomenon would surely make Mother Theresa weep. He digressed.

"So, what's the problem then?" he said gruffly. He scrunched up his nose, "Is _he _the prude? Cos I can totally see that happening,"

"It's not about him, it's not about _sex!_ Just…" Zero started look at him like _he _was the weird one, "… isn't this shocking to you? Why aren't you kicking my ass? You _hate _Vampires,"

"Yeah, but…" he shifted awkwardly, "Man, don't make me do this. _You_ should be telling _me_ what you see in the slimy toothy bastards enough to fall for one. It doesn't matter what I think. I can't tell you what to do or not do, pun intended. Even I'm not so hideously hidebound as the coots in the Association to admit that I can get along with them – I've fought alongside countless Vamps in these past days alone. They're not as bad as we've been told – I know it's _especially _difficult for you andme to admit it, after what they've cost us. But an entire race cannot be held accountable for past crimes only a few individuals did. What I'm saying is, if _you _tell me you've gone sweet on one of them, you don't have any obligation to explain to me why. If you want to and you want me to support you or want me to pull drag your sorry ass out of your infatuation, I will,"

Zero looked so taken aback it almost made him laugh, but everything he said was true, and this wasn't the time to make Zero doubt it. He trusted in Zero's judgement, and knew he'd only ever fall in love with someone who deserved it, and was good through and through. If that person was Kaname, well… he'd just have to get used to the idea of it, and hopefully see it for himself someday.

"But… Yagari," Zero protested weakly. Kaito snorted. Now he understood where all this was coming from.

"He's already broken _so _many of his own rules for you, you don't even want to know. And he don't give a rat's ass about your sex life... Wait, there will be sex, won't there? I'm not rooting for it, but if this is gonna be some sort of mamby-pamby, wishy-washy, '_what light through yonder window breaks_' celibate _romance_, I will spike your fruity cocktails with Viagra, you hear me? You gotta get laid sometime, man. Abstaining is like chopping it off, it's just wrong,"

"Aren't you surprised, _at all_?" Zero insisted, totally ignoring him – "I didn't get this till _now, _but you sound like you've known all along! And since when did you know Shakespeare?"

"I read. I _notice things. _You're oblivious, you know that? Think with your downstairs brain a little more, man – be a _guy. _Let me tell you how you've been acting – how you've _changed_ recently. Ever since you decided to be besties with him you start moving around him differently, like you're joint at the hip and so many metres apart will kill you. You orbit him like he's your personal Sun... and I can't believe I just said that, but although you're acting all teenage-angst-drama on me right now, I have also never seen you so _alive. _It's like, freaking flashing neon-sign obvious. Get a fucking clue,"

"But – but?" Zero looked honestly so befuddled, like Kaito had completely brained him, "I – I can't get my head around it-"

"There's nothing to _get_. Just man up and go wiggle your bits in his face. He'll be all over you like a fat kid on cake-"

"Kaito, I'm being _serious-"_

"_I'm being serious __**too**_," Kaito snapped, causing Zero to pull back. He grabbed him, staring him in the eye, "I'm deadly serious, Zero, get to it. I don't care that he's King of the frigging Vampires – if he's '_it' _for you, then it's done. You can't see how different you are with him – like I have," he shook his head, "Ever since you Turned, you were different – you _hated_ living, you never smiled. I'd never seen anything like it – witnessing that type of change in a person makes you re-evaluate yourself. You had enough survivor's guilt to weigh the whole world down. You were dangerous, _frightening _to watch – you became the perfect weapon, but I remember thinking I wouldn't see you again each time. You had no qualms about preserving your own life, as long as the job was done. You have no _idea _what it was like, watching you falling apart.

"So if this here – this thing with Kaname – is what you need, is what it takes for you to live again, you'd better _take it_,"

Zero jerked alarmingly at his conviction, but then slumped in defeat. He took it to mean he'd accepted his amazing pep-talk, and thank _god _for that. He was never doing this ever again if he could help it.

"If anything," he continued breezily, "I'm more annoyed about you going for a guy. Cuts me down a wingman, you know," he quirked his lip at Zero's grimace and then he sobered up quickly, "But don't you dare think you can talk to me about _that_. That's crossing the fucking line. My boys have probably dropped off and died with all this girly shit you've made me say. I hope you're happy. Now I gotta go drink beer and shoot things,"

Zero laughed – this was what Kaito wanted to see. He rolled his eyes and hurried off before this continued any further and they both grew vaginas or started with the touchy-feely crap. "Gotta go tell your lover-boy something anyway, so stay out of trouble while I'm gone," he told Zero, enjoying the way he shot him a warning glare. "Should I tell him how you hunger for his loins?" this he quipped at a safe distance away, to top it off he threw over his shoulder, "Peace out, girl scout!" and then he was away. It was only after, when he finished sniggering, that he recalled the first thing he'd noticed upon returning to the Castle which was ever more noticeable when he was alone – how eerily quiet it was. How empty the corridors were.

Where was everyone?


	97. What You Don't Know

**Author's Note:**

**Well, uni is a lot harder than I thought it'd be, but it's also major fun. :) I'm so so so sorry I've taken so long to write this, but seriously - WORK. I've never seen so much homework in my LIFE. It's sucking up all my free time, and this chapter was really tricky to write.**

**If it doesn't make sense, please tell me. I've had a lot of trouble trying to explain what's going on. If you read on, you'll see it get's complicated - part of what's going on finally gets revealed. But it's hard to put into words, you know? I tried my best, but if it doesn't add up - comment me. I'll see what I can do.**

**THANK YOU for reviews. Makes me happy to see some feedback. I bet you're all wondering how long this is going to drag on? **

**I think I can do it in 3 more long chapters. We've already broken the 500,000 word bank, me thinketh, so why not some more?**

**On the topic of how _long _it's gonna take me to finish this - I honestly can't say anymore. I hope it will be done by Xmas. I never thought it would end up being so flipping LONG, so expect a Xmas finale at best. **

**Man, I'm so friggin TIRED. TT_TT But it's all good. Hope everyone's not found getting back to school too traumatic, LOL. **

**And to the person who requested permission to do fanart? ****Double flippin YES. I would LOVE some fanart. Draw to your heart's content – just remember to link me to it pleeeease. I wanna see I wanna see!**

**Ok, let's get on with this then. Thanku ~**

**puui x**

* * *

><p><em><strong>"The heart has reasons that reason cannot know."<strong>_

**~ Blaise Pascal **

_**"Have a strong mind and a soft heart."**_

**~ Anthony J. D'Angelo**

* * *

><p>A hundred things were <em>screaming <em>at him, yanking and pulling on him like a crowd of beggars starving for his attention. They were faceless, nameless, countless things he couldn't even begin to understand. He wanted to deal with them – he knew he _had _to eventually, they wouldn't just go away till he did.

It started with Kaname.

Everything between them was preventing him from moving forwards. Like they say, it's hard to face the things that matter most to you – mentally, emotionally – they affect you worse if you care about them. This was the biggest obstacle to overcome because it meant the most to him, what Kaname thought of him. He knew he'd made a fool of himself and ruined things, most likely for good.

Just thinking about having to _face_ Kaname made Zero squirm like a slug in salt. It was literally unbearable to think about – how Kaname would patiently listen to him stammer his excuses with a sympathetic ear but piercing eyes, without speaking a word. Without meaning to, Kaname would be condemning Zero to the only thing worse than rejection – pity.

To hope that such newly forged friendship as theirs, so feeble and fragile, could be salvaged after this was laughable. Kaname probably wanted nothing to do with Zero – never wanted to see him again once the war was done. With Zero's pride shattered and reflex to this being to shut himself away from company, theirs would be a discomfited alliance at best.

To anyone watching at the time, seeing Zero thwack his head against the counter would raise considerable concern, because he was _only_ cooking fried rice, not facing the hangman's noose. But the fact was that it had been difficult enough being rejected, but did he really have to lose Kaname's friendship too? All because of a silly mistake – a misunderstanding? Unknowingly, as most things were with Kaname, his friendship had wormed its way under Zero's skin and taken over an equally large portion of his heart as love had. In fact, Zero depended on friendship more because it was something he could at least be certain had been reciprocated. If he'd not had love, at least friendship. But now he would have neither.

He was more _confused_ than anything. He'd _genuinely_ thought Kanamefelt the same way, and he was so rarely confidant in anything to do with emotions that he _went _with that instinct on the basis of pure recklessness and adrenaline. Perhaps his judgement was lacking, and with their short-lived friendship having grown so quickly in such a short space of time, it was even more difficult to know where things stood.

He and Kaname were… he didn't _actually _know what they were. Friends – yes, but anything _more _hadn't yet been confirmed and – shit, he'd spilt too much salt in. If that wasn't a portent of impending misfortune, then he didn't know what was, because he was normally an _excellent _cook.

He tried to save the rice, but started thinking at the same time… what if he and Kaname _never _got past this? What if they _couldn't? _If they couldn't even face being around each other, then the whole war was already botched, because it needed _both _of them to be won.

Zero almost minced his fingertips on the grater. The thought weighed heavily on him that Kaname, having spoiled him with his kindness and generosity, made Zero assume he could take practically _anything_ from him just as easily. Love should _never_ be expected. In fact, it should be _un_expected. He'd lectured Yuuki on the very same thing before.

Given that Kaname had stolen his heart – a kiss was trivial in comparison – and yet, now it seemed _too much._ It felt like a crime to fracture the foundations of where they stood. He'd trusted Kaname to such a degree to _take _that leap of faith, which he would _never _do for anyone else. Kaname was more of a threat to as a friend than he'd ever been as an enemy.

And he couldn't help himself when it came to Isamu … or Kaname. Or picturing them together. It was too bitter a pill to swallow… and it was worrying, the fact that he'd mistaken _Ichiru_ for Isamu earlier in his desperation, because – what the fuck? Wanting to destroy Isamu so deeply – to have his blood on his hands – was by far the closest to murder he'd ever been in his life.

And he'd lost his grip on reality so far that it was_ Ichiru _he'd attacked_. _Not Isamu.

Fuck – his _baby brother_. Looking back on it, Zero saw how little the impact his attack had had on his brother (which was strange in of itself) but it was the principle of the thing that was troubling, because it was totally unacceptable for him to let own problems affect those around him – especially if it endangered his loved ones_. _

He didn't realise he'd stopped breathing till his chest ached in pain and _goddamn it_, he'd burned the fucking rice. It was completely burnt. He was a _good _cook, but this was _not_ edible shit – and yet he still scooped it into a bowl, hating to let even _horribly _charcoaledfood go to waste –

And then the door burst open and he almost dropped it in shock.

It was Kaname – _Kaname_ who looked feverish, all bright-eyed – almost delirious. His eyes wild and dark and constricted a little at the sight of him, calming into something marginally less terrifyingly _intense. _Though he still vaulted over the island counter, and then he took great liberties in thoroughly checking Zero all over. Instead of protesting loudly at the manhandling, Zero let it happen without a word. He was taken aback by Kaname's behaviour, but something about his sense of urgency told him it couldn't be avoided. Anyway – sad as it was – he was enjoying the attention. If this was the only way of having it, he'd take it.

When Kaname was satisfied with whatever he had found, he pulled back but his hands lingered over Zero's bandaged knuckles. "You're bleeding," he muttered, "I almost – I nearly – when I _smelt_–" his babbled nonsense, but Zero nodded all the same, and he was still babbling as he unwrapped the bandages and assessed the raw skin with a grim expression. "What did you _do_?"

Zero shrugged, not wanting to admit to smashing the mirror, which he guessed Kaname hadn't seen yet if he hadn't put two and two together.

"You're… have you taken any blood recently?" He pursed his lips in response and Kaname sighed in exasperation, "You _need_ to take better care of yourself Zero. I was so _worried_, I can't…"

Zero glanced up when Kaname trailed off, gnawing on his lip ferociously. How could Kaname do this – reject him one minute and then _worry_ about him the next, completely oblivious to the effect his paradoxical behaviour was having on poor confused him? The worst thing was that Zero could _see _that Kaname was honestly unaware of it. He was just being himself – _kind_, considerate, and thoughtful – _regardless_ of what had transpired between them.

Zero sulkily turned back to his meal, struggling to chew and swallow (the blackened mess) under such duress. It took him a few bites to man up the courage to look up, and then… he stared.

Whywas Kaname sweating… and panting? Could Purebloods even work up a sweat? Did they even get tired? No they didn't. Purebloods didn't tire from exercise – they certainly didn't sweat – they moved by '_flight'_ or whatever-its-name crazy teleporting thing Kaname did. So why… _oh, _of course – Kaname was _descending. _He was becoming mortal_._ Slowly but surely he was getting more able to tire, he could sweat…

Zero couldn't drag his eyes away from the beads of crystalline sweat trickling down his cheek which he tracked till they disappeared from view. Like after coming out of the shower, his skin was shiny with thousands of sweat beads, and the unfamiliar musty scent of them and the _heat _radiating off his body hit Zero like walking into a sauna. He knew he should feel bad for condemning Kaname to a mortal life, but frankly – mortality looked _good _on Kaname. He was somehow… _more_ captivating to him, dishevelled and unkempt. He was more tangible this way, the frailer he appeared the more he was alive.

With dark circles under his eyes and ashen skin and straggly matted hair – Kaname had never looked so beautiful.

Sensing he was being watched, Kaname turned back to stare at Zero from his cushioned arms, and for a few minutes they simply stared at each other. It wasn't peaceful or companionable in the slightest, in fact the connection almost had a challenging air to it, as if they were testing the waters and where they stood now. On the bright side, at least for Zero, it was much easier than talking.

Then Zero heard a knocking sound – Kaname's knuckle rapping the countertop. He darted Kaname a confused look. The Pureblood blinked slowly, eyes heavily hooded and sleepy and tapped again.

"Hit me," he muttered. Bewildered, Zero blinked slowly, turning the order around in his head till it made sense. He finally poured a glass of milk and slid it to Kaname who snatched it out of mid air moments before it plummeted over the edge of the counter. Kaname examined the glass for a second, then snorting at its contents he chucked it back in three gulps. He licked his lips and squinted up at him, "Was hoping for something a little stronger,"

Zero shrugged, "It's good for your teeth?" he tried valiantly.

Kaname laughed and slid the glass back for a refill. On its return journey, Kaname spun the glass to dance in lazy figure-8s along the counter. "What are you eating?" Zero swallowed his next mouthful and looked down at the blackened mess, wondering what he could pass it off as. For Vampires' sharp sense of smell especially, the smell must be lethal. A rustle of cloth _right next to him _had him jumping again, and then Kaname looked over his shoulder at his creation with morbid curiosity. Bemusement and a little wonder – fine – but curiosity had no place with food – food should be _identifiable _at a first glance.

Zero thought he should be at least a _little _offended by his reaction, even if it was very badly burnt food, but watching Kaname sniff it cautiously, he was sorely amused. Zero watched as Kaname took the spoon out of his hand and helped himself to a bite of it_. _He chewed slowly, and then took another spoonful. Perplexedly, he watched as Kaname finished his food, no reaction at all to how bad it must taste – he finished it all. And only when Kaname realised the food was gone did he acknowledge Zero's bewildered expression, and a hint of colour graced his cheeks. "It's good," Zero couldn't explain why, but his heart skipped at that lie. That very big lie.

"It's burnt," he leaned on the counter's edge. New to his mortality, Kaname must be unused to necessities such as eating and was probably so hungry that he'd eat anything – _literally _anything – so he shouldn't read too much into the compliment.

(And yet he did.)

They were so close, he could feel the heat of Kaname's body radiate all across his back. It was pleasant warmth but – he didn't feel like he should take advantage of Kaname's unintended affection. He summed up his disbelief in four words: "You have no taste,"

"I ate it," Kaname half-shrugged. But as he became hyper-aware of the dwindling space between them, he was reminded of how Kaname had acted the last time they got too close –and panicked. But before he could push Kaname away, a hot mouth landed on the back of his neck.

Kaname mouthed languidly up and down the back of his neck, and it spurred Zero's pulse into a mad frenzy. Any resistance – reluctance he'd had to allowing this disappeared with a swipe of Kaname's tongue. He'd never thought being licked could feel _nice_. Hot and wet and – Kaname's hands grasped his hips, squeezing them fondly before they travelled round to his front – one spread over his stomach, the other ventured downwards. One smoothed up to his chest and stopped where it splayed possessively over the hollow of his throat. A mark was sucked on his skin, the unexpectedness of it getting a strange noise out of him. He was tugged back so Kaname's front was plastered against his back, and _god. _He could feel how hot Kaname was, pressed against the base of his spine.

Zero arched against him, hoping to break free from this _torture, _knowing at the same time his struggles were futile because he wanted this. And Kaname certainly seemed to want this. He was putty in Kaname's hands, limp as a noodle in his arms. So – what was wrong with keeping this?

_Is this what __**he **__wants?_

Lady's voice reverberated in his head. Oh right – he couldn't. No, he _wouldn't _do this, because… it wasn't right. No – "No," he rasped, shoving against the counter – which stupidly pressed him against Kaname more – "Kaname, n-"

"Zero," Kaname growled, grasping at his waistband with both hands. But _no_, he had to stop this. Not only for Kaname's good – for his own peace of mind – because the last time Kaname had stopped _him_, and he had to know _why _first.

"_Kaname_," he hissed, the seriousness of his tone must have gotten through to Kaname because he pulled away then. "You… before, you didn't…" in lieu of words, garbled disjointed words repeated in broken circles. Zero couldn't put into words what he wanted to say, not without causing himself more embarrassment – not without revealing how heartbroken he was.

_I wanted to kiss you back there. I __**wanted**__ you. I thought you wanted me too. Didn't you? Don't you?_ – simple, simple words he just couldn't get out. They became physically lodged in his throat, and made strange crackly noises as they left it.

It was because of Kaname's eyes – all sincere and patient, alive with affection – he didn't want to extinguish that… that _hope_ that blazed within them_. _That _belief _Kaname seemed to have rediscovered in him. He didn't want to disappoint Kaname again.

But he had to. Kaname was _kind_. He had to remember that, above all, Kaname wouldn't mock him for his feelings. Regardless of this, Zero had a duty to treat Kaname the way a friend should – with the truth.

Even with Zero's failed explanation, somehow Kaname managed to understand, and shoved him into the counter with his mouth twisted in a grimace.

"Must you always do this? You're so… so…" The way Kaname was looking at him – not vexed, but… _amused_, only served to make Zero more annoyed as it became apparent that this may all be a joke to him. "…Zero, I didn't mean to push you away-"

"No. Just – leave it," he snapped sharply. Somehow there was a smidgen of space between their bodies now. Enough to elbow him, "Let me g-"

"Zero, no," Kaname shook his head adamantly, "If I leave you like _this_ again, you'll start thinking up all sorts of silly things like you've probably been doing already and get yourself down the wrong alley. I need to tell you _exactly_ what happened before you take this any further, okay?" Zero huffed, "I had taken a _shower_, Zero. To wash off your scent. After I'd slept beside you all night,"

Zero stiffened in surprise. He turned to Kaname to find him smiling decorously, and had the decency to blush himself. What_?_ Did Kaname mean–

"I couldn't afford to let us, continue…" Kaname trailed off but raised his eyebrows meaningfully, "…because it would have defeated the purpose of removing your scent, and I had no time to do it a second time. I'm sorry for upsetting you, but you left before I could explain, and by then it was time for me to leave,"

So _that _was why Kaname pushed him away. He'd promised he'd watch over Zero's dreams, and kept it by staying by his side sleeping.

So all this worrying – was a silly misunderstanding…

A huge weight seemed to lift off his shoulders.

Kaname laughed though not unkindly, and Zero even found himself smiling in relief too. "Okay?" he asked warmly. Zero scowled, but it only made Kaname laugh more. Kaname's arms wound around him once more, his chuckles bouncing off his forehead in a pleasant rhythm, and Zero loosened in the embrace. "You need to have more confidence in yourself, you idiot," the quip that usually got him annoyed was heeded for once, "In us. In _me_," he said more softly into his ear.

Like a prayer, confirmation of _us_ made Zero's heart soar.

"What I need is for you to fucking _explain_ yourself _before_ you go and do these… things, and leave people hanging without a clue as to what just happened. Not _everyone_ can go peeking in everyone else's heads to understand what's going on, you know. Use _words_," he buried his nose in his chest at the source of the pleasant laughter, and dared to kiss Kaname there – right above his heart – and then he was dragged up into a proper kiss.

This time he paid more attention to the motion of their lips – and it amazed him how much sensation there was there – just in their lips. Their mouths were open and they were close enough to hang onto each other's breaths. They pressed harder together, a dribble of spit ran down his chin. Kaname's hands dragged his shirt up to his armpits, the sudden chill of the air against his heated skin made it feel like he riding the cold and warm fronts of a swirling hurricane, clinging onto Kaname's heat in the middle of an incredible storm.

"You like… when I'm awkward," he concluded between kisses, only barely chagrined. Kaname was still laughing brokenly, gusting on his cheeks. As he broke away to catch his breath, he caught sight of himself in the fridge door again.

And he froze. There he was, caught between Kaname and the smear of countertop, his miniature face bright pink and open-mouthed. Absently he felt Kaname stroke hair behind his ear, but his mind was on the picture they made versus the last time he'd stood there, being challenged by Yuuki in front of the fridge. Then he'd had all his insecurities brought to the fore, his already delicate understanding of what _love _was had been changed.

Now he stood there in the very place he wanted to be. He had all he wanted, all he needed – he was _happy_ – in such a state of incredulity that the unbelievable _was _believable. He'd shed all his doubts, or at least – Kaname swept them all away by his mere presence. This contrast to the last time made him feel accomplishment and a sense of contentment in simply _being _he'd never experienced before. However, it was also edged with guilt – from Yuuki. After all she'd said, he was still going against her wishes. She was _dear _to him, always. It wasn't an active betrayal, because he'd literally just let things fall into place… but it _had _ended up in his favour, not hers.

He couldn't go on without at least telling Kaname about Yuuki's feelings. After all these years, surely someone as observant as him would have already noticed, but he couldn't assume. Just like himself, Kaname could make mistakes – misjudgements. He might mistake Yuuki's worshipping gaze to be from a serious older-brother complex, or translate it to her being grateful for having him to support her. If Kaname had known all along, he'd have told Yuuki that her feelings weren't returned – or else he would be doing the same thing Yuuki had done to Zero by stringing her along.

And that wasn't something Kaname would do. Was it?

"Yuuki," he muttered against Kaname's cheek, knowing already the mood was gone at the mention of her name. Kaname's questing hands stopped their wanderings, "She loves you,"

"Yes," Kaname said slowly, as though he was being a little slow, "She does. And I love her too. Is that a problem?" though he didn't sound accusing, there was an undercurrent of doubt to his tone.

He knew Kaname spoke 'love' in the platonic sense, but he also knew him well enough to see past his seemingly innocuous facade. He _knew. _He knew Yuuki's feelings. He was pretending to be none-the-wiser – he probably got away with bluffing like this all the time – but not to Zero, and not about _Yuuki. _All this time – did that mean – but… Zero couldn't believe Kaname could be so manipulative. Not his Kaname. He had to clarify it – "No, she wants to _be_ with you, Kaname,"

"…Yes," he said, but Zero was sure he'd heard wrong because if he knew about Yuuki, why _wouldn't_ he turn her down? It actually made Zero feel slightly nauseous imagining that overwhelming shock from finding out he was being played all over again – putting himself in Yuuki's shoes and having it be _Kaname _who messed with his heart was totally demoralizing.

"But," Zero blurted, dismayed – how could he be so kind to _him_, and yet so inconsiderate to Yuuki? "If you _knew _about it, you should've – you_ would've_ told her, wouldn't you? You'd let her know if the – that your feelings for her aren't… returned," he stammered – he _stated_ as confidently as he could. Like it was the truth, because he didn't want to believe otherwise. Kaname couldn't be this heartless. He couldn't be in love with a cold-blooded man.

Kaname smiled strangely, "I think she already knows,"

"How do you knowthat, you have to be _sure_," Zero insisted. But as Kaname stared at him, something clicked – "Oh fuck no. You _knew _she saw us?" he felt like a cold bucket of water had been dumped on him.

"Zero, it's actually the best way she could've found out,"

Did he even know what he was saying? Yuuki had seen them kissing before – and he'd said _nothing_ – and he thought that _that _was an okay way to break the news to her – to his own _sister_? Who he _loved _so dearly?

Kaname sighed, "Zero, think about it – she's seen it with her own _eyes. _Anything less than that wouldn't have been enough to eliminate any doubts – she would not have believed it otherwise," for some reason, he saw something in Zero's expression and his voice softened, "It's harsh I know, but at the same time, it is effective,"

A bitter peal of laughter broke out of him unexpectedly, "…_effective_? How about 'cruel'?" he wanted so badly to lash out, only his reluctance to lose his temper was keeping him still, "She's just a _girl_, Kaname. She's your _sister_! You _love _her!"

"It is effective in the way that it is _just_, Zero," Kaname half-smiled at him, but chilling in a way that honestly frightened Zero, "It is equal payment for the pain she has caused _you _all these years,"

Zero's jaw dropped in open shock. How could he – Kaname knew about that too? He'd seen what Yuuki was doing to him when even he hadn't, and now… now Kaname was avenging him – punishing her for _her _cruelty_. _

Part of Zero found joy in discovering that Kaname had been watching over him all this time. The protective streak that was a mile wide funnily enough made him feel safe. Cherished, even. In the end it wasn't Yuuki's persistence that was grating, but that her determination was frail. At heart, she remained an innocent young girl who had a _crush_, who was delicate and desperate in her interpretation of love.

He hummed against Kaname's clavicle wearily. "I love Yuuki… but she can be childishly cruel without meaning to be. I only wish she'd told me,"

Yuuki would always be special to them both, but Kaname's message was clear – he would penalise Yuuki if she behaved badly. He was resistant to her innocent charms despite being the doting older brother.

"She is a child," Kaname agreed, "She has her faults, as do we all. She will _always_ be ours. I can't help but see my parents in her – my mother's beauty, my father's temperament. She is the only family I have left,"

That struck a chord within Zero as he realised – like Kaname, apart from having Ichiru – he was alone in this world. They were the last of their family. It was a hollow feeling, because it both made Zero realise the fragility of their bloodline – on the cusp of extinction. Ichiru was everything to him – his brother, his soulmate…

He pressed closer to Kaname, suddenly fiercely wishing that they could be family too.

Kaname held him tightly, "You're tired," He was. Today had drained him. He let Kaname loop his arms around his waist and take most of his weight, "You're doing so well,"

_In what? _He wanted to ask, "I don't think so,"

Kaname didn't respond for a few seconds, in which time Zero realised they were walking… Kaname wasn't throwing him over his shoulder like usual. He fleetingly wondered why he wasn't being towed away, but his thoughts were cut off again as Kaname threw him in for another loop.

"My father – Haruka – always used to say that to her. '_You're doing so well' _he'd say, but she'd never reply to it. My mother… she was a mess for most of the time that I knew her,"

Zero stiffened, surprised that Kaname would say such a thing, but his voice was quiet with remorse.

"She wasn't mad – not like Isaya, _certainly _not like Rido," he corrected himself, "But she wasn't well either, and after what she went through she wasn't coping with it. What she wanted more than anything was for people to understand that she was in pain. She wasn't over it, she never would be – there was an unceasing pain. The unspeakable burden she had to bear alone. No one saw it – everyone thought she was just an attention-seeker. Non one could understand. No one ever did.

You're going through the same thing. No one can relate to the stress you're under, Zero, and you are alone. But you're coping much better than she ever did. Sometimes she'd be ripping off the wallpaper when no one was looking, wanting to see the bare wall uncovered. She was so paranoid that some days she'd just cry – so you're doing _well_. Believe me when I say so.

"Now, let's sleep," Kaname murmured quietly, and he must have blinkered off soon after, because the next thing he knew they were in the bedroom and Kaname was hauling them both up the bed and under the covers. Surprisingly enough, despite the unfamiliar weight of an arm around his waist and warm breath blowing in his ear, he fell asleep within seconds.

* * *

><p>Zero woke feeling heavy but content, the way you might feel after napping off a feast, with the fuel in your belly keeping you warm and content. It was chilly on his back though, despite the mountain of covers and pillows piled up over him. He was as snug as a bug and loath to open his eyes, but the murmur of voices at the had his attention and made it impossible for him to drift off, especially when he could hear one of those voices was Kaname's.<p>

He wanted Kaname back in bed.

It was ridiculous, but he might even say he _needed_ Kaname back, simply because it was too soon yet to be apart, even by this short distance. After all the troubles they'd had – he didn't want to let Kaname _go_. Not when the way they had 'resolved' things still left too many questions unanswered, and it felt like they were only touching fingers rather than holding hands and the slightest thing could pull them apart.

It was so damn clingy – so _unlike _him to need a physical presence there as comfort. But no wonder he was acting weird – he had no idea what to do in a _relationship, _or whatever this was, or how dependent he would become on another person's touch like he was now. Kaname had had years and _years _to become acquainted with being in love, and even had more years on top of the millennia to learn how to deal with wanting from afar.

He rolled over to face Kaname's back, hunched over in the doorway, head ducked in a way that suggest he was trying to whisper. Zero poked at his swollen lips, feeling them tender and unconsciously curved in a lax smile.

"Kaname," he croaked, catching Kaname's attention instantly. He whipped around and seeing Zero relaxed and _smiling_, his face brightened, washing away any former traces of worry there. Zero slid his arm to hang upwards-facing over the mattress edge and flicked his hand up in a lazy beckoning gesture. With his eyes half-mast, he called for him, "Kana…" he broke into a jaw-cracking yawn, "…m-me… mm, come back to bed,"

Kaname's laughter made it difficult to yawn and smile at the same time.

His jaw cracked from the stretch and then snapped shut, he opened his eyes to find Kaname perched above him with a soft, indulgent look on his face. Immediately his cheeks flushed from how _needy _he'd sounded, but he slung his arms over Kaname's shoulders anyway and erased his embarrassment with a kiss. It was becoming familiar now to him – similar in the way remembering the steps to a dance was after some practice. Kaname's hand came to rest on the back of his neck, and he thumbed his earlobe. Zero let out a small breath through his nose, and his eyes shut in pleasure – but before he could get too caught up in it, he sensed another's presence in the room.

Kaname pulled back to reveal Ichiru standing in the doorway. Zero squirmed away and surprisingly enough – he'd been expecting more resistance from Kaname – Kaname slid off the bed and went to Ichiru's side willingly. Kaname's face was cold – emotion washed clean off it, making him look unnervingly distant compared to mere moments ago. Zero fidgeted under both their unnaturally blank stares.

"I have things to discuss," Ichiru announced, blunt and monotone, "With him," he jerked his head at Kaname. There was something odd about Ichiru – the way he talked and moved was almost unnatural. It made Zero reluctant to leave Kaname alone with him – something about Ichiru was bugging him, and he couldn't shake the feeling that something wasn't _right_.

Zero shot a glance at Kaname, hoping to find him looking suspiciously at Ichiru too, but found him only looking like he was expecting him to say more.

He didn't like the way he was looking at Ichiru. It wasn't intimate, but Kaname's mask dropped for an instance to communicate secretly with Ichiru with his eyes (or perhaps his mind), which was markedly different to how he'd brushed Zero off. He was being secretive-Kaname again who didn't _trust _Zero enough to tell him what was going on. He trusted _Ichiru_ over him – since when had Kaname ever spoken to Ichiru? Since when was a good relationship ever built with secrets?

When it was clear Ichiru wasn't going to say anything else, he turned to Zero, looking for the first time _apologetic _for acting so coldly to him, "We need to go now. We have things that need doing,"

'_We', _he said,like they were the best of friends all of a sudden. '_We' _that didn't include Zero and him, but Ichiru.

When he saw Kaname's face was verging on grim, he realised he was going to have to let it go otherwise none of them would be getting anywhere. He didn't why there was a need for being secretive. Even though he and Kaname were '_something' _now, could they be together and not trust one another?

Zero watched them go in resignation.

On top of this new development, there was still the heavy burden resting on his shoulders. _He_ had '_things to_ _do'_ as well. Things he was avoiding.

He scrambled off the bed and left the room and hurried to the Garden, hoping this time his heart '_understood' _enough, even if he didn't.

* * *

><p>An understanding. That was what he needed – to <em>understand <em>Juri, like no one else had.

He stared at the pergola tunnel, trying to imagine it more welcoming than it really was. The leafy insides were spilling out, buffeted by a gust of rose-perfumed air from the other side – there was something calling out to him from the other side, something that told him this time – _this _time things were going to end differently.

Deeper and deeper into the vines and smattering of yellow sunlight – even in daytime it was so damn dark it was near impossible to see. It was like being sucked into a vortex of silence –

And then he stopped.

He literally could run no further, like he'd slammed face-first into a wall – he fell flat back expecting thorns to scratch him up like before, but instead soft earth and dead leaves cushioned his fall. The path was more forgiving this time, as though saying '_You're almost there. You've almost got it –'_.

Almost. He _almost _had it. There was this one last hurdle though. He was so close he could hear the rush of water up ahead – unexpected yet comforting. This mind-game – or test of _love – _was proving to have deep roots in being natural – as in _genuine_ with yourself. You couldn't pretend, you had to understand and _feel._

Understanding.

He took a deep breath. What did she want him to understand?

Desire – what it felt like, what it could do to you –

Jealousy – how easily it overtook your senses –

Love – how it gave colour and meaning to life_? _How even if it was bad, it was still somehow good? How different it was to lust or desire or infatuation?

All of these lessons he'd learnt, he concentrated on them and tried them like keys to an imaginary door. Were they enough to satisfy her? He reached forwards and dug his hands into the foliage, and then it just fell apart so easily and he was _in._

Before he knew it he was in Juri's Garden and it was circular, just like the Rose Garden, except it was _better. _A result of magic, no doubt – in fact… if Zero squinted, he could see the outlines of what he saw _vibrating – _a classic indication of an illusion – but _everywhere. _This place was imaginary. Juri's Garden wasn't a garden at all, but a lasting fantasy_._

The roses were too bright red to be real and grew in great abundance, making the air sweet and fragrant. There was a shallow pool in the very centre like the one in the Rose Garden, but this one was a rock fountain pouring a pinkish stream of frothy water into the basin. It was an absurd but fascinating mix of the natural and manmade – the basin merged to the rock, and yet trickling water – the sound of nature – made the whole scene so peaceful.

Closer up, he could see that the fountain rock was coated in dark moss apart from the bottom where the splashing water hitting the surface had scoured it clean and carved it smooth. He dipped his hand in the pool next and almost fell in upon finding it much, _much_ deeper than he'd anticipated – in fact, it went all the way up to his elbow till he pulled back – astounded by the apparently endless depth of water and missing bed.

Something caught his attention then – leaning, as he was, over the water – beneath the outcrop of rock there was a glimmer of light… where it was sheltered from the Sun. It didn't make sense – where was the light coming from? Zero looked around for its source – guessing it had to be reflected light of some sort – his eyes darted around the pool. The shallow rim wasn't fitted with any lights. Zero touched the water surface –

And recoiled as the water became colourless before his very eyes. He could see the bottom now, and he could've hit himself – it was light reflected off the side of a _blade_ – _**a dagger**_. And holy crap, suddenly he could feel the water dragging him in. Little currents of water tugging at his hand till he was wet up to the armpit and had to go on his knees. He was sure he was going to keep being pulled under and held there till he drowned, but then his fingers brushed the solid bottom. They skated over the bottom, guided by an invisible current that led him to the dagger hilt.

Then, he plucked it out of the water as easy as cake. It wasn't overly large or heavy or extravagantly ornamented – it was just a silver dagger. The only thing that proved how unnatural it had to be was the fact that it wasn't tarnished at all, it was perfectly clean and sharp.

As he was examining the blade, the point breached the water surface – and just as it was leaving its watery home Zero was hit by a sudden vivid vision.

It was actually more like gaining a new perspective on what he'd already learnt in context. Literally, when he stared down at the water's surface – which was perfectly still, not even a ripple – it formed a mirror, and he was staring at several things:

First of all, himself. His reflection flickered, marginally shifting to be ever so slightly different – his brother. And then, of course – it became his Ancestor Isamu's face reflected as his own, twirling the dagger on his fingertips and sneering back at him with such venom, he felt chills run up his spine.

It was then that the answer came to him. In a way, he'd known it all along, but never had the guts to admit what had to be done to _end _Isamu.

Zero glanced down to see his hand dripping blood into the pool, turning the water pink again – he'd gripped the blade edge too tightly and broken skin.

His eyes caught sight of his face now – Isamu's pain reflected back at him too with his own pain. What hurt him hurt Isamu. It was so simple, it was staring him in the face – ending himself would end Isamu – and though the consequences were dire, at that moment Zero could see no other option. Already he was alienating those around him with his paranoia, he was a danger to his loved ones and a danger to himself. He was _losing _himself in all of this, all thanks to his dead Ancestor's ghost haunting him – taking over his life.

He might have to die to get rid of Isamu, but at least then he'd be dragging him down with him.

And it was like Juri was welcoming him to end it all – delivering a suitable device to end his life in a quiet, undisturbed location. No one would have to know how cowardly his way out had been. He had the dagger and everything – he could do it.

The dagger moved of its own volition – before he'd even committed to his decision, it pivoted in his hand and the point dug into the soft flesh of his stomach. The beast of jealousy frantically squirmed there, frightened for once of the threat of the ultimate ending. It gave a last wail before surrendering to the blade as it started to puncture through the muscle. Zero's hand holding the dagger was shaking madly – he didn't know if it was the last of his common sense trying to push it away whilst battling against his determination to see this through. Isamu was grinning at him through the water, laughing and twisting the dagger further and further into his abdomen. The deeper it plunged into him, the clearer his mind became – and as the hilt came into contact with his stomach _all too suddenly_ –

It occurred to him what an _idiot_ he was being.

Killing Isamu? _Killing_ Isamu – someone who was already _dead?_ How crazy was he becoming? Enough so that he was willing to give up everything – winning the war, killing Rido, getting revenge for everyone – just so he could carry out his own little vendetta that didn't even make sense?

He was essentially letting Isamu win by doing this – if he died, he'd be in the same position as Isamu – away from Kaname's reach, beyond the veil of death where there was no love, no Kaname.

Juri had entrusted the Weapon to _him_ so that he could finish _Rido_ once and for all – the evil that threatened to conquer the world – _not _to kill himself instead. She chose _him_, because somehow, someway she'd believed that _he _was the perfect candidate to carry out this crusade. What would she say if she saw him now? A selfish coward, so consumed in his own little world that he had forgotten about the rest of the world – she would be _disappointed._

He hadn't even considered how him dying might affect Kaname – or Ichiru, or Kaito and _everyone_. But it was too late to turn back when the blade was already all the way through him. There was no going back. He was going to die. He'd never thought it would be like this.

He was so stupid. He'd screwed up his perception of what was really important – his loyalty to those he loved – the responsibility _bestowed _upon him. The whole point of getting the fucking Weapon was to end a war, for goodness' sake – in the end, he was meant to use it to protect the ones he loved.

But he'd gone ahead and _stabbed himself _with it instead, and now he was bleeding out in a pool where no one could reach him.

_Fucking perfect. _Zero ignored the first rule of stab wounds, which was to keep the thing _in_, and took it out. He _panicked_ seeing it stuck in his gut with saner eyes than before – and lacking in common sense, he yanked it out and scuttled away to the pool edge. The water around him was pink-hued and turning darker, and he realised he must be losing a lot of blood for it to have spread all around so fast.

He forgot that this was no normal garden. It was a den laden with magic, and being so absorbed in hysteria, he didn't even register the lack of pain in his movement. Or the fact that he wasn't coughing blood, or oozing guts.

As he dragged himself out of the water, several things happened – first of all, he was dry; then he patted himself over and found that his body was _intact_ and undamaged. Only the rip in his shirt was proof of what had happened.

An understanding was what Juri wanted.

Juri only wanted someone to… _understand_ – and she wasn't cruel.

This was a test.

All of this – from the very start – from the moment when he became aware of Isamu, Juri used Isamu to create a simulation of the dilemma she had faced herself. Using Isamu as a method of catalysing Zero's realisation of his feelings for Kaname, and establishing a focal point for his jealousy made him become obsessed in besting Isamu. In this way Zero prioritised himself and his own insecurities over his responsibilities to the world and his loved _ones._

It wasn't that Juri wanted someone to understand her _pain_, but her _sacrifice._

What everyone saw when they looked back at her life was her tragedy – not her _resilience_. They saw the shattered remains of her life and assumed after Rido's doings, in her misery she had faded into nothing.

They were wrong.

What they didn't know was how hard Juri fought to the very end. Every day was a struggle, yet she never gave up. For the sake of her family, for her people, and to in her own way show Rido that he had not defeated her – she tried to move on.

Her 'Isamu' was her dagger – the monument of her past which haunted her, and yet which she could not be parted from. The dagger symbolised something vital to her existence. It was a part of her – a dark, dark part of her soul.

It was a coping mechanism. She found it comforting to blame everything on that day when it had failed her – when her Bond to Haruka was strained as another one to Rido was forged, and how it was impacting on the rest of her life too. But really, _she_ was the one tormenting herself ever since the incident. No one was forcing her to, and obsessing over it was drawing her away from her family – from her _life. _

She was so obsessed with mourning what the dagger symbolised – what it had taken from her – that she lost sight of what she actually _had – _a family who loved her, a life still worth living. Keeping the dagger was doing more damage to her than she realised – she learnt this lesson before it was too late and threw it away – far away where she could never reach it again.

Juri made a sacrifice – to move on from her past.

Zero also made a sacrifice – to move on from his jealousy.

The baton was passed onto the next person she believed could appreciate the necessity of sacrifice, the magnitude of loss – and still be able to, in the end, understand what _mattered. _

Finally the dagger – the Weapon everything depended on – could be used in the _right _way. Not as a symbol of guilt to a bad memory, not as an opportunity to escape a difficult situation – but as a way to end evil.

Revenge meant nothing in the end. It was worthless.

Finally, he understood.

* * *

><p>It was so difficult to leave the room and Zero behind in it, all alone. The way Zero had looked, clearly thinking he was being left unwanted almost broke Kaname's resolve. He <em>was<em> wanted. Kaname wanted him. He missed him the second he left, with every step he took, a little more. He managed to stay completely emotionless with his mask firmly in place. Ichiru lead him to an empty room.

Though he didn't know Ichiru personally, even he could tell something wasn't right with him. The boy was standing too still and behaving too quietly. Kaname knew Zero could spend hours comfortably in silence – that's just how he was – but anyone who knew the Kiryuu twins even a little bit would notice how _noisier _the younger brother was. Well, not _noisy, _not loud like Kaito, but more _talkative. _More expressive too.

This Ichiru mostly avoided eye-contact and yet there was _something_ in his eyes that Kaname caught a glimpse of, which probably meant he was hiding something.

Whatever it might be, it was the reason Kaname was there.

If Ichiru was possessed in some way, if he was a danger to everyone – it was Kaname's duty to monitor him and minimise the danger as stealthily as he could. He wasn't _certain_ of what was wrong with him, and as far as he could tell, whatever had Ichiru under influence was wearing his body – so he couldn't harm him without harming Ichiru.

Even his movements were stilted – a classic indication of possession. The possessor often found it difficult to control movement because they weretechnically wearing another person's skin.

"I must tell you about… what we found at the barracks," even their mouths found it difficult to shape words sometimes, "Toya-san and I… arrived at the barracks to find them ruined – the soldiers, massacred; the supplies taken. We searched, but found… no survivors,"

Kaname tried not to wince, but _more_ of their people were gone? How many were going to die in this war before the actual fighting had even begun?

"Toya-san wanted us to return immediately, but I wanted to follow the attackers... We found tracks leading us to the Castle border patrol. There, we found… a few survivors working with our own guard, and many of Sara's ex-followers… who have joined our side too. I lost Toya-san there,"

Kaname bit his lip to stop himself asking _how the hell_ his friend was 'lost' so carelessly. "So we have Sara's people joining us? How many?"

"…plenty,"

Kaname nodded, slightly annoyed by his vagueness. However – "But if Sara's people rebelled to join us, who was it attacked our barracks?"

"Those who she brought into the Castle – her most loyal servants – on the way to the Castle they ransacked our barracks and… made up the story that they had '_rescued' _our soldiers,"

Kaname's heart sank.

"I returned to the barracks where I then followed the attackers' trail myself, all the way to Town,"

"Town?" he asked in surprise, "The Human Town?"

Ichiru nodded, "Yes, where the trail then …split into many directions… but they all lead to the same direction – the dereliction zone where the old shipping warehouses are. I… did not enter the buildings, but I did not even need to,"

"…they ambushed you?"

Ichiru nodded.

"They sprang out of nowhere from all sides. But I wasn't… alone against them – the Humans," his mouth twitched upwards, "That girl – Wakaba – got her father involved. That's something that was bound to happen – whether it was a good or bad decision – that the Human's know of us now. The knowledge… has inspired some fear and hate from parts of the world – that was to be expected. But there are more Humans… who value their lives enough to see us as allies. She is a… marvellous ambassador, who has convinced the majority of Humans to join our side of the war, since it is for… their survival that we are fighting in the first place,"

"For peace," Kaname corrected quietly.

"If you think of the numbers of Humans on the planet," Ichiru continued, ignoring his interjection, "The sheer number that we may have on our side now. Even if they aren't willing to fight, they can provide cover to us if need be,"

Kaname didn't like the implications of this – Ichiru was anticipating they may be forced into hiding if they became hunted in the war and assistance from Humans, who despite their innovations were still far weaker than Es or any lowly Vampire might be.

He also noticed how Ichiru said "know of _us _now".

Ichiru wasn't a Vampire. Of course, Kaname knew it had to be a Pureblood controlling him, but who could it be?

"Kaito-san arrived in Town and the battle ended quickly. There were much less of them than we had expected. That was when I realised something,"

From the look of that 'something', it wasn't good news.

"What?" he asked, dreading the answer.

"It is a logical deduction," Ichiru explained, "If we know the reason behind the behaviour of the Level Es, we can crack the code to Rido's whereabouts so we can predict what course of action he may be taking next.

If we go from the start – back to before the Coronation when the Es were still acting like their usual simple-minded selves, there was a sudden shift in their behaviour. Toya-san told me how she and Yagari-san were ambushed by small, organised groups of them, and that they actually seemed to have formulated plans in their fighting tactics, and were harder to defeat than usual. She said though, that even though they were smarter than the usual Es, they only seemed to come with half a plan – they weren't good at reacting on the spot to her and Yagari-san's defence. It was as though they had been only given a rudimentary aim – you see, they weren't really _smarter _– they didn't know what they were doing, but they were capable of following _orders_.

"At the Coronation, did you notice how they acted? Did you even know that they were _there_? No, because everyone was more focused on Rido in the Castle, rather than thinking why the guards outside never showed up to help control the situation. Shiki may have dealt with the hired Hunters and guards inside the Castle, but at the time a barrier of Es surrounding us was preventing the guards from coming to our aide. They were discreet, yet effective – the perfect sentry, better than _ours._ How can it even be possible for Es to have that level of organisation and stability? Is Rido that powerful at controlling them, or are they themselves evolving to be intelligent beings?

"Nevertheless, as soon as Rido left – taking the majority of the Es with him – the remainders dispersed into madness once more and reverted to their usual bloodthirsty selves, pillaging our border territories in a swarm. They deteriorate mentally with Rido's absence,"

Kaname was starting to see where this was going, and he didn't like it one bit.

"Ever since, the Es have kept causing mayhem around our borders – but it isn't ordered attack, it's just in their natures to be savage.

"Have you noticed how _quiet_ it is in the Castle currently?"

He had, but with so many other things occupying his thoughts, it was something he'd attributed it to his servants knowing not to meddle in things – keeping out of Sara's way, and staying hidden and safe in the Castle… But he realised trying to convince himself that _all _of them were doing this was a really stupid thing to do, because even being quiet meant there was _some _noise, but the _whole_ place was lifeless.

"Where are they?"– _please not dead_. Kaname's stomach clenched. He would be sick if Ichiru said –

"They've been taken," Ichiru said quietly, "Not only have they been wearing down the border, they've also been emptying the Castle. Sara has been using them to form a passage to Town, using your servants as 'shields' to get past. They all wear the same black silks which disguise them altogether, and the guards aren't bothering to check when it's so obvious that identifying servant from fraud is impossible, so attacking either could possibly harm an innocent,"

It was like Odysseus and his men escaping the Cyclops hiding under the sheep as disguise – but the goal was to take thee "sheep" – his servants – away from the Castle too. So Sara's followers were ferrying his servants out of the castle. Why?

"The Castle is empty, as Sara wants it,"

"But where have they been taken _to_?"

"Town," Town. Everything he was being told seemed to be leading to Town, which he didn't understand – because wasn't the Castle the site Rido wanted to invade? "And the Es have started appearing in huge numbers in Town too, ever since Rido crashed the Coronation. It's only plausible to believe that they moved to Town – even Rido cannot create so many Es in such a short amount of time,"

"So you think Rido took them to Town?"

"I think so, because instead of freak attacks on the public, they were quiet. Wakaba says they only knewthe numbers of Es were rising there because of the growing number of missing Humans. Their presence was a means of controlling the Humans so they would not interfere,"

"Why the discretion?" Kaname froze. "Unless…" he tried to unravel this huge puzzle, panic mounting with his suspicions, "…they're a massivesleeper cell?"

Ichiru shook his head, "No – I think Rido wanted them to lay low so that we were kept unaware of his progress in building an army – we still don't know how many we're up against. That's his advantage on us," Or at least it was _one _of his advantages on them.

"Another recent change is that the Es at the border have started to stage 'spontaneous' attacks around the border as diversions from a specific spot in the wall they're really trying to get in through. They know how to _pretend_, Kaname – this requires intelligence again, or absolute mental control. They managed to _trick_ us.

"And they're starting to act up again in Town – creating real problems with the Humans – and causing more panic.

If at the Castle they are getting smarter, and in Town they are getting dumb again – what does this tell you? From what we know, there is something connecting all of this together, Kaname – something that is the reason why the behaviour shifts. You _know_ what it is,"

It was so _obvious _now, what Ichiru was getting at – the control over the Es' mental states showed a pattern of movement – …_they deteriorate mentally with Rido's absence… – _Rido could only control Es within a certain range. He'd created so many that he couldn't control them all at the same time, so he had to _be _there, near enough to them to have him do his bidding.

So when they deteriorated – he left, and when they became perfect soldiers – he was nearby. You could literally track his movements between the Castle and Town – and the reason why he moved to Town? The rising numbers of Es told Kaname he had established his base in Town, where there was an endless supply of Humans he could build his army from. The growing numbers couldn't only be from Es moving into Town – he guessed many of them were being made there too.

And Kaname would hesitate before he decided to invade Town and clear out the Es, because that would be a massive carnage and many Humans would get caught in the crossfire. Again, they were using Humans as shields.

The biggest thing blaring in Kaname's mind though – since it seemed too late to do anything about Town anymore – was the fact that –

Rido controlled the Es _when he was around_.

_They're __**acting up again in Town**__ – freak attacks… But at the __**Castle**__ – as you know – the attacks are getting __**smarter**__ again…_

Oh god. That could only mean –

"Rido's coming – he's coming here, _now_," Kaname realised. His mind froze. They weren't _ready_ for this – without a Weapon, with the Castle depleted and Sara having played him – he could see now that in his own desperation, his judgement was affected.

"The Castle is being primed for Rido's welcome," Ichiru said, "Sara has emptied it so they can swarm the place and assume command of it. What have you told Sara since she's been here?"

"Nothing," he said immediately. Only when Ichiru remained silent did Kaname begin to doubt himself. What _had _he told her?

With him so certain at one point that she'd take their side, he'd been more open to revealing their plans to her – never revealing _all_ their cards, but what he could spare to win her trust. He'd never revealed anything _vital _to her. That was too risky, and it was a force of habit for him to keep secrets from even the most trusted of people.

Maybe it wasn't what he'd said, but what he'd _done_. Actions – subconscious as well as intentional ones – often revealed more than words could say.

"You fail to include Zero in all of this," Ichiru drawled in such a way that had Kaname frozen in horror as he understood what he had _done. _

Ichiru was even pointing him to what he was doing _now _– in the way he had acted towards Zero before, masking his love for him to divert attention from him. With Ichiru behaving so strangely, Kaname was unconsciously repeating what he was doing to hide Zero from Sara by hiding his importance to him from Ichiru too.

But in this way – by _shielding _him from attention, he was also showing _who _he was protecting.

With the Castle full, he could be protectinganyone really – the focus of _who _that special person could be was difficult to see, with there being so many people there. But with the Castle empty, Sara could watch Kaname to see whose absence would be noticed – whoever Kaname was keeping safe in the Castle would be revealed. First she'd find the nucleus of his special inner circle of people. And now she had him in the palm of her hand – out of these remaining people, she could hold any one of them hostage and have Kaname at her feet, ready to do anything to save them – because he would.

Sara was a clever woman. Because she'd sussed out Kaname's relationships – she had a woman's intuition – and she could see how his love for his friends was enough to use against him. His love for Yuuki was enough to make him lose the war.

His love for Zero was enough to make him do whatever she wanted.

God knows what she had planned for Zero – whether she was going to hand him over on a silver platter to Rido upon his arrival or if she wanted him as her own bargaining chip against Kaname. Zero's life was _his _life too – she could kill him and kill them both.

Not that Kaname would let her – he'd rather die first, he'd do _anything _for Zero.

Kaname shoved down his panic, moving onto the most pressing matter – "So he's coming? Rido is coming?"

"He's already here at our doorstep," Ichiru nodded, "Just waiting for the right time to –"

Kaname shot out of the room before he could even finish – the only thing on his mind was _Zero, Zero, Zero –_

If Rido was coming – if Sara was welcoming him in – everything was going to happen fast. He ran faster than he'd ever done – hating how much slower he was as a mortal – his lungs and legs on fire, his heart beating like crazy – he was _mortal_, with all the limitations of being so.

It was another sign – an indication of Rido's mighty presence – his weakening body, the panic set upon his heart – even _he _would feel the effect of his Master coming for him.

* * *

><p>As Zero stumbled out of the gate, dagger in hand, he felt triumphant aged. Older and wiser than before, and <em>exhausted <em>by what he'd gone through. He collapsed on the floor, clutching the dagger tightly, and he stared up at the sky for a few seconds in pure disbelief before he couldn't _take_ it anymore. The ache of letting go of revenge, of turning instead to the righteous path– it was the hardest thing he'd ever done.

But he was glad he'd made this decision. And he'd _done _it. He had the Weapon – he could _do _this. How proud would Kaname be when he saw this? Zero wanted to see his face light up when he saw the Weapon in his hand.

He couldn't help but feel like King Arthur with Excalibur – he'd done what no one else could.

Zero struggled to his feet – he didn't have to though – he was hauled up the rest of the way, and spun around to Isaya's wide-eyed, dismayed face.

"Ze.. Zero, why… _blood_?" he stuttered. Oh right. He looked down and was surprised that – yes – he was still covered in blood. Great. He thought the cut would be like the 'imaginary Garden' – that it would –

Zero turned around to catch sight of Juri's Garden closing up for good. He knew it was 'for good' – that now that its purpose was completed, the magic holding it together was no longer needed and it would disappear. There was a rustle of leaves being blown through the pergola, a plume of sweet roses filling the air, and then it all vanished and there was just the gate.

He'd grown to hate the gate and the elusive Garden, and found himself surprisingly sad to see it gone.

But – back to the blood on his shirt, and Isaya staring at him like he was a frigging _zombie – _this would be fun to explain.

He waved the dagger instead, with an awkward grin, watching in satisfaction as Isaya's jaw dropped further. He glanced from Zero to dagger to Zero again, who finally laughed in triumph.

"You did it?" he stared at the dagger like it was about to eat him. His eyes whipped back to Zero's, wide and earnest, "You _did it_,"

"I _did it_," Zero echoed, offering the dagger for closer inspection. If anyone could confirm it was the Weapon, it would be a Pureblood – someone Ancient enough to recognise its power.

Isaya waved it away without touching it – in fact he steered away from it. Zero raised a brow at his strange behaviour, but remembered what Kaname had said before – about avoiding contact with him so his scent wouldn't rub onto him and reveal him to Sara –

"What are you doing here anyway, Isaya? Aren't you meant to be watching Sara?"

Isaya waved him off again, "Oh, she's with Yuuki. I think she wanted some female company anyway, after being stuck with Kaname and me for so long – now explain the blood, please," he squawked an octave too high. Only then did Zero realise that Isaya wasn't breathing. Isaya continued grimly, "Explaining this to Kaname is going to be fun, by the way," he paused, "Which _you _will be doing. Yes, _you _will be explaining…"

"_Okay_, okay – it was just an accident, alright? I'm not hurt," Isaya cleared his throat, "…badly,"

"You look like you fell on the dagger. Didn't you know you could just _pick it up with your hands–" _

"Hey! It wasn't like that, it was an _accident–"_

"It's _your_ _blood_,"

"I'm _fine_,"

"There's a lot of it,"

"Isaya, will you _shut up_?" he snarled, his uncommonly good mood extinguished by Isaya's nagging, "Quit stealing Christmas, Mr Grinch,"

"I'm just saying – look – will you just… go get washed up. And go drink some blood or something, for _God's _sake. If you die on me…" Isaya actually whimpered, looking so pathetic that Zero agreed to follow him just to get him to stop mothering him. But when he started heading in one direction and Isaya the other, they stopped.

"I was going to the Infirmary–"

"- was going to get Kaname," Isaya blinked, "I assumed you would want to drink your blood fresh from the tap,"

Zero flinched at his wording, but he couldn't remember if Isaya knew about the blood supply, "Kaname's got some blood frozen in bags for me and they're in the Infirmary, so…"

"Ah yes, the frozen blood. I've heard about this," Isaya wrinkled his nose, "It sounds disgusting,"

"Tastes like shit," Zero agreed, "But when he's busy, I have to… you know," he shrugged, "So I'm gonna get some – "

"No, you need your strength, Zero," Isaya insisted. "You need _fresh _blood, okay?" This back-and-forth was wearing on Zero's patience, so much like Benomi – speaking of –

"How – where is Benomi?"

"Oh, he's fine," Isaya again waved him off, "Actually, he's in the Infirmary with your sensei, pretending to be a certain beaten-up spy, as you know. I'm going to find Kaname for you, alright? You need some _fresh_ blood in you, not… bagged _frozen_… ugh," before Zero could protest – "_You _are his greatest priority, understand? He'll never be too busy for you,"

"I'm still going to the Infirmary," Zero maintained, raising his finger at Isaya's face, "I need a _lot_ of blood, and I won't let myself drain Kaname dry so…it's not _that _bad, really," He was lying. Bagged blood was_ revolting_.

Isaya rolled his eyes, "If you say so. Go check on my boy for me too, while you're there," and then he patted Zero's shoulder, "Be safe,"

Zero went the other way, hurrying along as his mind began to slip into more bloodthirsty thoughts. He slipped the dagger into his right boot and raced up the stairs, hunger drawing him onwards with increasing haste.

It took him minutes to get lost.

"Crap," he muttered, peeking into an empty guest room. He was on the right floor, in the right section of the Castle, but… the Infirmary seemed to have moved. Either that or he was horribly lost and had no idea where he was. And there was… no one around to ask directions from (even if he was allowed to). Strange. He knew he wasn't supposed to interact with anyone anyway, but there was _nobody_ about.

Spooky. Zero peeked into the open doors he passed, trying to see if anything looked familiar enough to orientate himself. As time passed, he got more desperate to recognise _anything_ at all and forgot his initial mission to find the Infirmary, because that was trivial compared to the fact that _everyone_ seemed to be… just _gone, _and every corridor looked the _same._

He stopped in the next corridor at the sound of voices.

They were coming from a closed door, not along the corridor. He meant to go on but they captured his interest based on their sheer volume. Someone was either very angry or very upset. There was no laughter and the air was thick with tension.

Zero leant against the wall to listen, his eye darting around quickly – he couldn't see much from the angle he was at. Silently he moved so his back was against the door instead, and from here he could peek through the narrow opening and – _shit. _What was _this_?

"…think it's time. With him always-"

"- I know," Nori nodded, his lips twisting strangely. His eyes wide and fixed on Kohaku's eager smile, "And the time is perfect. You cannot hesitate. Not for a second," he squeezed his son's shoulder, "Not for a second, you hear?"

"Yes father," Kohaku grinned, "While he's too heartbroken to fight. When he least expects it,"

"First the girls…"

What on _earth? _He'd forgotten about those two still being in the Castle. But he thought Yuuki and Ruka were watching over them, so what were they doing here? Zero didn't like what he was seeing and it sounded like –

They were traitors?

Zero's heart stopped as he caught sight of a wisp of long ash-blonde hair, peeking out of the shadows of the far-off corner. Could that be Ruka? He squinted, and yes – there was her form slumped against the wall, half-obscured by shadow. She must have been knocked out.

Kohaku lifted a small blade and caressed it with glee. He crawled over to Ruka and stroked her hair. Wait a minute – they _both _could _see?_

What conniving _bastards_! To have pretended all along that they were _blind_ just to gain access to the Castle, and it look like – like they were planning to _kill '_the girls' and then _Kaname_! To think – they'd been playing them all this time.

"He'll be pleased with us," Nori whispered. It was not difficult to think who _'he' _was.

He couldn't just stand by and let this _happen_.

Zero flipped the safety off 'Rose, slamming the door open and swinging around –

But they weren't there. Zero pivoted around, but the room was empty. What the - ? He'd just seen them there! Not a moment ago – but now the Hanadagi's had vanished. What the fuck?

The door swung closed behind him, like something out of a horror movie. And as Zero turned to it, he knew instantly that he should have never set foot in the room because –

It was a trap.

The door was locked, and he swore loudly as Sara emerged from the shadows. This was… Kaname had _warned _him of how skilled she was at mind tricks, but he'd never thought it meant she could create illusions as convincing as this. _Fuck_.

God fucking _damn it_. He watched her cross the distance between them like a lioness closing in on her prey, the sinking feeling of despair closing in on him again. If he was fast enough he could put a bullet through her head or her heart and finish her off, but he didn't know if she'd paralysed him or it was his own fear doing it, but there was no escape. Not anymore.

Sara's eyes curved upwards as she smiled, her perfect white teeth gleamed and Zero could see where her fangs dipped into her lower lip. It dawned on him what shit he was in when fangs started growing, her eyes became a glowing _red_ and the distance closing between them.

All too suddenly, she was in his face, staring up at him like he was a meal.

"So…" Sara traced his arm with a delicate hand, goosebumps erupting in every place she touched, "…it's _you _then. The one he's been hiding from me," she cooed, "It's so _obvious_ when everyone else stays together and you are _alone_,"

_Shit_, Zero gasped as she leant even closer.

"No one thought of that, did they? When you're alone, there are no places to hide. There is no one to notice you missing, because you're not meant to be seen – and yes, I saw into your mind before. I knew it was you lurking in the shadows, Isamu-chan. I know _everything_.

I know that you'll fight every urge to scream when I start carving you up. You'll think you're being brave, not making a sound, but you'll secretly hope Kaname will come save you. Will he be fast enough to come save you, now you've subjected him to _Humanity_? Will he make it in time before you break?" she laughed, "It's your own doing – you condemned him to your mortal life. I wonder if he'll die on your dying breath, or if he'll waste away into nothing and die of broken heart," Sara winked at him, "Just like last time,"

Something snapped in Zero, but as he made to swing his leg at her – she caught his ankle. As he tried to empty 'Rose in his face – she twisted the gun out of his hold. He grunted as her fingertips suddenly curled over his stomach and started to dig in slowly, and then more and more – he gagged when he realised what she was trying to do.

"How can such a low-level thing like you smell so _delicious_? Oh, you're trembling, poor darling," it dug even deeper, clawing into his ribcage, his breathing hitched. And then he was gasping for breath. "Don't worry, I can numb your pain. I hear part of what kills you faster is the pain, so I hope you can last longer this wa–"

The door crashed open, a chunk of wall also exploding as Kaname appeared, enraged and deformed by his overwhelming need to _kill. _He was fully transformed into his Vampire state, and was panting and snarling like some monster out of a horror movie. Sara's clawed hands retracted and he heaved a few huge breaths, his vision blurring from the lack of oxygen making him dizzy.

"So you decided to join us?" Sara called, opening her arms to Kaname in mock-invitation. He growled, ploughing forwards so fast he was a blur too. Zero only managed to jump a few yards out of the way before they started fighting in a way he had never seen before – biting, ripping, clawing – it was like they were wild animals. He couldn't tear his eyes away from the horrid sight, paralyzed as he was on the floor.

Then someone was lifting him up. He blinked in surprise, turning to find Ichiru hoisting him up and dragging him to the door, "We have to go, _Kaname_," he yanked Zero through the opening in the wall, and called over his shoulder, "We have to _go!_ He's coming!"

He couldn't tell if Kaname had heard them. He was still rolling on the floor, dragging Sara back by her hair and clawing at her face. Pureblood fighting was nothing like he'd imagined – it was just the same as two brawling Humans –rough and dirty, with nothing but a fierce desire for revenge pushing them forwards.

Zero didn't realise he wasn't letting Ichiru drag him away till he felt his hands hurting from clinging to the doorway – "_No–"_ an agonised sound from his throat as he couldn't bring himself to leave Kaname behind. Ichiru was hauling him away – "_**Kaname!**_" he cried out in panic.

He saw a flash of Kaname's face, and then it disappeared in the fray again.

"What the – what's–" Zero heard thundering footsteps, and then there was Isaya on his other side, staring at the fight with utter dismay. He looked at Zero and Ichiru, and then began helping Ichiru pry his fingers from the wall.

"You need to _leave_," Isaya yelled, managing to get one of his hands off, "I found the others piled up in a room. She got to all of them. Zero – come _on!"_

"I'm not leaving him!" he shrugged Ichiru off, but his brother whacked him then, which disorientated him enough to get him to let go.

"Kaname!" Ichiru shouted, "He's coming – he's _here! _We have to go _now!"_

He had no idea what was going on, but suddenly Kaname was there in the doorway with them. Whatever Ichiru had said was enough to drag Kaname away from the fight, and he was on him immediately – "He's here?"

Ichiru nodded – "We have to take him–"

"I know," Kaname panted, and then he was grabbing Zero's wrist and turning to Isaya. Without even asking anything of him, Isaya nodded.

"Go," he said, "I'll get the others out. You need to go where he can't find you,"

"As do you," Kaname told him, "You need to get them to Town,"

Isaya nodded again, and then he was racing off down the corridor again. Kaname took Ichiru's wrist too – Zero struggled, "We can't just leave him here! He's not gonna be able to–"

"We don't have _time_, Zero," Kaname hissed, and with no warning he began to _run. _

Zero only got to glance behind once, to see Sara's one eye winking red in the darkness, the echo of her laughter telling him she was still alive, and she'd be back for them. For him.

They weren't running as fast as they usually did – in fact, he and Ichiru were keeping pace with Kaname, and they were running like Humans out of the Castle. It was so bizarre, so much so that Zero clung to Kaname's hand so he wouldn't trip over in shock.

"Where are we going?" he heard Ichiru shout from Kaname's other side.

"We're going to the last place we _can _go," he replied, "The last place he'll look..."


	98. The Last Fortress

**Author's Note:**

**Crap, this one's long :D**

**I know I keep apologising for my late updates, and I have reason to - for keeping you guys waiting for so long - but I really, **_**really **_**appreciate and admire your patience, and can't thank you enough for being so understanding. Uni is hard - don't underestimate it if you're thinking of going for it. It takes up all your free time and saps you of energy. I've never been so tired.**

**Apologies if this chapter seems more aggressive than usual. Read it as - the climax approaching - a build up of pent up emotion resulting in plenty of profanity :) **

**(totally not inspired by the desire to kill inanimate objects, like _homework, _for example. because that would be pointless and childish, wouldnt it? and your author is none of those things XD )**

**But between each back-to-back project I've managed to piece together bits and pieces of this chapter. It's been particularly challenging, for reasons of which you will see at the end of the chapter (teehee~)**

**K, tell me what you think. Thanks for reading, as always, yours,**

**Puui x**

**BTW: I HAVE FANART! OMG YEAAAAAH! LOVE YOU SOOO MUCH FOR MAKING IT NICO!**

**HERE IT IS:**

**ihaveahi5. deviantart art/happy-holidays-339030693**

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><p><em><strong>"The brave may not live forever, but the cautious don't live at all."<strong>_

**~ Ashley L.**

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><p>The rain had them drenched in seconds – added to the fact that they were running to god knows where fromfuck knows <em>who… <em>Zero was absolutely furious. Especially since being _outdoors_ after having stayed in the Castle for so long was a complete shock to the system. Zero couldn't believe how his world had shrunk down to the inside of the Castle in such a short space of time, and that in being outside it he felt absurdly _naked_.

Besides this was the fact that Kaname was making them run_ - _what could possibly exist on _Earth, _so terrifying as to force _Kaname _to run? Whatever it was had to be dangerous enough to threaten a Pureblood, which was pretty unthinkable - it meant they should really fucking _run. _Because Kaname was technically at the very top of the food chain - he shouldn't _ever _have to run. Even a part of Zero felt like he shouldn't have to either - he was a _Hunter, _for god's sake, it made no sense to him to _be _chased_. _The world was being turned on its fucking head.

Zero's wet fingers slipped through Kaname's – he didn't know if one of them had tripped, dragging the rest of them down or if somebody had been pulled away from the group, but he heard Kaname yell in surprise and then mud splashed everywhere. It got in his eyes and his mouth. Kaname hauled him up to his feet as he blinked through his sticky lashes and sputtered,

"Ichiru,"

-before he could actually understand why he was saying it. Then it hit him.

"_Ichiru_–!"

"Zero – no," Kaname tugged him back, much to his despair, "Zero–"

The snarl that ripped out of his throat didn't surprise him. Kaname was always testing his patience, and now he was at breaking-point, because fuck it all: Ichiru was _missing. _Gone. _Taken. _The possibilities were dark and each one more horrendous than the last.

"Unless you can tell me where in god's name Ichiru has been taken, then fu–"

"You're covered in blood,"

"-ck you - _what?_" he gaped. Kaname was delusional. Oh, no wait… in the rush, he'd completely forgotten about stabbing himself before in Juri's Garden, and the evidence of it was still on him. Kaname didn't look _too _affected by it, yet, but he thought he still might owe him an explanation for it, at least.

"Long story,"

Or a shitty _excuse_.

"Look," he chirped, batting away Kaname's questioning hands, "I stabbed myself, okay? But I didn't die and that's all good now, so can we leave this for another time and start worrying about my _brother going missing in this godforsaken wood?"_

Kaname shot him a look which told him to _please _get a hold of himself, but nodded nonetheless, "Take your shirt off,"

…sometimes it was like he wasn't even _listening_ to him.

His hesitation must have shown on his face, because Kaname stepped forwards, but before he could take Zero's shirt off for him he peeled the drenched fabric off himself and chucked it to the side. In only his undershirt, he shook violently under the torrents of icy water.

"That too," Kaname insisted, and proceeded to peel his last layer of clothing off him. _Excellent_. "It has blood on it. They'll track us faster with your scent,"

Kaname, presumably using some strange Pureblood methods, managed to light a fire under water and burn the ruined clothes. Zero sighed resignedly. He was in love with a madman.

"Kaname," he called. Kaname's head jerked, but his attention was mainly on stoking the fire, "_Ichiru_," Zero reminded him.

Kaname shrugged, taking off his own coat, "He'll be fine," Zero anticipated his next move was going to be to wrap his coat over his shoulders like a 'gentleman', so he took the offering out of Kaname's hands before he could and slipped it on himself.

"How can you say that? He's all alone - _all by himself - _with god knows what chasing us!"

"There's nothing we can do, Zero. He _chose_ to use himself as bait,"

"- _bait?_" Sometimes he just could not believe the kind of shit that came out of Kaname's mouth. He only waited for enough time to let the implications of that sink in. "Did you just say-"

He couldn't even finish his sentence – it didn't make sense -

For him to be here when Ichiru needed him. He couldn't be here, not when Ichiru was in _danger _–

"Zero, _no_," Kaname dragged him back again, "He made his choice – by following him we'll only be making him a bigger target. Let him go. He knows where we're going. We'll meet him there,"

_Let him… go?_

…that was easy enough for Kaname to say, but he wasn't _his _brother.

How? How could he expect him to leave Ichiru behind?

…then again, did he _really_ have a choice in the matter - what _could _they do? If Ichiru had been taken, they'd have _had _to look for him - but the fact was Ichiru had willingly _gone. _God knows why, but that made things very different.

Zero started when Kaname squeezed his wrist gently – "Come on. Not much further,"

The darkness was beginning to mess with him, creeping into the edges of his vision. Zero kept scanning the trees. Even though he knew they were alone, he had the distinct feeling they were being watched. When the trees thinned out and light filtered in, Zero abruptly remembered that it was actually still only afternoon. The brilliant white light spilling in caught the tops of the trees and lit up glades into shining little pockets of blazing lemon grass. Zero looking around for anything in particular to explain why they were slowing down to a walk. It was only when he opened his mouth to ask Kaname that he realised he was _gone, _and the slowing down was because Kaname wasn't there to drag him along anymore. Without a word, he'd disappeared just like Ichiru had. Like smoke through his fingers he'd _vanished_.

Alarm bells started ringing in his head. How could both of them have vanished like that? Were they being picked off, one by one?

The prickly sensation of someone watchinghim coincidentally returned, and – fuck – there he was… there was someone standing too far away to be seen properly, but he was pretty certain it was _them_ watching him. Despite Zero's determination to stay in the thick of fights, he wasn't ignorant of the fact that he wasn't anywhere near as strong as he used to be - Kaname had barely laid a hand on his shoulder before and yet managed to restrain him. So if his stalker turned out to be hostile he would be_ so_ fucked.

The figure wasn't moving, and instead of a dark silhouette, it was… light. A white figure. A white shadow - was that even possible? By this point Zero was so used to seeing strange things that this didn't actually register straight away. A part of him crazily thought it could be Ichiru standing there, glowing in the dark like some spectral creeper. If he was as… as wide as a tree, and… taller than six feet -

Okay, so it wasn't Ichiru. Who, or _what _was it then?

Just as he was about to find out, he was grabbed from behind.

"Where have you been?" Kaname hissed. How dare he be angry at _him _for wandering off when _he _had disappeared on _him_?

"Oh, _don't _start with me. Tell me where we're _going _first!" he glanced over his shoulder at the white spectre, watching it bob its head apologetically in an oddly familiar motion before it dissipated into the ghostly sunlight. Zero groaned. Why was he hallucinating now of all times? Could he never be at peace in his own mind?

"Somewhere safe-"

"_Don't,_" he warned, yanking Kaname to a stop, "I'm not a _child_ you can tow around, and I'm sick of you treating me that way, so think _carefully _before you start censoring everything out. I want the truth,"

Kaname conceded defeat with a weary sigh, "We're going to a fort," he confessed, as though those two words took enough effort to _sigh._

Zero paused, "And what are we going there _for_?"

Kaname looked embarrassed to admit it - "To _hide, _Zero,"

That shut Zero up, because it confirmed his suspicions - they _were _running. Something _did _exist out there scary enough to force Kaname to hide. He didn't know what to say.

"It's outside the Old Citadel - one of the first fortresses to be built, eventually abandoned due to the city moving northwards, leaving it behind to deteriorate,"

"…why are we going to the _oldest_ one?" he asked sceptically. Why of all of them would they go for the oldest when it was probably biting the dust?

"It is the last surviving one that still stands without need for reparations, even after many, many years,"

"So, it was built better than the others," Zero deduced - noticing belatedly how they were walking now, not running. Kaname's slowed pace confused him, but for his lungs and legs, he was grateful.

"Yes," Kaname nodded, a trace of wistful nostalgia seeping into his tone, "You tend to put more effort into something when you think it will be the only one - you build it to last. We built the Citadel with only one fortress in mind, we never dreamed it would grow – that the Kingdom would grow to be so big that it would be insufficient. It was discontinued and forgotten,"

He was beginning to recognise the slight inflection in Kaname's voice as he talked as his Ancient self, and when he shifted back to speaking as their present-day King. There was a cloudiness to the former - as though the life he spoke of was all but a dream - and then clarity in his voice when he came to - waking from the dream. No need to guess which fort was Kaname's favourite.

"But doesn't that mean Katsuo there at the time when you were building it?" Zero pointed out, "He'll know about it. He'll know where we're going,"

Kaname gave him a funny look.

"Of course he'll know,"

Zero blinked. Well, that was unexpected. He waited for Kaname to elaborate.

Kaname obviously _didn't_.

Did Kaname really not see the problem with this? "Don't you see the problem with this?"

He cocked his head to the side curiously. Apparently _not._

"Well, maybe it just sounded like you said you know_ he_ knows where we're going and you sound completely _fine _with it. Which is okay, I guess… if you're fucking batshit _craz_-"

"Zero," he muttered, wide-eyed, "That's not what I meant – okay. Okay," he watched Kaname suck in a deep breath. With a mix of exasperation and fondness he remembered that Kaname seemed to always be under the impression that people could peek into his brain like he could theirs, therefore explanations were mostly unnecessary, "Rido _knows_ where we're going. That is knowledge Katsuo shared with him, so there is no way to escape him now. That's just too bad for us - but he isn't the one we're running from – Sara is,"

"Won't he just tell her where we are though?" It was fairly logical to assume that since they were on the same side, they'd share secrets to help each other. Kaname shook his head.

"Not anymore, not now that he's found out Sara has her own agenda. They were only allies out of convenience – now that they have different goals, they're technically _competing _to get to us first. We have nowhere to hide from Rido, but we can hide from Sara for the time-being,"

The fact that Sara was such a concern to Kaname was worrying, but as Zero took a second to really look at Kaname - he noticed how he was still scratched and bruised from his scuffle with her. He wasn't _healing. _He wasn't as strong as he used to be either, the Bond - Zero had almost forgotten about its effects - was taking its toll on him. He kind of saw Kaname's point then, when things were put in perspective like that.

And even if it was just that she really pissed Kaname off, he would still have decided then to agree to listen to Kaname… because she really pissed him off too.

However.

"Rido-"

"Forget Rido,"

"But _Rido_-"

"He won't come after us, Zero,"

"Why _wouldn't_ he?"

How could he be so sure? Weak, outnumbered - this was the best time Rido would ever have to attack them. Why _wouldn't _he strike them while they were down? Kaname frustratingly left him hanging. With a sharp tug on his arm and another muttered, "_Not much further_," he managed to deflect his questions - and even though Zero was pretty sure Kaname was using his fear to evade his questioning - he wasn't willing to take the risk. He was just made to run and left to worry.

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><p>"<em>Not much further" <em>turned out to be a long winding path over a limestone wasteland covering the slope. Clambering over it showed them an exquisite view of the top of dark forest they'd just run through. Zero would've really liked it, if only his throat wasn't as dry and rough as sandpaper and his eyes weren't blurry from the cold air. He still hadn't had any blood too and the effects of it were beginning to take a toll on his concentration. He was uncomfortably aware of Kaname's blood pumping up and down his body and the hint of his sweat in the air making it all the more delicious.

He stumbled over a rock. That was when Kaname stopped them.

"What?" Zero asked defensively, pretending he hadn't stubbed his big toe on a fucking big rock for the fiftieth time in two minutes. Kaname gave him a discontented hum. "_What?_" he repeated, more exhausted than anything.

"You need a rest," he said, and without warning dropped to the floor cross-legged, forcing Zero down beside him. The rocks were worn smooth from the rain... that was about the only thing comfortable about the ground. Zero stared at Kaname, flummoxed by his utter calm, given the circumstances.

"What?" he repeated blankly, "We can't – we can't –" he sputtered hopelessly. Moments ago they'd been _running_ for their lives, what the fuck were they doing this for now?

"Who says that we can't?" Kaname asked, infuriatingly cool.

"We - we're being _chased, _Kana – for _fuck's sake_–" it just didn't feel like the right time for idly sitting down.

"The more exhausted we are now, the less likely we'll be able to face them in the end," there was a pause that let Zero consider this, "And win,"

Zero conceded his point, but his body was still jittery with adrenaline, and he couldn't shake the feeling that things were closing in on them.

"Rest," Kaname repeated.

It was early evening, and the pink sky and golden sun were utterly divine. He hadn't realised how much he needed to relax - to calm down and breathe - because there hadn't been a chance moment to_. _It didn't even matter that the floor was wet and cold and horribly hard. Without thinking about it, he took Kaname's hand and traced the fine bones on the back of glanced up in surprise but not in a bad way. This was a scene cut straight out of one of those stupid romance films – the kinds Yuuki and Yori cried over during their sleepovers. It was the kind of scene he'd usually roll his eyes at, so he was surprised that when he found himself actually enjoying experiencing it for himself.

"You're thirsty," Kaname whispered in his ear, making him jump in surprise. In fact, he'd completely forgotten about his bloodthirst until Kaname mentioned it now, but in one fluid movement Kaname twisted around so he was fangs-in-neck before he could even think about it, but then he was -

Suddenly pushing back - pushing Kaname away. He shoving him away and wiping the blood from his lips.

That wonderful flavour – that rich, tangy blood which he could drink _gallons_ of - that was greed speaking, not hunger, not anymore. He was full. No more blood. That tiny sip of blood had quenched his usually insatiable appetite. What this meant didn't sink in for a good few minutes, till it suddenly _hit him. _

**No more blood**.

No more hunger. Free of the curse. _Free. _No longer falling - he'd done what no one had ever thought possible - instead of falling to the bottom - to the tragedy of an E's life - no one ever expected that he might actually _rise_, rise to be free of the shackles of madness dragging him under.

Zero let out a shuddery breath. Now with his whole lifetime stretched before of him, years and years to be had, it was simply… unimaginable. Unbelievable and daunting. After being Bitten he'd always lived with the knowledge that he only had a few years left to live - and that had become something of a hollow comfort: _You're only going to live this long, you can't do anything in that time so nothing you do will matter -_

_Don't expect to mean anything. Don't think you'll be remembered. At the end of your life, you will have nothing to your name._

But now, he could _do_ somethingwith his life, and it was overwhelming. He could have goals - ambitions. He could _dream_. To be given this was mind-blowing. Back when he'd wanted Yuuki, the biggest thing preventing him from _really_ trying to sweep her off her feet was knowing how little time he had to offer her and how unfair it would be for her to only have him a couple years and then have to live on with the heartache. Even with Kaname, a part of his hesitation was owed to this - but now, he could give him years and _years_.

He could give him all the time he had. His whole _life. _

"It worked," Kaname breathed. Zero laughed, because Kaname knew exactly what had happened - of course he would… so why did he sound so unhappy about it then? Surely Kaname would be glad that they had more time together… well, they did if they got through this damn war, that is. He lifted his head and found Kaname staring at him with an unreadable expression on his face, the smile on his face looking more and more strained and not at all convincing.

"This is good news. It… I guess you don't need me anymore, do you?" Kaname valiantly tried to stay smiling, but it was useless to hide his trepidation.

Ah, so that was it.

There were several different ways Zero could go about answering him - but as usual when put in an emotional situation and faced with potential disaster, he dove into it without thinking, desperate to get it over with and spitting out the first thing that popped into his head.

"I _never_ needed you,"

Obviously it was the wrong thing to say - because Kaname's face crumpled - and Zero didn't know what he could do to turn the situation around.

"Well then…" Kaname said quietly, turning around - Zero swore loudly and then reached for him.

"No, wait Kaname - I didn't mean-"

"I think I know what you meant-"

"_Wait, _Kaname," he snapped, not out of anger, but sheer panic. Somehow, seeing Kaname turning his back on him gave him the chills - like he was shutting himself off from the Sun. "You - I didn't mean it like that. You _know _I didn't mean it like that. It came out wrong - it always comes out wrong. I'm sorry," he blurted. Maybe that was what made Kaname turn around again - what with apologies as common as blue moons around them - but not with a happy expression at all.

"Go on then, explain what you meant," Kaname dared him, "I think your particular phrasing was rather clear,"

"That's because it was - it's the truth. I never - I've never…" the words tangled up in his mouth as he tried to straighten out the mess he'd made. "…I never needed to be saved. I didn't want to,"

Kaname's nonchalant façade dropped in an instant, his eyes going wide with horror. For a few seconds he simply gaped at Zero like he'd grown a third eye. And then he realised what he'd said.

He'd never told anyone before about his maddening desire to end it all - no one knew how dark it had been when he'd been Bitten - how he _longed _to die. The self-loathing he'd felt had been so powerful, it took a certain lack of care for living to actually face each day - that was partially why Zero was such a good Hunter. He had no concern for his own welfare, he pushed himself to breaking point to train to be useful for _something _for the time he had. And then as a Hunter he was _ruthless. _There _was _nothing he wouldn't try or do, because nothing was too dangerous when you only had a few years to live.

That was the deep, dark hole Zero had managed to climb out of somehow. He had no desire to revisit it, but if it would help Kaname to understand what an idiot he was being… well, he was always up for showing Kaname that he could still be an idiot.

"What do you mean… you never wanted to be saved?" Kaname whispered in horror. Zero figured it must be a frigging tragedy, hearing the one you loved telling you they had, at one point in their life, wanted to die.

He shrugged, "I couldn't see the point in living anymore. I was - I _am _a freak, Kaname. And back then… it really bothered me,"

"_Bothered_ you? Zero, you're telling me you wanted to _die,"_

"That's because I did, okay? But what I'm saying now is…" he paused, the thing he was about to say vanishing from his mind, "…that I never wanted or needed to be saved - I never even knew it could be done, so how could I want such a thing? But what I… what I need _now _is a reason for living, so - how can you say you're not needed anymore?"

"It's just that after all the trouble I have caused you, I thought… perhaps you would be glad to be rid of me," It was the sincerity in his voice that had Zero flummoxed. He slapped him quickly.

"_Dumbass_," he stammered, watching Kaname clutch his cheek and the tendril of anxiety unfurl in a long sigh. "Seriously – how can you think that? After all we've been through, you'd have thought…"

"I didn't – I mean-" Kaname babbled, "You're just very-"

"Digging a hole, Kaname," Zero warned, but Kaname pressed on -

"I keep _doing _this to you and I _hate _it,"

"Doing what, Kaname?" Zero asked, on his way to being exasperated again.

Kaname sighed heavily - "You might not need me, but _I_ need you so much. I can't help but chase after you hopelessly - I need you in my life, and I _force _you to be in it, whether or not you want to,"

"That is complete and utter bullshit," he spat, "You never _forced _me_. _You cannot _force _me to do anything. I make my _own _decisions, regardless of whatever hold you think you have over me – you ought to know that," there was a pause where Zero considered if he'd ever admitted it aloud to Kaname in person. Probably not. "Even if I never chose to fall in love with _you_, it happened. There's nothing we can blame that on. Other than god, I guess. If you believe in that sort of thing. Sometimes things just _happen, _Kaname, and there doenst have to be a reason for it,"

Kaname bit his lip – the tension in his body again dissolving into relief.

"I'm glad you think so," he confessed with a sigh, "You've always been far wiser than your years," his head dropped in his arms, "I don't know what I'd do without you, I'm… scared to think _what. _Ten thousand years of Sleep was the only thing that kept me from tearing the world apart. It's… I can't…"

At the mention of the Slept, Zero expected to flare up again – thinking of Isamu and expecting all that jealousy to steal him away again…

But instead, Zero felt only mild irritation at its mention, like a bug buzzing in his face. The burning anger was not there anymore. Maybe after Juri's test he was all out of jealousy - what a relief.

He couldn't even remember if he'd ever simply _told _Kaname he wasn't Isamu. He didn't mind if Kaname had loved Isamu in the past, what mattered to him was the present, and that when he said he loved _him_, he really meant him, not Isamu.

"Please,"

That word escaped him, drawing a look of suspicion on Kaname's face, since its rarity in Zero's vocabulary meant it was often kept for special occasions.

Such as re-determining his identity, once and for all. Or something.

That wasn't the word he was going for, but he'd run with it.

"You've been - I mean – you've been using me to fill a space Isamu left behind for a while now. I think. Maybe you've got mixed up between us, because even I can admit that we look alike, but I can't – we can't letthat carry on because it isn't fair for either of us to keep pretending. Do you understand? I'm not him. I have to know for sure that you understand this, and when you talk to me – are you talking to _me_… or him?"

Kaname blinked slowly, staring at Zero as though he'd grown two heads.

"_You_," he said, clearly not understanding the question. Without meaning to, he was slowly coaxing Zero into anger.

"No – Isamu _or_ me?"

"But Zero, I don't understand – you _are _him –"

"_No,"_ Zero's hands curled into fists – _not this again -_

"Fine,"

Kaname shrugged, and Zero was stunned by him surrendering like this. Usually, he would expect to have some back-and-forth arguing with Kaname, followed by spitted curses and insults (on his part) and a period of stony silence (on Kaname's).

He smirked at Zero's confused silence.

"Don't believe me then. You can only lead the horse to the water*," he shrugged again, but that reverse psychology was making him think. Zero could see how impossible it was for Kaname to prove to him he was Isamu. He couldn't persuade him - no one could, other than himself.

"Crap, Kaname, if you say so…" he muttered, realising they were at moot point. "So, can we… get going now? I think we should get back to running for our lives, or something. This ground is making me numb,"

Kaname chuckled lightly, but the fact that he got to his feet just a little too eagerly made Zero worry that maybe they _had_ rested a little too long. As they pushed ahead, he fought down the urge to push Kaname more into explaining why he left it to Zero to choose what to believe after giving him all this crap. The man may have his secrets but someday, when they had more time, he would find out. He had to.

Another thing was niggling the back of his mind - it took him some time to figure out, but it was just a little thing. What Kaname had said before - _you can lead the horse to the water… _horse. That one word transformed the shape of the silhouette he saw before - that white figure under the trees - into something corporeal. Now that Zero thought about it, it could have almost been that of a _horse._

* * *

><p>Like he'd said before, the fortress looked like the oldest building in the world because it probably <em>was<em>, however it still stood and was imposing in its own right. Not from its size, but by the way it had been abandoned to ruin and yet continued to survive. It defied all expectations, undefeated by time, and even in shambles it still managed to exude a forceful aura.

They had to dig their way through the rubble of a collapsed gate though, and crawl through the tight space. Zero could hear the hiss of air escaping, as though they'd popped open a pressurised system. The staleness of the gusts of air blowing in chilled the back of his neck. He wondered how it could be pressurised when the courtyard inside the gates had to be open to the air with no roof, but perhaps it was something that could be explained by magic - a protective bubble keeping the fort in vacuum.

Or there was something else making that hissing noise.

They were crawling into a tight, dark place and there was an unidentified hissing noise.

"Kana-"

"Trust me," Kaname spared him a glance, an impression of a smile in that one look. It was amazing how he could say those two words and give him this one look and it dispelled all his fears.

Zero sighed.

They crossed a courtyard to the far wall was connected to the mountain-side - well, it was more like the mountain was supporting the wall. The crumbling heap of wall material, that is. The more and more Zero looked around at the fort, the less confidant he was that they would be safe there. It was a wreck. Even if Sara didn't catch up with them fast enough, a wall might just collapse on top of them and crush them to death.

He watched and waited as Kaname pawed at the stone. Before he had time to ask, he was grabbed again and shoved down a chute that hadn't been there before.

A chute.

A sooty, dank little tube. He was sliding down it - it was just wide enough for one and a half widths of his torso and Kaname's various limbs kept tangling with his every time they clashed, and soon - despite it all - Zero was gasping for breath, laughing so badly that it would hurt more than the bruises he'd get later. It was just so bizarre and unexpected - a slide? An underground slide - where were they - where was Kaname taking him?

He tumbled into the light all too suddenly, his sudden landing knocked the laughter right out of him. Even though they were definitely underground, it was somehow still well lit and airy. The only way onwards that he could see was **up**_. _

A staircase, stacked as far up as he could see - and Kaname was nudging him to it insistently. What was going on? Another nudge forced him to climb. What surprised him was that what appeared to be thousands of stairs were in fact an illusion - painted onto the underside of the stairs to project the whole staircase further than it really was. The coolness of the air and the sound of animals scuttling about meant they were already near the surface. Sure enough, Zero made it to the top in no time, and then he froze.

The stairs ended with a wall and a door bolted and welded shut. Kaname squeezed around him and with some Pureblood trick managed to crack the locks into pieces. He went through, and Zero would've bruised his hips had he surged forward at the speed Kaname had, were it not for the hand swinging down in front of his face in warning. Apparently the door was half-submerged in earth, or the ground behind it at least started at waist-height. He was hauled through, into the bitterly cold night air.

"Shit," gusted out of his mouth in a cloud of mist. Compared to the warm underground air, this was like being slapped in the face.

Kaname lead him to another half-buried structure - what seemed to be the top part of the wall tower. It was like someone had lifted it off the crumbling wall below and placed it onto the mountain-side. Totally and utterly bizarre.

The door was open this time, which he thought nothing of until was dragged back and shoved behind. The visible tension in Kaname's back made him realise the problem. The door was _open_, but there was a rusted bolt on the floor cut clean in half, just like Kaname had done. Someone was already inside. Someone with either a really massive cutting pliers or Pureblood superpowers.

"Stay," Kaname whispered, and then Zero was standing alone. The door was wide open but it was pitch black inside and Kaname wasn't making a sound. He counted the seconds, breathing slowly so he could see through the steam pouring out of his mouth. Every muscle in his body taut in anxiety.

Then Kaname re-emerged, hand in hand with…

He had to stare for a while before he exclaimed, "You bastard!" awash with relief at seeing his brother alive and well. Ichiru smiled tightly - he had to pause for a second to see whether it was real-Ichiru or whoever was possessing him… because the blankness in his eyes told him it wasn't him. Kaname had to be aware of this too, since his hold on him looked more like a just-in-case-he-bolts-again thing, than a skip-in-the-daisy-field one.

"Zero is fine?" Ichiru asked out of the blue, asking Kaname instead of him for whatever reason.

Kaname nodded, "He's fine," he answered quietly. Zero shifted, slightly put out by them excluding him.

Ichiru smiled at him little more genuinely this time and motioned to the door, "Please, come inside," as if he owned the place.

Zero exploded with what he'd been dying to know, "Where were you? What happened?"

Ichiru sighed, "We would have had a better chance if we were to split up, and since you obviously can't leave Kaname, that meant I had to go. Anyway, I was meaning to return to the Castle to check on the others - who are alright, by the way. Seiren seems to have taken charge of things on the battlefield, and they're doing well so far,"

"You were - what _wrong _with you recently? Running off like that, are you crazy?" Zero couldn't stop his voice from steadily rising, his big-brother instincts still reaching out to this imposter. It was the creepiest thing, speaking to someone else - someone using his brother's body - and finding out that that person had taken his brother into a _battlefield_. He thought they'd want to keep Ichiru safe to carry out whatever task they had planned, not charging him into the middle of a freaking _battle_.

Kaname cut in. "How are they doing?"

He shrugged, "Hard to tell. It's not been long enough on the battlefield to make much sense of it. But we're definitely not being beaten yet, if that's any consolation," _**yet**__, he says_, Zero wanted to point out. "However, the Es are tougher than ever before - a mix of organised chaos that makes it completely impossible for us to anticipate their attacks,"

"Have you heard anything about Sara?"

"No one's seen Sara," Ichiru shook his head, "Not since your brawl. It was the first place I checked on in the Castle, but all that was left was the room you wrecked. All we know is that she's looking for you,"

"And we don't know where she is," Kaname surmised glumly. He shut the door, cutting out all the light in the room, but instantly a flame blazed at his fingertips - and out of nowhere there was a cosy campfire in the middle of the floor. Zero crawled over to it, grateful for its heat and comfort. Ichiru was still standing apart from them - you couldn't help but glance at him every so often. He looked so out of place with everything else. There was a strange… aura about him. And it was _pushing _at him.

It was gentle, but persistent and gave him the chills.

"So… what's the plan?" Ichiru asked. Kaname shrugged.

"We wait,"

Zero blanched. That was _it?_ He looked at Ichiru's face for the reaction he was hoping for - disbelief, outrage, rejection - but all he saw was quiet contemplation. And then he hummed thoughtfully -

"No," Zero snapped, leaping to his feet. He couldn't accept this - this blind acceptance! He turned to Kaname, "No. You can't mean you want us to just _wait _here, sitting on our hands while your friends - _our _friends - are out there fighting?!"

"Zero-" Kaname tried.

"No. Listen to me, very carefully Kaname," he said, deadly quiet all of a sudden. It certainly made Kaname sit up a little more, "I will not stay in this fucking safe-house, or whatever the fuck this is, letting people _we care about _get killed **needlessly **when I could be _doing _something to stop it. The fight is with _us._ I _have_ the Weapon now - we can end this!"

"Zero-"

"I agree with Kaname, Zero," Ichiru cut in smoothly, "This is a waiting game, as I'm sure you are aware,"

"I am _well_ aware," Zero sniped, "But unlike you two, I'm not willing to let us be played by it. What will happen when we come to the end and find ourselves in the very same situation as Kaname all those years ago?" he caught Kaname's wince, but had to get his point across. The recognition in Ichiru's possessor's eyes told him that whoever they were - they _knew _what he was talking about. That certainly narrowed the list down to a few people. "Rido uses time and exhaustion to bring you down to your knees, till you're so blinded by your desperation that the options he gives you are the only options you can see and you bring your own demise. Are you saying we should wait till we are at this point - _playing right into his hands_? Why in god's name would you?" this last part he aimed at Kaname, meaning for it to hurt. Kaname's lips tightened, but he otherwise remained resolute.

"You misunderstand. This isn't surrender, it's strategy," he objected quietly.

"No, I'm sorry. It's _bullshit_. It's doing the same thing as last time with probably the same result. It's being _afraid_ of taking a risk," Zero declared, this time he saw a flicker of something cross Kaname's face, "We can't keep living in the past anymore, Kaname. If we do, nothing will change and this will _never_ end_,"_

The next thing he was about to say would be the worst case of manipulation he could do - emotional blackmail.

"I don't want to _die_, Kaname," he whispered, unable to bring himself to speak louder than that. The tremor in his voice must have been perceived as actual fear, for in the next moment he was taken into Kaname's arms and drawn into such a tight hold his breath whooshed out of his lungs. Over Kaname's shoulder he could just see the glimmer of Ichiru's white hair in the dark.

Translucent white… like a ghost.

"Oh Zero, I won't - I promise-" the tightness in his chest was even more painful as he heard Kaname babble anything and everything he could, trying to calm his lover in whatever way he could. Kaname tried _so hard _all the time to help people. All he wanted to do was keep them safe, but they were just as involved in this war just the same as anybody else. "- I just want you safe. Please, can we - I can't lose you again. I _can't_-" the crack in his voice threatened to break Zero's resolve "- be without you again. Please don't make me do this, Zero - please don't leave me. Promise we'll stay together,"

_Damn it Kaname_ - this wasn't going the way he'd planned. The thing was - Kaname was obviously speaking in a way that said he _knew _he couldn't stop Zero from doing what he liked, but he _wanted _him to - god, he _wanted _him to listen to him, just this time. And with these words of love, he effortlessly bound Zero to his will.

"When the time is right, you _will_ kill him with the Weapon. You will save the world, Zero. Just stay with me for now. Just for a little bit longer," and now he was _bargaining _with him.

Zero broke down.

He couldn't - he sank into Kaname's arms, trembling like a huge weight had been lifted off him. It was taking all his resolve to resist Kaname - he _wanted _to give in, he wanted to turn his back on the world and just have Kaname and him together and safe_. _This was the downside to having a choice - having to choose, to do the right thing or take the easier path - the path you wanted to take.

"But - how can you stand it? Knowing your friends are out there, Kaname-"

"Because you are more important,"

He heaved in a breath, shakily holding onto it as long as he could. This was crazy. They were choosing _themselves_ over thousands of people, just so they could have more time. It was selfish - it was -

- so _wrong_. But he had never wanted anything more than this.

"I love my friends. I love my kingdom. But I could lose them both and mourn for thousands of years, but if I had you, I could carry on. Without you I would die, Zero. Once enough changed me. Don't make me do it again,"

He knew by then that there was no way he could refuse Kaname.

(At least…not right _now_ -)

"Fine," he muttered through gritted teeth. He felt Kaname sag against him in relief, which made things a little better. Only as he leant his head against Kaname's and carded fingers through his hair soothingly did he remember they weren't the only occupants of the room. Ichiru was staring at them - at _him_ - with such a strange look in his eyes. Sad, but also… unmistakeably _aware._

It put Zero on edge.

Almost as if he already knew what Zero was planning to do.

* * *

><p>"Wait,"<p>

Zero repeated the same word for the eleventh time in the same number of minutes. It was what Kaname had whispered with a kiss to the forehead before leaving. Fifty-six times in the past two hours. Each time with a different variation of derision or disgust. Kaname had left the tower to get supplies, leaving fake-Ichiru and him in a frustratingly terse silence. They'd been given the small flame which gave off plenty of heat and a rosy light. Zero's thoughts kept flying back to the afternoon rest, where the similarly rosy light had made Kaname glow with unearthly beauty. Ichiru was shrouded in darkness with only the outlines of his body visible.

"So," it was the first word he'd said aloud, other than '_wait'._

"He's just getting some supplies, Zero," Ichiru repeated for the nth time, "And no, you can't go outside to take a leak. Pee in the corner. There's no need to be shy. We are the same, you and I,"

"Fuck, Ichiru," Zero snorted, eyeing the corner Ichiru was pointing at, "A man's gotta have some privacy,"

"Nothing I haven't seen before,"

"You look?"

"I have to," Ichiru gestured to himself. Zero snorted. He bounced on his toes, itching to do _something._

"I need some air," he tried.

"Okay then,"

Surprised by how easy that had been, Zero made for the door -

Only to be blocked by Ichiru.

"I'll come with you,"

"I need some _space_,"

Ichiru eyed him for a few tense seconds. Then he shook his head with a small smirk, "Don't think I don't know what you're planning, Zero,"

"Don't think you can stop me… whoever you are,"

"I can," and Zero was then reminded of how easily he'd been overpowered by Ichiru before - how strong this person possessing him was making his body.

Crap.

Zero chucked the dagger at the far wall, watching it splinter the wood with a satisfied grimace. He then plucked it out of the wall and shook it in Ichiru's face, "We have this - _this -_ what we were looking for _all this time_. And now that we have it, we're too afraid to use it. Ichiru _please_ - tell me you can see how stupid this idea is! We're sitting here - like mice in a hole, waiting for the cat to let us pass. We will never get out of this hole - either we get out and die, or we die in here. We have to _do_ something,"

Ichiru rubbed his face wearily.

"Sit down. He will be back soon,"

It was like a tape being played back over and over - the same thing said again and again. There was a little flicker of something though, in Ichiru's eyes.

The thing was - while Ichiru kept hushing Zero's rebellious tirades, he wasn't really saying anything against them either. In fact, it was almost like he was letting Zero get worked up each time, just so he could see him rant - like he was testing him. He was _implying _he could do what he wanted, but posing different problems for him to overcome - such as whether he was willing to go against Ichiru to get out of the tower itself - willing to fight someone he knew was physically stronger than him. It was a matter of reading between the lines - he'd replied to Zero that he _could _stop him. He never said he _would. _And if he'd been so inclined to stop him he would have been standing close to the door all the time and watching Zero like a hawk instead of staring into the small fire.

"I just - I don't get why Kaname brought us here. I don't get it, why are we - why is it - it's not what I…"

"Not what you expected," Ichiru finished, smiling in a way that oddly put Zero a little more at ease. "That this war would involve so much waiting and so little fighting on our parts,"

Zero nodded.

"Sometimes, waiting is not just waiting. If you try hard enough," he smirked at Zero, "It can even be called '_thinking'_,"

"Hilarious," he scoffed. "But this _is _waiting for the sake of waiting, isn't it? Kaname doesn't really have a plan, does he? Rido knows we're here… Sara eventually she will, won't she? If she's tracking me by scent?"

"We have time,"

Zero scoffed, "Not frigging _enough_…"

"It never matters how much time you have, Zero. It's what you decide to do with the time you have that counts,"

Zero screwed up his face at this, even though he understood what he meant. "Who made you a damn fortune cookie?" he muttered gruffly, though he could tell he was being analysed by Ichiru's intent stare.

"I mean it - do what you have to do and never regret it. You are always responsible for your own decisions. It's your life - remember that," the way he was speaking nagged at Zero - he knew him, he _knew _the person using that body. But their identity was elusive. He could feel the connection, but still did not know why it existed.

But never mind that - what Ichiru was saying _indirectly_ was to go for it. Zero's heart leapt - all this time he'd wasted waiting for unneeded permission could've been his head-start on Hunting down Rido, but - fuck it. He'd missed his opportunity, because literally the next second, Kaname walked through the door.

Immediately the words burst out of him.

"How long are we staying here exactly?" he turned to Kaname, who thankfully didn't look at him like he was acting _too_ strangely… even though his questioning was quite abrupt, and _obvious_ to his intentions. In fact, funnily enough Kaname was staring off to the side, seemingly too lost in thought to even look at him.

"When the sounds of battle fade," even his voice was off. Floaty like he was _high _or something, "When we can hear no more," he wasn't even blinking, "…no more,"

"…o-kay. That's really poetic, but really - _when _will we know that for _sure_? You can't hear anything from here,"

"Zero," Kaname said quietly, "This war having a much larger impact on the world than we will ever be able to comprehend, but the battle itself is actually quite small. I expect it to last no more than a week,"

A week? He was already going crazy, and it had only been a few hours.

"So, we leave in two days," he insisted.

"Five,"

"Two,"

"Four,"

"_Two,_"

"I'm lowering my number here Zero - _three_,"

So the compromise was - three. Three days of waiting, hiding - Zero couldn't believe he would have to wait that long.

He also couldn't have expected what was next about to happen.

He suddenly found himself with a lapful of Kaname - unconscious, deadweight Kaname. There was barely time to blink before Ichiru was in front of him gripping his shoulder so tightly that he could hear the bones in it creak. Panic seized him - before he even thought to - Bloody Rose was pointed at Ichiru. It was an absurd move to pull on a non-Vampire, but Zero was reacting on pure instinct - and when Ichiru flinched back, he realised his instincts must be spot on. For whatever reason - maybe it was the person inside Ichiru flinching back, which meant they had to be a Vampire.

Then as Ichiru took stock of the situation he slowly _relaxed_, confusing Zero even more from the change - even when he tightened his grip on 'Rose and squeezed the trigger to almost the point of fire, Ichiru only smiled. So shocked was he that when Ichiru plucked the gun out of his hand, he could only watch his fake-brother in sheer bewilderment as he appeared to appraise the weapon for a few moments, fingers curling around it in such a familiar way that it seemed it belonged to him more than it ever had Zero. Then the moment was broken, and Ichiru handed the gun back to him. Zero took it silently, fumbling with it as he tried to figure out if he should be putting it away or not.

The movement shifted Kaname in his lap, bringing him back to the most worrying thing of all -

"I can make it so three days pass in one," Ichiru told him, abruptly scattering thoughts again. But the information passed through one ear and out of the other because Zero was too freaked out to care.

"Is this - are _you _the reason why Kaname was acting weird when he came back?" he asked. Ichiru nodded curtly. "What have you done to him?" to his relief, he could see him breathing - he was just knocked out. Zero couldn't help but try as well, "Who _are _you?"

"Not important," - knew he was pushing it. After all this time in hiding, why would Ichiru's possessor reveal themselves to him _now_? "What you need to think about_ is_ important,"

This caught his attention. He _knew_. He knew and he was willing to _help _him.

"You mean that - the thing about me leaving,"

Ichiru gave him a long-suffering sigh, "I mean - you should think about doing what you feel you _must_. Regardless of Kaname, or what anyone _expects _of you_, _or even what _you _expect of yourself - where do you feel your duty lies?"

There was no doubt about it. Zero was a _fighter. _The battlefield was calling his name.

"Now's the time to make your decision, because - contrary to what Kaname claims - his estimations _aren't_ incorrect. We have _less_ than three days to make our choices - the battle will wage fast and hard and we will have lost by the morrow or sooner if we stay here and '_wait'_,"

_Contrary to what __**Kaname claims**__… _did that mean what Zero thought?

"Are you saying… that Kaname -"

"-never planned on joining the war at any point - his plan has always been to wait it out here,"

Zero couldn't believe it. No matter how much Zero used to hate Kaname, he had never thought him a coward for one second - he would _never_ run away from a fight.

But a part of Zero could see it - the part of him that had seen how damaged Kaname was, and could see how desperate Kaname was to salvage what little he had and just… go somewhere safe to hide and leave the world to end itself because once was enough. He'd tried to save everybody once and it hadn't worked. He saw now - how Kaname had grabbed his hand and run and never looked back once. His brutal pace had slowed at the times when Zero really couldn't keep up anymore and quickened soon after - it was true - Kaname had been _running away._

"Why do you think he brought us _here _of all places?" Ichiru asked, added to his growing dismay, "Too far away from the Castle to get there to be of any real use. We're already one foot out of the door,"

"No," it made him sick, to think that Kaname had been tricking him all this time - _again. _Always, he pretended he meant one thing but did another behind his back. It made it so frightening to put any trust in him, because you never knew when you were being lied to in return. Even though those lies were made out of good intentions, they were lies nonetheless, and each one was like a punch to the gut, "Kaname wouldn't…"

"He would. He's terrified Zero. More than anything, he's afraid of losing you,"

He couldn't find any way to respond to that, other than, "He's crazy. I'm one person - _one _compared to the _billions _of people in the world. What gives him the right…"

Ichiru gave Kaname such a tender look then that Zero felt like he'd definitely said entirely the wrong thing, "Kaname has a right to make his own decisions, Zero. He's chosen you. He rarely _gets _the chance to choose, he _never _breaks the rules for anyone, but he has - for you. And Kaname has… suffered, so much in his life. He gives up so much of himself, and hardly gets anything in return. Don't think him a coward for walking away this time, Zero - how much more sacrifice can one man take? He's paid his dues,"

Looking around, Zero couldn't help but notice how the gloom of the place pretty much summed up his shitty choices, and even more importantly represented what life would be like if he chose to stay.

They'd survive the war, but then they'd have to always stay on the move - because there was no doubt that Rido would never stop hunting them_. _The world would die around them until it was just them three chasing each other for the rest of eternity…

Kaname might think they could survive with just each other and nothing else, but the fact was that that was a fantasy - life wasn't like that, and it was worthless if they couldn't really _live _it.

"I have to do it," the words were heavy on his tongue, "It's the only option really, isn't it? There isn't really a choice,"

Ichiru smiled wanly, "There never is,"

Zero nodded, "Right,"

Funnily enough, it was easier to accept _not _having a choice than having one. He could accept there was nothing else he could do, and simply follow the path laid out for him.

"So, how is this going to work then?" he tried not to look down at Kaname, though his hands somehow found their way into his hair. "Is Kaname going to sleep through all of this?" even though this rang a note of poetic justice in Zero's opinion, for all the times Kaname kept him in the dark… he couldn't help but feel guilty for suggesting it. Kaname always had his reasons, whereas he just wanted Kaname to know what ignorance felt like for once. Zero ran a finger down his face, "He'll never have to know what happened,"

"But would that be fair to him?" Ichiru pointed out, surprising Zero with his ardent tone. "I told you I can make it so three days pass in one - you will have time tonight to say goodbye. In his mind it will be the last night before battle. You can leave him with at least _one_ good memory, Zero,"

The implication wasn't lost on him.

"Make it good,"

Zero had to wince - this was advice coming out of his brother's mouth.

But then again, he had a point.

"Alright then," Ichiru released him and walked over to the door. Turning around, he lifted his hand, "Keep your clothes on as long as you can. See you in the morning, Zero," - and suddenly Kaname was awake, squinting up at him with an endearingly sloppy smile.

"What were you saying?" he slurred, jaw cracking in a wide yawn. "I didn't catch that,"

Zero felt his heart throb. Tears weren't welling in his eyes or anything like that, but he suddenly couldn't breathe. _I can't do this. _He could only stare blankly at Kaname, choking on grief as he floundered for something to say. "Um…" he looked up at the doorway, not surprised at all to find Ichiru gone. Just when he needed him, he obviously _wouldn't_ be there. "…nothing. It was nothing,"

Kaname's mouth twitched indulgently, "Go on,"

This was the point in a romance film where Zero would say "I love you" and bend down to kiss him -

"Just - nah," he flushed. "Never mind," For a few seconds Kaname continued to stare at him in concern, but then the crease in his forehead smoothed out and he reached up to caress his face.

"Love you too," and Zero seriously _couldn't breathe. _It was like all the air in the room had been sucked out. And… a shuddery sigh escaped his lips. God, this was impossible. "Now I don't believe you," he bit his lip, could Kaname tell? "It can't be nothing if you're worrying like this. What's wrong?"

Kaname sat up, twisting around so Zero flushed under his stare because this was the hardest thing he'd ever had to do. And how was he supposed to do it anyway? "It's been three days," That certainly wasn't what he'd been going for. The lie was easy enough to say, but the sudden change of emotions on Kaname's face almost changed his mind.

"…That's right,"

Zero didn't know what to do next - doing it would feel like it was just because then they could tick it off the list of things they had managed to do before _the end. _Zero was no prude, but something about that seemed to cheapen the experience to him. He didn't even know what type of lies Ichiru had filled the past "three days" with either - so, he didn't know what to expect from Kaname now.

Kaname peeled himself away from Zero's side and went to the corner. Almost immediately an ache began to set in, something deep inside him was trying to claw its way out of him towards Kaname.

"I just hope these few days weren't too tiresome for you," Kaname said to the wall. Zero bit his lip. "I know you wanted to leave sooner... truth be told, we _should've _left a lot sooner. But I just… I needed some time, you know?" a small shy glance over his shoulder revealed everything, all at once - the fear he had, the wish that tomorrow would never come. "I know we've been cooped up in here… not really doing anything, but still - these have been some of the best days of my life,"

_Kaname, don't do this to me, _he bit on his tongue, closing his eyes - he couldn't bear to look at Kaname as he said this.

Kaname scoffed, "Sad, isn't it? It's been so quiet," Kaname remarked off-hand, his footsteps going round as he paced a little, "But, this is exactly how I imagine life to be like, with just you and me," he gave Zero a slightly longer, more considered look, "Living alone, but hopefully not lonely - you will have nothing - nothing, and no one but me,"

Zero shot Kaname his most defiant glare, "I know what I signed up for. Do you?" he stepped forwards aggressively, and repeated, "Nothing, and no one but me,"

Kaname chuckled a little, but his eyes were stern, "Yes, I just worry sometimes, that this isn't what you want,"

He scoffed,"Don't be stupid,"

"I'm trying," he smiled ruefully, dropping down beside him again. Kaname grabbed his hand, "Remember what we promised?" Zero tensed, wondering what they had promised in the three days. Luckily Kaname prompted him, "Tomorrow, we'll go in together, and then we'll come back_..._"

"…together," Zero whispered, lifting their joint hands to his lips. He could see it, for that second - that they would come back home to the castle together, after the fight - bruised and battered, but _alive…_ but it was a dream. A far-off fantasy. It flew away from them, far out of sight and reach.

"Kaname,"

He looked up from their joined hands, the cloudiness of his eyes showing he was still under the spell's influence, but Zero could see that he was listening. Zero forgot what he was going to say. Every time it came to an important moment - when something had to be said - he just froze up and couldn't remember what it was.

There must have been something in his eyes though, something that Kaname could see that told him everything he needed to know - because Kaname muttered, "Come here," and opened his arms and it was exactly what he needed.

And he was _there_, and it was perfect.

"It's alright," Kaname said, hands slow in soothing caresses - and Zero realised he was _trembling_, all over. He knew he was nervous - so, _so _nervous for what they were going to do - but not so nervous that he would shake like _this. _How mortifying. "It's fine, Zero," Kaname soothed, trying to rub his goosebumps away, but it wasn't working. The place was devoid of romance, of any softness or comfort of any kind, but it didn't matter. The heads of old rusted pins digging into his back didn't matter, nor did the grime slicking the back of his neck. It was just Kaname above him, and yet he somehow managed to block out the cold with his body, and the smell with his deep scent. He made all the little discomforts fade to the back of his mind, and perhaps it love that made that possible, not fickle romance.

* * *

><p>Scratch that. It was not love. It <em>could<em> not be love at all.

It was not like the movies, where them undressing was so well-rehearsed you could put it to music and make a porno from it. It was not like when the rhythm of the two lovers' bodies together was like a dance going faster and faster. Zero was still struggling with his shoes _minutes_ after the embarrassing debacle of his pants. (Shoes off first, _then _pants.) Kaname was watching him with a small, quizzical grin on his face, as if he couldn't quite understand if Zero was really struggling or if he was teasing him. He'd offered to help (multiple times, actually) but Zero blatantly refused.

Even though Kaname was smiling, Zero could tell he was getting a little impatient too. These knots were really fucking _tight. _Finally he huffed and stuck out a foot resentfully (it was not a kick) and started unknotting the other one with more care, and then distinctly felt - and _heard - _Kaname rip his shoe in _half. _

God. Fucking. _Damn it -_

"_Kaname_," he growled, glaring at the wreckage of his shoe. Kaname ignored him in favour of grabbing the other shoe and ripping it off too. Then he was crawling over him again, and Zero had no choice to lean back or get head-butted. There was intent in that prowl - the intent to rip every article of clothing off him, it seemed - because Kaname tore his coat off Zero's semi-naked body and started to go for his pants next. Zero wondered if this was another way Kaname hoped to keep him from the battlefield - if he was left without any clothes to wear, he'd have to either stay in the shack or boldly go into battle showing his junk. Classy.

"Kaname," he could feel the tremors growing again as Kaname popped the second button and the sound of the zip being undone - and _fuck, _it hadn't hit him exactly where Kaname's hands _were _to be undoing his pants. The shaking came and went with Zero's mood erratically changing from enthused to terrified of the whole process. Right now he was horrified of how naked he was compared to Kaname - and so far, all he'd said was Kaname's name, so perhaps some instruction was needed. He yanked Kaname's sleeve, "Off," he demanded. And that was apparently all that was needed, because Kaname's huffing laughter tickled his damp skin making him wince at the chill it brought, but he diligently relinquished Zero's pants and began to undo his own shirt. Zero unconsciously relaxed as he was left with his pants intact for the meantime, but that was short-lived as soon as he looked up and -

Dear god. Kaname was taking off his _shirt_.

He'd seen Kaname shirtless before, but this was completely… _completely _different.

This was Kaname peeling a wet shirt off his body, inch by inch, revealing it to the flame - which was growing to be more like a miniature Sun by this point (possibly a reflection of Kaname's arousal rising). And as Kaname bent over to drop the shirt near the fire, the flames licked at his body - casting the curves of his powerful muscles into startling contrast. _He could see Kaname's chest, _and he suddenly couldn't breathe because it was _that _beautiful.

Zero's eyes followed two fat droplets of water down the jut of his right shoulder blade, rolling under his arm as he turned and then pausing in the crook of his elbow before Kaname shook water everywhere like a dog, splattering water on both Zero and the flame - both of whom (which) hissed at him for it. Kaname made to undo his own pants, but then he paused in consideration, and his hand turned instead to Zero in a beckoning gesture. After a beat, Zero crawled over and yet he stopped some distance from Kaname, uncertain of what he wanted. This was… new territory. He didn't like not knowing what was coming next.

As he assessed their partial nudity, he noted the lack of passion despite it. Well - _he _was unaffected, mostly. Perhaps it was his nerves keeping him from really enjoying any of it. He just felt cold. And slightly nauseous. Was this really going to happen? If it was, would it all be as awkward as this? He sighed.

"This is awkward, Kaname," he finally admitted, leaning back on his ankles and folding his arms. He couldn't understand it - how were you meant to do this? Why was it that he couldn't get hard the one time he needed to? His eyes fell down to his groin accusingly, then inadvertently travelled along the length Kaname's body with as much burning zeal as he could summon. He could appreciate the exposed portions of Kaname's body - his strong chiselled chest and arms - but if anything, he felt his nerves treble from that one assessment - and then he got it. Kaname was _perfect _in every way. How could _he _compete with that?

All lanky arms and skinny legs - after the blood disease, he was all but skin and bones. He'd never been so aware of his body. Any inkling of desire was flushed out of him by the shame. He couldn't do it. Not like this.

"Do you want to stop?" Kaname's voice sounded very close. When Zero opened his eyes, he saw Kaname's gorgeous chest _right there _in front of his face, shining wet and so… he couldn't describe how much he wanted to touch and taste. But his self-disgust was holding him back. He knew what Kaname was really trying to ask: _Do you not want me anymore? _

How could he _not?_

Zero groaned, "I don't think I _can _do this," he was shrinking away now, subtly edging towards the discarded clothes. Much as he hated the feel of them on his skin, they would at least cover his hideous body from view. Zero wasn't vain, but if even he couldn't stand the sight of himself, how could he expect Kaname to like it?

Kaname frowned. "What's wrong, Zero?" he shifted forwards, matching Zero's movements. "Why can't you…" and then his gaze drifted to Zero's arm reaching for his coat, and he _thought _he got it. A shocked laugh escaped his lips - Zero knew it wasn't malicious but teasing, and yet it hurt - the brief moment he thought Kaname was laughing at him. "Are you shy? You don't need to be," and he reached for the coat - but Zero refused to let go of it. While Kaname looked truly amused by what he thought was Zero being playful, Zero was actually _panicking_ because he really didn't want to do this anymore. (Except at the same time he did. He was _confused.) _He hated his body. He hated himself.

Finally Kaname got tired of their little game, "Zero, let go,"

"No," he spat, giving a particularly hard yank on the shirt that only managed to pop three buttons off, "Fuck it. Kaname, give me my shirt!"

"Why?"

"Just do it!" This wasn't how it was supposed to go. He wasn't meant to feel as humiliated he was. This was the worst way he could've ever possibly imagined their first time to be.

"Zero - Zero, calm down," Kaname insisted, realising something was wrong, "Come on, shh…" Zero gulped down huge breaths, his chin lowered so he was staring at a cracked floorboard, not Kaname, and his breath turned shaky.

"I'm sorry," he muttered, trying to regain control of his breathing, but it was turning wheezy, like he was about to cry. Was he going to cry? It wouldn't surprise him if he did at this point.

"Tell me what's wrong, Zero, so I can help…" Kaname somehow wrangled the shirt from his limp grip and dropped it in favour of Zero's hand. "Hey," he murmured, rolling Zero's knuckles absently with his thumb, "Look at me," he urged softly, taking Zero's other hand and using it to guide them together.

Zero shook in Kaname's arms, and it didn't matter that there was bare skin-to-skin contact anymore. The thrill of it was lost on him. He could only take comfort from Kaname's affection, and try to let it wash away his embarrassment.

"What's the matter, Zero?" he heard Kaname ask again, and cursed the man's relentlessness.

"Let it go, Kaname," he pleaded, "There's nothing you can do,"

Kaname squeezed him closer, "I thought _you_ were the one who wanted this - and I quite welcomed it - but then you want to back out? Tell me what you want, Zero, or at least tell me why you don't want it anymore,"

"I…" Zero buried his face so his voice was muffled. Even then, he knew Kaname would be able to hear what he said clearly. "…look at yourself. And… look at me," it sounded so stupid when he said it like that, he didn't want to think what Kaname thought of him. "Why do you think I can't-"

And then Kaname was kissing him, as though he couldn't bear to hear another word. His arms tightened around him so they were completely wrapped around each other, and he rocked them from side to side. It was so ridiculously what he needed that Zero clung onto Kaname like a lifeline and tried to pretend he was the same as before - healthier, stronger and hopefully more worthy. He imagined it was _that _body that Kaname was holding, and that when Kaname's hands skimmed fleetingly over his hips shoulders and spine they were _admiring _him, not fumbling for somewhere he could hold that wasn't _bone._

"Does this feel okay?" Kaname asked, and Zero nodded. He couldn't pretend that he wasn't disappointed with how this was turning out, but still this was nice. Kaname was a solid warmth that smelt wonderful against the smell of mould and rain, and he felt really _good _against him. Zero tried to banish the negatives and focus on appreciating how Kaname's chest pressed against him with each steady breath, yet he could feel his heart stuttering just beneath - it was always a pretence. Kaname was just as nervous as him. His skittish fingers left hot trails over Zero's exposed back, and he shivered, this time not due to the cold.

"Kaname," he murmured - just to say his name. There was a hum of contentment, and Kaname's chin was dropped atop his head so he could feel the hum vibrate in his throat pressed against his lips. Yes, this was _okay. _

Maybe a little _too _okay in fact.

He didn't know how Kaname was doing it, but he was making him forget about how pitiful he looked in light of mapping Kaname's body out with his hands - they moved out of their own volition, gripping Kaname's hips tightly one second and then smoothing over the rippling muscles in his back. Zero swallowed. The muscles kept moving as Kaname also explored _him_, and the hug was becoming more of an exploratory fondling than anything else.

"Kaname," he repeated, this time in a little alarm as Kaname began to add his mouth to it, licking a wet trail around his ear_. _Zero tilted his head back, gasping for air as Kaname began to taste every inch of skin from his ear to his chest… to his stomach, and further down…

The further down he went, the more he leant back - naturally arching his back so he could balance his weight on his arms. Kaname seemed to be particularly fixated by the almost lethally sharp jut of Zero's hipbones, and his thumbs were urgently rubbing circles into them that would eventually turn into bruises as he lifted him higher - higher so everything tilted for a second -

And then he was flat on his back and Kaname was bearing down on his stomach, venturing back up to his chest for a while, but returning to his ribs. Zero couldn't speak - couldn't imagine how people could _speak _whilst doing this - how they could urge their partners on _'faster, harder, more' _when he had to concentrate so much on just _breathing. _He was panting up a storm, mouth hanging open in what he bet was a rather unattractive fashion, and it was _air _that he was lacking more than anything else. There was nothing Kaname could or should be doing _more_ to him, at the moment.

In fact, any more might just make him explode.

A small shift brought Kaname's similarly aroused state to attention - against his thigh he could feel it, hot and heavy. For some reason this spurred Zero on, rather than scaring him away, even though he'd worried that feeling a man's arousal would scare him off the act - it was _electrifying _to know how Kaname wanted him. His hand slid down Kaname's stomach, fingernails scraping on his skin which caused a trail of goosebumps to follow, and then he wrapped his hand over it -

And Kaname _groaned. _He let go of Zero's hips in favour of pinning his shoulders to the floor and bucking into his hand almost _viciously _into him andZero didn't know what to _do. _He hooked his arms over Kaname's shoulders and pulled him down to meet him - and the contact was _sublime. _Zero grunted in surprise as the sweat on Kaname's body - on both their bodies - was making it difficult for him to hold on, and he kept slipping -

But then Kaname lowered them to the ground and they were touching _all _over without needing to hold on anymore, and with the pressure of Kaname's weight pressing them together and then Kaname's weight sliding down… Zero lifted his head, but aside from seeing the mess Kaname's hair had become there wasn't much to see. It brought everything down to touch to know what was going on - and it was his mouth again, hungrily biting, licking and sucking an invisible trail down Zero's abdomen.

Kaname looked up then, catching Zero's eyes - he was a little taken aback to see them red - but he wasn't afraid of them. They were hungry - yes, but not just for blood - and even when Kaname grinned at him toothily, revealing his extended fangs - he still wasn't scared. In fact, he felt his excitement spike. Then the cold tiny prick of one fang teasingly dipping into the flesh above his belly button made him gasp. Crap, he had never been so turned on in his life. Kaname carefully traced a line downwards with that fang - the insignificant pain was _delicious _mixed with his hot tongue.

Zero looked down at his body - that one long mark leading down from his rips to where his stomach curved in and down - and made an indistinguishable noise, causing Kaname to lick the line of red and him to collapse backwards again in surrender. And then it stopped.

Zero blinked lethargically, looking up and finding Kaname above him clearly mouthing something.

It really said something when you were so _gone _that you couldn't even hear what someone was saying. Zero asked for a repeat twice before Kaname simply _lifted _him, and he heard a ripping noise, and then his legs were _cold. _

"…ke it slow. We have all the time in the world, okay? No need to rush…"

He didn't hear what he was saying, but appreciated the pleasant sound of Kaname's voice ragged and rough. And then his eyes slid down to Kaname's hands - such elegant hands - and back to his lips - the jumbled mess that Kaname had made him into making him wonder absently why the top of Kaname's head was all he could see again. It went down his body again, he felt his tongue questing for something - and then it vanished from sight.

"Kaname!" he cried out of alarm - Kaname was in a _very _inappropriate place, and Zero could never have imagined what this would feel like. Not a beat later and he was crying it out again in a spittle of curses, understanding where Kaname _was_ now - it made him flush with heat, his head jerk from side to side in disbelief - his whole body thrash in a mix of morbid embarrassment and desire.

"_Fuck,_" he hissed through gritted teeth, his jaw aching from clenching it - the pleasure was too intense, he could barely function. Kaname's lips tightened, his throat contracting as he swallowed around him - and then he sucked so hard Zero thought he was going to die. The noises coming out of his mouth sounded like he was dying - garbled pleas and mangled profanity. He was no longer in control of himself - jerking and bucking and kicking and scratching at Kaname's shoulders. He didn't know if he wanted to stop or keep going, because it was all too much yet not enough -

"Stop," he finally managed to say, his voice rough and breathless, and he could not deny the fear that Kaname would not listen, "Stop, too much,"

But Kaname did - he pulled off with a shameless slurp that made Zero want to _apologise_, of all things, and then he looked up at Zero patiently waiting for his next call of action.

Zero let his breath settle before dragging him down into a fierce kiss. They're already tumbling into this faster into this than they could stop it, so he decided they might as well roll with it - the kiss was all teeth and tongue, and there were smatterings of blood he could taste from where Kaname nicked his lips or when his fangs caught on Kaname's tongue. Hands were _everywhere. _All at lost count, somewhere between his body and Kaname's he had three hands or four feet. Being so intertwined with each other, he swore he could feel two hearts beating in his own chest.

And then he was flipped onto his stomach.

His face almost met the damp mouldy floor, but when Kaname's hands begin to knead his muscles Zero wouldn't have cared if it did - because his hands were _magic_, finding parts of him that he'd never thought he could feel such pleasure from. He could feel his joints loosening and muscles softening into the floor as Kaname took to pieces.

"Crap," he whispered, moaning when Kaname's hands move down to his thighs. "Can you…" he never noticed it when his pants were removed, but the skin contact was startling, and even if he didn't know what he wanted he still asked for it anyway. Kaname's hand slid up, and then he was touching an area Zero wanted to tell him _not _to.

But he couldn't bring himself to. It felt strange, not _good _but not bad either, and he knew they were heading, which made a little bit of that previous fear return, but mostly it was anticipation that had him freezing up.

Because this _could _feel good. He could sense the potential, and he was quite curious to how would it feel? Zero found that his curiosity won over his fear, and he tilted his head back to peer at Kaname from that angle.

Kaname was sucking on his fingers, a look of intense concentration on his face making Zero want to kiss him out of sheer endearment, and then he realised he was staring at his ass, and the endearment turned to embarrassment. "Hey!" Kaname pulled is hands away and, to his horror, kissed him at the base of his spine, nuzzling the skin right above _there. _It made him squirm in discomfort. Because it still felt _nice, _which baffled him. "Hey…"

"Hush," Kaname murmured, and then he was pulling apart -

"Kaname!" he squawked, clenching in horror. But to his utter surprise, Kaname moaned, _moaned - _and he yanked his hips up so he was on all fours. So surprised was he that his arms buckled under his weight, and he fell forwards, so naturally - his hips swung backwards. But -

Zero couldn't help but gasp as Kaname's fingertip breached him without warning. It burned - it _stung. _It felt raw in a way he hadn't ever felt before… and yet, after the initial burn, he could _feel _Kaname. _Inside _him.

And for some reason he could not fathom, that alonegot him harder than he thought was possible.

And then Kaname was pushing _more_ in, and the burn continued, all the way till his finger was completely inside. Zero shifted a little, hoping it would relieve some of the pressure, but for all his movement he only managed to make it throb a little.

"Hold still," Kaname instructed him, and he tried to - he did. But how could he control his body when it was being invaded in such a way? Zero clenched around him accidentally, "_Relax_," he repeated tightly, so he did. Kaname's other hand was holding him up, the thumb rubbing what he guessed was meant to be a soothing circle on his side, but actually tickled him.

"I don't think I can do this,"

He didn't mean to blurt that out, but under the pressure of such avid scrutiny and a finger up his ass, Zero was feeling quite out of depths (no pun intended) with himself. He could practically feel Kaname's incredulous stare at the back of his head and it made him cringe.

"You what?"

The bluntness of his tone shocked Zero into laughter. Nervous laughter. He cleared his throat.

"Do you not want to… I mean, we've come _this_ far. I just thought…" Kaname trailed off, and Zero felt awful. He should have just kept quiet and manned up - the pain wouldn't last anyway… would it? Sex was meant to feel good. At least, he'd heard it was meant to get better.

Just as he felt Kaname start to pull away he grabbed his wrist. "Wait," He didn't know why, but the thought of giving up, especially when they'd '_come this far' _didn't sit well with him. He was still curious, too. The pain was settling again into an ache he could stand, and he knew - he _knew _it was bound to get better real fast then. "Keep going,"

Zero felt Kaname hesitate, no doubt thrown by his rapidly changing decisions.

"Go on," he urged, pushing back on the finger.

And then - bliss.

He didn't actually know what type of sound he made, but it must have been loud, because his mouth was ajar and his throat was still vibrating from it. Zero blinked a few times, uncertain of what had just happened. His skin felt alive - _buzzing, _like he'd been struck by lightning. It was fizzling out, but he wondered if he just - _shifted _a bit - "Ah!" escaped him again, and he could vaguely hear Kaname panting behind him above the sound of his blood roaring.

"Good?"

He thrust his hips back in answer.

Things happened very quickly after that, and even though they were meant to savour every moment, they were rushing. They couldn'tslow down, not when the pleasure was mounting to such incredible heights, and they _needed _to get there_. _It was frustratingly close. Zero could feel a second finger added to the first, and then a third too - the burn he was gradually getting used to - and then there was _stretching. _And pulling and was literally being pulled apart, and every so often when Kaname accidentally stretched too wide and he inadvertently clenched, Kaname paused to remind him to "_Relax,"_ as if he didn't know, and he scowled to himself.

And then Kaname stopped stretching, stopped moving - except for the last pull out, where Kaname left him. Zero flustered.

"What-" but he didn't get that far, because he was flipped over again onto his back, and was staring up at Kaname wide-eyed and this was it. They were going to do this.

Kaname had the same concentrated look on his face, but behind that - Zero could see he was equally nervous. It hit him that this was Kaname's first time too - with him at least - and he'd waited… _thousands _of years for this, in a sense. No wonder he'd been pissed when Zero almost bailed. He shifted his legs to rest over Kaname's thighs. It was only then when he did so that he realised Kaname was naked too. He couldn't help but look.

His legs slid down Kaname's thighs slowly as he reassessed the nearest escape route, because that thing was _huge_.

"Zero,"

He automatically turned his head - only to meet Kaname's kiss. The distraction proved successful as Kaname managed to wind his legs up around his waist, dragging Zero's ass onto his lap.

He broke away, blushing horrifically - "I-"

"You need to relax," Kaname reminded him, sliding them down into a horizontal position again. Zero's mouth opened but he couldn't find anything to say, he was just so… _so_ open, and it was terrifying. No one had ever seen him like this before. He could see the rapture on Kaname's face, which comforted him to know he was having such an effect on him. But the pressure of knowing he had to please Kaname was dampening his mood and making enjoying it all very difficult again.

Because there was no going back from this. This could be their only chance - their only time together before everything falls apart, and so - he couldn't screw up. This had to be good.

And it showed on him, how his nervousness was beginning to affect his body.

Kaname leant down, capturing his lips once more.

It was his hands though, that distracted him again - he was stroking him tenderly, and it made Zero's nerves unclench and dissipate. Why did he overcomplicate things? They were already enjoying it - there was no need to worry. He was trembling again, but from what, he couldn't say.

"This is going to hurt," Kaname warned him.

"Oh, really?" he huffed, trying to make light of the fact that he was shaking so damn hard he could feel Kaname's hands tighten on him just to hold him still. "Damn it," he grit through his teeth, cursing his traitorous body. Things were going rapidly downhill again, despite all his efforts to get a cap on his nerves and hold it together - and Kaname could tell he was struggling. He was doing everything in his capacity to make it easier for Zero, but nothing was working.

And then Kaname yanked his legs up, and before Zero could as what he was doing he moved him so his legs were crossed together at the ankles and raised above him. Zero grunted as the motion put pressure on his back, but then something - _something _was pressed between his thighs, and his legs flexed instinctively. Kaname groaned, throwing his head back, and Zero stared up at him in awe. Now he knew what he was doing, he squeezed his thighs closer together as tightly as he could, but then Kaname stopped him… and then he began to move.

The heat was the first thing that hit Zero - it came out of nowhere, flooding his lower body and radiating upwards. There was so much of it that came from the friction between their skin, and it was almost painful - a static, prickling heat that should have stung - but only felt better with time. They were slick with sweat, dripping in it - Zero arched his back as Kaname slid between him, and heard him stifle a groan against his shoulder - but he as faraway, thinking. Wondering what it would feel like to have more of Kaname, and he was unknowingly straining back, trying to _feel _more - He couldn't voice what he wanted, so it was by sheer luck that Kaname looked up at him then, and saw what he needed without having to ask.

Kaname doesn't warn him about the pain this time, probably sensing it was what put Zero off, and Zero only just began to rethink his decision when he _feels_ it. Tension floods his body, and it's at war with his mind, which is amazingly enough - calm. He knew what the pain was like, he knew how to fight it. Kaname went still above him, his eyes on Zero's face, and Zero turned his head away slightly, the intimacy of the moment overwhelming as he felt so breached and stretched open, legs splayed widely around Kaname's hips.

The smallest of movements - a tiny twitch - touches something inside him that makes him coil around Kaname like a snake and drag him further in. His legs wrap firmly around his hips, and when he meets Kaname's gaze, Kaname waggles his eyebrows playfully.

And a whoosh of breath went out of him, a breathy laugh - because they were taking this - no, _he _was taking this way too seriously. Kaname was all for enjoying their time together - not worrying about things that don't even matter in the grand scheme of things.

Because it was them. It was only them. He had no need to worry.

The levity helped Zero to relax better than anything else - who would've thought that laughter would solve their problem? His shaking had ceased, and when he nodded at Kaname, they began to move together. He slid his hands along Kaname's back and pressed his face into his shoulder, gasping against his skin. Kaname's hands went under his shoulders, gripping him firmly as he began to move against him with more force. The burn was gone now, replaced with a full pressure that rose throughout Zero's body. Kaname was deep within him now, his body pressing him into the hard floor, and - Zero felt almost as if he was melting into the ground. His hands clutched at Kaname's arms as Kaname's lips moved against his ear, uttering low words that he could not focus on, but the sound of them grounded him and finally he was able to _move. _

His arms wound tighter around Kaname's shoulders as his hips began to meet Kaname's in a matching forceful rhythm. Kaname groaned, and then found Zero's mouth with a kiss that was bruising, but Zero just moaned into it, and then louder when he felt Kaname's hand slide between them to grip him. He stroked him quickly, his hand almost too tight, but Zero didn't mind. In fact, there was only one thing he could think of that would top off this whole experience.

He grabbed the back of Kaname's head and wrenched him away from the kiss, little droplets of blood hitting his tongue as they caught on each others' fangs, and the taste made Kaname let out a guttural moan. It was this that pushed Zero that little bit further, so he grabbed Kaname's head and drew his face to his neck - Kaname Bit down, and everything stopped. Kaname's hips stopped moving, his whole body tensed like Zero's had before, and he could even feel him softening inside of him - which shocked Zero. He thought this was what Kaname wanted. The fact that he was scrambling to get away from him had Zero's fears returning.

Kaname was staring at him like he'd lost his mind. Blood painted his lips a startling red, especially with his face white in disbelief. Zero reached up to touch his Bite mark, probing the rawness of it with interest. He didn't feel any different - even though the Bond was supposed to be completed. He frowned.

"Nothing's changed," he remarked dejectedly, disappointed by it. Kaname was still gaping at him, a dribble of blood hanging from his lips.

"What did you… just do?" he mumbled, confusing and worrying Zero with how he was reacting.

"I thought… did you not want to…?"

"We aren't Bonded," Kaname interrupted, "Not without my intent. You cannot Bond accidentally, Zero,"

What did that mean? When Zero Bit Kaname the first time, _Bonding_ couldn't have been his intention. He hated Kaname back then…

(But Isamu.)

Zero's eyes widened. That was the proof then - that tiny detail. It must have been Isamu inside of him who Bonded them together, it could have happened no other way. Did this mean though… that Kaname didn't want to complete it?

"Zero," Kaname whispered, bending down to cloak him with his body once more. His eyes were lowered modestly, and he held him close, "Leave that till after. I want to feel Human when we do this. I want to know how it feels to experience life through seconds, not _years_, for once,"

Of course, he'd forgotten - when Kaname Bonded with him completely, they would _both _take up Kaname's lifetime - the prolonged existence of the immortal Purebloods. It would make the seconds disappear, and Kaname would be bound to an eternal life once more. So would Zero, but he wouldn't dare think of that right now.

He kissed Zero's forehead, and then they began again. It didn't take long this time for things to build up, till Zero was literally gnawing on Kaname's shoulder, trying to hold in _something. _Something that was rearing its head with terrifying speed. He could practically hear Kaname's teeth clicking together with each laboured breath - and then, there was one last hard thrust, and he held himself deep inside Zero, trembling as Zero locked his legs around him tightly, wanting to keep him there as long as possible. Zero was still throbbing, still not yet spent, but even when he tried to pick it up for himself and go off the edge - he knew he couldn't do it. It was all the stress of the day holding him back - he was still a mess of nerves, and even after Kaname had blown his mind, he couldn't let go. Not when he was so afraid he'd never be able to put himself back together again.

"…Zero…" Kaname's voice was a raspy whisper, but reverent like a prayer. Zero couldn't stop grinning. Kaname's face came into view again, a similarly goofy grin spread from ear to ear. His eyes trailed possessively over Zero's form, and he could only stare up in wonder - unabashed by his love for this man, for once letting it all show on his face - Kaname's smile dropped in disappointment. "Zero," he reached down to aide him, but Zero batted his hands away.

"It's alright, Kaname," he insisted, and when Kaname reached for him again, "Seriously. It won't happen. Just quit it," he retorted, and leant up to kiss him. He grimaced as Kaname left his body, but the burning sting was swept away under the intensity of Kaname's Bite. It was gentle yet intense - if that made any inkling of sense - Zero could feel the physicality of Kaname's teeth in his neck, which still echoed a marginal kind of fear. But overall it was the gradual merging of their souls that soothed everything, the hypnotising interweaving of their minds that drew Zero's attention. It wasn't like he was suddenly sharing his mind with Kaname, or that he could "sense his presence" or any of that wishy-washy crap.

He was just _aware _of certain changes between them - that he absently felt a lot younger, yet wiser. He could hear Kaname down to the tiniest blood vessel whizzing through his veins, and smell the pungent scent of sex in the air like it was a tangible cocoon of musk surrounding them.

He could feel the days span into years ahead of them - decades and then centuries, as his life was stretched out to equal that of an immortal's. But he could still feel the pain in his rear which told him he couldn't heal like Kaname could - he was not immortal, just ageless. And then - when he turned his head to look up at Kaname again - he saw him like he used to be: the youthful colour returned to his face, his skin was glowing with power and even his eyes looked more relaxed and at peace than he'd been for a long time.

A little bit of Zero missed the vulnerability of mortal-Kaname who sweated and tired just like he did. But he'd missed the security he felt from having _Kaname _there. Knowing that he was restored to his true self comforted him. At least he wouldn't have to leave him in pieces. He was stronger now - Kaname had a better chance of getting out of this alive.

* * *

><p>They must have fallen asleep at some point, because the next thing he knew, he was staring up at a naked version of himself. It was Ichiru, of course, but the momentary shock of what he thought was an out-of-body experience held him for a moment. Then he realised Ichiru was naked. And he was naked too. <em>Still<em> naked, to be exact. And Kaname was naked.

There was a lot of naked going around, basically.

"Shit!" he quickly attempted to hide his lover's modesty, but it didn't seem to matter, because Ichiru was more focused on locating Zero's clothing off the floor. The remaining shreds of them that were scrunched up on the floor around them - Zero watched as Ichiru lifted part of his shoe and tried to fit it to the wrong part of the other shoe. It dawned on him that he had no idea what was going on.

"Help me find your clothes," Ichiru furrowed his brow at a scrap of Zero's shirt that was somehow tied into a knot. Zero watched him fix it - _fix it _- literally sticking the pieces together and watching them melt into one again. He was beyond trying to figure out what Ichiru was anymore, and resigned himself to going to find his socks. They gathered and repaired his clothes, and then Zero watched in confusion as Ichiru started to pull them on. Ichiru finished with his shirt, and then without a word pointed at a bowl of water with a cloth hanging on its rim. He got the message and went to wash himself, and then was directed to a pile of neatly folded clothes next to the fire. As he dressed in them - he realised they were Ichiru's, and then he remembered what Ichiru had said before, which had sounded almost like teasing at the time: _Keep your clothes on as long as you can._

And he understood - the scent of him, the scent of _them - _it was all over his own clothes that Ichiru was putting on now. Oh god. He knew what Ichiru was going to do now. Ichiru looked up at that moment, one eyebrow raised, as if to say: _you finally caught on? _Ichiru was going to pretend to be him, to keep Kaname under the illusion that he had stayed. Meanwhile, Zero would already be gone.

It left him feeling more guilty than ever before. He watched Ichiru also picking up Kaname's clothes, and guessing what he was going to do next, had to ask, "Can I help you with that?" Ichiru shook his head, "We've got you clean now, and even then - you're not completely free of the smell. Stay over there, I'll be done soon," so Zero had to watch Ichiru dressing an unconscious Kaname, sick to his stomach with jealousy too. Longing to abandon his mission, dying to be back in Kaname's arms. He felt cold without him. Their Bond didn't tug on his heart - what with it being completed, he knew they could be any distance apart now, and still be connected. It didn't do much to comfort him though.

"Zero," He snapped out of his thoughts, blinking at Ichiru, who was staring up at him from where he lay. With Kaname. "I can keep him here, but only for so long as to get you out of the region," he told him, "When you reach a certain distance from here, my powers will begin to recede and he will begin to wake - and after that, it won't take him long to realise that I'm not you,"

Zero nodded, standing up on shaky legs, "…I don't know where I'm going," he only realised that now.

Ichiru bit his lip. "You'll be going to meet Rido. I'll be taking you there," _How? _he wanted to ask, if Ichiru was supposed to be pretending to be him _here - _how could he be in two places at once? Before he could, Ichiru cut him off. "You won't understand till you go, and you _must _go now," Ichiru shifted Kaname's arms around him, and perhaps it was because Zero was finally secure enough in himself, but he could look at the picture that Ichiru and Kaname made, and imagine it was himself there. And that comforted him. "I will take care of him. Go. Be safe,"

Zero nodded, picking up on his tone of urgency, and with one last longing glance at Kaname, he left the tower.

* * *

><p>He understood what Ichiru meant as soon as he stepped outside.<p>

There it was - there _she _was - gleaming white, his steadfast companion. Zero approached her carefully - oh so carefully - his eyes stinging from the cold, _not _tears, he told himself. As his hand met her flank, he was horrified by how his fingers sank _through _her, and when she turned to look at him, he realised it was not her. It was not his White Lily.

His heart sank, but at the same time it rejoiced - because she was not his horse, but Lady's, but in a way that made her his too. She _was _Lady, in a sense, and that was what was meant by the fact that _she _would be taking him to Rido. He watched as she lowered herself onto the ground for him, and clambered atop this spectral horse with some wariness that he would fall straight through her. But she was solid - like any other horse - and he felt at home with her, he clutched her mane and breathed through his nose to get that deeper-than-a-scent scent he could almost taste. It grounded him for the long journey ahead, the end he had to face alone. He knew he could do it, as long as she took him there, as long as she believed in him, he would do whatever she asked.

…_She sacrificed herself, Isamu. She gave you her strength…_

"Lady," he sobbed, bowing his forehead to rest against her mane. It was her. It had always been her - she spoke to him through Ichiru, she watched over him in the forest - she was with him every step of the way. "Please…"

_Hush, my child, _he heard her say, and his tears stopped. He felt a sense of calm fall over him, and then - they were off.

She was taking him through the world at a speed faster than the light could reach him. All he could see was white, all he could feel was warm - he _was _light. He was being taken apart and held together within this ether.

As Zero rode on, leaving his whole world behind him, Lady's voice echoed in his head, praising his courage, and making him feel like he could face anything.

_You've done so well. Come to me, my love, _she whispered, _Come home to me at last, my love, my darling White Knight…_

* * *

><p>* "You can only lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" - means you can't force someone to do something if they don't wanna do it.<p>

ihaveahi5. deviantart art/happy-holidays-339030693


	99. Fated Be

**Author's Note:**

**Hola compadres. It's been a long time, and as always, I apologise for this. No excuses are worth your patience, but I just have to say - I have never been more afraid to upload something than I have with this chapter - or in fact, any of these chapters. The closer to the end we get, the more afraid I am that my writing just won't do the story justice. We've come so far! It would be a major bummer to ruin it now...**

**So this is it now - well, it's the **_**penultimate **_**chapter, but this is technically the "big one".**

**I must warn you, there is a lot of gore in this chapter (which is necessary… and I like me some gore XD ), so for those who are squeamish with blood (and I mean **_**Kill Bill **_**quantities of blood)**

**… well, I don't actually know what advice to give you, other than - keep a bucket handy, I guess? Read with only one eye open?**

**Also, for a recap (BECAUSE IT'S BEEN SOOO BLOODY LONG KARAPUUI WHAT THE FRIG IS WRONG WITH YOU OMG-)**

"**Zero has run off with Lady (LOL, not **_**that **_**way) to get a friggin move on, meanwhile - Kaname is sleeping in _the last fort _thingy after a rather '_goood _night'. ****Lady is manipulating Ichiru's body to be a decoy for Zero so Kaname won't freak out when he wakes up (keep in mind that Ichiru is still in there! How much does he know?). She's also keeping Kaname sorta out of whack, so he won't figure out that they're tricking him and come hurtling in to rescue Zero and ultimately ruin their plan -**

**As a basic summary of the previous chapter: **

**Sex? Yup, they had it XD **

**Biting? Mm-hmm, you betcha - Kaname Bit Zero (in throes of passioné) XD Bon, bon…**

_**Bonded**_** yet, or still _half-_Bonded_?_ Well… I'll leave that in the gray area for now. Between this chapter and the next one, you'll find out XD"**

**Alrighty, apologies again for being a procrastinator and wimpy individual. I fear people's opinions of me and my writing. **

…**and m****m, should I mention it? Well… **

**Another "reason" why I've taken **_**particularly **_**long to get this chapter out is because… well, I've been figuring out if there **_**could **_**be the potential for a sequel to this story. It's still a definite 'maybe' - but I've edited things to make sure that that opening is still possible**_**.**_

**On the topic of potential sequels - I've also noticed a lot of you mentioning you would like an **_**mpreg **_**sequel. Now, if you didn't know - mpreg is "male-pregnancy" - literally **_**man-babies. **_**It's a guilty pleasure of mine, and a… not-so-guilty pleasure of those of you who have requested it (LOL), but I would be willing to try writing it into the sequel - AW****, WHAT THE HECK. I should just be bold and say MPREG WILL BE IN THE SEQUEL  
>(if there is a sequel).<strong>

**Lookit that… all those non-mpreg-fans running away *sigh* well, it's not for _everyone._ To those who DO share in my love of the mpreg, I want to ask - what is it about mpreg that grabs you by the short and curlies and demands the squeeing fangasmic pleasure of your love? Because YOU KNOW ME - if I ****were to write it, it ****would be layered between plot twists and plot and seriouslyalotofplot and omgplotistakingoverthelovewh ereisthisromanceeven -  
><strong>**I'm not saying I'd be writing "he got pregnant" and leave it till the end of the story to add "oh, and then the baby popped out" with nothing in between but I'd just not put the entire focus of the story on the pregnancy, is what I'm sayin. Is that good for you? Or not?**

**THAT IS TO SAY... - I AM NOT PROMISING AN IMMEDIATE SEQUEL BY ANY MEANS. Actually, it is likely I will need to take a break from the VK-verse to plan this out a bit first (who am I kidding? hehe), so I'm probably gonna write other fandoms first before continuing this one (if I do).  
><strong>

**Ok, enough of this now - onto the story my lovelies!**

**puui x**

**PS: WARNINGS - a lot of the start of this chapter involves characters being mistaken for other characters, which means they are being called by the wrong name (e.g. Kaname thinks Ichiru is Zero so he calls him Zero), therefore YOU will have to keep track of what you know is going on and what the characters themselves think is happening. Good luck!**

* * *

><p><strong><em>I carry your heart with me- (I carry it in my heart),<em>**  
><strong><em>I am never without it - (anywhere I go you go, my dear;<em>**  
><strong><em>and whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling)<em>**

* * *

><p><em>At first he thought he was flying. <em>

_But he wasn't, a horse was bearing him so fast through the scenery that it seemed like they were flying. The landscape was a blur, and the thunder of hooves carried them across its surface. It was almost as if his body had vanished and he was part of the wind itself. When he ran his hand through the horse's silvery mane, his touch caused her to snort and head her turned slightly to look at him, the white rims of her eyes became visible, and then her ears flicked back, and -_

_She shot forwards so unexpectedly that Kaname nearly flew right off. They colours of the grass and sky washed out into the dense fog. His arms and legs clung on tightly, and he could feel something knocking against the insides of his knees - a frenetic pendulum, which he assumed had to be the horse's heart beating. It gave a good indication of how long the poor thing must have been running, or perhaps how frightened she must be. _

_For some reason, the fear didn't pass on to Kaname. Maybe it was because he knew it was a dream that he had an absurd amount of belief in his absolute safety._

_(Even as he tried to convince himself that this was the reason for his nonchalance, Kaname himself did not believe it. There was something missing which was allowing him not to feel - or rather, rid him of__ self-preservation and common sense.)_

"_Whoa there," he called, dragging a hand over the horse's neck . It whinnied pitifully - Kaname could feel the tension bunched in the muscles of its back and wondered once again what the reason was for it. "What's the matter?" he asked gently. Was it the destination that terrified her so, or were they being chased? Kaname tried to see if anyone was pursuing them, but as far as the fog revealed - they were alone._

_This was getting ridiculous - he needed to find out where they were going - what directions the horse had been given, for no matter how terrified she seemed to be, she appeared to still be determined to follow them. He pressed his face against her white mane, taking in a deep breath before delving into her mind - _

_And then a searing hot pain assaulted him -_

_And Kaname retreated, more from the shock than the pain. What the hell was __that? _

_Even the better skilled Purebloods Kaname had come across weren't able to keep him out of their minds, so the fact that a _horse _was able to keep him out was pretty shocking. This dream just kept getting stranger and stranger. He contemplated that he could feel pain but not fear - pain of the mind and the body were both felt, but fear… there was none._

_Nothing where fear should be. A hollow, empty space that made his stomach clench. _

_Without realising it, Kaname ran his fingers through the horse's mane again and clutched at the strands, seeking something to hold onto whilst he scoured his mind for answers (looking for the missing piece). His other hand also joined in the caress and he sighed thankfully at the mild distraction it allowed - _

_And then he saw it. _

_Blood on his hand. _

_A glistening red smear of it dirtied the horse's beautiful white mane but Kaname's eyes were fixed on his fingers which were __**drenched**__ in it. There was so much of it that Kaname couldn't understand how he'd managed to not notice it for the smell alone. _

_He slowly followed the trail of blood up his hand, along his drenched cuff… all the way up his arm till his eyes landed on his bloody chest. _

_The skin was completely flayed, muscle torn away and his ribcage gleaming white with dried blood flaking off it. His grey spongy lungs were somewhat visible under the sheets of muscle and the blood, but then - his bloodied hand moved of its own volition - it took hold of one side of his ribcage, the bone cracked and snapped open like a cabinet. His eyes were then drawn to the dark hole where his heart should be. Nothing else was missing - he checked, it was just his heart. And suddenly… it clicked. The colours fading, the lack of fear…_

_He could feel pain - that was a product of the mind and the body, but fear… fear comes from the heart__**.**_

_And someone had robbed him of his fear. Someone had violated his soul, ripping away the thing - some might say - housed his soul._

_The cold touch of death barely surprised him. He didn't bother to fight it off. What was the point? If he was meant to die, he would die - and as he accepted this, his hands loosened on the mane - just as it began to dissolve through his fingers, trickling away like smoke. The last thing he felt was the thrum of its pulsing heart like a drum knocking against his knees, a wisp of its sweet scent was the last thing he smelt, and then - both he and it - were gone._

* * *

><p>Kaname didn't wake up screaming or clawing at his chest, in fact he eased into wakefulness and twisted around to see Zero beside him, curled up around his ribs with one arm thrown around his middle. His breath blew through Zero's hair like a wind through a silver crop of wheat. Kaname was instantly reminded of the horse's white mane and had to blink a few times to stop himself seeing it drenched in blood. Kaname knew he would have to wake Zero very soon. He couldn't prolong their time together with good conscience, especially when Zero had already indulged Kaname his three days of 'tactical waiting' before they agreed to leave.<p>

Three days.

The three days of waiting he had to agree, were a _little_ excessive_,_ but he'd rather them be safe than sorry. It had _nothing_ to do with his own selfish desire to keep Zero to himself.

Kaname told himself this several times. Not surprisingly, repetition did not work any better than denial would.

Three days, he had… he had had Zero all to _himself_.

Kaname couldn't help but revel in the fact that his plan had worked and yet… he couldn't actually recall what they had done in that time, which somewhat dimmed his contentment. Never mind - whatever they had done, he was just glad that they'd been together.

Kaname continued to frown, but eventually accepted that the memories would come in time. Perhaps he was still distracted by the dream, and this was hindering his recollection… though he was not very convinced of this at all, he looked down at Zero in curiosity. _What did we do?_ He caressed his cheek softly…._we loved, _he answered himself. He sighed, the guilt bearing down on him with each second more he spent with Zero and away from the battlefield, also hampering his pleasant mood.

Opening his eyes, he reminded himself: Zero was worth it. He was _worth i-_

"I'm sorry,"

He whispered it to no one - to everyone who couldn't hear him, to the one person who could, but wouldn't get to, spared from it by sleep.

Apologies demanded a sense of responsibility for decisions you have come to regret, with the hope to make amends.

There was no way to amend his decision, neither could Kaname honestly regret sacrificing the many for his _one. _

Zero wasn't a 'sleeping beauty' by any means, with drool hanging from the corner of his mouth and foul breath coming from it, but in that moment that Kaname truly understood that Zero was his _one _and only. He would sacrifice an entire army - his dearest friends, and his own life - for this drooling, snoring imperfect being lying beside him - for all the fights and arguments that they would have, he would treasure them no less than he treasured the honour of being the only person to see Zero like this.

He stared at Zero, trying to memorise everything about him, from the red imprints on the side of his face to the pout his lips made when he breathed. He wanted him…he _missed _him. How strange it was that he could miss someone who was lying right there beside him, but it was true. Kaname forced himself to wake Zero - but just as he was shaking his shoulder, Kaname found something else to frown about. His hands were clutching Zero's cloth-covered shoulders - they were wearing _clothes._

Hadn't he ripped these up last night?

"Mm…"

He pushed the silly oddity aside, more entranced by a pair of half-lidded eyes and a gaping yawn, and chose the wrong moment to kiss his darling 'good morning', receiving a lick on the nose instead. Despite the sloppy greeting, Kaname grinned down at Zero and tried to kiss him properly - but this time Zero batted him away and rolled over instead. He wouldn't even allow him to stroke his face, much to his chagrin. _Typical, _he thought fondly, watching as his love sprawl onto his side, hiss at the cold ground and quickly roll back to nestle against his warmth once more.

However, if Zero was even the tiniest bit awake, he would never able to get back to sleep. They both knew this, so he waited.

Kaname listened to Zero grumble, picking out a few colourful words and insults as he rolled onto his back, scrubbing away sleep with his fists and his mouth hanging open in another jaw-popping yawn. He was glad to see that some things never did change - for as long as he had known him, this was the way Zero always woke - yawning, spitting curses to the morning and smacking his lips loudly. It was all very unattractive, but delightful nonetheless.

He patiently waited for Zero to adjust to the morning, smacking his lips a few more times as though tasting the air.

And then he was suddenly subjected to a pair of stunning violet eyes barely inches from his face, and they were so wide Kaname had trouble focusing on them.

"_Kaname_? What happened?"

The breathlessness of Zero's voice and its high, wispy pitch sent shivers down Kaname's spine, and he was surprised to find his tone coloured with panic. Quick as ever, Kaname pressed reassuring hands on his shoulders and hushed him. He had no idea what had brought this on, what possibly could have caused this undue panic, but it was making him nervous. Especially since Zero looked besides himself, eyes darting around frantically and whimpering every time he saw something he didn't like. Kaname rubbed circles on his shoulders and after a few moments it seemed to be doing the trick. Zero seemed to have got a hold of himself, and there was _some_ semblance of recognition when he looked at Kaname again.

It was then that something shifted in his eyes - his fright dulled down to quiet composure. Kaname made sure to keep eye contact with him since it seemed to soothe him, but the next thing he knew - he was no longer by his side. Zero sat up and rolled his head back so his neck cracked and popped both shoulders, much to Kaname's distaste.

He twisted around, the concerned look he shot him quite ironic, given how he'd reacted only moments ago.

"Are you alright?" he asked Kaname, to which he nodded, thinking how he was just about to ask Zero the same thing. He'd heard somewhere that sex changed people, but he was sure it wasn't meant to be in _this_ way. There were some things - little things - that weren't adding up, and a niggling at the back of his mind, a little voice warning him that something was amiss, but he ignored it. His troubles melted away by the warmth of Zero's smile.

He ran his thumb over Zero's lower lip, tracing it from beginning to end, and then brought his hand down to rest against his throat.

That was when he was reminded of what he wanted to ask Zero.

"Where did these come from?" he asked, tugging lightly on the shirt collar_. _Kaname knew for a fact that he had slept all the way through the night, which left Zero as the only witness to how they were dressed.

To his surprise, Zero stiffened.

"Well, I dressed us, you see," he answered a little too quickly.

"Okay…" Kaname muttered, confused by his reluctance to expand on that, "…why?"

Zero bit his lip, "Ichiru… he came back sometime in the night, and found us…" he bit his lip, "And he was obviously… embarrassed, so he woke me up and told me to 'have a shred decency, for _goodness sake'_, before we traumatised anyone else," Zero paused for a couple of seconds before adding, "And it's cold,"

Kaname could believe the last part, but there was something off about the first explanation. It was perfectly plausible, and Kaname couldn't for the life of him see why he was doubting it so much, but it might have been the way Zero had spoken, almost as if it was a little too rehearsed. Maybe it was because he didn't even mention the clothes being ruined beforehand, nor how they came to be repaired.

And the obvious shame in Zero's eyes didn't look like embarrassment, nor bashfulness for being caught in such a compromising position. It looked like barefaced lying, but Kaname couldn't understand the reason for it.

But a more pressing problem that dawned on Kaname from hearing what Zero had said was that he had _completely_ forgotten about Ichiru, but Zero mentioning him made him realise he had _no idea _where the other twin was. He couldn't even remember when he'd left them, what made him leave, or where he had gone to -

He flinched, startled by the unexpected pain that hit him.

"Kaname?"

He held his hand up for a moment, the pain was almost debilitating.

Just like in the dream.

"Where's… Ichiru?" he asked, gritting his teeth. Scratch that - it was _exactly _the same pain he'd had in the dream - but how? What had caused it? All he'd been doing was thinking about Ichi -

He cringed as the pain struck him again, the more he focused on it, the worse it got.

"He went out for a walk - Kaname, are you okay?" Zero's voice was soft in concern, and he touched Kaname's shoulder, but his touch surprisingly enough only added to the pain in his head. For reasons he could not comprehend, Zero's voice sounded… _wrong. _

"I'm fine," Kaname muttered, irritated by his mind playing tricks. Each time he got close to uncovering an answer, it was like a wall sprung up out of nowhere and he kept ramming his head into it over and over. He wasn't even trying to pry into anyone's mind this time, and yet - this pain was like he was being barred from thinking certain thoughts. He turned to Zero, finding the concern in his eyes less heart-warming than he would've liked - and his presence inexplicably… _annoyed _Kaname.

"Really, I'm fine," he insisted a little more firmly, pushing Zero's hands away. He stared for a moment at his hands like they didn't belong to him. _He'd pushed Zero away. _When usually he craved_ any_ attention he got from the grouchy Hunter. What was this madness? Kaname stood jerkily. He tried not to look at Zero. Something was not quite right, but until he could fix it he didn't want to take his frustrations out on Zero - who didn't deserve that kind of treatment at all. This was not his fault, it was Kaname's.

This all had to be some sort of… misunderstanding.

"Well, since we're already dressed, I suppose we're ready to… go," he announced awkwardly.

"_Go?"_

The alarm in Zero's voice caught him off guard, and Kaname was thrown by what expression he found on his face.

Unlike the calm collectedness of only _seconds _ago, Zero was back to his first, panicked state.

Seriously. _What the fuck was going on?_

Zero's eyes were clouded with so much fear and confusion - he didn't _like _seeing this expression on him at all. He wanted to help Zero but he didn't know _how_, and it was infuriating to no ends. If he only knew what was going on.

Zero shrank back a little when Kaname reached for him. He eyed their surroundings distrustfully and lifted his hands to cover his face, "Where am I? What's going on?"

He reached for Zero's hand again but dropped it when he recoiled.

"Tell me what's wrong, Zero," he begged, holding up his hands, "I want to help you. Please,"

Zero shook his head and backed away further, "No," he whimpered, "Just tell me where we are… and tell me what's going on!"

Without meaning to, Kaname pushed a little at Zero's mind -

- only to bowl over and fall to his knees. The jarring impact with the ground was nothing compared to his head, which felt like it was being stabbed, over and over again.

_What the fuck was going on?_

He couldn't get back on his feet, in fact - when he tried to, he fell back down. Zero reached him just before he hit the floor, and he could hear his muted sounds of his panic through the dense cloud of pain overwhelming him. Was this another dream, or rather, a nightmare? He closed his eyes and wondered if when he opened his eyes, he would wake to a world that actually made sense (what was wrong with Zero? This was not _his_ Zero-). He prayed that his mind would ease its throbbing so he could try to make sense of what was real and what was not.

* * *

><p>He couldn't have closed his eyes for more than a minute before he was slapped awake.<p>

Kaname glared in response to Zero's fierce scowl.

"You fainted!" he accused, dumping his head from his lap onto the floor. Zero stood and walked about, hands waving in aborted motions of distress, "I didn't know why but - you just _collapsed, _you freaky bastard! What's the fuck's going on? Where am I?" he cradled his arms in an odd gesture, stroking his hair behind his ears next in another unfamiliar gesture and running his hands down to the nape of his neck. He twisted the ends of his hair into a tiny ponytail and then let it free.

These little gestures weren't _Zero's_ nervous habits. He knew it was silly for him to fixate on something so insignificant in light of things, but whenever Zero was freaking out he fidgeted with his _wrists_ - not his hair - and for some reason that bit of trivia stuck out to Kaname. Zero grumbled incessantly when he was annoyed at something, and growled at anything that riled him up further. He paced when things became too much to bear, as though he was trying to chase up his thoughts - a habit he had picked up from Kaname out of familiarity.

He was probably losing his mind.

He had to be losing it - to paranoia, to doubt and a dulled perception of reality.

Kaname tried to ignore the little voice in his head urging him to think that _this was not Zero, _because that was utterly ridiculous_._ Mad, even.

And he shouldn't listen to mad thoughts.

But even the tiniest dalliance into this area of speculation spurred his mind into thinking up new reasons for Zero's uncharacteristic behaviour - because, in the realms of his madder thoughts, the fact that Zero was not acting like Zero at all at the moment could easily be explained by the fact Zero _was not _in fact, _Zero_. And that worryingly enough _made sense._

Kaname remembered when he'd come to a similar conclusion when he'd noticed Ichiru started acting off.

He didn't know the younger twin well, but he behaved _so strangely_ that it wasn't difficult to realise that something was wrong - and the only cause for this change in behaviour Kaname could think of was that Ichiru was being possessed. With Zero knowing more about how Purebloods could infiltrate into peoples' minds, could it be that he was aware of his own possession and was trying to fight it? Did that mean that these little episodes of "freaked out Zero" as opposed to "calm Zero" were Zero breaking through the mind control and reaching out to him?

Kaname backed Zero up against the wall, and yet - as Kaname debated how he could test this theory without being punished by that devastating pain. If Zero was trapped in his own mind by his possessor, he dared not think what pain Zero might be going through. Zero's possessor was fiercely guarding his mind - he saw Zero's shoulders start to shake and he almost broke right then. Zero was hurting and goddamn it_ he didn't know what to do._

What if he was being tortured in there?

Kaname clutched his shoulders again.

"It's alright," he maintained, though he was panicking too, "I think… I'm trying to-"

"I can't remember anything!" Zero cried, shaking so violently under Kaname that his grip had to loosen just so he wouldn't bruise. His eyes were wild, his movements jerky and sporadic - and he suddenly clutched at his head, much the same as Kaname had done - confirming that it was his mind in turmoil - "Stop… my _head_…"

"Tell me what's happening," he urged, placing his thumbs on Zero's temples and rubbing gently, "Come on Zero," he tapped his cheek, "I need to know what's going on in there-"

"N-No," Zero gasped, throwing his arms against Kaname so he had to back off - "S-stay away!"

"Let me help, please-"

"_No_!" he barked, scuttling back till his back pressed against the damp wall. He shuddered. "I've been trying - I couldn't see anything. For so long it was _dark. _But now I can… I can _see._ I don't know why… but she's struggling… to _keep me._ She can't keep me down, and - _oh god_… she's asking for permission,"

The mention of 'she' caught Kaname's attention.

Permission. _She needs permission._

That would imply that the possessor was losing control - for some reason or other, she was getting weaker and couldn't overpower Zero as easily as she had done Ichiru.

"What does she promise you in return?" he asked worriedly.

Zero hissed, "… I don't know… she says that it won't hurt anymore, that I'll be safe - but I don't _want_ to! I didn't agree to this!"

"Can I speak to her?" Kaname spoke especially gently, "Can you give control to her for just a few minutes? I need to talk to her to find out what is going on,"

Zero's mouth twisted into a grimace, but he nodded eventually, choking out, "If it will help," before his body slumped, and when he lifted himself upright again, it was clear - the difference in his posture - who it was in charge of his body now.

And with a small familiar quirk of her lips, it all became so clear to him that he could have smacked himself for not seeing it earlier. She was clad in Zero's skin, but a physical barrier shouldn't have been able to deceive him so easily. She appeared to be amused at finally being found out. "Kaname," she murmured softly in greeting, lowering her eyes demurely.

He sighed, "My Lady, I should have known,"

This drew a delightful laugh from her. Kaname could not bring himself to join in her hilarity. Not when her meddling had inadvertently caused Zero pain.

No matter how glad he was to see her again.

Instead he was terse, "My Lady, I hope you have a good reason for this,"

"That I do, my dear," she smiled, "I'm afraid it is all part of a very long-winded and complicated plan of mine. You are no stranger to my methods, Kaname, so you shouldn't be surprised by your confusion - nor should you be worried. I take care of those I care about. I needed a body to move around in, and this one was convenient. He's perfectly safe and in agreement with my terms,"

"I trusted you," he muttered, "I have always trusted you, but… you've been hiding yourself all this time. You have to understand my unease. Forgive me, but I know how ruthless you can be. Your plans are never without sacrifices, and that you have decided to involve Zero in your plans without my knowledge worries me greatly-"

"Stop worrying, Kaname, they are safe with me - and if you can trust me still, you will take this to heart," she cut in, her voice as strong as he remembered it. He bowed his head a little in shame. How could he doubt her? He had always trusted in her, but his fear for Zero - and Ichiru - bred doubts in his mind. You could hardly blame him though - Kaname couldn't quite forget the look of panic on his beloved's face, or how it killed him to see him so full of fear.

Lady sighed loudly, "I have tried everything I could think of to stop you from discovering me - and I understand this has created some distrust between us. But that is _your_ fault too, you know," at Kaname's quirked brow, she elaborated smugly, "We're much too alike, you and I. Too smart, too observant, and worst of all - too secretive. It's like trying to hide from myself - impossible. But to put your worries to rest, I'll admit when Ichiru was under my control Imade him sleep ,"

Kaname wondered how much she would actually tell him, and how much of that would be the altered truth. Zero had accused him many times of being too secretive, yet he was _nothing _compared to Lady.

He raised one eyebrow, "How so?"

"He agreed with my plans when I told them to him and he accepted me," she shrugged innocuously, "I gained his body and bid him rest,"

Kaname cleared his throat, "So - you took Ichiru _opportunistically_, and later on used him to keep an eye on me?"

She nodded, "Precisely,"

"No…_other _motives?" Kaname tried to wrangle out as much as he could, for all that Lady was saying, this motive appeared far too innocent than what Kaname suspected lay beneath it.

Lady looked rightly affronted, "What are you suggesting? Oh Kaname, has my secrecy lost me this much of your trust? Are you so paranoid that when I confess to crime it is _still _not enough?"

"If you are certain that is all you have done, then I will accept your confession. My apologies," Kaname bowed his head, but - when he looked up again, Zero's eyes were blazing with the same fear from before and he grabbed Kaname by his collar. He had not expected Zero to take control again so out of the blue - then again, Lady had said _Ichiru _had accepted her possession, not Zero.

Zero's knuckles were white from how tightly he clung to him, and his eyes couldn't keep still - darting around in that fierce, frightful way - he yanked Kaname down closer and hissed at him, "It's not what we agreed!" as though he were telling him a secret. He winced - it was clear that he was fighting for control - he shook Kaname desperately, "_It's not what we agreed!_"

And then - as quick as he had come, Zero was pushed down and Lady returned, looking slightly more flustered than the last time. Kaname made a questioning noise. What did he mean: _It's not what we agreed_?

"So what do you want Zero for then?" he asked instead, gently pulling Zero's tight fists away from his neck. They were tight as vices, and even Lady seemed unable to get them to loosen. Her lips trembled, and for a moment she looked uncertain.

Then her smile returned and she shrugged adroitly.

"I am keeping him safe,"

* * *

><p><strong><em>I fear no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) I want<em>**  
><strong><em>no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)<em>**  
><strong><em>and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant<em>**  
><strong><em>and whatever a sun will always sing is you<em>**

* * *

><p>Lately, Zero could feel the white horse's muscles rippling underneath him. Sometimes he sank a few millimetres, sometimes <em>inches<em>, whenever its ghostly frame became less opaque and he could see the ground beneath him. He was riding a spectre, a ghost - who's tangibility fluctuated due to some unseen forces. It seemed as though something was causing the horse to struggle to maintain a solid state.

Zero just wondered what the fuck was making it do this so he could shoot it dead.

God damn, he squeezed his eyes shut when another moment of nothingness-between-him-and-sharp-rocks came to pass, and he felt like he was flying.

It was fucking _terrifying._

"Fuck! Fuck! No!" he yelped, clinging onto the flimsy strands of mane he could reach. They passed through his fingers and he was left clutching nothing.

He was going to fall.

He was going to fall and hit the ground and die at this _inane _speed they were going at.

And he was going to be a smear - a red smear of - of _innards _because the rocky ground was going to tear him to _shreds._

"Fuck _stop! Stop, Lady, __**stop**__!"_ he shrieked, tears streaking the corners of his eyes to his ears - _from the wind_, he told himself, from the _wind._ He couldn't take it anymore! He might just jump off now - spare himself from this rollercoaster ride of death -

_Relax, dear Hunter, _a cool voice spoke in his head. He shuddered at the shiver her silky voice brought, _you are safe. I won't let you fall -_

"Look at the ground! _Look _at the - god. Damn. _Ground!"_ he screeched, gritting his teeth, "I can _see _it! I can fucking see it through this - fake - _shoddy_ excuse for a horse!"

_I am trying to maintain a solid form whilst also keeping Kaname in the dark about where we are. If you could appreciate how difficult this is, it would be much appreciated. I am trying my best._

…_also, she is __**your**__ horse. She wished to bear you for the final stretch of the journey._

Zero forgot his previous anger - his horse? _His _horse, oh no, it _couldn't _be - "Lily?" he splayed a hand over the warm smooth muscle of her throat, choking on a gasp when she tossed her mane as she tilted her head to peer at him. All this time he'd thought it was only coincidence that she looked so much like his Lily, he'd convinced himself she was Lady's white horse, not his - but this... this reunion was bittersweet, because although this was _exactly _what he needed - it also confirmed his speculations that when the Academy fell… Lily must have been crushed beneath it.

She was a ghost - but _even after death _the stubbornness she shared with her master prevailed and she had managed to convince Lady to let her accompany him to the end. He could ask for no better farewell than this, and pressed his forehead against her neck.

"I thought it was you," he mumbled, grinning when he heard her snort in disbelief. "Alright, I thought it was you _at first_, and then I wasn't so sure. But you had to prove me wrong, didn't you?" she huffed, ears flicking as if to say _but of course._

_Lily isn't as stable as you may have liked because, as I said before, part of my mind is maintaining your alibi as we speak. We can't afford to be discovered. Not yet._

"I know," he agreed, "But how much longer till she… stabilises?"

There was a tremulous pause in which Zero held his breath.

_Not long. Soon we'll be out of range._

"...come again?"

_The Pureblood psyche can reach out to those within a certain distance - a range in which we can use our telepathic abilities to influence anyone within it._

That was a disturbing notion, but Zero nodded in understanding.

_My influence is being stretched between two places. Like a rubber band, I can only stretch so far, but since my soul resides with you my control over Ichiru is waning. Soon enough I will be too far away from Ichiru and he will regain full control of his body. No doubt he will tell everything to Kaname, and then he will come after us - at the same time my power over here with Lily will grow and I will make her run faster than anything you have ever seen. Hopefully it will all be over by the time Kaname reaches us._

"And hopefully you can make Lily a little more solid too?" Zero suggested.

_I can indeed._

He sighed in relief.

"Great," he muttered. Being left to sit idle on a horse for so long allowed Zero's mind to wander frequently, and yet it constantly returned to one person in particular.

"Tell me how he is,"

_He is fine._

Zero waited for more, but when it seemed Lady wouldn't elaborate, he opened his mouth -

_I don't wish to trouble you._

Zero's heart plummeted.

"What's the matter?" he babbled, "Is he hurt? Is he following us-"

_No, he isn't following us - I don't - wasn't it Ichiru you were asking for?_

"No - _Kaname_, obviously," the absoluteness in his answer stunned him - since when did he choose to worry about his lover over his brother? Kaname could take care of himself better than Ichiru could at any rate. What was the logic in worrying about him?

_Oh. Well, Kaname is alright too, _Lady added quickly. As if he hadn't noticed her slip-up.

He nodded stiffly, "And…what's the bad news?"

_With whom?_

"With _my brother!"_

_It's just that… I can barely feel him anymore. Can you feel the warmth of Lily's hide? She breathes now too. The more corporeal she becomes, the more my hold on Ichiru fades. I don't know how much longer I can keep him - already Kaname is picking up that something's not quite right._

"How long do we have?"

_Not long at all_.

He burrowed into Lily's neck for comfort, feeling the cold wind mercilessly nip at his ears. The air whistled by. They were going faster. Just like Lady had said before, she was pushing Lily to unthinkable speeds.

"Holy shit!" he cried, clutching on for dear life.

_Hold on tight, my child. I won't slow down till we get there. He isn't following us yet, but we must put as much distance between us as we can._

Zero's eyes were streaming horizontally against his face again, disappearing in the hair above his ears. He plastered himself to Lily's back and ducked his head, twisting to look sideways at the scenery.

To his surprise, he saw the shape of Kuran Castle blurry through the fog and his tears. It was a smear of darkness on the valley floor, with much of the darkness around it writhing - even at this distance - he could imagine the hundreds caught in the throes of battle, yet much of the smear was also utterly still. He also knew what that stillness meant too. Those who had fallen…

But he didn't understand why they were passing by.

"Aren't we going there?" he asked, having expected to meet Rido there on the battlefield.

_No, _was her magnificent reply. How incredibly informative. He scowled, but fought down the part of him that felt he should join the battle, where he thought he belonged - like any good soldier. He had another role to fulfil - one no one else could.

Zero watched glumly as the Castle crawled out of the corner of his eye. His heart throbbed again, surprising him with the unexpected pang and jarring feeling of loss that came with the Castle disappearing from his sight. It was like something was being ripped out of him, and then it hit him - there was no turning back from here. That was the last sight of a familiar place - all that lay ahead was completely unknown. What awaited him there, he could scarcely even begin to imagine, but there was no turning back - now that they had crossed the point of no return.

* * *

><p>Kaname repeated the word with barely concealed disgust, "<em>Safe<em>," inside, he was _fuming. _Was Lady insinuating that _he_ was not good enough to keep Zero adequately _safe? _"I can keep him safe - I _am_ keeping him safe," Lady didn't even bat an eyelash, and like a scolded child, Kaname withered under her apathetic stare, "Sorry," he added meekly.

"I should hope you are," she snapped, causing him to wince, "I would have thought that _you_ of all people would be grateful for extra protection for Zero. Accepting help where it is offered freely is often a wise choice, Kaname - _especially _when it is offered by me,"

"Sorry," he repeated, wishing he had kept his mouth shut now.

"Now," she announced, calling his attention from staring at the floor to her again, "I need to rest. Possession takes up so much energy-"

"Rest?" Kaname frowned, "We _have _rested. We cannot rest. I promised Zero we would return to the battle as soon as possible. And anyway, we've rested enough-"

"Kaname, I need to rest. You don't want Zero falling ill from exhaustion do you?"

"- but I promised Zero-"

"_Forget it!"_

Kaname jumped at the sudden outburst, completely taken aback by Lady's tone - for it wasn't one of anger, but panic. Desperation etched in Zero's face. Fear.

He got that niggling feeling again, telling him that something was not quite right.

"Kaname," Lady sighed, folding her hands together, "I'm sorry, darling, but I am really, very tired. Can we not just rest for a few more hours?" _Hours? _They certainly couldn't afford to spend _hours _resting, "I won't be of any use to you half-asleep,"

"_You_ won't be of any to me even fully awake - this is _Zero's _task. He might be tired when you hand control over to him again, but he knows it must be done and we must leave _now._ Why do you speak as if you don't know this?" his eyes narrowed, "And what gives you the right to dismiss a promise _I _made to Zero?"

"Kaname-"

"Why are you acting so strangely? Sometimes when I look at you, it's almost like you can't bear to see me,"

"Kaname-"

"You have to tell me," Kaname said, "Anything you aren't telling me… if it's about Zero , I beg you - I must be told it. He is a part of me, Lady. If I don't know him, I do not know myself,"

This last part seemed to break her resolve, and to Kaname's amazement for the first time in his long life he saw her droop in defeat, "The game is up," she said softly, taking his hand in hers - in Zero's - "I hate lying to you, my dear. My reasons for doing this," she paused to gauge his mood, "Have always been with your best interests at heart. I only hope you can forgive me for what I chose to do, for it was all with good intentions. When he explains everything to you, do not be angry with him for he is not to blame. No one is to blame, but unfortunately - all of us are to suffer nonetheless,"

"What do you-"

"You and I will both lose someone today, Kaname," and with one last smile, "Someone important to us. Be brave, my love," she kissed his cheek and then faded from Zero's face.

Kaname watched how she seeped out of Zero, he slumped against the wall and then slowly lifted himself upright. He blinked slowly, wearily, and yet - as soon as he caught sight of Kaname he perked right up. Kaname was about to lean over and kiss him to welcome him back, but then he was shoved back - once again thwarted by his own lover - and the flame in Zero's eyes was not one of passion, nor relief - but pure anger.

"You fucking idiot!"

Kaname blinked at the insult, unable to find a reason for Zero's wrath. He watched him drag a hand through his hair and bite on the nails of his other hand in despair. Again - these bothered him, as they were not natural habits of Zero's - and he despaired. Why was he still not acting like himself? Lady was gone now, he should be back to _normal._

Zero sprang back up in unfounded indignation, shoving Kaname backwards as he beat at his chest.

"I have been trying to tell you - _all this time - _that something was wrong. Did you listen? No! And _now_ we are too late,"

"Too late for - no, we still have time. Don't worry, Lady is gone - and we can still get there in time if we leave right no-"

"Get where? What are you talking about?"

"To the Castle, of course - the battlefield," Kaname paused. He realised that he had no idea what Zero had supposedly been '_telling him all along' _and frowned, "What are _you _talking about?"

"Zero! He's gone, hasn't he? And all this time we've spent dawdling around and chatting to Lady - _he's _been getting further and further away!"

That was the moment where things started to make sense.

Kaname looked back on everything that had happened since he'd woken up - all the strange little things that didn't add up, the clues that told him something was amiss - and came to the startling conclusion that… that - this was not Zero standing before him.

It was Ichiru.

From the start - something had always been a little off about his behaviour - and… and _Zero's clothes. _If Lady had been possessing him at the time, she must have been the one to mend them. Kaname tugged the hem of his shirt up, much to Ichiru's squawking protests, and saw - not Zero's concave stomach with protruding ribcage, but Ichiru's perfectly healthy and unmarked body. His scent was covered by the clothes, but he couldn't mistake Zero's sickly body for Ichiru's.

"_Boundaries, _man-!"

Kaname brushed against Ichiru's mind.

_It wasn't him._

He recoiled - he'd been tricked. It was all part of a terrible, elaborate scheme - to keep him from knowing that Zero was already gone.

His heart sank with dread. How had he not seen the differences? Was he blind?

But Lady had said before - _I once had Ichiru under my control. I made him sleep._

She could have easily done the same thing to him.

"That's what I'm talking about - don't you see?" Ichiru insisted, "This was all part of her plan! When Lady first met me at the Castle, she only told me she would keep Zero safe if I lent her my body. I thought - sure, I'm no help to him otherwise - but then she pushed me _deep_ under. I only woke up when she started to plan this - this switch up - and now all I know is that Zero's in danger!"

"She will have taken him to Rido," Kaname practically whispered, the hope he'd been clinging too suddenly never existed.

"She convinced him to leave in the night, so they must be far from here already - she's gone from my mind,"

"Where is she taking him?" Kaname asked quickly, already making for the door.

Ichiru followed behind, "I don't know. That part of the plan was heavily guarded-"

"But you've seen parts of its," Kaname paused, turning and grabbing Ichiru's shoulder, "You've seen them. Even the vaguest details are important, Ichiru - what did you see?"

The younger twin's face scrunched up in thought, "…it was all scrambled, but I… I think I saw a valley," his eyes turned hazy in memory, "It was blurred - no, it was misty -"

_Blurred scenery. Mist._

Kaname couldn't help but think back on his dream and how strangely their surroundings currently fit the description - the mountainsides were barely visible, but blankets of fog kept rolling down towards the valley floor, obstructing their view.

"- I think… I think she was heading towards the Castle. But she was moving so fast, I couldn't see -"

_The drag of the wind pulling him back, crushing him against the back of a -_

"- and everything was moving funny. Like… jumping up and down… I think they were on a-"

"Horse," Kaname blurted, suddenly feeling very sick.

Ichiru blinked in surprise. "Yeah - how did you know?"

It wasn't a dream he'd had. It was a vision. With Lady having to stretch her mind over such a great distance, it was almost like he'd picked up on her signal subconsciously, only - he hadn't seen things from the perspective of _Lady, _he'd seen things through "_Zero's eyes",_ and they weren't her plans…they were events that were _actually happening_.

This was just getting worse and worse - and then Kaname froze in pure horror. His heart - not his heart, _Zero's_ - in the dream…

In the dream…

His face must have been utterly distraught, because soon Ichiru was nudging him, "What? What is it?"

He shook him off and began marching down the mountain side, fuming and trembling in anger and fear. Ichiru was behind him, struggling to keep up with his pace. Without Lady there any more, it seemed he was back to his usual clumsy self - but perhaps as a lingering effect of her stay, his stamina was better than before - he could still keep up with Kaname's long strides.

"Don't follow me," he said through gritted teeth. Even if Ichiru was stronger now, he would still be a liability in the fight - untrained and unarmed as he was.

"I'm not," Ichiru argued back, "We're just headed after the same person," and Kaname decided to leave it. He couldn't spare any more anger on impudence, or his anger would consume the pitiful remains of his self-control. If Ichiru wanted to tag along, then so be it. "Anyway - have you given any thought to how we might find him now? It's been _hours_. There will be no scent to follow… especially since Lady got Zero to wash himself before he left,"

The scent trail Zero left behind was thin and patchy, already mostly scattered by the fog. It was the horse - he realised - if the horse was carrying him over the land, Zero's feet would never touch the ground. There was nothing to track. Kaname drew to a reluctant stop. Ichiru huffed beside him.

"Told you so," he muttered grouchily, folding his arms. "We need to _think _about where she could have taken him. There's no point in running off in any old directio, only to find ourselves miles away from where they actually are when it is too late,"

"You're right," he agreed, sighing heavily when he found his mind in so much of a flurry that he could hardly pin a thought down. "So, what are your thoughts?"

"Well… he can't be at the Castle. They didn't stop there," Ichiru reasoned.

"But they _did_ pass by it,"

"Yeah, so…"

"If we go there, maybe if we're fast enough we can catch their scent before it fades," he crouched down and offered Ichiru his back, "Get on. We need to move fast, and you won't be slowing me down," and much to his surprise - the younger twin only muttered a couple of half-hearted protests but he let himself be carried without half as much of a fuss as Zero would have put up with.

"What will we do when we find him anyway?" Ichiru asked as he tried to figure out how he was supposed to climb on without kicking him in the sides. Was he meant to just _hop on?_ Kaname was too tall. "I mean, we can't really do anything, can we? Isn't that the whole point? It's Zero's job to finish Rido, so-"

"We're not going to stop him, I'm just not going to leave him there alone," Kaname grabbed Ichiru's knees and hooking them over his arms impatiently, "He won't be left to face him alone. Not if I can help it,"

Ichiru paused at Kaname's words, but then he made a satisfied noise, "Yeah, me too,"

Kaname snorted, "_You'll _be staying at the Castl-"

Kaname's head whipped up. Just as he began to climb onto his back - the abrupt motion had Ichiru halting, one ankle precariously caught in the crook of Kaname's arm.

He was about to ask what was wrong, but then he was suddenly being carted backwards - his trapped leg pushed at an uncomfortable angle - and his back slammed into the door of the shack. Kaname shoved at him, apparently forgetting the door had to be _pulled_, not pushed to be opened - but clearly more important things were occupying his attention. His desperation - no, his _need _to get Ichiru back indoors was rather terrifying.

"Ka-"

"Quiet!" Kaname snapped.

Ichiru shut up immediately and he strained to hear whatever Kaname had. At first, for a while, he heard nothing. Then he heard what he thought was the flutter of wind trembling leaves in the trees - nothing to be instantly afraid of, nothing too terrible (yet), as far as he was concerned. It could just be the wind.

But then the whistling rose in a crescendo, high as a whistle and yet with a thundering echo. Ichiru felt the door behind him give, the bolt bursting through the jamb in an explosion of rotted splinters as Kaname literally pushed him through. He tumbled into the dark, and just as he was regaining his balance Kaname tried shutting the door behind him. He quickly caught the edge of the door with his foot, and to his utter amazement, he was just about able to keep the door open a crack against Kaname's strength, and peeked through the gap. Kaname's teeth were gritted in exertion and his eyes were fierce on Ichiru, sparking hints of fear in him.

"Stop it," he hissed, throwing his weight against the door and narrowing the gap by a few centimetres. "Get in!"

"What is it?" Ichiru demanded, burning to know what he was being hidden from. He didn't want to leave Kaname outside alone if that thing was dangerous - but it was clear that that was exactly Kaname's intention - to protect him, and no amount of budging would move him, much to his chagrin. He could hear the thundering of the ground drawing closer, deeper and louder, and the whistling sound rise to an unsettling whine.

Kaname didn't have time to answer him.

One moment - the volume of the noise became a frightful roar, and in the next - she was there.

The little Ichiru could see - she had long golden hair and a tattered dress stained in red - but that was all he needed to see to know who she was. He drew back and decided that perhaps it was best to leave the Purebloods to their quarrel. He had no standing in this fight, and would probably be more of a hindrance than help to Kaname.

"Kaname, sweet," Sara crooned, and then there was a _slam._

The door groaned from the impact, and though Ichiru was blind to everything happening outside, he could imagine Sara had shoved Kaname into the door. Ichiru worryingly recalled how easy it had been to hold against Kaname pushing the door on the other side and couldn't help but wonder - did this mean he was as strong as Kaname was, or had Kaname somehow become as weak as him?

The door thudded again. More splinters. The whole shack shifted - it didn't just shake, it _moved. _

"…-t me see him… let me see…" her voice was muffled, and it was clear to Ichiru now - as he stepped back from the door and saw the shape Kaname's body shadowed through the cracks - he was literally standing between him and Sara. Unmovable. He was shielding him from harm. Ichiru barely breathed when he heard Kaname groan in pain.

Why wasn't he fighting back?

Sara's voice was getting louder, more impatient and shrill.

Was he too weak?

"…I can _smell _him in there… let me in!"

_Thump. _Kaname let out a grunt. Whether he'd been kicked or punched, Ichiru couldn't tell, but the next sounds that came sounded like punctured flesh. The squelching noise almost had him gagging, and there was a gurgling croak that rattled in his ears. The screech of nails being dragged down the wood had Ichiru staggering backwards, his heart pounding -

"Let me in!"

But Kaname _roared _and there was an answering shriek - and Kaname was definitely fighting back now. He could hear Sara's squeals of pain and wanted to cheer Kaname on - wanted to help him somehow - but he was blocking the fucking _door_ so he couldn't get out. Lord knew how, but Kaname was somehow managing to fight Sara _and _barricade the doorway at the same time - maybe that was why he wasn't fighting at full strength. It must be a distraction to him, having to guard that narrow space whilst fighting - only half his focus was on gaining the upper hand in the fight.

Sara seemed to know this - her movements were side-to-side, feints and taunts - trying to draw Kaname away from his place. Ichiru eyed the widening cracks in the door where she was managing to claw her way through, the slits of light blinding him in the darkness. He was trapped and Kaname was weakening.

Ichiru gasped when she screamed it next:

"Let me in! _Let me in!"_

Like something from a horror film or a nightmare, her hand punched through one of the larger cracks. It was bloodied and taloned, and reaching out for _him. _Ichiru plastered himself to the opposite wall in the blink of an eye, wincing when she started chanting it as a mantra, her hand coming closer and closer -

Her hand was tugged out of the door and he could hear Kaname throwing her back with thundering blows, each one punctuated with a grunt or yell.

Then - the beam of light that shone through the hole Sara's fist left behind glinted on something on the ground.

Ichiru leapt towards it. Just as he did the door give an almighty _crack _and white light flooded in, blinding him. He snatched up Bloody Rose and swivelled round, blindly he fired off three rounds. The warm spatter hit his face at the close range and he heard a distinctive howl of pain that made him almost drop the gun… gasping in horror when he realised _who_ he'd shot…

"No," he whimpered, "Oh god no… no, I'm sorry! _Please…"_

He caught Kaname as he slumped forwards and flinched as his fingers landed on something wet. Kaname's grip was still surprisingly strong as he pulled him close, tucking himself under his arm and twisting Ichiru around so his back was to his chest. Ichiru's knees almost gave in when Kaname went dead-weight on him, draped over his back like a cape. Kaname then started to pull him back, out of the shack; at the same time he felt one of Kaname's hand wrap around his wrist.

"'tay… alert," he mumbled in his ear, "We have… to get _out_. Keep looking… keep-" he spat out some blood. Kaname's breath gurgled in his ear and he could feel the blood seeping into the back of his shirt.

"Oh god, I'm sorry!" Ichiru exclaimed again, _as if sorry would make it all better._

"Don't-"

"Are you okay-?"

"_Ichiru, focus!_"

Kaname yanked his arm upwards and he instinctively fired two shots. There was a scuttling sound from the roof - most likely Sara dodging the bullets. Kaname continued to drag him backwards towards the door, yet not letting a bit of space come between them. It dawned on Ichiru that Kaname was _still_ trying to shield him. Even with him injured and bleeding, he was determined to cover his back. That just wouldn't do -

"Kaname, let me-"

"_Again_!" Kaname yelled, whipping his arm to the right. He squeezed two more bullets out. The same scuttling sound followed. She was still moving. "I am your eyes … your ears. Shoot when I tell you, but shoot only once," Kaname hissed. He nodded quickly. _Shoot only once. _If it were Zero in his place, he thought despairingly, Sara would be dead by now. He felt Kaname stumble over a floorboard and remembered that he'd said_ we have to get out of here._

But if Sara was outside the shack, why would they _want _to go out there? Surely they'd be safer inside.

_You'll be trapped._

It was true - the shack was tiny. There was no way out except for that one door, so Sara could trap them inside if they weren't careful.

Kaname yanked his arm to the far-left corner. He shot. She scuttled away.

They were too slow - with each shot - each time Kaname had to direct him and their reactions were too delayed to catch her in time. They missed her only slightly each time.

"How many are left?"

Ichiru blinked rapidly, "What?" he frowned as one of the ceiling boards creaked disturbingly.

"How many… left?"

"I don't underst-"

…_shoot only once._

How many _bullets _left - oh god - he hurried to check but the damn gun wouldn't cooperate, his fingers shaking so hard he could barely hold it steady. Two. There were only two left.

"Kaname? We have two left,"

He waited for a bit. When Kaname didn't reply - and he noticed they'd stopped moving backwards - he shook his shoulders a bit, jostling Kaname, but there was no response.

No.

Not now - god, what would Zero say when he found out he'd shot his boyfriend?

_What if he had killed him?_

"Don't be silly," Ichiru told himself. Only _Purebloods_ can kill Purebloods. Kaname was just… resting, probably. Ichiru shuffled backwards. It was difficult to keep one part of him focused on Sara (who he couldn't see or hear), whilst trying to get out of the shack without tripping over Kaname's trailing feet.

And he had two bullets. Only two more shots - and even if he managed to hit the mark, it might only anger Sara more. It certainly wouldn't kill her.

Kaname let out a wet cough and slid down his back.

"No, _no! _C'mon, man. Stay with me…"

But just as he spoke, there was a scuffle to his right. He turned. Shot. There was a yelp of pain, but then she scuttled over to somewhere else.

Ichiru held his breath.

He scuttled back a few more inches, finally feeling the wisps of cold air blowing down his collar and the edges of the doorway at the corners of his eyes. _They were going to make it. _He shivered in anticipation. They were almost out.

And then - it all went wrong, so _quickly_ -

Suddenly Kaname was ripped off his back. He heard him scream - the impact of his body hitting the ground - saw his eyes widen and him crawling on his knees towards him, arms outstretched - and then the door slammed shut and all he could hear was Kaname screaming his name. Ichiru was trapped.

He was trapped.

And from the sound of heavy breathing beside him - he wasn't alone.

* * *

><p>After they'd left the Castle behind them, Zero was feeling pretty raw. The Weapon was sheathed in his trouser pocket, his arms were looped around Lily's neck, and he was staring dully into the fog, trying to convince himself that he was prepared for this. Lily was being unnaturally quiet and well-behaved - but then again, she wasn't really Lily was she? Just a sad imitation of his beloved horse. Death had changed her.<p>

Just as he thought this - Lily started chuffing at every bird they startled out of the undergrowth and was amusing herself, taking advantage of her ghostly form to walk _through_ the bushes in order to scare them out of their nests.

Well, he guessed death didn't change _all _things then. She was still a childish bully underneath this sham of obedience and serenity - again, she just had to prove him wrong.

"That's my girl," he patted her, grinning as she purposefully dragged them through another bush. A family of partridges scurried in all directions, screeching angrily.

They had slowed down a lot, which he supposed meant that they were nearly wherever Lady was taking him. Zero still had no idea. He didn't remember ever being in such a dense forest - then again, the fog washed out most of the recognisable landscape and seemed to make everything feel even _more_ mysterious. Lady had stopped talking to him, but he put it to her still expending a lot of her concentration on "the other side". He could see Kaname - being naturally a very perceptive and curious man - finding all sorts of odd clues to whatever story Lady had told him and making it a real challenge to keep the act together. _Typical_, he couldn't help but grin. Pain-in-the-ass-Kaname was too smart for his own good and causing Lady to invent all types of lies.

_Zero._

"Unh?" he was a little taken aback by the hesitancy in Lady's voice. She wasn't speaking urgently but _quietly, _her whispery voice so low he had to practically slow his heartbeat to hear her clearly.

_I'm sorry…_

"…Lady? Are you alright?"

_I cannot go with you. Not beyond this point, _to her credit, she sounded miserable about it, _I'm truly sorry Zero but this is as far as I can go. _

"What? What do you mean?" panic struck him at the thought of Lady abandoning him, then anger - "You can't leave me here!"

_I have to. There's nothing more I can do for you. He is my weakness, but you are my strength. I am always with you, my love. Ahead of you, you will find a path. Follow it. _

"Hey! Come on, you can't just-"

_You have to go now. Don't keep him waiting._

And then he felt emptier - even colder than before. Lily was still there with him, but Lady had completely withdrawn from his mind, and it was like the aching void he'd experienced after Kaname left his mind.

"Fuck," the word burst from his lips, and he laughed breathily as giddy nerves took hold of him. "_Fuck_," he repeated with feeling, "I'm really not ready for this,"

There was another pause.

"I'm not ready for this at all. _Shit_,"

_Follow the path._

He nudged Lily with his knees and she sniffed out the path, and to her credit, she behaved for the remainder of the journey. Even she seemed to sense that things were becoming more serious. It was only when the path began to become more moss-covered and grown over that he noticed Lily's hide shimmering, which he'd at first thought was a trick of the tree-dappled light, but she was fading. He thought she would stay with him to the end, but like Lady had said before - this was the end of the road. Solemnity didn't suit her, and she snorted frequently to break the heavy and foreboding silence. Zero noticed her hooves were dragging in the mulch and sighed.

"When you go," he muttered, watching her ears flicker in interest, "Bite Lady on the ass for me. This mission of hers is so full of sh-" she whinnied in agreement, forcing a laugh out of him as he couldn't help but marvel at how alike they were. He stroked her hair and carefully slid off her back, walking around to bow his forehead to hers, "Be a good girl, alright? Other people don't find your attitude nearly as cute as I do,"

Lily stomped her hooves and chewed on Zero's collar.

"I know, they're all idiots... I might see you soon," he sighed, watching the tree behind her becoming more visible as she faded, "Then again, if I _don't_ die and Kaname finds me after this-" Lily spat out one of his buttons, he sighed again, "That's right, girl. I'm still dead,"

He thought he imagined the whinny ringing in the back of his ears which sounded very much like laughter, though he took it as a farewell.

Zero swallowed thickly, turning back to the ruined path. "I'll see you soon then,"

* * *

><p>Kaname tried everything to get in, but the pain from the bullet was distracting, to say the least. Its poison was making his vision swim, his limbs were made heavy and uncooperative. It was his turn to strain to hear anything happening inside, but to his utter disbelief he couldn't hear a thing. He clawed his way up the door to peer through the holes, but it was futile - of course, his own head was blocking out the light - so he could not see nor hear anything happening inside.<p>

Ichiru. God, he had first failed to keep Zero safe and now Ichiru too?

And his friends - his people… how could he be of help to _anyone _now when he was now injured like this?

_Damn it, Ichiru. _He knew it wasn't the boy's fault. He'd been frightened and shot instinctively, but… goddamn it still.

"Ichiru!" he yelled, banging at the door. How could such a flimsy, rotten door bear so much strength against him? Was he truly so weakened by the bullet? He couldn't understand it, "Ichiru, answer me!"

All remained silent inside.

He let out a disgruntled yell, kicking at the door in frustration.

Kaname gasped as another wave of nausea hit him, the burning in his side causing him to fall to the ground and his mouth to foam red spittle again. He spat out more blood, wheezing and pressing his wound. He could feel his body mending, albeit much more slowly than it usually would, and rose unsteadily to his feet again.

Then he heard a gunshot and his blood ran cold.

There was a loud thud.

Then the door flew open and Ichiru hurdled out of it like a bat out of hell, screaming, "She's maaad!" and ducking behind him. "Get her, get her!"

Kaname only had a few seconds to react before a second, bloodier figure also came flying out of the shack. He barely had time to take in her ferocious snarl, curled lip and the two bullet wounds staining her already bloody dress - one had clipped her on the thigh, the other had ruined her beautiful face. Blood dripped from her lips, the cloying sweet scent of it heavy in the air.

But all this gory detail was just the beginning - Kaname was raring to add his own bit to it.

Within the next few seconds - the whole account of was a little fuzzy after Sara stopped screaming and Ichiru started up - Kaname found his hands drenched thickly in blood and was left standing before something that was barely recognisable as a body. Ichiru was letting out little gasping sobs and broken vowels sputtered from his gaping mouth. He was ashen-faced and several yards away from Kaname, curled up against a rock with his eyes wide on Sar -… on what _remained _of Sara.

"Is she dead?" he asked a little pointlessly, his voice tight and hoarse from screaming. Kaname nodded tiredly. "Is the bitch _dead_?" he demanded a little more loudly.

"Yes, she is dead," Kaname replied patiently, watching a rather hysterical smile find its way to Ichiru's lips. "For now."

"_Hell _yeah, that's right, bitch," he nodded sharply, darting a glance at Sara, "You _better _be dead! Oh god…" to Kaname's surprise, Ichiru's previous bravado vanished and his face turn an alarming shade of green. "I can never un-see that," he finally managed to say, wiping his eyes shakily, "Thanks for the nightmares,"

"I'm… sorry," was all Kaname found he could say. He curled his hands into fists, but a squelching noise made him realise he was holding something in them. He examined them -

"Oh Jesus _fuck. _Why did you have to show me - oh god -"

Ichiru vomited noisily behind the rock.

Kaname dropped the scrap of liver and… whatever the other thing was. Wiping his hands on his trousers did little to clean his hands, but he strode over to Ichiru and offered to pull him up. Ichiru whimpered but took it after a little debate with his stomach to keep it together.

"Oh fuck - fuck it's sticky-"

"You shot her in the dark," Kaname argued.

Ichiru nodded offhandedly, more focused on diverting his eyes from… from Sara, who he couldn't un-see.

"Yeah," he replied shakily, remembering…

…_She was somewhere between him and the door. It was an unwinnable situation - he was at a disadvantage in every way possible. _

_And yet. _

_Ichiru could hear her ragged breaths. Some of the damage Kaname had inflicted on her before had made it laboured and heavy and very audible in the dark. He could track her movements from it, and he tried to convince himself that was all he needed. _

_And all he needed to do was draw her away from the door. Then he could run out and… see where things went from there._

_Sara growled - _

_He shot - she shrieked - he shoved her aside and bolted for it. _

_Never had he run so fast, or been so afraid. _

_He found Kaname right in front of the door and ran further - he would have to finish the job - as a Pureblood, only he could…_

"So you've seen much worse," Kaname continued. Ichiru made a noise of complaint, but Kaname would have none of it - he needed Ichiru to get past his trauma and get focused, "You've seen much worse," he reiterated.

Ichiru nodded slowly, gulping down his protests, "Damn, you really had it out for her," he blinked out of the flashback and sucked in a sharp breath.

"Hold on tight," Kaname instructed him calmly, bending down to lift him onto his back.

"No, but you're-" _injured_, he wanted to say, but he barely got a hold on his neck before they were tearing through the scenery - the fog itself parted in the gust of his speed.

At the back of Ichiru's head, he remembered the Castle being very far away.

Kaname didn't make it seem that way. He was pretty sure he tore through time to get there in under a few seconds, because soon he was dumped on his jelly-legs and wiping his cheeks from wind-tears. They were right outside the border and the… the _smell. _Even he, as a Hunter, could smell it. Ichiru's stomach apologised to him briefly before he vomited again. Kaname was unmoved by it - or at least, he had been expecting it to be this bad. His eyes, when Ichiru looked at him, were actually lit with something akin to _hope. _

"I can still hear the battle," he breathed. Over the wall, the screams and war cries rang out into the chilly air, and the clashing of armour and ripping and squelching -

He had to think of something else. He wondered how Kaname could think this was a good thing when all it made him do was want to throw up. Ichiru kicked some dirt over his mess with a grimace and then followed Kaname's aimless walk.

He was stumbling badly. It seemed the stubborn Pureblood had overestimated his ability to heal, and that zip through space and time certainly hadn't helped at all with that.

"Yeah, I can hear it too," he nodded, shrugging, "So what?" he held out his hands, "We're here to find Zero,"

Kaname turned around to him, eyes sharp, "_I _am here to find Zero. I thought the battle would be over… that I could leave you here safely,"

"No," Ichiru crossed his arms, shaking his head, "No way am I staying here. Go on, _try _it. I've got no armour, and this," he waved 'Rose, "Is bloody useless now. I have no idea how to get anywhere around here - are you really gonna leave me here?"

Kaname frowned, tilting his head towards the wall. Ichiru watched him for a few minutes till he realised he was _listening _to something. _Fucking no manners, this man, _he pondered over his brother's choice for a mate, finding Kaname's distractibility quite frustrating.

"Fine," he shrugged, "_Ignore me_ then. It will win you no brother-in-law points, I can tell you-"

"Why is the battle still going?"

The question caught him so off-guard that Ichiru tutted.

"What do you mean?"

Kaname shook his head, reaching forwards to brush his fingertips against the wall that separated them from the battlefield. "I thought no one would still be alive," he turned to Ichiru, eyes strangely wet, "It's been _three days. _Vampire battles end much more quickly than Humans'. We tear the enemy apart within hours, and the survivors hunt out those remaining till only one victor is left. This battle should be over_,"_

Oh.

Ichiru scratched his head, cursing Lady for leaving him to explain everything, "Well actually, it's not,"

Kaname blinked slowly, tilting his head in question. _Fuck, _Ichiru thought viciously, _double fucking fuck. _

It wasn't even the biggest lie he'd been told - but Kaname had been lied to too many times already, and even if it hurt him in the process, Ichiru decided he deserved the truth. It was just another thing to add to the list of shitty things happening in Kaname's life. Ichiru only hoped he wouldn't decide to shoot the messenger.

But then, Kaname's annoyingly short attention span made a reappearance - but this time, Ichiru could tell that he was picking up on something truly terrible, if his face was anything to go by. Kaname's face fell -

"No," he choked out, staring off into the distance, much to Ichiru's confusion - "No!" he yelled, breaking into a run. But soon his legs failed him and he crashed into the ground, his hands pressing insistently against his wound as though he believed he could keep himself from bleeding out in this way.

"What is it, Kaname?" Ichiru asked, reaching down to help him up.

"I don't know - he's bleeding - I can smell it," Kaname moaned, scrambling to his feet.

"What - Zero? Zero's bleeding? Stop! You're going to hurt yourse-"

Kaname shook him off, "I don't care! I have to-" but then, even he must have realised that if he was struggling to even stand up, getting to Zero in time would nothing short of a miracle. He howled - the sound sent chills up Ichiru's spine. It was so like that of a lonesome wolf - a melancholy sound that drew tears to his eyes at sound of it. Then it sank in - _Zero was bleeding, badly enough that Kaname could smell it from whatever distance - _and then Kaname halted his lament and called for -"Seiren!"

A girl appeared out of nowhere before them - clothes torn and bleeding, fresh from the battlefield. The instant she laid eyes on Kaname, she dropped into a deep bow, and then came rushing to his side hurriedly. He shook her off, "Leave me! Bring Kain to me. When you return, you will stay with Ichiru, do you understand?"

She bowed again and disappeared as quickly as she'd come. Kaname closed his eyes and moaned, clutching his wounded chest, though Ichiru suspected he was hurting from someplace deeper than even his chest wound, because he was clawing at his chest desperately. He wanted to tell Kaname to stop - he would only hurt himself more - but perhaps this was Kaname's way of dealing with pain. He wanted to remove what was causing him pain - he wanted it out.

"Why am I... so _weak_?" he stuttered, cringing when Ichiru knelt and placed his hand on his shoulder in comfort, "Why can't I do anything?"

_Yeah, well how do you think I feel? _Ichiru wanted to answer, but he bit his tongue. Kaname was suffering enough, and that was all thanks to his mistake.

* * *

><p><strong><em>here is the deepest secret nobody knows<em>**  
><strong><em>(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud<em>**  
><strong><em>and the sky of the sky of a tree called life which grows<em>**  
><strong><em>higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)<em>**  
><strong><em>and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart<em>**

* * *

><p>He knew this place.<p>

He hadn't recognised it at first, covered with mist and trees - and for the fact that he was entering it from the back entrance, but the size and shape of the miniature temple - or mausoleum - was unmistakeable.

And the reason for it being the end-place of all things was fucking _poetic_.

_Of course_, Zero thought, walking up to the steps, _of course it would end here. It could end in no other place **but** here. _He almost forgot the reason that brought him here, lost in the quiet, beauty of the place. It was lovingly kept - by whom, no one knew - and he remembered so long ago, being brought here as a child to pay respects to the Honoured Mother of the Hunters. He'd always found it difficult to remain solemn when there was so much beauty to see in the place - the spiralling rose carvings in the walls, the way the cavernous space inside echoed everything (even the tiniest of whispers), and his favourite - the way the crystals in the ceiling scattered glittering light everywhere.

It was so lovingly built, so beautifully designed - dedicated to the person he'd been speaking to moments before.

It was just so…quiet.

Zero was glad there wasn't a door to make a noise as he entered the building, for he was holding his breath, hoping he wouldn't give himself away. Though nothing told him for certain that Rido was here, he trusted Lady's warning - he had to be here, somewhere.

He didn't have to look far.

Just ahead of him, a dark figure was bent over the altar of candles. He froze, petrified by the answer to all their questions revealed - _who kept the crypt clean, and the candles constantly lit all these years? _It was him. It had always been _him. _Just as Kaname had kept Isamu's resting place well-ordered and clean, Rido had done the same for… well, for _Katsuo's _own love.

Zero silently drew his dagger, creeping forwards.

Rido stepped to the side, going around the candles - he was blowing them out.

And at the same moment, the light overhead was obscured by clouds - and they were plunged into darkness.

Zero held his dagger close and stepped further into the darkness, knowing that to linger in the doorway would only make him more visible with the outdoor light spilling in. There was no direction he could move in that would make him safer, so he focused instead on using his ears and nose to locate Rido.

"So you have come then?"

Rido's voice came over from somewhere on his right. Zero turned in that direction, but remained silent.

"Why don't you speak?" the voice moved leftwards. Zero didn't know if he should be moving towards Rido or away from him anymore. His instincts were telling him to run away, but he knew he couldn't run forever. He lunged towards him, quick and light on his feet. He stabbed thin air. "Silence doesn't suit you, Kaname tells me," Rido remarked from behind him. He spun around, slashing. Nothing. "He loves the sound of your voice, you know. When you laugh, he gets shivers-"

"Shut up!"

Zero was surprised at how easily Rido had made him speak - but hearing Rido talk about Kaname in that patronising voice of his was something he couldn't stand.

Rido laughed, "Touchy, touchy. I'm telling you how _strong_ his love for you is! He loves you so, so much Zero-kun. With that sort of love, you can shift mountains-"

"Don't talk about him!" he snapped, whipping to slice the air in front of him.

"- you can defy all reason, and even break through the veil of death… do you know that he willingly sacrificed _all _his friends _and _his people - all of them for _you_? That takes guts - that takes devotion-"

The clouds dispersed and shimmering light trickled in again. Zero stuck to the few shadows left in the room, pressing himself in the corner. Like Rido, he didn't dare to show himself yet. He was trying to not let his taunting get to him, but it was getting harder and harder to remain calm. All these things he was saying were meant to get him riled up - he _knew _this… but they were _working_, which was the problem. They were _true._

"- to give up all that responsibility is very un-King-like. Quite rebellious, I daresay," Rido clicked his tongue in mock-disapproval, "But then again, what is a King without passion? Without love? He is full of anger, full of torment and misery, full of…"

Zero gasped as the next word was breathed into his ear.

"Desire,"

* * *

><p>He hadn't meant to, but stepping backwards put him back into the light.<p>

Immediately Zero realised his mistake and quickly darted back into the shadows, but as he did - Rido walked out into the lit up space, arms spread out in mocking invitation. He had a warm smile on his lips, but his eyes were hard and something else lingered there inside them - something almost like_ 'desire'_. If Zero didn't know any better, he'd say Rido was trying to seduce him!

"A wronged King - a _rightful _King - will never forget they who wronged him. His anger grows, his sadness grows, his…" he stepped towards him, arms beckoning, "…longing grows.

"Child, I want nothing more than to come to a peaceful agreement. There is no need for all this violence, all this… bloodshed - it is unnecessary. This whole problem can be resolved between you and me,"

"That's exactly why I'm here," Zero said before he could stop himself. Who was he kidding? Staying quiet was pointless. Rido was looking right at him, he could see him as easily in the dark as he could the light, so Zero stepped daringly forwards into the light, "To end this. You and me,"

"'_End this'_?" Rido mocked, circling to the left. Zero matched his movements, his eyes never leaving Rido's. "No, no - I never said I wanted to '_end this', _I said _resolve _this. Listen better to what I say,"

"And how do you suggest we do that? The only way I can see us resolving anything is with one of us dying," he gripped the dagger tightly, "Andit definitely won't be me,"

Zero didn't have time to _move_.

Rido curled his hand around his throat - and he was behind him, his other arm wound itself around Zero's middle, tugging him into his chest. Zero couldn't move, with Rido's clawed fingers resting against his throat, whenever he struggled it only made them dig in more, uncomfortably close to breaking skin.

His arms were trapped under Rido's vice grip, and the dagger tucked in his sleeve.

"I don't think death is necessarily our only option," Rido said, his breath buffeting Zero's cheek, much to his disgust. His claws raked across his neck to rest over his chest. Zero's doubts about seduction returned and he couldn't help but shiver in revulsion. Rido hummed thoughtfully, the deep purring noise vibrating against Zero's back - why did he have to be so _close_? To torment him, probably.

"Oh, I'm pretty sure it is," he replied tersely, but Rido only laughed at him.

He was released.

As soon as he was free to move, Zero spun around - but of course, Rido wasn't there. It was like he was a cat playing with a mouse. Zero was the mouse. He swore.

"There is a perfectly reasonable alternative," Rido told him - Zero's head whipped in his direction, but he quickly turned the other way when something rustled there, "And I think you will agree to it,"

"Go on then," Zero snapped, losing patience he gestured wildly with his hand, "Tell me!"

Rido emerged slowly - first only the hem of his frayed robes catching the light in the gold thread, then his body slowly came into view. The iridescent light gave him an ironically divine glow, and his mismatched eyes were like jewels glinting at him.

"I propose an exchange of sorts," he held out his hand in offering to Zero, "You, for him,"

Whatever noise escaped him, it was a mixture of utter astonishment and revulsion because - were his ears deceiving him, or was he suggesting -

"Do you mean," Zero stammered, the sickening feeling pooling in his stomach at the thought, "That you're asking for-"

"I am proposing that, in your _best interests, _you would choose to offer your life for his. I am Kaname's Master. You know that even if Kaname does eventually decide to show up, killing him will be all too easy - _but_," Zero had glared at him for this, "_But_, I will be willing to let him go freely if you will take his place. Think about it - what decision is wisest? I mean - if you actually take into account that I could easily kill _both _of you without even trying, then you'd realise how generous my offer is. You'd be saving your lover, Zero-kun, and as an added bonus you'd also be allowed to live,"

"Yeah, but what… what would you want from me?"

Rido stepped closer to him, his movements sinuous and eyes again full of that strange heat. As he prowled closer, Zero held his ground, his fingers curling tighter around the dagger hilt. Maybe if he came close enough, he could...

But then he thought it was probably _not a good idea_ when Rido reached out and grabbed his chin, his fingers weren't what made Zero falter - it was his claws, how they scraped over his jaw and caught the edge of his bottom lip. His eyes fluttered shut as his stomach protested at this nauseating treatment. Already, in such a short time, his body belonged to _Kaname. _Anyone else who touched him felt wrong, felt… _unbearable_. That it was _Rido_ doing this made it even worse. Zero yanked himself away when it got too much, and faced pointedly away from Rido.

Again, the bastard laughed.

"You are so _like _her,"

His eyes snapped open.

Oh _fuck_ no.

"Not only in looks, but in the way you act," Rido grabbed his cheeks this time in one hand, squeezing Zero's face till he could feel his teeth gnashing against them, and he forced Zero to face him again, "At first I thought Yuuki would do, but she's not quite right. But you even _smell_ of her. You smell of _him _too - but that's simply because you feed from him, I suppose," he remarked, caressing Zero's stomach, "...but her blood, it flows through your veins. Yes… I think you'll do nicely-"

"No fucking way!_"_ Zero smashed his fists into Rido's jaw, throwing him back a couple of feet. When he looked up at Rido, he realised that both of his eyes were red - so, this was Katsuo speaking then? "_You sick fuck!"_ he couldn't think of the right words to describe how disgusted he was. "You're insane! You're completely insane-"

The next thing he knew, he was being crushed against the wall, Katsuo breathing down his neck. Panting moist breath into his ear and sniffing him like a dog. Zero grunted, trying to shove him away. Katsuo squeezed his wrists so tightly he dropped the dagger in his shock, and he could barely hear it clatter over the roaring of blood in his ears - then both his arms were held in a vice grip against his back. He twisted his head the other way to _not_ have to face Katsuo's impassioned expression, his growing nausea making him gag when Katsuo's lips brushed his ear.

"Am I really?" he muttered, nuzzling the shell of his ear and then behind it, "You… you smell of fear, and yet - there is no fear in your eyes. She was the same - she never showed me an ounce of weakness. You are more like her than anyone I've ever seen. It's only right, you see - after all, Kaname took her from me… so it's only fair that I take you…"

Zero could feel him licking a stripe down his ear to his neck - and then he really began to _panic. _His struggling was reduced to twitches and grunts by Katsuo's restricting hold, and Zero cursed himself - _Why didn't I stab him before? Why did I let him fucking talk to me instead like a villain from the movies? Fucking. Stupid. Move. _Because then he started to feel the sharp rake of teeth over his neck, and he began to buck and kick and even _beg _in earnest - because this wasn't the way it was supposed to go. Not again -

"I remember the last time Kaname had the pleasure of tasting your lifeblood. I wonder how it will taste," he chuckled, "I wonder what he will think, when he realised he missed out on this wonderful opportunity,"

Zero strained, gasping as one fang caught on him, the tiniest bit of blood welling up from the cut.

"Will you be sweet, or will you taste of the dirty mixed blood that you are?" Rido's tongue swiped out, licking up the trail of blood. "Hmm, sweet. I guessed wrong,"

"S-Stop!" he hissed, tears of anger filling his eyes. Unlike when Kaname had Bitten him - lovingly (he bizarrely enough could describe it) and gently - Rido's fangs tore into him without mercy.

Zero didn't make a noise as he was savaged - the shock was bad enough that he couldn't _breathe - _Katsuo wasn't just feeding from him, he was bleeding him out. He Bit again and again, ripping his neck to shreds with each vicious attack - Zero's front was soon completely drenched from the downpour of blood running down his neck. He trembled as the memories of his childhood nightmare were brought back with a vengeance - every bad memory of pain and suffering in his life combined were barely comparable to this.

Just when he thought he might lose consciousness, Zero's eyes reopened when Katsuo started gagging.

Hot blood was spat at the back of his neck - it appeared that Rido was choking on his blood. Maybe he'd swallowed too fast and it had gone down the wrong way - but for whatever reason, he was more concerned about hacking the blood out of his lungs than holding Zero anymore, so Zero fell backwards. He would have seized the chance to stab him with the Weapon, were it not for the fact that he was barely functioning on his remaining lifeblood, and the room was swimming around him - and the dagger had fallen out of his hand and landed somewhere else.

He barely managed to steady himself with one bloody hand on the wall, the other tenderly touched around his throat to feel how bad the damage was. He could feel something hard under the slick wetness of his blood, and gagged when he realised it was the outside of his windpipe. He slid down against the wall. _This is the end then_, he thought wearily, _I failed. _He was too stupid to not kill Rido when he should have, and now - he was too weak to even get back up.

The dagger was _right there. _He could see it - lying there, a few feet away from him.

"…you!"

Zero struggled to lift his head, but when he saw Rido, he almost laughed.

Where he'd only moments ago been gorging on Zero's blood, taking _great_ pleasure in it - now he was leaning against the wall, much like Zero was - and clutching his throat. Something was dripping from his lips - under closer inspection he saw that it was a black and viscous, and when he looked up at Rido's eyes they were full of pain and rage.

"What did… you do to me?" he sputtered, staggering towards Zero.

He couldn't move if he tried, feeling weaker and weaker by the minute. He simply stared up at Katsuo and smiled.

Katsuo paused, heaving a wet breath and spitting out more black stuff, he gagged again and wiped his mouth.

"What is this? _What did you do to me?"_

Zero really didn't know what he had done except get fed on, but it hadn't been his idea in any case. His blood, it seemed, was what was making him be sick. The black liquid was even running out of the corner of his eyes like tears now, and his ears - every orifice, it seemed. Zero had to laugh - slumped on the floor - at the irony of how badly their plans had failed - and yet, he could die happy knowing at least that Katsuo would die too_._

"Guess… my _dirty mixed blood… _was too much for you," he sneered, throwing his head back in a burbling laugh when Katsuo let out an incensed roar.

Zero saw something at the corner of his eye. At first he thought it was a shadow moving towards him -

He twisted around to face the wall and gaped at what he saw.

All the time he'd been leaning against it, he'd thought that the reason for him feeling weaker and weaker was just a result of him bleeding out - he hadn't realised he was still being leeched of blood by _another_ source.

Zero tilted his head back, eyes trailing the carvings of roses that spanned the entire height and width of the wall. Where his hands were pressed against the wall - the vines were already saturated with blood, and they stretched out higher and wider across the whole wall, looming high above him - Zero couldn't understand how it was happening - or _why _it was happening. His blood crawled through the network, bringing the entire mass of thorny vines into relief - and then, he watched the top-most vines start to peel away from the wall.

They cascaded down the side of the wall, raining down like a waterfall, slithering through the air like thousands of tiny red snakes. Once they reached the floor, they slid across it - Zero jerked away in alarm as one brushed past him, but the thorns didn't hurt him at all, and when he tried to move away from them his hands were _stuck. _He was the source of them, he realised, and if his blood was making these things… he couldn't break away from them or they would cease to exist.

Katsuo was still busy spitting out the seemingly endless amounts of black liquid, so he didn't notice a thing, and when he finally saw them it was too late.

The vines swarmed him, pouncing on him from a thousand different places - and it seemed that the thorns _did _hurt him if his anguished yells were anything to go by. Zero watched the gruesome sight in pure horror as the cage of thorns tightened around Katsuo like a cocoon, pulsing like a boa constrictor around him to entrench themselves ever deeper into his skin. Katsuo tore at them, breaking a few vines each time, but others simply grew in their place. Zero didn't know where the vines had come, nor what was controlling them, but _damn_. It was a good intervention.

He shifted, still aware that his hands were stuck on the wall, but then… they were not stuck to it anymore.

He pulled his hands away and he stared at them in awe.

Katsuo let out another wail, drawing his attention back to the Pureblood squirming on the floor. He caught a flash of blue in the melee and fleetingly wondered what it was, but as Zero stood there with his hands held upright, dripping blood everywhere, he realised that the vines Katsuo ripped away exploded into spatters of blood. They don't grow back.

That was because he wasn't supplying them with his blood anymore, he realised, and with that knowledge, he figured it wouldn't be long before Katsuo was free of his thorny cage. Despite being close to death - Zero reckoned that this was his one opportunity to turn things around - and with every last drop of strength in his body, he would make things right.

The lighting in the room flickered and swayed, and the chiming sounds turned Zero's eyes up to the ceiling, where the crystals were rattling in their settings. They hung together like a huge chandelier, but right now they were moving from unknown forces. Zero stared at them warily for a couple of seconds before Katsuo let out another roar, reminding him that time was short - he had to get to the dagger. Having lost so much blood, the room swayed with every step he took, and he had to blink away black spots in his vision.

Zero staggered towards the dagger. Swiping it from the ground, he almost collapsed as his stomach turned, the dizziness wrecking his vision and then he heard a _scream _and an deafening crash -

And he turned towards Katsuo, to his surprise, finding him embedded with the crystals. The crystals had fallen down from the ceiling - raining down on him point-first. If this was Lady's intervention, Zero was eternally grateful - because by then Katsuo could do no more than stare at Zero - eyes widened in disbelief as Zero stumbled towards him. Shards of crystal stuck out of every limb, his back and the rest of his body. He stared up at him with one red eye and one blue eye - it was Rido again who - for the first time ever, looking afraid.

Zero dropped down beside Katsuo, he pressed the dagger to his throat.

"Any… last words?" he croaked, challenging him with a smile - all his focus was on keeping the dagger pressed to Rido's jaw and not letting his hand tremble in the slightest. He wouldn't be seen as weak, especially not in Rido's last moments.

Rido spat out some more black stuff and then cracked a smile, his teeth stained black, "Nothing changes," he whispered, his breath rattling in his chest, "You still... will _die,"_

Zero knew that what he said was true. The wounds in his throat were still gushing blood, and he was fighting for each breath. He was unbearably cold and yet numb to the pain he should feel, and the colours around him were fading out to duller hues. He couldn't hope to survive this, and yet - he accepted it.

"Yeah, well," he muttered, turning the point of the dagger to dig into Rido's chest, "So will you,"

He slid the dagger through his heart.

The vines dispersed into the simple blood they were made of, splashing around him into puddles. Zero watched the grey film form over Rido's lifeless eyes and his final breath sputter out of his mouth. His body endured for a few more minutes before it started to crumble away , tiny crystals eating away at his extremities, until his whole body shattered. Zero couldn't tell which crystals were from Rido - or Katsuo - or which were Lady's, but he thought - perhaps that was a good thing.

He was so tired, but at the same time, he was so _relieved. _He had been afraid for so long. Afraid of failure, afraid of pain and death and losing and _dying -_

But in the end, there was nothing to be afraid of.

He hadn't failed, he didn't hurt, and dying was so much like falling asleep.

And Zero had lost nothing, for all of this - was made a willing sacrifice, and everything was worth it, especially knowing that somewhere out there - Kaname was no longer bound to a Master - he was finally _free_...

* * *

><p><em><strong>i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)<strong>_

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><p>By the time they reached the temple, Zero was already cold.<p>

It wasn't like in books or movies where they arrived in time to save him - his skin was tinged with blue and his eyes were dull, and Kain couldn't look at him because he felt that it was his fault that they had arrived so late_. _During the journey to the temple, Kaname at one point had tensed up so suddenly in Kain's arms that he thought he was having a fit. He'd let out a sob, but then urged Kain on faster, which he had obeyed without question.

But still, they were far too late.

When they arrived at the temple, they had been amazed to see it completely covered in a dense layer of vines and dark miniature roses. Kain didn't know what the significance of them were, but Kaname demanded to be let down and immediately ran his hands over the tiny flowers, his chest heaving with restrained sobs as he muttered "No, no..." over and over again. It took some coaxing for him to move on, but when then entered the inner chamber it was even worse. There were crystals scattered everywhere and pools of blood that connected everything together in dark red ribbons. The dagger was stuck straight through one of the larger crystals.

Kain knew that these were the remains of their enemy, and he should be glad to see the evidence that he was dead - but the sight of it was still somewhat chilling.

Kaname tried to remove Zero's hands from his throat, but they were stiff and wouldnt move, so he cupped his face in both hands instead and bowed his head. He called his name softly again and again until he was hoarse, but he knew that nothing would bring him back. Eventually he fell silent (but Kain could see his lips still moving though they made no sound). He didn't know how long they stayed there, but eventually Kaname must have realised that to wait for his mourning to pass would mean they would never leave, so he looked up at Kain with tears streaking his face.

"We must take him back," he said, "Take him… take him back to the Castle. I will come when I am ready,"

He hesitated in bringing himself closer to Zero - wary that Kaname would lash out at him if he found him lacking in respect - but Kaname was staring at one of the puddles of blood, not at him. He had never seen him so defeated, but when he tried to imagine _Aidou _in Zero's place, he thought he might understand how he felt, and that he would want to be alone - so he carefully scooped Zero up in his arms and took a moment to stare down at this boy who had stolen the heart of the King and then had broken it. He was smiling.

To think that the boy best known around the Academy for always looking so angry at the world had died _smiling…_ he had to wonder what Zero had been thinking about to make him smile like that. Zero was abnormally light in his arms, and nothing about him was soft - his flesh and skin and bone seemed to have hardened to cold granite. Kain held him with one arm and closed his eyes - _rest in peace, Kiryuu -_

"Did you not hear me, Kain?"

Kain jumped at the sharpness of Kaname's tone, instinctively squeezing Zero tighter to him.

"I said _go!"_

Kain sighed, and started to walk out of the small room -

And then he stopped.

He stared down at Zero in disbelief. Wait, did he just -

"Um, Kaname…?"

* * *

><p><strong>With Sacrifice comes Power.<strong>

**With Power comes Awareness.**

**With Awareness comes Compassion.**

**With Compassion comes Sacrifice.**

**_~ unknown source_**

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><p><strong><em>~ Poem by E. E. Cummings<em>**

**One chapter left to go guys!**


	100. A Sanguine Moon

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**Hey guys - so, we've finally reached the long-awaited end!**

**My holidays only began a week ago so I only started writing this then - been super busy at school, AND - you know what? My laptop is dying. **_**Dying. **_**I'm not even exaggerating, the "E, A, S, P and R" buttons on the keyboard get stuck easily and have to be punched to work, so that took literally made me take double the time to type! I'm afraid I haven't been able to avoid writing a cheesy ending, but frankly I think the characters deserve some schmoopy fluff after all that I've put them through! **

**I have a rough plan of what the sequel will be about, but before embarking on that - I think I might dabble in a few other fandoms to replenish my ideas. Hopefully a few of you will try reading some of these too, but if you don't and you have to wait till the sequel to read my stuff again - let me say a big thank you while you're still here for joining me on this epic adventure. I never thought I'd write so much, or write one story for so long! **

**Though I try not to bore you too much about my personal life, I would like you to know that **_**honestly **_**- I have benefited so much from your feedback. I've never been a very confident person, and in these past couple of years I've had a lot more downs than ups. It's been a constant battle against a seemingly never-ending stream of bad news and more bad news, and sometimes I found myself stuck in a really dark place - (forgive me for being over-dramatic, but I am an artist after all) and just having somewhere to go where I could escape from it all and create something that people could enjoy was so uplifting. **

**To those who have criticised me -****you take credit for making me stronger and keeping my feet on the ground. Yes, I have been over-sensitive and it has hurt me at times, but I have come out with a much thicker skin in the end, and with the career I have in mind, that is very important - so thank you.**

**Every time I write in my notes - "thank you for waiting" - and I mean it - you are so patient. Thank you for reading, waiting and replying! I can't tell you exactly when the sequel will be written, but hopefully in a couple months I may start it (if I'm being optimistic - it depends on exams). **

**Okay then… off we go!**

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><p><em><strong>"To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you." <strong>_

**~ Lewis B. Smedes**

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><p>He'd been standing there for god knows how long and still - he had no idea what he was actually supposed to be doing.<p>

He was waiting for the big show to start and yet part of him already knew that this was _it_. There was nothing more for him but _this_, and if he kept waiting for something else to happen he'd be waiting forever. Zero stared into the bleak, unfamiliar landscape with a deep scowl carved into his face and a dull ache in his chest.

When Zero tried to remember what his life had been … he found that he just _couldn't_ - and no matter how hard he tried, all he remembered was that his name was Zero and that was _it_.

Bizarrely enough, he knew _how_ he had died - it was by a simple process of elimination. With the pain in his chest he naturally thought - heart attack, heart failure, suffocation - something that would relate to the pain he felt every time he breathed. But none of those fit - the ache in his chest remained a mystery - for when he peeled back his skin and flesh and cracked open one side of his ribcage he found his heart was still there and in perfect condition. It didn't beat - he _was _dead, after all - but it was a healthy and intact heart nonetheless.

Zero kept searching for what killed him, and only when his fingertips caught the raw edges of a terrible wound on his neck did he find it. There was no way anyone would survive something like that - he wondered if it had been a bear attack or something, but then reasoned that a bear wouldn't leave the rest of him intact. No, when he poked around the wound, he reckoned the size of the teeth marks would fit a man's.

And then a dizzying wave of memories crashed over him like the sea filling his lungs - he remembered how he died - his heartbeat puttered out like a flame, his breath rattled to a whisper and everything around him blurred and slowed to a stop till he was in complete darkness.

When he next opened his eyes he found himself lying flat on the ground staring up at a ceiling with holes gouged into it - the image coaxed wisps of a memory back to him, but they flickered by too quickly and he could not piece them together fast enough for them to make any sense. _Mist. Vines. Anger. Something shiny on the floor -_

He turned his attention to the star-studded night sky he could see peeking through the ceiling - and he realised that this had to be the last thing he saw as he was dying - he couldn't move his head, and was left watching the change between morning and night as the Sun rose and the stars begin to fade.

But just as the sky began to become rosy his vision began to dim.

And the ceiling faded out too - and he was left with a pale blue sky with no Sun and not a cloud in sight.

So - this was death.

He'd expected… he didn't know what he'd expected, but standing in a wasteland where nothing was too extreme and everything was so _plain _was not what he'd expected_._ He was _bored. _His hand kept drifting back to his chest where the ache emanated. It throbbed under his touch and he would try to stop, but it was like an itch he just had to scratch, and soon enough he'd be prodding it again.

For some reason it intrigued him.

Maybe it was because it was the only thing he could feel. Not knowing how else to describe it, it was between wanting and _needing. _Zero didn't know what he yearned for, but he wanted something badly - he _needed -_

"Zero?"

The voice came from seemingly nowhere - but then he saw a figure in the distance. He squinted to see better, and even though he couldn't possibly compare her with anyone else, he could honestly say she was the loveliest woman he had ever seen - pale as moonlight with a stunning (if slightly shaky) smile. He knew that it was rude to stare, but it was unusual for a person as young as her to have white hair and -

The sight of her triggered something and he suddenly remembered that _he _had white hair and pale skin too. The more he stared at her, the more Zero got the feeling that he _knew _her - and clearly since she had just called out his name, she definitely knew him.

"You are… not at peace,"

Maybe that was the ache explained to him - maybe he longed for peace. It made sense.

_It would seem so._

"But I don't understand - we won," the woman insisted, though truth be told - she didn't look very satisfied by whatever this victory was either. In fact, under closer inspection Zero could see her eyes were red-rimmed and she looked very tired, "You should be happy," she added, but then -

She jerked backwards a whole step - much to his surprise.

"You don't… _remember_?" she asked hesitantly. He shook his head uncertainly. She recoiled again and started muttering under her breath - "How… I don't understand… " then Zero watched her pause, her face twisting as she apparently strained to work out his problem_._ He saw the same frustration in her eyes as he felt himself when she came up with nothing.

"Oh Zero…" she closed her eyes dejectedly, "…even after all that you have done, you don't know that you're a hero,"

A… a _hero_? He floundered at the thought - _really? Me?_

He clutched his chest. For some reason, the word 'hero' didn't sound like praise to him.

If anything, it made him want to hide.

…so what then? He was a hero - big deal. A dead hero. What was so great about that_? Lots of people die, even… even __**heroes **__eventually have to die_. It was nothing really to cry over.

To his horror, she began to cry.

"It wasn't meant to end like this," she sobbed, "You were meant to remember_. _At the very least, you were supposed to _remember _what you had done - what you sacrificed for the world. You've saved _everyone_, Zero,"

'_You're a hero' - _again the words blazed through him - he couldn't understand the _guilt _that followed, only that it was tied to something important in his past - something he was hesitant to investigate further, yet something he knew he had to find out. Somehow he could sense that learning more about his past would only bring him more pain. He couldn't have sacrificed without suffering.

"But for a terrible price - you made a great sacrifice, Zero - one that forced you to lose the person you loved the most,"

That was the unlikeliest sacrifice he would have ever thought up for himself, just because it made such little sense. Even though he didn't know much about himself, Zero guessed that he was a rather difficult person to love - that love didn't come naturally or easily to him. Whoever he had 'lost' … _had_ to have been someone pretty special to have loved him. And now they were _gone_.

Zero scowled at her, even though it wasn't her fault that _she_ remembered everything, he needed someone to blame for the fact that he had forgotten so much - he'd even managed forgotten the person he'd _loved_.

_Who __**are**__ you?_

She finally smiled at him, "Someone who loves you," but she quickly blurted out - "But not the one you lost,"

And try as he may, he simply could not picture the person he could have fall in love with. They were as elusive to him as a shadow. Apparently he had been thinking about them too long, because she soon cut into his thoughts.

"It will only cause you more pain if you dwell on it - let it go. You have to move on now, Zero,"

Even though there was nothing more that he wanted to do than that, he knew that he couldn't. Not yet, at least. _How can I move on… when there's nothing to move on from? At least give me their name, _he insisted, _It will help me_. She shook her head apologetically - and just like that, Zero knew nothing would get an answer out of her. He would've taken his anger out on her - if only he wasn't so afraid of being left all alone again - so he swallowed it.

_But _how_ do I move on?_

She shot him a rather bemused look, "You… you just have to follow the crowd," she answered slowly, as though he was hard of hearing. Zero spread his arms out in a slow shrug.

_What crowd?_

Her face drained of colour, "What do you mean '_what crowd'_? Don't you see them?"

_No, there's only us._ He did a full one-eighty check but as he'd previously said -_ just us._

"What do you mean 'just us'?" she almost squawked, "Your family are supposed to be here _waiting for you. _Your mother, your father - aren't they here? Can't you see them?"

Zero sort of wanted to smack her for that - because what a way to break the news to him - if he'd been under the false assumption that his parents were alive, that was all shattered now. He shook his head roughly. _Just us. _

She sort of… gaped at Zero for a few minutes.

"…um, well…" she frowned, "I don't… I don't know,"

Zero stared at her.

_You don't. Know?_

She shrugged, "I don't know!" she waved her hands around helplessly, "They _should _be here. There's no reason for them not to be," she paused, "Unless -"

"Excuse me?"

They both turned around - behind the woman, a young man had appeared out of nowhere. He looked just as out of place as Zero felt, his eyes flitting around as though he was looking for more. The woman smiled and went to the newcomer, clearly thankful for his interruption.

"I've been waiting for you," she said softly. Zero fought an irrational burst of jealousy from hearing her say that - oddly disappointed that she'd been waiting for this guy all along and came across him by chance. He watched her embrace him tenderly. The boy looked confused by her familiarity, but accepted it nonetheless.

"You were?" he asked uncertainly. His bright blue eyes swept around them again, "Is there no one else here, or is it just us?"

At first Zero was indignant - this boy who had come out of nowhere and stolen this woman's attention had the _audacity _to complain that her company was insufficient? How dare he - especially when Zero would be content to have even one person waiting for him.

But then - he noticed that the boy's eyes passed through him with each turn - and he realised he didn't _see_ him. The boy thought it was just himself and the woman, _he didn't know Zero was there._

What the hell was going on?

"Where's my mom?" the boy continued, his voice trembling - much to Zero's confusion. Why did he almost sound afraid?

The woman's smile softened further as she reached out to stroke some hair from his face, "You're fine. She can't reach you here," he nodded, his whole body visibly relaxing at this information.

"-nd my… my father? Is he here too?"

"No, he's gone. People like him don't end up here," the woman said, "It's just us," her eyes flitted towards Zero briefly_._

Zero was so, so confused.

So basically, what she was saying was - the boy's mother and father were dead, _Zero's _mother and father were dead too - but she knew where the boy's parents were, and why they weren't with him - but as for Zero… she had no idea why where his parents were or why he was alone_._

"We have somewhere we need to be actually, so we'd best get a move on whilst life is still fresh in your mind," she almost imperceptibly tilted her head towards Zero, "Those who linger tend to forget. It does not do to dwell on the past,"

The boy's face scrunched up, "So we have to go right _now_?"

"Yes," the woman glanced at Zero again, thoughtfully this time, as though she was trying to think of a way to tell him something, "That would be best. Take my hand,"

He did so, and then she began to lead him away. Zero was completely aghast by her sudden decision to leave him behind - what was he supposed to do now?

"…rmally someone as young as you will have their loved ones to take them away, but special cases such as yourself exist. It just means that we have to find you your own waiting place-"

He could still hear them chatting as they walked away, and then he understood what her little glance had meant - it was an invitation for him to follow (or at least he was gonna interpret it that way).

"Maybe… maybe I wasn't loved by anyone else. Could that be why I am alone?"

She wrapped an arm around his shoulders, "Don't be silly. The one you love hasn't passed yet, which is why we will find a place for you to wait for them. They will come eventually-"

"But will I remember them?" he grasped her hand, forehead creased in worry, "Already I… I can only remember that… he looked so sad. He didn't get to me in time…"

"When you are reunited you will remember the love you had together," she promised him, carefully turning them back onto their path.

Zero had stopped walking, halted by her words.

Was she still talking to him too? Did that mean he would be reunited with his lost love eventually and he only had to wait? Was _this _his waiting place? Was that why she was leaving him?

"And on you will go," she continued, "Everyone must find their own way out of here, but that is more easily done with loved ones by your side,"

So you _could _technically leave this place by yourself - and she had told Zero to move on before, suggesting he didn't have to wait… Zero looked around, seeing no obvious exit in their surroundings, only… a path. He was standing on the path - had been for some time - but it was barely more than a dirt track, and it lead all the way up a hill, and then he could see no more of it. Was _that_ his way out?

A sudden flare of panic hit Zero as he glanced back at the other two and spotted them already a distance away. _Wait!_ he called desperately, hoping the woman at least would listen to him. She did stop, and turned to him slowly.

_Give me their name, _he pleaded, hoping she would. If what she had said before was true, perhaps if he remembered a bit of his loved one - of the love they shared - he could move on more easily. Her own logic defeated her, since apparently she seemed to realise this, and she finally nodded in defeat.

"Kaname,"

At first all Zero could take in was how smoothly the name rolled off her tongue, but then it slipped into the hole in his chest and he couldn't help but gasp as it filled him like a breath of startlingly cold air. A maelstrom of different scenes flooded his mind, each one blazing with some raw emotion - _anger, joy, fear, jealousy, desire - _Zero saw himself as a child, he saw a mountain, a castle, a knife -

Darkness. Cold darkness - this memory came as the biggest shock to him - it was a dirty, cold shack (easily one of the ugliest places he had ever seen) and yet… he was warm, warm like a fire had been lit inside him and it was bright and soothing. There was something wild and passionate hidden in the fire that made the flames dance and his skin prickle with _want_. He felt like something beautiful - something _precious_ and loved.

There were dark memories - ones he couldn't imagine himself having - of wanting to kill his beloved, of wishing him ill and wanting him to suffer. Those were heavy ones that almost brought him to his knees - they circled his mind like hungry sharks and ate at his sanity - he saw himself battling with an ancient hate and a new-found love.

The brightest of his memories were the rarest - they were so few and so short that Zero wondered how he could have lived through so much pain only to find such meagre happiness - but that was the point, wasn't it? The scarcity of these memories made them even more precious - like a candle flame burning in the dark - they were treasures to be found. They were worth _everything_ -

Then - without knowing how he got there - Zero found himself a hundred yards from where he had been standing a split second ago, at the top of the hill looking down at his shadow which brushed the toes of the red-haired boy. The woman wasn't there anymore - in her place was a white horse which chuffed at the boy, coaxing him onto its back. Zero watched the two of them prepare to ride off, when it hit him - if they still had a choice to move on to death or go back to life - this had to be some kind of purgatory. They weren't dead or living _yet, _and if he was heading off one way towards the _living, _and they were riding the other way -

He cupped his hands around his mouth.

"Wait!" he shouted, but he must have been too far away, because the boy was climbing onto the horse and hadn't heard him. Zero sucked in another huge breath, but felt something tugging at him - something pulling him from behind. He realised belatedly that he hadn't even looked over the hill to where he was going since he was busy trying to gain the boy's attention.

The thing pulling him away grew stronger, to the point of being painful - but just as a yelp tore out of his throat, he saw the boy twist around - fear and realisation clear on his face. He reached out a hand towards Zero and his mouth opened as he yelled something. It was the last thing Zero saw before he lost his footing and fell backwards out of sight.

* * *

><p>The falling didn't last forever - in fact, it was almost as quick as tripping - there was the devastating feeling of losing his balance but then, instead of catching himself like he normally would have, Zero felt the impact of the 'ground' all too well. He woke feeling more dead than when he was dead (or near death) - and everything down to the last hair follicle hurt. He felt like he could sleep for years and years and still not have rested enough, and the room was freezing - but the sort of cold an AC generated - the air tasted stale.<p>

Zero's first movement involved a finger twitch, and then he let out the quietest of groans, hoping it was enough for someone to notice. He needn't have worried - in a flash he was accosted by someone's weight and a wild cacophony of elated noises that frightened him because it was _too much too soon _from the silence he had endured_. _

"-et off him, what's the matter with you?!"

"Oh god! I'm so sorry Zero -"

He felt the person on top of him shifting around in an attempt to get off him - and felt it even more so when they slipped on the bedsheet and their knee slammed right into his -

"Whoops!"

"Fuck, Ichiru! Get the fuck off of him _now_, you dumbass!"

Ichiru finally scrambled off the bed, due care given this time to extracting his limbs from Zero's without causing more damage than he already had. Zero didn't even need to have his eyes open to know exactly the expression on his brother's face, and that he was likely backing away into a corner like a kicked puppy. If he wasn't in pain before, he certainly was _now_ - the same crippling pain every guy underwent after being slammed in the gonads. From the sounds of people sucking in sympathetic breaths, he deduced that his other visitors were all male and that there were four of them in total.

There was a collective pause as they all held their breaths, no doubt seeing if he would react to the abuse.

If he _could _move he'd be rolling around in pain, cursing his brother's existence, but for some reason he couldn't move. His previous finger-wiggle had taken _all_ his effort and energy. Now, all he could do was lie there in agony, bemoaning the fact that for all he knew, he could be medically classed as female now.

"Well, he doesn't… _seem _to be in any pain," came Ichiru's hesitant voice.

"That's cos he's in a freakin' _coma, _asshole. I bet he's gonna be surprised when he wakes up as a _girl_," that was _definitely_ Kaito_. _

"What made you jump on him like that? Are your cogs loose, boy? You might have very well broken his ribs!" Yagari roared from his left side.

"Or his dick-"

"_Enough_!" Kaien barked from further away. Kaito yelped after a resounding _thwack _echoed around the room. Zero tensed in surprise, not used to him sounding so pissed, nor expecting the Headmaster to be there at all - the last time he'd seen him he'd been badly injured. He wondered how he was now - the sound of him moving towards the bed came in steady footsteps, much to Zero's relief. He felt the mattress dip and a cool, familiar hand on his forehead.

Zero wanted to laugh, because despite everything that had happened he realised that these four people - his _family - _would always stay the same. Kaito would always be a crass bastard, Ichiru would always be a klutz, Yagari would always disguise caring with insults, and Kaien would always mother-hen him (even if he wasn't 'awake' to witness it). His chest suddenly felt too tight, and though he tried to ignore warm fuzzy feelings were taking over him, Zero relaxed in the safety of their company. His groin throbbed like he'd been castrated with a spoon, but he somehow managed to summon enough generosity to forgive Ichiru for his enthusiasm.

"Should we check?"

Again - Kaito broke the lull in conversation Zero hadn't been paying attention to. He realised, with some trepidation, that somehow his bed covers had been removed without him realising it and he was uncomfortably aware that he was wearing nothing but a hospital gown. He was concerned about this because it was _Kaito _who had voiced the question - and he wanted to check -

What did he want to check?

"Maybe we _should_," he heard Kaien say, "Just in case you know… in case you _ruined_ anything, Ichiru,"

No.

_No._

No they _weren't _checking that. They weren't going to check his -

Before he could summon the right amount of horror for what was about to happen, someone flipped up his gown and Zero could feel eyes on parts of him that they _should never be on such display. _He could practically feel their eyes judging him, and cringed when Kaito made a particularly impressed sound. All those fuzzy feelings from before shrivelled into a mass of indomitable **wrath** - Zero was _going to kill them. _

"Well… there's still two-"

"- kinda… bruised but not swollen,"

…but even though he was completely and utterly mortified by this whole ordeal, Zero had to admit he was sort of glad to hear the damage wasn't all as bad as it felt.

"Why did you jump on him anyway?"

"I saw him move!" Ichiru exclaimed, though he seemed to be having trouble convincing the older Hunters, since Zero could sense they were beating him down with their blatant stares of disbelief. "His finger twitched - I'm telling you!"

"So you thought suffocating him was the best way to welcome him back to the living? Baka!" there was the clear sound of Yagari whacking Ichiru and him whining. "I bet you imagined it anyway - he's in a _coma_, Ichiru. It was probably just a muscle spasm. He's not awake,"

"Man, can you imagine how awkward it would be if he was though?" Kaito asked gleefully (the bastard). But then he burst out laughing, and much to Zero's horror, he yelled, "Shit - he _is_! He's awake - look - he's blushing!"

There was another pregnant pause, in which Zero was plotting Kaito's slow, painful demise, because to add insult to injury - his blush refused to cool off. _Goddamn it!_ He didn't know if he would prefer passing out just to escape this torture or dying -

"Maybe we should get Kaname to kiss it bette-"

_Die. _He wanted to _die._

* * *

><p>They didn't get Kaname to <em>kiss<em> it better, but they did fetch him.

At the sound of Kaname's shoes squeaking and skidding on the polished floor as he turned the corner, Zero also heard his fellow Hunters make various sounds of disgruntlement and exasperation as they got shoved out of the way, and then the click of the door closing signalled them leaving, and then it went completely silent aside from Kaname's gasping breaths.

Even that quietened down, and then it was truly as silent as the grave. Zero didn't know how all the excitement rushing through him wasn't upping his heartbeat on the monitor - because he felt like he would literally _explode_ in excitementat any second_. _He eagerly awaited Kaname's voice, or his touch or _something - _it felt like he hadn't seen him in years and _years_… but then Zero's previous excitement was quickly snuffed out as doubt began to set in. What was the matter? What was taking so long? Why was Kaname staying away from him?

He strained his ears, even attempted to lift one eyelid to see what was going on, but there was nothing to hear and his eyes were glued shut.

Kaname was still at the door.

Zero grew restless as his patience dwindled.

There was literally nothing he could do but wait for Kaname to make the next move - and though he tried to convince himself that Kaname was probably just checking his medical record in that painstakingly thorough way he analysed paperwork, or he might be stopped in his tracks - aghast by the sight of his beaten up body… or he could be waiting for the doctor's permission to enter his room -

Who was he kidding? Each excuse was less likely than the last because Kaname never beat around the bush - when he wanted to be somewhere he'd _be there _in a flash - much like how he'd zoomed into the room with the speed and care of a hurricane. There was no stopping, nor even _delaying _him in reaching his goal.

But now there was something was holding Kaname back.

And the only reason he could think of for that was that - he didn't want to be with… with _him_.

The _betrayal_ - how could he have forgotten? It was no doubt still fresh in his mind - the cruelty of his cold-hearted abandonment, the knowledge that he hadn't been important enough to Zero in the scheme of things - he didn't even want to know if Kaname forgave him because _he _didn't forgive himself. He didn't deserve Kaname, and the part of him that knew this bet on the fact that Kaname must have left him already - after not even having fully stepped into the room, he'd surely already decided that Zero wasn't worth his time.

But then he heard a shuddering sigh which validated Kaname's presence.

And Zero suddenly _ached_ fiercely again. He was always aching for Kaname - whether it was out of passion or _compassion, _he lived and breathed for this man - he knew that now. And if Kaname chose to leave him in the end, he would continue to cling onto life, if only for the fact that he still selfishly held onto a piece of his heart that he refused to let die.

It was only after he heard Kaname's footsteps fading away that Zero realised that maybe in the time he'd been feeling sorry for himself, Kaname had already made a decision.

* * *

><p>The next time he awoke he was a lot less sore downstairs - but physical pain was less of importance to him now that he was certain in the knowledge that he'd been left for making his gravest mistake.<p>

"-et me do it,"

"… of course, Kuran-sama,"

There was the click of high heels leaving and then suddenly _Kaname_ - Kaname was there by his side, his presence was almost a tangible thing in itself and he wasn't _imagining_ him beside him. The plastic chair legs creaked and his breath gusted over Zero, and he knew for sure he was there - startlingly close and _there_, in reach of him. Kaname took his limp hand and pulled his arm out straight, pushing the loose gown sleeve up and dragging a warm, wet cloth over his skin.

Come to think of it - Zero did feel rather grimy.

Not in the usual groggy sense - not the cotton-mouthed, gritty-eyed griminess that came from sleeping for too long - it was like he'd literally taken a tumble in some dirt and was covered _all over_ in it_. _Kaname even scrubbed under his nails - an odd sensation, but Zero was bizarrely amused (and touched) by the care Kaname took in getting to every speck of dirt.

But then he understandably panicked with that thought - _oh shit _flew through his mind as he considered what lengths Kaname would go to make sure he was clean _all over _in _every nook and cranny, _because Zero knew he would quite literally go that far. He was only in a flimsy hospital gown and Kaname did not understand _boundaries. _He had an alarming tendency to quite happily breeze through them as though they didn't exist at all. Zero loved Kaname, but pigs would fly before he'd ever receive a sponge bath from him if he had any say in it. He'd had enough of embarrassing himself, so with all the energy he had he tried to bat Kaname away - but clearly he _misjudged_ his strength (which must have grown tenfold since he'd passed out) because he lunged at Kaname and manage to slap him upside the head loud enough for the sound to echo around the room.

There was brief silence before Kaname burst out laughing.

Zero's eyelids fluttered out of time with each other like a broken doll's. It was admittedly not his best look, but fuck it he'd _tried_ - and from his limited view, he thought Kaname looked pleased enough to see him awake despite his malfunctioning eyes. He must have hit him square on the cheek because Kaname was laughing and jokingly clutching it as though it actually _hurt_.

Eventually Kaname sobered and then watched Zero with his usual piercing gaze, the corners of his mouth twitching up every so often as though he was trying not to smile. Zero knew why Kaname didn't want to appear _too _happy - that laugh told him he already had Kaname's forgiveness pending, but Kaname didn't want to make it look like he was giving in too easily. There were rules to be followed for an apology to be done right - and given the scale of Zero's betrayal, his punishment ought to last much longer - yet they were both struggling to stay angry, struggling to stay _apart._

Zero felt constricted, like his happiness was dictated by these unspoken rules - it was like controlling the Sun, wanting nothing more than for it to burst through the clouds and shine, but afraid it would burn everything out by how powerful it would be. And when he looked at Kaname, all he could see was impatience, not _anger_, prowling like a caged tiger in his eyes. It broke the tension between them - their mutual recognition of what they both truly wanted more than anything else - reconciliation.

"Zero," Kaname finally said in an admonishing tone, "I shouldn't be laughing,"

He said so as if it were Zero's fault - his lips clenching to hold it all back. He lifted Zero's hand up to kiss it tenderly. "I should be mad at you - I _am _- will you stop looking at me like that? I'm not even exaggerating, Zero - you almost - just look at this," Kaname lifted Zero's hands into their line of sight. He didn't get what Kaname was pointing out at first - only when he swept the wet cloth over his skin again did Zero realise what he was dirty from. The cloth had a smear of pale grey on it.

It wasn't regular dirt - it was dust.

When a lowly Vampire dies, they turn to _dust. _

And Zero was _covered_ in it_. _

The humour had left Kaname by this point. His mouth was a tight line and his brow was furrowed. Kaname looked like a ghost, white-faced and gaunt. He didn't know how long he'd been unconscious for, but in that time Kaname looked like he'd aged more than Zero had seen in his whole lifetime - worry lines on his forehead, sadness in his eyes. He was even dressed in mourning _black_.

"I was preparing to bury you," Kaname explained, "Or - I suppose I might have scattered your ashes somewhere meaningful to you,"

Zero couldn't think of any place that meaningful to him. He didn't regard any particular place as his home - he was a true wanderer at heart. That would logically suggest him being scattered across the ocean or a river, but for some reason the only place that made sense to Zero was a _mountain. _A tall, unmovable mountain.

"I hope you will never know what it's like to be forced to do that - to have to choose what flowers will adorn your grave, what music we'd have for your funeral march, _Zero,_"

Kaname's voice had shrunk down to a bare whisper, his eyes were untrained on some spot in an inconceivable space - he was stuck somewhere unreachable, _lost._ Zero reached out slowly and missed Kaname's face by several inches, his arm flailing ridiculously over the side of the bed. Kaname caught it and carefully placed it exactly in the warm spot Zero had smacked earlier.

"Each time I touched you I thought you would break," he continued, revealing to Zero each of his fears one by one, "I thought you would turn to ash. The _blame_, Zero? It's all on me. I should have _never…_" his voice cracked at the end, and he leant back in his chair, ignoring Zero's imploring gaze. "I'm _sorry_,"

"K-Kaa…"

Without saying a word, Kaname helped him drink some water and wiped up all the spills, and then he returned back to his seat. Zero wet his lips and opened his mouth to speak, but all that came out was an embarrassing croak. With that - his mouth snapped shut. Kaname didn't even seem to hear him - so lost was he in his melancholy.

"You will _never _do as I say, and forcing you to do so only drives you further away. The only option this leaves me is to let you go,"

He laughed harshly - it was a terrible sound, like nails on a chalkboard - and Zero couldn't bear to hear the sound of it. He also surprised himself by how repulsed he was by Kaname's deduction - where he thought he would have greeted his suggestion with approval, he instead felt ashamed. He wanted to be bound to Kaname's will, but not caged by it - more like a tethered kite - he wanted to be free to move as he wanted, but have somewhere he could return to - somewhere he belonged.

"I think it's fairly obvious that I've already forgiven you. Even when I don't want to, somehow I always will," he then stood, alerting Zero to the fact that he was going to _leave him _once again. "I just want you to take into account that for all your strength and all of mine, we are the two people who can most hurt each other. And out of the two of us - you are the only one who will ever choose to end things. It will be by your word and your word only,"

He walked to the door neither quickly nor slowly, but surely - and it made Zero's toes twitch with the urge to walk with him. Each step was more terrifying than the last - Zero flinched as Kaname opened the door, and when it closed behind him he thought that he had grossly misjudged the situation between them. Yes, they had reconciled but now?

He was gone.

* * *

><p>Waking up didn't appeal much to him after that. It was only a combination of his jittery over-rested body wanting to move and the fact that his visitors were incapable of keeping their voices down that forced him awake. If it weren't for these two things, Zero may have never got up and gotten the chance to put things right - so really, everything that happened next was all thanks to his patience running dangerously low.<p>

He opened his eyes and immediately groaned.

"Oh not _you_,"

Zero shoved a finger into Ichiru's face, catching him right on the tip of his nose, "Stay the fuck away from me. I'm lucky my voice is still this low, you ungainly ass," Zero unashamedly poked at his junk to check it was still all there and functioning, "Be glad I didn't become your _nee-san_, or I would've still made sure we were still _identical _twins_,"_

"Oh _god_, you were awake…" Ichiru's face flared bright red and he shrank back.

"Unfortunately," Zero gave him a rather mellowed-out stink-eye (thanks to the medicine), "Your bedside manner is atrocious. _Death _was kinder than you,"

"'m sorry nii-san," Ichiru mumbled.

Zero graciously accepted his apology - but then he caught sight of a worse sight over Ichiru's right shoulder - and Ichiru must have sensed the outraged roar building up in Zero's lungs because he darted forwards before Zero could utter a sound. The suddenness of the movement immobilised Zero in shock, and he instinctively (and understandably) curled up like a shrimp on his side. Ichiru's hand was covering his mouth, his other finger pressed to his lips in a hushing gesture. Kaito peeled himself from the door jamb and peered down at him, then he flicked his eyes upwards to a space above Zero -

Ichiru rolled him onto his left side. Zero couldn't hold back the massive grin that split his face in two.

Kaname was crammed on one of those uncomfortable plastic chairs, his arms and legs crossed and his typical straight-as-a-rake posture had completely destroyed by the chair. His head was bowed too, chin on chest - he was _asleep_ but more importantly - he was _back. _Each time Zero thought he was gone forever, he kept coming back! He was like… the strangest and best living boomerang Zero could have ever asked for. The only thing was that Zero predicted one day his boomerang would hit him hard in the face as karma for continuously pushing him away.

Kaname looked so out of place - and so _uncomfortable. _Zero winced at the thought of the giant crick in his neck he'd get from sitting like that for so long, and wondered _how _long he might have been in that position for. What _was _he doing there though? Hadn't he just told Zero they were 'over' and placed the blame for that on Zero? Was this nothing more than concern borne from the responsibility he had for Zero? After all - Zero was technically under his protection, regardless of their personal matters - he had taken made that pledge the second he gave Zero his blood and was therefore obligated to watch over him.

Zero noticed again how exhausted and unkempt and _older _Kaname looked. His skin was greyish and his hair was a tangled mess. Zero carefully shuffled to the edge of the bed, where he then stretched his arm out as far as he could. He was short a few centimetres, and the tips of his fingers only glanced across Kaname's sprawled leg.

"Just a friendly reminder, bro - you know - you're wearing a hospital gown and… we're kinda getting a _view,"_

They would never find Kaito's body_. _Not even a _speck_ of his remains.

"Have I not told you before - eyes _off _what is mine,"

"Ease up, Casanova, he's _totally_ yours,"

Zero was sort of half-way between rolling onto his back, but Kaname's voice held him there suspended in that awkward angle - naked ass be damned - the only thing that mattered was that Kaname was _not _in fact asleep - one corner of his mouth was lifted a bare millimetre - and one eye cracked open, landing immediately on Zero. His smile was so _blasé_ it made Zero's blood boil.

"What are you doing here?" he found himself asking, his voice more angry than he'd meant it to be, barely a second's pause before he added, "You _left_,"

"I did. And then I came back," Kaname answered surprisingly calmly.

"But we broke up," Zero whispered, "You said so yourself,"

Kaname blinked in obvious confusion, "That doesn't mean I've stopped caring for you. It doesn't mean I can't come back to you - or that we can't start over again. I never meant that things would be _completely_ over between us, Zero,"

"But that's what you said," he stared at Kaname like he was speaking a foreign tongue, "That's what '_breaking up' _means_, _Kaname - you said we were over!"

"Do you not want me here?" Kaname's voice became abruptly colder and he began to rise out of his seat in obvious agitation, "Is that why - if you want me to leave, I will-"

"_No-"_

"-I want this to work," he said plaintively, "This thing between us - we can fix it. I know we can. I _want_ to fix it, but you have to trust me,"

Zero stared at him for a long moment, his heart in his throat. He could hear his blood thudding in his ears. "I do," he admitted_,_ "It's not you I don't trust, it's-"

"You?" Kaname asked, eyebrows raised as Zero fell silent. Kaname sighed and leant forward, placing an achingly sweet kiss on Zero's hand, he then met his eyes and held them. "I love you," he said. "I'm not going to leave you if you make a mistake. Or a couple. Or a hundred," then he frowned in concern, "Zero, you're shaking."

A hand came up to hide his face as he nodded miserably. He couldn't help it, he'd never wanted something this much before - he'd never been so _happy _or _relieved _before to have someone as stubborn as himself willing to fight for_ him_. The intensity of that being thrown in the open was a little disturbing; and being this open with someone, even Kaname, scared him - and no matter how much he tried to ignore them, he couldn't forget that Ichiru and Kaito were still in the room too.

"So how did it happen then? H-How did I kill him?" the change in topic was so obviously a distraction from his feelings, but everyone thankfully took the cue and allowed him some time to compose himself. Zero mercifully flipped onto his back. It was getting breezy back there anyway, and he wasn't up for more over-exposure.

"You don't remember?" Kaito burst out, stepping into the room. "Seriously? You. Don't. _Remember_,"

"I was busy dying, asshole. That kinda made everything else a little bit blurry in the last few minutes,"

"Yes, he's dead, they're both dead," Kaname answered him, conjuring the Weapon out of seemingly nowhere. He chucked it onto the bed, little flecks of dried blood and glittering crystal dust flaked onto the pristine white mattress. Zero cringed at the smell of Rido's blood -

"Wait, when you say _both _dead, do you mean…"

"You know what I mean. There were two people you killed last night - Rido _and _Katsuo. It's really over this time - they're both gone,"

"Who are you talking about?" Kaito cut in, "Who's '_Katsuo'_ and '_Lady_' and-"

"This isn't for you, man. Go get us some drinks or something," Ichiru helpfully shoved him out of the room but stayed at the door himself. Zero guessed he might know a little of what they were talking about, taking Lady's hijacking of his mind into account, he might have a better idea of who she was.

"It's still important that you tell us everything you can remember though, Zero. Although we have this," Kaname nodded at the dagger, "As proof, only _you _were present at the time of their deaths. Only _you _can confirm he was killed and that he did not escape once again,"

Zero gingerly picked up the dagger, nose wrinkling as a rain of blood soaked crystal particles dirtied the sheets, "This has crystals on it. Isn't that enough proof that he died?"

"Lady's crystals were all over the scene when we arrived. It looked like they fell from the ceiling - it could just as easily be hers,"

That was true - Zero remembered the thunderous crash of the crystals everywhere - how they pinned Rido to the ground, aiding in the final strike he delivered with the blade he now held in his hands. He told Kaname and Ichiru everything he could, from the moment he stepped into Lady's temple to the last thing he saw before death. The part about the vines had both Ichiru and Kaname sucking in their breaths and shooting glances over his head. Zero watched Kaname's reactions in awe as each part of the story was told, amazed that he was willingly displaying such a breadth of emotions so openly. He supposed that between himself and Ichiru, Kaname didn't feel the need to hide himself. The three of them had seen too much of each other to care about appearances anymore.

Finally Kaname nodded, a reassuring response to Zero's tale.

"Then they are definitely dead," he confirmed, the worry lines on his forehead smoothing out, "We can be certain of that from what you said,"

"What do you mean by that?" Zero couldn't help but interject, "I know I killed Rido, but from how I understand it - Katsuo is a large reason why Rido became the twisted bastard that he is - he pretty much did what Lady did to Ichiru, didn't he?"

"He didn't possess him as much, exactly - to be more accurate, you could say that his spirit cohabited Rido's body and taught him to think as he did,"

"But basically his _soul _survived millennia and managed to sneak its way into Rido, didn't it?"

Kaname nodded, "It sought a host and saw in Rido an ideal partner-in-crime. They shared a similar thirst for revenge, and the willingness to go to any length to get it. Their paths converged into one. They became _one_,"

Zero shuddered. _Creepy. _"So what makes you think that Katsuo doesn't _still_ live on?"

"I see what you mean," Ichiru nodded solemnly, "We know that Rido is dead - the Weapon killed him for sure. But Katsuo?" he shrugged, "He got through death once. Who's to say he hasn't done it again?"

"But that's where you're both wrong, see - the answer lies in the Weapon itself - who made it, and who it was intended for. Remember what I told you about a Pureblood Weapons - it only works when it is used on the correct victim - the dagger was Juri's, intended for Rido,"

"So, what was Katsuo's Weapon then?" Ichiru asked.

"Isn't it obvious? It was Zero's blood,"

* * *

><p>Zero could practically hear all the pieces slotting into place in his head, all of them clicking together and suddenly making <em>sense. <em>

He saw the moment after Rido gorged on his blood clear as crystal in his mind - there was the gurgle of him choking as he fell to the floor in a violent spasm, and then pools of black poison spilled across the floor. Whilst Rido struggled to fight against Zero's blood vines, Katsuo had been dying inside him -

"Zero's _blood_?" Ichiru squawked, "So we could have been done with all of this _years _ago?"

Kaname nodded reluctantly, "If we'd known back then,"

"_Excuse you both!"_ Zero sputtered indignantly, "Are you implying you'd have fire-hosed my blood at him _if you had known_?"

"No - _principles, _Zero - anyway, perhaps all he would have needed would've been no more than a teaspoon. If that had been the case, I'm pretty sure we could've taken that from you in your sleep without you noticing," Kaname said with a small wry smile - a nod to millennia ago when he'd stolen the villagers' blood every night. "Anyhow, it worked the way it did. No point dwelling on-"

"_Hold _on - there are _things_ missing in this story. How the _hell _did my blood become a freaking Weapon? When did that happen?"

Kaname frowned at him, apparently unable to see where Ichiru and Zero were finding difficulty in grasping this whole mystery.

"Zero, I'd have thought you would have remembered the Creation of the Hunters. You _were_ there, after all," he withstood Zero's _get-on-with-it _glare for a few seconds before continuing, "_Lady_? She gave you her blood - is _any _of this ringing a bell?"

_Oh_, Zero literally smacked himself - of _course. _Lady may have sacrificed her blood to be fed on by the vengeful Humans and her heart to the Hunters' weapons - but the first blood she sacrificed was given to _Isamu _via injection. He remembered how it had killed him and he'd awoken as the first Hunter - what Zero hadn't ever suspected was that this was not only a sacrifice, but a re-writing of his fate. When Lady died, she passed on her legacy to Isamu and within this gift she hid her Weapon for Katsuo. _It was_ _always going to happen_, Zero realised. Perhaps the reason why he'd been reincarnated and survived all this time was because of Lady intended it. He was her knight - her Weapon - and he couldn't die till his part of the deal was done.

"Let me just check something,"

Kaname shuffled onto the bed and grabbed his chin, turning his head the other way. He was touching him so lightly that Zero could barely feel it, and was even more frustrated when Ichiru - the only interesting thing to see, facing that way - decided to join Kaname and fuel Zero's curiosity.

"What are you doi-"

"Ah, that's good," Kaname flew over the bed and leant down to kiss Zero's face, "That's very good. It's really over, thank god," he babbled, kissing his face all over in between words.

"That's amazing!" Ichiru exclaimed, also scrambling over Zero's body (he winced and warily squirmed away from his brother's haphazard limbs, into Kaname's safer embrace) in his enthusiasm.

"What are you both gawking at?" Zero managed to work an arm out of the sandwich he was becoming, and gingerly patted around his face.

"It's _gone_, Zero," Ichiru grinned, looking to Kaname for confirmation, "Your _tattoo,"_

The Hunters' Seal was gone? Zero couldn't feel anything other than pain when he fingered the wound - then again, he couldn't possibly feel the ink that had stained his skin, even when it had been there before.

The Seal had subdued his Vampire back when he'd first been Bitten. For four years it had kept the monster at bay - at one point he'd even thought it would be able to keep him Human forever - but like any caged monster, over the years his grew in ferocity. His Vampirism came for him worse in the end since he had fought it down for so long - it tore his Humanity to shreds, leaving nothing behind. He became the very monster he had once feared.

The tattoo was nothing more than a reminder to him - of what happened when he fought the inevitable. The Seal tamed him - branded him a danger to anyone unsupervised. Zero hated yet needed it to keep him in check, and over time it became a part of him. And now, despite the fact that he knew it was gone, Zero dragged his fingers over the raw edges of the wound again and again, gritting his teeth as the dull throb became irritated into stinging and then _burning -_

"-n't need it, Zero. Let it _go-_"

Somebody had grabbed his wrists. It didn't take long for them to pull his hands away, since he had so little strength to fight with - all his previous strength sapped out of him as he struggled to comprehend _what he was, _and he was left weak and in distress_. _His fingers were sticky - with blood, he presumed - and he could taste his own blood in the air. It made him feel sick, and his stomach rolled as he was dragged under and dragged out to sea - that empty feeling of _loss. _

"-ro, come here, Zero it's okay. It's okay…"

A wash of soothing noises and comforting words rushed over him like a wave as Zero sank into the arms of his brother and lover, who were trying to hold him together between their arms and legs and voices. He burrowed into the warmth - great big sobs, all wet and noisy - rocketed through his body, the emotions and sorrows and victories bursting out of him in this one beautiful release.

He cried because there was nothing left in him to change - this was _it_ - this was who he was now. The monster he'd been fighting for had come and swallowed him whole. Zero got his breathing under control, and the calmness of his closest family wrapped around him brought him back to shore. It took some time for him to settle, for him to realise that he had been found - he had a place to be… to be _himself, _whoever that may be - whether he was a Hunter, Human or Vampire, or something else altogether.

But it would still take some time for him to learn and discover and accept more of that. After all, it was too soon - he could still taste the bitter salt of the sea on his lips which had gathered in the creases of his face like tears.

* * *

><p>"How do you feel?"<p>

Zero grimaced. He always hated having to answer the incessant '_are you okay now?' _questions that had to follow from him crying. Couldn't they just leave him alone? They always had to make such a big deal of it, didn't they?

"I feel fine. I feel the same. Can we just drop it now?" he snapped, kicking at Ichiru's elbow as he tried to put socks on his feet. "Goddamn it, I'll never cry in front of you again,"

"Crying is never a sign of weakness, Zero," Kaname intoned softly, causing Zero to roll his eyes dramatically at his fortune-cookie wisdom.

"I know _that_. It's you guys - stop fussing over me! For fuck's sake - and who fucking taught you how to dress like this, Ichiru? Seriously?"

Ichiru huffed, "These are _your _clothes, nii-san! I don't get what you're picking on me f-"

"Socks _before _pants is what I meant, Ichiru!" Zero gestured to his bare legs.

"No pants means no boxers either," Kaname added ever-so-helpfully.

Ichiru wrinkled his nose, "Oh _hell _no. That's where I draw the line. Sorry bro, I've seen enough of you naked to last me for good,"

Zero's eyebrow popped up, "Are you telling me you're never going to look in a mirror for the rest of your life?"

Ichiru snorted, not even deigning Zero with an answer - he instead went to fetch something on the far side of the room - meanwhile, Kaname continued to help Zero into his clothes. After his crying session, Zero felt exposed and raw in every way you could think of - emotionally and physically - so he demanded some proper clothing. He'd got enough grief from hospital gowns to give him a lifelong grudge.

"Ah - good thinking, Ichiru," Kaname took whatever Ichiru had brought and handed it to Zero, "Drink up. You're still healing,"

Zero held one of Kaname's bagged bloods and scrunched up his face - it was _cold_. He hated drinking chilled blood - it was nasty, like cold porridge.

"Is that the last one?" Kaname asked Ichiru, who nodded. Kaname frowned, moving to rise from the bed, "I'll go get some mo-"

"Kaname, that's _enough_," Ichiru said firmly, halting him in his tracks. The younger twin's face was uncharacteristically stern, and left no room for argument. "He's better now,"

Zero watched this in mild confusion, but even with him knowing scant details of the exchange, he quickly pieced together what it meant - Kaname's pallid complexion, the fact that he was so exhausted, the bagged blood and the fact that Ichiru said _no more_ -

"Oh _Kaname,"_ he breathed - exasperated, yet incredibly touched by Kaname's generosity - and yet, how _stupid _of him to clearly overdo himself in giving blood when he needed it hiimself. Ichiru was perhaps even a little late in stopping Kaname from doing so - if they took any more blood out of him, Zero wondered if Kaname would shrivel up like in the cartoons and wither into a heap on the floor.

Kaname smiled, as if to say '_It was nothing'_, and simply gave Ichiru a nod as he returned to his seat. He still badgered Zero to drink the blood for strength, which he did - though reluctantly. He pierced the bag with a fang and sipped at it, uncomfortably aware that this was the first time Ichiru was seeing him drinking blood in this way - Zero bizarrely felt like a preschooler drinking a juice carton, with the way he was sucking it down. He thought Ichiru would have been scared off by now - in fact, he had hoped the prospect of helping him get dressed would have deterred Ichiru enough so he could have sometime with Kaname, but he was annoyingly resistant.

He didn't exactly want to discuss where they stood in their _relationship _with his younger brother in the room. He closed his eyes and let out a little moan, slurping at the blood and letting himself enjoy it - and then opened his eyes. Ichiru wasn't even looking at him! He was completely unaffected - folding away a blanket and tidying up the bedsheets!

"Aren't you even a _little _bit disgusted?" he finally snapped, Ichiru's head jerking up in surprise. Zero pointed at his bloody mouth. Ichiru rolled his eyes.

"Don't be stupid. You're a Vamp. Of course you gotta drink blood," he shrugged, "It doesn't bother me,"

Zero sighed, wondering if his brother was really oblivious to his hints, or if he was just playing stupid.

He decided to be a little more blunt for both their sakes.

"That's good. But I want to speak with Kaname," he paused, fleetingly despairing over the cliché of his wording, but it had to be said - "_Alone_,"

Ichiru scowled and shook his head stubbornly, "No more secrets. Anything you can say to him you can say to me," he stuck out his chin imperiously for good measure.

Zero barely had time to open his mouth in protest before Kaname swooped down and caught his words with his mouth. He barely noticed Ichiru's jaw drop, and only registered that he had left the room when the mattress bounced from him scrambling off it and the door slammed from his eager escape. He guessed the message had been successfully delivered, if that was anything to go by. Then Zero experienced strangest sensation of two people laughing as one - as he and Kaname laughed into each others' mouths and their bodies shook the whole world with their laughter.

When they calmed down, chuckles and quips about Ichiru's hasty departure chasing their merriment into an easy silence, Zero reached up and attempted to smooth down Kaname's unruly sorrel locks, though he just made them into a bigger mess.

Kaname practically beamed down at him, contentedly pressing into Zero's hands and basking in his attention.

"Why are you so good to me, Kaname(1)?" he murmured, his hands coming to a stop around his jawbone, "Even after what I've done, you just _forgave_ me like it was nothing. Why can't you yell at me instead of being so bloody forgiving?"

"It wasn't '_nothing'_," he corrected, "And that's exactly the point,"

Kaname fell quiet, the only sound coming from him were his slow, rhythmic breaths.

"I can keep saying it as many times as you want me to, but I fear you'll get tired of me saying it if I say it too much, or that the words will lose their meaning in time through careless repetition - but it is because I love you," he buried his face in Zero's neck, and he could feel the pattern of his words on his skin, "That is always the reason. It's because you are still alive. Do you remember when we were making love and I told you a Bond can only be forged with intent? Well, it turns out that I was wrong.

"We've been double-Bonded, maybe even _triple-_Bonded if you want to include me Biting Isamu. I always thought Bonding required a ceremony, but that isn't true - our souls made the decision for us before we could. We Bonded when we met, we Bonded when we kissed, we Bonded when I drained you of life and millennia later when you took my blood to live.

"We Bonded when we made love that night. You gave me back my Pureblooded soul - and without my meaning to - that was what kept you alive. You held onto me - twice through death - and through all these years. I _love _you,"

"Kaname-"

"No Zero," the king demanded softly, shoving his face into the crook of Zero's neck, "I've waited far too long for this. Let me be a romantic sap. For _once_, please," and then he caught Zero in another searing kiss. He held them close together, threaded his fingers through his hair, and almost kissed the life out of him until Zero started thrashing in his arms.

"_Jesus_, Kaname!" he seethed, heaving breaths, "Just 'cause _you_ don't need to breathe doesn't mean it's the same for me!"

"Sorry," he shrugged sheepishly, "It's ten thousand years of waiting spilling out at once,"

"Well, take your time then!" Zero exclaimed, "We are not gonna test the strength this '_Bond' _just for the hell of it!"

Kaname laughed, ducking down to kiss him again. He blanketed Zero's body with his own, and whispered in his ear, "No matter how many times, Zero, it will always work. I promise…"

* * *

><p><span><strong>EPILOGUE<strong>

The valley was covered in fog as usual - but instead of cloaking the mountains in a fluffy white sea, the slither of Sun rising over the Left Mountain painted the whole scene in swathes of burnished gold, and the mist scattered this everywhere as a shimmering haze of warmth and light. They were lucky that hadn't rained too much. For the last week and a half it had been hailstorms, thunder and lightning. Even during the day it had showered, but by nightfall the heavens let up.

Zero was even glad it _had _rained in the day - even though he now had a massive wet patch on the seat of his pants. The dewdrops clung to every blade of grass and lit up the morning even brighter than the mist alone. He ran his hands over the grass either side of him, the freezing coldness of it was barely felt - after they had spent so long already outside, watching the night turn into morning.

Thankfully, no one had questioned or followed them as they snuck off, hand-in-hand. Of course - the guests would be lenient to His Majesty and anyway - Kain and Aidou were doing a stellar job of distracting any curious guests with all their charisma _finally _put to good use. To be honest, Zero had just muttered to Kaname that he wanted some air - nothing _salacious _enough to warrant the cousins' synchronized suggestive smirks, Ichiru covering his eyes or Kaito's cat-call - but, what could he do when Kaname took him by the hand and practically dragged him out of the hall? How could he make it _not _look as improper as it seemed?

Their payback was that they would not be returning to the wedding. The bastards would have to fend off the angry, disgruntled crowds with flustered white lies hissed through their teeth, while he and Kaname lazed about on the grass outside - enjoying the beautiful scenery together.

At least he'd married a gentleman (of sorts) - since Kaname _hadn't_ taken his suggestion the same way as the others had. Zero was only pessimistic because over the years he had learnt to hate surprises - so he was _pleasantly _surprised when instead of leading him to an empty room or _god forbid a closet _- Kaname took him outdoors.

It was barely pushing two in the morning at that point, so the coldness of the night had been a shock compared to the warmth of the Castle - nonetheless, Zero didn't dislike it, after being stuck in the stuffy ceremony for well over three hours! He let Kaname guide him to wherever he had in mind, content to take in the scenery with a cursory glance over everything they had fixed in the past year. The Castle was mostly fixed and in order, after all the damage it had taken from the battle - surprisingly there hadn't been as much damage as they had feared. However - as Kaname had pointed out - perhaps Juri's ingenious preservation charm was still intact over the Castle. There had been reports of things fixing themselves without anyone assigned to the tasks. It did warm his heart to think that they were still being watched over.

Kaname took him straight to Juri's Garden - which was now open to everyone - but then, instead of taking him into it, he took Zero to… a gate that _hadn't_ been there before. Zero shot him a curious look, but followed him inside regardless - only when Kaname hushed him (when he wasn't even talking!) did he begin to worry for his husband's sanity again.

But then, as they walked into a little patch of unremarkable grass, Zero tilted his head - he heard -

"Is that… a river?" he asked incredulously - he didn't remember there being a _river _anywhere around the garden.

(Then again, where did the water used for Juri's fountain come from?)

"Close," Kaname grinned cheekily, "But not quite. Come," he dragged Zero on further.

Unfortunately for Zero, Kaname had regained his Pureblood grace - making things like _climbing a mountainside in god knows how many layers of wedding robes _look like a freaking walk in the park - whereas Zero had his numbed hands, a ridiculous amount of clothing and generally the _dark_ (it was still very dark) working against him. Eventually he conceded and allowed Kaname to levitate him up to where he was standing.

They were on a _ledge. _Literally - it was a flat plot of land that apparently wrapped around the mountain as though it had been _carved _into it. In fact… Zero cast a dubious look at Kaname, who scratched his neck sheepishly but continued onwards, maybe it _had_. It was almost wide enough to be a meadow, and Zero was still wondering what this was all about - though he had an _idea _of what Kaname might be showing him.

And then, they stopped at a tree.

Kaname sat against the trunk and patted the ground beside him. Zero acquiesced with a dramatic sigh.

"So… what's all this about?"

Kaname couldn't help but chuckle in delight as he confirmed Zero's speculations - "My gift to you," he spread his arms out wide and leant back.

"What are you gesturing to? The tree? This weird bit of land that you've - did you _carve it out of the mountain?_ _Kaname_! What the hell were you thinki-"

"My father gifted the Garden to my mother on their wedding day. It was already complete, with the roses and fountain already made. For you, I always found that you appreciated things better when you could be a part of their making, and you prefer function over aesthetics so this orchard is for you, my love,"

Zero looked around the grassy plain, "…I'm not a gardener Kaname, but I think that orchards tend to have more trees than this,"

Kaname nodded enthusiastically, "Yes, that's the point - you can choose whatever trees you want to add to it. Or plants. Or flowers. Whatever you want. Though we are on a mountain, I've brought enough soil for plants to grow here, and there is a stream…" he pointed behind them, where Zero could see a distinct groove cut into the mountain. It tapped into the rainwater that collected at the top, he presumed, and the stream cut right through the orchard and drained into a hole in the ground. "Do you… do y-"

"This is really cool, Kaname," Zero found himself admitting. It was definitely unexpected, and not something he would've chosen for himself - but he could see all the thought that went into it by the slight tremble of Kaname's voice, and anyway - he had a frigging _orchard _now. Totally unexpected, but still very cool. "I love it," he insisted, leaning back against the tree, "So what type of tree is this?"

"Cherry blossom," Kaname squirmed under Zero's raised eyebrow, "Come _on_ - we're Japanese! I had to!"

Zero laughed - loudly, with snorts and all - and Kaname didn't join in it - he was far too entranced by watching it to risk missing a second of Zero's laughter.

"That's not all-" he added quickly, when Zero had finished.

However, Zero cut in "Wait! Let me appreciate this first - give me a minute, okay?"

A minute ended up being a lot longer - and they ended up simply watching the stars fade out of the brightening sky, the valley light up into a golden paradise, and - Zero was suddenly reminded of his second death - how he had lost out on the morning. This time he got to see it - and with Kaname right next to him he barely felt the physical cold of the autumn, or the chill that came with remembering death. Zero's eyes kept flitting back between this - Kaname's glowing face - and funnily enough, the disappearing moon. Kaname must have picked up on the latter curiosity, since he dropped his head onto Zero's shoulder and began another explanation.

"Do you know why I chose to marry you on this night?"

Zero honestly didn't - all he knew was that Kaname had been quite adamant on the date, whereas he hadn't really minded.

"It's the Sanguine Moon tonight, Zero - better known as the Hunter's Moon," he explained softly, "It means nothing to the Hunters _we_ know, but for Human hunters it was the ideal time of year for hunting by moonlight because the moon is so high in the sky,"

Zero eyed the small, glowing sphere, a little more impressed by it - also touched by it. He couldn't help but remember his devastation upon realising his Vampirism was now fully a part of him - ever since the Seal was broken. He'd felt estranged from his Hunter roots - and so alarmed by how he had transformed unaware into the beast he had once Hunted - that it had felt like looking upon this Hunter's Moon. His past was so far away from him, but it would always be there - for his daytime was now the night, and he would always look up at the moon and remember it.

"That's really deep, Kaname. I think you're secretly trying to make up for the fact that our ceremony was the freaking dullest thing I've ever had to go through," Zero wrinkled his nose, "It was the most _un_romantic wedding I have ever been a part of. They totally used us for the treaty,"

"That _is _what the whole wedding was for, technically," Kaname agreed. The peace treaty was actually the main part of the whole wedding for them - they spent the most time going through the paperwork and pledging to the court. The way Zero saw it was - since he was a living representation of all three races: Human, Hunter and Vampire - he was the 'parchment' and Kaname - as the greatest power on the planet - was the 'signature'. They made the treaty, signed it and upheld it with their marriage. It was all politics, unfortunately. Love was what existed between them and no one else.

Kaname laughed strangely and shifted around a bit - drawing Zero's attention as he drew out the next surprise from his coat.

Zero couldn't help but let out a bark of a laugh - even though the object itself wasn't that funny. Maybe because it was so unexpected - he took the unpainted duck in his hands and set it on his lap. Kaname held onto the white, painted one Zero had found in the cave, and he was staring at Zero with such a tender expression.

"I hoped you would like them," he said hoarsely, cracking a small, rueful smile, "In fact, I predicted your reaction perfectly when I made these. I knew you would laugh like that - that was exactly what I had hoped you would do,"

"What are you talking about, Kaname?"

"I made these back in the_ past_," he said, his emphasis clearly referring all the way back to the era of _Isamu and Kaname_, "It was for our last meeting - we'd agreed that that would be the last to spare us the pain of having to watch our paths diverge and I wanted to give you something to remember me by. So - the one you are holding, represents 'me', and would've been yours to keep," he lifted the white duck , "And obviously this is 'you' for me to keep," Kaname gently placed the ducks side-by-side, "They're Mandarin ducks, Zero - famous for mating for life. They're symbols of lifelong love and marriage and are often given to couples as wedding gifts. I would have told you all this had I gotten the chance to…"

He had taken Zero's hand without noticing it, and was rolling the gold band on his finger absentmindedly.

The ducks were a wedding gift? Kaname had wanted to part with Isamu with the promise of marriage still tying them together. But he hadn't gotten the chance to make Isamu this promise because - _now_ Zero remembered - their last meeting had been the same meeting when Rido had forced Kaname to kill Isamu. They had no chance to… they -

He _died _before Kaname got the chance to give him this gift.

Zero hugged his knees, needing to squeeze something to release the tension in his whole body.

At least, now - now Zero _knew. _He eyed the ducks with more solemnity than before, the meaning behind them demanding more respect from him now -

"No, Zero - please don't think like that. They're meant to be _funny_ - like joke-gifts. I wanted to hear you laugh at our last meeting - I always wanted it to be the last thing I had to remember you by, since it was the first sound I heard from you, remember?"

Zero remembered - their very first meeting, when Kaname got stuck in the mountain and little Isamu had been rolling on the ground laughing his ass off. _That _was the last thing Kaname wanted to remember him by?

A snort escaped from him, followed by a few hysterical chortles.

And then Kaname took him by the arm and scooped up the ducks with the other. They walked towards the stream, and suddenly Zero knew what Kaname was about to do - and he half-backpedalled. After the story he'd just been told - Kaname wanted to send the ducks down the stream, but Zero couldn't _bear _the thought of it. Zero's eye darted to where the currents dragged the water down a chute to god knows where. Why would Kaname want to do this? He grabbed Kaname by the arm -

But he didn't even need to ask his question - because then he _got it. _Kaname had such a serene smile on his face, which was reassuring enough, but Zero also recognised that this - this was them letting go - of their _past_ and all the bad times they had suffered through. He knelt with Kaname at the bank of the stream, and watched as he tied a red ribbon around both of their beaks. They released the ducks to the waters and watched them till they dropped down the chute and out of sight.

The stream was surprisingly fast-going, and the currents pulled the two ducks under the water and crashed them against each other and the bottom of the stream-bed. Zero couldn't see it - but the stream Kaname had carved was actually a waterfall that passed all the way through the orchard ledge and down, down, down - deep into the mountain. There were pools and wells that the ducks got to rest in as the water was slowed and drained out, and then they continued on through the tiny passages till they reached the bottom. Eventually, they would reach a large cave at the heart of the mountain, and that would be their resting-place.

The water that flowed out of a passage at the other side of the cavernous chamber met an entrance facing the valley, and even though it was the first time this had ever happened, and there was no one to watch the spectacular sight - the miniature Winter Roses that clad the mountainside? They were in bloom.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's note:<strong>

**Just wanted to explain a few things, since - as a few of you have kindly pointed out - I like to star-stud my story with lots of little details and fun extra tidbits, which I like to think **_**enhances **_**the story.**

**1) First of all - who was the boy who followed Lady into death? Why haven't I written more about that part? SEQUEL - haha! This is to keep you hooked, my darling readers! I bet you've already figured out WHO he is (and are ready to kill me for killing him), but why I've done this and what will happen because of this will be expanded on later.**

**2) Secondly - ****1**** = I took this line from Forrest Gump. I believe it's what Jenny asks Forrest, because she cannot believe his faultless loyalty and devotion to her. *sigh* I love that movie. **

**3) The last paragraph refers to the miniature roses that grow outside the entrance of the cave Isamu was buried at. Just a little extra detail for you - according to the Vampire Knight wiki, this **

"_**is a miniature rose that blooms only once every ten years even in the depth of winter"**_

**I like to merge this fact with my story by adding that - the rose blooms every ten years in honour of the ten years in total Isamu and Kaname had together. At the end of my story though - since the curse is broken, and Zero's destiny fulfilled - the rose bloomed during the Hunter's Moon in **_**autumn. **_**Symbolism, guys. :)**

**4) FINALLY - there is a reason why I keep referring to the ****Left ****Mountain and ****left ****this and ****left ****that… basically, it started out as a subconscious decision. I dunno why, but I always chose the left thing over the right thing on a whim - but do things ever really happen by chance? I don't think so - because **_**subconsciously **_**I think I was remembering something I read somewhere about the distinction between the Kings 'right hand' and 'left hand'.**

**The 'right hand' tends to be taken by some military title. It is a position of power and protection, whereas the "left hand" is the side closest to the King's heart - most commonly taken by the Queen or Royal consort - in my own interpretation, I wrote the Left Hand to be the place of Kaname and Zero's heart.**

**Alright then, THANKS AGAIN EVERYONE SO, SO MUCH YOU WONDERFUL PEOPLE- I love you guys!**

**It's not all over yet!**

**Till next time :D**

**- puui x**


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